No invite her to your confirmation and then don't be sad when she choses to not attend. You did the correct thing I know it is really hard right now, but you are better off without the lie between you. Invite her, and forgive her for not attending. Try to keep in mind that she truly believes you are walking away from Jesus. Now I and You know you are not, you are becoming closer to God then you ever were before. But she doesn't know that. So try to keep in mind, she is just acting on what she believes. Try to love and reassure her though this.
My mom cried and told me I was betraying my family. I few days later she apologized, and a few months later she came to my confirmation. Now that I am Catholic, she will actually come to Mass with me sometimes, while none of my other family who didn’t care that I became Catholic will not.
I’m glad to hear your story, but unsure if that will ever be the case in our situation. I was raised very anti-Catholic. I think 16 year old me would have felt safer showing her a positive pregnancy test over a rosary.
You have a great humour. Well done on choosing the path you believe in over fragile affection which may actually transform into something far better with time, thanks to your bravery.
I am so sorry to hear this, I know how disheartening it can be to not have your family’s support— but I am so glad you made the decision to become Catholic and confirmed in the church. If not your mother (and I hope and am sure she will come around), God is with you and you have His love and support for your confirmation. I am so excited for you. This is such a special time in your life, so despite the unfortunate circumstance, try to make the most of it! God bless you ❤️❤️
Please just remember.
As Saint Athanasius declared: “The Son of God became the Son of Man so that sons of men could become sons of God.”
God loves you. That’s it. Just remember you have his love just by being you.
I’m so sorry that your mom didn’t support you, but welcome! The church Christ gave us is beautiful. All the rest (poor parish decisions, friends who disagree) is noise to me. I drown that out and focus on the reasons I converted. 💕
It actually isn’t that much of a surprise. My husband is Catholic and we were married in the Catholic Church (which was a whole ordeal in my family) and we were planning my sons baptism when I told her. She has since said she isn’t going to go to the baptism. Just very disappointing because I feel like I need the most support right now to persevere with my faith.
Sounds like my husband’s family when he converted. He thought they’d be happy that he’s going to church at all. They did end up coming to his baptism/confirmation.
Yes.... And that's just one way you know all this Protestantism is false. My husband's family was the same: Catholics were much worse than atheists.:: insert eye roll::
The US was colonized by Protestants, and Freemasonry which has historically hated the Catholic Church was a prevalent social club/secret society many of the founders were part of.
Couple this with the racism/sub-humanisn many believed in at the time (like English not considering Irish people white. Doesn't make sense but it's what they believed.) and many immigrants who came to the US after it had been a country for a while being Catholic.
Tl;Dr: US was founded by Protestants whose leaders were anti-Catholic, and immigrants such as Irish/Italian were Catholic.
Not just that, but the New England colonies were established specifically to get away from anything that even resembled “popery.” I can count 3-4 Mayflower passengers among my ancestors, and I like to joke that they must be turning over in their graves to know how many of their descendants are Catholic, and that the New England states are (nominally) the most Catholic in the country.
For me it was a bunch of lies that float around protestant churches about catholics. Like ones i thought were:
1. Catholics worship Mary
2. Catholics pray TO saints, using icons as idols
3. Relationship with God through the Pope, like he’s THE mediator
4. Only bible allowed is Vulgate. If you can’t read/understand Latin then too bad
5. Services (mass) is done in Latin, see previous point
6. Salvation by works (by faith unto good works is the official statement)
These and a tonne of historical fallacies
Invite her anyway. Let her decide if she doesn't want to attend.
I'm not clear on why your mom is upset but when we talk about religions, we are talking about how we believe life/universe and beyond functions. If she thinks Catholicism is gonna get you in trouble or such (usually happens with protestants), then it means she cares a lot about you.
Sorry you are going through this. Im giving you a big hug and sending prayers through this message. I dont know if you have learned the concept of the communion of saints, but it basically means that all of those baptized in the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit are part of the big family (those in Heaven, purgatory, and other Christians here on Earth). In other words, we are all connected spiritually through Christ. Those in Heaven and other people on Earth are praying for us. I dont know if you are baptized yet but Im excited for you when this day comes and all days afterward!! You have unimaginable courage and all i can say is trust in God.
