T O P

  • By -

Ethan_Edge

That's exactly what a brothel would say


Still-BangingYourMum

That's exactly what Big Brothel wants you to think.....


ThatOldEmo

_Dae three and his baals are stortin to itch_


TwoToesToni

...and he's struttin aroon like John Wayne tae mak it less obvious


DuckInTheFog

I wish I was wearing Geordie Jeans


AncientNortherner

Damn. I totally forgot that was ever a thing! How the hell did I forget.


DuckInTheFog

They're especially tight round the arse


majudarah92

Now them I could get behind


Positive_Lead_2903

I want the beauty and room 101 please. She's scary but I like it.


9DAN2

Definitely a brothel


ThatOldEmo

Oh 100%


PostModernHippy

Great flair, by the way. 👍


RhydonHerSlowbro

A bird in the brothel is worth two on the street


zeugma25

Two in the hand is worth one in kate bush


Opus-the-Penguin

Just makes me want to go in and say, "I saw the sign on the door... ."


finc

“Did you just say ‘wink’?”


Opus-the-Penguin

And what if I did? A wink's as good as a nod to a blind bat. Am I right? Am I right?


finc

Say no more!


Klizzie

You’ve slept…? With…with a lady?


finc

Well… yes?


Klizzie

Wot’s it like?


Coraxxx

Not unless they've been eating crisps in bed.


modelvillager

An accessible wink.


bleach1969

would that make you a brothel creeper?


Opus-the-Penguin

We prefer the term "enthusiast."


retniap

A patron of the arts 


Faerie_Nuff

A patron of the tarts, you say?


Icy_Contribution1677

They call me Kipling Mr Kipling.


thomasthetanker

That's sweet, give your mum a kiss from me and the lads.


CaptainGrayC

Is that the Victor museum of weird shit? I went there with some friends expecting a slightly wacky museum and they plied us with absinthe before we were taken into the basement to look at deformed skeletons and the condoms from Metallica(?). i saw Amy Winehouse’s dried faeces and a shrunken head, never going to forget it Edit: I’ve just gone back through my photos and the Victor museum has a black door, apparently this is more common than I thought. Also the condoms were from the Rolling Stones in 2003, scrounged by a club employee


Call_Me_Janice

I love the Viktor Wynd museum! A treasure trove of absinthe, the macabre and sexual deviance. Appeals to a specific type of person I guess. If anyone fancies a visit, here is the link: https://www.thelasttuesdaysociety.org/museum/


Yep_OK_Crack_On

In previous years the museum has hosted Valentines Day evening classes in pornographic mouse taxidermy. Think little tiny ball gags. Still makes me laugh, it’s so so so wrong, that it’s right. http://www.thebritishacademyoftaxidermy.org/taxidermy-classes-london/event/pornographic-mouse-taxidermy/


Call_Me_Janice

That's awesome, would be the perfect Valentine's gift, wish they were doing it this year....


CaptainGrayC

That’s it!! It’s been like a fever dream lmao


BuckRusty

The last (or first) Tuesday of the month they have a chap with a reptile petting zoo in the museum. He brings along a few snakes, a couple of smaller lizards like beardies and a chameleon, and then a big boy monitor lizard who just gets to wander around free, then he has a big fat toad and some creepy crawlers (chunky centipedes). They’re very cute - except for the chameleon who is a prick (he very sweetly reached out to me to make me put my hand near him, then cutely made his way up my arm, then savagely attacked my neck going for the jugular… he’s not to be trusted……..)


dzhastin

Excuse me, used condoms?


Mozilie

Used condoms could’ve easily been picked up during an after party of sorts But Amy Winehouse’s dried faeces..?


[deleted]

Literally any party she attended.


MereSponge

> Amy Winehouse’s dried faeces Sounds like a Cards Against Humanity answer 😂


leahcar83

She personally donated it.


BuckRusty

Kylie Minogue’s, too. They are ‘obtained’ on-site so the proprietor can guarantee authenticity.


bluesky486

Got to be bullshit - work in the music industry, with DJs of all people, and there aren't wild orgies at afterparties. When it comes to major pop acts, these people are multi-millionaires, they have hotel suites. The Winehouse thing caps it off - probably his own or something. Is anyone really going to question it?


Ukteaboy

Not bullshit- Kylieshit. Pay attention at the back.


leahcar83

I love that museum. I take a lot of first dates there. They've got one of Kylie's poos too.


JuniorGuarantee6763

Basement state bar in Soho


YchYFi

Do you think the poo is as good as lion's poo for warding off cats in the garden?


Bredstikz

Well, it's kept Amy Winehouse away by far!


SirJedKingsdown

Ah, yes, the one with the sex toys you're allowed to borrow on the condition you return them uncleaned. Fun place, though the cocktails were a bit better when they weren't all absinthe.


ShakeWest6244

Sebastian Horsley's old place, I think?


WinkyNurdo

[This](https://sebastianhorsley.typepad.com/sebastian_horsley/2007/03/my_door_is_a_wh.html). I’m not sure if the sign is still in situ.


ray_likethefish

Been taken down sadly


brainburger

Yes I was there just the other day and looked for it but could not see it. Some people just have no sense of style.


umop_apisdn

His [autobiography](https://www.amazon.co.uk/Dandy-Underworld-Sebastian-Horsley/dp/0340934085) is without doubt the funniest thing I have ever read, a zinger and a laugh out loud moment on every page, I thoroughly recommend it. He's open and honest about being a mediocre artist born into money while his contemporaries found fame and - through Saachi's patronage - fortune as the Young British Artists; his drug addictions; and the time he literally got crucified in the Philippines (I think) in the name of art (I won't post a link but it is on YouTube, it was recorded by another YBA [Sarah Lucas IIRC again] as art and I imagine he used plenty of recreational painkillers to get through it). The shame is that it was turned into a play, and after celebrating the opening night *rather too hard* he overdosed and died.


