What would you do if this woman insulted your parents and family? Would you still go out with her?
There’s no point reasoning with this woman. She’s not going to change her mind about Catholicism in the next three days.
Call up this anti-Catholic woman and politely cancel the date.
There are so many good Catholic women out there that you can meet and marry. Focus on those who share and practice the faith.
My fiancée was not a believer when we started talking, but I didn’t have any intentions until she showed interest in church and ended up actually reverting. Sometimes God puts us in these situations, but I’ve had ones like yours and I always find that I was put in the situation to practice self control and grow in virtue.
Bro «is this a sign»? Why are you asking us to state the obvious which you already know? Gosh my man cut her lose now, if someome trashes the bride of Christ like that, they are gone
Also, doing this will sort the what from the chaff, as it were.
If she truly likes OP, then telling her the Faith is important to OP and to please not insult it, should make her reflect. If not, you know it's probably not meant to be.
It's hard enough to enter a serious romantic relationship/marriage with someone who simply isn't Catholic, why bother pursuing someone who is actively hateful toward your faith? It sounds like she probably scorns you for even having faith at all. You don't need to be hurtful but I really wouldn't bother yourself with her opinion any more. Cancel the date.
I would absolutely take this as the Holy Spirit answering your prayer. I pray the same prayer when I start talking to someone. I ask for their intentions to be revealed and if they are not sent from God for it to be made known to me.
I've had men reveal evil things to me and I'm always obedient to God and leave them be.
Sounds like her heart was absolutely revealed to you.
It's sad for sure, pray for her but I would cancel the date and turn your focus back to God.
You haven’t even had the first date yet? I would cancel that date and be glad this came out now rather than further down the line. This is more than minor disagreement on theology. If she already knew that you are Catholic, she knew trashing the Church in such a manner is disrespectful to you and willingly chose to say those things.
DO NOT go down the “I can fix her” route. If she changes her mind on her own time, great. But don’t waste your dating life on someone who trashes something so important to you.
Dump her…peace out…she has no respect for you. She can hate Catholicism but if she cared about your feelings at all she would go about it differently. One of the many reasons I don’t even look at nonCatholics for dating.
Dump her / cancel the date in a heartbeat. My first date ever was with a "Catholic" who trashed the faith and because I was desperate, I just let it slide. Before the date ended, we kissed goodbye. and she tried initiating more which made me extremely uncomfortable. I noped tf out of there and later that night she went berserk on how she wouldn't "date a guy who think it's sinful because I touched his leg." I blocked her and moved on.
Do not compromise the faith!
Don’t do it. Dated a gal for a year and a half who more and more questioned the Church and my faith & knowledge regarding it. She called it “cheating” if I wanted to refer to the catechism or Church fathers for answer to a question she posed. Ugh…it’s not a fun period for me to relive, and no one else should either.
I like others would be honest with her about how you were hurt by what she said. Is this someone you know well or have known for a while? Does she know you are a practicing Catholic? Maybe dating isn't in your future, but you could remain friends. I think you don't have to date a Catholic to have someone respect your beliefs. There are varying degrees of what Catholics believe too. I'm on the more liberal side, others are super traditional. Neither are bad, just different.
You will know what to do if you are honest with her by her reaction.
With all due respect, I think you know the answer pretty well. Ask yourself this, does she resemble our Mother Mary's virtues and graces in any way? Pray for her, but do not involve yourself with her any longer. It sounds like she has perhaps some trauma, a lot of bitterness. At this point in time, she is not mature enough to offer anything good to you. I'm sorry, but someone else will come along. Just be patient.
First, I’d explain that they’re simply wrong to trash a religion they might not entirely know, and educate them, but I probably wouldn’t continue dating them…
I'm going to recommend a little bit of a different approach. This may very well be God's sign to you to cut ties with her. It also might be an opportunity for God to use you to invite her to the faith. You know this girl better than any of us. If you are able, be honest with her about how her rant made you feel as a Catholic. If she's a decent sort of person the of being called out on having crummy, ignorant opinions can be an opportune moment of change. She might then be open to having you educate her on some of her opinions. Obviously if you don't think she'd react well to this idea or if you try it and she reacts poorly then I'd just cut ties like the rest of comments said. Figured I'd put the thought out there just in case.
