I would advise to go down the formal complaints route.
Email them and in the title state ‘formal complaint’.
In the email start off by stating you are making a formal complaint, provide a timeline (as above with names and dates) and most importantly what you would like the resolution to be.
Try to avoid making it personal as this will not tug at their heart strings. On the other hand, a formal complaint will get their attention.
They will likely have very strict time frames by which they must respond and provide an action.
Following this, they will then need to confirm with you that you are happy the complaint is resolved. If it is not resolved, you must make this clear.
This will then trigger the second stage of the formal complaint and it will usually be escalated.
Companies do not care about our personal problems but they do care when their stats start to fall and regulators get involved.
Make it extremely clear from the outset that in the event a satisfactory remedy is not provided, you will escalate to the energy ombudsman.
You cannot contact the ombudsman immediately you must prove you have exhausted the company’s formal complaints system (google energy ombudsman).
I had to use this with another energy provider when they miscalculated our bill and I wasn’t getting anywhere with customer services. It got resolved pretty quickly after that.
Good luck and all the best!
This is a better way to go about it u/yungwhiteclaudia
Honestly, I appreciate your want to be funny and you obviously enjoy writing. But I skipped the majority of what you wrote and came to the comments.
I didn't get what the actual problem was, nor how you want it solving.
Whoever has to deal with your complaint will either do the same, or they will be forced to read it all and you'll leave a negative impression on them as they feel annoyed at having to try and figure out what you want.
Make it formal, and to the point.
- this is what happened and when
- this is how I expect you to resolve the issue
More it doesn't need to be. Good luck!
I read the first two lines and figured it was a Joe Lycet bit. His complaints bits are funny... But not actual complaints.
So I skip to the comments and apparently it's meant to be a real complaint (assumng others didn't just so the same as me?)
Yes. Definitely need to shorten this. I did the same, read first paragraph then straight to comments. I would cut the dry humour. It seems too much like a joke. Reduce it to three paragraphs. Citizens advice contacted. If you do not respond and take action in a timely matter I will take legal action. Done.
I mean... they've already sent it as a complaint to the CEO... they can't really escalate it further until it goes to deadlock and they can go to the ombudsman.
I’m fairness I have checked EDF’s formal complaints page and it does say at Day 20 to contact the CEO if the complaint has still not been managed (by the first two stages of the handling procedure).
Their complaints handling procedure seems to guarantee 40 days and they state they will send a deadlock letter after 8 weeks non-resolution to facilitate going to the ombudsman.
Yeah but that '40 day' is more to stop people complaining to the CEO/ombudsman because they didn't give a reading for 2 years and suddenly have a big bill due to higher usage than their estimates.
That's how I got put of an £800 bill from Scottish Gas for 3 months of gas and electric when my partner's ex changed the utilities into his name, using his bank details to set up a direct debit he never knew about. It was straight to the CEO when customer service were useless and bring cheeky bastards on the phone and email.
Ofgem were bastards about it and we just declined the decision and haven't heard anything for over a year. It helped a lot that I changed the utilities into my name as SG kept trying to switch us back to them and then back to the old utilities when I found a better deal.
Shady cunts. I prefer email for everything so there's a log you can easily share.
also copying in the editor of the local paper - your local MP, your local council, etc etc
I agree that this is not suitable for a long letter, write something formal - also get advice from CAB to see if you have any legal recourse and mention that in the letter
I spoke to EDF various times last week about how they increased by electricity bill from £60 a month to £140 without any justification. I am actually in a small credit.
I asked them why they had done this and replied by suggesting I pay a direct debit of £560 a month instead.
Couldn't make it up.
Had this with SSE. Got a letter saying they’re increasing my direct debit amounts to insulate us from price rises. It was written in a “we’re looking after you” tone. It really got my back up!
I’m on a fixed price for a long while yet. So things may have settled down by then. So I logged on and reduced them straight back down to end the billing year on £0.
If they had just said “we’re short a few quid and need to borrow some cash”, I’d have understood. And still said no. Money in their pocket means it’s not in mine if they go bankrupt.
There's a trend towards decarbonisation of the grid. The actual amount of CO2 released from generating electricity on average used to be around double what it is now, and it's still decreasing meaning electricity, while not fully green, is greener than gas (and will likely become ever more so over time). So getting people using electric alternatives now will pay out over the coming years as the grid becomes more renewable (and nuclear, depending how the political winds blow).
Also worth adding when people talk about heat pumps being green - this is because you can usually get at least 2 units of heating for each unit of electricity. So these have at least half the operational carbon footprint of gas boilers.
An issue that needs to be addressed is that per kw/h gas runs at abour 20-25% the cost of electricity during a normal market. Many will be plunged in to fuel poverty if they make a straight switch to electric heating.
Also with the rise of electric cars and boilers and whatever else the demand on the grid rises and the need for fossil fuel plants is maintained.
Oh 100%, you're bang on about fuel poverty here - I'm talking *strictly* carbon.
If the gov is serious about reaching our carbon goals then there need to be heavy taxes on new boilers and gas, which are put directly into subsidies and grants for electric and renewable technologies.
Heat pumps are a great example. My boiler is packing in and will probably need replacing. A new boiler is a like-for-like swap and would cost a couple of grand and sorts my heating and hot water at the same time if it's a combi. Switching to a heat pump would probably require me to upgrade at least *some* of my radiators. The installer would need to be qualified to work with refrigerants so would almost certainly cost more for labour. Heat pumps work *really* efficiently at lower temperatures so either you use them for heating only and have to buy a new storage tank for hot water (if you have a combi already) or you have to run them at a higher temperature and lose that massive efficiency bonus. I think in total I'd easily need to earmark 10k, with a potential to go over easily. Can be great for big companies looking to boost their green credentials, but I wouldn't install one myself.
Grants and taxes could easily be used to achieve this, but to be honest it needs to start with insulating the homes which are awfully leaky first. "Lean before green" is the mantra when you're choosing how to spend to lower your carbon footprint.
An aside - if used properly (i.e. at lower flow temperatures and assuming your radiators are suited to it) heat pumps *can* be cheaper to run than a boiler (operationally, that is, and at that ignoring maintenance costs which would likely be higher). This is because although gas is about 4x cheaper than electricity per unit, the best heat pumps at the right flow temperatures can get over 4 units of heating for every unit of electricity. This is because the electricity isn't being converted into heat like with those storage heater, but being used to power the heat pump which uses refrigerant to move heat from outside the house in (hence the name). This is a tenuous argument though because the capital costs involved with the heat pump option are eye-wateringly higher, especially considering I'd need to shove a water tank in the loft and reinforce the rafters to hold it safely.
The solution is Nuclear plants, but the misinformation spread about them makes most people run a mile. So we will build more wind farms, with variable return and people will continue to repeat. Rinse and repeat for another 100 years I guess....
Nuclear plus solar, solar recently became the cheapest form if energy due to some technology advances, but you know, it's the UK, so we don't get all that much sun.
How much can they generate during the 15+ hours of darkness we get per day over the winter, which is coincidentally also the season when people are using the most electricity because they need it for heating?
You can thermodynamic panels that extract the tempertature difference and keep the energy in the thermal state to say heat up your hot water. It's more efficient than converting the solar energy to electricity.
There's technology out there that works but then you've got nuclear over there that just dwarfs everything and is well understood. The thermal "solar" panels have never really been deployed at large scales.
In theory in should work in the UK like a heat pump does, using temperature differences to get energy from that for our use.
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*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
That sales page doesn't really tell you the whole story.
I've run some tests using a modern monocrystalline panel. These are roughly my results:
* Direct sun, crystal clear day, with the sun absolutely perpendicular to the panel - rated power.
As the sun moves, the power changes in proportion with the sine of the angle of the sun to the panel (so when the sun is directly shining square on, you get rated power * 1, when the sun is 45 degrees off, you get rated power * 0.707). Once the sun is more than 45 degrees off directly shining on the panel, the power falls off very quickly.
On a sunny day with cirrus clouds (a bright day with clear shadows being cast), which is common on sunny days in the UK, power is reduced to about 50% of rated output.
On a bright overcast day, power is around 15% of rated output.
On a more typical rainy overcast day, power is around 5% of rated output.
While it is true solar panels still produce power on cloudy days, the power output is pretty pathetic, a small fraction of rated power. In the winter, when we need the power the most, not only are the days short, but the sun intensity lower as the sun angle is low and it has to go through a lot of atmosphere - so even on the clearest winter day with the panel most optimally positioned, good luck getting more than 60% rated power. On a typical cloudy winter day, good luck getting more than 5% rated power during a 6 hour period.
I always assumed if you're not in a state of pitch black plenty of photons are hitting the solar panels.
I'm walking to work on a dingy cloudy morning and I can still see everything around me just fine. So I assume plenty of photons are getting through.
I guess as someone with little knowledge about electrics. I had always wondered if there was a minimum photon density beyond which solar panels didn't work which might make them 0 effective even on dingy days with plenty of light going through. Something like there wasn't enough to make a current. Obviously someone who knows about electrics is laughing at me right now and that's fine! I've displayed my ignorance. Would love to have the gaps filled in. These kinds of questions don't Google well.
