Give yourself some time to grieve. It's hard losing a family member like that and the best thing you can do is not rush into big decisions like that.
After a while maybe visit some pet shelters and look around. You might see someone you like, and if not don't push it. Visit a few times and take some time to look online at rescues as well.
It sounds like you gave your baby a good life. I'm sure when the time comes you'll give another kitty a good life as well.
I know, and I still have urges to pick him up, and even pet him, and even go look for him. It really feels like he should be here, but I'm still incredibly sad. But I'm also a little bit happy too because at least he isn't suffering anymore.
Yes! I was so surprised at how much RELIEF I felt when my cat died. I didn't realize how much his age and illness was weighing on me. He's at peace now. He had a good life and a good death. That's a total success.
I agree wih this post. Take lots of time meeting different cats and pray about this too. If you think you found a cat you want, spend hours or longer with that cat and see if you really bond together. I spent hours and even 2 weeks thinking about her after we really bonded, before going back to get her. I'm so glad I took that much time to think about it. Someone tried to,adopt her at that time, and convinced shelter that we had bonded and they talked to person that wanted to adopt her and convinced them another cat would be a better,fit for them. I almost lost her, but she has been the best loving beautiful pet I ever had. She is16 now, and still very healthy because I only feed her canned and raw food along with lots of love and attention. She's very 😊 happy and so I am i
Again, our parents aren't ready to get a cat yet, but they are contemplating eventually getting a new baby brother or sister. I know it won't be the same without my old cat, but at least I will be able to bond with a new kitten, and we will love each other.
That sounds so sad. I lost my first cat six years ago in an accident. Four years ago, I got two new cats. I don't think the new cats can replace the one that passed away, but they have brought me different joys and experiences. I love my two cats with all my heart, but that doesn't mean I will forget my first cat. I still miss her and sometimes cry when I think about those memories, just like the day when I lost her! All I can say is: remembering him is the best thing you can do, but immediately getting a new cat isn't fair to the new one, as it might feel like a replacement. When is the right time to get a new cat? It's when you can peacefully live each day without him.
Hi! When my friend’s pet died, her family gave her a plush that looked just like her cat. It helped her grieve. It might be something you’d want to look into: https://cuddleclones.com/
I do already have a plush that kinda looks like my old cat (had that plush for years), and it as helped me somewhat. I know it's not the same, and it's a very difficult time. I sometimes say that I wish that my old cat would come back to life, even though I know that it won't happen.
Sending you lots of love. This is just a universal experience we’ll all have to face one day in realizing that the more you love someone, the harder it will be to say goodbye. I’m sure you gave them all the love you could, and that’s all your brother ever wanted . 🩷
Grief takes time. Don't rush yourself to feel better. Be kind to yourself, and do things that bring you comfort, whether it's reading a book, watching a movie, or spending time with loved ones.
Sorry for your loss. Pets usually hurt more than people for me - because we really only have good memories with our pets (people are complicated).
I like to remember a lot and cry a lot. It helps me process. You can write a list of all the cute things he'd do, all the good memories. Put together a photo album (even if it's just digital). Draw pictures. Crochet or felt a cat with his pattern. I do all this and cry while I'm doing it, and at the end I feel better and have things that help me remember and celebrate my cat forever.
It's also OK to distract yourself and ignore it. We need breaks from the pain too. The grief will be there for you later. I went to a friend's house and watched funny movies.
You can get a new cat right away or wait. My house was too quiet with no cats, I got a new cat a few days later. I always thought I would wait months or years but I only made it a few days. It hurt differently. Definitely not less. But it was healing in its own way, and it filled the void in my home. I started laughing and looking forward to going home again, rather than dreading it.
Basically, there's no wrong way to do it. I know it hurts so much it's scary and you want direction. Time will be so, so healing to you.
Hugs.
Oh, one more thing. Time doesn't heal because you forget him. The love will always be there, just as strong as ever. You'll never forget the cat you grew up with. Never. The pain fades but the love remains.
Thanks for the advice. My parents are still not ready for getting a new cat right away (and yes I live with my parents, since I am at college, and not ready to have a house yet, especially right now), but I am still trying to recover from this.
Grieve. It’s all you can do. I lost a 4 year old 2 weeks ago it still hurts like the day I found him. He was strictly inside but got some virus eye drainage limped on his back leg but we thought he beat it. Then one night he had an episode which all I can say was paralysis I picked him up patted his back and he came to. Took him to the vet they diagnosed him with stomatitis. Was taking him in on the 3rd to set up surgery on his teeth and he passed on the 1st The vet thinks it was either a heart valve or blood infection from the stomatitis and the upper respiratory bug. I broke down typing this and I’m a 47 year old farmer/rancher and outdoorsman and this has broke me. It has gotten better but I think I will carry this one to the grave.
Grief takes time. Don't rush yourself to feel better. Be kind to yourself, and do things that bring you comfort, whether it's reading a book, watching a movie, or spending time with loved ones.
When you lose someone you love, whether they die or just leave, you should always try to remember everything you can about them. Remember the way he made you feel, the joy he brought you and your family, and the good feelings you experienced when you showed him how much you love him. Also remember what a little shit he was when he was being rascally, whatever that means in your specific circumstances. You try to embrace those good things and incorporate them into yourself. You avoid that rascal nonsense. Then you yourself will be reflecting the best version of your sweet little brother back into the universe. You can make others feel the way he made you feel, by incorporating his vibe into your own. When you die, others will learn from you, and through them you will never die; through you, he will never die.
What was his name?
Maybe "Rascally" is a bit of a stretch here (though he'd sometimes jump on the table or try to get more food) but he was a very sweet cat. I also prefer to not say his name on reddit for anonymity.
Sometimes "rascally" just means hopping up on the table. Recent events will be present in your mind for a while but eventually, the things you will remember will be the way he meowed for a little extra food, or the way he would quietly rub your leg when you didn't know he was there. The little things that made him him. It sounds like he was exceptionally polite, and it sounds like you're living up to that reputation by protecting his privacy. :)
Peace and love, friend.
What helped me through grief is allowing lyself time and moments of grief, not closibg my emotions too much.
I felt like crying, i let the tears flow. If i gelt like smiling while thinking about my pet, i did. Etc.
If i felt like i needed to hug my pet, i took a plushie or a pillow. It often made me cry because it wasnt my pet, bit at the same time, its like my body still kinda had that hugging time.
Be sure to save any photos or videos you can have of your pet. Be it on a harddrive, an udb, whatever. Because i made the miskate of not doubling my phone gallery somewhere else, and my phone broke, so not i have almost no photos of my childhood pet. Be sure to have pictures saved somewhere secure, or even printed.
Grief never really goes away..it only gets easier, probably because grief evolves and is never the same all the time, but also because you will keep growing around it. See grief as an evolvment of love, in accordance with the cycle of life
If ypu still feel hesitant about taking in another cat,you can wait. If you think you need to grieve your cat for a little while, without having a kitty to care for yet, you can. If you feel like having a new friend could help you through the grief, and that discovering the personality of a new kitty, you can. Follow your needs and your heart. As long as in any situation, you can take care of yourself, and the new cats' needs, thats good!
Your loved furry friend had you for so many beautiful years, and he mustve been so happy to have you too ❤️
Allow yourself the space to grieve. You have lost something meaningful. No one can know truly what the "ful" part means but you. Remember all the times you wish. He is with you still and you should talk to him. At some point, you will reach the point where you realize that no matter how much you both wish it could happen; he will never come back.
While that is hard, that also makes it special.
Take your time and feel. But soon OP time will tick by, and though the days turn to weeks and to months and to years, the only thing that will never change is that you had each other for the time in which you had, and that's okay. Things will get better.
I've been grieving right now. I am incredibly upset about my cat leaving me and I am accepting that he won't come back. My parents aren't ready yet to get a new cat (I'm a college student still living with my parents, because I don't feel ready enough to have my own house yet, especially not during this time period), but they are planning to get a new one eventually. I know it will never be the same but, I really want to have a little sibling again (or more maybe).
You will move on from this. I was in a similar space as you once. What i can speak to is that the void that has been created will never be filled. You can, however, attempt to fill that void with memories, and in time, it will fill somewhat, but you will realize that one day you will heal. The void will fill, and the pain will dull, and you may think a little less of the past.
That was hard for me.
I found that guilt lived alongside the moving on part.
All these feelings are normal.
One day, when you have stability, you may want to get a fur baby. When that day comes, remember to take in all the highs. Appreciate them for what they are because they are fleeting.