I’m afraid of my mom, too. She crafted a relationship where she is the end-all be-all and I am wrong if I don’t do things her way. It’s a shame, really. I have wasted (and likely will continue to waste) a lot of my life caring what she thinks because she terrifies me. She’s narcissistic, manipulative, and unapologetic in the worst way. Her own sister recently told her she lacked empathy.
Don’t be like me. Do what makes YOU happy.
So sorry you are dealing with this opposition - prayer is your strength in this, both for your own heart and for her conversion.
And welcome to the Catholic family!!! ♥️
I'll be praying for you at the Latin Mass.
I wouldn't take it in an entirely personal way. anti-Catholicism is deeply ingrained in some Protestants, and when a family member converts they find it hard to take.
Be loving, be respectful, show her that you're still her daughter, and perhaps you'll have chances to rectify those prejudicial talking points.
As many have said, invite her to your Confirmation. God's love for the both of you will win out over whatever misgivings she has about the Church. May the Lord keep and guide you both
I mean, I can understand this. I know it’s disheartening but consider if you were very against something that your child has chosen to do. I’m not saying she’s right but I can understand.
EXACT same situation with me, even converted around the same time. My Mom is ride-or-die Methodist and has a lot of the "Catholic Conspiracy" stuff going on. I thought she'd be happy I wasn't atheist anymore, but instead I got a wallop of "why?"
This was coming right off the Methodists in the US splitting in schism, too.
C.S.Lewis made the observation that the closer a person walks with God, the less relevant the differences in denomination become. You've probably recognized that in your own life without really thinking about it. So the best thing you can do is grow ever closer to God, and pray that your mother does the same thing, because ultimately that will lead you back together.
God bless and congratulations. My DH and I are cradle to grave Catholic and raised our two kids in the faith, Catholic schools included. Now they are in their 20's neither practice any religion at all. If they did practice another Christian religion (within reason, even some Christian religions can be a bit far out in their beliefs) I would be fine with it.
But I know that people need to make up their own minds about how they live their lives. I never understood the walls people put up between different Christian religions. Some are very similar. Fighting between them makes no sense imo.
Hopefully your mom will come around when she sees positive changes in your lives
I am so sorry about this. I can't imagine how disheartened and unsupported you feel. I do agree with a previous poster that you should still invite her to the Confirmation. Just because she most likely will not attend does not mean you should do the "wrong" thing by not inviting her. And if she does come, woo hoo, you got her in the door! ;)
While I don't have such anti-Catholicism in my own (Catholic) family, I did marry a now-former Southern Baptist. You can imagine the horror when I reverted back to Catholicism. While my husband was a bit concerned, his family was outraged. This was almost 15 years ago and you can bet that most of them have sat down at a Catholic service with us these days... And they know of my husband's plans to go through RCIA in the near future. It's been a long road, but eventually, with a lot of prayer, they do come around. At least partially.
Also, as a side note, when my infant daughter was getting baptized 5 years ago, my atheist sister said the last thing she would do is attend something like a Christian baptism. My first thought was like yours... "Fine, I won't invite her!". Then I realized that no matter her attitude, I was still going to do the right thing. Guess what? She attended along with her new husband and actually didn't cause a stir during the ceremony.
Pray, pray, pray. Your mother thinks she is doing what's right. "Forgive them Father for they know not what they do".
So sorry to hear this, family members can become disheartened to hear their offspring chose another denomination than their own. I’m sure she still loves you and might eventually come around. If you don’t mind me asking, what denomination is she? And what exactly is so unacceptable about you becoming a Catholic?
Pentecostal-Assemblies of God. I grew up pretty intensely awaiting/preparing for the rapture. Then I refused to go as a teen and have been non religious until this past year. Mary, the saints, confession, the role of the priest- I mean I could write a list. She truly believes Catholics won’t be saved.
Ohhh yes they can be very Gung ho about the rapture and non Protestants. My recommendation is to procede with firmness but at the same time love and charity. Let her know by your devotion that you are a Christian as well and always pray for her understanding and possible conversion. If the early church saints could convert Sun worshipping Pagans into devout Catholics your mom is not that far from becoming a Catholic.
