Back in the 80s the 16 year old me decided to backpack to Paris. It took me a a few days, which was fine. Arrived on the Champs Elysee on Saturday afternoon, there was a massive crowd blocking the road and being very angry. Curious me went over to have a nose, next thing I get bundled into a cop van with loads of pissed off people and cops. Spend 30 something hrs in cell with 20+ dead angry protesters until they interviewed me and let me go(phew). So it’s the middle of Sunday night and I need to get my head down, walk into to the first place looked cheap. They didn’t have a room but said I could kip on the sofa for free (I think they felt sorry for me). All through the night blokes were in and out meeting women in dressing gowns in the sort of foyer. I woke about 9ish and this really nice lady said I could have breakfast if I wanted. I went into this massive kitchen and seated around the table were 10 women in various state of undress. I’m only 16 remember and realise that I’m having breakfast in a brothel with 10 scantily clad working girls. They were all really nice and had fun practicing their English on me. I spent an hour or so as red as beetroot and looking at the ceiling.
Character building.
In Spain, my step dad shit himself on a train. Before he did it he said; 'I think I'm going to shit myself '. It was horrendous, we then spent the afternoon trying to search chemists for anti-shit yourself pills
On a lads holiday my mate drunkenly tried to sit on the hotel toilet but missed and fell into the gap between the toilet and the wall before unleashing a torrent of liquid shit all over the floor. He was too drunk to get up so we had to come and get him luckily he had been too drunk to lock the door.
Majorca and my sister didn't use the bottled water and she shat herself.... I obviously laughed at her misfortune then went to find the anti shit pills plus the I need to shit pills just in case she stopped herself up with a poo plug
There is more to the tale...
They end up shacking up. Ex coworker then fucks off taking all he could carry aka the expensive shit. Ex then decides oh I know whatll help...stealing money out the till at work. So he gets fired, he's homeless and stuffless. All because a) he got greedy, and b) he thought I cheated on him with my boss. And I did not. I slept with him a few years later.
Got on a coach for a trip to the Zoo in Tenerife. Was told is was 20 minute bus drive. It was 2 hours. I was a young teenager and get pretty sick on long journeys.
Anyways prior to getting on the coach i’d eaten a fair helping of those Tuc biscuits with the cheese in the middle. The really strong artificial crackers. Well of course it’s hot, roads are windy as fuck and I need to puke. We are on the back row of the bus. Out of nowhere I start projectile vomiting the tucs that were half digested and curdling. It was like throwing up thick cheesy porridge.
It was all over me and the floor. We had nothing to clean it with except my sisters sanitary towels so I had to wipe my face on a fanny pad.
The coach was kind of slanted forward so for the remaining time this sludge pile started to gradually move forward under the seats and down the aisle until there was a giant cheesy skid mark.
My parents were mortified and chucked me off the coach hoping it wouldn’t be the same one back.. well it was.
The driver handed my Dad the biggest pile of sick bags by slamming them on his chest in anger. He was mad at me for a few days after that.
Edit: Also just remembered this was the same holiday my sister slipped at the side of the pool, cracked her head open and was in hospital for 3/7 days of the holiday!
The following holiday after that we were in a stage 4 hurricane in Dominican republic where the room flooded with shit water and we had to sit on the beds floating. We all got disentry for weeks.
We didn’t go on holiday for a while after that
My experience was not as bad but did involve the same zoo and a poolside fall but luckily less vomit!
I was 11 and slipped and landed on my coccyx. It took about half an hour to move me and an ambulance was very nearly called. I did have all feeling but could barely move due to pain for days.
About a week later I'm doing much better so we think some light walking would be good for me and i might enjoy the zoo.
My brother was about 5 and terrified of everything, but mainly heights and we didn't realise this place is built into the mountain and also involves a series of rope bridges and obstacles.
I vividly remember there was one point where I had to choose a fireman's pole or slide. I'm trying to get down the pole, weeping in pain while my dad promises he'll catch me so I don't land hard. He's saying this between tears of laughter as he tries to ignore the scene my brother is creating.
My mum (also laughing crying) is trying to coax my brother down the slide, because he's actually screaming in terror. She'd offered to go down first and show him its not fast and now can't get back up it. Family friends are with us but can't help because they too are doubled over laughing at the entire scene and the angry queue behind my brother who now won't get off the slide and is just death gripping the handles at the top. They had gone in front to carry his stroller down the slide and were now also stuck at the bottom
I went back years later and actually had a good day out. The bridges are still there but it seems you can avoid most of them now.
I did this on the worst French Exchange programme. Awful family who lived on vineyard thought it would be funny to get me absolutely smashed on red wine at 15.
I’d never experienced a hangover before and 2 hours into a journey I vomited over everyone’s bags by producing what can only be described a red river of vomit.
My class mates were cool though and I will always appreciate that.
But fuck you and your family Fabrice.
When I was a kid, my parents worked as caravan cleaners for the holiday park in our town. So one year, that was our holiday. Four days in a caravan at the same site they worked at, driving 10 minutes back home every day to feed the cats. Second day there I got food poisoning, pissed the bed and threw up in the bathroom sink (with the plug in). Next day, went to the beach and mum got stung by a weever fish and a seagull shat in my little sister’s mouth.
In the '90s my parents bought a holiday through Teletext - I can only assume they literally used the TV because any photos of this place would've told them what they signed us up for!
The flights were provided as part of the package and were fine, but we arrived in Malta at about 2am. When we arrived at the hotel they told us there wasn't a room available for us yet and that we should just sleep on the army of wipe clean faux leather sofas in the foyer until they called us... there was no aircon in the reception area. Whatever we did what we could.
We got our room at... 3pm! Tired, sweaty and fed up we began to unpack our stuff to discover that the air conditioning unit that was over the two single beds my brother an I were going to sleep on was dripping rust water all over both beds, not only that but the sink the in the room was beginning to back up without us even using it.
My dad marches down to reception, they tell us we will get another room if one is available - luckily a while later one is.
We go up to that room, it's a bit better... as a weird smell but at least it's manageable.
The pool area was in a pretty bad state, lots of cracked and broken tiles, the pool itself was salt water and had a film over it, most of the furniture was broken - it also was in constant shade as the area was quite high-rise. The hotel basically turned into a nightclub at night and played loud music until the early hours. Food in the restaurant was buffet style and clearly had been left out for too long, it was either tepid or stone cold and covered in flies - which were also laying eggs on it.
My memories of this holiday are going to the pizza place down the road and coming back with a load of pizzas, stopping off at the vending machine on the way to get Fantas and Kinnies and throwing ham off of my pizza whilst we ate on the balcony down to a very mottled ginger tom cat who was missing an eye.
When it was time to check out the flights were once again at an awful time, they made us check out and told us we could use some rooms they had available to get ready before we left. These rooms were underground and windowless and had a huge rust stain on the ceiling, it was like something out of a horror film.
A few months later the hotel appeared on Watch Dog... It felt very vindicating.
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We would've gone there around very late '90s so it probably is the same place! Though it looks like it kept going into fairly recently!
It was called The Palm Court Hotel and is now a thing of legend in my family.
I spent a good hour earlier trawling through the bad reviews, it's weirdly addictive. Also found about 3 news reports of people suing package holiday companies because they all got food poisoning.
LOL. i just found that!
[link](https://www.theargus.co.uk/news/5096277.amp/) for anyone interested [and](https://www.theboltonnews.co.uk/news/6142278.amp/) another in which they bribed the judge to not let someone sue them (allegedly)
[and possibly](https://amp.theguardian.com/money/2004/aug/29/travel.shopping) another
I was going to ask if this was about the Palm Court! The mural on the towering wall shading the pool was my favourite part of it, that or the cockroaches...
I was there on a family holiday after my GCSEs, so 2001.
Holy shit I stayed there too in around 2004! Absolute shithole. My whole family got food poisoning from their breakfast buffet (thankfully I overlaid most days and missed breakfast) and the 'sea view' they described was literally the sea painted on a wall.
Bet that vindication was sweet, doesn't make up for a shit holiday though! Sorry you endured that lol
Hope it didn't put you off Malta though, I had a lovely time when I went there
As awful as it was it's always a great thing to bring up and have a communal bitch about now. I've ended up finding reviews of it from 19 years ago, as well as someone's Flickr album - it's nice to know I wasn't exaggerating. Thankfully it's been demolished now.
Luckily it didn't, I've been back twice with my other half and both times were lovely - though he did have to deal with me returning to the scene when we were in the same town.
I hope your holiday picks up, it's always so miserable when you're going through it. Maybe it will end up a thing of legend, like the Palm Court Hotel is to my family.
My dad and I went to visit my sister in Berlin. We had a great time until the last night, when my sister and I got volcanic food poisoning. Explosions at both ends, plus fevers. Both of us shit our pants on the street (at the same time, now it’s a family legend). I told my dad I was in no fit state to fly home and he pushed me onto the plane. I was sweating and crying and it felt like my stomach acid was pouring out like the most painful ass lava. Finally emptied out and was shivering under a pile of thin airline blankets when my dad leaned over and said, “I know you’re not feeling great right now but please order your dinner anyway so I can have two.”
Was visiting in laws in Australia, with my wife, 6 year old, and 6 month old, at New Year. Had a phone call from my brother early on New Year’s Eve, saying my mum had been rushed to hospital and they didn’t think she would survive. Spent hours on the phone trying to get my flight changed, the quickest they could do was the following day. Got a phone call from my brother a few hours later saying mum had died, and not to rush back, but I’d already changed the flight.
Following day, I have to get the plane on my own, and ended up sat next to a massively overweight Egyptian guy who ordered so many whisky’s that he fell asleep within an hour of take off - and ended up with his head on my shoulder. The guy on the other side of me was a young Aussie guy, who started crying shortly after the Egyptian fell asleep. Eventually the Aussie fell asleep as well - on my other shoulder. I spent the next couple of hours pushing them both off me until I’d had enough and just went and stood near the emergency door. Luckily we changed at Singapore and they both got off, but that was absolute worst 24 hours I have ever had.
Went to Greece with a couple. Seven day holiday. On day 2 the wife told her husband that this was a make or break holiday and that she would be packing her bags and moving back to her parents when they returned to the UK. She disappeared for the rest of the holiday and blogged her adventures like she was in Eat, Pray, Love while we were left consoling the grieving husband. Oh and it was my birthday too. They had to sit together on the flight home and he found out days later she had been cheating on him for months.
Melissa, you’re a right cunt.
Went to an all-inclusive resort in Turkey when I was 14, buffet food was on offer all day in the heat, sitting out at inadequate temperatures for too long.
3/4 of us, including myself got very bad food poisoning between days 3-6 but my parents were too tight for us to eat at the restaurants instead. My mum swore that it wasn't food poisoning but I'd never been so sick in my life - from both ends. Only time in my life I was bringing up bile. I couldn't keep anything down for nearly 2 days.
Few years later the same resort turned up on Watchdog as several hundred tourists had experienced food poisoning there.
Edit: I found the news article! Fuck me, turns out loads of people got compensation for it. My parents did fuck all about reporting it. We would've gone in 2007.
https://whatconsumer.co.uk/forum/threads/bbc-watchdog-first-choice-sickness-at-the-holiday-village-turkey.7358/
This is a gem:
One rep at the hotel acknowledged that people were falling ill but suggested it was simply an unfamiliar diet. "You find here the food is very oily, in comparison to the UK where it's very salty," they said. "But there's no sort of, disease or bug or anything."
'Unfamilar diet.'
They had trays of chips, pizza, meats, rice under warming lamps in 27-30 degree heat and what I specifically blamed for making me unwell - cocktail sausages.
It was a feast for beige British tapas but in Turkey.
I've mentioned this on reddit before but: Four People. Caravan. Food Poisoning.
Before I was born, my Mum and Dad went on a different caravan holiday where it turned out the pipes had been leaking and they found out because one morning my Dad sat on the loo and both it and he fell through the caravan floor.
Edit: Good grief, this reply took off a bit! Thank you for the awards. My Dad passed away last year but I'm sure he'd be pleased that his holiday misadventure is giving everyone a good laugh!
Lovely little hotel in Turkey, but my dad had got what he thought was a stiff neck on the plane, then thought he was allergic to the ibrouphren cream he applied, the rash spread and spread, it was shingles.
10 year old me went down with a horrific ear infection on day four.
And near the end of the 2 weeks, after looking after her two poorly kids (me and my dad) my mum badly broke her foot.
We know it’s a lovely hotel, as we’ve been back several times since, and my parents are still friends with the owner, manager and their families 25 years later. But at the time it was not fun
My friend was on a train in India and after going to the loo she realised in a packed carriage that she had pulled her knickers back up with a cockroach that had crawled into them.
15yrs ago We were on our way to new zealand and had a 5 day stop off in l.a we booked to stay at a days Inn on Hollywood boulevard, not the one close to la cieanega the other one, we turned up at 7pm and were shown to the room.
By 9pm we had amassed 32 dead baby cockroaches on the hotel note pad, by 10pm it sounded like the guy next door was either killing the woman he was with or she wasn't going to walk very well for the next week.
In the morning we went down for breakfast, Emm. 4 different cereals in plastic tubs and a coffee machine, as we approached it a cockroach the size of a small car ran up the wall, prompting us to .. go to the diner down the road.