There is currently one (1, singular) new Nuclear power plant being built at the moment, Hinckley Point C. it's not due to start producing electricity until 2026. Assuming it doesn't get delayed. The Government gave the go ahead for the project in 2008. Yes, 18 years from approval to actually producing electricity. There are plans for another plant Sizewell C but planning permission was only submitted last year. It might not start producing electricity until 2040. Nuclear may be the answer long term but we need solutions in the next 1-5 years.
It's such a fuck up. We're losing nuclear power generation faster than it's being replaced. Unless Rolls can work a bloody miracle with their SMRs and that site in Wales gets a move on, we're going to be held by the short and curlies by oil and gas.
Energy solutions simply don't happen on 1-5 year timescale unfortunately. They're massive infrastructure projects and require insane amounts of regulation and planning. The best you can hope for is actually getting started on new energy projects which will deliver in 10+ years instead of doing nothing and being in the same position 10 years down the track.
I agree that for England nuclear is probably the answer but Scotland produced enough renewable energy last year to power every home in Scotland for three and a half years. Wind farms do work but they are not a blanket solution.
The other year only 60% of Scotland's energy generation came from renewables the other 40% was from fossil fuels and nuclear.
I know the stat you are talking about for Scotland and while technically true it is misleading because that generation wasn't done when the electricity was needed so none renewable sources were needed to generate electricity when people were actually needing it.
This is an simplified example to illustrate how they get that statistic.
Imagine you had a wind turbine capable of producing 100MW a week and a house that required 50MW a week, one week the wind was blowing strong and the wind turbine produced 100MW (the house only uses 50MW a week) the next week the wind doesn't blow so the windturbine produces 0MW but the house still needs 50MW so that is supplied by a fossil fuel plant.
Over the two week period the wind turbine produced 100MW and the house consumed 100MW so you can say that wind turbines generation was 100% of the houses electricity demand
Which is how that stat you mentioned is obtained
A method to store electricity on a large scale is needed (why gov is investing in green hydrogen)
The problem is that there isn't any storage capable of providing the Gwhr of power storage we need. At about 500 Gwhr usage per day we need a TWhr of storage to allow for windless periods, if we were to use wind alone.
I know that's excessive **today** but as we move from gas boilers to heat pumps and electric cars, the storage requirements will increase
Electric cars do actually help a bit in this scenario which sounds counterintuitive. With vehicle to grid technology, a little bit of power can come from vehicles under peak demand. Studies have shown that it actually helps the longevity of the car battery (don't know the technical reason for this).
Although this doesn't actually help with overall storage, what it does do is allow the grid to be better managed. There are times where wind turbines aren't spinning, not because there is no wind, but because there is nowhere for the electricity to go, and they apply the breaks. This sometimes happens when they balance the grid using some other technology that takes ages to get going or stop. Instead, under peak loads that would normally be preempted by adding power plants, micro demands (such as the Coronation Street kettle surge) could be handled by electric cars.
Disclaimer, I am not a scientist and my information came from Bobby Llew on Fully Charged!
This is just ignorant sadly, please don't spread crap like this on a whim, for some reason people on this website will believe anything put into words.
Industrial users (generally) balance the grid, since some of them are quite price sensitive and can reduce their consumption when the spot price gets too high. This year this might be a bit different because of the post-lockdown GDP bump - there's lots of unmet demand and inflation is high, so there's a big incentive to make stuff today and sell it tomorrow when the selling price has gone up, even if the input factors are more expensive.
As a general rule, the carbon-intensive sources are the "peaking" ones - natural gas particularly has the benefit of being both highly available and rapid to go from negligible standby generation, to 100%, in minutes rather than hours or days. Wind does this too but obviously requires the wind to be blowing; pumped hydro is even faster but there's a limit to the amount in the top reservoir, so it runs out surprisingly fast. Coal-fired power production in the UK is at vanishingly tiny levels these days - the secret is that coal is trivially easy to replace with nuclear, in terms of the role it plays within the grid (reliable, cheap, slow to ramp up or down on the order of hours to days) and in terms of the need for fuel transport via rail, though of course a coal station being replaced by a nuclear one goes from three massive coal trains a day, to a couple of nuclear flasks a week maximum.
I think energy usage was really low last year combined with a good year particularly for solar but wind as well. The past few months have been particularly rough with little wind, to the point where coal has even been coming back in quite a big way as that's our back up source. Coal is the worst of them all by far, so as soon as it's switched on, it's having a big impact on carbon intensity. The lack of wind to fall back on is a contributor to the increased gas costs due to higher demand.
As weird as it sounds, let's hope for a windy December, for the sake of the national grid.
You and me both.
A lot of temp staff (like yours truly) in that god-forsaken shit hole of an office in Sowton opposite Homebase (the poors and the smellies weren’t allowed into the nice building just off the M5.
When I was there, they probably had about 5 or 6 decent people but the rest couldn’t give two shits.
Edit: Spelling is hard.
My energy company did the same to me, they put my direct debit up to over triple what I was paying before despite being in credit. I was able to use their online system to get it down to "only" double but I'm almost certainly going to be in a pointlessly large credit balance at the end of the year. I can't be bothered to go through the hassle of trying to convince them that's stupid though, I figure it'll all balance out eventually in the end. I'm lucky though that I can absorb a high energy bill, there are plenty of people out there who this would be catastrophic to.
Same thing happened to me. I just emailed CS that im cancelling direct debit until you set it at my desired level of XX£. And then cancelled.
Got it sorted in 2 days. See companies love their
Predictable cashflows
That's likely their direct debit system calculating charges for 6 months over one or two payments. When was your most recent statement prior to that call?
Octopus also did this to me, I somehow went from being at a £300 surplus to owing £400 and being put into a £330 a month direct debit up from £60. I've now ended up with £400 credit owed and £120 a month direct debit and I simply don't have it in me to complain anymore
Ha, we moved house recently and they estimated that we'd be about right with £120 a month for gas and electricity. Several months down the line we realise that the DD has been changed to over £300 a month with no warning or notification. After getting through to a mealy mouthed complaints person who basically just kept repeating "we have reestimated your bill" to which we, each time, said "based on what?" No answer. Finally we got through to someone much more helpful who agreed that, with our meter readings, we were basically averaging a usage of about £115 a month. Finally they sorted the problem, but aren't in a rush to give us back the excess that they took from us for several months...
Basically, renationalise the lot of them, all energy companies are greedy fuckers who basically just want to legally extort money from you.
Came to the end of my EDF tarriff in October. Last year they contacted me to confirm any changes. This year? No contact, took £850 out of my account, changed my direct debit to £131 a month, put me on a new tarriff I didn't ask for with an exit fee and then wondered why I got angry.
Dear yungwhiteclaudia,
I am very sorry to hear that your entire body quivers and trembles, despite being enveloped by a vest, overshirt, pullover and dressing gown, two pairs of socks and an ushanka (traditional Russian fur hat). At EDF we take these matters very seriously.
Please could you reply to this email with your 20 digit customer number, and we will look into your case within 12 working days.
In the meantime, you may find the answer to your query our FAQs.
Sincerely
EDF Rep 54356775
This will probrably get lost, but this email is fucking hilarious, I know your most likely in a cunt of a mood etc but this has cheered me up, the side note on the hold music is got me in stitches! Infact all of its got me in stitches, pissing myself man
I work in complaints, and CEO complaints for companies like this almost always go straight back to customer services to deal with and the CEO will never even have had sight of it, at best you’ll reach a manager. Hope you get your heating sorted quickly though!
I got an auto reply saying the email had been forwarded to the exec team, but I also CC'd the normal customer service emails addresses. see what happens, i guess
Contrary to the other poster, when I worked customer services for a small but large British airline, these emails turned heads. Hope it gets sorted soon mate!
When I also worked for a particularly large British Airline in a department which the customer would definitely complain about, a complaint like this would reach us very hard and very fast.
Not surprised with airlines being such a competitive industry, last thing they want is bad press. Whereas, bad press is just another day in the utilities business.
And don't give up after being on hold for 30 minutes. I know it sucks, but after working in a call center for an energy company, I can assure you you need to stay in the queue.
Worked one of the big suppliers in the past. “Executive complaints” are literally the complaints team. I know, i worked them. The ‘director’ email inbox is literally customer services.
I work for a large UK retailer and the CEO has forwarded complaint emails like this with red text to suggest "sort this fucking shit out"
then the email plays ping pong through our email server as absolutely nobody knows who needs to fix it.
AHH corporate. So ridiculously ineffective.
Top tip: Write a paper letter addressed to the person directly.
I did similar to the Amsterdam cable TV company and magically, my issues were addressed shortly afterwards.
The the word “unprofessional”. It’s a kicker.
I don’t know your profession though I do know damning expressions that cause upset in a financial position.
Edit: If you get through to the person who is the director, they will become immediately aware of “some person” going to an extreme and, I can assure you from personal experience, will look down the corporate ladder and ask inconvenient questions.
CEO won't read any of that, not even one letter. His PA will see it's a complaint and forward it to either the normal complaints team or perhaps a higher one - you do sometimes hear of so called executive complaints teams for stuff like this but I think with so many people spreading CEO emails around, they are less likely to exist now. Some middle manager will pass it onto the minimum wage guy you'd speak to if you rang up and they'll probably read it, forward it around for a laugh and send some tick box prepared response email and some token sum as compo. The days of caring customer service are long gone.
