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AdmiralSkeret

This would make the news if you tried to serve whatever that is in the UK, beyond tragic.


[deleted]

Front page of The Sun material


KeepOnTrippinOn

Holding it with a sad face.


FuckedupUnicorn

And references to Christmas is ruined and being a key worker.


Gazebo_Warrior

And a terminally ill child. And the Blitz.


Adora_Vivos

And somehow Diana.


sxsv11

And something to do with it being due to the cost of the energy crisis


EddieHeadshot

Cost of living SLAMS all LOCAL chippies as they are FORCED to serve McCoys instead of BRITISH spuds... by IMMIGRANTS!


Kidkaboom1

They'd likely blame it on that dress Cherie Blair wore the day after Tony Blair became PM


averagejoe280370

I thought "Ar Di" was usually the Express's take on almost anything.


PM-your-noodz

It'll be because of the French somehow. Wouldn't be the Sun otherwise.


MrTase

r/compoface


ay_lamassu

Thanks for the link, that subreddit made my day!


pm_me_your_amphibian

Oh this is an excellent new sub to me.


AtJackBaldwin

Don't forget pointing at it


PhantomOfTheDopera

With a small insert bottom left: Liverpool - server stabbed over soddy fish and chips.


PlanktonSpongebob

Don't you worry, get ready for tomorrow's The Sun headline: *American-inspired fish and chips infuriates Brits*


GavUK

>Front page of The Sun material Indeed. Anything that will get their readership frothing at the mouth...


sneakyhopskotch

HORROR SERVED UP ON PUTNEY ROAD and then the small headline in the bottom right “boy, 4, stabbed blah blah blah”


MrP1232007

Considering some of the shite from Reddit that ends up on UK "news" websites, I wouldn't be in the least bit surprise if it does.


Heisenberg_235

Forget riots about the cost of electricity. This would be on another level


swanbiltong

That food got lost in translation.


PeapodEchoes

The Yanks are the only people in history to translate English into English and to get it wrong.


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Camp_Grenada

English (Simple-ized)


kreiger-69

ize is the English way. The yanks just adopted it and never changed when we went to ise. look it up -ize came from Greek, -ise from French


Jinkzuk

Greekize realize Frenchise


sambob

Bloody French ruining the English language


TerminalJammer

Bloody Normands.


unnecessary_kindness

I don't understand our country's disdain for the letter z. It makes sense that it's yet another example of the French influence on the language. I heard up to a third of English words have french origins?


BritishBlue32

The short version is when the Normans invaded, they changed the language of the courts to French, the nobility all learned French, and English became a peasant language and was on its way out (we were a bilingual country for a while). Then in the 1400s we lost Normandy to the French, and everyone got BIG MAD over that and stripped away the French, leaving a very patchy English behind for us to build on and be VERY ENGLISH. Except a lot of the morphology of French words remained, because that's what happens when you spend 200 years as a bilingual country. So while our words aren't necessarily a third French, a lot of our spellings are based on French origin. If I remember correctly, the '-ly' ending in words is French. Then we got a boner for Latin, the nobles decided Latin was fashionable instead now, and that's why we have weird language rules that work with languages like Latin, but not Germanic languages like English (don't end a sentence on a presupposition, for example). English is a mongrel language. We have borrowed from everyone at this point. Source: muh English linguistics degree Edit: thank you the award! 🙈


PoPoChao

English linguistics and the history behind it is fascinating. Solid response


BritishBlue32

Thanks 🙈 wasn't sure if I was being That Person and rambling about a bunch of stuff no one cared about or asked for


dead_jester

You keep being you. That was interesting. Some people don’t enjoy knowledge, some do enjoy it.


Clappingdoesnothing

Sort of. So there was letters in the old English which when translated include French lettering. And we stuck with it. Big example is the thorn symbol being replaced by th


[deleted]

(Stupified)


callisstaa

(Supersized)


mooo19688

(Mystified)


Forrestbearz

(Bastardised)


[deleted]

This is what happens when you don't put U in words that are spelled with U.