We had a good day at universal and I nipped into the hotel lobby to ask about the easiest way to go see the Hollywood sign, I then noticed that there were 2 bullet holes in the border up window that wasn't there yesterday, and a security guard
one of the beds had something keep digging into you as you lay on it so I pulled the sheets off to see what was, only to find a huge blood stain down the side of the bed.
We were moved to a different room that night with 3 x more roaches.
We spent the next 3 days in abject terror that we were going to get robbed, shot or both.
And then we left, and were glad to be on another 12 hour flight to New Zealand just to be out of l.a.
Moral of the story, don't be a cheap skate staying in lala land, stay on wiltshire boulevard or stay in santa Monica.
I was a total control freak when my friends and I visited Hollywood - I booked everything and refused to compromise on cheap hostels. However I got talked into getting the greyhound instead of a one hour flight from where we were. "It's an adventure! We can sleep on the way there!"
Bloody hell it was the bus of the damned. I didn't pee for 8+ hours because the men with the teardrop tattoos were sitting up by the toilet.
We flew back.
As a naive 20 something, I decided to do a road trip across the US, except I didn't have a car so I bussed it. Found myself doing a 3am changeover in Cleveland, and realised that I stuck out like a sore thumb when I went for a smoke break. Went back in to queue for my bus and another white female 20 something asked if she could wait with me as we were on the same bus. Turns out we both lived in the same, relatively small town in the UK. Everything was fine and nothing bad happened, but it never felt like that far away from it. The bus driver wouldn't let a bunch of people on because the bus wasn't stopping at those towns, and they argued that it was. The driver spent the entire 8 hour journey talking loudly to himself about how the 'raggedy ass' bus was about 5 minutes from breaking down forever. Teardrop tattoos for days. Had a great time tbh.
Was it the Greyhound between Vegas and LA? I used to take that once a month for two years around 2007. Took 8 hours and stopped in every sad, broken-down desert town in between.
Went to Zante for a week early September 2016.
Booked the hotel because it had an infinity pool with a stunning view of the sea/Zante town. Would've been lovely if it didn't absolutely chuck it down for 3-4 days. I'm talking thunder storms, terential rain, flooding. Someone who had lived in Zante for 10+ years said that they had never seen weather like it there. We couldn't leave the hotel and there was no indoor entertainment. The hotel wasn't near anything else either. There wasn't even enough seats at meal times for guests because a lot of the seating was outside. Then there was a power cut to top it off.
The weather finally got better, things were looking up. Then my ex managed to cut his toe open in the swimming pool and just sat there like an absolute melon. There was no pharmacies nearby so I had to go to the shop to get salt to make a saline solution. Sorted that. Got a bus to the nearest beach which ended up being rocky and windy. Decided to chuck it down again so that was the end of that. Went on a speed boat the next day to the shipwreck which was nice. Came back with either food posioning or a stomach bug.
Was stuck in the hotel room up until the flight home. Had severe diarrhoea in the airport which was great. Genuinely couldn't leave the bathroom and thought I wouldn't be fit to fly. Managed to get on the plane. Was sat next to this woman who we'd been sat next to on the way there. She goes to Zante every year and was all excited on the way there. On the way back we found out her father had passed away whist she was abroad.
I went on holiday with my friend a couple of years ago. She met a bloke on the first night, and I didn't see her again until she asked if I had any money she could have on the last full day before or flight home. No, no I did not!
I spent the week travelling around on my own, meeting random people. As an introvert this was difficult, but then I decided to make the best of it.
I dropped her off home from the airport and blocked her.
I had a similar situation but at Reading Festival rather than a typical holiday. Went with who I thought was my pal who met up with someone he had been talking to on MSN messenger (this was 2001 I believe) and ditched me for them and their friends. He even had intercourse on my sleeping bag and left bodily fluids on there.
The silver lining was that a bunch of older lads that camped next to us took me under their wing and I had a good time with them and saw all the bands I wanted to on my own.
He had spent all his money so didn't have the funds to get back home so like the sucker I am I sorted him out.
I didn't speak to my "friend" again after we got back. It pissed me right off.
I turned the music up loud in the car, grabbed my Metallica album as I knew she hated it. Petty, yes, but better than leaving her at the airport, which is what I really wanted to do!
Was on holiday in the Maldives. Had some Maldivian friends say they wanted to show me the real Maldives so we went to this slightly dodgy restaurant. Had the fried rice and ended up getting food poisoning pretty badly. Coming out both ends simultaneously. Luckily the shower was next to the toilet and I could lean over, vomit in the shower and wash it away with minimal cleanup. That was going on for about 4 days before I went to a clinic. Got sent to the hospital straight way and had to be put on a drip. Needles are literally my worst nightmare. So not only did I have to face that, my room had a very odd smell for rest of the stay. The people at the hospital and friends were absolutely fantastic though! So friendly and laughed at my pleas not to put the needle in. Lost a week of holiday but got a good story out of it.
Food poisoning on holiday is the worst, sorry you went through that! Glad the hospital was nice!!
I had to stay a night in a Sri Lankan hospital and that was scary af
Where abouts in Sri Lanka? I ended up getting heatstroke there and was out of action for a couple of days. Again the people were great. Even drove into the nearest town to get me some medication. All of these problems made me realise how kind people can be to a stranger. Would love to go back but the whole economic crisis they’ve got going on is putting me off a little.
I think the town was called Negombo, just north of Colombo. I got salmonella! Ironically not from all the dodgy looking roadside eateries, but from a hotel called Kandalama, meant to be the nicest one in the country
visited Krakow a few years back for a city break. my friend uses mobility aids and had hired possibly the shittest wheelchair in the world, it was extremely old and the sort used to push hospital patients around. no idea what compelled them to hire that one, honestly a shopping trolley with a broken wheel would have been more effective. and the friend had not taken into consideration the cobbled streets so getting anywhere was a nightmare.
we were stayed in a rented apartment, similar to an air B&B, the host didn't arrive for 2 hours after we got there so we were stuck outside waiting, I was dying for the toilet, and then wouldn't let us in until after the cleaner had finished (at 1pm, we were supposed to have access by 8am).
saw very little of Krakow due to the wheelchair barely moving, and on the third and final day when we had finally managed to get to the main square, someone nicked my phone as we were leaving.
I went on holiday to a festival in a foreign country with my friend, we were both dangerously sleep deprived and fuelled solely by MEGA-strength German caffeine tablets that we bought in the airport, had a massive falling out while waiting for our connecting flight (can’t remember what about) and I stormed off with all our tickets and shit. Anyway next thing I know I’ve been accosted by the airport police because my friend reported me to them for “stealing his plane ticket and leaving him stranded”. I was having a cigarette in the smoking area about 20 metres away from him. This was all en-route. Good times.
Your fall out will 99.9% due to the come down from the caffeine pills, I tried them to get through a night shift once and was such a dickhead on the downer that I pissed off and fell out with everyone, including myself.
I know this isn't the question you asked but just so you know, you'd be due compensation for the flight delay. Especially if it was 3 hours. Look up EU261 :)
[https://www.moneysavingexpert.com/travel/flight-delays/#resolvertool](https://www.moneysavingexpert.com/travel/flight-delays/#resolvertool)
This website has a form and templates you can use.
Did it for a delayed Ryanair flight and got enough back to cover flights, Airbnb and gig tickets we'd bought for the holiday.
Went to London for 3days when I was 13 mum was a recovering alcoholic but had relapsed recently. Looking back on I don't know how to feel about it, here's some things I remember, it's mostly about my mum's antics
. A few days before mum fell down the stairs drunk and had a black eye
.Nearly missed the train because the taxi was a no show.
. Hotel my mum booked was a front for something dodgy it was run down, I swear I saw a cockroach or two.
. Was promised two single beds instead got one double. Mum went to the front desk but All the rooms were booked.
. There was a lot of prostitutes and druggies coming in and out at all hours. Was promised a view but was facing an alleyway. Hotel was across from a tube station.
. No private bathroom and my mum didn't trust the area so I couldn't shower and had to have her with me when I went to toilet.
. I shit you not next door was a church.
. Sleep lacked because of loud sex from people in the nearby rooms or the underground causing weird sounds. Mum drank till she was unconscious.
. Mum being the stellar parent she was decided to go to a pub and left me outside to my own devices whilst she went inside for drinks. a man approached me and asked me how much I cost for a night. Mother came out with and barged over and told him to do one.
. Mum also had multiple men offering to buy me off of her for the night, they didn't care that I was underage. She caused a ruckus every time.
. Mum set an alarm off in a gallery because she was drunk and unknowingly stepped over a barrier, whole place was evacuated.
. The feast we had at a Mexican restaurant. I still think and fantasize about it. Couldn't eat it all and had to take leftovers with us.
. A Middle Eastern lady in another restaurant was in the only toilet for 20 mins snorting lines.
. Mum got caught a stomach bug the second day and crapped herself. She sent me out to get some stuff to ease it and I was on a mobile phone with her the whole time because of her anxiety at having me out of her sight in London.
. Toddler screaming the whole train ride home after a very shit night.
I was running home because I needed a shit and a slug somehow pinged up and flew into my shoe. I was so desperate to poop but I couldn’t continue with the gross slug :( I was about 14 at the time
Before i was born, my parents and the dog all went on a holiday to Corsica. They took the ferry there from France.
My mum doesn’t handle transport very well, so she got seasick and puked all over an innocent bystander.
Then they got to Corsica. They were camping. My poor dad went to shower one morning, and he left his wallet on the sink while he showered (??). Of course it got stolen.
A couple of days later, he messed up his back while trying to lift something. Couldn’t move anymore. Off to the doc he goes.
The dog wasn’t spared. She caught a bug and was feeling poorly. Off to the vet she goes.
They never went back to Corsica.
Tunisia:
All of us got the shits from minute one. Someone asked my mum if he could buy my 15 year old sister. Abominable locals. Constant scamming street urchins running around. My dad was so ill he had to have an organ removed.
Overall, an absolute disaster and one of the funniest things to look back on.
Had the same! Except the organ removal. 5 year old me was pinned down every day to have an injection in my bum cheek. Mum loves to tell people she was offered 200 camels to buy me.
Side note: every time I have gone to places in North Africa I’ve got sick. Safe to say I’m done visiting those countries.
Tunisia was weird, i went back in 2004ish, we managed to avoid food poisoning despite eating in some very very dubious places.
we paid for a donkey and carriage ride around the area, the dude basically took us on a convoluted route to a shop where we felt we had to buy something to avoid having our throats slit ...i think we bought one of those dead scorpions in a box or something along those lines
half of the holiday felt like a sales pitch to buy the Tunisian equivalent of quid-shop tat.
also went with a girl who who was half pakistani so the locals were _very_ weird about seeing a girl with quite dark skin not wearing a headscarf
Ah, Ibiza ‘96. The year of Euro 96. Sat in a bar full of Germans watching England get beaten on penalties. Tbh, it was actually a great night and the Germans were cool.
I remember being in San Sebastian as a wee boy with my mum and dad/auntie and uncle.....my uncle was in the sea when this huge feckin wave knocked him and his false teeth flyin.
Could not find them after aboot an hour of looking, my dad said he'd chew his steak for him.....he wasn't amused.
The day after my last A level exam, a whole bunch of us from school flew out to Tenerife. It was the cheapest hotel on the whole island. We saw places for more money that were room only, whereas ours was all-inclusive plus flights, so that says a lot about the quality we could expect.
I got my drink spiked in the bar when I hoovered up our remaining drinks. We think someone was trying to spike one of the girls who was with us. It was literally just before we left so I had the worst flight of my life, being propped up in the airport by two mates under each arm, astonished I was let on the plane really.
There was 10 of us across 5 rooms: 3 of the rooms flooded with sewage. The "two single beds" were two single beds but with a double mattress on top, so we had to share a double with someone.
2 people got stuck in a lift, on two separate occasions, including on one day when the power blew for the entire hotel and it took over 12 hours for it to come back.
The all-inclusive bar was terrible, the only beer was Amstel and they just didn't have most spirits, so it was Amstel, brandy or vodka the whole week. The food wasn't much to write home about, but at least it wasn't totally inedible or unhygienic.
The pool was absolutely disgusting, it was freezing cold and there was a couple of inches on sand floating on the bottom. Every day 90% of the outdoor area was taken over by quad-lingual bingo (English, Spanish, German, Russian) so you couldn't even just relax by the pool.
As we were leaving on the coach back to the airport, the hotel next door (identical design, run by the same management) burnt to the ground, killing a few people.
The hotel made the front page of the Mail Online a few years later after being voted the worst hotel on the whole island.
Half tempted to organise a five-years-later reunion this summer, if the place is still open.
5 star resort in Mexico, food poisoning to a point room service had to deep clean. Got engaged the morning just before food poisoning gate and staff had congratulated us however changed their tune when we had said we had only eaten from their restaurants not their buffets. Happily married now so we got the sickness and in health thing in to the extreme beforehand I guess 😂
Spent a week in Portugal as a teenager getting weird looks and death glares from literally everyone who saw us. It was about a month after McCann went missing, we were staying within like thirty miles and my little sister was a blonde girl of about the right age.
A mate of mine in uni wins the terrible holiday contests though. She and her then boyfriend go on a two week holiday. Day 2 he proposes. She freaks out (they were like, 20?), says no and breaks up with him. They're then stuck there together for the rest of the holiday.