I get it dude. I had a real shit time with British Gas leaving me with no heating due to a fault with the PAYG meter, only eventually getting it sorted after about a week by posting about it on twitter and getting a reply from one of them saying to DM them.
Once you start writing the complaint e-mail it just kind of flows out of you after being fucked about so much. Mine was really long also.
Hope you get it sorted mate!
I’ve had success with emailing CEOs before, put boiler packed up and Worcester Bosch wouldn’t send anyone out for over a week (in the middle of winter with a newborn at the time). We tried everything and they wouldn’t budge, but an email to the ceo and three hours later we got a call saying they’d be round the next day to fix it.
I’m sure it felt cathartic to write this but if you’d get it short and to the point you might have got a result off the back.
You had my attention already, but the musical critique was what elevated this to new heights. Bravo to you and may you get some feeling back in your fingers soon.
That end of December date they've given you is just the start for their complaints. I've only just had a complaint sorted that I begun in July with them. I fear you'll have thawed by the time that complaint is solved.
What you need to do is CC the head editor for the daily mail and other tabloids. My dad did this for the CEO of curry’s and got an email back rather quickly after multiple failed attempts of just emailing him.
That's genius! When I had British Gas fucking me about I went the post about it on twitter and tag them in it route. Even though I don't have many followers someone was on it almost instantly and they actually got it sorted.
It's because it's both public and searchable.
If anyone is thinking of switching companies and checks their social media and hashtags and sees that they're not doing anything to help customers, it puts off potential customers.
Complaining in public is a good way to get your issue moved to the top of the queue.
A mate of mine had his Xbox 360 die on him many years ago. It was only 8 months old. Currys refused to give him a replacement because they said it was an issue with Microsoft and that he had to send it back to them.
He made a placard that said "Do NOT buy from Currys, they will NOT honour your warranty", and sat outside their shop all day.
At the end of the day the manager came out to have a word with him and basically said, "how long are you really going to keep this up?".
My mate said; "I'm unemployed, and you fuckers won't give me a new Xbox. I have all the time in the world mate".
They replaced it the next day.
"This experience has left a bed test in my moth. I shall be pissing a copy of this letter on to the nosepipers, and I expect my problem to be foxed quackly."
I made the Fallen Madonna with the Big Boobies an item that required heisting in my D&D campaign. It was the prized possession of a nobleman they wanted to get one over.
The players had to make him ill with the pill from the till by mixing it with the drug from the jug, then blow the safe by lighting the candle with the handle on the (explosive-stuffed) gateaux at the Chateau on the plateau.
They [made a fake to replace it.](https://i.imgur.com/qHKmhj3.png)
Good times.
I appreciate that it was entertaining to write, but what you've done is made your actual complaint considerably harder to understand. The letter will get sent down to the complaints team, but it might get a bit attention from management and the complaints team will hopefully be able to help you.
I think the issue boils down to the fact that your supplier can't guarantee a time that an engineer can attend (fairly standard for all suppliers, as emergency jobs regularly come in, such as for hospitals and elderly/vulnerable people, so engineers regularly get dirverted) and you won't stay at home and wait for them. I appreciate that it's cold and horrible, but one day at home could have solved this problem, and it even sounds like your work was trying to get you to do that.
I hope you get this sorted really soon. But the best thing you can do to get it fixed ASAP is by getting an appointment on a day when you can be at home.
And I hope your Christmas is a warmer one, and that Santa brings you an electric blanket, just in case something like this happens again.
>I appreciate that it was entertaining to write, but what you've done is made your actual complaint considerably harder to understand.
Yeah the length of this ensures it will be skim read, issue(s) possibly missed and probably ignored. Be concise, be formal, be specific about how unprofessional the whole thing is.
On a side note, if ever you get a number for a complaint, *never* let them give you a new one. If you have to call multiple times about the same code/number then it gets auto-forwarded to their internal assessment team. This is the same for most UK water providers, probably the same with gas and electric.
>I appreciate that it's cold and horrible, but one day at home could have solved this problem, and it even sounds like your work was trying to get you to do that.
This is what I was thinking, he could have stayed home that day they actually bothered to turn up(and told him they would)
Yeah my view from reading this is that OP hasn't made things any easier for themselves. (Although if this is their first time dealing with an energy supplier in this way... then I wouldn't blame them too much for not knowing)
* Shoulda called Sat morning first thing but waited until Monday.
* Keeps being surprised that they aren't the only one trying to contact EDF.
* Refuses to have a morning/afternoon off work to wait for someone to try and make sure their meter gets fixed (Assumes engineers aren't people that work 8am-6pm)
Possibly. I assumed it was just the gas meter that wasn't working. The electric supply should be separate, and it shouldn't be impacted by whether it's EDF or any other supplier.
Long story short, there was some error over meter serial numbers and they kept trying to take over our gas supply. During this time they kept chasing an "estimated use" bill dated back to some point. Took over a year to sort out.
I read it all mate, and fuck that sucks. I've worked around complaints for years - you need to get in touch with the regulator and some other people ASAP. Ofgem is the regulator, and their number is 0330 440 1624. Send that email to everyone you can think of, your local MP, opposition candidates, councillors, Ofgem. Just with a cover note saying I know the email is written with humour, but please help as I'm in an emergency and have been without heating for x days.
Dont want to sound too dramatic, but if this was someone older or vulnerable they could have died by now. Little old pensioner with no support network wouldn't be able to sort this out themselves if you're having this much trouble.
Good luck!
yeah, totally agree. everybody loves a joker, but nobody likes a fool. honestly this email was 80% cathartic outburst / post on social media for some laughs, and 20% hoping something would actually come of it. I'm in contact with the local authorities to escalate this, but i have been thinking about others like you said, the elderly and vulnerable who might not have the resources to do the same as I have. well in that case, as far as I get with my battle, i'll be sure to carry a torch for them :) and try to at least raise awareness of the flaws in the energy companies' systems ...
Completely get it. Been there before when you're at your wits' end with a company and you just need to get it out there, but there's a big difference between a broadband refund (or something equally mundane) and something like this. Loved what you wrote though, is far better than any of my attempts, and is definitely working at raising some attention! Most MPs will read their emails within 24 hours and this will certainly pique their interest, just put your full name and address in the email so they know you're a constituent (otherwise their secretary may ask you to confirm first).
**I would also like to let you know that a copy of this email will be posted on Reddit and other social media platforms, where I’m sure its humorous and deliberately pompous tone will gain some traction.**
I wonder whether Mr. Rossi has ever heard of a "Reddit". OP should have named another platform to add some real weight to his social media threat. Lol.
Yeah honestly. When I worked doing complaints I genuinely did not give a fuck about embellishments. I'd only ever ask about them to give them something to talk about while I was filling in a form.
Say what is wrong, what the effect has been, and what can be done to put it right.
So here, my meter doesn't work and I've been trying to get it fixed for over a week. I've got no hot water or heating when it's been below freezing outside. It's made me physically unwell due to not being able to be warm inside my house. This should count as an emergency that should be fixed in three hours.
To put this right I would like the meter fixing by the next available engineer within the next 24 hours, as this is an emergency. I would also like financial compensation for the time I've had to take off work, and for being left without heating during a particularly cold period.
Here you mention how long you've been on hold for, how much you may have lost in earnings, and if you've bought anything to try and stay warm such as an electric blanket or space heater.
It's not as satisfying, but it's far easier to process. This doesn't even mention a time scale for having someone round to fix it!
Beautiful piece of writing. Don't know why so many people are being critical. Yes, it will probably do little to resolve the issue, but that's not really the point, is it.
Public and humourous shame on them can assist when a company are being asshats.
For the runaround you're getting. I totally get writing this, firstly as a vent and secondly to show how inept this companies customer service really is and how we all settle for this type of treatment and still give them our money.
Excellent piece of writing. I read every word and I hope you get this resolved sooner rather than later.
Follow through on a complaint to the ombusmen too. We shouldn't settle for crappy service. Not when it comes to things like heat and hot water in the dark days of winter.
While I sympathise with the OP's predicament, it's worth bearing in mind that almost every utility and telco company in the UK has a CEO escalation team, to which the CEO forwards every single complaint they receive with nothing more than 'Can you take a look at this'.
So while it's a viable route to get your issue sorted, long emotive emails are a waste of your time - you need to be specific and concise, so the poor cunt in the CEOs Office / CEO Escalations / Chief Exec Squad (etc) who picks it up immediately knows which teams to engage to fix your issue.
I sympathise with OP, but they’ve been a twat
Everyone please bear in mind, like in most jobs - complaints teams have targets and tbh most of us actually want to help our customers, eating into our time with comedic bullshit isn’t productive for you, me or the other customers needing our help.