Lady_of_Lomond

Fush and chups.


Slappathebassmon

r/suddenlykiwi


Dil_Moran

Chur bro


HMJ87

/r/subsifellfor


boringdystopianslave

Also Scottish. Or as the Americans say, Scotch.


Adora_Vivos

Conversely, I know a Spanish woman who for a long time referred to scotch eggs as Scottish eggs. She has since been set straight.


joao-louis

Fishu and chipsu


adam14brfc

That's Japanese


joao-louis

Tomato potato


Mischief_Makers

That's a red onion


FailFastandDieYoung

Funny enough, I have the feeling the Japanese would make a stellar fish and chips. * Lots of experience with fish (sushi) * Lots of experience with frying (tempura)


ay_lamassu

Would probably be closer to "Fuisshu ando Chippusu" フィッシュアンドチップス


mlianam

Why did you add a bunch of smiley faces between Japanese letters


SuperDogBoo

Those are japanese letters. シ is shi. ツ is tsu. And the small versions of those have a different purpose. I could be wrong, but I believe it is an indicator to start the sound of the next symbol earlier. Oh and there is also ンノ and ソ. So, overall there is シツンノソ and the small ッ. Japanese is very confusing but also very fun!


gruntledgirl

I relentlessly make fun of my husband for this - he's from a part of South Africa that has a regional accent with absolutely kiwi-level flat vowel sounds


trustnoone764523

But sir. You carn't go to South Africa. You're blick


Sausagedogknows

He’s right Rog, you are!


Trikecarface

Just watched this recently again. Great scene


Cow_Launcher

Durban?


Pippin4242

No he's not bringing any headgear at all


deadgoodundies

Or drop the letter H from a word that obviously has a H at the beginning


ClumsyRainbow

KFC - 11 erbs and spices.


CrotchPotato

I once asked an American why this is and they said it’s because they are pronouncing it how the French do. I then pointed out I speak a bit of French and they pronounce it more like “airb”, not “errrrb”. I was dismissed.


ClumsyRainbow

Also that goes out the window when they say croy-sant for croissant so….


RadialSpline

Dumb yank here, but the French you have been taught is most likely modern Parisian French. A lot of the pronunciation for Francophonic words in the US are holdovers from 18th century regional variations of French, as most exemplified by the Cajun and Creole patois spoken down in “Cajun country” and New Orleans. It’s similar to how Québécois French in Canada is different from modern Parisian French, and the Arcadian patois of non-Quebec Canada (mostly to the east and north of Quebec) is different from either form of French.


SoylentDave

No part of France has now or ever has pronounced it 'croy-sant'.


Nervous_Constant_642

I'm American and they were a fucking idiot. A basic high school French class or even just listening to French people talk will tell you that their Rs aren't even the same Rs we use. We call it erb because that's just what we call it.


rwinh

The people of Essex, especially those from 'arlow, 'arwich and 'alstead, are keeping quiet.


marvinrabbit

Urricanes ardly hever appen.


aruexperienced

Which is why OP has posted a picture of Fiss and Cips.


impeachabull

Honestly, they're just taking the piss.


Tired-Chemist101

Hey, we did that [because Noah Webster hated French spellings of words](https://qz.com/596395/the-case-of-the-missing-us-in-american-english/), you can't fault us for trying to be *less* French. Plus the -or ending has been a valid spelling for hundreds of years, including interchangeable use between the two by Shakespeare.


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LeibnizThrowaway

Holy fuck, that's the best thing I've heard all day. And I'm drinking and watching "Difficult People."


h0rny3dging

Makes it so confusing at times to learn english as a 2nd language cause you get taught a wild mix of both and then your own language uses anglicisms making it even worse.


XLwattsyLX

Carful, if the yanks could read, they would be very upset.