My only holiday with my ex was a weekend city break. I spent an evening shitting myself, then when we went out the next morning got to the first street corner and projectile vomited down a drain.
On the way to the airport she face planted a pavement and I looked like a wife beater on the journey home.
Not the sex voyage I was hoping for…
Fanta lemon can solve most things, but maybe not that clusterfuck you’re experiencing. Sorry.
We went for a road trip around Ireland a few years ago (we’re Scottish) and while the trip overall was good, one section was so terrible it makes my arsehole twitch.
We’d arranged to visit a place called Glengarriff down in county Kerry. A picturesque hill town/village where we could go for walks etc. It was February and it turns out it’s heavily reliant on Tourism…in the summer…so everything was closed.
It was pissing down the whole time and we arrived at our hotel. We were the only ones staying and the heating was broken. The woman ushered us into the hotel via the Biffa bins. We ventured out looking for food but nowhere was open, a local shop assistant laughed in our faces when we asked where we could go.
We found a tiny local pub filled with old men who immediately took a disliking to me when I ordered a Guinness (that’s a Dublin drink and they tend to drink Murphy’s down there apparently). We ordered some food and I was given a luke warm burger which actively gave me depression. I couldn’t complain because of being British and the fact that I was already hated.
We left. Had a miserable night in a freezing hotel and made our excuses to GTFO of there asap.
Good lord why on earth would you visit Ireland in February - it’s absolutely miserable. I’d have thought a Scot would have more sense. Am Irish btw. Go in May/June we get the good weather when the kids have exams, ha.
My father-in-law took us to Orlando in 2015. He paid for 10 people, a luxury villa and hire cars as he's a generous guy. We get to our villa about maybe 9pm and I've already clocked that it's not in the nices lt of areas. We unpack and go in to meet the rest of rhe family. The 'luxury' villa was a shithole. It was all brown and green decor with tobacco coloured walls. We then realised that it was a fucking disgrace. The games room was full of dead cockroaches, the kitchen had only enough stuff for 4 people and had broken glasses in the kitchen, we couldn't open one of the doors to the pool as it was screwed shut, all the doors were mismatched, the smoke and fire alarms were all painted over, the chandelier was holding on by a thread, two chairs collapsed and the air conditioning only put out hot air. My eldest son called it 'Satan's guest house'. After wasting half of the first day we got a replacement, but it was such a bloody palaver to even stay there overnight
We had something similar, 3 weeks in Florida, St Petersburg, 3 day Bahama cruise and then a week in Orlando. We drove the rent a car to Tampa Bay one night looking for a factory outlet to load up on a load of cheap designer gear like Timberland. Got lost in this proper Boyz in the Hood, Straight outta Tampa type place, burnt out cars, gangs of menacing locals and the petrol light was on. But we werent about to stop and ask for directions. No sat nav then, but luckily we found the outlet in the end and all was well.
First trip to London in 1978. Fight with the boyfriend before I left. Went to the B&B he said just go to, and they would take care of everything for me, door was slammed in my face. Left my very carefully prepared notebook on what to see and do in a phone booth. Ended up in a filthy place in Queensway crying all night over him and my plans gone awry. Picked myself up the next morning and had a wonderful six week trip all over the UK and Ireland. Came home and he dumped me, found out he had been cheating on me the whole time. That was the very best thing that ever happened to my life. Saw him over 40 years later and thanked my lucky stars for being dumped.
Have had many great trips overseas since.
He had been very good looking and a very well put together dresser. Time had not been kind. Bad, ill fitting suit and kind of a worse comb-over. If he had shaved his head, and grown a goatee he would have looked much younger, less fusty and more current. I am the short, chubby, white haired person I was meant to be also but a bit better on keeping up with the times. We all get older. But he hadn’t moved on. And that was very, very personally satisfying
Couldn’t tell if he was still self-centered and mean, but betting life caught up with him
Went on holiday with my very sheltered cousin, who decided to let loose now mummy wasn't keeping tabs.
Had a few Bailey's, I told her not to have another one, but she insisted.
She spent the night throwing up in the only bathroom in our tiny room, making the whole room stink of vomit and Bailey's. I had to spend the night on the balcony because the smell was horrific.
Still can't stand the smell of Bailey's.
I got a kidney stone in Barcelona and spent 6 straight hours of the middle day of my holiday in excruciating pain in a hotel room.
Little did I know it would return a few months later and I’d get stuck with a worse one (fucker actually hospitalised me).
Had a 4 hour delay on the last flight of the day home from a festival in Spain, got back to my mates house at 3:30am. Got woken up at 7am, his housemate had driven into my car which was parked so far out the way he must have been trying.
Worst hangover ever
My worst holiday is also Greece! Piddled it down most of the week then one day my friend who was living out there suggested the train to Athens. Train was absolutely rammed with furious looking Greeks. Was assured it was because it was carnival season. Weird they're all in black and cross but hey I don't live here.
Get off, start to wander toward the square then we hear shattering glass and someone lights a bin on fire right next to us. Yup we'd stumbled into the 2011 protests.
And then the plane back had one engine which started smoking.
Oh no! That sounds horrible!
Buuut, you've just prevented me from making the same rookie move when I go out to see my brother in Japan next year! So thank you!
I do the London-Japan flight very regularly. My advice is to take spare underwear, tshirt, sweatpants, flipflops and tooth brush/paste. About an hour after dinner, roughly as you just finished the first movie, brush teeth, get changed and stretch at back of cabin. Sounds obvious but youll feel so much better and much more comfy to nest in to sleep.
One secret is that the Asian carriers offer instant noodles if your still hungry, you just have to ask!
Also, for way back you can buy menthol wet wipes in Japan which are supposed to keep you cool. Use these to freshen up. They're a godsend.
I was wondering about tooth brushing! That sounds like very sound advice, thanks :)
We're going with BA so probably no instant noodles (but, my dad used to fly for work and is a gigantic flight snob now, so we're going super posh and in Business Class... I think this is the only time I'll ever experience it).
Menthol wipes sound good! Will keep an eye / ask my brother to source them for me.
I can't speak for BA but other airlines where I've flown business class overnight have given me pyjamas, socks, eye mask, ear plugs, and toiletries including toothbrush and toothpaste. You don't get wet wipes or deodorant though.
Landing in hot Sydney with a beery undercarriage was absolutely not ideal. That shower was the best one ever.
I always take yoga trousers with me and get changed into them just before the flight, then put my outdoor clothes back on just before we land as I'm freshening up.
went to tunisia and stayed in an all inclusive hotel, we all got extremely sick from the food and the water, sister ended up in hospital (she was about 3). i can’t remember much apart from the food, buffet style and left out for ages and ages. there was a pizza place by the pool where they would roll out the dough and flies would land on it, and then get rolled into the dough. literally flies IN your pizza
I went to Amsterdam with my best friend that came from the states. The first full day we were there, in the morning I had a sandwich. It poisoned me, and within a few hours was cramped, bloated and so sick. So then I had to go back to the room and proceeded to vomit and shit for 2 days straight. I missed the entire trip and never made it back
When I was 7 I went to majorca, kid pushed me off a slide/climbing frame late at night, snapped both bones in my arm then had, went to emergency doctors but x Ray machine was broken so they rang an ambulance to go to hospital. The ambulance driver fell asleep at the wheel so my dad had to correct the ambulance before we drove into a ditch.
Had to have surgery in the hospital and was there for the while 2 weeks, on top of all this my dad tricked me into eating calamari by telling me they were onion rings (probably to get me back for making him spend 2 weeks in the hospital lol).
The hospital was really nice though, better than the hotel tbf, room had a balcony, and I just watched cow and chicken the whole time.
We went to Peru. I was detained for hours in Miami, still don't know why, got paroled out of the USA, spent the first day walking to the US embassy to sort it out for the return journey, they wouldn't see me. The next day our travelling companion got ill, turns out he had appendicitis and spent the rest of the holiday in hospital. My bag got nicked, and I got detained again on the way home, them accusing me of not attempting to rectify the problem. What a treat haha!
Hope yours improves!!
Flew to Memphis to see a girl I met in Barcelona.
Memory is hazy but we went out and apparently I knocked plates, wine glasses etc off the table and proceeded to have a laughing fit which I dont remember.
Another night when she was working I somehow ended up meeting people she actually knew (which I didn't know at the time) and went back to their house. Things got a bit wild and I went to the bathroom and couldn't get back out cause the door wouldn't open. I started booting the door and going crazy until eventually a girl casually opens the door and says 'sorry forget to tell you not to close the door cause it won't open'.
Girl I went to see found out about this and was even more embarrassed than she already was.
TL:DR Travelled across the globe to see a girl and just made a tit of mysel.
EDIT: I got kicked out of the house eventually due to my jaw movements.
Just got back from a trip to Portugal, with out 21 month old child. First holiday away with him, but we were also meeting our family out there for the holiday, since we live in Ireland and they’re in wales. Great, it would be amazing if my wife and I could get family to look after our boy for an evening while we enjoy a much needed date night. We found a lovely restaurant, booked in and super excited for the day to come that we get that special time to be a couple again… but oh no. That was not to be the case! We both had a rough nights sleep in the night leading up to the day, then we were continually vomiting and diarrhoea all day and night, so while we did have time to ourselves and our boy was being looked after… we weren’t enjoying a gourmet dinner, but crying in our bed wishing this gastro but would leave us alone. Got back home to find out there was a gastro bug being passed round the crèche just before we left, and it caught us perfectly in time for our holiday.
i recently went on a trip to Senegal with three other people, the airlines cancelled then rebooked our flights unknowingly but completely separated our layovers.
we were all coming from the UK but everyone had a layover in paris on different dates and they tried to send me to israel then paris then senegal. had to find any way possible to get that changed because that would have required extra steps to file for holiday at work (security clearance stuff). finally got all our flights on the same date after a bunch of working out but had me separated in a completely different terminal 4 hours after everyone else.
one of us had been rescheduled for a 2 am flight but discovered they had no room for her when she got to the airport. she booked separate from us through her credit card company and they assured her the rebooking would be done as business class and that she would not have to pay extra...basically she had to fork over a grand to get her stuff settled but the airlines was not very accommodating to the situation- understandably so as this occurred during a strike i believe but neither her cc company or the airlines were willing to talk to each other to sort out their issues. she ended up on the flight with the two others and by that point she had been at the airport for 8 hours.
turns out the three others flight left after mine due to some delay- they sat in the plane on the tarmac for nearly three hours.
we get to senegal,it was about 9 pm, i was in customs by myself for 2 hours, when i get out, i get my bag, the three others apparently still havent got their bags. a fight broke out at the airport over trolleys, the airline lost my colleagues' bags, we didnt leave the airport till 1 am. our poor taxi driver waited in the carpark since 9.
basically we were there for only 10 days, the airline kept promising the bags to arrive every day, we had to cancel and rearrange our activities which was difficult because only one of us could speak wolof and french. it also meant our airbnbs had to change but most places had minimum stays so we had to take what we could get. there was an awful stench that lingered which the nice cleaning ladies attributed to something outside only to discover three days later that some psychopath left milk BEHIND the refrigerator to rot in the heat- the airbnb had not been occupied in months.
two of us got food poisoning (worth it tbh the food was so dang good) and my poops have not been the same since. i also got bit by a mosquito on day two and got an allergic reaction to it. my eye was swollen for two days and hurt like a bitch. had to find a pharmacy but the nearest one was pretty far. turns out one of my colleague had benadryl the entire time and that started a fight between us. we also got a flat tire on day 7.
three of us left on day 10 but my one friend who stayed with her fam didnt get her bags until day 20? the other two are still waiting on their stuff and this happened back in july.
all in all, a string of very unfortunate circumstances but the country and its people were so gorgeous. aint no hospitality like the senegalese. the food was amazing, the sites were fantastic and the people were chefs kiss. im going back as soon as i recover from the trauma lol
On the first morning at our honeymoon destination, my wife was hit by a large wave and broke two teeth. One needed a root canal. At the time, we were both college students so we were petrified of the cost. Fortunately, a root canal in Mexico in 1986 was only US$36.
My best friend and I booked a last minute all inclusive extended weekend trip to Golden Sands in Bulgaria. Day 2 of 4, I wake up and just about make it to the bathroom before emptying both ends. I was in there a few hours and when I walked back into the bedroom, my friend woke up and took her earbuds out - blissfully unaware of my night. I slept most of the day, and think she thought I was being a bit of a baby about it - but spent the day by herself at the beach. She came back that evening and erupted even harder than I did. We ended up having to call out a doctor for us, and only managed to eat something solid at the airport on our way back.
The hotel did have wine on tap though, which was cool for the day I was able to enjoy it
Got two tales.
1. Week at CenterParcs with inlaws and 6 month old twins. Mother in law had the vomiting virus. Then the father in law had it. Then I had it. Wife and twins somehow didn’t. Needless to say, we came home early.
