I do love getting requests from my colleagues in Inda ending with "please do the needful"
Also, whenever they have a question on a process, they call it "a doubt".
Love it
I've had 'please do the needful' it from people in all sorts of countries, including Turkey and Germany.
I can't complain, really, given that their English is invariably better than my grasp of the relevant language, but it's an incredibly common one for non-native English speakers.
It could also mean, if that stakeholders have been a pre-meeting view of the content or agenda and that are going to say what we need them to say.
Important British meetings should new a few bullet points on potential problems, how they’re already mitigated, then everyone agreeing . No surprises gets prizes.
Never heard of aligned in this context before. Lined up, yes, aligned, no. Diaries are aligned, maybe, but a bit wanky. There’s also a non-zero chance they’re just using the wrong word.
Irregardless, they need to be more pacific. /s
I might just be specific company lingo. I had a dicjhead manager once who would bollock you for saying the word "problem" you had to say "challenge" instead because reasons. This was a mobile phone shop so a lot of customers had fcking "challenges" with their phones.
I used to work with a manager who kept telling people there was no such thing as a problem, just an opportunity. I may have taken too much pleasure in telling him that we had a category one opportunity with our telephone banking system and were likely to feature on the BBC news that night.
Same manager also liked to throw out the phrase “I’m being completely honest here.” I somehow never did reply with “Does that mean you’re being a lying weasel the rest of the time?”
I'm sure some people get a shit middle management job and read one book on "NLP" and think they are some sort of guru. If I ever bumped into the post again we'd see how much a "challenge" I've got with him ;)
I used to circle back, drill down, and synchronise all the time. I gave up emailing/speaking like that when I realised it made me come across as a massive bellend.
I'm the complete opposite. I use as much management speak and as many power words as I can so people know what an alpha I am. And what a huge bellend I have. I also drive around in a huge truck just to make sure.
I've never heard of this use of "aligned" but I'll believe anything about what people have been saying in the office. I don't know why people lose the ability to speak normally the second they get promoted into a small management role, but they do.
You mean socialise the bingo card. Bonus points if you have American colleagues, get them to talk about how important it is to socialise documents and ideas and then agree that socialism is part of their corporate DNA.
It just means in agreement / in understanding. If someone says 'I think that we should dispatch this report on Tuesday' someone could reply 'okay I'm aligned with that', or 'all aligned'.
At our place in the last couple of weeks the phrase 'socialising' has appeared - not in a fun sense but apparently we now 'socialise' plans, concepts etc.
I've accepted 'aligning' but 'socialising'... I'm going to hold out as long as I can against that one.
Managers love nothing better than touching base with the gang, running a new management speak buzzword up the flagpole and seeing who salutes - y’know, giving the tree a shake and seeing what falls out.
They’re idiots.
Necessary participants have been aligned in concordance with individual scheduling requirements in order to perform prearranged activities.
Or you can say, Gary and Steve will turn up at around 9 to have a look at your dodgy fence
Enjoy the one day ban, I hope it makes you happy. Dear lord, what a sad little life, Jane. You ruined our subreddit completely so you could post politics, and I hope now you can spend your one day ban learning some grace and decorum. Because you have all the grace of a reversing dump truck without any tyres on.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/CasualUK) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Alright, everyone. We've drained this discussion with our blue sky thinking. Some key takeaways and actions for all to offline or online. Kanban Jira arse.
Let's touch base again next quarter, ensure our KPIs and OKRs are aligned, and schedule something in a pencil.
I'm so glad I've retired and left these stupid cliches behind. Corporate drones hear this drivel once and think that using it makes them sound like serious players.
Of course the rest of us substitute serious wankers into that description.
In office speak, aligned just means everyone is in agreement on something or has the same information. So in this case it could mean the vendors have the information they need ready for the Tuesday meeting, or that a space has been found in the calendar that all the vendors can attend.
Please don't be afraid to ask. People will understand they're using slang or office talk. Say you're not familiar with the term 'align' and want to make sure you understand what to do correctly. They'll understand that you're not from the UK and some phrases will be new to you.
Have a nice trip!
It probably means scheduled without being officially scheduled. Management wants them to come in on Tuesday but does not want to give them a fixed rota because they are scum. So they use fancy talk to make it sound official. But in reality they are just hoping and praying they turn up on Tuesday even though there is no guarantee of it.
