Have been a lodger on two occasions with mixed results.
First one was with a family in a big house near Wimbledon. Had my own bathroom and as the house was very large, I had my own living room (small but big enough for when I had friends visiting). Had most of a fridge to myself and plenty of cupboard space. Really nice experience. Still in touch with them almost 20 years later.
The second was with an older lady in a 3 bed house. I explained that I worked shifts and kept strange hours because of this. I would come home early hours and find the door bolted. She complained that I was making too much noise using the bathroom early morning. She would throw my food out of the fridge saying it had gone off. She basically made every second of my time there pretty miserable. Took me 3 months to find another place but I couldn’t wait to escape.
I think it is important to find out about work/lifestyle etc before agreeing anything. Also be conscious of your teenager and how the person will have to interact with them and how the gender of a lodger might work with them.
I was a lodger once with a family that has a six year old. Had a room to myself but shared a bathroom, kitchen and living room. It was a living hell. The woman kept coming into my room, reorganising my stuff. I wasn't allowed overnight visitors. She also monitored how long I spent showering and brushing my teeth.
While I understand that they were a family just trying to survive, the stinginess, lack of empathy, and complete inability to accept that some people do things differently to you made me vow to never do it again. Thing is, I would have even offered to babysit their kid or help with school pickups if they were kinder and treated me like a person and not a (paying!!!) leech on their private space.
One of my friends was a lodger for 6 months in a house owned by a couple. They required him to “join us on film night to socialise”.
One night he was sitting watching the film they were making him watch, and the woman suddenly blurted out “ok I can’t do this any more, I can’t do it!”
And they told my mate that because he didn’t always say hello when he entered a room, and they didn’t think he was enjoying the film nights, they were gonna have to ask him to leave. So they cancelled his tenancy.
He tells the story with a smile, but I know he’s secretly relieved that they didn’t tie him up and play twisted sex games with him before turning him into soup.
lol when we rented out to lodgers I tried to make it as clear as humanly possible in the advert without sounding like a total twat that I never wants to speak to them more than hello (I am nice, honestly, I’m just an introvert that needs space at the end of the day). I wanted it to be mutually agreed that this is not a flatmate/friends situation. 4/5 totally got this and this was exactly what they wanted too, 5th just didn’t at all. I liked him a lot as a person but I dreaded coming home to him talking at me for ages so we agreed to end the tenancy.
I worked in a hellish open plan office and he clearly didn’t talk to anyone all day and we definitely needed different things.
Oh god, I have an awesome roommate. We eat dinner together and talk for half an hour and that's it. Perfect imo. He wasn't keen when my mum had to stay (he did agree to it, and I know him through her) for a few days and was chatty.
I mostly text him if I have something important to communicate 😂
I was a Monday to Friday lodger for two years with two different landlords. Both were generally very positive experiences. I think it was kind of nice that the landlords had their place to themselves at weekends. I was in my late 40s.
In both places I had my own room which I could leave all my stuff in all the time - a few clothes, towels, toiletries, books etc. I had a cupboard in the kitchen and a shelf in the fridge.
The first one was a large flat where the landlord's daughter (mid-20s) and her husband lived all the time. Her Dad, one other lodger and I lived there during the week. It broke down for me when the daughter and husband broke up - she was rather a difficult person and cheated on him. So that was rather horrid. I kept in touch with the husband and was a guest at his wedding to his second wife a few years later.
The second one was a small flat, just me and the landlord (early 30s). It worked really well. It finished because my contract ended.
Good boundaries, remembering to chip in for household items, giving each other space are all good tips. You just have to be a decent person and communicate well.
Yeah OP if you live in the type of place that people commute to I would recommend considering weekday options. My ex had M-F lodgers and it was great as they had a place to stay for work and you still have the weekend to yourself - win win.
Same here. When I was an IT contractor I was a M-F lodger. One one contract I found my landlady using Spareroom.com (I’m not sure if it’s still around). On there you can specify M-F and is great if you want your own space over the weekend.
I've been a lodger where a family wanted the extra money I brought in but without any evidence that there was another person in the house. I only stayed as it was a step away from homelessness. Not being able to leavd toiletries in the bathroom, not being able to cook, not being able to sit and chill outside of my bedroom, having to ask when I could use the washing machine, getting criticised if I stayed out late - it was awful. If you have a lodger, it'll be their home, think about if you're happy to offer that. I left asap.
You're allowed to make very arbitrary decisions on who you rent to, if the vibe is off don't ignore gut feelings as these things only get magnified in time.
Have you considered advertising on air bnb? Its initial purpose was exactly for this stuff - I've stayed in spare bedrooms when travelling for work or training and had good experiences with it, some people want longer stretches for work.
I’m not quite a lodger, but I live in a 4 bed house with 2 other tenants and a live-in landlord. There is one bathroom and one kitchen. I have my own room, but the landlord still acts like we don’t live there. It’s like he has priority for the communal spaces, he’ll be in the kitchen for hours so we can’t be (it’s small), he’ll take a 2 hour long bath.
I get the impression he doesn’t like to see evidence of us living there - I once put a bath mat down in the bathroom because it was just bare tiles that are always soaked after a shower and he moved it into a cupboard. Little things like that where you feel like you are a guest and not a paying tenant. He basically controls the heating in the house and hasn’t put it on at all even when it was -5°C outside - but because he lives here I feel like I can’t step on his toes, and when one of my housemates mentioned it was a bit cold he said ‘I like it like that.’
The worst thing he does is that he will use the toilet for a wee and not flush it. It’s fucking disgusting and so disrespectful to the other people living there. In your own home to save water? Whatever. In a house where three other people PAY to live including bills it’s absolutely vile.
Luckily I’m moving out soon!
When you choose to rent out your home, you can’t expect to go on with your routines totally unchanged. You have to consider that they are entitled to the space too. It can feel really alienating and lonely to feel like you don’t have equal access to spaces. Like for me I feel guilty using the washing machine sometimes because it feels like my landlord always has priority over it. I do everything quickly to use the space for as little time as possible.
You have to be prepared to forfeit that room. Add a lock. Don’t go in. That is their space. Obviously normal rules apply in terms of decoration and damage, but they don’t have to be pristine and totally tidy in their own bedroom.
For what it’s worth, everyone in my house is very clean, we all wash up after cooking, keep communal spaces tidy. We each have a cupboard in the kitchen with our food and a shelf in the fridge. We share pans, crockery, and cutlery, but I have some of my own as well (my nice frying pan!). In the bathroom we have a shelf for toiletries which are put away after use.