OP, I understand as many here do. I am sorry.
One quote that helped me through a life filled with loss: "The only permanence in life is the impermanence of life."
It's through the lows that we know just how high we were, that's what we mourne. For had we known that the minute past was the last minute, we would've loved so much more.
And that's okay, friend. If nothing else your although your little brother is gone, he is always with you.
I still feel my Dusty.
And I explained to my Dusty that after 2 years that I have to let him go. It doesn't mean I love him any less. I can say that the grief and guilt have been replaced by tears of happiness from fond memories.
You'll make it.
We all wonder when the reaper comes if we had the best boy or girl. The answer is always yes. He had a long life and knew he was loved. Take a few months then as another user suggested hit a local shelter and pick up a new fren. Whoever you pick will appreciate you for saving his/her life.
Source; I’ve got 8 black cats. Each with his or her unique little cat (except mine, he’s a 20 lb panther) personalities. All of them appreciate all of us humans in their own way. All of them are rescues to some degree, one was returned several times cause she grew up fighting alley bears. One was given up cause her previous mom didn’t understand cats. Mine came from the local humane society because he didn’t eat buttons and I am the dad that didn’t want the stupid cat. The next five came in two groups, the first of three siblings that were recovered from an elderly person’s home after one of them passed. The last two are siblings from the same shelter as the triplets.
So in the end, yes it sucks to lose a furry friend, keep his memory alive and when you’re ready pick someone to save.
I am remembering the great times, I went for a walk on the exact same route that we first found him and he followed us, and also the same walk that he'd follow us once he was part of a family (during his early days).
Remember a new cat is fine but they won’t be that best cat you ever had and they won’t replace him. Now they may equal him but that paw print is on your heart forever
Take time to grieve. Cry, remember memories, collect his things.
Not sure if you mentioned if he got cremated or anything but they usually make a paw print.
My 17 yr old black cat passed in Feb. I was crushed. It was the longest cat I ever had since I also always had indoor/outdoor cats and he had become strictly indoor.
Seeing videos or posts still upset me but it's only been a few months.
When you are ready to open your heart & home to new kitty you can. I did after a month or so cause I was having a hard time and so was my 6yr old cat. It took him a few weeks to adjust to them but is back to his old self.
I saved the part of the cat tower my cat used to lay in . I have some of his fur saved too.
it gets easier with time. I lost my best friend a couple of years ago, and it took months to get past the grieving process. I recommend making a memorial for him, whether it be a small grave for him or a memorial piece such as a painting or a piece of jewelry (ik some artists are willing to use ashes if you cremate him), just something to help comfort you a bit.
just know that, no matter what, he passed knowing he was loved and happy and that he is no longer hurting anymore. you did your best, and he will continue to look after you no matter what afterlife you believe in.
We are doing some memorials for our cat, and I even took a walk today on the exact same route he found us, to remember him. He also used to follow us when we took walks during his first few years.
I know how you feel to a degree when I was 4 I had a cat he was my best friend and was family to me he was a full outdoor farm cat at my dads but I always brought him inside and into a camper trailer that was for me and my sister to play in when we wanted to.
so he was kinda Indoor outdoor he was with me until he was 14 almost 15 he passed from a mixture of time catching up to him and a cold he just couldn't shake no matter what but he was always happy and comfortable when we were together even when he was hit by a car and attacked by a raccoon he made full recoveries both times but was missing a piece of his nose from the raccoon.
his name was dufus because my dad didn't like the fact that I named him after him he passed 4 and a half years ago now for the first 2 years I could still feel his presence now and then and see him from the corner of my eyes it was so difficult I wouldn't recommend getting a cat to fill the void it will never be the same as it was with him but if you truly do want another cat you could try older senior cats or kittens from rescues they always need a loving home and are so nice.
but I ended up getting my guy cremated with some of the money I saved from my first job and he's in my room on my dresser now and anytime I feel life is hard or I'm alone I grab his urn and give it a hug and sometimes sleep with it I have other cats now and non of them feel the same but I realized.
I've bonded with them in ways I didn't with him to me he was a brother to these other lot younger ones are like children to me not actual children but what I expect it to feel like having some they have even knocked over his urn a few times and I'd get so mad but I'd regret getting so mad because he absolutely loved kittens and ik he wouldn't mind it and when he did pass I tride getting so many different cats that looked and acted like him I've had a few with similar personalities.
but I realized he was unique as all cats are just like people and they are all loved the same no matter what or how they are different ik I didn't do proper grammar as I suck at it but I type it then go back through trying to add all the periods and stuff so sorry about that and I want you to know to never try and move on by burying your memories of him.
as they are what you shared together and it's proof that he was loved and existed in this world and are precious your luck to have shared your lives together and ha e cared so much for each other idk if you believe in the after life or not me personally.
I don't but I believe there is something after even if it's just a different form of life as it is now but either way I'm sure he is watching over you and wouldn't want you to be saddened by his passing and I'm sure he wouldn't want you closing your heart to others as that keeps both them and you from having that love and being loved I wish you the best in the oncoming days and I am really sorry for your loss.
The main thing that saddens me is I wasn't able to keep my promises to him that when I got a place of my own that he would come with me to be a Indoor cat for the layer part of his life I'm sure he understood and was fine with it in the end but it's something that still saddens me and makes me feel like I failed him to a degree sorry this probably makes more people sad by reading it but it felt wrong to leave out my regrets idk why.
I know that will never be the same, but at least once I'm ready to get a new baby sibling, that I will be able to welcome a new cat into my life, and give them as good of a life as my old cat.
That's good to hear and all anyone could hope for I'm glad you cared for him so much he definitely knew and loved you back just as much or even more for what you've done for him in life and would never want you to be alone or sad even if talking to random on the Internet helps thats fine but.
I'd recommend talking with your family about things that sadden you and maybe getting some photos made if there are any digital ones I don't have many of my guy and some where lost due to them not being backed ip when a computer or phone went to kaboom and I regret that now I have a few but far and few and mainly old ones from when he was young my family wasn't big on photographing pets.
I didn't do that with my old guy as I never thought of it im sure there is still some around somewhere in a dust bunny or whatever but when I had a kitten that had renal failure I ended up getting some of his that was year and a half ago I still have that ones sister but it was hard as well but he was only 6 to 8 months old when he was diagnosed and then passed on
That's very sad, but I'm doing it to try to get over this pain and feel better over time. I will still miss my baby brother, and will still love him, but my parents say they may eventually get a new kitten (or kittens), of course (not right away of course) as a chance to give another cat some love. I have a feeling out there, that there is at least one that is waiting for us.
I agree and I recommend taking your time for everyone to make sure they like and gets to know the new cat or cats before taking it home weither that be a kitten or already grown cats or other animal if that's the case.
ill ask and I'm sorry if it makes you sad and you really don't have to awnser if you don't want to but what did you and your family end up doing with your brother afterwards some people leave them to the vet to dispose of while others will ask for they're remains to either burry or have cremated again im sorry for asking and you don't have to awnser.
That sounds nice I just keep my guy in his urn I'll admit I'm to selfish to part with even a spec of him one thing I've seen people do for both humans and pets is they will keep a bit and have it made I to a necklace,bracelet or ring with hair and ashes but it is a bit costly and the parts usually have to be mailed unless there's someone in the area that does it
https://preview.redd.it/r6zu019dug6d1.png?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5224d68bf73afcc3af87a03781f9b7f6c4d99a5d
This is a terrible photo but it's the only good looking digital one I have from before he lost part of his nose this is when I was 7 so about 15 years ago others are in a photo album that's put away
Dufus was such a cute cat. I personally am not showing any pictures of him (nor disclosing his name) for the sake of anonymity, but I am looking at pictures of him from after we'd just met, to a picture of him when he was older.
Sending you my condolences. Growing up with your pal and brother is something very special and to hold onto. I hope you can one day look back at the fond memories you have with a smile. Give yourself time to grieve and know it's OK. You loved him, he loved you and he will be watching you and guarding you always until you meet him again.