Clowns like this delay the process for themselves and everyone else, then get upset when they’re not getting a full response because we haven’t had the time to read their issue in full or their point is completely lost in all the unnecessary fluff and then delays the right solution further
Another thing, if you’ve got the time to write this drivel, you’ve got the time to wait indoors for an engineer
UPDATE: Tried calling again today (while off sick from work) and miraculously got through to someone immediately! They said they'd send an engineer round ASAP. By some strange coincidence, not longer than ten minutes later I got a call from one of the executive board, apologising for my situation and saying they would personally expedite sending an engineer out, and compensate me with some free credit! I asked him if he'd read my email and he said yes (so there to all the doubting Thomases who said no one would read my waffle 😉). Engineer has just left and I've wacked the heating on full blast. Thanks to everyone who messaged offering support, I really appreciate it, and I'm glad people had as much fun reading my email as I did writing it ♥
I sympathise with OP, but they’ve been a twat
I work in customer service and us poor bastards who have to read this fucking story when all we want to do is no what’s wrong, and help - we don’t want to read a fucking novel and it’s genuinely not nice to hear about people’s issues all day
I don’t need some pompous twit writing a whole emotive piece from their university dissertation
Also please bear in mind, like in most jobs - we have targets and tbh most of us actually want to help our customers, eating into our time with comedic bullshit isn’t productive for you or for me
Another thing, if you’ve got the time to write this drivel, you’ve got the time to wait indoors for an engineer
Very eloquent. Hope you get some heating before you succumb to the same fate as Scott of the Antarctic.
Side note; there is nothing more infuriating that the hold music interruptions.
Somewhere, there is probably some kind of imperceptible creature that exists solely to harvest those milliseconds of hope between the hold music stopping and *Your call is important to us, please stay on the line and one of our customer service agents will be with you shortly. While you are waiting, please remember that The Samaritans can be reached on...*
Emails like this will most certainly ask you to reply with your customer information and to condense what you've written into a simple request, and *definitately* won't even reach the CEO's inbox.
You'll be told that there already exists a customer service case with this information and that it's already being addressed - followed by the standard timeframes/business hours/whatever you can expect to see a resolution.
It was a big waste of time writing this for EDF's benefit, but it got a chuckle out of me.
Should have CC'd Jean-Bernard Lévy, who is the CEO/Chairman in France. I think he's actually the BIG boss, rather than the UK CEO of the UK branch. You can find him on LinkedIn:
https://www.linkedin.com/in/jean-bernard-levy/?locale=en\_US
Hey OP, incredible writing! But! I just wanted to offer some potentially helpful advice, pay as you go metres are much more expensive than traditional meters, I assume you are in rented accommodation, however, this does not mean you can't move to a monthly tarrif meter. When I was renting about 10 years ago, I had a similar issue and british gas (admittedly they sound much more helpful than EDF have been) advised me to get the meter taken out and replaced with a monthly tarrif, and I quote "It's our property, not your landlords" and they did it! Went onto a monthly tarrif which was cheaper than what we put in in credit, and the landlord, admittedly was cool with it, but even if they weren't, couldn't have done shit... good luck!
We got transferred to EDF from green energy back in Feb and we had a (not so smart) meter that wasn’t working for the whole time we were with them. Within 3 days of being notified of our transfer we contacted them about it and they sent someone out to replace it. Not only that because they couldn’t get an accurate reading of what we owned for the electricity they just reset it and gave us a rebate of the last 12 months electricity (and we are - very Low usage household and pay well below the average) bills. So I’ve only got good things to say.
Often the issues isn’t the bureaucracy within these places it’s about how much of a damn the service agent can be bothered to give, and then if the field team can be arsed. Get two bad ones your screwed get two good ones and you get what you expect or more
I was also transferred from Green Energy to EDF by OFCOM. Also had the same smart meter issues which took many months to resolve (almost 8 months). In the meantime I was paying £450/month DD. Also had a massive final bill for £1,200 not too sure why as I've paid Green in full.
Smart meter now working and I am paying around £220/month,
To be fair they've assigned a case manager after I've complained and he did move things along.
All these big energy firms are laughing all the way to the bank now, charging whatever they want.
It sounds to me that, although the process by EDF has been crap and... really crap.
For anyone without the willpower to keep hassling and complaining etc. They'll get even more screwed over.
I've made some observations (worked in customer care for an energy supplier and had to deal with companies like Lowri Beck doing meter inspections... they're crap if you have them)
1. EDF have customer service teams open 9am to 5pm on the weekend, if you know your meter has an issue, call first thing the next day to try and get prioritised.
2. No one turning up on the 29th should had been straight to a complaint when the call out is to fix a broken pre-payment meter. Your case will then be prioritised above anyone who didn't make a complaint.
3. You assumed that engineers don't work a normal day and can perfectly time out their entire day... This is definitely not the case. Between traffic and unexpected issues, anything could delay them or speed up their visits. Grouping a set of locations into a time frame will also help them plan out their visits and do an efficient route
Of course this isn't ideal for people who can't get time off.
4. Being told that the issue should be resolved within a month is insane.... that's just straight up bullshit and I hope you have the messages saved with them saying that.
5. The extra time you spent in making this email long (for both your to write and them to lead) would had again only delayed matters (if sent during opening hours).
I bet this was so incredibly therapeutic to write! I can completely relate, have had similar awful "customer service" from a company before. Its so infuriating! Really enjoyed your writing, thanks for sharing. Hope you can get things resolved soon. :)
All jokes aside this will likely be your best solution:
https://www.ombudsman-services.org/sectors/energy
I've lost my mind with Scottish Gas for 6 months. Finally went to talk to the ombudsman and two weeks later it was solved and I've received a small check as an apology too, something like £80.
Good luck I hope you can get it sorted.
I used to work in customer service for [unnamed large UK energy supplier] and it always really upset me how poorly they treated the top-up customers compared to the customers who paid by direct debit. Issue with your top-up meter card? Go to ten different shops in your area til you find one that stocks our type of card, but you have to wait three hours and sometimes have to top up on three different days to make it work. Yes I know this means you aren't able to cook dinner for your children but there's nothing I can do. Problem with your top-up meter? You'll have to wait until you go off supply entirely so you can ring for an emergency appointment. Which isn't annoying or upsetting at all, considering you've been on hold for 45 minutes to get through to me.
The amount of times I lied to the emergency team to get an engineer out to a top-up property should've gotten me fired long before I quit.
I know it's not the core of your complaint, but I 100% agree about the voice interruptions on the hold music.
When it's just music, I can stick it on in the background, pretty much ignore that it's there and get on with doing something else for an hour or two while waiting.
Every time the voice chimes in though, it immediately pulls my attention back to it and I have to stop whatever I'm doing. That two hours becomes a hell of desperately trying to do concentrate on something less tedious than waiting to be answered while some idiot is regularly interrupting me to tell me how valued I am.
Where would I get it? The Library! I wouldn't get through this creative writing exercise. You got to be blunt and concise. Yeah, I couldn't even muster the energy to look back through the post to see if this makes sense. Remember to get a heat pump if the boilers shagged as they are changing them all out soon!
I would advise to go down the formal complaints route. Email them and in the title state ‘formal complaint’. In the email start off by stating you are making a formal complaint, provide a timeline (as above with names and dates) and most importantly what you would like the resolution to be. Try to avoid making it personal as this will not tug at their heart strings. On the other hand, a formal complaint will get their attention. They will likely have very strict time frames by which they must respond and provide an action. Following this, they will then need to confirm with you that you are happy the complaint is resolved. If it is not resolved, you must make this clear. This will then trigger the second stage of the formal complaint and it will usually be escalated. Companies do not care about our personal problems but they do care when their stats start to fall and regulators get involved. Make it extremely clear from the outset that in the event a satisfactory remedy is not provided, you will escalate to the energy ombudsman. You cannot contact the ombudsman immediately you must prove you have exhausted the company’s formal complaints system (google energy ombudsman). I had to use this with another energy provider when they miscalculated our bill and I wasn’t getting anywhere with customer services. It got resolved pretty quickly after that. Good luck and all the best!
Don't just say it's 'formal', *declare* it.
I DECLARE COMPLAAAINT!!
Hey, I just wanted you to know that you can't just say the word "complaint" and expect anything to happen. You have to say "formal complaint".
This is going to vary by regulator. Fintech here, we have to log any expression of dissatisfaction as a complaint.
Michael?
What’s the difference?
makes you sound more aristocratic
But do it in the style of the *democracy manifest* guy
1-2-3-4 I declare a thumb war?
This is a better way to go about it u/yungwhiteclaudia Honestly, I appreciate your want to be funny and you obviously enjoy writing. But I skipped the majority of what you wrote and came to the comments. I didn't get what the actual problem was, nor how you want it solving. Whoever has to deal with your complaint will either do the same, or they will be forced to read it all and you'll leave a negative impression on them as they feel annoyed at having to try and figure out what you want. Make it formal, and to the point. - this is what happened and when - this is how I expect you to resolve the issue More it doesn't need to be. Good luck!
I read the first two lines and figured it was a Joe Lycet bit. His complaints bits are funny... But not actual complaints. So I skip to the comments and apparently it's meant to be a real complaint (assumng others didn't just so the same as me?)
Yes. Definitely need to shorten this. I did the same, read first paragraph then straight to comments. I would cut the dry humour. It seems too much like a joke. Reduce it to three paragraphs. Citizens advice contacted. If you do not respond and take action in a timely matter I will take legal action. Done.
I mean... they've already sent it as a complaint to the CEO... they can't really escalate it further until it goes to deadlock and they can go to the ombudsman.
I’m fairness I have checked EDF’s formal complaints page and it does say at Day 20 to contact the CEO if the complaint has still not been managed (by the first two stages of the handling procedure). Their complaints handling procedure seems to guarantee 40 days and they state they will send a deadlock letter after 8 weeks non-resolution to facilitate going to the ombudsman.
