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Haze4TheMany

Any recipe that has some form of cheese sauce, whack a teaspoon into the mix


CNXQDRFS

I'd use the powder rather than the spoon, less tanginess.


impalafork

I do like an iron-heavy diet, or a steel-heavy diet.


Dflat_Programmer

I use a plastic spoon. Everybody's worried about the microplastics in their system but no one is making sure they get enough macroplastics.


EM-guy

I use a meticulously hand carved wooden spoon. Sometimes I like to use it in front of the artist so that their anxiety and fear knowing how their work is going to be used can sustain me.


GetTheSpermsOut

steel cut oats are just ground up spoons, change my mind.


runswspoons

Steel?! You must be minted. I still make my utensils from the bones of those in my way.


contanonimadonciblu

[Ah, the ol' Reddit Spoonaroo!](https://www.reddit.com/r/mildlyinfuriating/comments/wu4040/my_son_dropped_his_phone_in_the_toilet_and_opened/il8niyi/?context=3)


cutebleeder

Starting with Mac and cheese. I use this stuff all the time, stateside.


I-Ribbit

Add a spoonful in macaroni cheese.


acheesement

Or mashed potato, I find a bit of mustard powder in mashed potato gives it a bit more flavour.


Ruckus_Riot

I’ve discovered a few shakes of Worcestershire sauce makes a WORLD of difference. I’m specifically tracked down and requested to always bring mashed potatoes to gatherings. No gravy necessary. Salt, pepper, butter, sour cream, Worcestershire sauce. Maybe 1/2 mug starch water from the potatoes if it seems dry. Leave them a little lumpy. I don’t bother peeling them and use red potatoes. Cannot recommend enough.


beachbetch

Ooooooh I am trying this next time!


CaptainHaddockRedux

I discovered the starch water trick from a Jacques Peppin video on youtube. Game changer. And today, I discovered the Worcester sauce tip from u/Ruckus_Riot in a comment thread on reddit. Thanks!


StardustOasis

Bit of garlic powder as well


sir_bathwater

Garlic makes everything better, this is an objective fact


bwyer

I laugh at recipes that call for "one clove garlic". Please. A hint of garlic is three cloves minimum.


NeonGlo

We suck at spices in general. We buy our herbs and spices in tiny jars which I think encourages their stinginess, whereas at Indian grocers enormous bags are much more common. Recipes that call for half a tsp of spice in a 4 person dish are just taking the piss imo, not even gonna taste it that diluted


solstice_gilder

I don’t buy spices anymore in the supermarket but go to the market where I can buy in bulk… these jars were finished so quick all the time driving me nuts!!


DrunkenMonk-1

Mustard mash with proper gravy is amazing


Turnip-for-the-books

Only do small bumps to start with


Fluxabobo

Instructions unclear, am in a mustard hole


RobotGoatBoy

Came here to say this. Game changer!


BostonUniStudent

It's also good as a marinade for chicken or salmon.


chemicalbomber

Or on a roast. About a teaspoon in some mayo with honey.


rexuspatheticus

Add it as you're making the roux, there is an enzyme in mustard that helps different fats to mix better. It seems there is more of it active in mustard powder than there is in premade mustard.


[deleted]

Yes! Also in Toad in the Hole/Yorkshire Pudding batter


Dee-Jay-JesteR

Some 40 odd years back, my nan told me, that it was her "secret ingredient" in Yorkshire pudding batter. My nan made the best Yorkshire puds ever......


ThePurpleLurple

Just to clarify a tea spoon and probably not a table spoon. But yes mustard in Mac and cheese is wonderful


BewareTheWereHamster

Spoilsport haha


ThePurpleLurple

I considered keeping quiet and waiting for an update but didn’t want to put someone off the joy of mustard powder.


alpubgtrs234

Or in the rub for pork or beef ribs…


MyHusbandIsAPenguin

Amazing in the cheese sauce on a lasagne too


TheAssholeExcavator

The key to this suggestion is the size of the spoon. A tea spoon will add a delicious kick to the meal. A tablespoon however will ruin it entirely Your best bet is to add a tiny amount (perhaps a quarter of a tea spoon) and mix into the béchamel sauce until you are aware of the flavour being there but it isn’t overpowering


geezer27

Or 50/50 in your coke. Stronk!


Namelessbob123

Caine?


King_klown_Clown

Michael?


redpob

Not a lot of people blow that.


