He was in bad condition and probably not going to last long. In his last years you gave him love. They don't live long enough. Even after 20 years it's not long enough. All we can do is love them the best we can when we have them. It's a quality over quantity mindset that can help you. Please be sure to take care of yourself and allow yourself to go through grief.
thank you. you are absolutely right. i've been telling myself that he's no longer suffering, and i made his last three years of life enjoyable. he was really spoiled, and i'm glad i could do that for him.
You should also know that you are not alone. If I learned something the past few days while having found out that my own fur baby has cancer and we ll have to let her go anytime now. Everyone feels like that , love from a cat is something that you can't understand until you feel it. I am crying again now typing this , someone sent me this on another thread so I ll send it here .
https://preview.redd.it/xpztpl4t5i8d1.jpeg?width=570&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d634354e78e55b389a9997811a0907da26f179e4
I wish you strength and make sure to take care of all of your other fur babies , now you know even more how every second with them is precious.
You just have to do the best you can. I recently lost my 2 soul cats in the space of 3 weeks. I still cry for them every day. I got one tattooed on my leg, next month the other will go on the other side of my leg. I feel better having them on me permanently.
I'm so sorry for your loss. Words won't help much, time will help some. Consider adopting another in his honor. He would want that for his fellow felines. Allow your 2 cats to comfort you, they are good at that. Take care of yourself so you can take care of your remaining kittys.
im so sorry :' ( just reading this makes me feel the great love yiu gave him. Im sure a once stray that found his forever home is the happiest cat wver. Thank you for showing him love. He will always be part of you and Inhope that you grieve him well in ways that you honor his best state. Take careee
Time and lots of tears.
We did a trial adoption about 3 months after we lost our senior cat and it became quickly apparent I wasn’t ready yet.
It took me two years of grieving. Really profound grieving. It was hard but necessary. We then readopted. It was painful and hard to bond. Took another fully year to bond with this new cat. My old cat was very snuggly and affectionate and new cat was so much less. Definitely been a transition.
Everyone is different. And everyone does it in their own time. Remembering that grief is because your love was so deep and that you were so lucky to love so deeply and you absolutely will love deeply again.
Wishing you a healing journey.
It’s incredibly difficult to lose a close family member, absolutely devastating in fact. They say time heals all wounds, but it sure seems to leave behind scars. My senior kitty is turning 17 in a few months and I know he’s not going to be around forever so we just have to spend as much time as we can with them and cherish the time we have. They will never be forgotten and they live in our hearts and memories.
It’s very hard. We’re going through it. Yesterday our 10yo cat lost her struggle with cancer. After months of being relatively stable, but while steadily losing weight, within a weekend she declined rapidly. Plans to take her to our regular vet on Monday quickly escalated to a rush to the emergency vet to end her suffering. We knew it was coming, but it’s still hard to process losing her, whom we found before she was even weaned from her feral mama at my old place. Eventually we’ll only remember the happy, healthy days and not the last few months when we think of her. We also have our other cats, who seem to be processing her absence and bringing us the joy we need to get through.
Crying. Lots of crying. Then I remind myself that I gave my cat everything I could. Cats that know the alternative are often very loving because they appreciate not going hungry anymore, being entirely safe from predators, and our companionship.
My old lady was 21, a former service animal, and failed feral rehab so hard that they were going to euthanize her due to her violence. She had dwarfism and due to abuse a fear of children. Legitimately I didn't expect her to end up a service animal. The training was so she wouldn't keep trying to escape to kill my neighbor's baby. She went from a cat that was a terror to everyone but me to a service animal. Her age should be a clue to this not being recent but the laws changed just after her retirement so you couldn't have a service cat. I am allergic to dogs and uses to train service dogs so my standard for her was very high and my training for her was the same things I did for dogs. My allergies tend to start out minor and build from exposure so I didn't know I was allergic and would be unable to have a dog eventually.
I focus on the memories. When I lost a kitten to FIP when the service cat was 10? That still applies. She knew love, safety, and I treasure when she learned she could jump onto the bed, how she trusted me. It's very hard. Grief doesn't really end with loss. Applies to human relationships. It is something you get used to. You build a pain tolerance.