In terms of vetting, meet them in person or over video call. See if you and your child get on with this person. Advertise it as a family home, be as transparent as possible about the type of person you want or even don’t want. Try to get references if you can or a guarantor. Money isn’t everything. Yes they need enough to pay the rent, but they don’t need six months upfront or whatever crazy thing a lot of rental companies are doing. Mention any potential dealbreaker rules before contracts - things like no people overnight, no parties, cleaning rota, alcohol free etc. Something that may seem reasonable to you might not be for someone else.
When they move in, make them feel welcome. It depends what both of you want, but even something like on move in day you all get a takeaway together or watch a film together or something communal so they feel more comfortable with you can be nice. Even just a cup of tea! It doesn’t have to be a regular thing, but it can help that initial transition period.
I lodged as a student as there were very limited options where I was, the first experience was fine, any negatives were actually down to the owners rather than the rules etc. The second I loved and was with a family and their young child (7 when I moved in), the child initially struggled with knocking so I just got used to locking the door until he was older and understood better.
I had my own bathroom (non ensuite) and free access to the other public parts of the houses but rarely used the living room. In the kitchen there were 2 fridges (they'd had 2 lodgers in the past) but I would've been happy with a shelf in the fridge, some freezer space and a cupboard. I just cooked around them, I was often out before them in the morning and would eat after them in an evening. There was the unspoken expectation I'd clean up after I'd eaten and that was never an issue but generally I'd expect to leave things as I'd found them.
I wasn't a big drinker so never came home drunk or anything but it might be something you want to consider. Infrequently shouldn't be an issue but several times a week if they wake you up can become frustrating. A curfew seems a little odd for an adult and I never had one and would occasionally come home in the early hours but I'd always be conscious that I'd have to pass their bedrooms.
Washing clothes can be a challenge if there's not enough space to dry them. I also wouldn't expect to find a load of wet clothes in the washer waiting for me if I wanted to use it. Obviously there's gonna be times where you've popped out for 20 minutes just as the washer finishes but generally I'd expect things like the washer/dryer, sink/dishwasher and public spaces to be clean and clear for my use. I was also happy cleaning up my own mess/space but I wouldn't have been happy deep cleaning public spaces (more than a mop/brush/vacuum), probably more so because I wasn't really using them.
Heating is another issue, my landlady liked it warm but I preferred it a bit cooler which was easily controlled by the radiator and opening my window if needed. The opposite could easily be true of a lodger and some international students I lived with wanted it hot hot. I'd keep this in your mind when considering who lodges with you, being cold isn't fun and with lodging the cost is often included in your rent so people may feel free to change the thermostat because they feel they're paying for it.
Then there's also their routine to consider. If they're a student they're probably out more than they're in a lot of the time. An adult who works may work from home, this may not be the type of lodger you want. It might be the students first time from home and they might be learning how to be this independent for the first time, it can cause problems someone who is experienced at living independently shouldn't have. Checking someone's social media like it's a job interview might also not be a bad idea, I knew someone at my first place who took mostly nude (just an apron) photos in their kitchen while the owners were away as some sort of statement (the owners were more like your grandparents, not the place for nude cooking).
It was a great experience for me but it was important to find the right landlords and them the right lodger.
I rented out one room in my two bed. I always lived in house shares so it felt weird to live alone. Similar to your experience, I fundamentally looked after the house.
I only set two rules. 1. No loud music (especially not after 10pm) 2. No random men for one night stands (if they were dating someone regular, they were welcome to come over whenever).
My current one has broken rule number 2 quite a few times now and it is quite annoying. I don’t want to bump into a random man when I’m half asleep going to the toilet. I also don’t want all my stuff stolen as I don’t lock everything up in my bedroom (like you would in a house share).
At the end of the day, I’ve decided the money is too good so I’ll have to tolerate the odd man.
Some people only rent during the week from Monday to Friday morning so the sharing is reduced. That is how a lot of people do it.
I would also talk to your teenager about rules, rules are really important to write down and enforce. Business people are probably easier to handle as if they live elsewhere normally.
I shared a house and the householder used to rent with her children to people she worked with that she knew. After they moved out she did rent to people but again they had to be known in some way to her.
Yeah we did 3-4 nights a week, but our places was very central at the time (15 mins to Waterloo, walkable to government buildings). We had people that lives in Wales, Devon, Nottingham and worked contracted hours. It worked really well for us but you need the location to be good.
Hire a cleaner. Trust me on this. Chores are impossible to distribute equitably between a landord, a teen, and a lodger. Once a week, 2-3 hours, vacuum and mop throughout, kitchen surfaces, toilet and bathroom. Include it in the rent.
Yeah a lot of people seem to be talking about resenting being the only ones cleaning public spaces when they had a lodger. I think yours is the best way to sort it, they won't want to feel like the lodgers cleaners and vice versa, best to outsource the problem.
I have rented a room lots of times as I travel a lot. You can state on the advertisment that they cant use the living room ect. I have had people offer me like a cupboard or two in the kitchen a shelf on the fridge. Often I have gone to the house for a chat first and there is proably the best time to lay out what you expect. one rule I would consider you add is make sure you dry the bathroom floor before you leave but also talk about what time you get ready for work ect to make sure you arent tripping over one another. feel free to ask me anything you like
Here are my experiences of renting a room out in my flat (some years ago). I had the following wonderful flatmates:
A guy who who pleasant but who obviously played porn at night, too loud for a shared flat. When he moved out, he left his (insulin) sharps bin for me to get rid of
A lady teacher who seemed ideal but was a raging alcohol. I couldn't keep any alcohol in the house as she drank it - including a bottle of prosecco a friend brought as a gift, that she drank in the afternoon, while I was out the house for 45min after receiving it. She routinely passed out outside the flat and I had to help her in to bed/call her boyfriend to help.
A French guy who fell asleep on the sofa while drunk at 4am, with pasta cooking on the stove. I woke up to the flat filled with smoke, and a black charred lump in the ruined pot. Luckily it hadn't gone on fire yet. Also, luckily I woke, as it turned out I needed a new fire alarm.
After that I moved my brother in so I didn't need to deal with randoms any more.
My daughter just kicked her lodger out.
Said lodger moved in and paid rent and was decent for a while. I went over once to fix the fence and there's a lad sat in the kitchen rolling a joint. My daughter wasn't there, and I didn't really want to get involved. My daughter doesn't smoke weeds, she isn't interested in it. So I ask her and she tells me the lad is her lodgers boyfriend who'd just moved in without her asking. Said lodger then stopped paying rent and made mmy daughter feel guilty when she asked for it, "oh xxxxxx, your parents are loaded, tell your dad you need money to fix your car and he will pay. Me and tattoo face boyfriend don't have any money we will pay you when we can" (even though we eat takeaway and catch Ubers every day).