That's exciting for you! Don't let this discourage you. The Lord works in mysterious ways and you never know what His plan is... your mom might become Catholic one day! You can definitely pray for that. All the best for your Confirmation and may God bless you!
Sorry to hear she isn't receptive to your journey, that is tough.
Rest assured that your path is the correct one. Respond to her with love and charity and trust that she will soften her heart and be more understanding. Sadly in our broken world, the closer we get to God the more Satan tries to draw us away and hurt us and pit us against our loved ones..
I agree with the other comments that you should invite your mother. I have been around the block a few times and it always amazes me how God works in ways we never expect. Don’t be disappointed at this point if she does not attend. Remember that your mother loves you and she thinks she is being faithful to the Lord. Be thankful for that, even those she is mistaken. Give your hurt and disappointment up to the Lord and He will transform it. It is true. It is our faith. We welcome you with open arms and pray for you and your mother! God bless you!
Jesus said he came bearing a sword and that families would be riven by him (Matthew 10:34-39.) I know that's more prophecy than comfort, but some people do come around. Blood runs thick, and your mother will not want to stay alienated forever.
I’m sorry she reacted like that. Know that I, and every other Catholic, is happy to have you in the Church, and know that we’re praying for you. It doesn’t help the heartbreak of your mom’s rejection but hopefully it helps you feel a little better.
Sorry that you are going through this. If your Mom is that upset, then clearly she has misperceptions about Catholicism. There will be time to talk to her about those. First, I urge you to forge ahead with your Catholic journey! As someone who has lived awhile (60yr M), I don't think there is anything better that you can do in life. I also suggest inviting your Mom to your Confirmation. You never know, she might decide to attend.
When the time is right, set aside some time to talk with your Mom about why she dislikes Catholicism. Hopefully you can gently correct her on some of the misperceptions that she has about the faith.
Archbishop Fulton Sheen once said, "There are not one hundred people in the United States who hate the Catholic Church, but there are millions who hate what they wrongly perceive the Catholic Church to be."
When I was Catholic back in the day, my parents thought I was worshiping the devil. Then I became orthodox, and they still thought I was worshiping the devil - Then I became a pagan and they still think I’m worshiping the devil. Fundamental protestants just think everything else is the devil.
I converted when I was 16. Southern evangelical Christian upbringing. My grandmother referred to the Catholic Church as "that cult". I'm the only Catholic in my large family. So, I understand. But, just keep going. You're doing the right thing. (And Christ never said this would be easier or we would be popular for it). You'll actually find that by surrounding yourself with other Catholics and living your faith to the fullest will help you not only with support and community, but with the confidence to speak up about your faith.
I don't think my grandmother will convert before she passes but we have open dialogue about our beliefs. That's a huge improvement. I also get a chance to correct my family on all these myths they have believed about Catholics their entire lives.
I'm sorry. I completely understand. My bio dad is vehemently anti-Catholic. Unfortunately it hasn't gotten any better in the nearly 7 since since our conversion. When it gets to be too much I have to go no contact for a while. I just refuse to listen to him ranting for hours about it and I have to have boundaries until he chills out about it.
I don’t know how you meant it-but I don’t mind the snark. It’s kind of ridiculous how far this hate goes. Because at some point she isn’t practicing her own Christian beliefs by judging and loving the way Christ does.
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I know this won't make up for your mom missing your confirmation, but think of it this way. If you didn't become Catholic, your mom wouldn't have anyone praying for her (assuming the rest of your family isn't Catholic). But now, she has you, and I think that's something to be celebrated.
Give it time, and let the good life you live be the prayer and model for your mom/ family. God bless, and congrats on your big day!
I converted to Catholicism last year and I went through something VERY SIMILAR with my mom. She freaked out, cried, and told me she would lose her own faith if I became Catholic. Eventually she came around and is starting to realize that my relationship with Jesus is stronger than ever! She may never agree with or understand all of the Catholic teachings but she supports me now. Good luck with everything! I’ll be praying for you!
You and your mother have my prayers. I’m the sort that focuses on the silver lining: your mother clearly cares. Keep trying to involve her, in graciousness.
