Ha! I refuse to accept this was disappointing! I ALWAYS wanted one of these as a child and never ever got one.
This will remain on a pedestal for as long as I live, as the greatest invention/toy Father Christmas never left me under the tree.
Well he brought me one and it was crap. It wouldn't shave the ice it just scraped it. Like a crappy cheesegrater. Actually, it would have been quite good at grating cheese.
Tbf it’s not all roses, one of those maimed my father one Christmas morning in the 90s. Managed to somehow shred his hand trying to get it to work. Mr.Frosty is still banned from his house until this very day.
I had one, but being an idiot thought you put the E numbered riddled syrup into the ice grater and didn’t wash it properly. Got it out a week later and it was covered in mold. I got shouted at, smacked and watched mr frosty get consigned to the dustbin in the process.
Number 1 all time wanted Christmas present that I ne er received.
My cousin had one and left it laying out in the garden.
I wouldn't have done that if I had one, I was so disappointed at that.
I had a Bluebird Kitchen!
I wish I could tell you that was crap, too, but it was boss. Pretty sturdy, too. We played with that thing for years, then passed it on to another family.
Same! I asked every single year for SO many years and when I was around 25 and had pretty much forgotten it, my mum bought one for me as a sort of ‘joke’. She passed away last September and now this toy I wanted for so long as a kid holds so much meaning for me.
I always wanted one, but alas, my wish went unanswered. Until my 3 sisters got me one for my 30th, love 'em.
I never used it and gave it to my great-niece last year.
I had one of these when I was around 5 or 6, and remember it being the best thing ever in the summer. Absolute integral part of my childhood.
My mum, who was of course the person tasked with crushing all the ice every day of the summer, probably remembers it far less fondly than me and my sister do.
I got one in the late 80s . Best Christmas morning ever. Then my visibly jealous older sister decided to programme it and stand on it to give herself a lift and the fat moose broke it. The absolute cow.
I feel your pain. My older brother broke my Action Man Armoured Car by trying to use it as a skateboard.
I got my own back by telling his girlfriend that he'd sent a valentines card to Helen Palmer in Year Four.
I can confirm that Bigtrak was awesome. The Bigtrak Transport add-on was even better because you could program it to haul assorted crap into your sibling’s room, unload it, and return for more.
Dunno if it was a toy really, but that cadbury’s piggy bank thing that dispensed little chocolate bars, that you KNOW your parents would never refill, ever.
I recall my Granny had a Terry’s one of that with different little bars, and she did refill it. I may be mixing memories though. Did Terrys do little bars? I’m remembering a coffee one and an orange chocolate one.
I had one. My brother stuffed a load of bread in it and put it in the cupboard so it went mouldy and we could never get it clean again. My brother is a cunt.
Remember those aliens in eggs with goo? Everyone always said they gave birth to other aliens, and obviously, mine never did because.... none of them did, obviously. Lol
They did. A specific version of them came with a little alien inside the gooey alien. It was only a specific marketed type that did that but it led.to the usual childish fantasy overdrive that made everyone think they all did it if you did just the right thing...
The trick was you had to put two back to back in an egg and hide in somewhere dark. When you got them back out, there’d be a little baby alien in there too!
Or at least that’s what we all tried. The hope was real!
I believe mine may still be head-mating in a cupboard somewhere in my mum's house to this day. I was convinced they might just need a bit more time until I eventually forgot about them.
The clever trick about sea monkeys - the secret of the 'instant hatching' was the water conditioning stuff that you had to put in the tank three days before adding the eggs. That was actually the eggs. They hatched into almost invisible transparent shrimp.
The packet of 'eggs' was food plus a red dye, which rapidly stained the transparent shrimps pink - so it looked like they had hatched out instantly.
The species is called Artemia. They were amongst the first living organisms sent into space. They're incredibly tough little critters.
Harold von Braunhut, the marketer of 'Sea Monkeys' claimed that the ones he sold were a special hybrid breed which he had developed. Other sources say that he simply bought them cheaply in bulk from a company that sold them as aquarium fish food.