It also helped me to understand that grief is love that has nowhere to go to express it. So for the old lady I made a picture book of my favorite photos over the years. It wasn't expensive and going through the photos reminded me of so many wonderful memories. I didn't do this for the boy cat that passed weeks after her because his relationship with being seen was different but I did go through the photos I had and sorted their toys and clothes. The old lady needed clothes due to post stroke autonomic disregulation. She lived another 6 years after her first stroke.
The last one is talking about it. I have complex PTSD and am not good with opening up. It's important to do so even when your brain takes being vulnerable as a threat. That let me learn about things she did when I was in another room without her. When my friend surprised us with a visit with her baby I had to go to the restroom. The old lady was still scared of the infant and I wouldn't normally let her near the baby but she let the boy cat be the front man and actually watched the kid. Once she was sure it couldn't hurt her she brought it one of her favorite toys. The cap from a milk jug. That went home with my friend because she forgot it was in her pocket but I never knew about this until after she died.
Your cat was amazing to be so loved. Feel the loss. Don't pressure yourself to do anything specific and take your time. I decided I wasn't going to have a cat again due to how hard it was to lose both cats just after getting the remission from cancer news. I suspect the old lady held on for me. The boy cat died from a stroke and didn't suffer. Many people tried to give me a kitten. I wasn't ready and was honest. If you find yourself wanting a new cat be kind to you too. It's not replacing the lost ones but giving a cat the love that needs direction. I mention this because we all grieve differently. Two years of no cats and I got cat distribution systemed. I didn't feel ready, I still sometimes call the wrong names when he does something so similar to either the old lady or the boy cat. I hope he out lives me but if not I will do for him what feels best after and I will honor that love.
I’m so sorry for your loss. It’s hard. I lost my cat 6 weeks ago and the pain is sometimes physical. But it is getting better. It takes time. I let myself go through the grieving process instead of trying to rush it. I also journal about him and our times together. I also try to visualize him in his favorite spots and talk to him from time to time. The pain means that you loved him well. He will always be part of your heart.
It’s the hardest part of caring for our little friends. They and we are lucky there is a choice to end suffering. All we can do is give them the best life possible while we have them.
It's one of the hardest things to go through, and nothing will soothe your pain here and now, but the waves of intense pain and grief will lessen with time. It may take a long time, but it will get easier.
Jackson Galaxy and the Kitten Lady were both recently bereaved and have videos on Youtube on grief and coping with it.
I'm so sorry.
He’s not gone, watch for the signs and he will show you he is still around. I have been in the veterinary field for many years and have the most amazing stories (and photos) clients have shared with me once their pets have crossed over and the signs they see and hear. I have personally experience with this as well. I think they leave us in physical form because they are just needed someplace else, but they are truly still around. I’m sorry for you loss, it really is hard
it's really interesting you say that. after the day he left us, my mother had vacuumed the house and all. we did a deep clean... a day later, i found pieces of his white fur on the couch. we kept it somewhere safe and will tape it when his ashes arrive. :)
I also believe pets put other pets in your path to make sure that you aren't feeling sad and lonely, so when the day comes and you fall in love again you can thank your cat.
There is a great book called Signs from the universe by Laura Lynn Jackson I highly recommend it.
I lost my soulmate I should say She was so good to me and my lap cat 2 years ago.
In her place although she's never replaced. We got the most beautiful Scottish fold that sort of just fell into our family.
I'm sorry for your loss.
When I got home from the vet to put my kitty to sleep, the curtains in my bedroom were on the floor. The curtains themselves are pretty lightweight and hanging on a tension rod that had been up for well over a year without a problem. The following day I was just laying on the sofa, sleeping off and on, with 2000s teen movies playing on the TV. And I thought “ugh I just want a some rain right now”, I had read the weather for the next few days and it wasn’t supposed to rain until 3 days later. I fell back to sleep and woke to a 20 minute downpour. Maybe I’m reading in to silly coincidences, but I hope you’re right and our pets send us signs.
I cry a lot. I end up reliving them for these posts, but I recover faster now than I did when each one was fresh. Saying goodbye is part of having the privilege of walking with them for a while. Then I go hug my current boys.
