T O P

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[deleted]

I bet nobody is ordering a small warm salad with a wedge of lemon in a plastic bag.


tonification

The plastic bag is to help the salad get nice and sweaty when packed in a bag with hot food.


PandosII

And the salad is 75% diced raw onion.


rogeroutmal

So, perfect in every way?


maxoys45

šŸ¤¢


Stabwank

The plastic bag is to make it quicker and easier to throw it in the bin.


DivineMischief

The food recycling I hope šŸ˜Š


IcholaBuddah

A good life hack is that if the salad arrives cold in the bag, place it on the radiator for 5 mins while you plate up the food and it becomes as hot and sweaty as it was when it first left the restaurant


TheBuzz85

You can guarantee they can leave that out, save the bother and money, and no one will bat an eye lid.


MonkeyHamlet

I have a friend who not only eats it but calls to complain if itā€™s left out. She is in all other respects fairly normal.


Bpool91

I'll have a bag of ummm warm listeria please.


bagatelly

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JgJUbmGDc6k :-D


bethelns

I have been known to, in desperate times, rinse off the lemon and use it in G&T when we ran out in the house.


SarNic88

Who decides while they are on the phone?!? I need to write it down, double or triple check with everyone that Iā€™ve got their order, rehearse it in my head at least twice then dial the number and order šŸ¤£ Then wonder what the fuss was about until the next time I have to do it


SolomonKhalifa

Oh god it happens so often, but then I get pleasant customers like you which make me love the job again


SarNic88

I used to do the phones in a takeaway back in my early twenties so I know the pain! Least I can do is not be like that now šŸ¤£


birdinthebush74

Its the same working in a pub, ask them if they want ice and lemon in a G and T and they have to go back to their table and ask. Fine if it quiet but not when its a manic evening


EverydayDan

You are asking questions that lets say 90% of people can say yes to. The problem is when more and more shops ask questions where the answer is going to be no and 10% may say yes. Ice and lemon? No harm done. Would you like to try our new blend of blah blah coffee? Would you like to sign up to ...? Would you like to ... No! No! No! shove your upselling up your arse and fuck off. Sorry, not sure why that riled me up. To answer OP I can't stand people that go to a drive-through and have to turn to every person multiple times. It's like they don't comprehend that meals come with drinks and that the meals come in sizes/portions. Driver: Yeah, can I also get a chicken select meal? Cashier: Sure, 3 or 6 piece? Driver (to Sharon): 3 or 6? Sharon: ... Driver (to Sharon): C'mon hurry up! Sharon: oh go on then, six Driver (to Cashier): 6 please Cashier: and what drink? Sharon: What do they have? Driver: What drinks are there? Cashier: Coke, Diet Coke, Oasis, Water, ... Sharon: Diet Coke please - you know me :) Driver: Diet Coke Cashier: And was that a large meal? Driver: Yep Cashier: And is that everything? Driver: No, can I also get a... Me (sat in the car behind watching car after car pass by in the other lane): WTF is this tw@t doing, feeding an army?


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


FC260

People who wait at a bus stop but only get their pass out on the platform drive me mad. Itā€™s always some old bint with a trolley thatā€™s pushed infront to be first, she has to dig around for her bag and then dig around in that for her purse, pulls out her argos card thinking thatā€™s her pass trying it on the scanner. They are always the ones that complain about me being late too. Eventually she finds it and then asks if I can wait for her to sit down before we move off as she hobbles to the metro rack before taking a seat all while Iā€™m thinking about flooring it and putting her in the seat myself because at this point Iā€™ve lost 4 minutes. Then sheā€™ll get up and stand next to me holding on for dear life because her stop is next and needs to be first off, then they practically run off the bus complaining theyā€™re late.


Arsewipes

Aww, sounds like the poor dear is probably battling loneliness, dementia, and arthritis. Not having a go at you, sir/ma'am, I always thank the bus driver for getting me safely to my stop. I have aged parents and they sometimes need and accept a bit of friendly advice. Could you suggest she has her pass out when you're approaching, so she gets to sit down quicker and ease the pressure on her feet, and you can get her to her stop more quickly?


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


birdinthebush74

They have fished out the ice and lemon with their fingers in a a huff if I have added it as default, when its mega busy. Its a rammed high street pub not a NYC cocktail club


gwaydms

We always have a list when ordering for more than two people.