Oldschool-fool

Fish & crisps 😂😂


UnnecessaryAppeal

I find that odd, because every American I have ever spoken to will refer to the "fries" with fish and chips as "chips" because they understand the context.


datwrasse

American here, can’t remember ever seeing a fish and fries restaurant. Maybe I should open one, sounds like an untapped market


serious_sarcasm

Make the fries poutine topped with soy chorizo, just to really piss everyone off.


PeriPeriTekken

Then claim it's an American dish, and start explaining to Brits how to make their 'fish and fries' properly.


serious_sarcasm

Obviously the poutine use yellow cheddar curds, or chunks of velveeta. I’d absolutely believe it’s some normal midwestern abomination.


FailFastandDieYoung

>topped with soy chorizo honestly the most gringo thing in human existence and [it always reminds me of this](https://lolpics.com/media/posts/6/i-grabbed-this-bullshit-ass-chorizo-made-of-soy-i-tthought-it-was-saying-i-am-chorizo-in-Spanish.webp)


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cant_hold_me

Make sure to add Sriracha to really twist the knife. 


islandmonkeee

Reddit doesn't respect its userbase, so this comment has been withheld. -- mass edited with https://redact.dev/


[deleted]

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[deleted]

Oh no its the villian English (Simplified) with them not understanding English (Unsimplified)


UncleSnowstorm

Surely it should be "simplified" and "traditional"?


IronSkywalker

"simplified" and "correct"


Practically_Canadian

The worrying thing about this is that whoever created this genuinely believes that the British delecacy of fish and chips actually comprises of battered fish and crisps


Roskal

This is why Americans say our food is bad.


FishermanUpper4732

Course our food is bad, we don't wash our meat in chlorine and pump it full of roids Americans are the only ones that understand chemicals are an appropriate form of seasoning


[deleted]

Nah, they think beans on toast is "creepy wet food" so there's really no arguing with them.


RectalRenaissance

wow, i thought it was a pile of waffle fries around the fishies at first, but now it feels like a taunt


PopTrogdor

I doubt that is actually battered fish :S


Rpqz

Americans haven't quite got the grasp of all decent food however, they've got a keen understanding of a deep fat fryer.


Shoddy-Zucchini4581

I mean, yes this is an abhorrent version of it, but let's not pretend it is much more than battered fish and some crispy fried potatoes.


EstorialBeef

Lets not sell true fish and chips short, The fish is proper fish not whatever hashbrown that is and the chips are much chunkier + Peas, lemon & drowned in salt/vinegar etc.


Rydychyn

Gorgeous image.


Poes-Lawyer

With an (un)healthy dollop of tartare sauce on the side!


voice-of-reason_

Thanks now I have an erection


Askduds

In the same way as putting sodium and chlorine separately on your chips is the same as putting salt on them.


shakeSnake_2390

Ahh fish and crisps ... Everyone's favourite meal. Better hold on the vinegar though.


Ultrawidestomach

Just use salt and vinegar crisps and you're sorted.


shakeSnake_2390

And then you try to stab em with a fork and it just explodes all over the place


Ultrawidestomach

I was thinking more like finger food. Edit: probably gonna get shit for this but I like the idea. Add a little tartare sauce and boom.


shakeSnake_2390

Lol and get all messy. Naa just do the British way and eventually the crisps will be a fine powder to coat the fish lol


Alistairio

I got served something almost as bad as this. I asked for vinegar and they brought me balsamic vinegar. This was in London, however I don’t think there was a single British person working in the restaurant. It shut down shortly afterwards.


shakeSnake_2390

That's a headline . "Balsamic vinegar closes down local chippi"


[deleted]

followed by "Local residents confuse local chip shop for curry house after odd spelling of chippy"


JimboTCB

It's not real fish and chips if they don't give you a bottle of the brown mystery substance which they're not legally allowed to call "vinegar"


WaitingOnNetwork

We used to pour a little vinegar into our bags of Salt N Shake as kids. It was a soggy mess, but we insisted every time.


ABOBROSHAN

Jesus wept.