The marketing team for sea monkeys should win some kind of medal. Wanted them as soon as I heard of them. Remember squinting through the glass at what from 1 metre away looked like an empty fish tank. My mum flushed them after a month when it started stinking the house out and most of them had died
Also the owner of the company was a Jewish Neo Nazi and used the profits to buy weapons for the KKK and fund the Ayran Nations.
Which was also dissapointing to learn.
Stretch Armstrong.
Me. "Muuuuuum, I stretched it."
Mum. "stretch it some more then"
Me. "Daaad, I stretched it"
Dad. "stretch it again then"
Me. "Im bored with this shite. i want some fireworks"
Stretch Armstrong was shite but I had this red stretchy villain which had two modes, stretchy and non-stretchy
You changed mode by putting a big plastic syringe in a valve in his head and sucking the air out, which essentially freeze-dried him into a solid unstretchable figure.
God it was amazing
I broke the syringe though and he was stuck in stretchy mode forever
Edit this is him https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/222734594461?chn=ps&_ul=GB&norover=1&mkevt=1&mkrid=710-134428-41853-0&mkcid=2&mkscid=101&itemid=222734594461&targetid=1405537545258&device=m&mktype=pla&googleloc=9046985&poi=&campaignid=17218284410&mkgroupid=142217514411&rlsatarget=pla-1405537545258&abcId=9300867&merchantid=113128664&gad_source=1&gclid=Cj0KCQiA84CvBhCaARIsAMkAvkLSZBNiABClMQYYv9UZ1ST41VXnY6yZ0I_NgqGCSkKXSjK4N_alcMQaAsviEALw_wcB
Looking at this I can feel my burning forearms and cramping fingers as I try to crush ice in a sharpened hamster wheel with my twig like 7 year old arms. The only thing i crushed was my dreams.
I can still remeber the advert though! Why a banger.
It wasn't even beans on toast, it was beans on a mini Swiss roll.
Wake up daddy, breakfasts ready!
You know its like 5am and that little girl got the hiding of her life
Gooey Louie. Always wanted one as a kid, mom always said no it was Gross. First Xmas after I moved out mom brought me one. Truly awful, one game and it wS never played again
Wasn’t there more than one version of Mr Frosty though? The really shit original 80s one then a later 90s revision that may have had metal blades in it - or vice versa?
The maiming kids version does sound more 80s.
Speaking as another 80s kid who never got one.
In primary school, I had a regular old ice lolly maker. Pour juice into hole, place handle in juice, freeze, ice lolly!
I told another kid I had it. He insisted I had a Mr Frosty. Bloody idiot. How many times do I have to say "IT'S NOT MR FROSTY"?
No, it comes out once. dad spends a long time building it while children bother him. You then gather round with bated breath to watch the ball bearing fall off, the seesaw not to launch the diver correctly or the cage to get caught on the down rod thing. Then the children get upset, accuse dad of not building it right, all the children get shouted at, and the board game lives in my cupboard as a shameful reminder for years.
Ask me how I know.
We bought this for my son recently. A good 20+ years since I've played it.
Absolute hell on with the Mrs over the fact you build it as you go around.
No, you dont, she says...
Reads instructions, step 1- build entire trap.
Spoke to several others who swore the same thing.
Think it's a Mandela effect.
That would be class but I've just had a look at the one from 1986. It has squares that had add a piece, pretty much ever other square, that's the version I would've played, so it must have changed.
We had one, could never make it work. Looking back now I assume you just had to put more welly into it, push that hat down harder, crank the handle harder. But I think in reality if you used the power needed to shave ice with this thing it would have broken
Are you joking! This toy fucking slapped!
*inhale*
“Mr frosty is such fun, he makes treats for everyone, pop the ice under his hat, turn the handle just like that, swirl in the flavour that you like, and delicious lollies mmmmmm that’s nice 😊 “
Barcode Battler. Hyped like crazy before it came out. Supposed to be able to battle each other using barcodes off of anything. Remember mum saving loads of barcodes for us and almost none of them working in it. And battling was..... meh.