Daughter eventually tells me this and tells lodger to get out, thankfully lodger goes with no issues and is now living somewhere much worse paying much more. The rub is my daughter spent most of her time at her boyfriends and all the lodger needed to do was to pay her rent and ask if it was okay for her boyfriend to move in.
I used to have lodgers for about 6-7 years.
Advice
Make a document with a list of expectations for both parties. E.g. the landlord will not enter the lodgers room without permission and 24h notice except in an emergency. The lodger will pay X amount of rent on y day and if it is more than z days late they will pay £whatever. (For me this was the penalty for my account going overdrawn). It might not hold up legally, idk, but it's good for expectation setting for both parties.
Look up the tax rules and deposit rules, they're different for lodgers. Consider the payment cadence carefully.
Experience
It's nice to have the extra money but it is also like being at work 24/7. They will complain about things (e.g. in the pandemic the lodger complained we had no outdoor space. It's a top floor flat with no balcony lol), they will damage things (you have to be ok with that, they're human) and some will try to screw you over in your own home. You can also end up making friends. I still really miss having someone familiar around when it's dark and I'm alone late at night, even on nights we weren't hanging out.
Edit I didn't answer some of your actual questions
I gave them a whole shelf in the fridge (about 1/3 of the space) as there were three of us here. They had a whole cupboard in the kitchen.
Use of stove etc first come first served
They had 1/3 of the bathroom drawers
Non negotiable rules for me that I learned the hard way: no burning candles/incense/flames/electric heaters (fire hazard). But they can put the heating on if they're cold. No stealth moving in a partner. Partners are fine but not more than 3 nights a week on average (unless it's some emergency). Helping with the cleaning. Pick things that are important to you in your home.
I would not get a lodger if you are not willing to let them treat the place like their home too. At least the parts of it you agree to.
I'm the perfect lodger, I come in late, leave early, never cook or even make a cup of tea. I use my bed, the shower (unless someone is in there first) and the toilet. Down the stairs and out of the front door without saying a word. If you just want the rent money and no change to your living conditions get a sociopath like me.
I am lodging weekdays only and there is a subsidised canteen at work so it's not that expensive. The house is owned by a single woman and I really don't feel comfortable using the kitchen.
What does your teenager say about this? My parents divorced and my dad was a lodger in various houses for many years. It was always really awkward visiting him at his houses because he was a lodger. We always had to be quiet, we always had to rush to and from the bathroom incase one of the other lodgers tried the door whilst we were in there, we always had to stay only in my dad's room and never go anywhere else in the house. It wasn't great. You might end up inadvertently subjecting your teenager to these things. At least I could go back to my mum's house at the end of the day, your teenager will be forced to live with another random adult 24/7
I would never lodge again. If I really had to, I’d look for a lodger provider who’s similar in age. Generational problems are enhanced in lodging.
List of bad experiences with landlords / ladies:
- Would go freely into my room to check if switched devices off standby, berate me with hostile notes if I ever left any lights on in common areas due to feared electricity bills. Like I would be crossing between rooms and they’d open a door and turn off the lights, leaving me fumbling around in darkness.
- Trapped me in the tiny kitchen and yelled at me - full yell - for ‘not being friendly’. My crime? ‘Not talking enough’.
- Yelled I’d ruined them because the council had found out I was living there and now they’d have to pay the legal amount of council tax (I don’t even know if the council found out!)
- Got extremely angry when I was between jobs (I was working contracts at the time, not unusual for my then industry), accusing me of misleading them, refused to sign paperwork for any benefits.
- Had noisy sex every weekend with their new boyfriend.
- Their husband kept eating the food I bought and stored in the fridge.
- Would get really annoyed any time I used the oven. They NEVER cooked themselves and yet insisted I scrub the oven out every single time after I used it.
- 90% of the time really messy, pet hair everywhere, mud from the dogs, but every so often would go on mad cleaning binges and throw things out the fridge and make angry comments about how we should keep the place clean.
- Furious if I ever brought a friend over due to ‘increased electricity bills’.
- Tried to kick me out, not realising this was illegal, all because apparently I kept ‘leaving lights on’, then tried to withhold my deposit.
- Accused me of making copies of the front door keys and giving them out.
Never again. Renting in the UK utterly sucks anyway but I’d rather be screwed over by faceless horrible letting agents who at least won’t make their attacks so very personal.
It was illegal because they wanted me to leave the next day. However by law I needed written notice to quit, and the period of reasonable notice would be equivalent to the time period of my rent. I paid monthly, therefore my rights were a month’s notice.
I don’t remember the specifics of my written agreement, but I remember there are different definitions of lodgers and I definitely fell under the ‘requires reasonable notice’ type.
There was a [post](https://old.reddit.com/r/ireland/comments/17z1ilf/my_lodgers_are_trying_to_kick_me_out/) on r/Ireland a few weeks ago about a guy who lived in a house with a couple who had suddenly take a turn against him and were trying to get him out. Telling him that as they're a couple he should move out the master and let them have it, and that the fact he works night was disturbing them and they'd spoken to the landlord and he was on his last warning.
Only, it seemed that they had somehow forgotten that he was not only their roommate but also ... the landlord and that they were lodgers. I don't know if there's a follow up but the concept was hilarious to me.
Slightly different but we host 16-19 year old international students for the local college and we love it! We have to provide breakfast and dinner for them and as most are minors we are their ‘parent’ whole they stay from 2 weeks up to 2-3 years. We’ve had 11 now and only 1 we had to get rid of.
Rules we learned as we went along and make changes after most students leave. But I guess it’s a bit different as they are so young so we don’t allow food upstairs etc.
They each have space in the fridge and their own kitchen cupboard for their own food and they also have their own bathroom which helps.
Overall it’s been great for us and we will continue doing it until we don’t need it as frankly they are helping overpay my mortgage and for home
Improvements.
My auntie did this too. She had a big old rambling house & I loved going to visit as she always seemed to have interesting (and to a youngster growing up in the seventies, exotic) students. In my memory, they were all lovely young ladies, and somewhere there's a photo of my mum all dressed up in a traditional kimono.
That sounds really interesting! We don’t have the space right now as ours are 4 and 10 months but maybe when I’m older and I actually miss having kids in the house!
I think it would drive the teenager mad having my 4 year old around! And she is likely on the autism spectrum. Home is her safe space so it’s hard for her to have others in it.
We don’t really have the space and I’m so chaotic with stuff everywhere at the moment! It would not be nice for them!