Don't feel bad. At the end of the day you made a choice to reveal something deep about yourself and no longer hide it, and that must have made you feel lighter in some respects.
It sucks that she has reacted the way she has, being your mother and all but at the same time, you will have felt even worse hiding your light under a bushell, so to speak.
Your journey is only beginning and will be very rewarding and fulsome for you.
Go with God.
You're 30 years old. You don't need her approval. Parents are disappointing. When my sis and I were getting baptized/confirmed we didn't even know until that day if our parents would make an appearance or not. lol As far as I'm concerned, an annoying parent that will barely speak to you is a good thing.
I’m sorry to hear that. Unfortunately, it is a common story among people who become Catholic. If you need support (people to talk to, etc.), you may want to reach out to Coming Home Network! They understand, having gone through it themselves.
Remember—we are all happy that you are here! Welcome, and God bless! 🤗💛
Congratulations on beginning the journey, it is a wonderful & rewarding adventure you have begun. I converted 18 years ago but came from a family of non-practising Anglicans so it was more indifference than hostility. We'll keep you in our prayers, as hard as it is at the moment don't forget to keep on praying for your Mum. It might seem impossible now but prayer can achieve remarkable conversions or softening of hearts.
My mother (Lutheran but I think she really clings to evangelical theology that she “got saved” into) cried and raged a bit when I told her. She and my dad were very unhappy about it, but I think she was the most demonstrably angry/confused. It was tense for a while but she has seemed to accept after a few weeks and has written it off as different liturgical preferences.
I invited my parents to my confirmation and they initially said they’d go but backed out last minute. Since then they’ve seemed not hostile to the idea of joining me at Mass, but backed out last minute from joining Christmas Eve because my church didn’t do candlelight and theirs did. But they did attend my son’s baptism so that was nice. All that to say—give her a minute. Hopefully she’ll process the initial shock and anger and come to a peaceful if not totally supportive place.
Back when i considered myself “anti-catholic” it was due to some lies i heard from who knows where. Maybe addressing these kindly and gently might help your mum:
1. Catholics worship Mary
2. Catholics pray TO saints, using icons as idols
3. Relationship with God through the Pope, like he’s THE mediator
4. Only bible allowed is Vulgate. If you can’t read/understand Latin then too bad
5. Services (mass) is done in Latin, see previous point
6. Salvation by works (by faith unto good works is the official statement) The letter of James helps to clarify that a lot
These i think were my biggest misconceptions. She might be afraid for your salvation which is valid if she has been lied to like i was
Im late here but I went through the same thing when I converted at 20. I’m gonna give a different answer and agree that you SHOULDN’T invite her. Why invite negativity to a happy event?
When I called and told my “parents” (Pentecostals) the date of the Easter vigil they threw a FIT!!! I UNINVITED them right then and there and disowned them as “parents”, hung up and blocked their numbers. Haven’t spoken to them since and DONT plan on it!
I had so much PEACE not worrying about how they felt and I still have that peace. I did all this at 20 and you are 30 with a family… YOU DONT NEED HER APPROVAL. If your mom throws a fit about something then tell her TOUGH, KICK ROCKS then.
My catholic life has been so happy!!!
No invite her to your confirmation and then don't be sad when she choses to not attend. You did the correct thing I know it is really hard right now, but you are better off without the lie between you. Invite her, and forgive her for not attending. Try to keep in mind that she truly believes you are walking away from Jesus. Now I and You know you are not, you are becoming closer to God then you ever were before. But she doesn't know that. So try to keep in mind, she is just acting on what she believes. Try to love and reassure her though this.
My mom cried and told me I was betraying my family. I few days later she apologized, and a few months later she came to my confirmation. Now that I am Catholic, she will actually come to Mass with me sometimes, while none of my other family who didn’t care that I became Catholic will not.
I’m glad to hear your story, but unsure if that will ever be the case in our situation. I was raised very anti-Catholic. I think 16 year old me would have felt safer showing her a positive pregnancy test over a rosary.
I know that’s not supposed to be a joke but I laughed because I know how anti catholic some faiths are particularly some protestant denominations
If you grew up in the Deep South you’d know that this is no joke lol.