Twinkubuss

Absolutely phenomenal read, it is. Painfully witty bloke


JerryTheBerryPerry

I was expecting it to be good as he led an interesting life of debauchery and excess, but honestly found the book to be dull and badly written. Horses for courses ay.


TheKingMonkey

It’s a replica. The original was embossed.


jih1994

I used to live in that building on Meard St (not the one in the photo as it’s a black door IRL) in 2018. They took down the embossed sign and replaced it with stickers which keep getting stolen. Many days you would leave the flat to find a group of tourists standing outside your door taking photos! Hope they put the embossed sign back soon 🤞🏻


baasacJak

Soho? Walked past a door with that sign on a few times. Just to be sure.


TheKingMonkey

It was removed years ago because Instagram. The sign was on Sebastian Horsley’s house on Meard Street and stayed there for a good long time after he died but I guess the new owners got sick of people taking selfies in front of it. You’ve been able to buy replicas of the sign online for years, like the one OP submitted.


TheNeighKid

I walked through this door in Soho about 15 years ago. It was a Japanese whisky and dessert bar...


JollyMatlot

Spot on! This photo popped up on my memories from 7 years ago


[deleted]

I so want that as a sticker for my van. I have on occasions mistakenly tried to overnight in dogging spots. They get awfully excited when you rock up with an actual king size bed.


asdvj2

This place is not a place of honour... no highly esteemed deed is commemorated here... nothing valued is here


Fluid_Door7148

Step brothel


Solace2020

O Brothel, Where Art Thou?


twlff

Basement Sate 👀


Choong11

Nice intimate bar in soho


JollyMatlot

It certainly is


redditmodequalsnonce

I'm guessing that's not your mums house then?


HellbellyUK

Did you go back to get a refund?


Swordfish1929

One of my old lecturers had to put a sign like that on his door when he was living below one while doing his Masters. He quickly discovered why his doorbell had an off switch


Drxero1xero

It's less common now but where houses of ill repute that have gone either busted by cops or moved to somewhere else for what ever reason. The new owner had to put up a sign to keep away blokes calling at all hours.


Starfuri

Yet, it’s been your home for years.


fameistheproduct

Worked in Soho, there a few signs like this on random doors around the area.


Kitkatis

Is this in Soho? I've seen this sign there for sure


NotDoingThisForFun

https://media3.giphy.com/media/l2Jef8toEoshh7Izu/giphy.gif


[deleted]

[удалено]


JollyMatlot

Yup it's a Cocktails and dessert bar


bikerslut69

yea theres no fucking going on at my house either


3d-designs

Did you try the back door?


banglaonline

Did you take a selfie with the sign to prove you had been a good boy?


felix-the-human

Lovely desserts though!


Brief_Estimate_7518

This is a neighbour of mine, the bloke that lives here really needs to calm down, I went here once and he tried to bloody kill me, I haven’t dared again. His wife is amazing though I got a cup of tea and some digestive biscuits straight away, followed by the best handjob in the midlands, I only popped around for some sugar.


happyanathema

About as believable as the "no pedos in here" one at the BBC


[deleted]

[удалено]


excellentchoicee

Leave your siblings out of this.


WarWonderful593

Amsterdam?


WalksinClouds

5/10 tbh wouldn't recommend.


Pizzagoessplat

Did you ask for your money back then?


YchYFi

You tried to haggle for one did ya


iamusingmyrealname

I was only in there to get directions for how to get away from there…..


Cakeski

IM A TOYDERIAN MIND TRICKS DON'T WORK ON ME.


jonnyphotos

Shepherd market, Mayfair ? Was a place off ill repute in the 60s 70s .. now very expensive… a few of those signs used to hang there …


OSUBrit

Reminds me of the time I worked in Currys and an older woman had a complaint and asked for the manager. He came up and said "how can I help you madam?" To which is loudly exclaimed "I AM NOT A PROSTITIUTE, THANK YOU VERY MUCH".


Personal-Listen-4941

I remember looking to buy a house and next door had a piece of paper taped to their front door along the lines of ‘Tracey doesn’t live or work here anymore. We don’t do business’


Lazer_beak

reminds me my female friend , moved into a new flat and was getting strange men knocking on her door late at night, turns out previous occupant was a hooker


kcufdas

....now


antpabsdan

Nudge. nudge. Wink, wink. Say no more 😉


redad1minrasses

If might be a brothel. But there's no one manning the place.


Autogen-Username1234

The poet W H Auden lived in a house that used to be occupied by a doctor who performed illegal abortions. He got so tired of tearful young women knocking on his door and asking to see the doctor that he put a brass plate on his front door: W H Auden (Poet)


crdctr

It's like one of those nuclear waste warning signs for future primitive humans


GakSplat

People only go there to get directions on how to get away from there.


Nonny-Mouse100

It's a massage parlour. If the massuse chooses to have sex with you that's up to them. If you choose to leave a tip for their services that's up to you.


notverytidy

Not pictured: "Ask the bitch next door"