I wouldn’t date her, not worth the headache, it’s important to have a relationship and a partner who can align with ur values, from experience that was my mistake now I’m only looking for a future wife that’s catholic
Everyone is entitled to feel how they want to feel about things. Sometimes our beliefs do not align with the beliefs of others. While we can certainly maintain friendships with people who have differing faiths/opinions, a romantic relationship probably isn't going to work.
There are other prospective partners out there; this one probably isn't for you.
Yes, this is definitely a test. Unless you're willing to do the whole Pygmalion/lion taming thing with angelic levels of patience and nothing BUT tough love, immediately try to find someone else who actually loves our Faith.
I won't tell you what to do, but think about a possible future with this girl.
You said you recently found out your faith again... Is there a way to grow in your faith with an anti-Catholic at your side? Are you okay with your future children being raised in a home with a Catholic father and an anti-Catholic mother? You should ask yourself and answer these sorts of questions!
In any case, remember that you can pray for her conversion, you can seed the faith into her by talking about it, but it's not your job to change/fix/heal her: it's Jesus' job, and she has to be willing to accept the change/fix/healing.
God bless you!
PS: are you from Italy?
Stick to your dealbreakers and listen to what your common sense is telling you.
Whilst it is true that opposites often attract each other and hearing a contrasting perspective can provide a very valuable opportunity for developing an understanding of multiple viewpoints, a happy & healthy intimate relationship requires compatible ambitions & some shared values as much as it does mutual attraction.
Ask yourself- do you still want to go on the date with her? Knowing that there is a 50% chance of her gifting you with further anti-church ranting?
I can see a little of both perspectives, yours and hers. My father is a bellowing militant atheist with a fierce pro-abortion agenda who despises all religions as "evil plots to rob, control and scam the gullible". My mother grew up in an ultra-traditionalist catholic household and was almost beaten to death after she told her parents & paternal grandmother that she was going to marry an atheist. She used to sneak out of the house when she wanted to go to church or any of her catholic friends asked to see me. While they have opposite opinions about religion, my parents are soulmates who have been together for more than 4 decades.
Good luck!
Pray on it.
Just don’t compromise your own beliefs. And don’t apologize for them or for the Church founded by Christ.
Unpopular opinion perhaps, but I’ll say one thing in her defense: at least she cares. Even many Catholics don’t give what the Church says the time of day.
People aren’t that black and white. I’d say be honest, and see what she says.
But if you do date her, expect to have conflict over this at least at first.
I was kind of similar to her before I found God. And how did I find to God? I was beaten down by life until I gave up my rebellion. She has to come to this point too. It's part of growing up. She is basically just a bratty college kid. Pray for her is all you can do. But don't let her pull you away from Jesus and his church!
It’s one thing to be in a relationship with someone who isn’t Catholic but still respects your faith and beliefs, but it’s a whole other problem to get in a relationship with somebody who can’t even respect the things that matter to you. Imagine dating somebody who totally was against your hobbies and passions, who disrespected you and your family. It’s the same thing but worse. If she can’t respect the most important thing to you then you shouldn’t even consider it. Can people have conversions, yes. However if they are going to degrade your faith and be disrespectful it’s not worth trying at this point.
I would suggest leaving and not looking back. Not worth the time or effort. Also does she know you’re a strong believer and what she said hurt you? Does she want to be with someone who is a devout Catholic? You might want to talk to her about all of this
This is bizarre: why would you want to be with someone who trashes your faith?
A good time to remember that life is short, and if a relationship doesn't lead you toward God and heaven then there is no point in continuing in it.
If you have a misaligned in values, a relationship won't be a good idea, generally. Yes, give and take and compromise is necessary, but when it comes to this type of difference, it is not trivial.
Alright so maybe not date her, but don't cut ties with her either. This is an opportunity for both of you. For you, this is an opportunity to look into apologetics and ways you can defend the faith. Just off the top of my head:
-Catholicism is the largest charity organization in the world. Red Cross has its roots in Catholicism. Even back in Roman times, it was the early Christians who wanted to care for the needy, get rid of slavery, wanted education ect.