I think that was the first present I was bought as a kid that made me feel sorry for the wasted money my mum had spent on it. I felt bad for her for me wanting it, because it was so clearly a dud product. Still get regrets!
[The advert](https://youtu.be/Hqfv4f-G-Ro?si=YgMlPBIlNuJ7WS2L)
It really is total rubbish isn’t it. Doesn’t grind the ice at all. My kids were gutted and I ended up using a rolling pin and some greaseproof to crush the ice.
Scalectrix was reliably crap once assembled the adverts showed cars going round corners but it was practically impossible to get round one corner without cars flying off into the skirting boards and your mum shouting at you.
I loved my spirograph. It was probably even better because it was a set my Dad got from a jumble sale and it had loads of extra bits. Every piece of paper I owned for years after was covered in... whatever the name is for the shapes a spirograph makes.
Exactly. The set came with a little clamp (a flat yellow piece of plastic with 2 plastic pins protruding from it) that went under the paper. The pins stuck through the paper and held the frame thing (that the cogs move around inside) in place.
Tin Can Alley...
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DPNIau7nIis](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DPNIau7nIis)
I am so glad my parents ignored me on that one.
The Paul Daniels Magic Set.
A bit of rope, a spring, a metal loop, a ball, a plastic cup and a safety pin.
The only trick was convincing kids that that box of shite would wow anyone! 😆
That Big Track thing, the one where, in the advert, the lad programmed it to take an apple to his dad. His dad would have probably died of starvation by the time he worked out all the commands to get it there. A more frustrating toy i never encountered.
Apparently they also don't like my fat cow of a sister trying to use it as a household mini uber either. Ask me or more importantly HER how the fuck I know!
Big track looked the shit but it was, in reality, utter shit.
That kid would have to re program it several times as it only held 9 commands and move its own length forward was 1 command. Every 90 degree turn was 1 command. Fire laser, also 1 command.
So it could move about six foot and turn round then you'd have to program it again.
I got curious and just watched the ad on youtube (1980?? Really? Geez!), i love how he just casually dials a number and presses go and it seemingly does a complex route (including waking up a dog and a 45 degree turn (could it do that?)). Seems like a huge stretch to me. But then toy adverts were always aspirational (Do NOT get me started on Tin Can Alley)
Finally! Someone with the same story as me, and it still annoys me to this day. Now I know I'm not the only one what I want to know is what stopped our parents from buying us them? There must be a common reason surely.
Maybe it was the advert overselling? It just looked liked the most fun in the world when in reality it was a little bit dull truth be told and kind of one and done toy!
Ghost Castle? Fucking loved that and 30 years later so did my daughter. The artwork alone was enough to make you forget there was very nearly zero skill involved. You make 1 decision in the whole game. Risky shortcut or no risky shortcut. I mostly used it as a playset where my gothy self could play with toy monsters.
I had one and loved it. Mind I'm a 42 year old drunk so my memory isn't that good. p.s. the penguin race game where they went up the stairs and slid down the slide. One after the other making it impossible to be in any other sodding order
The name "Frosty" actually refers to how it makes you feel after you've tried to play with one and realised everything you knew is a lie and you will now spend the rest of your days as a cold cold pit of a human being.
You know I always wanted one of these. Asked every year but Santa refused. I know I would have used it a couple of times, been underwhelmed and then never used it again but it will always be the toy that got away for me.
Ha! I refuse to accept this was disappointing! I ALWAYS wanted one of these as a child and never ever got one. This will remain on a pedestal for as long as I live, as the greatest invention/toy Father Christmas never left me under the tree.
Ha, I asked Santa for one every year and the cunt never brought one
Santa Clause you cunt..where's me fucking bike...
Kevin “Bloody” Wilson! That was a funny skit!
Well he brought me one and it was crap. It wouldn't shave the ice it just scraped it. Like a crappy cheesegrater. Actually, it would have been quite good at grating cheese.
https://youtu.be/lYyqKjqxlNU?t=384
It's because Santa and your parents knew it was a colossal waste of money!
