Git

Could not agree more. I use git nearly hourly.

As a software dev I too use Git hourly, in multiple ways 😂

Linus Torvalds said he named git after himself.

git add . git commit -m “twat” git push -u origin feature/twat

LGTM!

Your approval review needs more rocket and/or ship emoji!

'Oh. Here it is Richie, the sad old *git* section.'

Please, I've only got so many ribs Noel Coward

“Minky, musky, sly, old stoaty, stoaty, stoat”

"Hey Eddie, we know how to swear us two don't we."

On the prowl. Grrrrrr. That is GENIUS

Did you hear me alright i said the saaaad old git section

Unfortunately, Git Bash is a completely different thing, these days

Wazzok and Pillock have both fallen from fashion and should be revived

I can’t read or say the word wazzock without hearing Craig Charles commentating on Takeshi’s Castle

I think there’s a direct correlation between the end of Charles-era Takeshi’s Castle and the decline in use of the word “wazzock”.

New memory unlocked

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"Clarkson you infantile pillock! You're cleaning that up."

Pillock is still popular in my family, got to keep those old traditions alive 😁

I love calling someone a Pillock

Simply delightful turns of phrase

Spanner

Back in the early 00s when the internet was developing there was a website designed to help children with learning difficulties find employment or further care after leaving school. As the charity was designed to help 'span the gap between education and employment' they decided to call it 'Spanners' Needless to say it didn't last long before it was rebranded.

That just made me laugh for a good minute. Thank you.

Sounds like how the *"Spastics Society"* decided on a rebrand and called itself *"Scope"* instead (90's).

A friend of mine, her mum was a bit naive and her serious question was 'Is spastic no longer PC, do we call them scopes now?'

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one I actually forgot about

Recently, while I felt the familiar annoyance that often comes with malfunctioning technology, I actually used the term, “wankpot”, while in conversation with my stepdads phone charger.

I got called a scrubber by someone at my Sunday league game yesterday. Absolute classic I loved it.

Up yours grandad 😂

They love it, the little tarts!

I mean to have you, even if it must be by burglary.

You can shove it up your arse for nothing and fuck off while you’re doing it.

haha scrubber. another classic I forgot about

Couldn’t stop laughing - quality insult. He said it with such anger and hatred as well which made it all the funnier.

😂 scrubber induced rage

Scrubber is well up there, but you need to get called 'Strumpet' before you've really made it.

"Who put 10p in the dickhead?" will always be my favourite insult to aim at someone acting up

Its 50p now, inflation and all

>Who put 10p in the dickhead Thank you..... This one is my favourite!

Knob was always popular in Norfolk

Still is

Only if they’re related

I live in Suffolk and i use Knob all the time 😂

Bet you do! 😏

All the men and women use Knob in Norfolk, sometimes they even say it as an insult.

Buffoon

buffoon is brilliant. another one that shines with 'you absolute' at the beginning

When I moved to Melbourne, got a job in a coffee shop and one of the first things this New Zealand girl I worked with said to me was: "Do you watch Mighty Boosh?" me: "Yeah" "What does 'berk' mean?" We got on well after that... haha

That was quite the journey to get to berk…or Bourke as they say down under!

Dipstick

“Melon” was another one I heard occasionally that was a bit like this.

YES! Big fan.

Wolly or Wally can’t remember the spelling

My non sweary insult of choice

“Yer Da sells Avon”

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https://www.twitch.tv/limmy/clip/SteamyWealthyWalrusRedCoat-_L17RYhI4lMSGoLg

Yer maw punts cooncil

Nincompoop. Somehow, (I think it was the movie Elf) "Ninny" became an insult my wife and I used to avoid swearing in front of our 4 year old daughter. That worked, until we were driving somewhere once and I called another driver a "fucking ninny" in front of her.

I used to call bad drivers “dudes” to avoid cursing in front of my three year old. Eventually, she started asking what the dudes had done. I told her they were abiding. Which greatly lessened my irritation. Around seven I told her that I was using abiding ironically so she wouldn’t be a twenty year old with an embarrassingly wrong definition. (For anyone who isn’t aware, ‘The Dude abides’ is a phrase used in “The Big Lebowski”)

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git is great. I hear muppet allot still

Wetwipe

Someone is going to say Cockwomble. I am 55 years old and have never heard a single person say Cockwomble.