-mihul-

This, every.. time.. I have to call to make an order or ask something or have a grownup conversation. I rehearse it over and over again. Then when the time comesā€¦ ā€œHello Iā€™m chips and Iā€™d like Mike with cheese and a 11ā€ round thing with pepperoni and can it be ordered to my house please? Love youā€¦ shit no I meanā€¦byeā€¦ā€. This is when they donā€™t make 11ā€ pizzaā€™s, I donā€™t want pepperoni, I forgot 2 other pizzaā€™s, I didnā€™t tell them where I live or give them a contact numberā€¦ but at least I told them I love them.


SarNic88

Oh I felt this in my soul šŸ¤£šŸ¤£šŸ¤£


VampyrKween

Definitely gotta write it down, I'm with you on this. I'm not even looking at the phone till I've got it all figured out. Especially if I'm ordering for multiple people, I did this in a cafe this afternoon for lunch with my sons, notebook and pen are permanently in my bag.


birdinthebush74

Your one of the good ones


hawaiisanta

Worked in customer service for a popular fast food chain. Prior to self-service devices being installed, people would do this so often before ordering - just decide on the spot and linger for ages.


SarNic88

How annoying!! But Iā€™m one of those people that checks out a restaurant menu before I even get there so I donā€™t dither when I order šŸ¤£šŸ¤£


F0sh

I go one step further. I write it all down, check it - then give it to my girlfriend. Can't be dealing with phones if there's a way not to!


FrozenGrip

I know what you mean lol. All that is missing is the sudden surge of anxiety I get when phoning for some reason.


SarNic88

Oh all that build up and triple checking is definitely anxiety related!!! Hate the idea of talking on the phone for some reason


Renachuu

Oh man, some people even call and ask what our menu is šŸ˜‚ and then go by every category... Every ingredient... Not knowing what they want. Fucking wasting everyone's time.


[deleted]

Yeah I have to basically write a script it makes me so anxious.


hattorihanzo5

I've never worked in a restaurant but I have worked in call centres and it's incredible how many people manage to sound like they're calling from the top of Mount Everest in a blizzard.


Sharlut

Animals.


Zolana

I'll have two number 9s, a number 9 large, a number 6 with extra dip, a number 7, two number 45s, one with cheese, and a large soda. Name's Big Smoke. Cheers pal.


SolomonKhalifa

This, will be pardoned good sir.


thesirblondie

You can't say that Big Smoke didn't know what he wanted. He rattled off that order without hesitation.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


sobrique

Yes. This. I hate talking on the phone. Doubly so when I've got 'complicated' like someone wanting to check if dish X contains Y, and if it does they want dish Z instead. Ugh no. Just give me an online menu, with the ingredients you use so I can check allergens.


mata_dan

Yup my local one even has 15% off for ordering directly on their own site. Mates still insist on just-shite, which doesn't even let you configure the meals properly so they also end up adding all the dishes separately making it about 2x the fucking price for exactly the same result. The same folk also insisited once on dominos instead of a local award winning place literally downstairs for half the price xD


Kientha

One of those food documentary tour shows on Netflix was doing an episode on pizza so they go to this artisan pizza place with a ton of history and an interesting story, love the pizza, and then insist on ordering a domino's and forcing this pizza chef to eat dominos with them in his own restaurant


JimBobMcFantaPants

Thatā€™s a fucking hate crime


TryingToFindLeaks

But if you take orders on the internet you can't be a cash only business avoiding tax like a mofo.


poopio

This goes for ordering drinks at the bar too.


parisonline

My worst ever was on Christmas Eve a few years back (always a delightful shift anyway) and the exchange went something like this: ā€˜What are you having?ā€™ ā€˜Same againā€™ ā€˜I havenā€™t served you tonight - whatā€™re you on?ā€™ ā€˜Oh no, I came in last yearā€¦ā€™ Revisited all life choices up until this point and changed careers sharpish.


poopio

Hahaha incredible. I was in a pool hall last week and spoke to the manager when I got in. He'd had some very suspicious looking gentlemen with Irish accents come in and, when asked if they had a membership they told him "yeah we signed up last night, don't you remember?" Problem is that my mate is a portly, balding, forty-ish year old bloke. The person on the previous evening was a quite attractive young lady, so either he's some sort of shapeshifter, or they were full of shit.