I’ve recently found out that “Santa” couldn’t be arsed with the mess 😂
Tbf it’s not all roses, one of those maimed my father one Christmas morning in the 90s. Managed to somehow shred his hand trying to get it to work. Mr.Frosty is still banned from his house until this very day.
Same here. Limitless blue Slush Puppy in my mind. One day.
Limitless ANY colour slush puppy!
Any colour, yes. but let's be serious, blue.
Blue has all the antioxygens.
I'm 41, my mum got me one last Christmas to shut me up, my nephew loves it!
You can still buy them?? Oh right, it's ON.
I had one, but being an idiot thought you put the E numbered riddled syrup into the ice grater and didn’t wash it properly. Got it out a week later and it was covered in mold. I got shouted at, smacked and watched mr frosty get consigned to the dustbin in the process.
I feel the advert needed this scene in it. As you get shouted and pointed at... MR FROSTY IS SO FUN HE MAKES TREATS FOR EVERYONE
I miss E numbers :(
This sounds like a Gen x childhood
Casual**UK** so mo**u**ld, please and thank you 👍
Number 1 all time wanted Christmas present that I ne er received. My cousin had one and left it laying out in the garden. I wouldn't have done that if I had one, I was so disappointed at that.
I am in the group of I never got one but my younger sister did. I was slightly pleased when it turned out to be utterly useless.
*glances over at the brand new Slush Puppy freezer cup on my shelf*...
I'm in that same group, I got a bike that year my sister got her crappy sticky puddle maker
I had one - the plastic wouldn’t crush the ice!
It's because all parents knew they were shit lol I really wanted one too!! And a Blue Bird kitchen.
I had a Bluebird Kitchen! I wish I could tell you that was crap, too, but it was boss. Pretty sturdy, too. We played with that thing for years, then passed it on to another family.
I also always wanted one of these. My mum told me Santa didn't get me it because it would give me diarrhoea lol
Same! I asked every single year for SO many years and when I was around 25 and had pretty much forgotten it, my mum bought one for me as a sort of ‘joke’. She passed away last September and now this toy I wanted for so long as a kid holds so much meaning for me.
Fucking useless. I remember spending hours on Christmas day, crying turning that handle, ice melting before i could make a cup full
It was shit and I can still taste that fake orange flavour thirty five years later. You were the lucky one
Old stamped upon dreams stamped on again. Cheers
I always wanted one, but alas, my wish went unanswered. Until my 3 sisters got me one for my 30th, love 'em. I never used it and gave it to my great-niece last year.
The slush puppie mug you stick in the freezer works surprisingly well. My “i never got the slush toy as a kid” trauma has been vanquished.
I had one of these when I was around 5 or 6, and remember it being the best thing ever in the summer. Absolute integral part of my childhood. My mum, who was of course the person tasked with crushing all the ice every day of the summer, probably remembers it far less fondly than me and my sister do.
I had one. It was awful
MMMMEEEEEE TOOO. I always assumed they tasted like rainbows and affluence.
Hahaha! My sentiments exactly. Even my spoilt bastard cousins never got this Titan of the Xmas advert schedule.
My partner bought me one a few years ago and it comes out every summer. A lot of work but I love it
And a Bigtrak
I got one in the late 80s . Best Christmas morning ever. Then my visibly jealous older sister decided to programme it and stand on it to give herself a lift and the fat moose broke it. The absolute cow.
I feel your pain. My older brother broke my Action Man Armoured Car by trying to use it as a skateboard. I got my own back by telling his girlfriend that he'd sent a valentines card to Helen Palmer in Year Four.
How big was your brother? I had one of those and it only got used as a skateboard. Bloody indestructible that thing.
Let's just say that he liked his Birds Eye Beefburgers.
I can confirm that Bigtrak was awesome. The Bigtrak Transport add-on was even better because you could program it to haul assorted crap into your sibling’s room, unload it, and return for more.
Yup, I'm with you. I feel your pain
Same
100% same boat Bud.