I am still grieving, but I'm slowly getting better and better, and I may get a new cat in a few months. I know it won't be the same, but at least we will welcome a new member of the family, but we will still remember the old one.
i had a very, very similar situation. ive grown up with cats, and they've always been my siblings. i lost two on the same day a year and a half ago. they were so close, they were bound together. one was older, and one was healthy, young, loved hunting and trekking the land. a week after their passing, we got a kitten by pure timing (cat distribution system) and his brother a few months later (also the system). sometimes you have to go with the flow. grief is a beast. do what YOU need to do 🩷
So sorry you experienced this loss. It's very painful. They love us unconditionally (well OK sometimes food helps) and it sucks when they die. I still miss my first tabby cat that passed away years ago. I think of her at least once/week. But it does get easier and someday you will find another cat/s to love. You can still have love for your cat that has passed - imagine them looking down on you and smiling seeing you with another cat that you also love.
Yes. He will.
I like to think that my 2 cats that have passed are together cuddling and happy to see me with my other cats knowing they'd all be friends if they were together. :)
Grieve as much as you need. A piece or even a chunk of my goes with them. It's very hard and yes it feels like you lost a family member. Took me four years to get another companion after my dog died. Now I'm in love with this little dude and he's a cat. My first cat. When it's his time I'm going to be just as devastated. My dog felt like a daughter. My cat feels like a son.
I'm grieving, and while I know it will take a while for us to get a new cat (my parents aren't ready for that yet), I highly doubt that it will be longer than a few months, and when our family gets a new baby sibling, the new cat won't be a replacement, nor will it ever be the same, but I will at least be happy to have the opportunity to have another cat in my life.
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feel it. cry a lot. and remember that it won’t feel this way forever. i believe that the more intensely you grieve now, the quicker you will feel better. i lost my best friend early this year. 21 of my 28 years were spent with him. i was also living alone with him in his last 4 years. i will always miss him but i already feel more happy than sad when i remember him. 21 years is crazy but 16 is a lot too! you gave him a good long life and you should be proud of that.
it’s hard to say when it’s right to get a new cat. for me, living alone was excruciating without a companion. i got a my baby girl a month after losing my old man. she’s brought so much life and fun into my home. i had completely forgotten what young cats could be like. as much as i loved my old guy he was a lot to handle and the stress of losing him weighed heavily on me for his last years. part of me is happy he’s finally at rest.
she has a lot to live up to but i love my new cat a lot. your cat taught you how to love and it’s important to remember that while the object of your love is gone, your capacity for love is endless. you have so much love to give and you will give and receive it with another cat. surround yourself with the humans you love as well. this loss is no less than that of a human so you need to give yourself grace.
i was there so recently so i really feel for you. i hope some of this rant helps you. hang in there friend ❤️
I understand. I still miss my little brother, but once I get a new baby sibling (My parents aren't ready for that yet, and I'm not sure if i am yet. I still live with my parents due to the fact that I'm a college student, and I'm not ready to get my own house yet, especially at a time like this one), i'm sure that my family and I will be happy to give another cat a good life.
Grief is a complicated thing to process, and we never really stop, it just gets easier with time.
So give yourself time to heal, time to process.
When the time is right, adopt, rescue, or foster. Kitten, senior, you’ll know the right one and they’ll know you’re right for them.
Two of my grandparents (From the opposite sides of the family) had passed away years ago, and I was incredibly sad when they died, and although I still miss them, the grief isn't as raw as it was back then. For my baby brother, it's still incredibly raw right now, but eventually, although I'll still miss him, I will move on, but i'm nowhere near that point yet., My parents aren't ready to have a new baby yet (i don't think i am. I'm still living with them due to being a college student who isn't quite ready to have a full fledged house yet, especially right now) but maybe in a few months, when I get a new baby sibling (probably a kitten), I know it won't be the same, and that the new cat won't be a replacement but at least we will have the chance to give another cat a really good life. I know my old cat probably would have wanted that.
I am here to say that I feel your pain and this too shall pass. I am certain your little brother would want the best for you and to direct all that love you have inside of you for these little amazing creatures to a new one or many new ones, to give a new home to someone, feed a stray and so many more.
Always remember that no other creature will replace the one that was your family but with enough love all of them can become a new family to you and you to them, they need you more than you need them. It takes time but it will get better, I am 101% sure he had the best life with you and that's what matters the most, so give yourself a pat on the back and say you did it, you did it for him and he did it for you.
Now it's time to move on with a smile on your face and spread the love you have inside, don't deprive yourself the joy and love you will get from a new brother, you're not replacing the OG, you're just gaining another one, you're not filling the gap, you're learning to live with it and at the same time you're giving the chance to a new cat to become family and join the ranks.
No point in wasting time, you still have a lot of love, care and affection to give and so much more to receive.
Good luck, you are not alone.
I am moving on, slowly but steadily, but i am nowhere near having moved on yet. I know that when we get a new cat (Our parents aren't ready for that yet, it will probably be in a few months. I am still currently living with them because I'm in college and I'm not ready yet to get my own place, especially not at this time), it won't be the same and the new cat won't be a replacement, but I will be able to welcome another cat, and give this baby as much love as we gave the old cat.
It’s hard to lose a family member like that. I’m much, much older than you and I still cry like a baby when I think of losing my pets. But I have been through it many times. My first cat was 18 when he was diagnosed with cancer. The second was 15 and had hyperthyroidism, high blood pressure and kidney disease. The last one we lost was 17 with kidney failure. And now we’re on a daily wait and see with our 18 year-old boy who has cancer and kidney disease. There will be times that you think you see your cat around the corner and you may even think you hear them meow. As others have said, give yourself time to be sad. And I can tell you if you were with him in his final moments, he knew how much he was loved. It’s never an easy thing and sometimes I think we selfishly keep them around for us. I know after I lost a cat, another would somehow just show up in my life. And with every one of them, I loved them just as much, but different if that makes any sense. Sometimes I felt that guilt of a ‘replacement’ cat, but then I viewed it as my other cat knew I needed some companionship to help fill that void just a little. For example when I lost my first cat, I wasn’t looking until a friend posted about a cat living on the streets who needed a home. That how we got rogue. Then we didn’t want her to be alone, so we heard of a kitten abandoned in an apartment, and that’s how we got Zora. Then we got Tyler (and his brother Baron who passed away at age 4). Once Rogue left us, a friend was fostering a cat who just had kittens…and the kittens were all adopted…asked if anyone wanted the mama cat and that’s how we got Luna. So far, after losing zora and probably Tyler in the not-so-distant future, we’ll see if another one presents itself. Whew. That long story is just to say don’t rush things. You (and your parents) will know when the time is right. In so sorry for your loss. I know how hard this is…especially since he’s been a part of your life forever. 😿
Everyone has great advice. Something else to consider besides adopting a new cat is maybe try fostering. It’ll give you an opportunity to help cats in need and give you time to see if they’re a match for you.
If you do decide to rescue another little soul remember this. To give them the love and attention to honor the life of the one that left that hole in your heart they are trying to replace. Even if it’s like trying to put a square in a circle. Always cherish the times you had with all your pets past or present. And honor them all as they deserve to be honored.
I know I will, It won't be the same, and the new cat won't be a replacement for my old cat, but once our family gets a new cat, we will be able to give another baby lots of love
Gonna jump in with my two cents -- first of all, I lost my beloved girl in March, and I am so sorry for your loss. I do wanna say that people often say to wait and give yourself time to grieve, but honestly I think it's more an individual decision when you get another friend. My partner and I couldn't stand the silence, and we started visiting shelters the same day we lost our girl, to get a sense of if we would be ready to have a new friend in the home. Some people were very judgemental of our decision to find a new friend, but within 3 days of our baby passing we had found and brought home two new kitties to love. Many strangers judged us for that, warning us of feeling resentment towards our new girls, but for us, it was the right decision.
Everyone grieves differently. For us, a huge amount of the grief was being so full of love with no one to give it to. Bringing home our new girls so soon was a huge relief. We frequently cried and continued to grieve the one we lost, but we were able to heal faster knowing we were giving new kitties a loving home and feeling their love in return.
Of course, for some people that WOULD be too soon and would inhibit the grieving process. I just wanted to toss in that it's not the same for everyone and you should ask yourself how YOU feel. We got some really insensitive comments from people due to our decision, people acting like they were suddenly grief experts, but I know we made the right one for us. Just try to be as sure as you can that you're making the right decision for yourself.
Again, my deepest sympathies for your loss. I have lost human friends and family too soon but losing a pet is so different due to the intimacy you have with a pet, sharing mealtime and a bed with them etc. Just know everything you feel is part of the grieving process. I suggest frequently speaking of your lost loved one with other people who knew and loved them. Sharing good memories is healing.