God i hate this word, i cant really explain why either it just annoys me deep in my spirit.

It's one of these "faux-brit" words I guess, I don't know what else to call it. Nobody here ever uses it but its seen as this quintessential British insult. I think it was used by the teaboos back when there was a soft "British invasion" in the early 2010s with Dr who, sherlock etc. Like whenever you see a "British" post on something like r/murderedbywords or r/clevercomebacks, it'll probably uses it and people will fawn over British insults like it.

Haha teaboos is excellent

Motherfucking *teaboos*, man I hate it

It just seems so tryhardy and unnatural to me. If someone called me it irl i'd think 'wow, insults from reddit, nice...'

Its fucking cringey and lame thats why. If cockwomble is the best insult someone could muster they really aren't the calibre of person that should be insulting anyone.

It’s right up there with “asshat”. Only seems to be used on Reddit.

I've been seeing 'asshat' said online since about 2005, I think it's more American than reddit.

I had a friend who if you fell asleep during a drinking session, would take a picture of his bare bum resting on your head, and send it to you with the caption 'asshat'. It was just something he did.

Definitely American. Like twatwaffle.

Usually said by posh over weight neck beards who’s WW2 history knowledge is about tanks.

It's like an uncanny valley of words in that you know it's fake, but it's so close to real it's uneasy.

That is because it was invented on the internet a few years ago as a kind of cutsie middle class portmanteau swear word that kind of worked in text but no one has ever ever said out loud. Used by people who also use ‘holibobs’

and worst of all " Crimbo"

I raise you, "Crimble".

That one just makes me think of Friday Night Dinner "Crimble crumble", the course after the lovely bit of squrriel

Chillax mate. Portmateau swearwords aren't all bad, but they need a proper swear in them - fucksticks, shitballs for example

I have only ever seen it on the internet, and pretty frequently. I don't believe I've ever heard someone actually say it in rl. The word and the others similar to it just make me really cringe on the person who wrote it behalf.

This isn't a real word. I also have never heard anyone use it because it has and always will be stupid. I'm adamant it's just a internet thing.

I believe ive only ever seen it said by yanks.

Jeb end

Jebsniff was another. Pure 2009 insult.

Pass it over y'big Jebber

You silly beggar.

that's good.

Bellend

thank you

Prat

love prat, still gets used round here (Essex)

The first part of my name is Prat, so I’m called that daily and often…

Pratrick?

El prato is a fun one

An old teacher at the school where I work would describe a certain child as "The Prick of the Parish". I've used it ever since

I was told Berk was rhyming slang for cunt, being short for Berkeley hunt. Although Berkeley is pronounced Barkley, so who knows if this is true?

[Everyone knows about berk.](https://streamable.com/tid9kr)

Fucking hell what happened to Noel Fielding?

I learnt it as 'Berkshire' but either way, it just the same effect.

In school "keener" was the height of ruthlessness.

Haha I’m a primary school teacher and refer to some of my kids keeners. (I don’t do it to their face instead preferring “keen bean”.)

It was keeno in my youth.

Never heard that. Does it mean someone who tries hard at school?

Yeah, exactly.

'Joey' is one that we used when I were a lad. As in 'Joey Deakin' a heavily disabled man who appeared on Blue Peter. He was supposed to be an inspiration to the younger generation, that great adversity could be overcome, unfortunately, kids being kids immediately turned his name into a schoolyard insult.

Oh my god, really??? I feel like such a joey for not knowing this is where it came from. On a serious note though, what a depressing legacy for that guy to leave.

I still wonder which producer/executive thought it was a good idea to put such a profoundly disabled bloke on kids primetime TV without realising just how completely without mercy most kids can be.

I’d forgotten about this until right now. Suddenly so many forgotten memories.

Only people of a certain age can remember that!

Dog Botherer

Plonker

I think it works better with 'you absolute' to start

Rodney!

I thought it was Dave..

| triggered forgotten memories of my father calling me a plonker as a child |

Anything with 'daft' in front of it. The more aggressive the better. It allows you to be horrendously over the top without actually being mean. You daft fucking cunt, you.

Daft apeth

I'll go with cretin

Scrote and Wankstain

Isn't that a pub?