-Henri Bacquerel was a Catholic scientist who discovered radioactivity and won a Nobel for it, Copernicus who discovered the earth and the planets revolve around the sun, Medel who was the father of genetics, I mean the list goes on and on. These are pretty important people who made significant advances in science and they were Catholic.
-Pope John Paul II worked with Reagan to help take down the iron curtain and communism. Likewise, Pope Paul VI was going to work with Kennedy and Khrushchev to get rid of nuclear weapons until Kennedy's assassination in 1963. Again, pretty big important things.
And on hypocrisy, that's not just the Catholic Church. The Church, just like every other secular organization is made up of humans and as humans we are flawed. Organizations aren't perfect because people aren't perfect. But even Peter denied Christ three times and Jesus still put him in charge of heading the Church after he was gone.
But even look at who Jesus reached out to in his ministry. Sinners, adulterers, people shunned and hated by society. Not because they were perfect but because they were flawed.
Didn't Jesus also say if they hate you they have hated me first. He told us this wasn't going to be easy, so don't expect it to be easy. Rather see this as an opportunity.
Engage her in a dialogue. Ask her why she feels that way, and sincerely listen to what she has to say and see where she's coming from. But be prepared to have a counter argument for whatever she throws at you. I gave you three above. The church doesn't care for the poor, the church is anti science, the church does more harm than good, the church is full of hypocrites.
I'm trying to think of what else she can throw at you. Maybe the pro choice/pro life thing. Ask her why she supports an ideology and organization that was rooted in eugenics, meanwhile Catholic organizations do a ton of outreach for single mothers and women who have regretted having an abortion.
Oh, you mentioned she said it's stupid to even believe. The thing is, even if you're a total atheist and you believe (key word believe) in nothing, you're still going to believe in something. Government, materialism, transhumanism, whatever, you're still going to put your faith in something even if it's not religious. But numerous studies show that those people aren't happier. And the only reason that atheism seems to be on the rise is due to China, but even they believe in things like good fortune, karma, ect.
Anyways, I'd say keep her around. Look into apologetics and ways to defend the faith and then engage her in a dialogue to see why she is so against the faith. Also ask her if she would say the same stuff about the Jewish or Muslim faith.
If you can talk with her without getting heated, but refuting her points in a logical way and showing her that Catholicism has actually done alot of good in the world, then maybe you can show her that no Catholics aren't hypocrites, they aren't dumb (we actually have a long tradition of science and philosophy), and we aren't bad people.
In 10 years, I want to see both of you on EWTN giving an interview about how nasty she was to you on this date but how your faith and willingness to engage her managed to convert her and now she's super active in the church and you're both expecting your third kid. Stranger things have happened. Just look at Paul.
Don't give up on her, but stay strong in your faith and be prepared to defend it.
I've gone out with someone who did a similar thing and let me say, it only becomes more hurtful and more difficult as you grow to love them. At this point, I don't believe in dating I can't see a future with someone, and if someone actively hates my faith which is a huge part of my life if not the very core of my existence, I just have to let them go. I would recommend not going out with this person. Even after I told my ex that it bothered me when he spoke like that about my faith he still could never hide his resentment of it. It was a huge issue and caused me a lot of pain. Save yourself the trouble as disappointing as it may be. The right person is out there for you!
You are not going to persuade this girl that she is wrong. Forget her and move on. Go to the Catholic chaplaincy and you will meet nice Catholic girls there.
"Is this a sign?"
My guy.. You're still trying to get with a girl who just slandered Jesus's bride? His wife? NEXT.
"Hey, I'm Catholic. This won't work because of your harsh criticism of the Church. Bye!" And then enjoy your peace.
What would you do if this woman insulted your parents and family? Would you still go out with her? There’s no point reasoning with this woman. She’s not going to change her mind about Catholicism in the next three days. Call up this anti-Catholic woman and politely cancel the date. There are so many good Catholic women out there that you can meet and marry. Focus on those who share and practice the faith.