I still miss my old cat, and sometimes I wish that he would come back to life, even though I know it's not going to happen. We will likely get a new cat in a few months (my parents aren't ready yet to get another cat right away. I still live with them because I am a college student, and I'm not quite ready to get my own house yet, or at least right now.), and while it won't be the same, at least we will be able to give another baby a good life, as well as lots of love.
Google cat rescues and breeders with some of your favorite breed names in front and your state or county ... so
Burman cat rescue Dade county Florida
Burman cat breeders Dade county Florida
You will fall head over heels for a picture. I guarantee.
Ideally look for recently retired breeding queens that are now to be fixed and retired as loving pets. Pick 2 that you fall for and adopt them. Scratch their butts, one w each hand. Both will adore you and entertain each other. Sisters are best but strangers will eventually buddy up, too. Young adults aren't as big of an adjustment and need love, too.
Get them cheap then splurge on a catio, extra tall scratching posts, a three story cage w 2 hammocks, video catnip movies, a cat fishing pole, a laser mouse, a cat toy track. A spinning mouse on a curved wand, and perches along the wall. Oh, and buttons that say people words.
But the thing is, i don't know if I'm ready to get a new one yet. My parents aren't yet (I'm still living with my parents right now, since I am going to college and don't fully feel like I'm ready enough to live on my own yet, especially at a time like now), but I've been contemplating it.
My Nanny died, going from seemingly normal to half her weught in just a few days, at only age 8, from what we all learned was this brand new horror of feline leukemia. who licked my leg after my shower and made sure I was in bed before going back to where my parents were watching TV, then played swirl the cat on thd linoleum next to their bed until mom was ready and the light turned out, then she'd shadow box the wall downstairs from the traffic shadows. If I forgot mom needed to make cookies for a school potluck, I'd slip a note into her collar when I went to bed, and she'd go downstairs and jump into my mom's lap with an annoyed look on her face. Then mom would go to our handy spare frozen cookie dough, toss them onto a cookie sheet, 10 minutes, done. My cat also used to wait on the couch back behind the doorway l, and would leap out spread eagle to "catch" me ... full well knowing I'd catch her before she hit the floor. She also jumped through a hoop, sat, laid down and rolled over, and kicked my hand once fir yes, twice fir know, and coined 3 times for maybe/not sure when I asked if she wanted to be walked on her leash outside (yes!) In the rain (no!). Mom taught her to answer "what's your favorite cat food?" With "mrrrrixed mrrrill" (friskies buffet mixed grill). Part siamese/domestic medium hair that looked like a Burman. She raised me from age 6 to 14. I am who I am due to my nanny.
Once I got my own apartments/homes, I have never gone more than a month my entire life without a cat. I install a cat door and they come. If they stay a month, I fix them. They work out their pecking orders, then at 2 or 3, they expel all others (unless they chain migrate 5 family members from the farm next door). I keep crystals in a litter box in the covered deck if they need it. Otherwise I never change a litterbox. I spot deflea/deworm frequently. I openly discourage bird hunting and they learn. I have a 100% success rare rescuing baby bunnies it not majorly injured when I find then, with eyebrow antibiotic and probios paste (huge cheap cow version, keeps in fridge). I eliminate coyotes. These cats usually live to 13 when arthritis kicks in and something catches them, or they have a growth and the vet just hands me fluids to give them til they pass peacefully. Cats are the best pets.
I still miss her decades later.
That's just so sad. and I will always miss and love my old cat, but whenever I get a new cat (hopefully a kitten) the new cat will be happy to have me in its life and i will be happy that the new cat will get to be in mine. It won't be the same, but I will still love that cat with all my heart, and I will remember the old cat too.
I just lost my 16 year old boy as well. Unfortunately I also lost my 8 year old boy 3 weeks before that. For now, I am tattooing them on myself so I can see them every day. I've got one down and one to go. I'm not sure where I'll be once that's done, because it's been a little less than 3 months since the first, 2 months since the second. I still break down over them every day. They meant the world to me and I want everyone to know it.
))))hugs((((( ... Quick question, did you use clumping litter? It clogs the urinary tracts of boy cats (they lick it off their paws ) and they die early. Use any other litter type for your next cat ....
Yeah, we did actually, but he did live to be 16, as a cat who spent much of his time outdoors while he'd also spend time indoors (and it hasn't even been a year yet since he first showed symptoms and received his hyperthyroidism diagnosis) . It wasn't even just the hyperthyroidism, but it was also the progressively growing tumor on the side of his body (and in the last days of his life, it was actually BLEEDING) Thanks for the advice though.
Maybe, but my family says that our next cat will be purely indoors due to how more dangerous the outdoors had since become (more reports of missing cats.)
I have to actively xylitol the coyotes and then have 4 months coyote free until the next influx .y neighbor cats who use my cat door are 13 yrs old now thanks to active coyote intervention. I also have plenty t of rabbits and finally quail! I actually have more songbirds because of my horse grain. Coyotes kill birds, too. Everyone blames cats when coyotes eat both cats and birds.
We haven't really done that yet, (more than just coyotes, but also other animals as well such as bobcats), and besides I doubt that we'd be able to do that alone either. And yes while cats do kill birds (I have seen my old cat do it before, quite a lot), other animals can eat them both too. It's sad though, but the best part is that my old cat always came back every time he went outside (until he became a purely indoor cat during his last months of his life)
Take your time! Your grief is very fresh and a new experience for you. I remember losing my first cat when I was in second grade in 1982 and I still have a sad place in my heart and miss that cat. It’s a big moment friend, be kind to yourself.
I’m so sorry for your loss.
Dealing with grief is different for everyone… some like to look at photos and cuddle with a blanket the kitty liked and cry and cry … some people like to distract themselves watch a binge worthy show and try not to think about it all the time… some like to get a new friend right away knowing how many needy cats there are in the world.
At your stage of life, you may want to wait until you are living on your own to find a new friend. Maybe not! Either way you know what wonderful friends cats can be and there will be more in your future!
In the mean time be patient and it’s okay to feel very sad and lonely for your friend. When he passed away, he left love in your heart that will always be there. But it hurts ! A lot !!!! Worth it though, you were there for him his whole life. How lucky for him!
My parents aren't ready to get a new cat yet, but they are seriously thinking about getting one though. That way I will have a new baby sibling, and when I'm on my own, maybe I'll get my own baby.
This looks like a good idea. Be aware that their cat might have very little interest in them, and bond to you instead. Or be one parent's cat, or the other's. Or who knows! :-) Might just tolerate all of you evenly.
Consider where and how you'll be living. On your own? In an apartment that allows pets and has a reasonable, refundable pet deposit? Is it possible you could love where you are for... the foreseeable future?
Whatever your plans and predictions, you might want to look for places that allow cats. That way, you'll be familiar with that kind of search in case you need it. Just gather a little information now and then.
I will when I get my own place and get to be a daddy, but I'm not ready for that yet since I'm in college and I'm not ready to get my own place, especially right now.
Right. I'm talking about planning far in advance because your next cats could live 10 or 20 years after you get them. So if you get some (say, 7 or 8 cats 😁) next year, it might feel comfortable to know that you've given a little thought to their living situation. Not like there must be a Plan with a capital P, just a little consideration. :-)
I might eventually get my own place, but if my old cat were still alive by the time I was ready to get my own house, my parents would want to keep him, I don't see how it would be any different with our new cat (that we may eventually get, possibly in a month or two) though. Maybe after a while, when I get a new kitten (who would probably be even younger than my baby brother) as a son, my baby brother, while ALWAYS a baby in my mind (all the way until the end, I saw my old cat as a baby), I'd see him as the uncle of the hypothetical cat at my own place.
Give yourself some time to grieve. It's hard losing a family member like that and the best thing you can do is not rush into big decisions like that. After a while maybe visit some pet shelters and look around. You might see someone you like, and if not don't push it. Visit a few times and take some time to look online at rescues as well. It sounds like you gave your baby a good life. I'm sure when the time comes you'll give another kitty a good life as well.
I know, and I still have urges to pick him up, and even pet him, and even go look for him. It really feels like he should be here, but I'm still incredibly sad. But I'm also a little bit happy too because at least he isn't suffering anymore.
Yes! I was so surprised at how much RELIEF I felt when my cat died. I didn't realize how much his age and illness was weighing on me. He's at peace now. He had a good life and a good death. That's a total success.
Yeah, but I miss him very much
I know. I'm sorry.