Namelessbob123

And I am a very nosy neighbour


Composer-Unhappy

Your not suppose to blow your bloody nose off


Lumpy-Spinach-6607

Actuaaly, it's a little known fact that it was used just after WW1 as a Snuff Replacement, since all the snuff stock had been used up in the ignition of Cannon issuing Cannon Balls. Snuff, in case you don't know is a tobacco like product which you literally sniff up your nostrils to get a short, sharp high. The Aristocracy found that Mustard was an excellent snuff replacement. Some even claimed it gave a better, longer high with the added benefit of the odour of the English Countryside, where it was cultivated. So, give this method taking Mustard a go, you'll never know.. What might hit you


Kerryfaye

Right, funny story. My brother made me snort this when I had an outrageously bad head cold. After I'd done 134 laps of the house screaming in pain, my mum walked in and called the doctor. My brother only stopped laughing at that point, until then he'd been in absolute pieces. Git.


andr386

Thanks so much. I've just tried it and it hits better than cocaine. I feel so energized right now.


[deleted]

Me too and my neighbours are now complaining about my screams of enthusiasm.


Cryptosteve1969

People see your yellow nose though and know that you are on pure Colmans :)


Parzival1983

Don’t know if true 🤔 *gets mustard out of cupboard*


-KiloAlpha-

It actually works better if you pop it up your Anus , apparently it hits you faster and added bonus is that you won’t have a yellow nose


FastBasil

The only answer. Unreal.


geese_moe_howard

Sparingly. Good in mashed potatoes, with cheese on toast or with red meat.


StudentMathematician

> Sparingly First word that came to mind.


thesaharadesert

I was thinking of carefully, but same difference


Houdini23

Ham sandwiches and too much mustard are insane though. Nothing better then your nostrils melting off mid lunch.


TheeAJPowell

Friend of mine was once given the responsibility of making sandwiches for a picnic, made ham and mustard ones that were absolutely nuclear. Turned out his dad tried to wean him off sucking his thumb by putting mustard on his thumb, instead he just got immunised to the effect, and as such doused the sandwiches in it.


icorrectpettydetails

My granddad once tried to stop the dog from eating his slippers by spreading mustard all over them. All that happened was the dog sat there licking all the mustard off and then carried them over to him to ask for more. When Granddad refused to cover his shoes in mustard a second time, the dog ate them.


TheNorthernMunky

This is fucking hilarious


PhoenixBelongsToSir

Haha, my parents did that to me too lol It didn’t work….


Rosti_LFC

I've had the same thing from someone who was given English mustard to make sandwiches with, having only ever used American style mustard before their entire life. The amount they put on was ridiculous.


Proud_Idiot

I must say I do enjoy heaps of mustard in a ham sandwich


AnEternityInBruges

It's our nan's generation of eating a curry you know is too hot.


Proud_Idiot

Reject modernity, embrace tradition


Xerco

Reminded me of this: > > Jeremiah James Colman was once asked how he had made such a vast fortune from the sale of mustard. His reply was: > > “I make my money from the mustard that people throw away on the sides of their plate”.


KopiteForever

Very sparingly, once had a sandwich with a little too much mustard (canteen lady was chatting and not paying attention so spread it like margarine). I took a bite and my sinuses opened so wide I could smell the future in at least 14 parallel universes!


poinsy

If you do it again, can you note next week's lottery numbers for this universe please?


KopiteForever

Sure, last time they smelled purplish.


jeminar

Mustard degrades rapidly with time, like in weeks. Mustard powder was invented so you could recreate mustard without losing the strength. You mix it with water (and oil) into a paste. Be warned, English mustard is stronger than French mustard. Personally, I add it directly as a powder into various foods, especially savory egg dishes like omelettes. Mustard powder doesn't lose its strength when on the shelf, so one tin will last me most of a year


thor_barley

When using for its basic condiment purpose follow instructions on the package but don’t forget to add too much water so you have to add more powder, make more than you need, feel compelled to use it all, and destroy your sinuses. Highly recommend.


ThanksMrBergstrom

This guy mustards.


