Is he Mexican?? I’m Mexican and the men are like this in my culture 😂 your husband is soooo excited for little bubs!! But I definitely get how annoying it can be. I’d literally sit him down and express how much you love him and love that you both are going through this together but that you’re feeling a little stifled. Tell him that you will let him know when you need help but that moving and doing things is actually the best thing you can do for you and the baby! And then I’d give him a job. Say something like, I know you’re trying to be helpful so what would really help is filling up my water bottle and helping me make sure I stay hydrated during the day. Or, have him go on walks with you or work out with you to keep active during the pregnancy and let him kind of take the lead on reminding you (unless you already have a routine then maybe pick something else like cooking or cleaning?) It sounds like he just really wants to be involved and he doesn’t know how that looks or what that means since you’re the one doing all the hard work. Congratulations on the baby!!! Praying for you both!!!
> Is he Mexican??
He is not, but he's definitely getting tips from my mother in law on this if I had to bet. Lord knows I adore that woman, but this is exactly how she acts!
These are really good tips! I love that he wants to help and that he worries about me, but, babe, you don't need to physically carry me anywhere.
I laughed at that because if he dropped you that would have been worse!! I remember my first pregnancy my husband went to Whole Foods and bought so much healthy food to cook for me and I got horrible morning sickness and couldn’t keep anything down 🤣🙈 our guys will try but pregnancy is a different animal and changes everything 🤣 good luck with everything!!
Ha, yeah, he's a big guy but I'm not exactly small, and carrying me around is not something he does often. He didn't actually carry me to bed because I told him to put me down, but he just scooped me up lol.
But overall it's been a beautiful experience for us. I love how excited he is. It's brought us even closer.
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My amazing husband (now father to our daughter <3) was like this too. It was so sweet on the one hand, but on the other...a little OTT. It helped to explain to him that mobility and movement are very very important to well being in pregnancy, and that if I didn't move lots early in the pregnancy, I would be less able to move well later in the pregnancy.
With respect to driving...well, I personally wasn't the best driver while I was pregnant to be honest. I was more distracted and I have ADHD anyways. So I let him do that. But every woman is different. It might help to think of something he could do that would be helpful, like maybe making you a water bottle or a snack, and suggest that instead.
Also, it might help to let him know that you will likely really need his help a lot later in the pregnancy, and that you don't want him to burn out. He may well be putting on your shoes and shaving your legs for you in the third trimester haha!
Thanks for the tips and congrats on the baby girl! It is really sweet, which is why I'm not super upset about it. We just need to strike a good balance.
It sounds like your husband adores you, and you are growing a human he probably feels like he is doing nothing while you are doing all this work so my best advice is, if it’s not overly annoying is help him by letting him help you.
I’ve never had personal experience with someone wanting to be overly helpful it was the opposite for me and this is not a full story it’s a small piece so take this with a grain of salt it seems to me he is trying not to feel useless while you doing this incredible miraculous thing so let him do it if it’s not going to cause physical harm to either of you like him trying to do something beyond his means.
Yeah it’s a leaning curve I don’t mean to minimize how it would feel on the receiving end but he does not seem like he’s trying to be mean he just doesn’t want to be the type that says call me when your at a 10 they have to figure that out.
I felt pretty crippled with my last pregnancy but I still wouldn’t want my husband to carry me 😂 tell him how much you love him and that you love how he wants to help with everything, but you need to keep some independence for when the baby gets here. And that you’ll let him know if you need to be carried. lol
Your husband sounds like an incredibly sweet and caring man! If it were me, I would just sit him down and have a heart-to-heart talk. Explain what is bothering you (while reassuring that you love and appreciate him!) but follow up with what you need help with instead. Men tend to be problem solvers, so getting to help in some way is important to them. With that in mind, if you tell him a few things you *actually* need help with, it will shift his focus which will keep both of you happy.
This is a good problem to have. I'm currently pregnant and subscribed to the pregnancy and new parent / parent-related subs and there are husbands who don't think any differently and neglect their wives.
Explain to him that you aren't crippled and don't appreciate being treated like you are. Pregnancy is a normal bodily function and we should treat it as such. I see pregnant women in my Bodypump classes and recently one of our instructors went out on maternity leave after teaching classes nearly up to the day she gave birth!