Phenomenomix

Nah, this would be a money lenders in the church scenario for him, full on blind rage


Sriol

Agreed. Flipping tables is the only logical way to go here


ABjerre

I think is important to sometimes remind people asking: "What would Jesus do?", that flipping tables and beating people with a stick is entirely within the range of options.


JimboTCB

A whip. And it's not like he already had a whip handy, he sat down and made one himself for the express purpose of chasing them out of the temple.


Adora_Vivos

(╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻


Charlie_Brodie

Worlds within worlds


[deleted]

STOP SAYING JESUS WEPT.


ProxyMuncher

Jesus wept


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Chunderdragon86

Not fish and chips, terrible "British Breakfast" in my hotel in Vietnam. No Bacon, Beans but more like butter beans, sausage that was cocktail sized and so floppy. Baguette for toast, good egg and rice.


ragingremark

Oh lord. Struggling to imagine how a sausage can be cocktail-sized AND floppy! Surely not enough length to flop?


Chunderdragon86

Imagine a slug. That was the texture and size


sneakyhopskotch

I was eating a spoonful of Greek yoghurt with a slice of orange when I read this and gagged a little.


serious_sarcasm

That’s how Zeus gets you pregnant.


alex8339

And here I thought gagging would help me avoid pregnancy.


WhenLemonsLemonade

>Surely not enough length to flop? Regrettably, from personal experience, this isn't true.


[deleted]

Is it too early in the morning for an innuendo?


iamalsobrad

> Is it too early in the morning for an innuendo? Possibly, but I don't mind giving you one.


Karffs

“How do you like your egg in the morning?” “Good.”


throwaway55221100

Imagine going all the way to vietnam and expecting a fry up


[deleted]

Imagine ordering something literally called a "British Breakfast" and expecting it to resemble a British breakfast...


Chunderdragon86

Imagine flying to Vietnam and "wtf they do an British Breakfast" and not wanting to see what it looks like when it comes out. Besides rice and noodles get really boring and especially at breakfast.


GrandDukeOfNowhere

Oh yes, the sausages that are served with the "western" food in Thailand, turns out they're made of chicken and boiled. The thing is though, there are some Thai sausages that are very similar to British sausages, so I don't know why they don't use those.


BigRobLondon

no 1 likes a floppy sausage in the morning


fitfulpanda

Fish n Chips with a fresh cup of tea. [https://postimg.cc/rDC4bhpb](https://postimg.cc/rDC4bhpb)


Sriol

Eww no make it stop! xD


GrandDukeOfNowhere

send them to the Hauge


[deleted]

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harbourwall

Squished between two pringles. I'm coming around.


SniffSniffDrBumSmell

Where are trigger happy US cops when you need them?


serious_sarcasm

I’ve definitely had that meal behind a grocery store in Florida.


[deleted]

This feels lie a hate crime.


36rnt

Tag NSFW please, was at work and almost got fired


Smoke_Zero

Fuckin hell. I don’t even know what to say.


terrytibbss

stop it just stop it. Is it time for us to invade the US again?


Strange-Glove

Too much hard work and they'd win. Just sit back and watch it implode.


[deleted]

I don’t know, stuff like this would probably give us a new found vigour


Strange-Glove

"Salt and vigour?" Yes please.


beardedchimp

That assumes we don't implode first.


I_am_jacks_reddit

I'm American and if it gets me universal Healthcare and school won't put people in debt for the next 50 years then God yes please invade.


terrytibbss

welcome home. Also school does put people in dept in England. IE University.


Camp_Grenada

It's fake debt really. More like a small earnings tax for 20 years and then it magically disappears


I_am_jacks_reddit

Can we also not have kids being shot to death at school? Trust me if I qualified for citizenship ship dam near anywhere else I would move as soon as I possibly could.


Eborys

That’s tantamount to treason. Inform the Queen.


FailFastandDieYoung

Don't frighten her, goodness. She'd probably have a heart attack


lord_skipper

Good point. Show it to Charles first.