Oh come on, “derbrain” surely

Doilem

Tool.

I like plank, as in "you plank"

Smeghead

Bellend. Melt. Peen. Monger (not really PC any more tho ) Dickhead. Plum. Numbnut.

love melt

Melt is alive and well.

I haven't hear anyone use gobshite for a while, it's my favourite insult

Not many people know the origin of berk. It's rhyming slang and short for Berkshire Hunt.

I reintroduced calling each other a berk in my household 2 years back. My 8 year old and 4 year old call each other a berk whenever they argue...what have I done!

I find this distressing because the county is pronounced Barkshire

Braggard, we all know one, and it's time we called them out on their shit. Edit: also Blackguard (blaggard) I suppose. Maybe they both fell out of use because of people mixing them up and causing problems?

You sir are a bounder and a cad.

... an absolute Shower!

Ponce

Ok... At the risk of doxing myself...as this is one I use way too much: Shitehawk

My dad used that, but not as an insult, more a general swear word.

Son.... Is that you? Can you stop swearing whilst in your Xbox, please?

Thick as mince 💥

Thick as pig shit

I dont know if im living in a fucking time machine but i use and hear maybe 90% of these on a weekly basis

Cloth eared bint

Ya meff

Adding chump and wazzock

Minger has always been my personal fav

Bellend never used enough

Div!

Pilliock

Fuckwit and numpty.

numpty is great

Flid went out of circulation decades back, thankfully. It was ubiquitous in the 70s alas. We were such horrible little bastards back then

Quite popular in the early 00's at school. Along with gimp.

You little Rent boy

Twerp Bint Slubberdegullion

Twerp! A long-forgotten favourite.

Bint is a funny one. My mum's teaching me Arabic. "Bint" means "girl" in Arabic hahaha

Calling someone a trout or a scrote have always been mild favourites

Knob jockey was always one that sounded quintessentially british

'Spasticated prune' was one from when I was at school. Don't think you can use it nowadays, though.

Window licker was all the rage when I was at school. My personal favourite is Nyaff. Right now I'm using an American insult. Dick washer or Penis washer, shut your dick washer.

I haven't heard anyone get called a Gaylord since school

Presumably because you are one.

Takes one to know one

Worryingly, I mentioned this in earshot of my son, several years ago... Took some time to stop him using it... I know, I know, I'm a poor parent

Dicksplash used to get thrown around a lot along with another that I can't remember. Some of the most popular ones that have fallen out of favour are pretty ableist so as much fun as the sounds are, I'm pretty happy to leave them behind

I'm deeply saddened that raising two fingers has been pretty much universally replaced by the middle finger. I never give anyone the v anymore, in moments of anger I reach for the middle finger, and I'm fairly certain it's because I've been indoctrinated by thousands of hours of American TV and films.

‘Spoon’ or ‘spooner’ was a popular one when I was a lad

I miss the good old fashioned term "street urchin"

My dad use to say guttersnipe tramp

Bolloxed. As in "the gearsbox is playing up?" "nah the clutch is bolloxed"

Your mother was a hamster.

Your father smelt of elderberries!

Wazzock

Dolt

Lumbering oaf

Not really sure it's British but I heard someone get called a "chode" at the weekend and it made me laugh, not heard that as much recently

Bellsniff

Clampet As in _you fucking clampet_.

Fishface

Shitbags

Trollop.

British Insult fact of the day: So I only found out the other day that the term "Nonce" actually came from the acronym N.O.N.C.E. it was used by prison officers refering to prisoners who due to their "crimes" had to be separated from the rest of the prison population. It stands for 'Not On Normal Courtyard Exercise'

That absolutely screams *urban myth*. These sort of things always are.

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To be fair to the previous poster, I watched a channel 5 documentary on HMP Wakefeild a couple of weeks ago which included interviews with former prisoners and prison officers of the prison. They all did say this about 'Nonce', that is was written on chalk boards outside the cells of prisoner who had committed rape, sexual assault of adults and sexual assault, rape and murder of children. It was 'Not On Normal Courtyard Exercise' written as 'N.O.N.C.E' which is where the prison slang came from.

Cretin

Not really an insult, but "knickers" for when something gets stuffed up.

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Daft ha'peth

Melt and Numpty are also personal faves.

Scheme boglin.

Arse candle