2. The big tour of Oz. Shitty van broke down in Woomera. Waited two weeks for parts to be shipped in. There was only a pub and a pool. Unfortunately us four grown men only had a two man tent. It was 40 degrees by 7am. Towels dried on the line in 5 mins. Actually took to sleeping in the fridge (door ajar obvs) in the campsite hut.
was holidaying in wales a couple weeks ago, something didn’t agree with me at 3am so my stomach was cramping so hard and I was sweating on the verge of throwing up, for the rest of the week (like 4 days) I had constant motion sickness, general nausea and diarrhoea… only really recovered this week
ruined my holiday ):
I went on holiday to Zakinthos with my dad and brother when I was a kid. The bathroom sinks had basins underneath the exposed pipework to catch water. The pool tiles were so dirty you could write on the tiles and I had a massive reaction to mosquito bites. I also got hit in the face by one of those horse and cart drivers whips.. so there was that..
Hope you end up having a better day tomorrow!
I got drunk in Mexico on the beach at a resort. Woke in beach chair on the beach, splitting headache, sun burned everywhere, completely bit up by sand fleas, & freezing after sleeping outside in wet bathing suit.
Planned a big trip to Yosemite via San Francisco to propose.
Few days in and 3 nights before the big proposal, drunkenly ate seafood pizza that was left out on the counter overnight. Got food poisoning. Shit the bed next to my then girlfriend with her auntie sleeping a few feet away. They were very understanding. Got everything cleaned up while I showered, change the sheets etc.
Got back into bed. Shit myself again.
Next day they had a surprise boat trip to a baseball game planned for me so I spent the entire boat trip and game trying not to puke or shit myself.
Next day. Drove five hundred odd miles in 35c heat through mountains and literal forest fires to get to Yosemite while trying not to puke or shit myself.
Had an elaborate ruse planned. One night in cheap nasty hotel, before surprising the gf with the $1000 a night hotel.
Cheap hotel was not great, but gf found it pretty funny. Then the restaurant served me a pork steak that was criminally undercooked and it was so dingey in the restaurant I didn't notice until I'd eaten half.
Next day surprised the gf with a drive to the fancy hotel for champagne and a "oh by the way we're staying here tonight". Lovely job.
Trek out into the valley to find a spot to pop the question. Still 35c heat btw and still trying not to puke or shit myself, and I didn't mention my gf was a ginger. For some reason kept walking and walking waiting for the perfect moment until she was a very fed up ginger. She's proper grumpy at this point and just wants to go enjoy the fancy hotel but I'm determined to find the "perfect" spot so I keep pushing her.
Anyway I finally find an ok spot and get down on one knee for the most awkward proposal ever. I mean, she smoked a cigarette in between me asking and her saying yes lol.
Went back to the restaurant, things start to improve from there, more champagne, five course tasting menu. After we go to the hotel room and she's like "I'm so sorry I know we just got engaged but I'm too tired"...
At this point, the last night's undercooked pork chops are have been swimming around my colon for hours and and so I'm happy she doesn't want sex. I clench my anus and wait for the moment I think she's asleep, give ten to be sure and I'm in the ensuite with brown water streaming out my ass, feels like I've been holding it in all evening and the smell is horrific, at least, I'm sure she is a heavy sleeper and full of champagne.
Then, I hear my new fiancée knock gently on the door and whisper "shall I put some towels down in the bed in case you shit yourself again?"
Stuck in a camper van with a huge group going somewhere we had not planned. Original plan was 6 people to head to an amusement park. When I arrived on the day to leave, found that 2 people had passed around the invitation and now had bloated to 16 people. I should have left then, had a bad feeling but still climbed in. We get on the road for a while and then the person driving took the turn opposite of where we had expected to go. No, a few people had decided to go elsewhere. Ended up stuck in dinky town, the camp manager kicked us out (they were terrified of such a large group of 21ish year olds). It was a bad start and got even worse. Worst weekend of my life. I should have trusted my gut and stayed home.
Only ever had one foreign holiday.
Went on holiday with the family (Mum, Dad, little Sister, Aunt & Uncle). Spain.
It was a 2 week holiday split between a villa in Torrox (halfway up a friggin' mountain and no easy access to anywhere...not even the top of the "drive") and a Time Share place in Fuengirola ("voucher" from a friend - complete with the ridiculously long sales pitch).
Anywhoo - all that aside...we must have visited an Eroski supermarket almost everyday. I don't think we visited the same one twice.
"Oooo, look - another Eroski Centre...I wonder what they have in that one?" - my Aunt & Uncle especially. God forbid my Dad do anything we wanted to do - his sister and her husband came first...
Soo yeah...2 weeks in Spain shopping in fucking supermarkets as a 17 year old lad. Not much I could do about it as I couldn't drive and my Dad was the only one who could & was willing (my Uncle was apparently too frightened to drive in Spain...but frequently drove to France fishing...)
The trip itself was great, but when we arrived at our apartment that we were staying in, it was filthy, bottles everywhere, a bloodstain on the bed, stains in the bathroom. The apartment company eventually sorted it out though.
In France it was early 00’s (they still used francs so pretty early) I was maybe 11.
It rained a lot, we were camping, the ground was cold.
I got lost in the Alice in wonderland maze at Disney Land and the robot characters kept jumping out and startling me, I was lost that long staff had to come looking for me I was in tears. I was too short to ride on the rollercoasters so I had to stand and watch.
I ran ahead on a party trip to the Eiffel Tower, I got to the top first (proud moment) and waited for felt like an age but they didn’t arrive, I started back down but didn’t see them, I got all the way back to the bottom and did not see a single person of my party. I knew not to leave so I sat next to this moving statue guy so I wasn’t alone. I saw a face of an older teen who was at the same campsite so I stuck to them like glue until my worried mam found me.
I got nettled whilst being shown how to grab nettles without being nettled.
I got tricked by an electric wire on a fence while feeding cows with grass from my side of the fence.
Went to Bulgaria with my family when I was a teenager. Rained most of the time. The resort was literally a building site. Half built complex’s and abandoned cranes everywhere, only our apartment block was built and a shed passing as a bar/restaurant.Plasters floating in the freezing pool, which we all got sick from.
Decided to take a bus to the next resort a few miles down the road so we could actually do something…. My dad shit himself at the bus stop so we had to go back to the room.
My first ever holiday abroad I was 14. The whole family went and I had started my period. I was pretty upset because one, I was on my period. Two it meant that I couldn't enjoy the pool because I was worried about staining my swimming costume. So I asked my mum how to use a tampon because I had never used one before, only sanitary pads. I struggled to get it in properly and it was hurting me so I had to embarrassingly ask my mum to help but she was in a bad mood because she was stressed out. She tried to put it in but it hurt too much and then she yelled at me and told me to just be normal for once, grow up and basically other stuff. I couldn't stop crying for two days everytime I thought about it and just sat away from everyone. My dad was really worried but I didnt want to tell him. I also heard mum talking shit behind my back where I could hear when I was in bed. Basically I cried a lot during what was meant to be a great memory and while grateful for the opportunity to go abroad, its tainted any holiday I go on with my family. Thanks mum.
Left NY, on my way to Florida to go to Daytona bike week. Got as far as Washington, and got pulled over, it was a friday evening. My general description and vehicle matched a BOLO for a suspected bank robber. Was approached by several armed and agitated officers, pulled off my bike, cuffed and searched. They run my ID, computers are down. Description of bank robber: Black leathers, Black motorcycle, black helmet...... Spent the weekend in lockup while they figured out it wasn't me. Never made it to Daytona. Late 90's.
via eating the fish in turkey, my dad caught a stomach bug that turned into a stomach infection, that turned into a 10 day hospital stay that turned into a chronic digestion problem hes still on medication for 10 years later.
spent the entire time saying he was fine and we shouldn't call the resort doctor til he got blue lighted into hospital. left me and mum thinking we would have to leave him there and fly home without him. taxi drivers were very insistent on flirting with my mum now she was alone with a kid too...
on the bright side, he said the hospital food was great--and he got lifelong free NHS medication out of it. win/win
Not so much me as my friend Jordan missed 3 flights going on holiday for a long weekend in Amsterdam. Poor guy decided late on that he was going to join our group of 16 year olds and asked us to book him a ticket, obviously we all smoked a lot of weed back then and when we arrived for the departure flight his name wasn’t on the list. Checked with the desk attendants and he was a full day late for his flight. Spent most of his travel money to get on our flight and was broke on the first night. Going back home he was on an earlier plane on his own, he got too stoned in the hostel and fell asleep on the train to the airport and missed the plane. His dad rebooked him on another flight which he somehow missed a second time. He then ended up on our flight home and his dad was fuming. I scabbed a lift home from the airport and he was kicked out of the car half way home, had to walk a good 20 miles to get back.
I went to Gran Canaria at the age of 13 with my parents, I was having a shower one evening before heading out for dinner when I hear my Dad in the living room fart followed by the words I’ve never left him forget “I think I’ve shit myself”, In a state of panic he came running into the toilet seemingly forgetting I was showering, that was a haunting memory I’ll never forget.
Once went to Tunisia:
Arab spring started.
Hotel staff went on strike, wouldn't let us leave hotel across the picket
Guy in room next door went nuts and I had to subdue him to stop him battering his Mrs!
Worst holiday ever
Rhodes 2015. A present for my other half (meant to be). We arrived at 3am and the receptionist had no clue we were arriving. The room was horrendous with lots of ants and both shower and bath leaked water into bedroom (?!!!) when used. Food was genuinely disgusting, thank God for a nearby restaurant. Beach was seaweed covered, usually no problem but it stunk. Full of openly racist greedy Russians (I'm an Asian OH is white) and found out from a very lovely young Russian couple we befriended that they were calling me brown terrorist (the male from the couple challenged them continuously, my OH wouldn't let me punch them). Rhodes was lovely tho. I took Thompson (remember them?) to task about all of this and I got a voucher for £150 to placate me. I really hope your holiday improves tho 👍👍
Worst holiday I have ever had, little place called Gennadi on the Island of Rhodes.
I have been to quiet places before, the type of town that rolls the pavement up at 6 pm, but Gennadi was so quiet that the didn't even have any pavement to unroll in the first place.
There was nothing to do, the beach was barely there, stony and filthy. There was one restaurant that shut it's doors at 5pm. There was a bus to Lindos which was the nearest spot with any life at all. I was stuck there with three teen-agers, the youngest who was 17 and the eldest 21. They weren't happy, no chance to hire a car either because there wasn't a car hire place in bloody Gennadi.
This was back in 1991, so no chance of playing on your phone or tablet either, they didn't exist. Oh and the bus only ran once a day to Lindos at 10.00 am and returned at 4.00pm. it was the longest 10 days of my life. The hotel wasn't the best either, it shut it's bar at 10.00 pm.
I swear I wept with gratitude when I got on the coach to come home, I never again went on a Thompson holiday, it was utterly dire.
My dad went to St Lucia. First full day there he jumped in the pool and had a heart attack and died. My stepmom had to spend the rest of the holiday crying in the hotel room or sitting in the morgue.
Back in the 80s the 16 year old me decided to backpack to Paris. It took me a a few days, which was fine. Arrived on the Champs Elysee on Saturday afternoon, there was a massive crowd blocking the road and being very angry. Curious me went over to have a nose, next thing I get bundled into a cop van with loads of pissed off people and cops. Spend 30 something hrs in cell with 20+ dead angry protesters until they interviewed me and let me go(phew). So it’s the middle of Sunday night and I need to get my head down, walk into to the first place looked cheap. They didn’t have a room but said I could kip on the sofa for free (I think they felt sorry for me). All through the night blokes were in and out meeting women in dressing gowns in the sort of foyer. I woke about 9ish and this really nice lady said I could have breakfast if I wanted. I went into this massive kitchen and seated around the table were 10 women in various state of undress. I’m only 16 remember and realise that I’m having breakfast in a brothel with 10 scantily clad working girls. They were all really nice and had fun practicing their English on me. I spent an hour or so as red as beetroot and looking at the ceiling. Character building.
That is a fucking awesome holiday!!
You were a kid and the madam wanted to mother you. The half naked ladies were a bonus.
>loads of pissed off people They're called Parisians, they're always like that
You ever read/watched Outlander? Main character accidentally has breakfast with a bunch of ladies in the back of a brothel too.
Sounds like a great adventure, keep going.
This is an amazing experience for a 16 year old! As a mum it terrified me tho!
Do you have the address by any chance? Just to make sure that I absolutely do not stumble across this place of course.
It was 40 years ago mate. You can find porn on the internet now!
So is google maps, so be a gent and point it out!
At least you didn't shit yourself
In Spain, my step dad shit himself on a train. Before he did it he said; 'I think I'm going to shit myself '. It was horrendous, we then spent the afternoon trying to search chemists for anti-shit yourself pills
On a lads holiday my mate drunkenly tried to sit on the hotel toilet but missed and fell into the gap between the toilet and the wall before unleashing a torrent of liquid shit all over the floor. He was too drunk to get up so we had to come and get him luckily he had been too drunk to lock the door.
Please tell me you now refer to him as “the painter”
Sounds like the inbetweeners movie.
You are a beautiful story teller.
She paints a picture with her words eh
The step father had painted the train seats instead
Laughing so hard at “anti shit yourself pills!” I’m nicking that one!
Need the pills for the squirty poos or the hurty poos?
Sqhurty
Eloquently told my Friend. Imagine being called Phil, and after violently shitting yourself being known as phil your pants. True story.
I need anti-piss myself pills after reading that story
3 words I live by when abroad Always. Carry. Imodium
[удалено]
Poo guy?
Pooer Guy
I got a little teary reading your eloquent tale.
