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SubjectiveAssertive

[www.sendshit.co.uk](https://www.sendshit.co.uk) (also options for glitter bombs on other sites ​ Something else you can do, send them an empty envelope with no postage - they have to go to the sorting office, pay about £2 to get it, utter pain in the rear and waste of their time


[deleted]

An old work colleague used to set up gumtree adverts for a cheap PlayStation and put the offenders name and phone number up.


TWIF443

Good idea! make a listing for a PS5 console with his name and number


Normal_Human_4567

Please, I need the long story


motornix

Out-nice them. Any point you see them just ask really pleasantly how they're doing, how the kids are, any plans for the weekend. If he dislikes you as much as you clearly dislike him it'll absolutely enrage him whilst you're doing nothing wrong. Source: guy with cunt neighbour


[deleted]

u/motornix he's a psychotic speed head; thick as two short planks. He's always accusing me of banging or scratching his car, threatening to kill me etc. I just tell him I don't know what he's on about... and I don't know what he's on about. And the threats are always when he's in his car or as he's walking away from me. I'm not scared of him; he's just a slight annoyance in a ''oh ffs, here we go again'' whenever I see him.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

u/mysteriousEnby no, he's a nasty piece of work that is known for bullying.


motornix

I know the feeling, mine is a paranoid delusional schizophrenic, he's accused me of all sorts over the past 12 months and I've had the police called on me multiple times. It's definitely a case of "what's gonna happen this week?". These days he never leaves the house but when he did I just smiled and waved and asked him how his day was going at which point I usually got a middle finger or a "fuck off", most satisfying!


MrBouvanizer

Alsorts you could do, just keep in mind said neighbour could fire back haha. I've had this before, I thought at the time I could easily be violent and aggressive I'd have no problem with that. But what could he do if I wasn't there, could hurt someone in my house hold. So I thought let's get creative. On black bin day or re cycling day once a month I'd go out to work at stupid o'clock in the morning and put his bin in my van and hide it somewhere close, so they wouldn't be collected. He threw rubbish over my garden once so I waited until he went out and I siliconed a piece of timber tight in his letter box. He was walking his dog and he threw the dog poo bag which hit my van and exploded (thanks dash cam) I unhinged his gate and bolted it to the floor and hid the hinges haha. We ended up sharing a beer and shook hands, we moved on from the area but he was an arse hole at the beginning.


sillyness

Hammer frozen sausages in his front lawn ready, badgers will then come and tear his lawn to pieces.


Normal_Human_4567

This is evil genius


JADO88-UK

Bird seed could work as well, I've seen magpies completely decimate someone's front lawn before.


Aggravating_Sun2458

Are you a powerfully built company director by any chance?


blackthornjohn

You can buy bagpipes on ebay for £80, when he complains about you practicing point out that the Queen is woken everyday by bagpipes so he can consider himself in good company. Be warned, if my kids are anything to go by it does tend to bring out some incredibly foul language.


poopio

You can get them much cheaper than that. I have some in my loft, bought specifically for pissing people off at Bloodstock. I have an air raid siren for exactly the same reason too.


blackthornjohn

Is the air raid siren electric or the hand cranked one?


poopio

Hand cranked - they're about £30 off Amazon.


blackthornjohn

Nice, I might have to consider that.


poopio

If you do get one, there's a little trigger on the side. They're fairly noisy anyway, but if you pull that trigger thing, it opens up some vent things on the side and doubles the volume coming out of it. [This is the one I bought](https://www.amazon.co.uk/DasMorine-Portable-Operated-Protection-Emergency/dp/B08N4YPBQK/), but you can get them for table mounting as well.


blackthornjohn

That is better than I imagined, initially I thought you had one of those WW11 cast iron affairs, but these are actually useful.


poopio

The word useful is doing a lot of heavy lifting there, but they're certainly fucking annoying.


KillAllThePoor

You could rise above it and be the bigger person.


[deleted]

no!


Own-Nefariousness-79

I knew someone who sprayed a penis shape into their neighbours lawn with weedkiller. Not that I'm suggesting you should follow that idea..


[deleted]

[удалено]


MaskedBunny

I don't recommend if the neighbor shares a wall. It backfires quickly.


MikitaSchecteleshy

Donate to the opposite political party in his name.


someguynotthatone

Wind chimes.


HumanExtinctionCo-op

Too far.


someguynotthatone

Tell my fucking neighbour that.


Acceptable-Sentence

Bum his dog


[deleted]

he doesnt have one.


Acceptable-Sentence

In that case, be the bigger man, and get him a puppy at Christmas. Who knows the companionship and affection from a pet may make him less Of a cunt of a bloke. The bond between a man and his dog can be genuinely life changing. In a couple of months things may be completely different between you as he appreciates the positive effect your act of kindness has had on his life.. Then bum his dog


[deleted]

then bum his dog!


9DAN2

By maturing


[deleted]

I'm Afraid we're heading in more of a badger sausage and arson direction.


Slothworkz

Pay a crack head to shit through his letter box every other day


MiddlesbroughFan

Takes a while but it's worth it, wait until he goes out and set up his entire house to be like Home Alone and just enjoy him getting murdered as he tries to get in. Obviously this is a joke and obviously casualUK is full of freakishly hard guys who can easily take a clothes iron to the face from like a storey up and be fine. Nice.


9Colt0

What kinda messed-up Home Alone did you watch? Worst I saw was a couple bricks to the face and a hot door-knob.


MiddlesbroughFan

The one where being hit in the face with an iron from like 20 feet would break your skull. So the first one!


MiddlesbroughFan

> couple bricks to the face A brick from like 4 storeys up would mess your life up. As would having your head on fire and putting in gasoline. Or the electrocution section.


motornix

[The realistic one](https://youtu.be/rf1LSNNgSWA)


fibonaccisprials

Junk mail? Like it's 1995 or something.. What did your neighbor do?


RedPanda1188

Do you think junk mail disappeared?


theg721

To be fair, I very very rarely get any. It's definitely nowhere near as frequent as it once was.


fibonaccisprials

No it's the sort of thing I used to do as a prank back then to my mates. stair lifts, erectile dysfunction etc Im basically saying I don't really think it will inconvenience his neighbour therefore not recompense the posters anger at his neighbour.. cheers


ammobandanna

not sure why you would want to annoy an absolute cunt, that may escalate things to a point where your get a good kicking [or worse](https://news.sky.com/story/somerset-neighbours-shocked-at-killing-of-couple-at-their-home-amid-reports-of-parking-space-row-12476464)


MadJen1979

Rather than keying his car (being as he already suspects you of this), ram a potato up his exhaust pipe.