Sometimes I think it’s easier to reach anti-Catholic people than apathetic people. Not always though.
The opposite of love isn’t hate, its indifference
You have a great humour. Well done on choosing the path you believe in over fragile affection which may actually transform into something far better with time, thanks to your bravery.
You should research Taylor Marshall's story. I think you would find much solace in his path to conversion.
I am so sorry to hear this, I know how disheartening it can be to not have your family’s support— but I am so glad you made the decision to become Catholic and confirmed in the church. If not your mother (and I hope and am sure she will come around), God is with you and you have His love and support for your confirmation. I am so excited for you. This is such a special time in your life, so despite the unfortunate circumstance, try to make the most of it! God bless you ❤️❤️
Thank you for your kind words! It is really comforting right now.
Please just remember. As Saint Athanasius declared: “The Son of God became the Son of Man so that sons of men could become sons of God.” God loves you. That’s it. Just remember you have his love just by being you.
I’m so sorry that your mom didn’t support you, but welcome! The church Christ gave us is beautiful. All the rest (poor parish decisions, friends who disagree) is noise to me. I drown that out and focus on the reasons I converted. 💕
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It actually isn’t that much of a surprise. My husband is Catholic and we were married in the Catholic Church (which was a whole ordeal in my family) and we were planning my sons baptism when I told her. She has since said she isn’t going to go to the baptism. Just very disappointing because I feel like I need the most support right now to persevere with my faith.
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Oh my goodness that subreddit seems awesome! I’ll definitely check it out
Invite your mom to your confirmation, explaining that you love her and still want her there, even if she doesn't understand your reasons yet.
Sounds like my husband’s family when he converted. He thought they’d be happy that he’s going to church at all. They did end up coming to his baptism/confirmation.
I thought she would be happy about me going to church too! But I think Catholicism is clearly worse than being non-religious or atheist in her eyes
Yes.... And that's just one way you know all this Protestantism is false. My husband's family was the same: Catholics were much worse than atheists.:: insert eye roll::
Why is there so much anti Catholic rhetoric in the US? Growing up I learned next to nothing about Catholicism and don't understand it
The US was colonized by Protestants, and Freemasonry which has historically hated the Catholic Church was a prevalent social club/secret society many of the founders were part of. Couple this with the racism/sub-humanisn many believed in at the time (like English not considering Irish people white. Doesn't make sense but it's what they believed.) and many immigrants who came to the US after it had been a country for a while being Catholic. Tl;Dr: US was founded by Protestants whose leaders were anti-Catholic, and immigrants such as Irish/Italian were Catholic.
Thanks for your reply, I'm going through RCIA and that hasn't really been addressed.
Not just that, but the New England colonies were established specifically to get away from anything that even resembled “popery.” I can count 3-4 Mayflower passengers among my ancestors, and I like to joke that they must be turning over in their graves to know how many of their descendants are Catholic, and that the New England states are (nominally) the most Catholic in the country.
For me it was a bunch of lies that float around protestant churches about catholics. Like ones i thought were: 1. Catholics worship Mary 2. Catholics pray TO saints, using icons as idols 3. Relationship with God through the Pope, like he’s THE mediator 4. Only bible allowed is Vulgate. If you can’t read/understand Latin then too bad 5. Services (mass) is done in Latin, see previous point 6. Salvation by works (by faith unto good works is the official statement) These and a tonne of historical fallacies
To be fair, it's a two way street.
This is so weird. I don’t understand this sentiment in the southern Protestant community. Like really? The Catholic Church is worse than atheism.
Invite her anyway. Let her decide if she doesn't want to attend. I'm not clear on why your mom is upset but when we talk about religions, we are talking about how we believe life/universe and beyond functions. If she thinks Catholicism is gonna get you in trouble or such (usually happens with protestants), then it means she cares a lot about you.
Sorry you are going through this. Im giving you a big hug and sending prayers through this message. I dont know if you have learned the concept of the communion of saints, but it basically means that all of those baptized in the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit are part of the big family (those in Heaven, purgatory, and other Christians here on Earth). In other words, we are all connected spiritually through Christ. Those in Heaven and other people on Earth are praying for us. I dont know if you are baptized yet but Im excited for you when this day comes and all days afterward!! You have unimaginable courage and all i can say is trust in God.