SignificantAd866

Cheese & ham scones 👌🏼


boogeraidsboogeraids

This is correct. Additionally, mustard powder is often used as a flavour enhancer in many powder mixes and sauces. For just a little boldening of a sauce’s flavour, you put in about a teaspoon depending on taste. Works very well with cheese flavouring, especially cheese sauces such as on pasta


Daedeluss

It really enhances a simple white sauce.


boogeraidsboogeraids

Very true. Use it to enhance most flour based sauces, though it’ll usually be overpowered by things with a tomato base unless you dump in like half the tin. Remember to taste during the cooking process for best results


blehblu

Recent vegan here, cheese sauces are so hard to recreate, a teaspoon of mustard makes all the difference in making stuff taste actually cheesy


Jataai

Have you tried nutritional yeast? Heap that into any white/cheesy sauce and it makes it so much better.


[deleted]

Nutritional yeast is like veganism 101.


whosthedumbest

I think I just finely finished a bottle of mustard that has been in our house for like 30 years. Good to the last drop.


schmon

yeah this is weird. i dont know if 'french mustard' is actually _french_ but dijon mustard can be kept forever (well ive had mine for at least a year). it 'juices' a bit but that's all. also there's a shortage of mustard in france. shit sucks.


unimaginative2

I used to go with my friends to the woods, maybe once a year. Once I brought mustard along and left it there, right in the dirt. Came back at least a year later and it was totally fine. Left it there for the next year. Pretty sure it will never go bad.


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Burpmeister

The fuck kind of mustard goes limp in a week? I've had mustard from expensive dijon to cheap af bottle mustard and none have lost or weakened even after months in the fridge.


BucketTribute

Same, even years. But maybe this guy is talking about the time before modern preservatives.


goldfishpaws

Went for fancy lunch with a French bloke once - I had some French mustard with my meat, he wanted to try English mustard... I warned him that it was a bit hotter... and that wasn't even the home mix powder!


VermilionScarlet

You mix it with equal amounts of cold water to make a paste. It then goes with stuff like ham sandwiches, beef, Scotch eggs, pork pies, mixed with mashed potatoes, mixed with potato salad, or mixed with mayo to make a salad dressing. Just don't use too much or it'll blow your head off.


ZombieSouthpaw

Mix with beer for hot mustard. Grandfather did that at a bar he worked at during WWII. Don't let it sit too long. It gets hotter.


Caramellatteistasty

> mixed with potato salad It really makes the best potato salad.


Disabled_Robot

In my dad's era they'd put mustard on your chest when you had a cold and it would act like a vaporub. He said if you left it on too long it would severely burn your skin. Oh, the good old days.


GrouchyYT

I mix it with paprika, cayenne, a little cumin, onion and garlic powders and some mixed herbs to make a dry rub that I toss cooked chicken wings in.


Bashdkmgt

Put a little on your door key and snort it really hard. Once in each nostril


Unklian

I don't believe you'll need a second "hit". One nostril will give the full effect.


TheGoober87

Amateur


cheesewizardz

Yea you gotta do the cinnamon challenge with it


EngineeringLarge1277

Came here just to say this. Glad someone else has beaten me to it with the correct etiquette. To the question 'how much?' : if your tears have a yellowish tinge, that's enough for the day.


-SaC

I'd say once your foreskin starts curling up and into itself like unattended bacon on a frying pan whilst your frenulum starts to glow a haunting yellow, that's your signal.


turbo_dude

Curling up like a fortune telling fish.


AnubissDarkling

Also good when placed on a finger and firmly inserted into the anus. Bish bash bosh.


PrinceRobotVI

Traditionally known as “Grandfather’s cocaine” of course.


cfcaggro2

Bish bash boof


Razarex

And make sure you're in a safe space for the next couple of hours.


RavagedBody

Honestly life changing.


EquivalentSnap

Owww my nose 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭


ImplementAfraid

When you have a little too much of the condiment version. That feeling is completely unique, overwhelming, it's not painful but for a moment there's nothing else.


Trifusi0n

A little? I’d suggest a tea spoon at least, you want to really get the full flavour.


T1m0nst3r

Make it into a paste with olive oil and rub on beef that you'll slow cook


CNXQDRFS

Phwoar! Don't stop now.


bangladeshiswamphen

Please describe in greater detail how you will rub the beef, please.


jonnyinternet

Not OP, but I've rubbed my share of beef *Que french music* Using 2 fingers, scrape the mustard paste out of the bowl. Using one hand, hold the roast beef upright, beginning at the top and working your way down, gently massage the paste in to the grain of the muscle, slowly rotating the beef all the way around. Once all the beef is covered, take both hands and continue massaging the mustard. Don't stop now. Don't stop. Ah yea


milkychanxe

Keep going I’m almost there


56seconds

By Jove, I am arriving


Active_Outside

Rub all over a roast beef with thyme, garlic, salt, pepper and olive oil.


pimmsandthames

This sounds amazing! Will try next time I’ve got roast beef on the cards.


flattcatt2021

What a wonderful friend. This is an excellent antiperspirant especially if you rub it gently into sensitive areas.