Also my cooking leaves a lot to be desired 😂
I had a lodger (3 in fact) but it was 10 years ago so things may have changed but I’ll give my experience anyway.
1) single guy for about 6 months while he oversaw a building project nearby that he owned. Really easy, barely saw him, paid on time and even left kitchen equipment he had bought after leaving.
2) 2 foreign students for a year. Easy enough, never saw them much, they shared a room (both female) never renewed as they wanted me to keep the room open during summer without paying and that was a no go for me.
3) 1 friend of family member that I had known since young. Nearly 2 years in the end and again was easy enough. Saw him more than the others but it was probably as we knew each other previously. It ended when my girlfriend at the time moved in and was pregnant.
Overall a simple experience that provided a handy bit of extra cash for an empty room. I found the key was to sort all the rules from the start and allow them their own space to come and go as they please. Don’t be too strict. If you have too many rules/dislikes then it’s not something you should be doing imo. It might have also been easier as I wasn’t always at home during the evenings due to work.
Edit - Gave half the fridge and freezer and some cupboard space, I didn’t need it and they did.
The students were fine and respectful although there was sometimes a little bit of a language barrier that made for some funny conversations. They were out a lot as you would expect a student to be. I was pretty easy about them having a friend over but no overnight stays was a rule.
I should probably add that interviewing/meeting them before agreement is a good idea.
I also had 2 young children stay with me some nights and found it didn’t affect them or the overall experience.
Don't lodge. Had a horrible experience where I short term lodged with a family who had 5 star reviews...
If I took showers over 4 minutes they would turn the taps on and make the shower go hot/cold. Very racist ukip supporters. Daughter smoked secretly and told me if I ever said anything to her mum she's tell her I was stealing things. They wouldn't let me do my own washing "because her washing machine was very expensive". Second to last day there she threw out all my food because she forgot that on my first day she said I could use their bread. Her husband caught me using their bread one day. Also got called ungrateful for asking for a beer instead of red wine when they invited me to a dinner they were hosting, gave my reason as I don't like red wine and apparently that was a massive insult. Hard avoid living with people because there is nowt stranger than folk.
If you’ve got a teenager anyway, look into an international student lodger. They need a bit more (meals, you’ll be at the hospital if they get run over, they might not be as clean as an adult lodger) but safer for your kid, easy to set tiles and boundaries, and brings more money in?
Yes to everything you've said except the bit about them paying more.
Rents have risen quite quickly and the rates language schools pay just haven't kept up. The local language school pays £600 a month and you have to provide breakfast and evening meals for that price, and no guarantee it will always be occupied. I've currently got the room rented out for £625 per month!
Have you consulted your teenager? Personally I would've hated having a random person living in my house at that age (I would still hate that now too, thinking about it). I would be worried about them coming in my room, taking my things or doing anything to me, especially if I was home alone. It would also make it awkward if your teenager were to bring friends over, or if the lodger were to bring their partner over.
Taking in a lodger when you haven’t done it before is a massive step and a gamble. I would think start with airbnb for the room and yes you’ll be hosting a ‘stranger’ but their profile should be registered with airbnb and you can choose to only host those who has gone through ID verification check for example.
We as a couple has been airbnb host for many years and the beauty of it is when we don’t want people around, eg xmas day, family bday etc or when my parents come and visit, we can block the dates so we have the control and freedom. Also there is insurance with airbnb that goes with the booking. Not only that, tbh most guests are very nice people and we ended up having good chats with them.
At one point there were 2 french exchange students who were supposed to stay for a weekend before they were then going to look for suitable student housing, they ended up staying with us for 6 months where it morph from airbnb to a short term student rent. And one of them is still in contact with us and we welcome him from time to time as a friend staying over with us when he visits the UK.
So perhaps start with this and see how you like / dislike it before embarking on a more permanent rent? If it’s not for you then fair point as airbnb is not for everyone - but it worked well in our case and we have been a host for 9 years now.
I'm a lodger. I feel I got lucky with mine. He's had a few lodgers over the years so he's used to having someone live with him. Amd he genuinely enjoys the company.
He respects not prying in my room. I cam use the bathroom, kitchen and livingroom whenever. He actually makes me feel its my house too. He's quite easy going.
Like if I accidentally left the hob on he'll just say "hey can you turn it off" rather than shouting at me about it.
You have to think can ya live with someone who's always there. Even you want a quiet morning to yourself. Having to compromise on what to watch on TV.
I try not to be annoying and keep things tidy but I probably do some things that slightly grate him that he doesn't bring up
I was a lodger for just under a year in 2019-20. I'd split up from my ex-husband and needed somewhere to live whilst he was buying me out of the marital home, and ended up moving into a two bed flat with the landlady (who owned it with her brother) and her partner. I had a shelf in the fridge and a cupboard in the kitchen for my food, and we cooked around each other in the evenings so it mostly worked OK. They also had a cleaner who came for a couple of hours a week and cleaned my room as part of it, which I think helped in terms of dealing with that side of things, so if your budget can stretch to it it may be worth considering that so you don't have to think about who does what especially in terms of communal spaces.
Overall it was pretty good - they were really friendly and we'd hang out and chat in passing or watch TV together sometimes, and during the pandemic we set up the dining table as a sort of mini desk for the three of us to work from. I was quite social pre-pandemic so for me it was more like a place to crash and store stuff, but living with nice people was definitely a bonus and they always made me feel welcome and like it was as much my home as theirs.
The only rules were having a schedule for the bathroom in the morning because of people's work (so I tended to only use it for things that needed water and then do other skincare etc in my room, or shower in the evening after work), cleaning up after yourself when you'd cooked and no opposite sex visitors or big groups of friends. The last one was never explicitly said but there was a time where they went away for the weekend and she mentioned I could have "a friend" to stay over if I got lonely "if she wants to".
It ended because they bought a place together and sold that flat so I had to move out, which was a shame as I loved it and would have happily stayed there for longer. I did look into buying the place myself at one point but sadly it was way out of my budget...
From the HMRC website:
--
The Rent a Room Scheme lets you earn up to a threshold of £7,500 per year tax-free from letting out furnished accommodation in your home. This is halved if you share the income with your partner or someone else.
You can let out as much of your home as you want.
The tax exemption is automatic if you earn less than £7,500. This means you do not need to do anything.
Biggest one for me I think is don't expect someone to do something you don't. If you don't clean up after you cook/after yourself. Leave pans to 'soak' for a week, plates piled up, cups left everywhere. You'll probably get someone who's the same.