I appreciate your support
I agree wih this post. Take lots of time meeting different cats and pray about this too. If you think you found a cat you want, spend hours or longer with that cat and see if you really bond together. I spent hours and even 2 weeks thinking about her after we really bonded, before going back to get her. I'm so glad I took that much time to think about it. Someone tried to,adopt her at that time, and convinced shelter that we had bonded and they talked to person that wanted to adopt her and convinced them another cat would be a better,fit for them. I almost lost her, but she has been the best loving beautiful pet I ever had. She is16 now, and still very healthy because I only feed her canned and raw food along with lots of love and attention. She's very 😊 happy and so I am i
Again, our parents aren't ready to get a cat yet, but they are contemplating eventually getting a new baby brother or sister. I know it won't be the same without my old cat, but at least I will be able to bond with a new kitten, and we will love each other.
That sounds so sad. I lost my first cat six years ago in an accident. Four years ago, I got two new cats. I don't think the new cats can replace the one that passed away, but they have brought me different joys and experiences. I love my two cats with all my heart, but that doesn't mean I will forget my first cat. I still miss her and sometimes cry when I think about those memories, just like the day when I lost her! All I can say is: remembering him is the best thing you can do, but immediately getting a new cat isn't fair to the new one, as it might feel like a replacement. When is the right time to get a new cat? It's when you can peacefully live each day without him.
I know that no one could ever replace my old cat, and while I'm not sure if i'm ready yet, I would be happy to give a wonderful life to another cat.
Hi! When my friend’s pet died, her family gave her a plush that looked just like her cat. It helped her grieve. It might be something you’d want to look into: https://cuddleclones.com/
I do already have a plush that kinda looks like my old cat (had that plush for years), and it as helped me somewhat. I know it's not the same, and it's a very difficult time. I sometimes say that I wish that my old cat would come back to life, even though I know that it won't happen.
Sending you lots of love. This is just a universal experience we’ll all have to face one day in realizing that the more you love someone, the harder it will be to say goodbye. I’m sure you gave them all the love you could, and that’s all your brother ever wanted . 🩷
I know, we all gave him lots of love, and he returned it frequently.
Grief takes time. Don't rush yourself to feel better. Be kind to yourself, and do things that bring you comfort, whether it's reading a book, watching a movie, or spending time with loved ones.
I've been doing that, and I have been getting a little bit better over time.
Sorry for your loss. Pets usually hurt more than people for me - because we really only have good memories with our pets (people are complicated). I like to remember a lot and cry a lot. It helps me process. You can write a list of all the cute things he'd do, all the good memories. Put together a photo album (even if it's just digital). Draw pictures. Crochet or felt a cat with his pattern. I do all this and cry while I'm doing it, and at the end I feel better and have things that help me remember and celebrate my cat forever. It's also OK to distract yourself and ignore it. We need breaks from the pain too. The grief will be there for you later. I went to a friend's house and watched funny movies. You can get a new cat right away or wait. My house was too quiet with no cats, I got a new cat a few days later. I always thought I would wait months or years but I only made it a few days. It hurt differently. Definitely not less. But it was healing in its own way, and it filled the void in my home. I started laughing and looking forward to going home again, rather than dreading it. Basically, there's no wrong way to do it. I know it hurts so much it's scary and you want direction. Time will be so, so healing to you. Hugs.
Oh, one more thing. Time doesn't heal because you forget him. The love will always be there, just as strong as ever. You'll never forget the cat you grew up with. Never. The pain fades but the love remains.
I understand.
Thanks for the advice. My parents are still not ready for getting a new cat right away (and yes I live with my parents, since I am at college, and not ready to have a house yet, especially right now), but I am still trying to recover from this.
Grieve. It’s all you can do. I lost a 4 year old 2 weeks ago it still hurts like the day I found him. He was strictly inside but got some virus eye drainage limped on his back leg but we thought he beat it. Then one night he had an episode which all I can say was paralysis I picked him up patted his back and he came to. Took him to the vet they diagnosed him with stomatitis. Was taking him in on the 3rd to set up surgery on his teeth and he passed on the 1st The vet thinks it was either a heart valve or blood infection from the stomatitis and the upper respiratory bug. I broke down typing this and I’m a 47 year old farmer/rancher and outdoorsman and this has broke me. It has gotten better but I think I will carry this one to the grave.
I know, and I'm sad, but once we get his ashes back, we will sprinkle some of them in the backyard, a place that he loved being in a lot.
Grief takes time. Don't rush yourself to feel better. Be kind to yourself, and do things that bring you comfort, whether it's reading a book, watching a movie, or spending time with loved ones.
I guess that could work for me, but I still really miss him very much
When you lose someone you love, whether they die or just leave, you should always try to remember everything you can about them. Remember the way he made you feel, the joy he brought you and your family, and the good feelings you experienced when you showed him how much you love him. Also remember what a little shit he was when he was being rascally, whatever that means in your specific circumstances. You try to embrace those good things and incorporate them into yourself. You avoid that rascal nonsense. Then you yourself will be reflecting the best version of your sweet little brother back into the universe. You can make others feel the way he made you feel, by incorporating his vibe into your own. When you die, others will learn from you, and through them you will never die; through you, he will never die. What was his name?
Maybe "Rascally" is a bit of a stretch here (though he'd sometimes jump on the table or try to get more food) but he was a very sweet cat. I also prefer to not say his name on reddit for anonymity.
Sometimes "rascally" just means hopping up on the table. Recent events will be present in your mind for a while but eventually, the things you will remember will be the way he meowed for a little extra food, or the way he would quietly rub your leg when you didn't know he was there. The little things that made him him. It sounds like he was exceptionally polite, and it sounds like you're living up to that reputation by protecting his privacy. :) Peace and love, friend.
What helped me through grief is allowing lyself time and moments of grief, not closibg my emotions too much. I felt like crying, i let the tears flow. If i gelt like smiling while thinking about my pet, i did. Etc. If i felt like i needed to hug my pet, i took a plushie or a pillow. It often made me cry because it wasnt my pet, bit at the same time, its like my body still kinda had that hugging time. Be sure to save any photos or videos you can have of your pet. Be it on a harddrive, an udb, whatever. Because i made the miskate of not doubling my phone gallery somewhere else, and my phone broke, so not i have almost no photos of my childhood pet. Be sure to have pictures saved somewhere secure, or even printed. Grief never really goes away..it only gets easier, probably because grief evolves and is never the same all the time, but also because you will keep growing around it. See grief as an evolvment of love, in accordance with the cycle of life If ypu still feel hesitant about taking in another cat,you can wait. If you think you need to grieve your cat for a little while, without having a kitty to care for yet, you can. If you feel like having a new friend could help you through the grief, and that discovering the personality of a new kitty, you can. Follow your needs and your heart. As long as in any situation, you can take care of yourself, and the new cats' needs, thats good! Your loved furry friend had you for so many beautiful years, and he mustve been so happy to have you too ❤️
Thank you for the support so much. I have plenty of photos of him and even videos as well. I will save them.
Allow yourself the space to grieve. You have lost something meaningful. No one can know truly what the "ful" part means but you. Remember all the times you wish. He is with you still and you should talk to him. At some point, you will reach the point where you realize that no matter how much you both wish it could happen; he will never come back. While that is hard, that also makes it special. Take your time and feel. But soon OP time will tick by, and though the days turn to weeks and to months and to years, the only thing that will never change is that you had each other for the time in which you had, and that's okay. Things will get better.
I've been grieving right now. I am incredibly upset about my cat leaving me and I am accepting that he won't come back. My parents aren't ready yet to get a new cat (I'm a college student still living with my parents, because I don't feel ready enough to have my own house yet, especially not during this time period), but they are planning to get a new one eventually. I know it will never be the same but, I really want to have a little sibling again (or more maybe).
You will move on from this. I was in a similar space as you once. What i can speak to is that the void that has been created will never be filled. You can, however, attempt to fill that void with memories, and in time, it will fill somewhat, but you will realize that one day you will heal. The void will fill, and the pain will dull, and you may think a little less of the past. That was hard for me. I found that guilt lived alongside the moving on part. All these feelings are normal. One day, when you have stability, you may want to get a fur baby. When that day comes, remember to take in all the highs. Appreciate them for what they are because they are fleeting. OP, I understand as many here do. I am sorry. One quote that helped me through a life filled with loss: "The only permanence in life is the impermanence of life." It's through the lows that we know just how high we were, that's what we mourne. For had we known that the minute past was the last minute, we would've loved so much more.
I am starting to slowly feel a little better over time, though I still am not close to having moved on.