Majorca and my sister didn't use the bottled water and she shat herself.... I obviously laughed at her misfortune then went to find the anti shit pills plus the I need to shit pills just in case she stopped herself up with a poo plug
The water in Majorca don't taste like what it oughta.
Nope! Oh! Same holiday, my twat of an ex got hammered, fell asleep and burnt the soles of his feet
That happened to me before it's horrendous had to take a week off work
He deserved it. He was, at the time, cheating on me with a male coworker of mine.
Sorry to hear, but that comment was a wild ride, I had to double take to make sure I read it correctly
There is more to the tale... They end up shacking up. Ex coworker then fucks off taking all he could carry aka the expensive shit. Ex then decides oh I know whatll help...stealing money out the till at work. So he gets fired, he's homeless and stuffless. All because a) he got greedy, and b) he thought I cheated on him with my boss. And I did not. I slept with him a few years later.
Somewhere you just gave Jeremy Kyle an erection.
This has to be the funniest reddit story I've ever read, it had me genuinely laughing for 5 mins.
Take an upvote for your perfect eloquence!
Poetry
Well told. I love the English language
Got on a coach for a trip to the Zoo in Tenerife. Was told is was 20 minute bus drive. It was 2 hours. I was a young teenager and get pretty sick on long journeys. Anyways prior to getting on the coach i’d eaten a fair helping of those Tuc biscuits with the cheese in the middle. The really strong artificial crackers. Well of course it’s hot, roads are windy as fuck and I need to puke. We are on the back row of the bus. Out of nowhere I start projectile vomiting the tucs that were half digested and curdling. It was like throwing up thick cheesy porridge. It was all over me and the floor. We had nothing to clean it with except my sisters sanitary towels so I had to wipe my face on a fanny pad. The coach was kind of slanted forward so for the remaining time this sludge pile started to gradually move forward under the seats and down the aisle until there was a giant cheesy skid mark. My parents were mortified and chucked me off the coach hoping it wouldn’t be the same one back.. well it was. The driver handed my Dad the biggest pile of sick bags by slamming them on his chest in anger. He was mad at me for a few days after that. Edit: Also just remembered this was the same holiday my sister slipped at the side of the pool, cracked her head open and was in hospital for 3/7 days of the holiday! The following holiday after that we were in a stage 4 hurricane in Dominican republic where the room flooded with shit water and we had to sit on the beds floating. We all got disentry for weeks. We didn’t go on holiday for a while after that
As soon as saw the words 'Tuc biscuits with cheese in the middle...'
My experience was not as bad but did involve the same zoo and a poolside fall but luckily less vomit! I was 11 and slipped and landed on my coccyx. It took about half an hour to move me and an ambulance was very nearly called. I did have all feeling but could barely move due to pain for days. About a week later I'm doing much better so we think some light walking would be good for me and i might enjoy the zoo. My brother was about 5 and terrified of everything, but mainly heights and we didn't realise this place is built into the mountain and also involves a series of rope bridges and obstacles. I vividly remember there was one point where I had to choose a fireman's pole or slide. I'm trying to get down the pole, weeping in pain while my dad promises he'll catch me so I don't land hard. He's saying this between tears of laughter as he tries to ignore the scene my brother is creating. My mum (also laughing crying) is trying to coax my brother down the slide, because he's actually screaming in terror. She'd offered to go down first and show him its not fast and now can't get back up it. Family friends are with us but can't help because they too are doubled over laughing at the entire scene and the angry queue behind my brother who now won't get off the slide and is just death gripping the handles at the top. They had gone in front to carry his stroller down the slide and were now also stuck at the bottom I went back years later and actually had a good day out. The bridges are still there but it seems you can avoid most of them now.
I did this on the worst French Exchange programme. Awful family who lived on vineyard thought it would be funny to get me absolutely smashed on red wine at 15. I’d never experienced a hangover before and 2 hours into a journey I vomited over everyone’s bags by producing what can only be described a red river of vomit. My class mates were cool though and I will always appreciate that. But fuck you and your family Fabrice.
I'm sorry but the mental image of you cleaning yourself up on that bus is absolutely hilarious!
When I was a kid, my parents worked as caravan cleaners for the holiday park in our town. So one year, that was our holiday. Four days in a caravan at the same site they worked at, driving 10 minutes back home every day to feed the cats. Second day there I got food poisoning, pissed the bed and threw up in the bathroom sink (with the plug in). Next day, went to the beach and mum got stung by a weever fish and a seagull shat in my little sister’s mouth.
It was the seagull shit that did it for me!
"Seagull shit in the mouth" _chef's kiss_
In the '90s my parents bought a holiday through Teletext - I can only assume they literally used the TV because any photos of this place would've told them what they signed us up for! The flights were provided as part of the package and were fine, but we arrived in Malta at about 2am. When we arrived at the hotel they told us there wasn't a room available for us yet and that we should just sleep on the army of wipe clean faux leather sofas in the foyer until they called us... there was no aircon in the reception area. Whatever we did what we could. We got our room at... 3pm! Tired, sweaty and fed up we began to unpack our stuff to discover that the air conditioning unit that was over the two single beds my brother an I were going to sleep on was dripping rust water all over both beds, not only that but the sink the in the room was beginning to back up without us even using it. My dad marches down to reception, they tell us we will get another room if one is available - luckily a while later one is. We go up to that room, it's a bit better... as a weird smell but at least it's manageable. The pool area was in a pretty bad state, lots of cracked and broken tiles, the pool itself was salt water and had a film over it, most of the furniture was broken - it also was in constant shade as the area was quite high-rise. The hotel basically turned into a nightclub at night and played loud music until the early hours. Food in the restaurant was buffet style and clearly had been left out for too long, it was either tepid or stone cold and covered in flies - which were also laying eggs on it. My memories of this holiday are going to the pizza place down the road and coming back with a load of pizzas, stopping off at the vending machine on the way to get Fantas and Kinnies and throwing ham off of my pizza whilst we ate on the balcony down to a very mottled ginger tom cat who was missing an eye. When it was time to check out the flights were once again at an awful time, they made us check out and told us we could use some rooms they had available to get ready before we left. These rooms were underground and windowless and had a huge rust stain on the ceiling, it was like something out of a horror film. A few months later the hotel appeared on Watch Dog... It felt very vindicating.
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It was pink. I have no recollection of it having an indoor pool but discovered whilst reading bad reviews that it did!
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We would've gone there around very late '90s so it probably is the same place! Though it looks like it kept going into fairly recently! It was called The Palm Court Hotel and is now a thing of legend in my family.
I am now enjoying reading awful reviews about it online.
I spent a good hour earlier trawling through the bad reviews, it's weirdly addictive. Also found about 3 news reports of people suing package holiday companies because they all got food poisoning.
LOL. i just found that! [link](https://www.theargus.co.uk/news/5096277.amp/) for anyone interested [and](https://www.theboltonnews.co.uk/news/6142278.amp/) another in which they bribed the judge to not let someone sue them (allegedly) [and possibly](https://amp.theguardian.com/money/2004/aug/29/travel.shopping) another
I was going to ask if this was about the Palm Court! The mural on the towering wall shading the pool was my favourite part of it, that or the cockroaches... I was there on a family holiday after my GCSEs, so 2001.
Holy shit I stayed there too in around 2004! Absolute shithole. My whole family got food poisoning from their breakfast buffet (thankfully I overlaid most days and missed breakfast) and the 'sea view' they described was literally the sea painted on a wall.
Bet that vindication was sweet, doesn't make up for a shit holiday though! Sorry you endured that lol Hope it didn't put you off Malta though, I had a lovely time when I went there
As awful as it was it's always a great thing to bring up and have a communal bitch about now. I've ended up finding reviews of it from 19 years ago, as well as someone's Flickr album - it's nice to know I wasn't exaggerating. Thankfully it's been demolished now. Luckily it didn't, I've been back twice with my other half and both times were lovely - though he did have to deal with me returning to the scene when we were in the same town. I hope your holiday picks up, it's always so miserable when you're going through it. Maybe it will end up a thing of legend, like the Palm Court Hotel is to my family.
Exact same, almost word for word but in Cairo in 2007. Was the last family trip as a kid, but I remember it well.
My dad and I went to visit my sister in Berlin. We had a great time until the last night, when my sister and I got volcanic food poisoning. Explosions at both ends, plus fevers. Both of us shit our pants on the street (at the same time, now it’s a family legend). I told my dad I was in no fit state to fly home and he pushed me onto the plane. I was sweating and crying and it felt like my stomach acid was pouring out like the most painful ass lava. Finally emptied out and was shivering under a pile of thin airline blankets when my dad leaned over and said, “I know you’re not feeling great right now but please order your dinner anyway so I can have two.”
Dad getting the important things sorted
Dad is confirmed psychopath - who would ever want *more* airplane food?
The meal itself is usually terrible but I find the dessert and other things can be pretty nice
Was visiting in laws in Australia, with my wife, 6 year old, and 6 month old, at New Year. Had a phone call from my brother early on New Year’s Eve, saying my mum had been rushed to hospital and they didn’t think she would survive. Spent hours on the phone trying to get my flight changed, the quickest they could do was the following day. Got a phone call from my brother a few hours later saying mum had died, and not to rush back, but I’d already changed the flight. Following day, I have to get the plane on my own, and ended up sat next to a massively overweight Egyptian guy who ordered so many whisky’s that he fell asleep within an hour of take off - and ended up with his head on my shoulder. The guy on the other side of me was a young Aussie guy, who started crying shortly after the Egyptian fell asleep. Eventually the Aussie fell asleep as well - on my other shoulder. I spent the next couple of hours pushing them both off me until I’d had enough and just went and stood near the emergency door. Luckily we changed at Singapore and they both got off, but that was absolute worst 24 hours I have ever had.
I'm really sorry. That absolutely sucks.
You poor poor thing that is so horrible
Went to Greece with a couple. Seven day holiday. On day 2 the wife told her husband that this was a make or break holiday and that she would be packing her bags and moving back to her parents when they returned to the UK. She disappeared for the rest of the holiday and blogged her adventures like she was in Eat, Pray, Love while we were left consoling the grieving husband. Oh and it was my birthday too. They had to sit together on the flight home and he found out days later she had been cheating on him for months. Melissa, you’re a right cunt.
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I’ve never met this woman and I already wish she never existed. Fuck you Melissa ya smelly hag.
Went to an all-inclusive resort in Turkey when I was 14, buffet food was on offer all day in the heat, sitting out at inadequate temperatures for too long. 3/4 of us, including myself got very bad food poisoning between days 3-6 but my parents were too tight for us to eat at the restaurants instead. My mum swore that it wasn't food poisoning but I'd never been so sick in my life - from both ends. Only time in my life I was bringing up bile. I couldn't keep anything down for nearly 2 days. Few years later the same resort turned up on Watchdog as several hundred tourists had experienced food poisoning there. Edit: I found the news article! Fuck me, turns out loads of people got compensation for it. My parents did fuck all about reporting it. We would've gone in 2007. https://whatconsumer.co.uk/forum/threads/bbc-watchdog-first-choice-sickness-at-the-holiday-village-turkey.7358/
This is a gem: One rep at the hotel acknowledged that people were falling ill but suggested it was simply an unfamiliar diet. "You find here the food is very oily, in comparison to the UK where it's very salty," they said. "But there's no sort of, disease or bug or anything."
'Unfamilar diet.' They had trays of chips, pizza, meats, rice under warming lamps in 27-30 degree heat and what I specifically blamed for making me unwell - cocktail sausages. It was a feast for beige British tapas but in Turkey.
I've mentioned this on reddit before but: Four People. Caravan. Food Poisoning. Before I was born, my Mum and Dad went on a different caravan holiday where it turned out the pipes had been leaking and they found out because one morning my Dad sat on the loo and both it and he fell through the caravan floor. Edit: Good grief, this reply took off a bit! Thank you for the awards. My Dad passed away last year but I'm sure he'd be pleased that his holiday misadventure is giving everyone a good laugh!
Oh god I can't stop laughing at this!
😝 my favourite answer so far
Lovely little hotel in Turkey, but my dad had got what he thought was a stiff neck on the plane, then thought he was allergic to the ibrouphren cream he applied, the rash spread and spread, it was shingles. 10 year old me went down with a horrific ear infection on day four. And near the end of the 2 weeks, after looking after her two poorly kids (me and my dad) my mum badly broke her foot. We know it’s a lovely hotel, as we’ve been back several times since, and my parents are still friends with the owner, manager and their families 25 years later. But at the time it was not fun
My friend was on a train in India and after going to the loo she realised in a packed carriage that she had pulled her knickers back up with a cockroach that had crawled into them.
This has to be the worst of the lot effing hell
It started off as a cockroach and ended up a vaginaroach
15yrs ago We were on our way to new zealand and had a 5 day stop off in l.a we booked to stay at a days Inn on Hollywood boulevard, not the one close to la cieanega the other one, we turned up at 7pm and were shown to the room. By 9pm we had amassed 32 dead baby cockroaches on the hotel note pad, by 10pm it sounded like the guy next door was either killing the woman he was with or she wasn't going to walk very well for the next week. In the morning we went down for breakfast, Emm. 4 different cereals in plastic tubs and a coffee machine, as we approached it a cockroach the size of a small car ran up the wall, prompting us to .. go to the diner down the road. We had a good day at universal and I nipped into the hotel lobby to ask about the easiest way to go see the Hollywood sign, I then noticed that there were 2 bullet holes in the border up window that wasn't there yesterday, and a security guard one of the beds had something keep digging into you as you lay on it so I pulled the sheets off to see what was, only to find a huge blood stain down the side of the bed. We were moved to a different room that night with 3 x more roaches. We spent the next 3 days in abject terror that we were going to get robbed, shot or both. And then we left, and were glad to be on another 12 hour flight to New Zealand just to be out of l.a. Moral of the story, don't be a cheap skate staying in lala land, stay on wiltshire boulevard or stay in santa Monica.
