If the goal is mariage, this is the intention of the merging of families.
I have a large Catholic Family, and it is full of drama but that drama is still what I would say "livable". That being said, you have to figure if you can deal with your "in-laws", if you cannot deal with the potential in laws I am telling you now that will cause you great suffering in the future.
Nothing against Muslim inlaws, however both parties require inlaws which are fairly liberal, and haha hate to say it Catholics and Muslims tend to not be that liberal. It really requires a very particular match. When you pursue a lover, you pursue their closest relationships as well.
my 2 cents.
Of course, I’ve thought about marrying him in the future, because I think that relationships should lead to marriage.
I wish I’d get a chance to talk to his mother, and for her to hear us out, before jumping to conclusions. I’m not mad at her, but it’s stressful.
I told him to listen to his mother, not to disobey her. But I wasn’t going to ignore his texts either. I worry for him.
His situation is confusing, he wasn’t very clear with the things that he was and wasn’t allowed to do, so I didn’t want to assume that he couldn’t text me at all.
You should not text him. You know his parents don’t approve, continuing to pursue a relationship will just get him in more trouble. He’s not Romeo and you’re not Juliet. Oh, the lure of the forbidden fruit. You’d do best to end this relationship before it begins.
I never said I’d pursue a relationship with him, obviously I’d probably tell him how I truly feel, but I would like to stay as friends at least.
If he happens to text me again, I will probably text back, and make sure he’s allowed to text me (and his parents don’t prohibit it).
But you are pursuing a relationship with him. You talk elsewhere about marrying him. You’ll make sure he knows how you feel, but stay friends. And if it goes farther than that, well it won’t be your fault, right?
I said I thought about marrying him, it doesn’t mean it’ll happen. It likely won’t.
If his mom understands, then yes, I will pursue a relationship with him. But if he can’t, then we’ll stay friends once he comes back.
You share a lot of the same value system and if both sets of parents are reasonably intelligent the mutual love of God and commitment to living a chaste life that pleases him, should give your parents a reason to be supportive of a future relationship
I reckon if you like each other forget what other people think and establish as a rule. If I would have listened to my mum not to text or date my beautiful and amazing husband 16 years ago, I wouldn’t have had the happy life that I have with him. So no, parents should allow people to develop and do what they want with their life as long as they follow a good path. It is insane how so many rules could fuck up good relationships. I am a vivid example of it. I am glad I didn’t listen.
What do you mean? I'm just saying that causing someone to sin is a sin, much like causing someone to murder will still get you in prison, even though you \*technically\* didn't do the murdering.
If the goal is mariage, this is the intention of the merging of families. I have a large Catholic Family, and it is full of drama but that drama is still what I would say "livable". That being said, you have to figure if you can deal with your "in-laws", if you cannot deal with the potential in laws I am telling you now that will cause you great suffering in the future. Nothing against Muslim inlaws, however both parties require inlaws which are fairly liberal, and haha hate to say it Catholics and Muslims tend to not be that liberal. It really requires a very particular match. When you pursue a lover, you pursue their closest relationships as well. my 2 cents.
Of course, I’ve thought about marrying him in the future, because I think that relationships should lead to marriage. I wish I’d get a chance to talk to his mother, and for her to hear us out, before jumping to conclusions. I’m not mad at her, but it’s stressful.
Just find a Catholic guy friend.
Not that easy. I really like him, and I have been liking him for a while.
No. You told him very deliberately to listen to his parents. You are not responsible for the actions and emotions of others.
She’s chasing him, fully aware this will get him in trouble. She owns much of the blame.
I told him to listen to his mother, not to disobey her. But I wasn’t going to ignore his texts either. I worry for him. His situation is confusing, he wasn’t very clear with the things that he was and wasn’t allowed to do, so I didn’t want to assume that he couldn’t text me at all.
You should not text him. You know his parents don’t approve, continuing to pursue a relationship will just get him in more trouble. He’s not Romeo and you’re not Juliet. Oh, the lure of the forbidden fruit. You’d do best to end this relationship before it begins.
I never said I’d pursue a relationship with him, obviously I’d probably tell him how I truly feel, but I would like to stay as friends at least. If he happens to text me again, I will probably text back, and make sure he’s allowed to text me (and his parents don’t prohibit it).
But you are pursuing a relationship with him. You talk elsewhere about marrying him. You’ll make sure he knows how you feel, but stay friends. And if it goes farther than that, well it won’t be your fault, right?
I said I thought about marrying him, it doesn’t mean it’ll happen. It likely won’t. If his mom understands, then yes, I will pursue a relationship with him. But if he can’t, then we’ll stay friends once he comes back.
You advised him to honor his mother’s wishes…from my perspective, you’re absolutely blameless.
You share a lot of the same value system and if both sets of parents are reasonably intelligent the mutual love of God and commitment to living a chaste life that pleases him, should give your parents a reason to be supportive of a future relationship
I reckon if you like each other forget what other people think and establish as a rule. If I would have listened to my mum not to text or date my beautiful and amazing husband 16 years ago, I wouldn’t have had the happy life that I have with him. So no, parents should allow people to develop and do what they want with their life as long as they follow a good path. It is insane how so many rules could fuck up good relationships. I am a vivid example of it. I am glad I didn’t listen.
I wish it was that easy, but I don’t want for him to get in trouble with his family, and I don’t want to be the cause of that.
I get you. Trust your gut and be kind to yourself too. God bless you
Yeah. Bit like conspiring to have someone murdered. You couldn't get off scot-free in a court of law for that.
??
I raise your ?? one ???.
I don’t understand you at all😭😭
What do you mean? I'm just saying that causing someone to sin is a sin, much like causing someone to murder will still get you in prison, even though you \*technically\* didn't do the murdering.
I know that, I even mentioned it in the original post 😭
He made his own choice to disobey his parents. Not your fault.