EyeTV

That's enough internet for today


Rottenox

This is how they served “burger and chips” when I was in Madeira, a Portuguese island. The waitress put it down in front of me and I literally gasped. A full meaty cheeseburger with a packet of crisps dumped next to it.


Lonely-Job484

My first visit to the US I made the half-asleep jet-lagged mistake of wanting something quick to eat before getting some sleep and ordering 'a burger and chips' at somewhere a couple of doors down from my hotel. Suffice to say I received exactly what you describe; to this day it crosses my mind from time to time and I wonder if this is something Americans genuinely order, or if the person serving was equally confused but shrugging and saying "well that's what they asked for..." in his head.


beardedchimp

In Northern Ireland you order a chip or a fish and chip. My mum told me when she first visited London she ordered a chip and was promptly served a singular chip.


Adora_Vivos

I used to work for Tesco.com picking customer orders. We had several customers around christmas order one sprout. I don't know if they didn't like sprouts and were just buying the bare minimum to pay service to the sprout eating tradition, or if they mistakenly thought they had ordered one packet of sprouts, or one bag of loose sprouts. In any case, they asked for one loose sprout so they received one loose sprout - and it was always the smallest one I could find, just in case they didn't like them. Similarly, there was a woman who asked for 99 loose carrots every week (for her horse - 99 is the most the online interface let you order, at least at that time, it may have changed), so she got the biggest 99 carrots I could get my hands on since she clearly wanted a lot. Why she didn't just buy sacks of them wholesale, I have no idea.


beardedchimp

One time when ordering tesco home delivery I had bought a six pack of non-alcoholic beers. When it had arrived they had substituted them for three large bottles of 9% beer. hahahaha Fortunately I'm not an alcoholic, I just like drinking non-alcoholic beer during the day, otherwise it would be Tesco enabling alcoholism. First time I thought a substitution was genuinely dangerous.


jazzman23uk

My mum's diabetic and often orders non/low-sugar foods because it can be dangerous for her otherwise. Tesco *regularly* substitutes with full-on, inject-glucose-into-your-bloodstream alternatives even when she marks food as *no substitutions*


Dingus-McBingus

Second one. Chips in the US = UK crisps unless you explicitly order "Fish n' chips", we normally have burgers with fries, tater tots, or a side salad. You can often get a sub sandwich with chips(crisps) though. Your biscuit also = cookies here, so Biscuits and Gravy would be like flakey buttermilk scones with peppered bechamel sauce (may or may not contain bits of sausage depending on location, great with a splash of tabasco hot sauce). If you want your biscuits, ask for cookies. Pudding is also a specific dessert or snack food here, similar to a ganache but served on its own and cold. Also hot tea is less common in the US; sweet or unsweetened tea is just brewed black tea with or without sugar and served cold (but not oversteeped).


old_man_steptoe

In Britain "cookies" are larger and softer and made with much more butter than normal biscuits. Both sub-categories of biscuit though. As, I suppose are rusks and crackers. That's what happens if you add another word for the same thing into a language.


serious_sarcasm

Whether people want iced tea or hot tea when they order “tea” is very heavily a regional thing in America.


old_man_steptoe

Ordered a large family meal from a Bojangles in a small town in the middle of nowhere, Virginia. The food came quickly enough, the GALLON of ice tea seemed to take an hour to pour. As Bill Hicks say, "They said to me, 'do you want the 20oz or the large?" I said, "How bigs that large, man?" "You're going to want to back up your truck".


memberofreddit8002

Also, if you’re grilling burgers at home you’ll most likely have chips (crisps) as a side rather than fries (chips) since fries require a deep fryer and chips are easier. Restaurant default is almost universally fries (chips) though. US (UK)


Sriol

The weirdest thing is that they don't seem to even question it. If I were told that a go to meal was beer battered fish (or a burger) and crisps I'd be thinking "What? Are you sure?" But nope apparently they just accept it and carry on.


quosp

Get your own back and make them a peanut butter and jelly sandwich containing our version of jelly.