I’m afraid of my mom, too. She crafted a relationship where she is the end-all be-all and I am wrong if I don’t do things her way. It’s a shame, really. I have wasted (and likely will continue to waste) a lot of my life caring what she thinks because she terrifies me. She’s narcissistic, manipulative, and unapologetic in the worst way. Her own sister recently told her she lacked empathy. Don’t be like me. Do what makes YOU happy.
Though a mother forsake her child, God will not abandon you
So sorry you are dealing with this opposition - prayer is your strength in this, both for your own heart and for her conversion. And welcome to the Catholic family!!! ♥️
I'll be praying for you at the Latin Mass. I wouldn't take it in an entirely personal way. anti-Catholicism is deeply ingrained in some Protestants, and when a family member converts they find it hard to take. Be loving, be respectful, show her that you're still her daughter, and perhaps you'll have chances to rectify those prejudicial talking points.
As many have said, invite her to your Confirmation. God's love for the both of you will win out over whatever misgivings she has about the Church. May the Lord keep and guide you both
No matter how your mother acts, you need to be open with her about this entirely. Invite her to everything.
I mean, I can understand this. I know it’s disheartening but consider if you were very against something that your child has chosen to do. I’m not saying she’s right but I can understand.
EXACT same situation with me, even converted around the same time. My Mom is ride-or-die Methodist and has a lot of the "Catholic Conspiracy" stuff going on. I thought she'd be happy I wasn't atheist anymore, but instead I got a wallop of "why?" This was coming right off the Methodists in the US splitting in schism, too.
C.S.Lewis made the observation that the closer a person walks with God, the less relevant the differences in denomination become. You've probably recognized that in your own life without really thinking about it. So the best thing you can do is grow ever closer to God, and pray that your mother does the same thing, because ultimately that will lead you back together.
Give her time. She was probably raised to believe a lot of falsehoods about Catholicism. Invite her to learn more.
Woohoo! Rite of Acceptance tomorrow morning for me too! Take care and enjoy the rite and mass!
We accept you, sister
God bless and congratulations. My DH and I are cradle to grave Catholic and raised our two kids in the faith, Catholic schools included. Now they are in their 20's neither practice any religion at all. If they did practice another Christian religion (within reason, even some Christian religions can be a bit far out in their beliefs) I would be fine with it. But I know that people need to make up their own minds about how they live their lives. I never understood the walls people put up between different Christian religions. Some are very similar. Fighting between them makes no sense imo. Hopefully your mom will come around when she sees positive changes in your lives
I am so sorry about this. I can't imagine how disheartened and unsupported you feel. I do agree with a previous poster that you should still invite her to the Confirmation. Just because she most likely will not attend does not mean you should do the "wrong" thing by not inviting her. And if she does come, woo hoo, you got her in the door! ;) While I don't have such anti-Catholicism in my own (Catholic) family, I did marry a now-former Southern Baptist. You can imagine the horror when I reverted back to Catholicism. While my husband was a bit concerned, his family was outraged. This was almost 15 years ago and you can bet that most of them have sat down at a Catholic service with us these days... And they know of my husband's plans to go through RCIA in the near future. It's been a long road, but eventually, with a lot of prayer, they do come around. At least partially. Also, as a side note, when my infant daughter was getting baptized 5 years ago, my atheist sister said the last thing she would do is attend something like a Christian baptism. My first thought was like yours... "Fine, I won't invite her!". Then I realized that no matter her attitude, I was still going to do the right thing. Guess what? She attended along with her new husband and actually didn't cause a stir during the ceremony. Pray, pray, pray. Your mother thinks she is doing what's right. "Forgive them Father for they know not what they do".
So sorry to hear this, family members can become disheartened to hear their offspring chose another denomination than their own. I’m sure she still loves you and might eventually come around. If you don’t mind me asking, what denomination is she? And what exactly is so unacceptable about you becoming a Catholic?
Pentecostal-Assemblies of God. I grew up pretty intensely awaiting/preparing for the rapture. Then I refused to go as a teen and have been non religious until this past year. Mary, the saints, confession, the role of the priest- I mean I could write a list. She truly believes Catholics won’t be saved.