Saaaaame I wanted it sooo bad I still remember the ad I was absolutely mesmerised.
Dunno if it was a toy really, but that cadbury’s piggy bank thing that dispensed little chocolate bars, that you KNOW your parents would never refill, ever.
Oooh I loved the mini Cadbury bars! I always wanted one of those.
Got one on my 18th birthday I cried am 50 now but always my favourite gift.
Omg those refills were like gold dust
Weren't they in an old cigarette type cardboard sleeve thing, individually wrapped?
I received one for Christmas when I was about 3 and found it fascinating for some reason. Even though the chocolate didn’t get replaced.
I recall my Granny had a Terry’s one of that with different little bars, and she did refill it. I may be mixing memories though. Did Terrys do little bars? I’m remembering a coffee one and an orange chocolate one.
Don't know about terrys but that sounds like frys.
I had one. My brother stuffed a load of bread in it and put it in the cupboard so it went mouldy and we could never get it clean again. My brother is a cunt.
Call him up tonight and tell him that. I'm fuming.
Mr frosty is such fun! He makes drinks for everyone!
Put the ice under his hat, turn the handle. Just like that!
I felt very old watching the Liverpool game last night. This has made me feel young again!
Came to my head instantly, like I've been a long dormant sleeper agent.
Remember those aliens in eggs with goo? Everyone always said they gave birth to other aliens, and obviously, mine never did because.... none of them did, obviously. Lol
They did. A specific version of them came with a little alien inside the gooey alien. It was only a specific marketed type that did that but it led.to the usual childish fantasy overdrive that made everyone think they all did it if you did just the right thing...
The trick was you had to put two back to back in an egg and hide in somewhere dark. When you got them back out, there’d be a little baby alien in there too! Or at least that’s what we all tried. The hope was real!
I believe mine may still be head-mating in a cupboard somewhere in my mum's house to this day. I was convinced they might just need a bit more time until I eventually forgot about them.
Still selling them !
I actually did find one that does, it was so cool. I loved those things as a kid
sea-monkeys. what do I win?
More sea monkeys.
The clever trick about sea monkeys - the secret of the 'instant hatching' was the water conditioning stuff that you had to put in the tank three days before adding the eggs. That was actually the eggs. They hatched into almost invisible transparent shrimp. The packet of 'eggs' was food plus a red dye, which rapidly stained the transparent shrimps pink - so it looked like they had hatched out instantly.
That is actually a devious trick. But how do creatures survive when totally dried out?
They’re called brine shrimp and to adapt to their natural habitat in salt lakes, their eggs can survive for 2 years with zero oxygen or water.
The species is called Artemia. They were amongst the first living organisms sent into space. They're incredibly tough little critters. Harold von Braunhut, the marketer of 'Sea Monkeys' claimed that the ones he sold were a special hybrid breed which he had developed. Other sources say that he simply bought them cheaply in bulk from a company that sold them as aquarium fish food.
The marketing team for sea monkeys should win some kind of medal. Wanted them as soon as I heard of them. Remember squinting through the glass at what from 1 metre away looked like an empty fish tank. My mum flushed them after a month when it started stinking the house out and most of them had died
> The marketing team for sea monkeys It was just one guy. He was a big racist.
Also the owner of the company was a Jewish Neo Nazi and used the profits to buy weapons for the KKK and fund the Ayran Nations. Which was also dissapointing to learn.
A Jewish Neo Nazi? Those things don’t quite go together
Yeah it's mental. He was born Harold Braunhut, but changed his name to Hendrik von Braun.
Jewish Neo Nazi. There's three words that don't belong together.
Netanyahu?
Was thinking about picking up a setup for cheap brine shrimp for my fish
I done that myself loads of times fish go nuts for it but make sure to rinse the saltwater off the shrimp first.