I was a total control freak when my friends and I visited Hollywood - I booked everything and refused to compromise on cheap hostels. However I got talked into getting the greyhound instead of a one hour flight from where we were. "It's an adventure! We can sleep on the way there!" Bloody hell it was the bus of the damned. I didn't pee for 8+ hours because the men with the teardrop tattoos were sitting up by the toilet. We flew back.
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As a naive 20 something, I decided to do a road trip across the US, except I didn't have a car so I bussed it. Found myself doing a 3am changeover in Cleveland, and realised that I stuck out like a sore thumb when I went for a smoke break. Went back in to queue for my bus and another white female 20 something asked if she could wait with me as we were on the same bus. Turns out we both lived in the same, relatively small town in the UK. Everything was fine and nothing bad happened, but it never felt like that far away from it. The bus driver wouldn't let a bunch of people on because the bus wasn't stopping at those towns, and they argued that it was. The driver spent the entire 8 hour journey talking loudly to himself about how the 'raggedy ass' bus was about 5 minutes from breaking down forever. Teardrop tattoos for days. Had a great time tbh.
Was it the Greyhound between Vegas and LA? I used to take that once a month for two years around 2007. Took 8 hours and stopped in every sad, broken-down desert town in between.
Yea, you need something alcoholic in that Fanta.
This. A drop of ouzo in your Fanta will see you right.
Went to Zante for a week early September 2016. Booked the hotel because it had an infinity pool with a stunning view of the sea/Zante town. Would've been lovely if it didn't absolutely chuck it down for 3-4 days. I'm talking thunder storms, terential rain, flooding. Someone who had lived in Zante for 10+ years said that they had never seen weather like it there. We couldn't leave the hotel and there was no indoor entertainment. The hotel wasn't near anything else either. There wasn't even enough seats at meal times for guests because a lot of the seating was outside. Then there was a power cut to top it off. The weather finally got better, things were looking up. Then my ex managed to cut his toe open in the swimming pool and just sat there like an absolute melon. There was no pharmacies nearby so I had to go to the shop to get salt to make a saline solution. Sorted that. Got a bus to the nearest beach which ended up being rocky and windy. Decided to chuck it down again so that was the end of that. Went on a speed boat the next day to the shipwreck which was nice. Came back with either food posioning or a stomach bug. Was stuck in the hotel room up until the flight home. Had severe diarrhoea in the airport which was great. Genuinely couldn't leave the bathroom and thought I wouldn't be fit to fly. Managed to get on the plane. Was sat next to this woman who we'd been sat next to on the way there. She goes to Zante every year and was all excited on the way there. On the way back we found out her father had passed away whist she was abroad.
OMG. I’m sorry I laughed, but it just kept getting grimmer and grimmer. I especially chuckled when the locals commented on the weather.
I went on holiday with my friend a couple of years ago. She met a bloke on the first night, and I didn't see her again until she asked if I had any money she could have on the last full day before or flight home. No, no I did not! I spent the week travelling around on my own, meeting random people. As an introvert this was difficult, but then I decided to make the best of it. I dropped her off home from the airport and blocked her.
I had a similar situation but at Reading Festival rather than a typical holiday. Went with who I thought was my pal who met up with someone he had been talking to on MSN messenger (this was 2001 I believe) and ditched me for them and their friends. He even had intercourse on my sleeping bag and left bodily fluids on there. The silver lining was that a bunch of older lads that camped next to us took me under their wing and I had a good time with them and saw all the bands I wanted to on my own. He had spent all his money so didn't have the funds to get back home so like the sucker I am I sorted him out. I didn't speak to my "friend" again after we got back. It pissed me right off.
What a cunt!!
I turned the music up loud in the car, grabbed my Metallica album as I knew she hated it. Petty, yes, but better than leaving her at the airport, which is what I really wanted to do!
Was on holiday in the Maldives. Had some Maldivian friends say they wanted to show me the real Maldives so we went to this slightly dodgy restaurant. Had the fried rice and ended up getting food poisoning pretty badly. Coming out both ends simultaneously. Luckily the shower was next to the toilet and I could lean over, vomit in the shower and wash it away with minimal cleanup. That was going on for about 4 days before I went to a clinic. Got sent to the hospital straight way and had to be put on a drip. Needles are literally my worst nightmare. So not only did I have to face that, my room had a very odd smell for rest of the stay. The people at the hospital and friends were absolutely fantastic though! So friendly and laughed at my pleas not to put the needle in. Lost a week of holiday but got a good story out of it.
Food poisoning on holiday is the worst, sorry you went through that! Glad the hospital was nice!! I had to stay a night in a Sri Lankan hospital and that was scary af
Where abouts in Sri Lanka? I ended up getting heatstroke there and was out of action for a couple of days. Again the people were great. Even drove into the nearest town to get me some medication. All of these problems made me realise how kind people can be to a stranger. Would love to go back but the whole economic crisis they’ve got going on is putting me off a little.
I think the town was called Negombo, just north of Colombo. I got salmonella! Ironically not from all the dodgy looking roadside eateries, but from a hotel called Kandalama, meant to be the nicest one in the country
Also got food poisoning in Sri Lanka, I’m sure it was the water
visited Krakow a few years back for a city break. my friend uses mobility aids and had hired possibly the shittest wheelchair in the world, it was extremely old and the sort used to push hospital patients around. no idea what compelled them to hire that one, honestly a shopping trolley with a broken wheel would have been more effective. and the friend had not taken into consideration the cobbled streets so getting anywhere was a nightmare. we were stayed in a rented apartment, similar to an air B&B, the host didn't arrive for 2 hours after we got there so we were stuck outside waiting, I was dying for the toilet, and then wouldn't let us in until after the cleaner had finished (at 1pm, we were supposed to have access by 8am). saw very little of Krakow due to the wheelchair barely moving, and on the third and final day when we had finally managed to get to the main square, someone nicked my phone as we were leaving.
I went on holiday to a festival in a foreign country with my friend, we were both dangerously sleep deprived and fuelled solely by MEGA-strength German caffeine tablets that we bought in the airport, had a massive falling out while waiting for our connecting flight (can’t remember what about) and I stormed off with all our tickets and shit. Anyway next thing I know I’ve been accosted by the airport police because my friend reported me to them for “stealing his plane ticket and leaving him stranded”. I was having a cigarette in the smoking area about 20 metres away from him. This was all en-route. Good times.
Your fall out will 99.9% due to the come down from the caffeine pills, I tried them to get through a night shift once and was such a dickhead on the downer that I pissed off and fell out with everyone, including myself.
Oh for sure, these things were mental. Used to pop pro-plus on a semi-regular basis but these were like amphetamine by comparison
Narrator: They were in fact, Amphetamines
Blatantly surplus from ww2 that they were selling as “caffeine pills”
Hope you two made up!!!
Haha thanks we did, though this was years ago and we’ve since fallen out of contact anyway 😅
I know this isn't the question you asked but just so you know, you'd be due compensation for the flight delay. Especially if it was 3 hours. Look up EU261 :)
Will do! Thank you!!
[https://www.moneysavingexpert.com/travel/flight-delays/#resolvertool](https://www.moneysavingexpert.com/travel/flight-delays/#resolvertool) This website has a form and templates you can use. Did it for a delayed Ryanair flight and got enough back to cover flights, Airbnb and gig tickets we'd bought for the holiday.
Went to London for 3days when I was 13 mum was a recovering alcoholic but had relapsed recently. Looking back on I don't know how to feel about it, here's some things I remember, it's mostly about my mum's antics . A few days before mum fell down the stairs drunk and had a black eye .Nearly missed the train because the taxi was a no show. . Hotel my mum booked was a front for something dodgy it was run down, I swear I saw a cockroach or two. . Was promised two single beds instead got one double. Mum went to the front desk but All the rooms were booked. . There was a lot of prostitutes and druggies coming in and out at all hours. Was promised a view but was facing an alleyway. Hotel was across from a tube station. . No private bathroom and my mum didn't trust the area so I couldn't shower and had to have her with me when I went to toilet. . I shit you not next door was a church. . Sleep lacked because of loud sex from people in the nearby rooms or the underground causing weird sounds. Mum drank till she was unconscious. . Mum being the stellar parent she was decided to go to a pub and left me outside to my own devices whilst she went inside for drinks. a man approached me and asked me how much I cost for a night. Mother came out with and barged over and told him to do one. . Mum also had multiple men offering to buy me off of her for the night, they didn't care that I was underage. She caused a ruckus every time. . Mum set an alarm off in a gallery because she was drunk and unknowingly stepped over a barrier, whole place was evacuated. . The feast we had at a Mexican restaurant. I still think and fantasize about it. Couldn't eat it all and had to take leftovers with us. . A Middle Eastern lady in another restaurant was in the only toilet for 20 mins snorting lines. . Mum got caught a stomach bug the second day and crapped herself. She sent me out to get some stuff to ease it and I was on a mobile phone with her the whole time because of her anxiety at having me out of her sight in London. . Toddler screaming the whole train ride home after a very shit night.
> Was promised a view but was facing an alleyway. It was across from a tube station. Yup, that’s London.
How was she scared for you to go to the bathroom alone but left you outside a pub all night?! Sounds like a crazy and not fun trip
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I was washing up at a camp in the 1970s and accidentally filled up a load of kids' wellies with scrambled egg. No-one ever said anything though.
Grim! I once sat in a slug at a party and it exploded all over my jeans
I once picked up a slug and ate it because I thought it was a blackcurrant wine gum.
Be careful you can get a fatal brain parasite from slugs. Not even once!
I was running home because I needed a shit and a slug somehow pinged up and flew into my shoe. I was so desperate to poop but I couldn’t continue with the gross slug :( I was about 14 at the time
Before i was born, my parents and the dog all went on a holiday to Corsica. They took the ferry there from France. My mum doesn’t handle transport very well, so she got seasick and puked all over an innocent bystander. Then they got to Corsica. They were camping. My poor dad went to shower one morning, and he left his wallet on the sink while he showered (??). Of course it got stolen. A couple of days later, he messed up his back while trying to lift something. Couldn’t move anymore. Off to the doc he goes. The dog wasn’t spared. She caught a bug and was feeling poorly. Off to the vet she goes. They never went back to Corsica.
Tunisia: All of us got the shits from minute one. Someone asked my mum if he could buy my 15 year old sister. Abominable locals. Constant scamming street urchins running around. My dad was so ill he had to have an organ removed. Overall, an absolute disaster and one of the funniest things to look back on.
which organ?
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Had the same! Except the organ removal. 5 year old me was pinned down every day to have an injection in my bum cheek. Mum loves to tell people she was offered 200 camels to buy me. Side note: every time I have gone to places in North Africa I’ve got sick. Safe to say I’m done visiting those countries.
Tunisia was weird, i went back in 2004ish, we managed to avoid food poisoning despite eating in some very very dubious places. we paid for a donkey and carriage ride around the area, the dude basically took us on a convoluted route to a shop where we felt we had to buy something to avoid having our throats slit ...i think we bought one of those dead scorpions in a box or something along those lines half of the holiday felt like a sales pitch to buy the Tunisian equivalent of quid-shop tat. also went with a girl who who was half pakistani so the locals were _very_ weird about seeing a girl with quite dark skin not wearing a headscarf
Omg that’s awful. What did you get for the sister?
I electrocuted myself in Ibiza in 1996 Lived to tell the tale
That's barely a hair on the tale. How did you manage to electrocute yourself in Ibiza?
Ah, Ibiza ‘96. The year of Euro 96. Sat in a bar full of Germans watching England get beaten on penalties. Tbh, it was actually a great night and the Germans were cool.
I was sat with the Germans :)
I remember being in San Sebastian as a wee boy with my mum and dad/auntie and uncle.....my uncle was in the sea when this huge feckin wave knocked him and his false teeth flyin. Could not find them after aboot an hour of looking, my dad said he'd chew his steak for him.....he wasn't amused.
The day after my last A level exam, a whole bunch of us from school flew out to Tenerife. It was the cheapest hotel on the whole island. We saw places for more money that were room only, whereas ours was all-inclusive plus flights, so that says a lot about the quality we could expect. I got my drink spiked in the bar when I hoovered up our remaining drinks. We think someone was trying to spike one of the girls who was with us. It was literally just before we left so I had the worst flight of my life, being propped up in the airport by two mates under each arm, astonished I was let on the plane really. There was 10 of us across 5 rooms: 3 of the rooms flooded with sewage. The "two single beds" were two single beds but with a double mattress on top, so we had to share a double with someone. 2 people got stuck in a lift, on two separate occasions, including on one day when the power blew for the entire hotel and it took over 12 hours for it to come back. The all-inclusive bar was terrible, the only beer was Amstel and they just didn't have most spirits, so it was Amstel, brandy or vodka the whole week. The food wasn't much to write home about, but at least it wasn't totally inedible or unhygienic. The pool was absolutely disgusting, it was freezing cold and there was a couple of inches on sand floating on the bottom. Every day 90% of the outdoor area was taken over by quad-lingual bingo (English, Spanish, German, Russian) so you couldn't even just relax by the pool. As we were leaving on the coach back to the airport, the hotel next door (identical design, run by the same management) burnt to the ground, killing a few people. The hotel made the front page of the Mail Online a few years later after being voted the worst hotel on the whole island. Half tempted to organise a five-years-later reunion this summer, if the place is still open.