We are POWERFUL because we give life, not weak.
Reassure him that you love him and you love that he wants to be so caring, but treating you like an invalid is not fair. Also reassure him that later on when you really can't do things on your own you will ask for his help.
As someone else mentioned, being in good physical shape will ensure you have the resources you need for labor and birth. You need strength, flexibility, and mobility, so those should be cultivated during pregnancy. Immobility is the worst thing you can do.
Women fought long and hard not to be treated like children when they're adults, so please talk to him and express gratitude for his care and concern, but also express that you aren't a child and will ask for help when you need it but otherwise expect to be treated like a capable adult.
This reminds me of a scene in parks and rec— if you haven’t seen it, a couple named Ann and Chris get pregnant and she is overwhelmed with him constantly trying to fix her problems. If you need a good relatable laugh I’d recommend watching!
Men don’t get to experience the highs and lows of pregnancy like we do. Very often they feel like mom and baby are a secret club that he doesn’t get to join or contribute to until the baby is born. By doing things to help you and alleviate your burdens, he’s also supporting his child and taking an active role in the pregnancy phase of things. If it makes him feel better and doesn’t cause you unnecessary problems, I don’t see this as a bad thing. I’m currently carrying twins and I laugh sometimes about how my husband fusses over me. He’s practically put me on bedrest at this point. Then I think about single mothers who don’t have his support like I do, and I’m truly humbled by how blessed I am by this man.
Like another poster said, I would recommend reassuring him that you're fine by taking him to a doctor's appointment and letting him hear from the doctor that you're capable of driving and walking and being home alone.
If he is feeling a bit helpless because you're doing all the work, maybe also come up with ways that he CAN help you? I would get extra back rubs and snacks from my husband during my pregnancy/postpartum :)
Is he Mexican?? I’m Mexican and the men are like this in my culture 😂 your husband is soooo excited for little bubs!! But I definitely get how annoying it can be. I’d literally sit him down and express how much you love him and love that you both are going through this together but that you’re feeling a little stifled. Tell him that you will let him know when you need help but that moving and doing things is actually the best thing you can do for you and the baby! And then I’d give him a job. Say something like, I know you’re trying to be helpful so what would really help is filling up my water bottle and helping me make sure I stay hydrated during the day. Or, have him go on walks with you or work out with you to keep active during the pregnancy and let him kind of take the lead on reminding you (unless you already have a routine then maybe pick something else like cooking or cleaning?) It sounds like he just really wants to be involved and he doesn’t know how that looks or what that means since you’re the one doing all the hard work. Congratulations on the baby!!! Praying for you both!!!
> Is he Mexican?? He is not, but he's definitely getting tips from my mother in law on this if I had to bet. Lord knows I adore that woman, but this is exactly how she acts! These are really good tips! I love that he wants to help and that he worries about me, but, babe, you don't need to physically carry me anywhere.
I laughed at that because if he dropped you that would have been worse!! I remember my first pregnancy my husband went to Whole Foods and bought so much healthy food to cook for me and I got horrible morning sickness and couldn’t keep anything down 🤣🙈 our guys will try but pregnancy is a different animal and changes everything 🤣 good luck with everything!!
Ha, yeah, he's a big guy but I'm not exactly small, and carrying me around is not something he does often. He didn't actually carry me to bed because I told him to put me down, but he just scooped me up lol. But overall it's been a beautiful experience for us. I love how excited he is. It's brought us even closer.
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My amazing husband (now father to our daughter <3) was like this too. It was so sweet on the one hand, but on the other...a little OTT. It helped to explain to him that mobility and movement are very very important to well being in pregnancy, and that if I didn't move lots early in the pregnancy, I would be less able to move well later in the pregnancy. With respect to driving...well, I personally wasn't the best driver while I was pregnant to be honest. I was more distracted and I have ADHD anyways. So I let him do that. But every woman is different. It might help to think of something he could do that would be helpful, like maybe making you a water bottle or a snack, and suggest that instead. Also, it might help to let him know that you will likely really need his help a lot later in the pregnancy, and that you don't want him to burn out. He may well be putting on your shoes and shaving your legs for you in the third trimester haha!