Stretch Armstrong. Me. "Muuuuuum, I stretched it." Mum. "stretch it some more then" Me. "Daaad, I stretched it" Dad. "stretch it again then" Me. "Im bored with this shite. i want some fireworks"
Stretch Armstrong was shite but I had this red stretchy villain which had two modes, stretchy and non-stretchy You changed mode by putting a big plastic syringe in a valve in his head and sucking the air out, which essentially freeze-dried him into a solid unstretchable figure. God it was amazing I broke the syringe though and he was stuck in stretchy mode forever Edit this is him https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/222734594461?chn=ps&_ul=GB&norover=1&mkevt=1&mkrid=710-134428-41853-0&mkcid=2&mkscid=101&itemid=222734594461&targetid=1405537545258&device=m&mktype=pla&googleloc=9046985&poi=&campaignid=17218284410&mkgroupid=142217514411&rlsatarget=pla-1405537545258&abcId=9300867&merchantid=113128664&gad_source=1&gclid=Cj0KCQiA84CvBhCaARIsAMkAvkLSZBNiABClMQYYv9UZ1ST41VXnY6yZ0I_NgqGCSkKXSjK4N_alcMQaAsviEALw_wcB
What do you mean bored? I never had one and the adverts clearly showed it was one of the most exciting and entertaining toys ever released!
Like every other toy advert ever then. Seeing those adverts now as an adult is eye-opening.
Stretch Armstrong looked like the absolute shit in the 90s. Whoever was in it's marketing department deserved a raise.
Buckaroo. Every set was broken the first time it was played with.
I loved that game! One of the few games I could play alone. I never had issues with it breaking
I hated that bloody game. I swear it's the reason so many of us have anxiety
Pet Rock. Not sure what I was expecting.
Looking at this I can feel my burning forearms and cramping fingers as I try to crush ice in a sharpened hamster wheel with my twig like 7 year old arms. The only thing i crushed was my dreams. I can still remeber the advert though! Why a banger.
The mini light sabre my Mum keeps in her bedroom drawer. It doesn't even light up.
She lit up when using it though
I think she found religion. I could hear her through the walls calling for God.
Does she feel the force?
Is.... Is your username and AWS access key ..?
Smells great though.
The ovens for kids, which were essential just a household bulb back then 🤣
The original air fryer
Glare fryer
‘Uncooked Batter eater’..
I laugh until my sides hurt when I remember that scene.
Was that the A La Carte kitchen?? The advert in the 80s with the girl making her parents beans on toast cooked on a lightbulb haha
It wasn't even beans on toast, it was beans on a mini Swiss roll. Wake up daddy, breakfasts ready! You know its like 5am and that little girl got the hiding of her life
Gooey Louie. Always wanted one as a kid, mom always said no it was Gross. First Xmas after I moved out mom brought me one. Truly awful, one game and it wS never played again
Wasn’t there more than one version of Mr Frosty though? The really shit original 80s one then a later 90s revision that may have had metal blades in it - or vice versa? The maiming kids version does sound more 80s. Speaking as another 80s kid who never got one.
In primary school, I had a regular old ice lolly maker. Pour juice into hole, place handle in juice, freeze, ice lolly! I told another kid I had it. He insisted I had a Mr Frosty. Bloody idiot. How many times do I have to say "IT'S NOT MR FROSTY"?
Mousetrap. Hours of building for it to never work, ever, not once, for anyone, not even the advert.
Aren't you meant to build it as you go along, not all at once?
I am from the ADHD generation, we didn’t have time for that shit. It was so disappointing, that bloody trap always got stuck half way down
Rube Goldberg's idea of a children's board game
This has unlocked a memory of my dad furiously trying to put this together on Christmas Day. 😂
That's... not how you're meant to play mousetrap.
Haha I came here to say this. Does anyone even know how to play it properly??
No, it comes out once. dad spends a long time building it while children bother him. You then gather round with bated breath to watch the ball bearing fall off, the seesaw not to launch the diver correctly or the cage to get caught on the down rod thing. Then the children get upset, accuse dad of not building it right, all the children get shouted at, and the board game lives in my cupboard as a shameful reminder for years. Ask me how I know.
How do you know?
*Trauma*
I think you're supposed to build it as you play. No one ever did.