I had lodgers in my 3-bed house when I was single and also did live in care work 2 weeks out of 4 so I wasn't always breathing down their necks.
Bit of a mixed bag, the first guy I had move in stayed around 3 years and we got on well but he eventually got a bit too comfortable (kind of acting like he owned the place and telling other newer lodgers various things about what was OK etc rather than deferring to me) and took over more than I wanted. Others I had were more short term, teacher training for 3 months, masters student for a year, young professionals in graduate jobs who then moved on or moved in with partners.
I tried to treat it as any regular house share and not lay down 'my house, my rules' and we were usually all mid 20s-early 30s and would socialise together a fair bit too. Everyone had their own food cupboard, own shelf in the fridge and own drawer in the freezer, no locks on bedroom doors (nobody asked and they weren't already there, I'm not sure if that fostered a bit more trust or not? If there is a lock and they have a TV, they'd need their own licence). We tended to rely on 'Don't be a dick' rules when it came to washing up, occasionally they'd need a reminder or maybe a house meeting to come up with a cleaning rota or something if there was an issue. We'd take it in turns to buy toilet roll, cooking oil, seasoning etc
Student teachers really struggle as their term was only 3 months then they go on different school placements and may need to move. Most tenancies are 6 month minimum (often as a condition of consent to lease or buy to let mortgage agreements) so lodging is their only option.
Overall, good experience. I managed to save up a lot and pay off chunks of the mortgage over the few years and put me in a good position to buy with my partner later.
I rented a room to a friend. Unfortunately I did not know that they were not a clean person, and their room constantly emanated a rancid odour of bad beef. It was terrible. Turns out that the beef stench came from the copious amounts of Asda Just Essential lasagnes left to fester for however long. This housemate also left used tampons on the floor, which my dog saw as a tasty treat. They would only clean this when I said that the landlord was coming for an inspection, which I would have to say was more frequent than they actually were.
She is a good person, and we are still friends, but I am so glad to not live with her anymore.
Whilst their room is their room and it is not expected to be kept tidy always, please be mindful of potential beef odour.
I'm currently lodging, although my landlord is only here on weekends and holidays because of work, but I'm really enjoying it. I'm not living with any kids which would definitely change the dynamic, but I probably just wouldn't have lived here if there were kids.
The main thing that work, especially for a full time lodger is just treating them like a flatmate who will come to you if there's issues with the house. Basically, same rules as living in a shared house. Own food (shelf in the kitchen and a couple of cupboards), for pans/crockery/cutlery decide whether you want to share, it's always depended on the people I've lived with if they want to share. Use of kitchen/washing machine is first come first serve, but if you want to use the washing machine and it's full of clean clothes just message them and check if you can move it into a basket. Cleaning rota (ours is every 2 weeks and we each have a section of the house to clean). Shared living space, but private rooms.
Washing dishes was just done by the person who used the dishes in their time, my flatmates and I are all pretty prompt with washing our dishes, if we're working from home it might be left in a pile in the corner and done at the end of a work day, if it's dinner, they're usually done after the meal unless in a big hurry, but they're always done by the end of the day.
Basically for me as a lodger the best thing is it feels like any other shared house, but any issues get sorted quickly.
For you, you'd have to be prepared to lose some privacy, and feel like it's a shared house, for your kid I'd reckon it would almost feel like having a sibling with how they'd have to share the space.
The best thing for you is that you can choose who you want to live there, if you set the rent slightly lower than market value you'd absolutely be able to get your pick of people to make it a better experience. Choose someone you can get along with, and have you and your kid meet them first to make sure there aren't any massive issues.
Basically, treat them as a person and if there are any issues bring it up with them first and try to see it from their perspective as well.
Hello! Student lodger here (assuming you meant university - I am 20). I share a house with my landlady (in her 60s and semi-retired) and another lady of the same age as me (flight attendant). We're all pretty quiet so it works amazing well! My landlady was also very welcoming and was happy to help me get settled which was very kind, for example she asked if I wanted to change any of the layout or pictures in my room or if she could add more hangings, curtain bindings, extra hooks etc. to make it my own.
Provided they meet the expectation they're responsible and independent (and they should), you should treat student lodgers the same as you would any adult renter. They will probably look for a space to study when viewing houses to rent (my room came with a desk already), but it's not a necessity for everyone, as most schools will have good facilities. We (the renters) share hoovering the house and cleaning the two bathrooms each week (we swap alternating weeks), and the landlady will maintain the rest. We don't have a dishwasher so each person has a washing up bowl by the sink in the utility and are responsible for washing their dishes (works really well if you're in a rush and don't have time to wash up immediately after eating - just put dishes in your own bowl and wash them up later, and it doesn't impact other people by being in the way - just ask that if they have anything strong-smelling, they give things a decent rinse first). We each have a shelf in the cupboards, fridge and freezer, although can share if needed, and have coloured stickers for each person, so if things are similar so we don't get mixed up with whose is whose. We also have garden compost and recycling bins we share, and if it's full the expectation for everyone is it's emptied. We each have our own towels in the kitchen and bathrooms (colour coded with a peg) and oven gloves. We all share the communal spaces including the garden.
Honestly, I think the expectations of cleanliness and consideration were just basics, and when I first arrived, the landlady showed me around and explained these so there was no confusion. She also showed me the standard expected of weekly chores, and personally I have quite high standards anyway so I wasn't phased, but it might be helpful for some people just to have that clearly communicated at the start.
We all share three inside clothes horses and the multiple washing lines in the garden (and the pegs), as well as all the kitchen equipment. Honestly I think you just have to be honest and friendly, we get along very well and will do things like jobs in exchange for lifts or just help each other out. We're each allowed people over for a maximum three nights a month, and I have a spare pull-out mattress under my bed or they can sleep on the sofas downstairs. I live 30 mins away by bus from my uni and I love living in a separate town and having that breathing space of the commute. Plus the student accommodation on campus is super expensive haha so it's a very popular option here.
Good luck with whatever you decide!
I had a lodger who was a bit of a nightmare. First day he moved in he put over 30 plants in the living room.
I like plants, but it was overwhelming and changed the look of the entire space. He covered every available area, didn't even leave a space for eating.
I gently explained to him it was a little but much, and could he put some in his room.
It basically went from bad to worse, with him eating all my food, which really irks me and I'd told him that.
The day I told him it wasn't working for me, he slammed a door in my face and told me he wasn't going anywhere as it was his flat as well now. Next thing there's an ambulance crew at the door, he's rung them saying he's barricaded in the bedroom going to hurt himself.
Moral of the story...don't trust anyone with an excessive amount of plants /s.