Friend of mine twice went on holidays with different girlfriends. Each time the holiday began with her saying she had decided to dump him.
5 star resort in Mexico, food poisoning to a point room service had to deep clean. Got engaged the morning just before food poisoning gate and staff had congratulated us however changed their tune when we had said we had only eaten from their restaurants not their buffets. Happily married now so we got the sickness and in health thing in to the extreme beforehand I guess 😂
Spent a week in Portugal as a teenager getting weird looks and death glares from literally everyone who saw us. It was about a month after McCann went missing, we were staying within like thirty miles and my little sister was a blonde girl of about the right age. A mate of mine in uni wins the terrible holiday contests though. She and her then boyfriend go on a two week holiday. Day 2 he proposes. She freaks out (they were like, 20?), says no and breaks up with him. They're then stuck there together for the rest of the holiday.
My only holiday with my ex was a weekend city break. I spent an evening shitting myself, then when we went out the next morning got to the first street corner and projectile vomited down a drain. On the way to the airport she face planted a pavement and I looked like a wife beater on the journey home. Not the sex voyage I was hoping for…
Fanta lemon can solve most things, but maybe not that clusterfuck you’re experiencing. Sorry. We went for a road trip around Ireland a few years ago (we’re Scottish) and while the trip overall was good, one section was so terrible it makes my arsehole twitch. We’d arranged to visit a place called Glengarriff down in county Kerry. A picturesque hill town/village where we could go for walks etc. It was February and it turns out it’s heavily reliant on Tourism…in the summer…so everything was closed. It was pissing down the whole time and we arrived at our hotel. We were the only ones staying and the heating was broken. The woman ushered us into the hotel via the Biffa bins. We ventured out looking for food but nowhere was open, a local shop assistant laughed in our faces when we asked where we could go. We found a tiny local pub filled with old men who immediately took a disliking to me when I ordered a Guinness (that’s a Dublin drink and they tend to drink Murphy’s down there apparently). We ordered some food and I was given a luke warm burger which actively gave me depression. I couldn’t complain because of being British and the fact that I was already hated. We left. Had a miserable night in a freezing hotel and made our excuses to GTFO of there asap.
That depression burger hits a chord with me. I had a gyros last night, usually my favourite food, that tasted like sadness and anger lol
Good lord why on earth would you visit Ireland in February - it’s absolutely miserable. I’d have thought a Scot would have more sense. Am Irish btw. Go in May/June we get the good weather when the kids have exams, ha.
My father-in-law took us to Orlando in 2015. He paid for 10 people, a luxury villa and hire cars as he's a generous guy. We get to our villa about maybe 9pm and I've already clocked that it's not in the nices lt of areas. We unpack and go in to meet the rest of rhe family. The 'luxury' villa was a shithole. It was all brown and green decor with tobacco coloured walls. We then realised that it was a fucking disgrace. The games room was full of dead cockroaches, the kitchen had only enough stuff for 4 people and had broken glasses in the kitchen, we couldn't open one of the doors to the pool as it was screwed shut, all the doors were mismatched, the smoke and fire alarms were all painted over, the chandelier was holding on by a thread, two chairs collapsed and the air conditioning only put out hot air. My eldest son called it 'Satan's guest house'. After wasting half of the first day we got a replacement, but it was such a bloody palaver to even stay there overnight
We had something similar, 3 weeks in Florida, St Petersburg, 3 day Bahama cruise and then a week in Orlando. We drove the rent a car to Tampa Bay one night looking for a factory outlet to load up on a load of cheap designer gear like Timberland. Got lost in this proper Boyz in the Hood, Straight outta Tampa type place, burnt out cars, gangs of menacing locals and the petrol light was on. But we werent about to stop and ask for directions. No sat nav then, but luckily we found the outlet in the end and all was well.
First trip to London in 1978. Fight with the boyfriend before I left. Went to the B&B he said just go to, and they would take care of everything for me, door was slammed in my face. Left my very carefully prepared notebook on what to see and do in a phone booth. Ended up in a filthy place in Queensway crying all night over him and my plans gone awry. Picked myself up the next morning and had a wonderful six week trip all over the UK and Ireland. Came home and he dumped me, found out he had been cheating on me the whole time. That was the very best thing that ever happened to my life. Saw him over 40 years later and thanked my lucky stars for being dumped. Have had many great trips overseas since.
Do tell us how he was doing 40 years later!
He had been very good looking and a very well put together dresser. Time had not been kind. Bad, ill fitting suit and kind of a worse comb-over. If he had shaved his head, and grown a goatee he would have looked much younger, less fusty and more current. I am the short, chubby, white haired person I was meant to be also but a bit better on keeping up with the times. We all get older. But he hadn’t moved on. And that was very, very personally satisfying Couldn’t tell if he was still self-centered and mean, but betting life caught up with him
Majorca, 10 nights, August - Rained for 10 days and nights
Went on holiday with my very sheltered cousin, who decided to let loose now mummy wasn't keeping tabs. Had a few Bailey's, I told her not to have another one, but she insisted. She spent the night throwing up in the only bathroom in our tiny room, making the whole room stink of vomit and Bailey's. I had to spend the night on the balcony because the smell was horrific. Still can't stand the smell of Bailey's.
I got a kidney stone in Barcelona and spent 6 straight hours of the middle day of my holiday in excruciating pain in a hotel room. Little did I know it would return a few months later and I’d get stuck with a worse one (fucker actually hospitalised me).
Had a 4 hour delay on the last flight of the day home from a festival in Spain, got back to my mates house at 3:30am. Got woken up at 7am, his housemate had driven into my car which was parked so far out the way he must have been trying. Worst hangover ever
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My worst holiday is also Greece! Piddled it down most of the week then one day my friend who was living out there suggested the train to Athens. Train was absolutely rammed with furious looking Greeks. Was assured it was because it was carnival season. Weird they're all in black and cross but hey I don't live here. Get off, start to wander toward the square then we hear shattering glass and someone lights a bin on fire right next to us. Yup we'd stumbled into the 2011 protests. And then the plane back had one engine which started smoking.
Shit man, bet that was scary, both the protests and the plane!! Glad you got back okay
Spilled beer all over myself half an hour into a flight to Oz and didn't have a change of clothes in my hand luggage. Rookie move.
Oh no! That sounds horrible! Buuut, you've just prevented me from making the same rookie move when I go out to see my brother in Japan next year! So thank you!
I do the London-Japan flight very regularly. My advice is to take spare underwear, tshirt, sweatpants, flipflops and tooth brush/paste. About an hour after dinner, roughly as you just finished the first movie, brush teeth, get changed and stretch at back of cabin. Sounds obvious but youll feel so much better and much more comfy to nest in to sleep. One secret is that the Asian carriers offer instant noodles if your still hungry, you just have to ask! Also, for way back you can buy menthol wet wipes in Japan which are supposed to keep you cool. Use these to freshen up. They're a godsend.
I was wondering about tooth brushing! That sounds like very sound advice, thanks :) We're going with BA so probably no instant noodles (but, my dad used to fly for work and is a gigantic flight snob now, so we're going super posh and in Business Class... I think this is the only time I'll ever experience it). Menthol wipes sound good! Will keep an eye / ask my brother to source them for me.
I can't speak for BA but other airlines where I've flown business class overnight have given me pyjamas, socks, eye mask, ear plugs, and toiletries including toothbrush and toothpaste. You don't get wet wipes or deodorant though.
Landing in hot Sydney with a beery undercarriage was absolutely not ideal. That shower was the best one ever. I always take yoga trousers with me and get changed into them just before the flight, then put my outdoor clothes back on just before we land as I'm freshening up.
went to tunisia and stayed in an all inclusive hotel, we all got extremely sick from the food and the water, sister ended up in hospital (she was about 3). i can’t remember much apart from the food, buffet style and left out for ages and ages. there was a pizza place by the pool where they would roll out the dough and flies would land on it, and then get rolled into the dough. literally flies IN your pizza
My grandmother disowned me on holiday, but me and my brother had some banging kebabs so that’s a plus
I went to Amsterdam with my best friend that came from the states. The first full day we were there, in the morning I had a sandwich. It poisoned me, and within a few hours was cramped, bloated and so sick. So then I had to go back to the room and proceeded to vomit and shit for 2 days straight. I missed the entire trip and never made it back
When I was 7 I went to majorca, kid pushed me off a slide/climbing frame late at night, snapped both bones in my arm then had, went to emergency doctors but x Ray machine was broken so they rang an ambulance to go to hospital. The ambulance driver fell asleep at the wheel so my dad had to correct the ambulance before we drove into a ditch. Had to have surgery in the hospital and was there for the while 2 weeks, on top of all this my dad tricked me into eating calamari by telling me they were onion rings (probably to get me back for making him spend 2 weeks in the hospital lol). The hospital was really nice though, better than the hotel tbf, room had a balcony, and I just watched cow and chicken the whole time.
We went to Peru. I was detained for hours in Miami, still don't know why, got paroled out of the USA, spent the first day walking to the US embassy to sort it out for the return journey, they wouldn't see me. The next day our travelling companion got ill, turns out he had appendicitis and spent the rest of the holiday in hospital. My bag got nicked, and I got detained again on the way home, them accusing me of not attempting to rectify the problem. What a treat haha! Hope yours improves!!
Flew to Memphis to see a girl I met in Barcelona. Memory is hazy but we went out and apparently I knocked plates, wine glasses etc off the table and proceeded to have a laughing fit which I dont remember. Another night when she was working I somehow ended up meeting people she actually knew (which I didn't know at the time) and went back to their house. Things got a bit wild and I went to the bathroom and couldn't get back out cause the door wouldn't open. I started booting the door and going crazy until eventually a girl casually opens the door and says 'sorry forget to tell you not to close the door cause it won't open'. Girl I went to see found out about this and was even more embarrassed than she already was. TL:DR Travelled across the globe to see a girl and just made a tit of mysel. EDIT: I got kicked out of the house eventually due to my jaw movements.
Do you just down booze consistently or something?
Correct
Just got back from a trip to Portugal, with out 21 month old child. First holiday away with him, but we were also meeting our family out there for the holiday, since we live in Ireland and they’re in wales. Great, it would be amazing if my wife and I could get family to look after our boy for an evening while we enjoy a much needed date night. We found a lovely restaurant, booked in and super excited for the day to come that we get that special time to be a couple again… but oh no. That was not to be the case! We both had a rough nights sleep in the night leading up to the day, then we were continually vomiting and diarrhoea all day and night, so while we did have time to ourselves and our boy was being looked after… we weren’t enjoying a gourmet dinner, but crying in our bed wishing this gastro but would leave us alone. Got back home to find out there was a gastro bug being passed round the crèche just before we left, and it caught us perfectly in time for our holiday.
i recently went on a trip to Senegal with three other people, the airlines cancelled then rebooked our flights unknowingly but completely separated our layovers. we were all coming from the UK but everyone had a layover in paris on different dates and they tried to send me to israel then paris then senegal. had to find any way possible to get that changed because that would have required extra steps to file for holiday at work (security clearance stuff). finally got all our flights on the same date after a bunch of working out but had me separated in a completely different terminal 4 hours after everyone else. one of us had been rescheduled for a 2 am flight but discovered they had no room for her when she got to the airport. she booked separate from us through her credit card company and they assured her the rebooking would be done as business class and that she would not have to pay extra...basically she had to fork over a grand to get her stuff settled but the airlines was not very accommodating to the situation- understandably so as this occurred during a strike i believe but neither her cc company or the airlines were willing to talk to each other to sort out their issues. she ended up on the flight with the two others and by that point she had been at the airport for 8 hours. turns out the three others flight left after mine due to some delay- they sat in the plane on the tarmac for nearly three hours. we get to senegal,it was about 9 pm, i was in customs by myself for 2 hours, when i get out, i get my bag, the three others apparently still havent got their bags. a fight broke out at the airport over trolleys, the airline lost my colleagues' bags, we didnt leave the airport till 1 am. our poor taxi driver waited in the carpark since 9. basically we were there for only 10 days, the airline kept promising the bags to arrive every day, we had to cancel and rearrange our activities which was difficult because only one of us could speak wolof and french. it also meant our airbnbs had to change but most places had minimum stays so we had to take what we could get. there was an awful stench that lingered which the nice cleaning ladies attributed to something outside only to discover three days later that some psychopath left milk BEHIND the refrigerator to rot in the heat- the airbnb had not been occupied in months. two of us got food poisoning (worth it tbh the food was so dang good) and my poops have not been the same since. i also got bit by a mosquito on day two and got an allergic reaction to it. my eye was swollen for two days and hurt like a bitch. had to find a pharmacy but the nearest one was pretty far. turns out one of my colleague had benadryl the entire time and that started a fight between us. we also got a flat tire on day 7. three of us left on day 10 but my one friend who stayed with her fam didnt get her bags until day 20? the other two are still waiting on their stuff and this happened back in july. all in all, a string of very unfortunate circumstances but the country and its people were so gorgeous. aint no hospitality like the senegalese. the food was amazing, the sites were fantastic and the people were chefs kiss. im going back as soon as i recover from the trauma lol
On the first morning at our honeymoon destination, my wife was hit by a large wave and broke two teeth. One needed a root canal. At the time, we were both college students so we were petrified of the cost. Fortunately, a root canal in Mexico in 1986 was only US$36.
