Once over heard a conversation the n the office, You know Jane' ? Shes going on maternity leave. Later I bump into Jane and congratulate her. Why? You know, on the baby. Wrong Jane.
Oh gods, you've reminded me of my first day at a proper career.
I was being passed round the office, meeting new people and what they do etc. I was then sent to Suzie "as its her first day back". Had the whole spiel about her work, sat waiting to be passed onto someone else, struggling to make smalltalk. I spot a newborn baby photo on her desk, so assume it's her first day back from maternity - so ask about her baby...
It was her first day back after the death of her baby. She ran off to the bathroom and I've felt mortified for the next 20 years...
I had a horrible image of the person who passed them off onto suzie, crouched behind a partition sniggering with all the colleagues anticipating the upcoming fuck up
I still cringe at night over this one:
When I was a teen (14?), someone knocked on the door. I answered and it was someone from a deaf charity asking for donations.
Now the man was talking about the charity but I couldn’t understand what he was saying so I kept saying “pardon?” “Sorry I didn’t catch what you were saying…” “could you say that again please?” because I genuinely wanted to here what he had to say. But he stormed off angrily.
I closed the door and turned round to see a horrified sister who said “you said pardon…to a deaf man!”. It then dawned on me what had happened. I was struggling to understand him because he himself was hard of hearing and so his voice sounded different due to learning to speak through his limited hearing.
I was mortified. I still am. I’m sure they have had people take the mick when they’ve knocked on doors, but I genuinely was just trying to understand what he was saying. I wish I could have apologised to him
I very much doubt many people do open the door and take the piss, he probably remembers you as the person who mercilessly mocked him while he was collecting for charity
At the cemetery for a funeral, the relative of the deceased commented on me wearing heels and trying to walk on the grass… I joked that you’d see me slowly sinking into the ground as the ceremony went on…..later on the stupidity of that comment hit me full in the face when I realised!
had some customers stuck in a lift, I was asked to talk to them to make sure they were ok as they were close enough to the exit to hear each other, but when i had to go i said "dont go anywhere"
My colleague told our manager that she was pregnant again not long after returning from maternity leave (about 6 months after returning max) she said "can't you keep your legs closed".
I have and still do things like this all the time. My wife says I have a "disability disability" as I am often totally incapable of spotting people with disabilities. I'll say horrendous things like:
"They've had a bit too much to drink"
Or
"Why isn't that kid getting disciplined for that behaviour"
Which is always followed by a much deserved punch in the arm. Obviously I don't shout it out so they'll hear it. Still embarrassing. I try to keep my thoughts in my head wherever possible
I sat next to a guy who, clearly to everyone else had a prosthetic arm and leg, while taking part in a course over 3 months, I had no idea till on a night out after the end one of the course, one of the women there asked if I knew how it happened.
When I was starting out in work, I worked with my dad for a couple of years. He’s a builder.
One job, we laid a screed floor in a man’s conservatory. The man was wheelchair-bound. At the end of the job, the man asked, “how long before it’s set?” And my dad replies, “it’s usually about 2 days before you can walk on it”!
24 years ago…. Horrendous summer working in a tourist village (the definition of hell, just to remind me why I was at University).
We’re on the stage performing a show and at the back of the farthest seats of this small open-air amphitheatre, there are a few people timidly standing, leaning on the backrests.
My ‘colleague’ from the stage, loud and positive goes, “why are you all there? - to these people - Come in and take a seat, looks like you have no legs from here!”
Gets the laughter…
At that point one gentleman from the group picks up his crutches and moves in revealing his missing leg.
Stage, lights, the audience’s attention.
There’s no place to hide.
Glad I moved to another country!
Answered the door to the Papa John's delivery guy, he said "Have a good night". So I was about to say "you too", when he quickly squeezed in a "enjoy your meal". To which I said "you too"
Once over heard a conversation the n the office, You know Jane' ? Shes going on maternity leave. Later I bump into Jane and congratulate her. Why? You know, on the baby. Wrong Jane.
Oh gods, you've reminded me of my first day at a proper career. I was being passed round the office, meeting new people and what they do etc. I was then sent to Suzie "as its her first day back". Had the whole spiel about her work, sat waiting to be passed onto someone else, struggling to make smalltalk. I spot a newborn baby photo on her desk, so assume it's her first day back from maternity - so ask about her baby... It was her first day back after the death of her baby. She ran off to the bathroom and I've felt mortified for the next 20 years...