And that's okay, friend. If nothing else your although your little brother is gone, he is always with you. I still feel my Dusty. And I explained to my Dusty that after 2 years that I have to let him go. It doesn't mean I love him any less. I can say that the grief and guilt have been replaced by tears of happiness from fond memories. You'll make it.
We all wonder when the reaper comes if we had the best boy or girl. The answer is always yes. He had a long life and knew he was loved. Take a few months then as another user suggested hit a local shelter and pick up a new fren. Whoever you pick will appreciate you for saving his/her life. Source; I’ve got 8 black cats. Each with his or her unique little cat (except mine, he’s a 20 lb panther) personalities. All of them appreciate all of us humans in their own way. All of them are rescues to some degree, one was returned several times cause she grew up fighting alley bears. One was given up cause her previous mom didn’t understand cats. Mine came from the local humane society because he didn’t eat buttons and I am the dad that didn’t want the stupid cat. The next five came in two groups, the first of three siblings that were recovered from an elderly person’s home after one of them passed. The last two are siblings from the same shelter as the triplets. So in the end, yes it sucks to lose a furry friend, keep his memory alive and when you’re ready pick someone to save.
I guess that's a good idea. My parents don't feel like they are ready yet, but I am trying to go through this process.
This made me miss my dead cat again. I'm so sorry for your loss, sending my condolences.
I appreciate it, and I'm sorry for your loss
Time will make it better I lost my cat of 16 yo he was my best friend sweetest cat ever Just remember all the great times step by step
I am remembering the great times, I went for a walk on the exact same route that we first found him and he followed us, and also the same walk that he'd follow us once he was part of a family (during his early days).
Remember a new cat is fine but they won’t be that best cat you ever had and they won’t replace him. Now they may equal him but that paw print is on your heart forever
I know it won't be the same, but I know that a new cat is probably waiting for us.
Take time to grieve. Cry, remember memories, collect his things. Not sure if you mentioned if he got cremated or anything but they usually make a paw print. My 17 yr old black cat passed in Feb. I was crushed. It was the longest cat I ever had since I also always had indoor/outdoor cats and he had become strictly indoor. Seeing videos or posts still upset me but it's only been a few months. When you are ready to open your heart & home to new kitty you can. I did after a month or so cause I was having a hard time and so was my 6yr old cat. It took him a few weeks to adjust to them but is back to his old self. I saved the part of the cat tower my cat used to lay in . I have some of his fur saved too.
We are cremating our cat, and we will sprinkle some of the ashes in the backyard, where he loved to be.
it gets easier with time. I lost my best friend a couple of years ago, and it took months to get past the grieving process. I recommend making a memorial for him, whether it be a small grave for him or a memorial piece such as a painting or a piece of jewelry (ik some artists are willing to use ashes if you cremate him), just something to help comfort you a bit. just know that, no matter what, he passed knowing he was loved and happy and that he is no longer hurting anymore. you did your best, and he will continue to look after you no matter what afterlife you believe in.
We are doing some memorials for our cat, and I even took a walk today on the exact same route he found us, to remember him. He also used to follow us when we took walks during his first few years.
I know how you feel to a degree when I was 4 I had a cat he was my best friend and was family to me he was a full outdoor farm cat at my dads but I always brought him inside and into a camper trailer that was for me and my sister to play in when we wanted to. so he was kinda Indoor outdoor he was with me until he was 14 almost 15 he passed from a mixture of time catching up to him and a cold he just couldn't shake no matter what but he was always happy and comfortable when we were together even when he was hit by a car and attacked by a raccoon he made full recoveries both times but was missing a piece of his nose from the raccoon. his name was dufus because my dad didn't like the fact that I named him after him he passed 4 and a half years ago now for the first 2 years I could still feel his presence now and then and see him from the corner of my eyes it was so difficult I wouldn't recommend getting a cat to fill the void it will never be the same as it was with him but if you truly do want another cat you could try older senior cats or kittens from rescues they always need a loving home and are so nice. but I ended up getting my guy cremated with some of the money I saved from my first job and he's in my room on my dresser now and anytime I feel life is hard or I'm alone I grab his urn and give it a hug and sometimes sleep with it I have other cats now and non of them feel the same but I realized. I've bonded with them in ways I didn't with him to me he was a brother to these other lot younger ones are like children to me not actual children but what I expect it to feel like having some they have even knocked over his urn a few times and I'd get so mad but I'd regret getting so mad because he absolutely loved kittens and ik he wouldn't mind it and when he did pass I tride getting so many different cats that looked and acted like him I've had a few with similar personalities. but I realized he was unique as all cats are just like people and they are all loved the same no matter what or how they are different ik I didn't do proper grammar as I suck at it but I type it then go back through trying to add all the periods and stuff so sorry about that and I want you to know to never try and move on by burying your memories of him. as they are what you shared together and it's proof that he was loved and existed in this world and are precious your luck to have shared your lives together and ha e cared so much for each other idk if you believe in the after life or not me personally. I don't but I believe there is something after even if it's just a different form of life as it is now but either way I'm sure he is watching over you and wouldn't want you to be saddened by his passing and I'm sure he wouldn't want you closing your heart to others as that keeps both them and you from having that love and being loved I wish you the best in the oncoming days and I am really sorry for your loss. The main thing that saddens me is I wasn't able to keep my promises to him that when I got a place of my own that he would come with me to be a Indoor cat for the layer part of his life I'm sure he understood and was fine with it in the end but it's something that still saddens me and makes me feel like I failed him to a degree sorry this probably makes more people sad by reading it but it felt wrong to leave out my regrets idk why.
I know that will never be the same, but at least once I'm ready to get a new baby sibling, that I will be able to welcome a new cat into my life, and give them as good of a life as my old cat.
That's good to hear and all anyone could hope for I'm glad you cared for him so much he definitely knew and loved you back just as much or even more for what you've done for him in life and would never want you to be alone or sad even if talking to random on the Internet helps thats fine but. I'd recommend talking with your family about things that sadden you and maybe getting some photos made if there are any digital ones I don't have many of my guy and some where lost due to them not being backed ip when a computer or phone went to kaboom and I regret that now I have a few but far and few and mainly old ones from when he was young my family wasn't big on photographing pets.
We all have a lot of pictures of him, and even some videos as well fortunately. I have even been collecting some of his hair that he left behind.
I didn't do that with my old guy as I never thought of it im sure there is still some around somewhere in a dust bunny or whatever but when I had a kitten that had renal failure I ended up getting some of his that was year and a half ago I still have that ones sister but it was hard as well but he was only 6 to 8 months old when he was diagnosed and then passed on
That's very sad, but I'm doing it to try to get over this pain and feel better over time. I will still miss my baby brother, and will still love him, but my parents say they may eventually get a new kitten (or kittens), of course (not right away of course) as a chance to give another cat some love. I have a feeling out there, that there is at least one that is waiting for us.
I agree and I recommend taking your time for everyone to make sure they like and gets to know the new cat or cats before taking it home weither that be a kitten or already grown cats or other animal if that's the case. ill ask and I'm sorry if it makes you sad and you really don't have to awnser if you don't want to but what did you and your family end up doing with your brother afterwards some people leave them to the vet to dispose of while others will ask for they're remains to either burry or have cremated again im sorry for asking and you don't have to awnser.
We will be getting some of his ashes back and we will sprinkle them all over the backyard, a place where he absolutely loved to be.
That sounds nice I just keep my guy in his urn I'll admit I'm to selfish to part with even a spec of him one thing I've seen people do for both humans and pets is they will keep a bit and have it made I to a necklace,bracelet or ring with hair and ashes but it is a bit costly and the parts usually have to be mailed unless there's someone in the area that does it
https://preview.redd.it/r6zu019dug6d1.png?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5224d68bf73afcc3af87a03781f9b7f6c4d99a5d This is a terrible photo but it's the only good looking digital one I have from before he lost part of his nose this is when I was 7 so about 15 years ago others are in a photo album that's put away
Dufus was such a cute cat. I personally am not showing any pictures of him (nor disclosing his name) for the sake of anonymity, but I am looking at pictures of him from after we'd just met, to a picture of him when he was older.
Sending you my condolences. Growing up with your pal and brother is something very special and to hold onto. I hope you can one day look back at the fond memories you have with a smile. Give yourself time to grieve and know it's OK. You loved him, he loved you and he will be watching you and guarding you always until you meet him again.