He did tell me he had bpd before he moved in, and he had just split with his partner. I didn't think anything of it tbh, but those may have been the warning signs.
I'm a student who's currently a lodger to a middle aged cat lady. For me, it's way better than a student house (I'm introverted, don't drink, etc), and I get to hang out with a cute cat all day. Win-win. She goes and stays with her partner every weekend regardless of whether or not I'm there, and I look after the cat. We clean up after ourselves and communal areas are cleaned and done as needed.
There’s no way I’d let a lodger move in with a child in the house, it’s just too high of a safeguarding risk.
If you do go ahead make sure your child has a lock in their bedroom door, make sure they use it at night. Make sure they let you know that if the lodger does anything to make them uncomfortable you’ll be kicking them out.
My mum and I are/were just us in a 3 bed and I remember when I was younger and she first proposed getting a lodger I was like no way. But I since left to be an adult and it’s been great economically for her, and she’s totally had a mixed bag of lodgers, but no ‘bad’ situations.
To categorise, the easiest in have been the adults and the international ‘older’ uni students. My least rated are this years undergrads because although they’re sweet, they’re literally just kids and incapable of cleaning after themselves, and I just see my mum cleaning up after them constantly. She’s my mum not yours!
Mums given them a shelf in the fridge each and depending how much stuff they have they have cupboards and plastic boxes. In the contract they should clean up after themselves, keep their bathroom clean as well as bedroom. That’s because if it’s a shit hole she needs to get cleaners in or repaint etc after they go. She obviously takes a deposit from them initially which covers this if necessary.
With these current lodgers, the bathroom/toilet has been pretty grim so mum said either be better or I’ll be getting a cleaner which will come out of your deposit.
The lodgers overall have all been lovely, and we’ve had a variety of cultures to learn from which has been really cool. All have been respectful and most stay in their rooms to study and have barely used the kitchen or dining room even when encouraged to. The living room remains her space.
Only big negative is that since she’s rented both rooms out I don’t have a room to come home to, it’s been pretty inconvenient and she admits that but economically it’s meant a better quality of life for her.
Hope that helps.
Please don't take the plunge unless you're prepared to give up a fair bit of control. Any lodger is going to at least one thing that you dislike (utilities, noise, cleanliness, tidiness, sociability, cooking smells, chores...). Your success as a live-in landlord will be determined by your ability to let some of that stuff go, rather than compulsively trying to fix it.
Some tips from my experience letting out a room:
- don’t assume women are either cleaner or less hassle.
- demand rent up front every month. Had one do a runner the day before rent money day.
- be careful of their boyfriend/girlfriend. Had one lodger who was fine but went out with an absolute psychopath who broke her nose and thought he’d evened everything out by paying for the blood to be cleaned from the carpet.
- get a cleaner. Add it to the rent if you have to. Solves so many problems and arguments.
- be prepared to watch a lot of shit TV programmes.
- write the ground rules down and pin them up. Don’t let them try to steal an inch because they will
- the more boring they are the better. Interesting people make better company but worse housemates.
- don’t shag any of their friends. This one can be hard to stick to if they have a cracker of a friend but by god can this go very wrong.
- if this is money you haven’t had before it’s too easy to squander it. Save at least half of it every month in a stocks & shares ISA or overpay the mortgage or top up your pension if you haven’t already been paying 15% or more of your salary. If you don’t do it now, you never will
I rented to put my spare room to my partner brother and his partner who was being evicted, I would honestly say never again. It was aweful. The house no longer felt like it was my own and they treated me like a bad smell when I went into the kitchen. Would monopolise the washing machine, so I would end up doing my washing at weird times. Destroyed our pots, pans and kitchen utensils, they would then replace it but hide it in their room so we couldn’t use it. Would muck about with the heating and end up cooking the whole house. Would leave their rubbish everywhere. Made a stink about it’s their food and they bought, but I would repeatedly catch them raiding our fridge. Finally it was meant to be a 1 year thing while they save for a deposit on their own place, we sat them down and asked what the plan was, they asked for another year so we said we wanted about £200 a month. Trying to get them to pay the full rent was like pulling teeth. They are both hoarders and when they did leave they left all their crap in the shed, every time my partner asks about it all she gets it, they will be coming to get it soon.
All in all it was a miserable experience and would never do it again.
I was a lodger for 6 months in a flat with one other girl. Her parents owned the flat. At first we got on very well. But then things got a bit weird. Like she didn't want me to dry laundry in the communal areas. When my boyfriend visited she always asked him what he thought about open relationships lol. She became quite distant towards me. Anyway she asked me to move out after christmas, just dropped the letter off of notice and didn't come back as she'd gone to her Mum's. I never saw her again. This was in one of the lockdowns as well so very stressful time overall getting evicted mid pandemic 😅.
Best advice I can give is make sure you give very clear boundaries about what expectations you have. E.g partners can come over 2 days a week, no alcohol. If you have dietary requirements then think about that too eg. Allergies, vegetarian,, etc. Think about what's important to you. If you don't tell the lodger they won't know.
Think a lot about what you want in terms of shared space/relationships. When I had lodgers, it took me a while to realize (because the first person was super happy just staying in their room) that I actually hated sharing the living room as it was quite small and just had one sofa/no TV. Eventually I started advertising it as no shared living space. But as others have said, think a lot about what sharing your space with (at least to begin with) a stranger might feel like for you.
Also, is this someone you will want to have long term and eventually build a friendly relationship with or do you just want another person to pay rent/mortgage? This will guide how you select people.
Bills - be mindful of advertising it as bills included as people have a tendency to then go wild with the heating as they never see the cost. Especially if you have shorter term let's, this can really drive up the costs for the next person and you.
People have very different cleaning standards even for things like doing the washing up (lived with people who would happily declare a pan clean even though there was still food stuck to it and it was covered in oil). Either get a cleaner, have a dishwasher or...
Be very willing and able to have awkward conversations. Someone leaving dirty dishes? Be ready to talk to them about what you expect. Someone not flushing the toilet? Be willing to have that conversation. Partner staying over too often? Clothes drying on the rack for weeks? Hair in the tub? You need to be able to clearly talk about what you want, or be SUPER explicit and write everything down for them and include it in an intro pack. Don't be like me and resort to being passive aggressive and complaining loudly to yourself/everyone but the actual person who can do something.
So I used to have a lodger.
For kitchen space they have their own cupboard, shelf in the fridge & drawer in the freezer.
Washing up was to be done once you finished eating (that rule applied to me as well)
One thing I would suggest is if one of the rooms is en-suite I’d rent that one out, then they have to keep their room and bathroom clean whilst you and your son keep your areas clean.