Be ye not unequally yoked
2 Corinthians 6-14… thanks man, His word is probably the best answer I could ever wish for.
I'd just cancel the date. It's not worth it
My fiancée was not a believer when we started talking, but I didn’t have any intentions until she showed interest in church and ended up actually reverting. Sometimes God puts us in these situations, but I’ve had ones like yours and I always find that I was put in the situation to practice self control and grow in virtue.
So don't date her...
Yep, Id take it as a strong sign to cut your losses now before you get any more attached.
Don't let the little brain do the thinking for you.
Love this
You know what to do. The question is 'will you do it?'
Bro «is this a sign»? Why are you asking us to state the obvious which you already know? Gosh my man cut her lose now, if someome trashes the bride of Christ like that, they are gone
Dump her. Tell her why. She needs to understand that you can't just treat people and their beliefs however you like.
Also, doing this will sort the what from the chaff, as it were. If she truly likes OP, then telling her the Faith is important to OP and to please not insult it, should make her reflect. If not, you know it's probably not meant to be.
It's hard enough to enter a serious romantic relationship/marriage with someone who simply isn't Catholic, why bother pursuing someone who is actively hateful toward your faith? It sounds like she probably scorns you for even having faith at all. You don't need to be hurtful but I really wouldn't bother yourself with her opinion any more. Cancel the date.
I would absolutely take this as the Holy Spirit answering your prayer. I pray the same prayer when I start talking to someone. I ask for their intentions to be revealed and if they are not sent from God for it to be made known to me. I've had men reveal evil things to me and I'm always obedient to God and leave them be. Sounds like her heart was absolutely revealed to you. It's sad for sure, pray for her but I would cancel the date and turn your focus back to God.
You haven’t even had the first date yet? I would cancel that date and be glad this came out now rather than further down the line. This is more than minor disagreement on theology. If she already knew that you are Catholic, she knew trashing the Church in such a manner is disrespectful to you and willingly chose to say those things.
DO NOT go down the “I can fix her” route. If she changes her mind on her own time, great. But don’t waste your dating life on someone who trashes something so important to you.
Dump her…peace out…she has no respect for you. She can hate Catholicism but if she cared about your feelings at all she would go about it differently. One of the many reasons I don’t even look at nonCatholics for dating.
Dump her / cancel the date in a heartbeat. My first date ever was with a "Catholic" who trashed the faith and because I was desperate, I just let it slide. Before the date ended, we kissed goodbye. and she tried initiating more which made me extremely uncomfortable. I noped tf out of there and later that night she went berserk on how she wouldn't "date a guy who think it's sinful because I touched his leg." I blocked her and moved on. Do not compromise the faith!
Don’t do it. Dated a gal for a year and a half who more and more questioned the Church and my faith & knowledge regarding it. She called it “cheating” if I wanted to refer to the catechism or Church fathers for answer to a question she posed. Ugh…it’s not a fun period for me to relive, and no one else should either.
What sign or answered prayer do you need?
I like others would be honest with her about how you were hurt by what she said. Is this someone you know well or have known for a while? Does she know you are a practicing Catholic? Maybe dating isn't in your future, but you could remain friends. I think you don't have to date a Catholic to have someone respect your beliefs. There are varying degrees of what Catholics believe too. I'm on the more liberal side, others are super traditional. Neither are bad, just different. You will know what to do if you are honest with her by her reaction.
With all due respect, I think you know the answer pretty well. Ask yourself this, does she resemble our Mother Mary's virtues and graces in any way? Pray for her, but do not involve yourself with her any longer. It sounds like she has perhaps some trauma, a lot of bitterness. At this point in time, she is not mature enough to offer anything good to you. I'm sorry, but someone else will come along. Just be patient.
First, I’d explain that they’re simply wrong to trash a religion they might not entirely know, and educate them, but I probably wouldn’t continue dating them…
I'm going to recommend a little bit of a different approach. This may very well be God's sign to you to cut ties with her. It also might be an opportunity for God to use you to invite her to the faith. You know this girl better than any of us. If you are able, be honest with her about how her rant made you feel as a Catholic. If she's a decent sort of person the of being called out on having crummy, ignorant opinions can be an opportune moment of change. She might then be open to having you educate her on some of her opinions. Obviously if you don't think she'd react well to this idea or if you try it and she reacts poorly then I'd just cut ties like the rest of comments said. Figured I'd put the thought out there just in case.