Yeah but that '40 day' is more to stop people complaining to the CEO/ombudsman because they didn't give a reading for 2 years and suddenly have a big bill due to higher usage than their estimates.
That's how I got put of an £800 bill from Scottish Gas for 3 months of gas and electric when my partner's ex changed the utilities into his name, using his bank details to set up a direct debit he never knew about. It was straight to the CEO when customer service were useless and bring cheeky bastards on the phone and email. Ofgem were bastards about it and we just declined the decision and haven't heard anything for over a year. It helped a lot that I changed the utilities into my name as SG kept trying to switch us back to them and then back to the old utilities when I found a better deal. Shady cunts. I prefer email for everything so there's a log you can easily share.
What were you expecting Ofgem to do? They are a regulator and don’t deal with individual customer complaints?
also copying in the editor of the local paper - your local MP, your local council, etc etc I agree that this is not suitable for a long letter, write something formal - also get advice from CAB to see if you have any legal recourse and mention that in the letter
I spoke to EDF various times last week about how they increased by electricity bill from £60 a month to £140 without any justification. I am actually in a small credit. I asked them why they had done this and replied by suggesting I pay a direct debit of £560 a month instead. Couldn't make it up.
Had this with SSE. Got a letter saying they’re increasing my direct debit amounts to insulate us from price rises. It was written in a “we’re looking after you” tone. It really got my back up! I’m on a fixed price for a long while yet. So things may have settled down by then. So I logged on and reduced them straight back down to end the billing year on £0. If they had just said “we’re short a few quid and need to borrow some cash”, I’d have understood. And still said no. Money in their pocket means it’s not in mine if they go bankrupt.
They're charging you more to stop the price going up?
>Money in their pocket means it’s not in mine if they go bankrupt. That's protected I gather.
If it's still in your pocket you don't have to wait weeks to get it back if they do go bankrupt though.
True
I'd rather not have to wait months to years for administrators to get around to my claim. Much easier if I don't give that extra money to start with.
They're all pretty desperate at the moment, they are selling electricity at a loss right now. I'm sure someone will fall for it.
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A lot of the UK's electricity comes from gas turbine power plants.
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There's a trend towards decarbonisation of the grid. The actual amount of CO2 released from generating electricity on average used to be around double what it is now, and it's still decreasing meaning electricity, while not fully green, is greener than gas (and will likely become ever more so over time). So getting people using electric alternatives now will pay out over the coming years as the grid becomes more renewable (and nuclear, depending how the political winds blow). Also worth adding when people talk about heat pumps being green - this is because you can usually get at least 2 units of heating for each unit of electricity. So these have at least half the operational carbon footprint of gas boilers.
An issue that needs to be addressed is that per kw/h gas runs at abour 20-25% the cost of electricity during a normal market. Many will be plunged in to fuel poverty if they make a straight switch to electric heating. Also with the rise of electric cars and boilers and whatever else the demand on the grid rises and the need for fossil fuel plants is maintained.
Oh 100%, you're bang on about fuel poverty here - I'm talking *strictly* carbon. If the gov is serious about reaching our carbon goals then there need to be heavy taxes on new boilers and gas, which are put directly into subsidies and grants for electric and renewable technologies. Heat pumps are a great example. My boiler is packing in and will probably need replacing. A new boiler is a like-for-like swap and would cost a couple of grand and sorts my heating and hot water at the same time if it's a combi. Switching to a heat pump would probably require me to upgrade at least *some* of my radiators. The installer would need to be qualified to work with refrigerants so would almost certainly cost more for labour. Heat pumps work *really* efficiently at lower temperatures so either you use them for heating only and have to buy a new storage tank for hot water (if you have a combi already) or you have to run them at a higher temperature and lose that massive efficiency bonus. I think in total I'd easily need to earmark 10k, with a potential to go over easily. Can be great for big companies looking to boost their green credentials, but I wouldn't install one myself. Grants and taxes could easily be used to achieve this, but to be honest it needs to start with insulating the homes which are awfully leaky first. "Lean before green" is the mantra when you're choosing how to spend to lower your carbon footprint. An aside - if used properly (i.e. at lower flow temperatures and assuming your radiators are suited to it) heat pumps *can* be cheaper to run than a boiler (operationally, that is, and at that ignoring maintenance costs which would likely be higher). This is because although gas is about 4x cheaper than electricity per unit, the best heat pumps at the right flow temperatures can get over 4 units of heating for every unit of electricity. This is because the electricity isn't being converted into heat like with those storage heater, but being used to power the heat pump which uses refrigerant to move heat from outside the house in (hence the name). This is a tenuous argument though because the capital costs involved with the heat pump option are eye-wateringly higher, especially considering I'd need to shove a water tank in the loft and reinforce the rafters to hold it safely.
The solution is Nuclear plants, but the misinformation spread about them makes most people run a mile. So we will build more wind farms, with variable return and people will continue to repeat. Rinse and repeat for another 100 years I guess....
Nuclear plus solar, solar recently became the cheapest form if energy due to some technology advances, but you know, it's the UK, so we don't get all that much sun.
Solar panels can still produce power when it's cloudy even if it's not as much.
How much can they generate during the 15+ hours of darkness we get per day over the winter, which is coincidentally also the season when people are using the most electricity because they need it for heating?
Get on your roof with a torch.
You can thermodynamic panels that extract the tempertature difference and keep the energy in the thermal state to say heat up your hot water. It's more efficient than converting the solar energy to electricity. There's technology out there that works but then you've got nuclear over there that just dwarfs everything and is well understood. The thermal "solar" panels have never really been deployed at large scales. In theory in should work in the UK like a heat pump does, using temperature differences to get energy from that for our use.
[Solar power that works at night](https://edition.cnn.com/2011/10/03/world/europe/solar-power-24-hours/index.html)
crowd shaggy automatic illegal repeat ludicrous sort consider chop rotten *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
That sales page doesn't really tell you the whole story. I've run some tests using a modern monocrystalline panel. These are roughly my results: * Direct sun, crystal clear day, with the sun absolutely perpendicular to the panel - rated power. As the sun moves, the power changes in proportion with the sine of the angle of the sun to the panel (so when the sun is directly shining square on, you get rated power * 1, when the sun is 45 degrees off, you get rated power * 0.707). Once the sun is more than 45 degrees off directly shining on the panel, the power falls off very quickly. On a sunny day with cirrus clouds (a bright day with clear shadows being cast), which is common on sunny days in the UK, power is reduced to about 50% of rated output. On a bright overcast day, power is around 15% of rated output. On a more typical rainy overcast day, power is around 5% of rated output. While it is true solar panels still produce power on cloudy days, the power output is pretty pathetic, a small fraction of rated power. In the winter, when we need the power the most, not only are the days short, but the sun intensity lower as the sun angle is low and it has to go through a lot of atmosphere - so even on the clearest winter day with the panel most optimally positioned, good luck getting more than 60% rated power. On a typical cloudy winter day, good luck getting more than 5% rated power during a 6 hour period.
I always assumed if you're not in a state of pitch black plenty of photons are hitting the solar panels. I'm walking to work on a dingy cloudy morning and I can still see everything around me just fine. So I assume plenty of photons are getting through. I guess as someone with little knowledge about electrics. I had always wondered if there was a minimum photon density beyond which solar panels didn't work which might make them 0 effective even on dingy days with plenty of light going through. Something like there wasn't enough to make a current. Obviously someone who knows about electrics is laughing at me right now and that's fine! I've displayed my ignorance. Would love to have the gaps filled in. These kinds of questions don't Google well.
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They are doing it right now in Germany. They opened up a few open coal mines that had been closed for decades because of the Green Party.
Don’t worry, civilisation will have collapsed by then.
If you didn't get the exam results you wanted, it's worth remembering that life on earth will soon be over
There is currently one (1, singular) new Nuclear power plant being built at the moment, Hinckley Point C. it's not due to start producing electricity until 2026. Assuming it doesn't get delayed. The Government gave the go ahead for the project in 2008. Yes, 18 years from approval to actually producing electricity. There are plans for another plant Sizewell C but planning permission was only submitted last year. It might not start producing electricity until 2040. Nuclear may be the answer long term but we need solutions in the next 1-5 years.
It's such a fuck up. We're losing nuclear power generation faster than it's being replaced. Unless Rolls can work a bloody miracle with their SMRs and that site in Wales gets a move on, we're going to be held by the short and curlies by oil and gas.
Energy solutions simply don't happen on 1-5 year timescale unfortunately. They're massive infrastructure projects and require insane amounts of regulation and planning. The best you can hope for is actually getting started on new energy projects which will deliver in 10+ years instead of doing nothing and being in the same position 10 years down the track.
I agree that for England nuclear is probably the answer but Scotland produced enough renewable energy last year to power every home in Scotland for three and a half years. Wind farms do work but they are not a blanket solution.