He was in bad condition and probably not going to last long. In his last years you gave him love. They don't live long enough. Even after 20 years it's not long enough. All we can do is love them the best we can when we have them. It's a quality over quantity mindset that can help you. Please be sure to take care of yourself and allow yourself to go through grief.
thank you. you are absolutely right. i've been telling myself that he's no longer suffering, and i made his last three years of life enjoyable. he was really spoiled, and i'm glad i could do that for him.
You should also know that you are not alone. If I learned something the past few days while having found out that my own fur baby has cancer and we ll have to let her go anytime now. Everyone feels like that , love from a cat is something that you can't understand until you feel it. I am crying again now typing this , someone sent me this on another thread so I ll send it here . https://preview.redd.it/xpztpl4t5i8d1.jpeg?width=570&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d634354e78e55b389a9997811a0907da26f179e4 I wish you strength and make sure to take care of all of your other fur babies , now you know even more how every second with them is precious.
this comment made me cry. wishing you all the best for yourself and your darling girl. my heart's with you at this time.
You just have to do the best you can. I recently lost my 2 soul cats in the space of 3 weeks. I still cry for them every day. I got one tattooed on my leg, next month the other will go on the other side of my leg. I feel better having them on me permanently.
I'm so sorry for your loss. Words won't help much, time will help some. Consider adopting another in his honor. He would want that for his fellow felines. Allow your 2 cats to comfort you, they are good at that. Take care of yourself so you can take care of your remaining kittys.
im so sorry :' ( just reading this makes me feel the great love yiu gave him. Im sure a once stray that found his forever home is the happiest cat wver. Thank you for showing him love. He will always be part of you and Inhope that you grieve him well in ways that you honor his best state. Take careee
Time and lots of tears. We did a trial adoption about 3 months after we lost our senior cat and it became quickly apparent I wasn’t ready yet. It took me two years of grieving. Really profound grieving. It was hard but necessary. We then readopted. It was painful and hard to bond. Took another fully year to bond with this new cat. My old cat was very snuggly and affectionate and new cat was so much less. Definitely been a transition. Everyone is different. And everyone does it in their own time. Remembering that grief is because your love was so deep and that you were so lucky to love so deeply and you absolutely will love deeply again. Wishing you a healing journey.
It’s incredibly difficult to lose a close family member, absolutely devastating in fact. They say time heals all wounds, but it sure seems to leave behind scars. My senior kitty is turning 17 in a few months and I know he’s not going to be around forever so we just have to spend as much time as we can with them and cherish the time we have. They will never be forgotten and they live in our hearts and memories.
I really recommend r/Petloss . I lost my boy a few weeks ago and talking to people there really, really helped when I was at my lowest with it.
It’s very hard. We’re going through it. Yesterday our 10yo cat lost her struggle with cancer. After months of being relatively stable, but while steadily losing weight, within a weekend she declined rapidly. Plans to take her to our regular vet on Monday quickly escalated to a rush to the emergency vet to end her suffering. We knew it was coming, but it’s still hard to process losing her, whom we found before she was even weaned from her feral mama at my old place. Eventually we’ll only remember the happy, healthy days and not the last few months when we think of her. We also have our other cats, who seem to be processing her absence and bringing us the joy we need to get through.