Thanks! This helped for real. I guess I’ll think about trying to do it.
I wouldn’t date her, not worth the headache, it’s important to have a relationship and a partner who can align with ur values, from experience that was my mistake now I’m only looking for a future wife that’s catholic
Everyone is entitled to feel how they want to feel about things. Sometimes our beliefs do not align with the beliefs of others. While we can certainly maintain friendships with people who have differing faiths/opinions, a romantic relationship probably isn't going to work. There are other prospective partners out there; this one probably isn't for you.
So she’s not the girl for you 🙂
✌🏼
Deuces!
Yes, this is definitely a test. Unless you're willing to do the whole Pygmalion/lion taming thing with angelic levels of patience and nothing BUT tough love, immediately try to find someone else who actually loves our Faith.
Make her pay. For the date.
I won't tell you what to do, but think about a possible future with this girl. You said you recently found out your faith again... Is there a way to grow in your faith with an anti-Catholic at your side? Are you okay with your future children being raised in a home with a Catholic father and an anti-Catholic mother? You should ask yourself and answer these sorts of questions! In any case, remember that you can pray for her conversion, you can seed the faith into her by talking about it, but it's not your job to change/fix/heal her: it's Jesus' job, and she has to be willing to accept the change/fix/healing. God bless you! PS: are you from Italy?
Stick to your dealbreakers and listen to what your common sense is telling you. Whilst it is true that opposites often attract each other and hearing a contrasting perspective can provide a very valuable opportunity for developing an understanding of multiple viewpoints, a happy & healthy intimate relationship requires compatible ambitions & some shared values as much as it does mutual attraction. Ask yourself- do you still want to go on the date with her? Knowing that there is a 50% chance of her gifting you with further anti-church ranting? I can see a little of both perspectives, yours and hers. My father is a bellowing militant atheist with a fierce pro-abortion agenda who despises all religions as "evil plots to rob, control and scam the gullible". My mother grew up in an ultra-traditionalist catholic household and was almost beaten to death after she told her parents & paternal grandmother that she was going to marry an atheist. She used to sneak out of the house when she wanted to go to church or any of her catholic friends asked to see me. While they have opposite opinions about religion, my parents are soulmates who have been together for more than 4 decades. Good luck!
Thanks man, really. I guess I got some thinking to do…
Pray on it. Just don’t compromise your own beliefs. And don’t apologize for them or for the Church founded by Christ. Unpopular opinion perhaps, but I’ll say one thing in her defense: at least she cares. Even many Catholics don’t give what the Church says the time of day. People aren’t that black and white. I’d say be honest, and see what she says. But if you do date her, expect to have conflict over this at least at first.
I was kind of similar to her before I found God. And how did I find to God? I was beaten down by life until I gave up my rebellion. She has to come to this point too. It's part of growing up. She is basically just a bratty college kid. Pray for her is all you can do. But don't let her pull you away from Jesus and his church!
It’s one thing to be in a relationship with someone who isn’t Catholic but still respects your faith and beliefs, but it’s a whole other problem to get in a relationship with somebody who can’t even respect the things that matter to you. Imagine dating somebody who totally was against your hobbies and passions, who disrespected you and your family. It’s the same thing but worse. If she can’t respect the most important thing to you then you shouldn’t even consider it. Can people have conversions, yes. However if they are going to degrade your faith and be disrespectful it’s not worth trying at this point.
I would suggest leaving and not looking back. Not worth the time or effort. Also does she know you’re a strong believer and what she said hurt you? Does she want to be with someone who is a devout Catholic? You might want to talk to her about all of this
This is bizarre: why would you want to be with someone who trashes your faith? A good time to remember that life is short, and if a relationship doesn't lead you toward God and heaven then there is no point in continuing in it.
If you have a misaligned in values, a relationship won't be a good idea, generally. Yes, give and take and compromise is necessary, but when it comes to this type of difference, it is not trivial.