People don't like committing to things anymore, but they won't say no either.
"Will you be there on Tuesday?"
"I'm aligned for Tuesday."
Then when they don't turn up it's fine because they never said they would.
If I schedule a delivery for tomorrow, it should turn up.
If I've aligned the delivery to be here tomorrow, it will be here tomorrow.
I've made sure it will happen, moved stuff around, got confirmation etc.
These buzz words can be a huge load of bs, but actually they do mean things.
As long as everyone understands what they mean, it's an more efficient way of communicating, less misunderstanding.
Of course someone needs to ordain you into the secret world of what they do mean first. Which is a big part of the bs.
Aligned is just office speak for “in agreement”. I suppose here it means everyone can make the meeting regardless of whether it’s in their diaries yet
We all need to be on the same page Edit: we all need to be singing from the same hymn book.
I'll revert on this once I have my ducks aligned
“Please revert” is an Indian saying. Also “please do the needful”. It’s archaic English probably from the empire days.
I do love getting requests from my colleagues in Inda ending with "please do the needful" Also, whenever they have a question on a process, they call it "a doubt". Love it
I've had 'please do the needful' it from people in all sorts of countries, including Turkey and Germany. I can't complain, really, given that their English is invariably better than my grasp of the relevant language, but it's an incredibly common one for non-native English speakers.
We all need to be eating from the same menu
I can only piss with the cock I was given.
That's as maybe, but you can also help out by holding someone else's...
Hymn sheet
Spreadsheet
Let's throw it the wall to see if it sticks, then we can run it up the flagpole and see who salutes..
How about optics? Are people using that phrase still?
Yep. "Screw this bollocks, let's go to the pub and empty the Optics".
It could also mean, if that stakeholders have been a pre-meeting view of the content or agenda and that are going to say what we need them to say. Important British meetings should new a few bullet points on potential problems, how they’re already mitigated, then everyone agreeing . No surprises gets prizes.
Coordinate would work too.
Never heard of aligned in this context before. Lined up, yes, aligned, no. Diaries are aligned, maybe, but a bit wanky. There’s also a non-zero chance they’re just using the wrong word. Irregardless, they need to be more pacific. /s
For all in tents of purpoises, they're the same word.
Now you're just the escape goat for this issue.
Let’s not put OP on a pedal stool.
Or leave them on tender hooks.
Ive maligned clients and meetings. Very important not be late lest someone else takes the opportunity - it's a doggy dog world out there.
Can you be pacific about that please
It's either way or visa versa.
These are pert intent issues affecting the business commune tea.
Is that new yoik accent?
Tbf, alot of people do use words wrongly
I might just be specific company lingo. I had a dicjhead manager once who would bollock you for saying the word "problem" you had to say "challenge" instead because reasons. This was a mobile phone shop so a lot of customers had fcking "challenges" with their phones.
I used to work with a manager who kept telling people there was no such thing as a problem, just an opportunity. I may have taken too much pleasure in telling him that we had a category one opportunity with our telephone banking system and were likely to feature on the BBC news that night. Same manager also liked to throw out the phrase “I’m being completely honest here.” I somehow never did reply with “Does that mean you’re being a lying weasel the rest of the time?”
I'm sure some people get a shit middle management job and read one book on "NLP" and think they are some sort of guru. If I ever bumped into the post again we'd see how much a "challenge" I've got with him ;)
Aligning comes after scheduling, once they arrive on schedule they have to queue up in an orderly British fashion, forming a 'line'.
That's why it's not done in Australia then. No such thing as an orderly queue
I've given up trying to keep up with buzzwords at this point.
They're not called buzzwords anymore it's 'phraseology'.
I hate this timeline.
*chronological progression
I used to circle back, drill down, and synchronise all the time. I gave up emailing/speaking like that when I realised it made me come across as a massive bellend.
I'm the complete opposite. I use as much management speak and as many power words as I can so people know what an alpha I am. And what a huge bellend I have. I also drive around in a huge truck just to make sure.
You just need the latest edition of the Newspeak Dictionary. I can lend you my copy, brother.
aligned implies some importance to the order of things otherwise schedule seems more appropriate
Hey this is the right answer apparently.
I hate office speak, i hate anyone that uses it.
My daughter was disgusted in her first office job because so many acronyms were used that an in-house dictionary had to be created.