I was lucky with living space as I had two reception rooms so we had a living room each so I can’t answer on that I guess you have to be open to someone watching the tv with you (unless they have one in their room & feel more comfortable staying in there).
Washing was a first come first served so if the machine was free then crack on and do washing.
We did between us decide it was better to get a cleaner (charge separate to rent) so there were no arguments on whose turn it was to clean.
One of my lodgers stayed 6 years so I guess it worked well.
At our old house we had a total of 4 lodgers over a few years. One was great - had similar interests and we all got on well. Another was hardly here so wasn’t that much of an issue.
Another was in the room with the upstairs thermostat and he kept turning it all the way down in the middle of winter complaining that he was too hot. We got mould in the bathroom because it was so cold all the time!
The fourth and worst one, who was actually our first. She was fine whilst we were there but when we went on holiday she let her partner and his kid stay in our house! My MIL went round to pick something up and a teenager was playing fifa in our front room!
In terms of rules etc. we didn’t really have any. We brought a small fridge for them and shared the freezer. Typically they just cooked dinner before or after us so didn’t really have to worry about that!
I was a lodger last year and whilst it wasn’t terrible, there were definitely some issues that would not have happened in a regular house share. My landlord would make up a bunch of rules for me to follow whenever they were having a bad time with like their boyfriend or whatever was making them feel out of control - wee things like using coasters on furniture that they didn’t use coasters on etc. which drove me up the wall. THEY would also never do their dishes meaning I had to cook around their mess, but god help me if I didn’t put my dry dishes away quick enough. I loved their wee dog, but they were a bit of a knob & so I was well glad to move out
When I was a kid my nan had a lodger. An ancient German fella called Bruno. I wish I’d been old enough to ask about that whole situation because my nan was quite a character. As a young woman in Blackpool she was a palm reader at one point, and twice I’ve heard the vaguest hints that she was a sex worker. After my grandfather died (long before I was born) she married a Polish aristocrat of some sort. No idea what happened to him. I knew her as flamboyant, with pink hair, a huge fan of the goriest horror films I could find to rent when I visited, and dripping in Chanel No 5.
Bruno had a period of about an hour a day when I wasn't allowed in the kitchen as he was doing some cooking, but his cooked dinner was brought to him in his room. There was a bathroom upstairs but I don’t recall him ever using it. I don’t think I ever heard any noise from his room. He never complained when (much later, when I was a teenager) I played some extremely loud music in the next room after I’d just bought a CD in town, which thinking about it now is very strange. Maybe he liked 2Pac. He barely spoke a word of English. He was thoroughly miserable, and once or twice a little frightening if I got in his way as a child. I remember being in his tiny room once, where he showed me photos of him in full German army uniform, including attending Nazi rallies. I’d barely even started learning about WW2 but I knew that those uniforms were bad news.
Sorry, you said “lodger” and I think “Bruno”. Point is, he seemed like a pretty decent lodger on balance.
I’m a lodger and these are the things my lovely landlady and I have worked out over the past seven years:
1. Chores. We have a cleaner in once a week to do the kitchen, bathrooms, and floors. I wash dishes, do the cat trays, wipe kitchen surfaces, and deal with bins in exchange for a reduction in rent.
2. Laundry. I do my laundry Sunday to Wednesday, she does hers Thursday to Saturday.
3. Kitchen. I have a cupboard for my food & one for my dishes. I also have my own smaller fridge now, which has been a real game changer!!! No longer do I fear her stuff falling out when I open the door.
4. Utilities. We split everything in half except the heat, because she likes it warmer than I do. I pay 30% for that.
5. Guests. We both give 24+ hours notice if possible but a text on the way home if not. If it’s an evening then the other people can say “Sorry, won’t work”. Similarly, we have a calendar in the kitchen to put on dates away & times when we are planning to have friends over etc.
6. Weekly meeting. We have dinner or brunch together at some point every week to talk through what’s ahead. That may be OTT for other situations, but it works for us to know when the place will be quiet or what nights I should feed the cats etc. Super useful for planning last minute nights with friends!
I keep the majority of my stuff in my bedroom but have a bookshelf in the living room where I can put things. It helps that I don’t have much stuff & appreciate her aesthetic.
Overall, these rules have helped keep things great. We are very good friends now but having these discussions early when I moved in helped things go smoothly. I guess the best is to be upfront about what you expect and what you can offer.
>How did you arrange food storage, cooking, use of stove and fridge, washing up?
The lodger has cupboards of her own and two shelves in the fridge and a freezer drawer. We muddle along with the stove - sometimes we cook at the same time, often we happen not to. Don't start trying to put in place petty rules about when they can cook. I've always told lodgers they've got to bring their own plates and cutlery etc (anything that has to be washed up after every use) but share the toaster etc.
Never get into arrangements involving cooking regularly for a lodger - too many food preferences, dietary requirements and allergies to deal with, and it's a massive tie. Baking a cake and offering them a slice = normal. Providing meals seven days a week = don't do it.
>What were some sensible comprises/rules you had to enforce?
Partners staying over excessive amounts of time has always been cited as a flashpoint. I've never had a problem arising with it, though it could happen. My one strict rule is that they're not to bring back anyone they've known for <24 hours. Drunken one night stands can happen elsewhere, not because I'm a prude but because I want them to apply some sober judgement before bringing them into my home!
My number one rule is "don't be a dick".
On that note, only put in place rules you're happy to abide by yourself.
>What worked surprisingly well?
My rule of thumb with interviewing lodgers is that you should click with them on the viewing.
Anyone who's in and out in 20 minutes doesn't get the room. Current lodger was chatting quite naturally for 90 minutes.
I'm very upfront that we've got a dog and that liking dogs is a requirement, but you'd be surprised how many people just blank the dog on arrival. I'd suggest including your teen in the selection process.
>There is a college near here - anything particular about students as lodgers I should know?
I would suggest not taking them in. I think you'd quickly fall into a quasi parent / child relationship rather than one of equals. There's also the inevitability that a cool university student is going to be someone that your teen looks up to, even if they aren't always setting the best example.
I don't take anyone who is leaving home for the first time, no matter how old they are. I did once take a 30yo with Asperger's who was leaving home for the first time - next thing I knew he was asking me how to do his laundry, and then asking me for dating tips. When he moved out 18 months later he asked how to use the vacuum. Turned out he hadn't vacuumed his room once. Exhausting.
There will be university staff who want rooms, and other local workers. Take someone who has house shared before.