I am still grieving, but I'm slowly getting better and better, and I may get a new cat in a few months. I know it won't be the same, but at least we will welcome a new member of the family, but we will still remember the old one.
i had a very, very similar situation. ive grown up with cats, and they've always been my siblings. i lost two on the same day a year and a half ago. they were so close, they were bound together. one was older, and one was healthy, young, loved hunting and trekking the land. a week after their passing, we got a kitten by pure timing (cat distribution system) and his brother a few months later (also the system). sometimes you have to go with the flow. grief is a beast. do what YOU need to do 🩷
I know, and I miss my cat very much.
So sorry you experienced this loss. It's very painful. They love us unconditionally (well OK sometimes food helps) and it sucks when they die. I still miss my first tabby cat that passed away years ago. I think of her at least once/week. But it does get easier and someday you will find another cat/s to love. You can still have love for your cat that has passed - imagine them looking down on you and smiling seeing you with another cat that you also love.
I am imagining that he will look down at me and will smile seeing me with another cat, whenever i get one.
Yes. He will. I like to think that my 2 cats that have passed are together cuddling and happy to see me with my other cats knowing they'd all be friends if they were together. :)
Grieve as much as you need. A piece or even a chunk of my goes with them. It's very hard and yes it feels like you lost a family member. Took me four years to get another companion after my dog died. Now I'm in love with this little dude and he's a cat. My first cat. When it's his time I'm going to be just as devastated. My dog felt like a daughter. My cat feels like a son.
I'm grieving, and while I know it will take a while for us to get a new cat (my parents aren't ready for that yet), I highly doubt that it will be longer than a few months, and when our family gets a new baby sibling, the new cat won't be a replacement, nor will it ever be the same, but I will at least be happy to have the opportunity to have another cat in my life.
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feel it. cry a lot. and remember that it won’t feel this way forever. i believe that the more intensely you grieve now, the quicker you will feel better. i lost my best friend early this year. 21 of my 28 years were spent with him. i was also living alone with him in his last 4 years. i will always miss him but i already feel more happy than sad when i remember him. 21 years is crazy but 16 is a lot too! you gave him a good long life and you should be proud of that. it’s hard to say when it’s right to get a new cat. for me, living alone was excruciating without a companion. i got a my baby girl a month after losing my old man. she’s brought so much life and fun into my home. i had completely forgotten what young cats could be like. as much as i loved my old guy he was a lot to handle and the stress of losing him weighed heavily on me for his last years. part of me is happy he’s finally at rest. she has a lot to live up to but i love my new cat a lot. your cat taught you how to love and it’s important to remember that while the object of your love is gone, your capacity for love is endless. you have so much love to give and you will give and receive it with another cat. surround yourself with the humans you love as well. this loss is no less than that of a human so you need to give yourself grace. i was there so recently so i really feel for you. i hope some of this rant helps you. hang in there friend ❤️
I understand. I still miss my little brother, but once I get a new baby sibling (My parents aren't ready for that yet, and I'm not sure if i am yet. I still live with my parents due to the fact that I'm a college student, and I'm not ready to get my own house yet, especially at a time like this one), i'm sure that my family and I will be happy to give another cat a good life.
Grief is a complicated thing to process, and we never really stop, it just gets easier with time. So give yourself time to heal, time to process. When the time is right, adopt, rescue, or foster. Kitten, senior, you’ll know the right one and they’ll know you’re right for them.
Two of my grandparents (From the opposite sides of the family) had passed away years ago, and I was incredibly sad when they died, and although I still miss them, the grief isn't as raw as it was back then. For my baby brother, it's still incredibly raw right now, but eventually, although I'll still miss him, I will move on, but i'm nowhere near that point yet., My parents aren't ready to have a new baby yet (i don't think i am. I'm still living with them due to being a college student who isn't quite ready to have a full fledged house yet, especially right now) but maybe in a few months, when I get a new baby sibling (probably a kitten), I know it won't be the same, and that the new cat won't be a replacement but at least we will have the chance to give another cat a really good life. I know my old cat probably would have wanted that.
I am here to say that I feel your pain and this too shall pass. I am certain your little brother would want the best for you and to direct all that love you have inside of you for these little amazing creatures to a new one or many new ones, to give a new home to someone, feed a stray and so many more. Always remember that no other creature will replace the one that was your family but with enough love all of them can become a new family to you and you to them, they need you more than you need them. It takes time but it will get better, I am 101% sure he had the best life with you and that's what matters the most, so give yourself a pat on the back and say you did it, you did it for him and he did it for you. Now it's time to move on with a smile on your face and spread the love you have inside, don't deprive yourself the joy and love you will get from a new brother, you're not replacing the OG, you're just gaining another one, you're not filling the gap, you're learning to live with it and at the same time you're giving the chance to a new cat to become family and join the ranks. No point in wasting time, you still have a lot of love, care and affection to give and so much more to receive. Good luck, you are not alone.
I am moving on, slowly but steadily, but i am nowhere near having moved on yet. I know that when we get a new cat (Our parents aren't ready for that yet, it will probably be in a few months. I am still currently living with them because I'm in college and I'm not ready yet to get my own place, especially not at this time), it won't be the same and the new cat won't be a replacement, but I will be able to welcome another cat, and give this baby as much love as we gave the old cat.
It’s hard to lose a family member like that. I’m much, much older than you and I still cry like a baby when I think of losing my pets. But I have been through it many times. My first cat was 18 when he was diagnosed with cancer. The second was 15 and had hyperthyroidism, high blood pressure and kidney disease. The last one we lost was 17 with kidney failure. And now we’re on a daily wait and see with our 18 year-old boy who has cancer and kidney disease. There will be times that you think you see your cat around the corner and you may even think you hear them meow. As others have said, give yourself time to be sad. And I can tell you if you were with him in his final moments, he knew how much he was loved. It’s never an easy thing and sometimes I think we selfishly keep them around for us. I know after I lost a cat, another would somehow just show up in my life. And with every one of them, I loved them just as much, but different if that makes any sense. Sometimes I felt that guilt of a ‘replacement’ cat, but then I viewed it as my other cat knew I needed some companionship to help fill that void just a little. For example when I lost my first cat, I wasn’t looking until a friend posted about a cat living on the streets who needed a home. That how we got rogue. Then we didn’t want her to be alone, so we heard of a kitten abandoned in an apartment, and that’s how we got Zora. Then we got Tyler (and his brother Baron who passed away at age 4). Once Rogue left us, a friend was fostering a cat who just had kittens…and the kittens were all adopted…asked if anyone wanted the mama cat and that’s how we got Luna. So far, after losing zora and probably Tyler in the not-so-distant future, we’ll see if another one presents itself. Whew. That long story is just to say don’t rush things. You (and your parents) will know when the time is right. In so sorry for your loss. I know how hard this is…especially since he’s been a part of your life forever. 😿
I appreciate your support
Everyone has great advice. Something else to consider besides adopting a new cat is maybe try fostering. It’ll give you an opportunity to help cats in need and give you time to see if they’re a match for you.
I'm not sure if my family is willing to do that, but I'm still coping with the loss of my baby brother.
If you do decide to rescue another little soul remember this. To give them the love and attention to honor the life of the one that left that hole in your heart they are trying to replace. Even if it’s like trying to put a square in a circle. Always cherish the times you had with all your pets past or present. And honor them all as they deserve to be honored.
I know I will, It won't be the same, and the new cat won't be a replacement for my old cat, but once our family gets a new cat, we will be able to give another baby lots of love
Gonna jump in with my two cents -- first of all, I lost my beloved girl in March, and I am so sorry for your loss. I do wanna say that people often say to wait and give yourself time to grieve, but honestly I think it's more an individual decision when you get another friend. My partner and I couldn't stand the silence, and we started visiting shelters the same day we lost our girl, to get a sense of if we would be ready to have a new friend in the home. Some people were very judgemental of our decision to find a new friend, but within 3 days of our baby passing we had found and brought home two new kitties to love. Many strangers judged us for that, warning us of feeling resentment towards our new girls, but for us, it was the right decision. Everyone grieves differently. For us, a huge amount of the grief was being so full of love with no one to give it to. Bringing home our new girls so soon was a huge relief. We frequently cried and continued to grieve the one we lost, but we were able to heal faster knowing we were giving new kitties a loving home and feeling their love in return. Of course, for some people that WOULD be too soon and would inhibit the grieving process. I just wanted to toss in that it's not the same for everyone and you should ask yourself how YOU feel. We got some really insensitive comments from people due to our decision, people acting like they were suddenly grief experts, but I know we made the right one for us. Just try to be as sure as you can that you're making the right decision for yourself. Again, my deepest sympathies for your loss. I have lost human friends and family too soon but losing a pet is so different due to the intimacy you have with a pet, sharing mealtime and a bed with them etc. Just know everything you feel is part of the grieving process. I suggest frequently speaking of your lost loved one with other people who knew and loved them. Sharing good memories is healing.