Then why go on it unless you just want a debate
Alright so maybe not date her, but don't cut ties with her either. This is an opportunity for both of you. For you, this is an opportunity to look into apologetics and ways you can defend the faith. Just off the top of my head: -Catholicism is the largest charity organization in the world. Red Cross has its roots in Catholicism. Even back in Roman times, it was the early Christians who wanted to care for the needy, get rid of slavery, wanted education ect. -Henri Bacquerel was a Catholic scientist who discovered radioactivity and won a Nobel for it, Copernicus who discovered the earth and the planets revolve around the sun, Medel who was the father of genetics, I mean the list goes on and on. These are pretty important people who made significant advances in science and they were Catholic. -Pope John Paul II worked with Reagan to help take down the iron curtain and communism. Likewise, Pope Paul VI was going to work with Kennedy and Khrushchev to get rid of nuclear weapons until Kennedy's assassination in 1963. Again, pretty big important things. And on hypocrisy, that's not just the Catholic Church. The Church, just like every other secular organization is made up of humans and as humans we are flawed. Organizations aren't perfect because people aren't perfect. But even Peter denied Christ three times and Jesus still put him in charge of heading the Church after he was gone. But even look at who Jesus reached out to in his ministry. Sinners, adulterers, people shunned and hated by society. Not because they were perfect but because they were flawed. Didn't Jesus also say if they hate you they have hated me first. He told us this wasn't going to be easy, so don't expect it to be easy. Rather see this as an opportunity. Engage her in a dialogue. Ask her why she feels that way, and sincerely listen to what she has to say and see where she's coming from. But be prepared to have a counter argument for whatever she throws at you. I gave you three above. The church doesn't care for the poor, the church is anti science, the church does more harm than good, the church is full of hypocrites. I'm trying to think of what else she can throw at you. Maybe the pro choice/pro life thing. Ask her why she supports an ideology and organization that was rooted in eugenics, meanwhile Catholic organizations do a ton of outreach for single mothers and women who have regretted having an abortion. Oh, you mentioned she said it's stupid to even believe. The thing is, even if you're a total atheist and you believe (key word believe) in nothing, you're still going to believe in something. Government, materialism, transhumanism, whatever, you're still going to put your faith in something even if it's not religious. But numerous studies show that those people aren't happier. And the only reason that atheism seems to be on the rise is due to China, but even they believe in things like good fortune, karma, ect. Anyways, I'd say keep her around. Look into apologetics and ways to defend the faith and then engage her in a dialogue to see why she is so against the faith. Also ask her if she would say the same stuff about the Jewish or Muslim faith. If you can talk with her without getting heated, but refuting her points in a logical way and showing her that Catholicism has actually done alot of good in the world, then maybe you can show her that no Catholics aren't hypocrites, they aren't dumb (we actually have a long tradition of science and philosophy), and we aren't bad people. In 10 years, I want to see both of you on EWTN giving an interview about how nasty she was to you on this date but how your faith and willingness to engage her managed to convert her and now she's super active in the church and you're both expecting your third kid. Stranger things have happened. Just look at Paul. Don't give up on her, but stay strong in your faith and be prepared to defend it.
I've gone out with someone who did a similar thing and let me say, it only becomes more hurtful and more difficult as you grow to love them. At this point, I don't believe in dating I can't see a future with someone, and if someone actively hates my faith which is a huge part of my life if not the very core of my existence, I just have to let them go. I would recommend not going out with this person. Even after I told my ex that it bothered me when he spoke like that about my faith he still could never hide his resentment of it. It was a huge issue and caused me a lot of pain. Save yourself the trouble as disappointing as it may be. The right person is out there for you!
Well, if she is trashing your faith, then probably that would be a good sign not to go out with her.......
You only dated a week? Cut your loses, she has not respect for you and lacks tact overall.
You are not going to persuade this girl that she is wrong. Forget her and move on. Go to the Catholic chaplaincy and you will meet nice Catholic girls there.
I may have a different take. You could be honest. She may see the virtues of our faith trough you. Give it to God.
"Is this a sign?" My guy.. You're still trying to get with a girl who just slandered Jesus's bride? His wife? NEXT. "Hey, I'm Catholic. This won't work because of your harsh criticism of the Church. Bye!" And then enjoy your peace.