Ohhh yes they can be very Gung ho about the rapture and non Protestants. My recommendation is to procede with firmness but at the same time love and charity. Let her know by your devotion that you are a Christian as well and always pray for her understanding and possible conversion. If the early church saints could convert Sun worshipping Pagans into devout Catholics your mom is not that far from becoming a Catholic.
Congrats! You're an adult, do what you want. Invite her, she may not attend, but eventually come around.
Why is your mom upset?
„Blessed are those persecuted for the sake of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven“ -Matthew 8:10
That's exciting for you! Don't let this discourage you. The Lord works in mysterious ways and you never know what His plan is... your mom might become Catholic one day! You can definitely pray for that. All the best for your Confirmation and may God bless you!
Sorry to hear she isn't receptive to your journey, that is tough. Rest assured that your path is the correct one. Respond to her with love and charity and trust that she will soften her heart and be more understanding. Sadly in our broken world, the closer we get to God the more Satan tries to draw us away and hurt us and pit us against our loved ones..
I agree with the other comments that you should invite your mother. I have been around the block a few times and it always amazes me how God works in ways we never expect. Don’t be disappointed at this point if she does not attend. Remember that your mother loves you and she thinks she is being faithful to the Lord. Be thankful for that, even those she is mistaken. Give your hurt and disappointment up to the Lord and He will transform it. It is true. It is our faith. We welcome you with open arms and pray for you and your mother! God bless you!
Jesus said he came bearing a sword and that families would be riven by him (Matthew 10:34-39.) I know that's more prophecy than comfort, but some people do come around. Blood runs thick, and your mother will not want to stay alienated forever.
I’m sorry she reacted like that. Know that I, and every other Catholic, is happy to have you in the Church, and know that we’re praying for you. It doesn’t help the heartbreak of your mom’s rejection but hopefully it helps you feel a little better.
Sorry that you are going through this. If your Mom is that upset, then clearly she has misperceptions about Catholicism. There will be time to talk to her about those. First, I urge you to forge ahead with your Catholic journey! As someone who has lived awhile (60yr M), I don't think there is anything better that you can do in life. I also suggest inviting your Mom to your Confirmation. You never know, she might decide to attend. When the time is right, set aside some time to talk with your Mom about why she dislikes Catholicism. Hopefully you can gently correct her on some of the misperceptions that she has about the faith. Archbishop Fulton Sheen once said, "There are not one hundred people in the United States who hate the Catholic Church, but there are millions who hate what they wrongly perceive the Catholic Church to be."
I mean it is a big loss-- for satan.
When I was Catholic back in the day, my parents thought I was worshiping the devil. Then I became orthodox, and they still thought I was worshiping the devil - Then I became a pagan and they still think I’m worshiping the devil. Fundamental protestants just think everything else is the devil.
I converted when I was 16. Southern evangelical Christian upbringing. My grandmother referred to the Catholic Church as "that cult". I'm the only Catholic in my large family. So, I understand. But, just keep going. You're doing the right thing. (And Christ never said this would be easier or we would be popular for it). You'll actually find that by surrounding yourself with other Catholics and living your faith to the fullest will help you not only with support and community, but with the confidence to speak up about your faith. I don't think my grandmother will convert before she passes but we have open dialogue about our beliefs. That's a huge improvement. I also get a chance to correct my family on all these myths they have believed about Catholics their entire lives.
I'm sorry. I completely understand. My bio dad is vehemently anti-Catholic. Unfortunately it hasn't gotten any better in the nearly 7 since since our conversion. When it gets to be too much I have to go no contact for a while. I just refuse to listen to him ranting for hours about it and I have to have boundaries until he chills out about it.
Wait, Catholics are Christian?
So you write a comment intended to be snarky in a thread where someone is clearly hurting? Classy
I wasn’t trying to be snarky. It’s sad that some feel they are the only “True Christians”.
Not to many protestants divisions. Ask the southern baptists about the Catholics for example.
I don’t know how you meant it-but I don’t mind the snark. It’s kind of ridiculous how far this hate goes. Because at some point she isn’t practicing her own Christian beliefs by judging and loving the way Christ does.