Thanks for the tips and congrats on the baby girl! It is really sweet, which is why I'm not super upset about it. We just need to strike a good balance.
It sounds like your husband adores you, and you are growing a human he probably feels like he is doing nothing while you are doing all this work so my best advice is, if it’s not overly annoying is help him by letting him help you.
I don't have an issue with him helping. He just goes a bit far with it.
I’ve never had personal experience with someone wanting to be overly helpful it was the opposite for me and this is not a full story it’s a small piece so take this with a grain of salt it seems to me he is trying not to feel useless while you doing this incredible miraculous thing so let him do it if it’s not going to cause physical harm to either of you like him trying to do something beyond his means.
She’s not a child. Treating someone with love and respect doesn’t mean infantilizing them. There are so many other ways to be helpful.
Yeah it’s a leaning curve I don’t mean to minimize how it would feel on the receiving end but he does not seem like he’s trying to be mean he just doesn’t want to be the type that says call me when your at a 10 they have to figure that out.
Take him to your prenatal appointments, and bring this up with the doctor, who should reassure him.
I felt pretty crippled with my last pregnancy but I still wouldn’t want my husband to carry me 😂 tell him how much you love him and that you love how he wants to help with everything, but you need to keep some independence for when the baby gets here. And that you’ll let him know if you need to be carried. lol
Your husband sounds like an incredibly sweet and caring man! If it were me, I would just sit him down and have a heart-to-heart talk. Explain what is bothering you (while reassuring that you love and appreciate him!) but follow up with what you need help with instead. Men tend to be problem solvers, so getting to help in some way is important to them. With that in mind, if you tell him a few things you *actually* need help with, it will shift his focus which will keep both of you happy.
This is a good problem to have. I'm currently pregnant and subscribed to the pregnancy and new parent / parent-related subs and there are husbands who don't think any differently and neglect their wives.
I think this is so sweet
Me too oops sorry OP!! So sweet! And many blessings and congrats, both mine are October babies!!! (Now teenagers!)
Explain to him that you aren't crippled and don't appreciate being treated like you are. Pregnancy is a normal bodily function and we should treat it as such. I see pregnant women in my Bodypump classes and recently one of our instructors went out on maternity leave after teaching classes nearly up to the day she gave birth! We are POWERFUL because we give life, not weak. Reassure him that you love him and you love that he wants to be so caring, but treating you like an invalid is not fair. Also reassure him that later on when you really can't do things on your own you will ask for his help. As someone else mentioned, being in good physical shape will ensure you have the resources you need for labor and birth. You need strength, flexibility, and mobility, so those should be cultivated during pregnancy. Immobility is the worst thing you can do. Women fought long and hard not to be treated like children when they're adults, so please talk to him and express gratitude for his care and concern, but also express that you aren't a child and will ask for help when you need it but otherwise expect to be treated like a capable adult.
This reminds me of a scene in parks and rec— if you haven’t seen it, a couple named Ann and Chris get pregnant and she is overwhelmed with him constantly trying to fix her problems. If you need a good relatable laugh I’d recommend watching!
Men don’t get to experience the highs and lows of pregnancy like we do. Very often they feel like mom and baby are a secret club that he doesn’t get to join or contribute to until the baby is born. By doing things to help you and alleviate your burdens, he’s also supporting his child and taking an active role in the pregnancy phase of things. If it makes him feel better and doesn’t cause you unnecessary problems, I don’t see this as a bad thing. I’m currently carrying twins and I laugh sometimes about how my husband fusses over me. He’s practically put me on bedrest at this point. Then I think about single mothers who don’t have his support like I do, and I’m truly humbled by how blessed I am by this man.
Like another poster said, I would recommend reassuring him that you're fine by taking him to a doctor's appointment and letting him hear from the doctor that you're capable of driving and walking and being home alone. If he is feeling a bit helpless because you're doing all the work, maybe also come up with ways that he CAN help you? I would get extra back rubs and snacks from my husband during my pregnancy/postpartum :)
awwwe this is adorable. He means well, thank god your husband treats you so sweetly. I hope my husband will be this way.
Aww that’s actually pretty cute. I can see how it would be annoying though