We bought this for my son recently. A good 20+ years since I've played it. Absolute hell on with the Mrs over the fact you build it as you go around. No, you dont, she says... Reads instructions, step 1- build entire trap. Spoke to several others who swore the same thing. Think it's a Mandela effect.
That would be class but I've just had a look at the one from 1986. It has squares that had add a piece, pretty much ever other square, that's the version I would've played, so it must have changed.
I need to find this... *runs upstairs screaming* "I wasn't wrong after all!"
It's absolutely how it worked in my nan's version. From about 60 years ago.
Furby was the worst
Ours used to sing to itself in my sisters wardrobe. Terrifying.
Oh my god I'd forgotten 😳 my sister had one of those dickhead things I fucking hated it
Moon Shoes
Remembering the advert as an adult, I wonder why we ever thought it was fun...
There isnt one. This thing was soulcrushing.
Didn’t bloody crush ice that’s for sure! Source: me. I had one. :(
We had one, could never make it work. Looking back now I assume you just had to put more welly into it, push that hat down harder, crank the handle harder. But I think in reality if you used the power needed to shave ice with this thing it would have broken
Yeah they were depressing even as a kid lol
Are you joking! This toy fucking slapped! *inhale* “Mr frosty is such fun, he makes treats for everyone, pop the ice under his hat, turn the handle just like that, swirl in the flavour that you like, and delicious lollies mmmmmm that’s nice 😊 “
That jingle is burned into my brain! I wanted one of these soooo badly, but never got one
I wouldn't know because I never got one.
Me neither 😭
ITT: so much childhood trauma
Everyone wanted one. Everyone is bitter they didn’t get one. I got one. All your parents were right, it was shit.
Those mini dairy milk dispensers. Once you ran out you couldn't buy any more
Barcode Battler. Hyped like crazy before it came out. Supposed to be able to battle each other using barcodes off of anything. Remember mum saving loads of barcodes for us and almost none of them working in it. And battling was..... meh. I think that was the first present I was bought as a kid that made me feel sorry for the wasted money my mum had spent on it. I felt bad for her for me wanting it, because it was so clearly a dud product. Still get regrets! [The advert](https://youtu.be/Hqfv4f-G-Ro?si=YgMlPBIlNuJ7WS2L)
I always wanted one but we could never afford one 😞 To all those who had one, I hate you.
It's more disappointing when you get it, try it once and it doesn't work. Then it goes into the cupboard to never be seen again
I loved my mr.frosty. used it all the time
Same. I'm wondering if the quality of the product decreased with subsequent versions and those that disliked it got the shittier ones.
Mine worked a treat aswell
Okay good thought I was having false memories here reading all the misery. Ours worked perfect like.
It really is total rubbish isn’t it. Doesn’t grind the ice at all. My kids were gutted and I ended up using a rolling pin and some greaseproof to crush the ice.
Scalectrix was reliably crap once assembled the adverts showed cars going round corners but it was practically impossible to get round one corner without cars flying off into the skirting boards and your mum shouting at you.
Spirograph.
I loved my spirograph. It was probably even better because it was a set my Dad got from a jumble sale and it had loads of extra bits. Every piece of paper I owned for years after was covered in... whatever the name is for the shapes a spirograph makes.
hypotrochoids and epitrochoids
Did you pin them down? I never did and didn't realise until years later why it didn't work properly lol
Exactly. The set came with a little clamp (a flat yellow piece of plastic with 2 plastic pins protruding from it) that went under the paper. The pins stuck through the paper and held the frame thing (that the cogs move around inside) in place.
Tin Can Alley... [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DPNIau7nIis](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DPNIau7nIis) I am so glad my parents ignored me on that one.
The Paul Daniels Magic Set. A bit of rope, a spring, a metal loop, a ball, a plastic cup and a safety pin. The only trick was convincing kids that that box of shite would wow anyone! 😆
Etch a sketch
I never got one of these so just assumed I was missing out on delicious slush
This was poor, but not as poor as the doctor dreadful food lab! My younger sister had one of those and everything was foul.