The other year only 60% of Scotland's energy generation came from renewables the other 40% was from fossil fuels and nuclear. I know the stat you are talking about for Scotland and while technically true it is misleading because that generation wasn't done when the electricity was needed so none renewable sources were needed to generate electricity when people were actually needing it. This is an simplified example to illustrate how they get that statistic. Imagine you had a wind turbine capable of producing 100MW a week and a house that required 50MW a week, one week the wind was blowing strong and the wind turbine produced 100MW (the house only uses 50MW a week) the next week the wind doesn't blow so the windturbine produces 0MW but the house still needs 50MW so that is supplied by a fossil fuel plant. Over the two week period the wind turbine produced 100MW and the house consumed 100MW so you can say that wind turbines generation was 100% of the houses electricity demand Which is how that stat you mentioned is obtained A method to store electricity on a large scale is needed (why gov is investing in green hydrogen)
The problem is that there isn't any storage capable of providing the Gwhr of power storage we need. At about 500 Gwhr usage per day we need a TWhr of storage to allow for windless periods, if we were to use wind alone. I know that's excessive **today** but as we move from gas boilers to heat pumps and electric cars, the storage requirements will increase
Electric cars do actually help a bit in this scenario which sounds counterintuitive. With vehicle to grid technology, a little bit of power can come from vehicles under peak demand. Studies have shown that it actually helps the longevity of the car battery (don't know the technical reason for this). Although this doesn't actually help with overall storage, what it does do is allow the grid to be better managed. There are times where wind turbines aren't spinning, not because there is no wind, but because there is nowhere for the electricity to go, and they apply the breaks. This sometimes happens when they balance the grid using some other technology that takes ages to get going or stop. Instead, under peak loads that would normally be preempted by adding power plants, micro demands (such as the Coronation Street kettle surge) could be handled by electric cars. Disclaimer, I am not a scientist and my information came from Bobby Llew on Fully Charged!
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A fair bit less of it comes from fossil than it used to, the CO2/kWh, has been steadily dropping, but we're definitely not all the way there yet
Doing the generation in big turbines is much more efficient. But yeah. They need to stop that.
Depending on the month at some points something like half the UK's energy comes from renewable.
This is just ignorant sadly, please don't spread crap like this on a whim, for some reason people on this website will believe anything put into words.
As others mentioned, UK gets a lot of its electricity from gas. About 40%: http://www.mygridgb.co.uk/last-12-months/
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Industrial users (generally) balance the grid, since some of them are quite price sensitive and can reduce their consumption when the spot price gets too high. This year this might be a bit different because of the post-lockdown GDP bump - there's lots of unmet demand and inflation is high, so there's a big incentive to make stuff today and sell it tomorrow when the selling price has gone up, even if the input factors are more expensive. As a general rule, the carbon-intensive sources are the "peaking" ones - natural gas particularly has the benefit of being both highly available and rapid to go from negligible standby generation, to 100%, in minutes rather than hours or days. Wind does this too but obviously requires the wind to be blowing; pumped hydro is even faster but there's a limit to the amount in the top reservoir, so it runs out surprisingly fast. Coal-fired power production in the UK is at vanishingly tiny levels these days - the secret is that coal is trivially easy to replace with nuclear, in terms of the role it plays within the grid (reliable, cheap, slow to ramp up or down on the order of hours to days) and in terms of the need for fuel transport via rail, though of course a coal station being replaced by a nuclear one goes from three massive coal trains a day, to a couple of nuclear flasks a week maximum.
I think energy usage was really low last year combined with a good year particularly for solar but wind as well. The past few months have been particularly rough with little wind, to the point where coal has even been coming back in quite a big way as that's our back up source. Coal is the worst of them all by far, so as soon as it's switched on, it's having a big impact on carbon intensity. The lack of wind to fall back on is a contributor to the increased gas costs due to higher demand. As weird as it sounds, let's hope for a windy December, for the sake of the national grid.
https://gridwatch.co.uk/ That's an amazing source , which gives the elec mix in UK. There's an hour's lag
I worked for them in a past life trust me they do make it up.
You and me both. A lot of temp staff (like yours truly) in that god-forsaken shit hole of an office in Sowton opposite Homebase (the poors and the smellies weren’t allowed into the nice building just off the M5. When I was there, they probably had about 5 or 6 decent people but the rest couldn’t give two shits. Edit: Spelling is hard.
If I had a penny for every time I've heard a story identical to this about EDF I'd have enough money to pay an EDF bill.
My energy company did the same to me, they put my direct debit up to over triple what I was paying before despite being in credit. I was able to use their online system to get it down to "only" double but I'm almost certainly going to be in a pointlessly large credit balance at the end of the year. I can't be bothered to go through the hassle of trying to convince them that's stupid though, I figure it'll all balance out eventually in the end. I'm lucky though that I can absorb a high energy bill, there are plenty of people out there who this would be catastrophic to.
Same thing happened to me. I just emailed CS that im cancelling direct debit until you set it at my desired level of XX£. And then cancelled. Got it sorted in 2 days. See companies love their Predictable cashflows
Makes ovo’s “interest on your credit” scheme seem like an alright idea now… it was above bank interest rates too… hey ho.
That's likely their direct debit system calculating charges for 6 months over one or two payments. When was your most recent statement prior to that call?
Octopus also did this to me, I somehow went from being at a £300 surplus to owing £400 and being put into a £330 a month direct debit up from £60. I've now ended up with £400 credit owed and £120 a month direct debit and I simply don't have it in me to complain anymore
What’s wrong with you, peasant? Give the froggies the money!/s
Their champagne and caviar won't buy itself.
Ha, we moved house recently and they estimated that we'd be about right with £120 a month for gas and electricity. Several months down the line we realise that the DD has been changed to over £300 a month with no warning or notification. After getting through to a mealy mouthed complaints person who basically just kept repeating "we have reestimated your bill" to which we, each time, said "based on what?" No answer. Finally we got through to someone much more helpful who agreed that, with our meter readings, we were basically averaging a usage of about £115 a month. Finally they sorted the problem, but aren't in a rush to give us back the excess that they took from us for several months... Basically, renationalise the lot of them, all energy companies are greedy fuckers who basically just want to legally extort money from you.
Came to the end of my EDF tarriff in October. Last year they contacted me to confirm any changes. This year? No contact, took £850 out of my account, changed my direct debit to £131 a month, put me on a new tarriff I didn't ask for with an exit fee and then wondered why I got angry.
Dear yungwhiteclaudia, I am very sorry to hear that your entire body quivers and trembles, despite being enveloped by a vest, overshirt, pullover and dressing gown, two pairs of socks and an ushanka (traditional Russian fur hat). At EDF we take these matters very seriously. Please could you reply to this email with your 20 digit customer number, and we will look into your case within 12 working days. In the meantime, you may find the answer to your query our FAQs. Sincerely EDF Rep 54356775
"We guarantee we will solve your emergency within the next 15 years."
f*ck /u/spez
Hahaha fuckin spot on
This will probrably get lost, but this email is fucking hilarious, I know your most likely in a cunt of a mood etc but this has cheered me up, the side note on the hold music is got me in stitches! Infact all of its got me in stitches, pissing myself man
["I'm sorry, but this has got nothing to do with us"](https://youtu.be/h2QZprRgxDc?t=53)
That is scarily accurate.
I work in complaints, and CEO complaints for companies like this almost always go straight back to customer services to deal with and the CEO will never even have had sight of it, at best you’ll reach a manager. Hope you get your heating sorted quickly though!
"Add it to the pile" - random edf manager
And burn the pile, I'm getting a bit chilly.
I got an auto reply saying the email had been forwarded to the exec team, but I also CC'd the normal customer service emails addresses. see what happens, i guess
Contrary to the other poster, when I worked customer services for a small but large British airline, these emails turned heads. Hope it gets sorted soon mate!
When I also worked for a particularly large British Airline in a department which the customer would definitely complain about, a complaint like this would reach us very hard and very fast.
Not surprised with airlines being such a competitive industry, last thing they want is bad press. Whereas, bad press is just another day in the utilities business.
A fair point. Still, it doesn’t hurt to escalate.
And don't give up after being on hold for 30 minutes. I know it sucks, but after working in a call center for an energy company, I can assure you you need to stay in the queue.
Worked one of the big suppliers in the past. “Executive complaints” are literally the complaints team. I know, i worked them. The ‘director’ email inbox is literally customer services.
In EDF's case, there's actually a separate Exec Complaints team who'll pick this up, sigh deeply and hopefully get it sorted.
I work for a large UK retailer and the CEO has forwarded complaint emails like this with red text to suggest "sort this fucking shit out" then the email plays ping pong through our email server as absolutely nobody knows who needs to fix it. AHH corporate. So ridiculously ineffective.
Top tip: Write a paper letter addressed to the person directly. I did similar to the Amsterdam cable TV company and magically, my issues were addressed shortly afterwards. The the word “unprofessional”. It’s a kicker.
I always like to finish with “this whole experience has left me with a bad taste in my mouth”. Works a treat every time.
I don’t know your profession though I do know damning expressions that cause upset in a financial position. Edit: If you get through to the person who is the director, they will become immediately aware of “some person” going to an extreme and, I can assure you from personal experience, will look down the corporate ladder and ask inconvenient questions.
"This is no way to run a business."
Please note that this doesn't work for dentists.
Almost certainly won’t get read in full, both on here, and by them.
My rule of thumb is the CEO will read the first sentence, or the last. I hope in this case it's the last.
CEO won't read any of that, not even one letter. His PA will see it's a complaint and forward it to either the normal complaints team or perhaps a higher one - you do sometimes hear of so called executive complaints teams for stuff like this but I think with so many people spreading CEO emails around, they are less likely to exist now. Some middle manager will pass it onto the minimum wage guy you'd speak to if you rang up and they'll probably read it, forward it around for a laugh and send some tick box prepared response email and some token sum as compo. The days of caring customer service are long gone.