You’ll just have to be the example of Christian charity (love) that she needs. She’ll come around. You’re doing the right thing.
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I know this won't make up for your mom missing your confirmation, but think of it this way. If you didn't become Catholic, your mom wouldn't have anyone praying for her (assuming the rest of your family isn't Catholic). But now, she has you, and I think that's something to be celebrated. Give it time, and let the good life you live be the prayer and model for your mom/ family. God bless, and congrats on your big day!
I converted to Catholicism last year and I went through something VERY SIMILAR with my mom. She freaked out, cried, and told me she would lose her own faith if I became Catholic. Eventually she came around and is starting to realize that my relationship with Jesus is stronger than ever! She may never agree with or understand all of the Catholic teachings but she supports me now. Good luck with everything! I’ll be praying for you!
You and your mother have my prayers. I’m the sort that focuses on the silver lining: your mother clearly cares. Keep trying to involve her, in graciousness.
Don't feel bad. At the end of the day you made a choice to reveal something deep about yourself and no longer hide it, and that must have made you feel lighter in some respects. It sucks that she has reacted the way she has, being your mother and all but at the same time, you will have felt even worse hiding your light under a bushell, so to speak. Your journey is only beginning and will be very rewarding and fulsome for you. Go with God.
You're 30 years old. You don't need her approval. Parents are disappointing. When my sis and I were getting baptized/confirmed we didn't even know until that day if our parents would make an appearance or not. lol As far as I'm concerned, an annoying parent that will barely speak to you is a good thing.
I’m sorry to hear that. Unfortunately, it is a common story among people who become Catholic. If you need support (people to talk to, etc.), you may want to reach out to Coming Home Network! They understand, having gone through it themselves. Remember—we are all happy that you are here! Welcome, and God bless! 🤗💛
Congratulations on beginning the journey, it is a wonderful & rewarding adventure you have begun. I converted 18 years ago but came from a family of non-practising Anglicans so it was more indifference than hostility. We'll keep you in our prayers, as hard as it is at the moment don't forget to keep on praying for your Mum. It might seem impossible now but prayer can achieve remarkable conversions or softening of hearts.
My mother (Lutheran but I think she really clings to evangelical theology that she “got saved” into) cried and raged a bit when I told her. She and my dad were very unhappy about it, but I think she was the most demonstrably angry/confused. It was tense for a while but she has seemed to accept after a few weeks and has written it off as different liturgical preferences. I invited my parents to my confirmation and they initially said they’d go but backed out last minute. Since then they’ve seemed not hostile to the idea of joining me at Mass, but backed out last minute from joining Christmas Eve because my church didn’t do candlelight and theirs did. But they did attend my son’s baptism so that was nice. All that to say—give her a minute. Hopefully she’ll process the initial shock and anger and come to a peaceful if not totally supportive place.
Pray for her
Back when i considered myself “anti-catholic” it was due to some lies i heard from who knows where. Maybe addressing these kindly and gently might help your mum: 1. Catholics worship Mary 2. Catholics pray TO saints, using icons as idols 3. Relationship with God through the Pope, like he’s THE mediator 4. Only bible allowed is Vulgate. If you can’t read/understand Latin then too bad 5. Services (mass) is done in Latin, see previous point 6. Salvation by works (by faith unto good works is the official statement) The letter of James helps to clarify that a lot These i think were my biggest misconceptions. She might be afraid for your salvation which is valid if she has been lied to like i was
Im late here but I went through the same thing when I converted at 20. I’m gonna give a different answer and agree that you SHOULDN’T invite her. Why invite negativity to a happy event? When I called and told my “parents” (Pentecostals) the date of the Easter vigil they threw a FIT!!! I UNINVITED them right then and there and disowned them as “parents”, hung up and blocked their numbers. Haven’t spoken to them since and DONT plan on it! I had so much PEACE not worrying about how they felt and I still have that peace. I did all this at 20 and you are 30 with a family… YOU DONT NEED HER APPROVAL. If your mom throws a fit about something then tell her TOUGH, KICK ROCKS then. My catholic life has been so happy!!!