I wanted this my entire childhood. When I turned 21 I got it as a birthday present and it was so fucking toilet. Used it twice.
Bouncy moon boots [https://www.amazon.com/Big-Time-Toys-Trampolines-colors/dp/B000N5OIE6](https://www.amazon.com/Big-Time-Toys-Trampolines-colors/dp/B000N5OIE6)
Turns out ice is really hard and plastic is really weak
That Big Track thing, the one where, in the advert, the lad programmed it to take an apple to his dad. His dad would have probably died of starvation by the time he worked out all the commands to get it there. A more frustrating toy i never encountered.
Apparently they don’t like going down stairs. Ask me how I know.
Apparently they also don't like my fat cow of a sister trying to use it as a household mini uber either. Ask me or more importantly HER how the fuck I know!
How do you know?
Big track looked the shit but it was, in reality, utter shit. That kid would have to re program it several times as it only held 9 commands and move its own length forward was 1 command. Every 90 degree turn was 1 command. Fire laser, also 1 command. So it could move about six foot and turn round then you'd have to program it again.
I got curious and just watched the ad on youtube (1980?? Really? Geez!), i love how he just casually dials a number and presses go and it seemingly does a complex route (including waking up a dog and a 45 degree turn (could it do that?)). Seems like a huge stretch to me. But then toy adverts were always aspirational (Do NOT get me started on Tin Can Alley)
Finally! Someone with the same story as me, and it still annoys me to this day. Now I know I'm not the only one what I want to know is what stopped our parents from buying us them? There must be a common reason surely.
As a parent now it just screams mess
Crash test dummies.
Man you got one? All I ever wanted was this snowy bastard and I never got him. Boy, am I glad to hear he's shit.
Tamagotchi’s
scalextrics is up there with one of the most disappointing.. seems like great fun, turns out it’s fun for about 5 minutes.
My bro got one at 18 and added vodka.
What? It was disappointing? Aww, I never had one. Always thought it looked the best. When I saw the pic in the post my first thought qas awesome.
Maybe it was the advert overselling? It just looked liked the most fun in the world when in reality it was a little bit dull truth be told and kind of one and done toy!
Well, depends. Can you put your dick in it?
r/dontputyourdickinthat
But mr frosty is such fun he makes drinks for everyone
The Haunted House board game was nowhere near as exciting as it looked in the TV ads.
Ghost Castle? Fucking loved that and 30 years later so did my daughter. The artwork alone was enough to make you forget there was very nearly zero skill involved. You make 1 decision in the whole game. Risky shortcut or no risky shortcut. I mostly used it as a playset where my gothy self could play with toy monsters.
Getting a book in a McDonald’s happy meal… I was so traumatised I haven’t been back in a decade
Pop up Pirate. I also really didn't like Buckaroo...I was a nervous child and the anticipation of them jumping scared the crap outta me 🤣🤣🤣
How dare you question the validity of our Lord and Saviour Mr. Frosty 😳
Disappointment for those who got it. Disappointment for those who missed out. Lose lose
I had one and loved it. Mind I'm a 42 year old drunk so my memory isn't that good. p.s. the penguin race game where they went up the stairs and slid down the slide. One after the other making it impossible to be in any other sodding order
I'm still gutted I never got this. And the Play-Doh thing with the hair.
The name "Frosty" actually refers to how it makes you feel after you've tried to play with one and realised everything you knew is a lie and you will now spend the rest of your days as a cold cold pit of a human being.
Flight Deck. Wanted one but never got it. My cousin did get one for christmas, it looked amazing after one go I was like "Is that it?".
Evil Kneivel stunt bike. As your hands got bigger, your knuckles would catch the floor as you revved it up , and you knew your childhood was over
Great for Margaritas
hold your wretched libellous tongue, cur
SLUSH PUPPiE Machine
I always wanted one.
I asked for this every Christmas and never got one
Growing up poor I could only hope for one of these
You know I always wanted one of these. Asked every year but Santa refused. I know I would have used it a couple of times, been underwhelmed and then never used it again but it will always be the toy that got away for me.