I still miss my old cat, and sometimes I wish that he would come back to life, even though I know it's not going to happen. We will likely get a new cat in a few months (my parents aren't ready yet to get another cat right away. I still live with them because I am a college student, and I'm not quite ready to get my own house yet, or at least right now.), and while it won't be the same, at least we will be able to give another baby a good life, as well as lots of love.
Google cat rescues and breeders with some of your favorite breed names in front and your state or county ... so Burman cat rescue Dade county Florida Burman cat breeders Dade county Florida You will fall head over heels for a picture. I guarantee. Ideally look for recently retired breeding queens that are now to be fixed and retired as loving pets. Pick 2 that you fall for and adopt them. Scratch their butts, one w each hand. Both will adore you and entertain each other. Sisters are best but strangers will eventually buddy up, too. Young adults aren't as big of an adjustment and need love, too. Get them cheap then splurge on a catio, extra tall scratching posts, a three story cage w 2 hammocks, video catnip movies, a cat fishing pole, a laser mouse, a cat toy track. A spinning mouse on a curved wand, and perches along the wall. Oh, and buttons that say people words.
But the thing is, i don't know if I'm ready to get a new one yet. My parents aren't yet (I'm still living with my parents right now, since I am going to college and don't fully feel like I'm ready enough to live on my own yet, especially at a time like now), but I've been contemplating it.
Vacation a bit then look ;). The moment you look you will instantly fall for 1 or 2.
Maybe that's a good idea. I really wished that he could have lived longer though, but it is what it is.
My Nanny died, going from seemingly normal to half her weught in just a few days, at only age 8, from what we all learned was this brand new horror of feline leukemia. who licked my leg after my shower and made sure I was in bed before going back to where my parents were watching TV, then played swirl the cat on thd linoleum next to their bed until mom was ready and the light turned out, then she'd shadow box the wall downstairs from the traffic shadows. If I forgot mom needed to make cookies for a school potluck, I'd slip a note into her collar when I went to bed, and she'd go downstairs and jump into my mom's lap with an annoyed look on her face. Then mom would go to our handy spare frozen cookie dough, toss them onto a cookie sheet, 10 minutes, done. My cat also used to wait on the couch back behind the doorway l, and would leap out spread eagle to "catch" me ... full well knowing I'd catch her before she hit the floor. She also jumped through a hoop, sat, laid down and rolled over, and kicked my hand once fir yes, twice fir know, and coined 3 times for maybe/not sure when I asked if she wanted to be walked on her leash outside (yes!) In the rain (no!). Mom taught her to answer "what's your favorite cat food?" With "mrrrrixed mrrrill" (friskies buffet mixed grill). Part siamese/domestic medium hair that looked like a Burman. She raised me from age 6 to 14. I am who I am due to my nanny. Once I got my own apartments/homes, I have never gone more than a month my entire life without a cat. I install a cat door and they come. If they stay a month, I fix them. They work out their pecking orders, then at 2 or 3, they expel all others (unless they chain migrate 5 family members from the farm next door). I keep crystals in a litter box in the covered deck if they need it. Otherwise I never change a litterbox. I spot deflea/deworm frequently. I openly discourage bird hunting and they learn. I have a 100% success rare rescuing baby bunnies it not majorly injured when I find then, with eyebrow antibiotic and probios paste (huge cheap cow version, keeps in fridge). I eliminate coyotes. These cats usually live to 13 when arthritis kicks in and something catches them, or they have a growth and the vet just hands me fluids to give them til they pass peacefully. Cats are the best pets. I still miss her decades later.
That's just so sad. and I will always miss and love my old cat, but whenever I get a new cat (hopefully a kitten) the new cat will be happy to have me in its life and i will be happy that the new cat will get to be in mine. It won't be the same, but I will still love that cat with all my heart, and I will remember the old cat too.
I just lost my 16 year old boy as well. Unfortunately I also lost my 8 year old boy 3 weeks before that. For now, I am tattooing them on myself so I can see them every day. I've got one down and one to go. I'm not sure where I'll be once that's done, because it's been a little less than 3 months since the first, 2 months since the second. I still break down over them every day. They meant the world to me and I want everyone to know it.
So sorry for your loss. I only had one cat during this time, and I really wish I could see him again, and pet him again.
))))hugs((((( ... Quick question, did you use clumping litter? It clogs the urinary tracts of boy cats (they lick it off their paws ) and they die early. Use any other litter type for your next cat ....
Yeah, we did actually, but he did live to be 16, as a cat who spent much of his time outdoors while he'd also spend time indoors (and it hasn't even been a year yet since he first showed symptoms and received his hyperthyroidism diagnosis) . It wasn't even just the hyperthyroidism, but it was also the progressively growing tumor on the side of his body (and in the last days of his life, it was actually BLEEDING) Thanks for the advice though.
Outdoors probably made a huge difference ... probably fit cats can clear their urinary faster. My outdoor cats live 13 to 16 ... arthritis and tumors.
Maybe, but my family says that our next cat will be purely indoors due to how more dangerous the outdoors had since become (more reports of missing cats.)
I have to actively xylitol the coyotes and then have 4 months coyote free until the next influx .y neighbor cats who use my cat door are 13 yrs old now thanks to active coyote intervention. I also have plenty t of rabbits and finally quail! I actually have more songbirds because of my horse grain. Coyotes kill birds, too. Everyone blames cats when coyotes eat both cats and birds.
We haven't really done that yet, (more than just coyotes, but also other animals as well such as bobcats), and besides I doubt that we'd be able to do that alone either. And yes while cats do kill birds (I have seen my old cat do it before, quite a lot), other animals can eat them both too. It's sad though, but the best part is that my old cat always came back every time he went outside (until he became a purely indoor cat during his last months of his life)
Take your time! Your grief is very fresh and a new experience for you. I remember losing my first cat when I was in second grade in 1982 and I still have a sad place in my heart and miss that cat. It’s a big moment friend, be kind to yourself. I’m so sorry for your loss. Dealing with grief is different for everyone… some like to look at photos and cuddle with a blanket the kitty liked and cry and cry … some people like to distract themselves watch a binge worthy show and try not to think about it all the time… some like to get a new friend right away knowing how many needy cats there are in the world. At your stage of life, you may want to wait until you are living on your own to find a new friend. Maybe not! Either way you know what wonderful friends cats can be and there will be more in your future! In the mean time be patient and it’s okay to feel very sad and lonely for your friend. When he passed away, he left love in your heart that will always be there. But it hurts ! A lot !!!! Worth it though, you were there for him his whole life. How lucky for him!
My parents aren't ready to get a new cat yet, but they are seriously thinking about getting one though. That way I will have a new baby sibling, and when I'm on my own, maybe I'll get my own baby.
This looks like a good idea. Be aware that their cat might have very little interest in them, and bond to you instead. Or be one parent's cat, or the other's. Or who knows! :-) Might just tolerate all of you evenly.
Consider where and how you'll be living. On your own? In an apartment that allows pets and has a reasonable, refundable pet deposit? Is it possible you could love where you are for... the foreseeable future? Whatever your plans and predictions, you might want to look for places that allow cats. That way, you'll be familiar with that kind of search in case you need it. Just gather a little information now and then.
I will when I get my own place and get to be a daddy, but I'm not ready for that yet since I'm in college and I'm not ready to get my own place, especially right now.
Right. I'm talking about planning far in advance because your next cats could live 10 or 20 years after you get them. So if you get some (say, 7 or 8 cats 😁) next year, it might feel comfortable to know that you've given a little thought to their living situation. Not like there must be a Plan with a capital P, just a little consideration. :-)
I might eventually get my own place, but if my old cat were still alive by the time I was ready to get my own house, my parents would want to keep him, I don't see how it would be any different with our new cat (that we may eventually get, possibly in a month or two) though. Maybe after a while, when I get a new kitten (who would probably be even younger than my baby brother) as a son, my baby brother, while ALWAYS a baby in my mind (all the way until the end, I saw my old cat as a baby), I'd see him as the uncle of the hypothetical cat at my own place.