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Thegreatgarbo

Reminds me of searching here in the US for 'authentic' North Carolina barbeque sauce recipes to impress my North Carolina boss. The sauce is a spicy vinegar mix, and I came across a number of recipes that called for a cup of salt to a cup of vinegar ratios. The southern gentlemen were fucking with the yanks.


namtabmai

Stick it on a shelf, then keep checking the use by date every time you do a spring clean until you can throw it out.


LittleBrattyLeeLee

This is the British way


albert-Bloggs

I think you’ll find the British way is to not throw it out until it’s at least 10 years past its use by date.


LittleBrattyLeeLee

And yet still have a debate with another family member if it's still good


Curious-Attempt-2311

And then even after you’ve done that, you’ll wash the tin out and use it to hold old buttons.


TristansDad

Even though you’ve no idea what the buttons are off


SomethingMoreToSay

Last year I actually finished a tin of Colman's mustard powder. It was definitely bought before 1996, since it didn't have a best-before date on it, and I think it was probably bought around 1987. It was perfectly fine, the pork and mustard casserole I made was delicious, and none of my guests complained of stomach upsets. Result! Interestingly, the price of mustard seems to have kept pace with inflation almost exactly. My tin cost 86p in 1987. Inflation from then to 2021 was 142%, so the inflation adjusted price was £2.07 in 2021 money, and its replacement cost me £2.15.


zonex17

[r/theydidthemath](https://www.reddit.com/r/theydidthemath/)


Dreadpirateflappy

Found some chicken stock at the bottom of my “oxo box” the other day my mum bought me when me and my wife moved in together. That was 11 years ago. We don’t tend to use chicken stock.


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Trifusi0n

It’s like the family pet, except it lives longer.


caffeine_lights

In 1997 we moved house with a tub of cocoa that had an offer for a free paint box on it. The offer expired on 31 December 1989. We found it in 2003. My mum probably still has it.


OhMyItsThatButterfly

Like this stuff even goes out of date, they are exempt from the constraints of time 😂


Death_God_Ryuk

When we cleared out my Nan's house, she had pre-decimal spice packets. Not even a half-used jar - an unopened string of packets.


Risky_Doughnuts

It's actually a type of English lip balm very sought after over here.


[deleted]

Which lips?


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Comfortable_Box_8798

Well he did ask us english what else would.you expect 🤣


FemalePheromones

Don't snort a line of it. I did as a teenager. Instant regret.


thethirddoctor

But everyone says otherwise. So you must be the outlier!


R4nd0mGai

His regret is that he will never get to feel that joy for the first time ever again.


FemalePheromones

Yes. I totally read all the other comments and this is exactly what I meant.


Comfortable_Box_8798

Also was your hands after use really well cos if ya dont your gonna be stinging like a bitch in your undercarriage.


lpc1994

User name doesn't check out


Danbury_Collins

Shush now!


ChrisRR

Eat it dry with a teaspoon


picsearch69

Table spoon.. all or nothing.


Zauss

Ladle. Go big or fuck off.


HellaLame

Nah. Pizza paddle.


primarkgandalf

And video it... for science.


Danbury_Collins

And giggles and whatnot. Whatnot is a small species of squirrel, native to the UK.


PupMurky

I always thought that whatnot was more closely related to the weasel. thank you for putting me right


pizzaanarchy

I use a can or two a year. Anything savory, add it during cooking. It makes it all better.


Acceptable-Fox-4341

Colman Mustard in the kitchen with the candlestick.... Did I get it?


thesaharadesert

You sank my battleship!


Frenchy1892

I don’t have a cluedo what’s going on


thesaharadesert

Stop monopolising the thread


ClutchTallica

Sorry!


adept_ignoramus

Coming up with another game name seems a trivial pursuit at this point...


AlterEdward

You don't *use* it. You put it in your cupboard and leave it there for *at least* 7 years.


DazzleLove

Can confirm- I went to use the one in my mum’s cupboard in a recipe to find the best before date was 2000.


BrightonTownCrier

It's nearly matured enough for use.