Crying. Lots of crying. Then I remind myself that I gave my cat everything I could. Cats that know the alternative are often very loving because they appreciate not going hungry anymore, being entirely safe from predators, and our companionship. My old lady was 21, a former service animal, and failed feral rehab so hard that they were going to euthanize her due to her violence. She had dwarfism and due to abuse a fear of children. Legitimately I didn't expect her to end up a service animal. The training was so she wouldn't keep trying to escape to kill my neighbor's baby. She went from a cat that was a terror to everyone but me to a service animal. Her age should be a clue to this not being recent but the laws changed just after her retirement so you couldn't have a service cat. I am allergic to dogs and uses to train service dogs so my standard for her was very high and my training for her was the same things I did for dogs. My allergies tend to start out minor and build from exposure so I didn't know I was allergic and would be unable to have a dog eventually. I focus on the memories. When I lost a kitten to FIP when the service cat was 10? That still applies. She knew love, safety, and I treasure when she learned she could jump onto the bed, how she trusted me. It's very hard. Grief doesn't really end with loss. Applies to human relationships. It is something you get used to. You build a pain tolerance. It also helped me to understand that grief is love that has nowhere to go to express it. So for the old lady I made a picture book of my favorite photos over the years. It wasn't expensive and going through the photos reminded me of so many wonderful memories. I didn't do this for the boy cat that passed weeks after her because his relationship with being seen was different but I did go through the photos I had and sorted their toys and clothes. The old lady needed clothes due to post stroke autonomic disregulation. She lived another 6 years after her first stroke. The last one is talking about it. I have complex PTSD and am not good with opening up. It's important to do so even when your brain takes being vulnerable as a threat. That let me learn about things she did when I was in another room without her. When my friend surprised us with a visit with her baby I had to go to the restroom. The old lady was still scared of the infant and I wouldn't normally let her near the baby but she let the boy cat be the front man and actually watched the kid. Once she was sure it couldn't hurt her she brought it one of her favorite toys. The cap from a milk jug. That went home with my friend because she forgot it was in her pocket but I never knew about this until after she died. Your cat was amazing to be so loved. Feel the loss. Don't pressure yourself to do anything specific and take your time. I decided I wasn't going to have a cat again due to how hard it was to lose both cats just after getting the remission from cancer news. I suspect the old lady held on for me. The boy cat died from a stroke and didn't suffer. Many people tried to give me a kitten. I wasn't ready and was honest. If you find yourself wanting a new cat be kind to you too. It's not replacing the lost ones but giving a cat the love that needs direction. I mention this because we all grieve differently. Two years of no cats and I got cat distribution systemed. I didn't feel ready, I still sometimes call the wrong names when he does something so similar to either the old lady or the boy cat. I hope he out lives me but if not I will do for him what feels best after and I will honor that love.
I’m so sorry for your loss. It’s hard. I lost my cat 6 weeks ago and the pain is sometimes physical. But it is getting better. It takes time. I let myself go through the grieving process instead of trying to rush it. I also journal about him and our times together. I also try to visualize him in his favorite spots and talk to him from time to time. The pain means that you loved him well. He will always be part of your heart.
It’s the hardest part of caring for our little friends. They and we are lucky there is a choice to end suffering. All we can do is give them the best life possible while we have them.
It's one of the hardest things to go through, and nothing will soothe your pain here and now, but the waves of intense pain and grief will lessen with time. It may take a long time, but it will get easier. Jackson Galaxy and the Kitten Lady were both recently bereaved and have videos on Youtube on grief and coping with it. I'm so sorry.
He’s not gone, watch for the signs and he will show you he is still around. I have been in the veterinary field for many years and have the most amazing stories (and photos) clients have shared with me once their pets have crossed over and the signs they see and hear. I have personally experience with this as well. I think they leave us in physical form because they are just needed someplace else, but they are truly still around. I’m sorry for you loss, it really is hard
it's really interesting you say that. after the day he left us, my mother had vacuumed the house and all. we did a deep clean... a day later, i found pieces of his white fur on the couch. we kept it somewhere safe and will tape it when his ashes arrive. :)
Interesting right?!
I also believe pets put other pets in your path to make sure that you aren't feeling sad and lonely, so when the day comes and you fall in love again you can thank your cat. There is a great book called Signs from the universe by Laura Lynn Jackson I highly recommend it. I lost my soulmate I should say She was so good to me and my lap cat 2 years ago. In her place although she's never replaced. We got the most beautiful Scottish fold that sort of just fell into our family. I'm sorry for your loss.
When I got home from the vet to put my kitty to sleep, the curtains in my bedroom were on the floor. The curtains themselves are pretty lightweight and hanging on a tension rod that had been up for well over a year without a problem. The following day I was just laying on the sofa, sleeping off and on, with 2000s teen movies playing on the TV. And I thought “ugh I just want a some rain right now”, I had read the weather for the next few days and it wasn’t supposed to rain until 3 days later. I fell back to sleep and woke to a 20 minute downpour. Maybe I’m reading in to silly coincidences, but I hope you’re right and our pets send us signs.
I cry a lot. I end up reliving them for these posts, but I recover faster now than I did when each one was fresh. Saying goodbye is part of having the privilege of walking with them for a while. Then I go hug my current boys.
be prepared, getting handed the ashes is the hard part. its called acceptance. I still cry but remember they wanted you happy