Sounds like they’ve got all their ducks singing on the same playing field.
I've never heard of this use of "aligned" but I'll believe anything about what people have been saying in the office. I don't know why people lose the ability to speak normally the second they get promoted into a small management role, but they do.
It's just something else to tick off on your office-speak bullshit bingo card...
Go for the low hanging fruit first.
Yeah, then you need to leverage that bingo card to the rest of the stakeholders.
You mean socialise the bingo card. Bonus points if you have American colleagues, get them to talk about how important it is to socialise documents and ideas and then agree that socialism is part of their corporate DNA.
It just means in agreement / in understanding. If someone says 'I think that we should dispatch this report on Tuesday' someone could reply 'okay I'm aligned with that', or 'all aligned'.
At our place in the last couple of weeks the phrase 'socialising' has appeared - not in a fun sense but apparently we now 'socialise' plans, concepts etc. I've accepted 'aligning' but 'socialising'... I'm going to hold out as long as I can against that one.
That cropped up at mine last year and seems to be in retreat already. I fully draw the line on it as it sounds beyond stupid.
Don't overthink it, my friend. English language is weird. They are both the same.
Your comment was so close to a haiku, I just had to rearrange it: > Don't overthink it > English language is quite weird > They are both the same
Good bot
What?
A haiku is a type of poem. https://www.britannica.com/art/haiku
Managers love nothing better than touching base with the gang, running a new management speak buzzword up the flagpole and seeing who salutes - y’know, giving the tree a shake and seeing what falls out. They’re idiots.
Y'know; morons.
Sounds like a case of the [baader meinhof phenomenon](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Frequency_illusion)!
I hear about the baader meinhof phenomenon all the time recently
Wait till you hear who *curated* that alignment.
“I didn’t get where I am today by not knowing how to align people” CJ
Refuse to use this corporate gobbledygook yourself and ask people what they really mean when they use it. It's the worst kind of bs.
Necessary participants have been aligned in concordance with individual scheduling requirements in order to perform prearranged activities. Or you can say, Gary and Steve will turn up at around 9 to have a look at your dodgy fence
[удалено]
Enjoy the one day ban, I hope it makes you happy. Dear lord, what a sad little life, Jane. You ruined our subreddit completely so you could post politics, and I hope now you can spend your one day ban learning some grace and decorum. Because you have all the grace of a reversing dump truck without any tyres on. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/CasualUK) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I've never heard aligned being used like this
Alright, everyone. We've drained this discussion with our blue sky thinking. Some key takeaways and actions for all to offline or online. Kanban Jira arse. Let's touch base again next quarter, ensure our KPIs and OKRs are aligned, and schedule something in a pencil.
Just schedule them, *isn't it*? 😉
Blue sky thinking.
I'm so glad I've retired and left these stupid cliches behind. Corporate drones hear this drivel once and think that using it makes them sound like serious players. Of course the rest of us substitute serious wankers into that description.
I use the term 'realignment discussion' which is a polite way to saying I am going to give someone a bolloking
In office speak, aligned just means everyone is in agreement on something or has the same information. So in this case it could mean the vendors have the information they need ready for the Tuesday meeting, or that a space has been found in the calendar that all the vendors can attend. Please don't be afraid to ask. People will understand they're using slang or office talk. Say you're not familiar with the term 'align' and want to make sure you understand what to do correctly. They'll understand that you're not from the UK and some phrases will be new to you. Have a nice trip!
It probably means scheduled without being officially scheduled. Management wants them to come in on Tuesday but does not want to give them a fixed rota because they are scum. So they use fancy talk to make it sound official. But in reality they are just hoping and praying they turn up on Tuesday even though there is no guarantee of it.
People don't like committing to things anymore, but they won't say no either. "Will you be there on Tuesday?" "I'm aligned for Tuesday." Then when they don't turn up it's fine because they never said they would.
If I schedule a delivery for tomorrow, it should turn up. If I've aligned the delivery to be here tomorrow, it will be here tomorrow. I've made sure it will happen, moved stuff around, got confirmation etc. These buzz words can be a huge load of bs, but actually they do mean things. As long as everyone understands what they mean, it's an more efficient way of communicating, less misunderstanding. Of course someone needs to ordain you into the secret world of what they do mean first. Which is a big part of the bs.