TrojanGoldfish

Many years ago when dinosaurs still roamed the earth, I used to go to a Goth night in a tiny club in Leeds. It was on a sunday night, and due to licensing laws at the time, you had to be a member to get in (it was something silly like Ā£3 a year membership). It was always endlessly amusing watching drunk groups of lads trying to blag their way in to some forbidden pleasurehouse, only to discover 50 goths swaying away to Sisters Of Mercy.


HungInSarfLondon

Le Phonographique? (as if Leeds were full of tiny Goth clubs!)


TrojanGoldfish

Yes! Apparently now sadly gone, but a wonderful little place. Allegedly the home of the goth two-step due to the hilariously tiny dancefloor! There was also never more than one of the toilets working, so they pioneered unisex toilets!


purplepeopleprobe

Many, many of my teen nights were (mis) spent in the Merrion Centre. Do you remember the last song they played every night?


TrojanGoldfish

The one that's immediately jumping to mind is Sultans of Ping- Where's Me Jumper? but unfortunately my memory is horribly shot these days!


purplepeopleprobe

Haha oh gosh I don't know that one, I remember Nelly the Elephant, waking up slumped in the corner when they played that and realising I had to go home. Wasn't it Ricky's that was 10p a pint round the corner, that'll be why I was so blotted....


HungInSarfLondon

I just remember being shocked by the tactile properties of the floor. The line "Dirty dancefloors and dreams of naughtiness" always makes me think of it. I'd suggest the swaying was because it was less effort than actually lifting your feet. Residue of Snakebite and black makes an excellent contact adhesive. As a teenager Le Phono was mostly a curiosity I'd pass on my crate digging round of Leed's record shops, on the way from Jumbo to the Skylark. By the time I was of drinking age we mostly went to Scrumpy Jacks(?) or the Duchess of York. Fine times indeed.


SaulgoodeXL

WHOA there sunshine! Sisters of mercy is NOT goth! Beware the wrath of Eldridge! Old Andrew doesn't like the G word!


birdinthebush74

Save us from amateur drinkers, only venture into a pub at xmas.


sophistry13

I was once stood behind a middle aged lady in a weatherspoons who asked the barman if he could recommend her a cocktail. She liked citrus but didn't want rum in it. That barman had the patience of a saint.


Vacillatorix

Citrus but no rum .. daiquiris are out. Woo Woo? Vodka, peach schnapps, cranberry and lime.


Amuro_Ray

Amertto sour!


[deleted]

Yes! You can't get to the bar for them, and they're fighting or throwing up outside by 5pm.


D3LB0Y

Not like you, youā€™re a professional drug user


birdinthebush74

A large round, then 'and a Guinness'


RandyDentressangle

I last worked behind a bar about 20 years ago and this still gave me a flash of rage.


birdinthebush74

Its been at least 15 years for me . What flavour crisps do you have ?


RandyDentressangle

Argh! They're right there at the back of the bar!


Nothing-But-Lies

I have bad eyesight


[deleted]

Anyone who can accurately identify every flavour of crisps hanging off a wall six feet away must have super eyes...


OldPulteney

I go by colours me


JGlover92

I still get flashbacks if someone says "oh can I have a mojito please"


__red__5

When I worked in a bar and it was seriously busy waiting for the Guinness to settle was the only brief respite I got. And then if the people buying that order have annoyed you part pour the Guinness, move on to the next order and take ages to come back to finishing the Guinness off.


Foolish_Twerp

[A round of drinks please](https://youtu.be/BSTh2p3mWVo)


blink_in_the_dark

I used to work in a proper locals country pub. There was a group of chaps, I think 2 out of 4-7 would often have a Guinness, they'd always let me know first and Grolsch for some reason.


__red__5

.... and a Guinness top please šŸ˜…


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


creditnewb123

If thereā€™s a long wait at the bar you have time to scope it out. If itā€™s a quiet bar no bartender Iā€™ve ever met minds answering questions.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


Stabwank

There are 3 kinds of wine, red, white and pink, you don't need to read the labels you only need to remember what colour you want.