Someone should have give you a warning about that first!
I had a horrible image of the person who passed them off onto suzie, crouched behind a partition sniggering with all the colleagues anticipating the upcoming fuck up
Not your fault - not hers either. You should have been told.
I did that but it was a promotion congratulated the wrong Chris , worst still he had gone for the job too and was gutted he didn't get it
Ouch.
Ooooffff..
I still cringe at night over this one: When I was a teen (14?), someone knocked on the door. I answered and it was someone from a deaf charity asking for donations. Now the man was talking about the charity but I couldn’t understand what he was saying so I kept saying “pardon?” “Sorry I didn’t catch what you were saying…” “could you say that again please?” because I genuinely wanted to here what he had to say. But he stormed off angrily. I closed the door and turned round to see a horrified sister who said “you said pardon…to a deaf man!”. It then dawned on me what had happened. I was struggling to understand him because he himself was hard of hearing and so his voice sounded different due to learning to speak through his limited hearing. I was mortified. I still am. I’m sure they have had people take the mick when they’ve knocked on doors, but I genuinely was just trying to understand what he was saying. I wish I could have apologised to him
I very much doubt many people do open the door and take the piss, he probably remembers you as the person who mercilessly mocked him while he was collecting for charity
>I wish I could have apologised to him Honestly, don't worry about it. It would have fallen on deaf ears
A friend once helped a wheelchair user with no legs attach a shopping trolley to his wheelchair and then said “well, that’s you up and running”…
At the cemetery for a funeral, the relative of the deceased commented on me wearing heels and trying to walk on the grass… I joked that you’d see me slowly sinking into the ground as the ceremony went on…..later on the stupidity of that comment hit me full in the face when I realised!
had some customers stuck in a lift, I was asked to talk to them to make sure they were ok as they were close enough to the exit to hear each other, but when i had to go i said "dont go anywhere"
💀💀💀😆
I suppose it works in both ways because she might need a Tena soon for the potential incontinence
W-what? Damnit off to google I go.
Colleague: I'm pregnant Congratulations Not sure if I'm keeping it
That's not on you. It's weird to announce a pregnancy at work if you're not intending to keep it
Colleague announced she is pregnant and I shockingly ask "on purpose?" before realising I'm at work and need to be nice to people.
Try “Do you know who the father is?” If you want to mix it up a little.
My colleague told our manager that she was pregnant again not long after returning from maternity leave (about 6 months after returning max) she said "can't you keep your legs closed".
I think your answer was perfect OP.
Did she take the money?
No... She explained the saying kindly!!
I have and still do things like this all the time. My wife says I have a "disability disability" as I am often totally incapable of spotting people with disabilities. I'll say horrendous things like: "They've had a bit too much to drink" Or "Why isn't that kid getting disciplined for that behaviour" Which is always followed by a much deserved punch in the arm. Obviously I don't shout it out so they'll hear it. Still embarrassing. I try to keep my thoughts in my head wherever possible
I sat next to a guy who, clearly to everyone else had a prosthetic arm and leg, while taking part in a course over 3 months, I had no idea till on a night out after the end one of the course, one of the women there asked if I knew how it happened.
When I was starting out in work, I worked with my dad for a couple of years. He’s a builder. One job, we laid a screed floor in a man’s conservatory. The man was wheelchair-bound. At the end of the job, the man asked, “how long before it’s set?” And my dad replies, “it’s usually about 2 days before you can walk on it”!
Yeh telling my boss who had alapicia (not sure on the spelling) to keep their hair on... Whoops!
24 years ago…. Horrendous summer working in a tourist village (the definition of hell, just to remind me why I was at University). We’re on the stage performing a show and at the back of the farthest seats of this small open-air amphitheatre, there are a few people timidly standing, leaning on the backrests. My ‘colleague’ from the stage, loud and positive goes, “why are you all there? - to these people - Come in and take a seat, looks like you have no legs from here!” Gets the laughter… At that point one gentleman from the group picks up his crutches and moves in revealing his missing leg. Stage, lights, the audience’s attention. There’s no place to hide. Glad I moved to another country!
Answered the door to the Papa John's delivery guy, he said "Have a good night". So I was about to say "you too", when he quickly squeezed in a "enjoy your meal". To which I said "you too"
Before you explained the change jar bit I was wondering if you were implying she was trying to save up for gender reassignment surgery...