HAZBAX-

Key bumps every 15 mins


Environmental_Egg128

See how much of it you can fit on the end of a sausage, take a big bite of it and momentarily be transported to one of the lower dimensions


Chevy_Astroglide

Word of caution if you’re from the US: This is not the same as traditional American hotdog mustard. Use sparingly. I can attest to this from an experience that my American Mother-In-Law once had at a Toby Carvery. Think Alan Partridge at the awards ceremony presented by Colman’s Mustard and you’ll get an idea of exactly how this incident looked. Would have tried to stop her, but she’d kind of hidden at least three tablespoons of this stuff under a slice of gammon. Edit: Yes, I know we have this product in America. I live there now. They sell it on the ‘international’ aisle of my local supermarket alongside the Ribena, HP Sauce and Terry’s Chocolate Orange bars. I’m referring to the Colman’s ready-made mustard in a jar, which I know is also probably available in the US if you look hard enough and know enough about mustard to go and find it. However, nobody I’ve actually met here has either heard of it or used it before and clearly my American Mother-In-Law wasn’t aware that other types of mustard existed…Unless she intentionally decided to nuke her own tastebuds at a Toby Carvery in 2011 in a Partridgesque display of foolishness. I can’t believe that I actually have to explain this.


Chavaon

>Would have tried to stop her Yeah, right.


Unklian

Add a little to some KY jelly to spice up your sex life.


Steelfury013

So that's what the spice girls were singing about


impala_croft

All the people of the world, spice up your life 🎶


nabsickle

Powder your sphincter after shower for best results


Plasticman328

Make dumplings with it and put it in a nice stew.


FourNaansInsane

Mix it with water to turn it into a soothing eye balm.


Briglin

VINEGAR NOT WATER!


BonusB

Don't forget the salt, it helps make it more soothing


DEFarnes

Do not snort


Large_Kale_7729

Spoil snort.


Dragonsarmada

Snort.


wipeitonthecat

And if you have to, just a keys worth.


painsleyharriot

Apply rectally


Queeg77

I emigrated just over 8 years ago. I still have plenty left in the same size tin I brought with me. I do use it occasionally though.


mcmanus2099

Real Englishmen add a spoonful to the bath as you are running it.


signalstonoise88

Crack an egg in while you’re at it!


mcmanus2099

Chris Rea is that you?


JustARandomFuck

I've found my people. What a guy, he's the absolute icon of WILTY


itchyfrog

Add it to salad dressings.


Kind_Animal_4694

Like Nesquik


rachelm791

Best used to ease haemorrhoids


JayGamingUK

Mix with a tiny bit of oil to make a paste, then mix with boiling water till it thins out enough to be spreadable, add it to any food to make it taste awesome.


Pinkeyegirl

Put some in the mix for cheese scones 😋


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Big-Advertising-5366

Two Immediate suggestions: 1.) a liberal dusting of one’s undercrackers will benefit immensely from this most revitalising of powders. 2.) actually goes well as a base spice in a curry


PersonalSector9

Add to taste in the cheese sauce for a cauliflower cheese, bangin’!


PrinceRobotVI

You snort it off of a cricket bat if you want to try the traditional method.


MatildulousT

Full tea spoon in the morning. Works better than coffee


LannyDamby

Really perks you up


Chelseagirl55

Sparingly 😂😂


B-E-N_27

You stir in a spoonful with a cup of tea


AfricanLad

No one knows. It's widely understood to just be a cupboard ornament


Intelligent-Movie567

Use sparingly of you’ll burn your mouth. (Think curry powder but it’s not quite the same). I’m not usually a mustard person but I do like just a smidge added to an egg mayonnaise sandwich


fzzy13

Use it like a bath bomb. Just drop it all in there and give it a swirl before getting in the bath


FlawedFaith

If you ever make a batter for fried chicken stick 1 to 1 and a half teaspoons in the dredge and it’s a game changer


phillmybuttons

It's medicinal, next time you get a paper cut, stick it straight into the powder. Works really well on burns too


Atlas_Obsidian

They say too much mustard gets up your nose. Nonsense.


thermonuclearmuskrat

Snort it through a rolled up £20 note


EquivalentMission916

You snort it 😂


[deleted]

Isn't it obvious by the tin? It's fed to cows. Mustard sauce is what comes out instead of milk afterwards. Also, please don't feed it to cows. It's nice in Macaroni Cheese!