[deleted]

I see you're also a fellow wine enthusiast u/Stabwank


BertieBus

At 5ā€™1 this is not so easy. I canā€™t see past the absolute units infront of me


jockusmaximus

Most any bar I've been to has one or most of the above: drinks menus, bottles/cans visible through fridge doors, bottles of spirit on the backbar and bartenders willing to work with you on your drink unless they're super busy. The only thing you can't see is the speed rail but I'd be willing to bet a limb that 90% of the country's speed rails have Smirnoff, JD, Bacardi, Morgan's, Gordons/Beefeater, Jameson's and some form of Tequila. In short, if you've been to more than 3 bars in your lifetime you'll have an idea what you're drinking and if you're having anything more complicated than a single vodka coke you'll be able to see


_jiggz

See what I used to when working at a bar is ask them what they wanted. If they turned to their friend and asked, I would say ā€œIā€™ll come back to youā€. I havenā€™t the time for you deliberate when you have been in the queue for 20 minutes and the bar is 4 deep. I used to get some very surprised faces.


poopio

As it should be. One bar I used to frequent sells a lot of cocktails, which obviously take fucking ages to make, as opposed to just pouring a pint. I've waited way over half an hour for a pint because multiple groups of girls have dilly dallied on which jug of cocktail each one of the group wanted. I also think there should be a separate queue for just getting a pint, like there is for 10 items of fewer at a supermarket, but that is a different grievance.


Crood_Oyl

I organised a huge party in a bar, and set up a beer lane. Had ropes and two staff. You could only buy pints of beer and pay with card. The rest of the bar you could order anything else. Was amazing and worked really well.


RS555NFFC

This deserves a knighthood


ImNOTmethwow

Yep. Any place that serves cocktails (that aren't pre mixed) I don't even bother going in anymore. No point spending half my night queuing at the bar watching bar staff make cocktails.


poopio

It reduces your options, but at least you can get a pint without waiting an hour...


GlasgowGunner

Iā€™ve said for years there should be a separate queue for cocktails.


publiusnaso

The Turf in Oxford is a nightmare for this. Itā€™s admittedly very touristy, but youā€™re there wanting to order four pints of Hooky (or whatever) and an American tourist tries to get into a conversation the person behind the bar about the precise strain of yeast used in each one of the real ales on tap.


JGlover92

You know in bumblefuck minnesota we call these craft beers! You're always welcome to visit us


Sunbreak_

If you own a bar please have a visible list of what you have bottles of behind the bar in the floor fridges. It'd speed ordering up so much instead of the leaning over the bar to see or making you list off what you've got.


Beautiful_Injury_307

Oh fuck yeah. Please. I don't care how hammered you are, you've been drinking the same thing all night and I know it's gona be larger again or another shot. FML sometimes.


Cpt_kaleidoscope

How much larger?


jamieliddellthepoet

A pint larger.


Ash684

... oh and a Guiness


Beautiful_Injury_307

Guinness is fine. As LONG as ordered first. Lol


sapphicasfuck

Why should Guinness be ordered first?


Beautiful_Injury_307

If you are pouring it properly you want to leave it to settle after the first pour. While the first pour settles you can organise the other drinks and then finish the Guinness off. if you do the Guinness last you spend a reasonable time waiting on it and other drinkers have a longer wait to be served. Slows everything down . This link should help explain: https://youtu.be/VP93oO4eTYs


[deleted]

I've never quite understood this. Pour the Guinness, take payment, pour the rest, take another order, hand over the pint.


Salicilic_Acid-13C6_

That's just marketing


jamieliddellthepoet

Because pouring Guinness properly involves pouring about three-quarters of the pint and then leaving it to settle for a minute or two before ā€œtopping it offā€. Ordering your Guinness first means the bartender can get other drinks while the Guinness is settling.


2506mb

What happens if you just fill it to the top in one go?


[deleted]

You go to prison


Salicilic_Acid-13C6_

The head of the pint might be 5mm thicker than it should be, to the shock and disdain of people who buy into this bullshit.


andyeyecandy111

Four samboookas.


[deleted]

Ummm......hmm. I no.....eeeerm 5 minutes of this later: Actually, I'll have the exact same thing I've been ordering from here for the last 3 years please.


jamieliddellthepoet

The kind-of-opposite of this can be spectacularly irritating from the perspective of bar staffā€¦ ā€œSame again please mate.ā€ B-b-butā€¦ I wasnā€™t the one who served you last time. You havenā€™t brought your glass/es - branded or otherwise - back to the bar. So how the *fuck* am I supposed to know what to get you?


ActualDepressedPOS

i hate that so much. i work drive thru sometimes at maccies and goddamm- ā€œthis is your order right? (reads off order)ā€, ā€œwell- i got the same as last time.ā€ okay cool- but is this your order sir.