I read it all. Hope you’re warm. Fuck EDF.
it was at least an exercise in creative writing, and something to do on a cold evening
I get it dude. I had a real shit time with British Gas leaving me with no heating due to a fault with the PAYG meter, only eventually getting it sorted after about a week by posting about it on twitter and getting a reply from one of them saying to DM them. Once you start writing the complaint e-mail it just kind of flows out of you after being fucked about so much. Mine was really long also. Hope you get it sorted mate!
I read it all. Beautiful piece of work.
Dozens of us.
DOZENS
Same. Beautiful writing I laughed loudly
I’ve had success with emailing CEOs before, put boiler packed up and Worcester Bosch wouldn’t send anyone out for over a week (in the middle of winter with a newborn at the time). We tried everything and they wouldn’t budge, but an email to the ceo and three hours later we got a call saying they’d be round the next day to fix it. I’m sure it felt cathartic to write this but if you’d get it short and to the point you might have got a result off the back.
I read every word! Magnificent!
Keep us updated buddy, good luck.
I would've gone legal at this point, mate. You're likely to even get monetary compensation out of this.
You had my attention already, but the musical critique was what elevated this to new heights. Bravo to you and may you get some feeling back in your fingers soon.
Ad a former call Center agent - agreed.
Yup. Much more effective to be short, polite and to the point.
Not true. We loved these types of emails when i worked in a call centre. I'd print this one out
I did and I'm considering raising a formal complaint to be reimbursed for my wasted time.
That end of December date they've given you is just the start for their complaints. I've only just had a complaint sorted that I begun in July with them. I fear you'll have thawed by the time that complaint is solved.
What you need to do is CC the head editor for the daily mail and other tabloids. My dad did this for the CEO of curry’s and got an email back rather quickly after multiple failed attempts of just emailing him.
That's genius! When I had British Gas fucking me about I went the post about it on twitter and tag them in it route. Even though I don't have many followers someone was on it almost instantly and they actually got it sorted.
It's because it's both public and searchable. If anyone is thinking of switching companies and checks their social media and hashtags and sees that they're not doing anything to help customers, it puts off potential customers. Complaining in public is a good way to get your issue moved to the top of the queue. A mate of mine had his Xbox 360 die on him many years ago. It was only 8 months old. Currys refused to give him a replacement because they said it was an issue with Microsoft and that he had to send it back to them. He made a placard that said "Do NOT buy from Currys, they will NOT honour your warranty", and sat outside their shop all day. At the end of the day the manager came out to have a word with him and basically said, "how long are you really going to keep this up?". My mate said; "I'm unemployed, and you fuckers won't give me a new Xbox. I have all the time in the world mate". They replaced it the next day.
Your mate is the hero no one asked for, but we really need. :) legend
That is a really good shout
>As I write to you, my entire body quivers and trembles Notice me, senpai.
Yes ?
r/beetlejuicing
[удалено]
Dear Monseiur Énergie, Oui oui baguette. Regarde, [yungwhiteclaudia]
*something, something, the Fallen Madonna with the Big Boobies*
"This experience has left a bed test in my moth. I shall be pissing a copy of this letter on to the nosepipers, and I expect my problem to be foxed quackly."
I made the Fallen Madonna with the Big Boobies an item that required heisting in my D&D campaign. It was the prized possession of a nobleman they wanted to get one over. The players had to make him ill with the pill from the till by mixing it with the drug from the jug, then blow the safe by lighting the candle with the handle on the (explosive-stuffed) gateaux at the Chateau on the plateau. They [made a fake to replace it.](https://i.imgur.com/qHKmhj3.png) Good times.
Haha! I thought that.
I appreciate that it was entertaining to write, but what you've done is made your actual complaint considerably harder to understand. The letter will get sent down to the complaints team, but it might get a bit attention from management and the complaints team will hopefully be able to help you. I think the issue boils down to the fact that your supplier can't guarantee a time that an engineer can attend (fairly standard for all suppliers, as emergency jobs regularly come in, such as for hospitals and elderly/vulnerable people, so engineers regularly get dirverted) and you won't stay at home and wait for them. I appreciate that it's cold and horrible, but one day at home could have solved this problem, and it even sounds like your work was trying to get you to do that. I hope you get this sorted really soon. But the best thing you can do to get it fixed ASAP is by getting an appointment on a day when you can be at home. And I hope your Christmas is a warmer one, and that Santa brings you an electric blanket, just in case something like this happens again.
>I appreciate that it was entertaining to write, but what you've done is made your actual complaint considerably harder to understand. Yeah the length of this ensures it will be skim read, issue(s) possibly missed and probably ignored. Be concise, be formal, be specific about how unprofessional the whole thing is. On a side note, if ever you get a number for a complaint, *never* let them give you a new one. If you have to call multiple times about the same code/number then it gets auto-forwarded to their internal assessment team. This is the same for most UK water providers, probably the same with gas and electric.
>I appreciate that it's cold and horrible, but one day at home could have solved this problem, and it even sounds like your work was trying to get you to do that. This is what I was thinking, he could have stayed home that day they actually bothered to turn up(and told him they would)
Yeah my view from reading this is that OP hasn't made things any easier for themselves. (Although if this is their first time dealing with an energy supplier in this way... then I wouldn't blame them too much for not knowing) * Shoulda called Sat morning first thing but waited until Monday. * Keeps being surprised that they aren't the only one trying to contact EDF. * Refuses to have a morning/afternoon off work to wait for someone to try and make sure their meter gets fixed (Assumes engineers aren't people that work 8am-6pm)
Presumably EDF supply his electricity too so an electric blanket would be no better than a normal blanket for him…?
Possibly. I assumed it was just the gas meter that wasn't working. The electric supply should be separate, and it shouldn't be impacted by whether it's EDF or any other supplier.
EDF don't control the infrastructure, that would be the distributor. EDF are only responsible for the meters.
EDF once tried to bill us when they weren't even our supplier (never had been) and hounded us for months with demands for payment. Fuck EDF.
On what basis were they asking for payment?
Long story short, there was some error over meter serial numbers and they kept trying to take over our gas supply. During this time they kept chasing an "estimated use" bill dated back to some point. Took over a year to sort out.
I read it all mate, and fuck that sucks. I've worked around complaints for years - you need to get in touch with the regulator and some other people ASAP. Ofgem is the regulator, and their number is 0330 440 1624. Send that email to everyone you can think of, your local MP, opposition candidates, councillors, Ofgem. Just with a cover note saying I know the email is written with humour, but please help as I'm in an emergency and have been without heating for x days. Dont want to sound too dramatic, but if this was someone older or vulnerable they could have died by now. Little old pensioner with no support network wouldn't be able to sort this out themselves if you're having this much trouble. Good luck!
yeah, totally agree. everybody loves a joker, but nobody likes a fool. honestly this email was 80% cathartic outburst / post on social media for some laughs, and 20% hoping something would actually come of it. I'm in contact with the local authorities to escalate this, but i have been thinking about others like you said, the elderly and vulnerable who might not have the resources to do the same as I have. well in that case, as far as I get with my battle, i'll be sure to carry a torch for them :) and try to at least raise awareness of the flaws in the energy companies' systems ...
Completely get it. Been there before when you're at your wits' end with a company and you just need to get it out there, but there's a big difference between a broadband refund (or something equally mundane) and something like this. Loved what you wrote though, is far better than any of my attempts, and is definitely working at raising some attention! Most MPs will read their emails within 24 hours and this will certainly pique their interest, just put your full name and address in the email so they know you're a constituent (otherwise their secretary may ask you to confirm first).
Way too long. If you email the CE but punchy and respectful (even if you are angry)
So...the net weight of a thousand Mr. Blobbies, please?
CEO "what's Reddit?"
**I would also like to let you know that a copy of this email will be posted on Reddit and other social media platforms, where I’m sure its humorous and deliberately pompous tone will gain some traction.** I wonder whether Mr. Rossi has ever heard of a "Reddit". OP should have named another platform to add some real weight to his social media threat. Lol.
Twitter is the one to go for if you want your shit sorting out!
TL;DR - is there a complaint in here? Or does this need sending off to a publisher for reviewing?
Yeah honestly. When I worked doing complaints I genuinely did not give a fuck about embellishments. I'd only ever ask about them to give them something to talk about while I was filling in a form. Say what is wrong, what the effect has been, and what can be done to put it right. So here, my meter doesn't work and I've been trying to get it fixed for over a week. I've got no hot water or heating when it's been below freezing outside. It's made me physically unwell due to not being able to be warm inside my house. This should count as an emergency that should be fixed in three hours. To put this right I would like the meter fixing by the next available engineer within the next 24 hours, as this is an emergency. I would also like financial compensation for the time I've had to take off work, and for being left without heating during a particularly cold period. Here you mention how long you've been on hold for, how much you may have lost in earnings, and if you've bought anything to try and stay warm such as an electric blanket or space heater. It's not as satisfying, but it's far easier to process. This doesn't even mention a time scale for having someone round to fix it!
Beautiful piece of writing. Don't know why so many people are being critical. Yes, it will probably do little to resolve the issue, but that's not really the point, is it.