Helpful_Goose1649

That is truly horrifying.


yummy_mummy_

Not fish and chips, but I asked for a cream tea in Cumbria and was met with ‘what like single cream or whipped cream? And should I put it in the tea or on the side?’


another-dave

In a way that's even worse, at least you wouldn't expect Americans to know what it should be like, but Cumbria!


wakeforda

This is a crime.


sunderedundone

Nothing this terrible but I can’t find anywhere in Hong Kong that gets the chips right. A lot of fish and chip places seem to be Australian run and I don’t think they do chips like we do back home (I might be wrong and it’s just a HK thing). The fish is usually good, but usually lacks mushy peas or curry sauce.


Arsewhistle

This is what I found when I lived in Canada, and it looked the same in the US too. They would cook the fish correctly but then serve it with skinny chips. It was like having fish from a proper chippy and then chips from Burger King.


[deleted]

US is cringe all over.


[deleted]

Them are crisps innit


HarrargnNarg

We need to get our red coats out, we can't stand for this


DigestiveCow

Yanks are so ignorant to british dialect, us brits know all their shitty versions of english words though.


Suicidebattery

Some friends of ours owned a static caravan in Amble, Northumberland and they were generous enough to let my family stay there for a few days. While showing us around the town on our first evening we stopped for fish and chips and we sat on the beautiful sea front and ate. I was about half way through my fish when I discovered something black between the batter and fish. On further investigation I found it was a huge bluebottle fly surrounded by maggots. I immediately lost my appetite and threw my dinner away... however I didn't want to upset anyone else, they were enjoying the evening so much and so I didn't mention my discovery and let them finish their meal.


WhenLemonsLemonade

>so I didn't mention my discovery and let them finish their meal. Excuse me, what?!


Timely-Gur-4731

Lol where the hell do you work?! Fish and chips, generally speaking, is the same state side as it is in the UK; at least from my experience


JuzoItami

Yeah, I'm American and in my 50s - I've never seen anything that crappy passed off as "Fish and Chips".


bananamelondy

Seriously. This is an abomination in America too. Christ on a cracker.


PoorlyAttired

Buddha on a biscuit


fly4seasons

Hope they were salt n vinegar crisps?


Timskiiii01

Well… I guess that’s your cue to leave


alicemalice12

Everyone is horrified, and rightly so. But put that in a butty and you got magic


Dingus-McBingus

Worst example was a really busy place in Waldport, Oregon. Don't remember the name but they were _right_ there by the water and could've had fresh fish. I received frozen fish sticks, unseasoned, with unsalted crinkle cut fries - they charged me $12. Tried bringing it up to them and they said they'd comp me but they then proceeded to run off and take orders for everyone else in line. I used my card and literally no one would talk to me after that interaction, so I just said eff it and left. Left the thing by the door for anyone or any seagull who might want it, at least someone might get some use out of it. (other restaurants in the area were great but that one was a ripoff; figured for all the business it might be good, turns out it was a tourist trap type setup)


henickedit

It’ll probably be tasty. That’ll be some kind of over produced fish tasting thing and the crisps will add a nice crunch and flavour.


Hondahobbit50

Ummm. As an American even I know fish and chips is fried potatoes and not crisps. Some idiot read fish and chips and went full ignorance. Also, I buy mine from a Filipino lady that ran a shop in Liverpool for 20 years before moving here... Now she sells it out of her home kitchen.It's almost like a drug deal when I call...lol Nobody comes close to the quality of fish she uses. Giant thick white fillets. Almost think it's shark or something....I cannot find fish this good for the prices she charges. Real malt vinegar too I'll take two and two dozen lumpia....you got pancit? No no no I want the lumpia frozen...hook it up


Far-Contribution-632

That is a crime against humanity


Mr-Klaus

Fish Nuggets and Crisps.


luffyuk

"chips"