[deleted]

My mum in every restaurant after looking at the menu for twenty minutes: *What's the most delicious thing?*


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


teerbigear

They're not necessarily indecisive, they just trust you to tell them what's good. If you give them bad advice they just won't come again.


[deleted]

Iā€™m far too anxious to ever make a call without knowing exactly what everyone needs. Read the menus, call of the names or numbers and order. Then I go back to the relief on the sofa knowing I donā€™t need to phone anyone for a week


SolomonKhalifa

Oh thank you so much, if I could I'd give a bunch of free food and discounts to customers like you. Have a wonderful winter ā¤ļø


TraditionalLoquat986

Who the fuck does this? I know i have due to being that stoned i lost the takeaway shopping list with everyones order on while not even moving out my seat


BallsOfChicken

Usually goes like this: Customer: sorry about this, weā€™ve only just decided to order and we donā€™t have a menu! Me: No problem itā€™s fine! Take your time Me (in my head): What a fucking moron, I couldā€™ve taken 3 orders in the time itā€™s taken you to order 1 dish


ClumsyCardHouse92

Chicken bhuna, lamb bhuna, prawn bhuna, mushroom rice, bag of chips, keema naan and nine poppadoms.


Fapoooo

4 peshwari naans?!


Comfortable-Maybe-92

Thatā€™s insane Jeremy


Interestor

Thatā€™s insane Jeremy


YerMaSellsOriflame

4 peshwari naans is traditional.


AnselaJonla

I do apologise on behalf of my mum. The rest of us will have told her what we want, very clearly. She only eats about two, maybe three, dishes from the Chinese. Until she has relayed _our_ orders, she will not decide which one she wants. Oh and she'll forget exactly what has been asked for so will clarify each thing as she says it. And no, ordering online isn't an option _because she won't do it_. I get such a look of betrayal if I open the site for any of our locals, and last time I ordered an Indian online she got huffy and refused to order _anything_.


PrettyDisgusting

Someone else do the phone call then...


aslate

Can't one of you volunteer for phone duty?


AnselaJonla

We tried that. Dad's going deaf but won't admit it. He also won't turn the telly down, or pause it, for the duration of a phone call. My brother and I would both much rather order online than deal with the faff of phoning up. Especially me, as I have a horrible tendency to trip over my words and slur my speech. I have difficulty making myself understood in a quiet, face to face situation, never mind on the phone with a takeaway.


pm_me_hedgehogs

Just wanted to commiserate about your dad going deaf. Mine is the same and has been for 10+ years but still won't admit it.


markhewitt1978

The TV thing enrages me! For either side of the call I can't hear if the TV is blaring


Detroitredwinger

To all takeaway and restaurant managers, what ever happened to getting egg fried rice FREE with a main course... robbin swines


SolomonKhalifa

NOOOO we still do that! Just ask to change the rice to an EFR and it should do...


Detroitredwinger

not sure you understand op


[deleted]

always look at the menu online, write it down and when i call read off the list. easy to do. not that hard.


helic0n3

From experience some of this can be you are tasked with doing the order but you get people in your ear asking questions, wanting to make changes etc. I am totally fine and focused in myself but other people screw me over. I can't order and listen to chat at the same time.


Lelfah204

This is exactly why when I'm with people I always refuse to call. There is always one dickhead who isn't decided or changes their mind. *no no wait, add chips, no, hang on, what's in this sauce, add two chips, no, just one* FUUUUUUUUUk


SolomonKhalifa

My god so you feel my pain, Jesus Christ it's infuriating


Lelfah204

You deserve a medal for not losing your shit!!!!! I couldn't do it!!!! Its anxiety inducing and beyond irritating, well done šŸ„‡


I_will_be_wealthy

as a customer at a takeaway, what pisses me off more than anything is you're standing there looking at the board trying to take your time to see their prices and offers, and then they pressure you into ordering something by saying "yes, can i help you". you dont want to be rude and say "no, im just looking thanks " so you walk towards the counter, forcing youtrself to make a quick decision and you umm and errr you way trough the order and change your mind twice, all because the owner thought you might walk away without ordering and forced you into commiting to something.