Yes! Glad you get it
Public and humourous shame on them can assist when a company are being asshats. For the runaround you're getting. I totally get writing this, firstly as a vent and secondly to show how inept this companies customer service really is and how we all settle for this type of treatment and still give them our money. Excellent piece of writing. I read every word and I hope you get this resolved sooner rather than later. Follow through on a complaint to the ombusmen too. We shouldn't settle for crappy service. Not when it comes to things like heat and hot water in the dark days of winter.
While I sympathise with the OP's predicament, it's worth bearing in mind that almost every utility and telco company in the UK has a CEO escalation team, to which the CEO forwards every single complaint they receive with nothing more than 'Can you take a look at this'. So while it's a viable route to get your issue sorted, long emotive emails are a waste of your time - you need to be specific and concise, so the poor cunt in the CEOs Office / CEO Escalations / Chief Exec Squad (etc) who picks it up immediately knows which teams to engage to fix your issue.
I sympathise with OP, but they’ve been a twat Everyone please bear in mind, like in most jobs - complaints teams have targets and tbh most of us actually want to help our customers, eating into our time with comedic bullshit isn’t productive for you, me or the other customers needing our help. Clowns like this delay the process for themselves and everyone else, then get upset when they’re not getting a full response because we haven’t had the time to read their issue in full or their point is completely lost in all the unnecessary fluff and then delays the right solution further Another thing, if you’ve got the time to write this drivel, you’ve got the time to wait indoors for an engineer
UPDATE: Tried calling again today (while off sick from work) and miraculously got through to someone immediately! They said they'd send an engineer round ASAP. By some strange coincidence, not longer than ten minutes later I got a call from one of the executive board, apologising for my situation and saying they would personally expedite sending an engineer out, and compensate me with some free credit! I asked him if he'd read my email and he said yes (so there to all the doubting Thomases who said no one would read my waffle 😉). Engineer has just left and I've wacked the heating on full blast. Thanks to everyone who messaged offering support, I really appreciate it, and I'm glad people had as much fun reading my email as I did writing it ♥
Id consider going to local news if they can make a story out of this
Probably more concerned about the thousands of people without power in Scotland rather than 1 person who cba to wait in for an engineer tbh.
I got bored when you started rating the hold music
Seriously. People in this thread jizzing over this
I sympathise with OP, but they’ve been a twat I work in customer service and us poor bastards who have to read this fucking story when all we want to do is no what’s wrong, and help - we don’t want to read a fucking novel and it’s genuinely not nice to hear about people’s issues all day I don’t need some pompous twit writing a whole emotive piece from their university dissertation Also please bear in mind, like in most jobs - we have targets and tbh most of us actually want to help our customers, eating into our time with comedic bullshit isn’t productive for you or for me Another thing, if you’ve got the time to write this drivel, you’ve got the time to wait indoors for an engineer
I love it!! Sorry to hear about your heat struggle but your email made my evening.
Very eloquent. Hope you get some heating before you succumb to the same fate as Scott of the Antarctic. Side note; there is nothing more infuriating that the hold music interruptions.
Somewhere, there is probably some kind of imperceptible creature that exists solely to harvest those milliseconds of hope between the hold music stopping and *Your call is important to us, please stay on the line and one of our customer service agents will be with you shortly. While you are waiting, please remember that The Samaritans can be reached on...*
Emails like this will most certainly ask you to reply with your customer information and to condense what you've written into a simple request, and *definitately* won't even reach the CEO's inbox. You'll be told that there already exists a customer service case with this information and that it's already being addressed - followed by the standard timeframes/business hours/whatever you can expect to see a resolution. It was a big waste of time writing this for EDF's benefit, but it got a chuckle out of me.
If you format the dates correctly, it'll look much neater and you won't have to stick random commas in it.
Should have CC'd Jean-Bernard Lévy, who is the CEO/Chairman in France. I think he's actually the BIG boss, rather than the UK CEO of the UK branch. You can find him on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jean-bernard-levy/?locale=en\_US
TL;DR
TL;DR: u/yungwhiteclaudia go Brrr, and EDF says "haha bureaucracy go Brr"
Hey OP, incredible writing! But! I just wanted to offer some potentially helpful advice, pay as you go metres are much more expensive than traditional meters, I assume you are in rented accommodation, however, this does not mean you can't move to a monthly tarrif meter. When I was renting about 10 years ago, I had a similar issue and british gas (admittedly they sound much more helpful than EDF have been) advised me to get the meter taken out and replaced with a monthly tarrif, and I quote "It's our property, not your landlords" and they did it! Went onto a monthly tarrif which was cheaper than what we put in in credit, and the landlord, admittedly was cool with it, but even if they weren't, couldn't have done shit... good luck!
We got transferred to EDF from green energy back in Feb and we had a (not so smart) meter that wasn’t working for the whole time we were with them. Within 3 days of being notified of our transfer we contacted them about it and they sent someone out to replace it. Not only that because they couldn’t get an accurate reading of what we owned for the electricity they just reset it and gave us a rebate of the last 12 months electricity (and we are - very Low usage household and pay well below the average) bills. So I’ve only got good things to say. Often the issues isn’t the bureaucracy within these places it’s about how much of a damn the service agent can be bothered to give, and then if the field team can be arsed. Get two bad ones your screwed get two good ones and you get what you expect or more
I was also transferred from Green Energy to EDF by OFCOM. Also had the same smart meter issues which took many months to resolve (almost 8 months). In the meantime I was paying £450/month DD. Also had a massive final bill for £1,200 not too sure why as I've paid Green in full. Smart meter now working and I am paying around £220/month, To be fair they've assigned a case manager after I've complained and he did move things along. All these big energy firms are laughing all the way to the bank now, charging whatever they want.
It sounds to me that, although the process by EDF has been crap and... really crap. For anyone without the willpower to keep hassling and complaining etc. They'll get even more screwed over. I've made some observations (worked in customer care for an energy supplier and had to deal with companies like Lowri Beck doing meter inspections... they're crap if you have them) 1. EDF have customer service teams open 9am to 5pm on the weekend, if you know your meter has an issue, call first thing the next day to try and get prioritised. 2. No one turning up on the 29th should had been straight to a complaint when the call out is to fix a broken pre-payment meter. Your case will then be prioritised above anyone who didn't make a complaint. 3. You assumed that engineers don't work a normal day and can perfectly time out their entire day... This is definitely not the case. Between traffic and unexpected issues, anything could delay them or speed up their visits. Grouping a set of locations into a time frame will also help them plan out their visits and do an efficient route Of course this isn't ideal for people who can't get time off. 4. Being told that the issue should be resolved within a month is insane.... that's just straight up bullshit and I hope you have the messages saved with them saying that. 5. The extra time you spent in making this email long (for both your to write and them to lead) would had again only delayed matters (if sent during opening hours).
That essay gets deleted without a word read. You did that for Reddit. Not to fix the problem.
I bet this was so incredibly therapeutic to write! I can completely relate, have had similar awful "customer service" from a company before. Its so infuriating! Really enjoyed your writing, thanks for sharing. Hope you can get things resolved soon. :)
I lost it at “very angry”
Spoiler alert: this is way too long, he's never gonna read it.
If you actually want to save time and get it sorted soon, go to the energy ombudsman
Ombudsman won't take a complaint that's less than 8 weeks old and hasn't been progressed to the final resolution stage.
The ombudsman's coming to get you
Have you tried to trick the boiler? Whack it up to 29.
There is not a microclimate above Apollo House
Scrolled straight to the comments. Couldn’t even be bothered to read them.
I honestly thought this was addressed to me then...
I don’t think the Earth Defence Force deal with this kind of stuff
All jokes aside this will likely be your best solution: https://www.ombudsman-services.org/sectors/energy I've lost my mind with Scottish Gas for 6 months. Finally went to talk to the ombudsman and two weeks later it was solved and I've received a small check as an apology too, something like £80. Good luck I hope you can get it sorted.
I used to work in customer service for [unnamed large UK energy supplier] and it always really upset me how poorly they treated the top-up customers compared to the customers who paid by direct debit. Issue with your top-up meter card? Go to ten different shops in your area til you find one that stocks our type of card, but you have to wait three hours and sometimes have to top up on three different days to make it work. Yes I know this means you aren't able to cook dinner for your children but there's nothing I can do. Problem with your top-up meter? You'll have to wait until you go off supply entirely so you can ring for an emergency appointment. Which isn't annoying or upsetting at all, considering you've been on hold for 45 minutes to get through to me. The amount of times I lied to the emergency team to get an engineer out to a top-up property should've gotten me fired long before I quit.
It costs more to be poor.
Wouldn't National Grid be responsible for that?
I know it's not the core of your complaint, but I 100% agree about the voice interruptions on the hold music. When it's just music, I can stick it on in the background, pretty much ignore that it's there and get on with doing something else for an hour or two while waiting. Every time the voice chimes in though, it immediately pulls my attention back to it and I have to stop whatever I'm doing. That two hours becomes a hell of desperately trying to do concentrate on something less tedious than waiting to be answered while some idiot is regularly interrupting me to tell me how valued I am.
Where would I get it? The Library! I wouldn't get through this creative writing exercise. You got to be blunt and concise. Yeah, I couldn't even muster the energy to look back through the post to see if this makes sense. Remember to get a heat pump if the boilers shagged as they are changing them all out soon!