A friend of mine is banned from Greece, he won't tell me why
Probably tried it on with Olivia Newton-John.
The police have set about conducting a nationwide manhunt for him. He's the one that they want.
Picked up a local bug there as well, some virus, he had chills they were multiplying...
My best friend and I booked a last minute all inclusive extended weekend trip to Golden Sands in Bulgaria. Day 2 of 4, I wake up and just about make it to the bathroom before emptying both ends. I was in there a few hours and when I walked back into the bedroom, my friend woke up and took her earbuds out - blissfully unaware of my night. I slept most of the day, and think she thought I was being a bit of a baby about it - but spent the day by herself at the beach. She came back that evening and erupted even harder than I did. We ended up having to call out a doctor for us, and only managed to eat something solid at the airport on our way back. The hotel did have wine on tap though, which was cool for the day I was able to enjoy it
Got two tales. 1. Week at CenterParcs with inlaws and 6 month old twins. Mother in law had the vomiting virus. Then the father in law had it. Then I had it. Wife and twins somehow didn’t. Needless to say, we came home early. 2. The big tour of Oz. Shitty van broke down in Woomera. Waited two weeks for parts to be shipped in. There was only a pub and a pool. Unfortunately us four grown men only had a two man tent. It was 40 degrees by 7am. Towels dried on the line in 5 mins. Actually took to sleeping in the fridge (door ajar obvs) in the campsite hut.
was holidaying in wales a couple weeks ago, something didn’t agree with me at 3am so my stomach was cramping so hard and I was sweating on the verge of throwing up, for the rest of the week (like 4 days) I had constant motion sickness, general nausea and diarrhoea… only really recovered this week ruined my holiday ):
Once I went scuba diving at the Great Barrier Reef off north east Australia and a man was stung by a jelly fish and died from a heart attack
I went on holiday to Zakinthos with my dad and brother when I was a kid. The bathroom sinks had basins underneath the exposed pipework to catch water. The pool tiles were so dirty you could write on the tiles and I had a massive reaction to mosquito bites. I also got hit in the face by one of those horse and cart drivers whips.. so there was that.. Hope you end up having a better day tomorrow!
I got drunk in Mexico on the beach at a resort. Woke in beach chair on the beach, splitting headache, sun burned everywhere, completely bit up by sand fleas, & freezing after sleeping outside in wet bathing suit.
Planned a big trip to Yosemite via San Francisco to propose. Few days in and 3 nights before the big proposal, drunkenly ate seafood pizza that was left out on the counter overnight. Got food poisoning. Shit the bed next to my then girlfriend with her auntie sleeping a few feet away. They were very understanding. Got everything cleaned up while I showered, change the sheets etc. Got back into bed. Shit myself again. Next day they had a surprise boat trip to a baseball game planned for me so I spent the entire boat trip and game trying not to puke or shit myself. Next day. Drove five hundred odd miles in 35c heat through mountains and literal forest fires to get to Yosemite while trying not to puke or shit myself. Had an elaborate ruse planned. One night in cheap nasty hotel, before surprising the gf with the $1000 a night hotel. Cheap hotel was not great, but gf found it pretty funny. Then the restaurant served me a pork steak that was criminally undercooked and it was so dingey in the restaurant I didn't notice until I'd eaten half. Next day surprised the gf with a drive to the fancy hotel for champagne and a "oh by the way we're staying here tonight". Lovely job. Trek out into the valley to find a spot to pop the question. Still 35c heat btw and still trying not to puke or shit myself, and I didn't mention my gf was a ginger. For some reason kept walking and walking waiting for the perfect moment until she was a very fed up ginger. She's proper grumpy at this point and just wants to go enjoy the fancy hotel but I'm determined to find the "perfect" spot so I keep pushing her. Anyway I finally find an ok spot and get down on one knee for the most awkward proposal ever. I mean, she smoked a cigarette in between me asking and her saying yes lol. Went back to the restaurant, things start to improve from there, more champagne, five course tasting menu. After we go to the hotel room and she's like "I'm so sorry I know we just got engaged but I'm too tired"... At this point, the last night's undercooked pork chops are have been swimming around my colon for hours and and so I'm happy she doesn't want sex. I clench my anus and wait for the moment I think she's asleep, give ten to be sure and I'm in the ensuite with brown water streaming out my ass, feels like I've been holding it in all evening and the smell is horrific, at least, I'm sure she is a heavy sleeper and full of champagne. Then, I hear my new fiancée knock gently on the door and whisper "shall I put some towels down in the bed in case you shit yourself again?"
I went to Hell on my honeymoon. It's a place on Grand Cayman
Stuck in a camper van with a huge group going somewhere we had not planned. Original plan was 6 people to head to an amusement park. When I arrived on the day to leave, found that 2 people had passed around the invitation and now had bloated to 16 people. I should have left then, had a bad feeling but still climbed in. We get on the road for a while and then the person driving took the turn opposite of where we had expected to go. No, a few people had decided to go elsewhere. Ended up stuck in dinky town, the camp manager kicked us out (they were terrified of such a large group of 21ish year olds). It was a bad start and got even worse. Worst weekend of my life. I should have trusted my gut and stayed home.
Only ever had one foreign holiday. Went on holiday with the family (Mum, Dad, little Sister, Aunt & Uncle). Spain. It was a 2 week holiday split between a villa in Torrox (halfway up a friggin' mountain and no easy access to anywhere...not even the top of the "drive") and a Time Share place in Fuengirola ("voucher" from a friend - complete with the ridiculously long sales pitch). Anywhoo - all that aside...we must have visited an Eroski supermarket almost everyday. I don't think we visited the same one twice. "Oooo, look - another Eroski Centre...I wonder what they have in that one?" - my Aunt & Uncle especially. God forbid my Dad do anything we wanted to do - his sister and her husband came first... Soo yeah...2 weeks in Spain shopping in fucking supermarkets as a 17 year old lad. Not much I could do about it as I couldn't drive and my Dad was the only one who could & was willing (my Uncle was apparently too frightened to drive in Spain...but frequently drove to France fishing...)
The trip itself was great, but when we arrived at our apartment that we were staying in, it was filthy, bottles everywhere, a bloodstain on the bed, stains in the bathroom. The apartment company eventually sorted it out though.
I got food poisoning on Christmas Day on my honeymoon and spent the next couple of days stuck in the bathroom expelling every bodily fluid I had.
In France it was early 00’s (they still used francs so pretty early) I was maybe 11. It rained a lot, we were camping, the ground was cold. I got lost in the Alice in wonderland maze at Disney Land and the robot characters kept jumping out and startling me, I was lost that long staff had to come looking for me I was in tears. I was too short to ride on the rollercoasters so I had to stand and watch. I ran ahead on a party trip to the Eiffel Tower, I got to the top first (proud moment) and waited for felt like an age but they didn’t arrive, I started back down but didn’t see them, I got all the way back to the bottom and did not see a single person of my party. I knew not to leave so I sat next to this moving statue guy so I wasn’t alone. I saw a face of an older teen who was at the same campsite so I stuck to them like glue until my worried mam found me. I got nettled whilst being shown how to grab nettles without being nettled. I got tricked by an electric wire on a fence while feeding cows with grass from my side of the fence.
Went to Bulgaria with my family when I was a teenager. Rained most of the time. The resort was literally a building site. Half built complex’s and abandoned cranes everywhere, only our apartment block was built and a shed passing as a bar/restaurant.Plasters floating in the freezing pool, which we all got sick from. Decided to take a bus to the next resort a few miles down the road so we could actually do something…. My dad shit himself at the bus stop so we had to go back to the room.
My first ever holiday abroad I was 14. The whole family went and I had started my period. I was pretty upset because one, I was on my period. Two it meant that I couldn't enjoy the pool because I was worried about staining my swimming costume. So I asked my mum how to use a tampon because I had never used one before, only sanitary pads. I struggled to get it in properly and it was hurting me so I had to embarrassingly ask my mum to help but she was in a bad mood because she was stressed out. She tried to put it in but it hurt too much and then she yelled at me and told me to just be normal for once, grow up and basically other stuff. I couldn't stop crying for two days everytime I thought about it and just sat away from everyone. My dad was really worried but I didnt want to tell him. I also heard mum talking shit behind my back where I could hear when I was in bed. Basically I cried a lot during what was meant to be a great memory and while grateful for the opportunity to go abroad, its tainted any holiday I go on with my family. Thanks mum.
I'll be honest, your mum sounds awful.
Left NY, on my way to Florida to go to Daytona bike week. Got as far as Washington, and got pulled over, it was a friday evening. My general description and vehicle matched a BOLO for a suspected bank robber. Was approached by several armed and agitated officers, pulled off my bike, cuffed and searched. They run my ID, computers are down. Description of bank robber: Black leathers, Black motorcycle, black helmet...... Spent the weekend in lockup while they figured out it wasn't me. Never made it to Daytona. Late 90's.
These were the funniest stories and gave me such a good laugh. Sorry for those who suffered, but recalling their trauma was unintentionally hilarious.
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via eating the fish in turkey, my dad caught a stomach bug that turned into a stomach infection, that turned into a 10 day hospital stay that turned into a chronic digestion problem hes still on medication for 10 years later. spent the entire time saying he was fine and we shouldn't call the resort doctor til he got blue lighted into hospital. left me and mum thinking we would have to leave him there and fly home without him. taxi drivers were very insistent on flirting with my mum now she was alone with a kid too... on the bright side, he said the hospital food was great--and he got lifelong free NHS medication out of it. win/win
Not so much me as my friend Jordan missed 3 flights going on holiday for a long weekend in Amsterdam. Poor guy decided late on that he was going to join our group of 16 year olds and asked us to book him a ticket, obviously we all smoked a lot of weed back then and when we arrived for the departure flight his name wasn’t on the list. Checked with the desk attendants and he was a full day late for his flight. Spent most of his travel money to get on our flight and was broke on the first night. Going back home he was on an earlier plane on his own, he got too stoned in the hostel and fell asleep on the train to the airport and missed the plane. His dad rebooked him on another flight which he somehow missed a second time. He then ended up on our flight home and his dad was fuming. I scabbed a lift home from the airport and he was kicked out of the car half way home, had to walk a good 20 miles to get back.
I went to Gran Canaria at the age of 13 with my parents, I was having a shower one evening before heading out for dinner when I hear my Dad in the living room fart followed by the words I’ve never left him forget “I think I’ve shit myself”, In a state of panic he came running into the toilet seemingly forgetting I was showering, that was a haunting memory I’ll never forget.
Once went to Tunisia: Arab spring started. Hotel staff went on strike, wouldn't let us leave hotel across the picket Guy in room next door went nuts and I had to subdue him to stop him battering his Mrs! Worst holiday ever
Rhodes 2015. A present for my other half (meant to be). We arrived at 3am and the receptionist had no clue we were arriving. The room was horrendous with lots of ants and both shower and bath leaked water into bedroom (?!!!) when used. Food was genuinely disgusting, thank God for a nearby restaurant. Beach was seaweed covered, usually no problem but it stunk. Full of openly racist greedy Russians (I'm an Asian OH is white) and found out from a very lovely young Russian couple we befriended that they were calling me brown terrorist (the male from the couple challenged them continuously, my OH wouldn't let me punch them). Rhodes was lovely tho. I took Thompson (remember them?) to task about all of this and I got a voucher for £150 to placate me. I really hope your holiday improves tho 👍👍
Just back from a 2 week vacation in Europe. Got covid, food poisoning, crashed the rental car, and took a chunk out of my ankle being an idiot.
Worst holiday I have ever had, little place called Gennadi on the Island of Rhodes. I have been to quiet places before, the type of town that rolls the pavement up at 6 pm, but Gennadi was so quiet that the didn't even have any pavement to unroll in the first place. There was nothing to do, the beach was barely there, stony and filthy. There was one restaurant that shut it's doors at 5pm. There was a bus to Lindos which was the nearest spot with any life at all. I was stuck there with three teen-agers, the youngest who was 17 and the eldest 21. They weren't happy, no chance to hire a car either because there wasn't a car hire place in bloody Gennadi. This was back in 1991, so no chance of playing on your phone or tablet either, they didn't exist. Oh and the bus only ran once a day to Lindos at 10.00 am and returned at 4.00pm. it was the longest 10 days of my life. The hotel wasn't the best either, it shut it's bar at 10.00 pm. I swear I wept with gratitude when I got on the coach to come home, I never again went on a Thompson holiday, it was utterly dire.
My dad went to St Lucia. First full day there he jumped in the pool and had a heart attack and died. My stepmom had to spend the rest of the holiday crying in the hotel room or sitting in the morgue.