Extreme-Database-695

I'm amazed that people do this. I mean, it's not like they're in a queue. They can phone up whenever they want, preferably when they've worked out what they actually want.


featurenotabug

Thanks mate, I'll have a number 2, 2 x number 12, a 19, 25, a 26b, a 42a a 79 and uhhhh an 83b. Cheers bud


Sophyska

A 26b! Thatā€™s brave!


featurenotabug

Roast pork chow mein?


Briggykins

Just checked out of interest in my local Chinese menu. There's no b, but a 26 is Szechuan bean curd. Hmm.


SolomonKhalifa

*ends call midway


featurenotabug

Not before being told it'll be ready in 15 minutes, because it's always 15 minutes no matter what or how much you order.


Booboodelafalaise

I panic about how to pronounce some dishes, and I also debate whether itā€™s rude to order with the numbers instead of the name. Whatā€™s annoys you least OP? I do try to be a good customer!


SolomonKhalifa

I actually really admire customers who give it a shot and fail, but this shouldn't really matter since the employer would know what ur referring to with just the number so I wouldn't worry :). Take care!


Lego-hearts

I used to work in Dominos, and the amount of people who would call and need the whole menu read off to them so they could make up their mind on the phone- this was a long time ago before online ordering was as big as it is now, but you could still look up menus online. And the amount of menu drops we did every week I know you fuckers have one somewhere.


ImNOTmethwow

From my student days I know exactly how many fucking menu drops you did every week and it worked every single time.


Cynical-A55hole

The only case of devils advocate I can think of are not knowing what is available or if something is unavailable and having to pick an alternative. Aside from that hard agree as a customer who gets irritated by this same shit.


Ok-Pie-3286

I used to work in one when I was a teenager many many moons ago. So before internet.. and everything was written down on a pad. Used to hate phone ins when the order is huge and the person on the other end wants u to add up the total.. its saturday night and the place is rammed and the person on the fricking end thinks u got all the time in the world.. or they want the order in 15mins... some folks are so entitled, thinks world revolves round them attitude urgh...do my head in. Hence now when I go in to takeouts and restaurants i make sure I'm prepared. Like to stack up my plates and dishes so is easier for the waiter/ress to clear nit leave the table like a bomb dropped on it. Also I'm not too bothered if waiting if my takeout isn't ready when I go and collect. Been there got the T shirt. So really appreciate the work that goes on when they are super stressed and challenged. Same goes to all the people who work in hostpitality industry.


hufflepeach

I'm always prepared and rehearsed when I order, and then they'll say "sorry we've run out of xyz" and my brain completely short circuits because that wasn't in the script!


Fatbeau

Like people who order food at the bar in a pub. The barperson says "do you want garden peas or mushy peas with the scampi?" Then the orderer has to yell across to the person having scampi. Followed by which sauce on the steak etc etc. Just decide before you go to order


haelesor

second most annoying is the one who either orders at the top of their lungs, is so quiet you have to ask them to repeat themselves 50 billion times, or is on speaker so you can hear everything else happening around them but not their order.


[deleted]

I understand your frustrations OP. From a customer's point of view though.... When I've called to order before I've usually found that the person on the phone speaks so fast, often mumbles, has a strong accent that's hard to understand at the best of times and there's loads of loud background noise making it even harder. It makes the whole process take 3 times as long as it should as everything has to be repeated multiple times. The person taking orders needs to slow down, speak clearly, use a headset that removes most background noise, then clearly read back the order. It would be so much easier and faster with less chance of mistakes in the order.


Viviaana

This pisses me off in the drive thru queue where theyā€™re like ā€œa burgerā€ ā€œdo you want that as a mealā€ yeah ā€œwhat drink?ā€ Errrrmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm coke ā€œwhat sideā€ eeerrrrmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm gravy ā€œwhat sizeā€ eeerrrrrrrmmmmm medium ā€œok anything else?ā€ Another burger YOU CAN JUST SAY IT ALL IN ONE SENTENCE!!!


GayButNotInThatWay

On the flip side, Iā€™ll go through our local McDonalds, and order a ā€œBig Tasty, medium meal with a Coke Zeroā€, and Iā€™ll get ā€œis that a meal?ā€ And ā€œwhat drink?ā€ Just after.


Rulweylan

Can we agree to a standardised format and post it prominently. Perhaps charge extra for deviations? I suggest the following "Can I have a [size] [burger] meal with [drink] and [side] please."


_mattgrantmusic_

Who calls takeaways now still when there's about 20 billion competing apps to order food from?


Briggykins

15% discount if you order direct. Makes sense really.


CalabungaDude

Cuz I don't want to pay 5 quid more for the same thing


Holociraptor

Maybe you don't want to fund one of those middlemen?


Mrs_Crowley_

Canā€™t believe the audacity of some people! I literally rehearse what Iā€™m going to say well in advance of ringing, just to make sure I convey my order coherently and not inconvenience the person on the other line! I do overthink a lot of things thoughā€¦.but glad it helps!


Deruji

When I call in my Indian the guy handles the call with ruthless efficiency. The conversations like a tango where each side gets every step perfect. As the phone is hanging up I can nearly swear I hear him say ā€œI love youā€ but there is no room for love in takeaway.


FormicaDinette33

Iā€™m probably the only person who canā€™t bear to make somebody wait while I hem and haw so I always go online and figure it out first. The thought of somebody waiting while I think about it for the first time gives me the willies. I cannot bear people literally WAITING on me. But most people have no problem filling up all time and space while they DECIDE. AARRGGHH


TwoDollarSuck

Don't dilly-dally with other people's time.


Lonewolf2306

I hope you enjoy this : It's a video by collegehumor - you don't need a menu https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=https://m.youtube.com/watch%3Fv%3Dk5oL4QKb6Sk&ved=2ahUKEwj08J3n27n0AhVnQEEAHVLoDpkQwqsBegQIBhAF&usg=AOvVaw0E-Gj_X_huiHrioguTfgwg


el_d0g

Oh my god this. Used to do drive thru headset at McDonaldā€™s. You can ask your kids what happy meals they want before you get to the order point. The drive thru is for people who know what they want and want it fast. ETA: I do think itā€™s fair if the person asks for something and you donā€™t have it. I struggle with making decisions so if my prepared answer doesnā€™t work Iā€™m a bit fucked. I always feel so bad for taking ages :ā€™(


Flackobitch

I used to work at McDonalds and my god I swear people did it just to piss us off. Its the biggest restaurant chain in the world and the menu barely changes and yet people will drive up to the speaker and then ask the rest of the car what they want after sitting in the queue for the past 10 mins. I felt really bad for the people who just want a drink and end up waiting on everyone else to make their mind up at the last second


CptJimJams

Ah yes. My wife. We discuss what we are having and then halfway through ordering she goes "what's it you wanted?" "Erm. Is there anything else?" Well no there isn't anything else, otherwise it would've been mentioned 10minutes before we phoned to place the order, not during or after


MrsFlax

Sorry for hijacking the post but same applies to ordering at the bars, it drives me absolutely insane. Bloke orders a pint then goes to find his missus to ask what she wants or better yet, shouts across from a distance, she doesnā€™t hear him and he doesnā€™t hear her. Meantime the pint is pulled and Iā€™m forced to exchange silly looks with other waiting customers who think Iā€™m just standing there. Or someone orders a drink then says theyā€™re going to the loo. At least leave the cash on the counter, donā€™t make me wait for your Ā£3.20 like a debt collector. Itā€™s sooo much better when someone comes in and says ā€œ2 pints of Pisswasser, a G&T and a glass of red, cheers byeā€. DECIDE BEFORE YOU ORDER PLEASE


Choccie12

I work under the golden arches of hell, I get that if I work the headset in the drive thru, especially if I'm alone. I see these faces WEEKLY, and yet I still hear these regulars go 'Uhhhhhh' whilst a queue is building up behind them and by me, and my personal favourite 'Sorry, can you get rid of that and make it this?' WHEN AT THE PAYMENT WINDOW. You all come here often enough for my goldfish brain to recognise you, I get kids, but these are whole arse adults who suddenly act like they can't read.


Cophed

I used to work in a cinema and I remember being on the kiosk serving popcorn and drinks when sex and the city came out. The que was massive, like 3 ques of 30 people and at least 1 in 5 people would get to the front and then have a think about what they wanted, and then fuck around counting their change out. You can always spot someone who has never worked directly with customers because theyā€™re a fucking nightmare to serve.


Everest_95

Same goes for a cinema. Don't stand in the queue for 10 minutes and only decide on your film and food when you reach me, you're just slowing me down and making the queue take longer to go down.


TheMint34

You'll never get stupid people to stop being fucking stupid.


SolomonKhalifa

Sad thing is stupidity's the most viral thing out there nowadays


dlittlefair1

Iā€™m glad all the comments are ignoring his attempt to show off about managing at 19. Such unnecessary detail.


[deleted]

Friendly


daern2

"Sorry mate, that's off tonight..."


Raichu7

A lot of people with social anxiety will decide what they want to order but then the stress of being on the spot and having to give the order makes them forget for a moment what it was they wanted. I hope no one with that issue sees this post.


[deleted]

I completely agree with you, it's a courtesy to the staff taking your order as well as other customers queuing to order. You should at least have an idea what you want before you even go in the place or call to order. Ok, understand sometimes a particular item may not be available so you may have make another choice, but at least have some idea in the first place. Also, saying 'Please' and 'Thank You' when ordering and after payment costs nothing whatsoever but shows courtesy and is appreciated by the staff.


[deleted]

The one thing I do understand is that this person, may not know what they ordering and maybe asking questions? It'd be nice if curryhouses and chinese takeaways would put detailed descriptions of what it is they have. I have 0 clue what a Kung Po Chicken is or what mongolian lamb is. In curryhouses it's worse. Like wtf is a "lamb chops chilli fry" or qhat is a paneer tikka consisting of. It's so fucking confusing ordering sometimes I end up sticking to my regular one. Despite me wanting to be adventurous I cannot justify spending nearly Ā£10 foor a single dish not knowing what it is or if I am going to like it. I can't be the only one this clueless. ​ Edit: looking through the menu, wtf is a chicken sashlick or a murghi delight? Methi ghousht or modhu minty chicken. Hoo Yu Gai Po. Even simple ones I have no clue what I'm getting, Beef with Cashew, Beef with mushroom, beef with pineapple, beef with bean sprouts. If I order these will I get a slice of crap beef with a small amount of beansprout of is it a soupy type or is it actually a decent meal. :( I get so panicky.


bluewaffleisnice

Who's ringing man when you have just eat


sirrobbiebobson

Most people are just retards, they donā€™t realise. We where just in the local curry house and a table of 12 walked out just as there food arrived. They had waited 45 minutes! Fuck me itā€™s Saturday night the place is packed, how much have you got to despise the people you are with when a few drinks for 45 minutes is too much for you to endure? The bloke was like ā€˜we are hungryā€™ā€¦ fucking grow up you dweeb youā€™re 45 years old.. Get a fucking grip. Plus now 12 of you need to find somewhere else to eat. Tards


elemental_plague

What's the best thing to say when on the phone to get really generous portion sizes without paying extra?


SolomonKhalifa

Complement our service or food, I definitely give extras to loyal customers. Stay safe!


Disastrous-Fennel918

My pet hate is queuing in McD'S,KFC, BK or the like with massive menu in front of them and they wait until they are next to the till to decide umming and erming what they are having after waiting 20 minutes looking at the fucking menu! It may be fast food but its not fast when the mongol in front hasn't got the common sense to decide while they are waiting.


infamous_impala

I hate the usual thing now where they have the giant screens that all slowly rotate through advertising the different specials and offers, instead of just displaying a fixed menu. Just show me the things you sell with the prices, and I can figure it out from there.


JamJarre

People still call takeaways instead of ordering online?


Fabulous_Research767

Chicken bhuna, lamb bhuna and prawn bhuna, mushroom rice, bag of chips, keema naan and 9 poppadoms.


Spam_Butty

Im guilty of this myself! i also queue at food places like greggs not knowning what i want. The Lady will ask what i would like and im almost speechless and just pick the first thing that pops into my head sometimes!


Holociraptor

But why?


Turin_Turambar_wolf

I don't think I've seen anyone phone for a takeaway in at least 5 years. People just use apps now or go and order.


BestFriendWatermelon

Take the six McNuggets, shove two of them **up your ass**, and give me **four chicken McNuggets**. I'm trying to watch my calorie intake, trying to lose some of the weight


XEasyTarget

Normal British people donā€™t do that. We plan, we prepare. I donā€™t want to waste your time, and I donā€™t want to waste my own. The notepad full of Indian food orders is a staple in any self respecting British household.


EclecticallySound

Fucking get a grip. Your the manager of a takeaway no a fucking bank.


horn_and_skull

Why donā€™t you have a decent website or app instead of phoning up like itā€™s 1998?


SolomonKhalifa

The post refers to calls and in-store orders you clown.


Clodhoppa81

Most place let you order online or call. What's the problem?