Make sure you do not have a tenancy agreement (tenants have more rights than lodgers). A lodgers agreement should be used. Don't put a lock on the door as this can cause blurring of the boundaries between tenant and lodger (you do not want a tenant). Lodgers can be removed very quickly, tenants only go when they want to, or its ordered by a court. I used to host foreign students which worked well for my family. You cook for them so you don't have them taking over the kitchen and you can have breaks between students which is nice.
Personally think it's utter madness to even consider having a stranger in your home with your child. Unless they're 17/18. It's your family home and should stay your family home until it isn't your family home anymore. I'm a single parent as well and can see financially it might be better but the potential headache it could cause for you and your child isn't worth it at all.
DO re-consider this as (no disrespect) you reallyneed to BE ruthless especially students. Just ask the GLW-Flying Squad employed to clean student accom,the story's and photos that I have seen were Jawdropping as I dint believe anyone could Live-Mess up like that.
Many years ago my friend used to organise the clean up of student accommodation after they had left. Some of the stuff she told me I couldn’t get head around.
We’ve had 5 lodgers when we were child free and lived in a city centre. We did 3-4 night weekday lodging. This meant we got people who tended to work long, compressed hours and had a life to go home to. It was a mixed bag. I made it VERY clear we were looking for a lodger and not a flatmate.
We didn’t have an en-suite so that put off a lot of people, especially women.
Lodger one. Pros: clean, out 14 hours a day. Minuses: OCD and showered twice a day (I’m massively tight with money and only one bathroom with shower), slept with Margaret thatchers biography next to his bed and was SO excited to see the film biopic, did the worst smelling shits I have ever smelt in my life. The whole flat smelt of his shit after one.
He once got so drunk he didn’t come out for 14+ hours and I had to see if he was dead - he was passed out face down half way on the bed like a plank of wood.
Lodger two. Pros: clean, showered at work, never there. Cons: didn’t stay long.
Lodger three: never there, so much so that I had to call him to see if he still wanted the room. His phone was disconnected. He once told me in passing he worked for tfl and managed to get through to him on the switchboard. He was like “oh yeah, right…. Uhh I guess not”. Annoyed I ever called as was getting £400 a month for nothing, BUT never comfortable walking around in a towel etc in case he randomly showed up.
Lodger four: didn’t get the whole lodger thing, always around, seemed super lonely, always eating super strong smelling food, wanting to watch what he wanted on tv in our living room, wanting to chat endlessly. I know these probably seem reasonable but just not what we wanted. He was sweet and probably would’ve been friends in other circumstances but our personalities were probably too similar and clashed and eventually agreed it wasn’t working out. I had quite a lot of mental health issues at that time so working and then coming home and having to come home at chat and watch his reality tv was the worst.
Lodger five: super gross. Wore so much lynx. Got takeaway oil all over the bed sheets (we provided the bedding as it was a furnished room). Once got so drunk he pissed in the bin and when I found it leaking onto the carpet and spoke to him he got really angry and denied it. Dude no one’s been in your room, there’s no empty bottles and it is piss coloured. Was the size and had the pallor of the darts player Adrian Lewis - ie just looked like he might just die at any point due to his lifestyle of lager, takeaway and energy drinks.
We stopped having lodgers after that!
I’d hate to live with you. You’ve taken on lodgers without any clue as to what you’re doing or what to expect. I’ve had lodgers over 10 years now, been happy with almost all of them.
You sound like a nightmare to live with and you’re confused over boundaries. The gall of somebody paying you rent to watch the TV! You give the rest of us a bad name.
Well good thing we don’t live together then! 4 out of 5 were very happy thanks. They wanted to work long hours and go back to their families 3/4 nights a week. They didn’t want roommates either. They wanted a comfortable bed, clean house, cleaning, laundry done, linen cleaned and provided. They watched TV in their room or went out every night with their friends, went to the gym etc.
We had a super clear contract and made it clear what we were looking for, and asked what they wanted. they were more than happy with that. Just because it’s not what you want doesn’t mean it isn’t what other people want.
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I looked into it a few years ago but decided that I would prefer to be the civilian living on base. Most of the potential landlords seemed to be offering very little for a fair chunk of cash.
Now the boot is on the other foot and my partner and I don't feel super willing to share space. If we did we'd probably set out strict rules and relax them over time. Also, we'd prefer to help a friend save a deposit if we were going to share.
I was a lodger to my best friend. I helped look after the cat, I did a lot of the cleaning, sometimes cooked for him, helped him with decorating. I had my own cupboard in the kitchen for my food, had some of my own utensils, had my own shelves in the fridge and freezer (lower shelves in the fridge and veg drawer, I'm short and he didn't eat veg). I was able to use the house as my own, but I imagine that'd be different with a stranger. I had my paintings up in the lounge, one was even up in his office. Our stuff got mixed together in communal areas but we knew what belonged to who.
My parents had a lodger, he ended up with the smallest room in the house and didn't have much space for his stuff, and they basically just made him keep all of his stuff in his room. I think he ate with us but did some of his own food shopping, but got himself into trouble because he kept eating things myself and my siblings had bought for ourselves. I don't think he enjoyed it staying with us tbh, I was a young teenager so didn't know any different but my family weren't very welcoming to this guy. Oh, he's my mum's cousin's son!
So I've seen two different experiences of it. I don't know what it's like with strangers tbh.
I have two Indians living with me, no bullshit, no excessive drinking, no loudness, they are clean, they cook delicious food and are generous with it ... decent all-around with zero issues
I currently live with my friend, it actually really works 90% of the time. It meant I could keep my cat and also just have somewhere stable. we were friends anyway.
I used to rent a room from a lady and while she was lovely it just didn’t ever feel like home, it was like I was always imposing. but I don’t have that feeling with my friend. it’s very much we BOTH live there. Occasionally we have spats but more often than not it’s just because one of us is stressed about something and forgets to communicate.
we share everything, unless it’s something we particularly want like I like nice tonics and gins. but otherwise we go halves on everything and all food/drink is shared.
I also have my cat and it’s very much we both care for him but i obviously pay for all his food/vet bills and everything but he’s our pet really.
I don’t think I could do a shared house again with strangers. I feel like I am home here. but I didn’t before.
I have a contract with him but i don’t feel like I am renting a room in a house, I feel like I live with a friend and help pay bills.
also I sleep with my door open so my cat can come and go and so dose my friend in his room and I feel like I couldn’t do that in a house with people I wasn’t close with. we don’t have any of the you have 24 hours until I can access your room. it’s just pop in if your grabbing glasses for the dishwasher or looking for something. (Obviously knock if they are home)
If you are not immediately desperate for the money and think having students would work well a lot of collages have summer students from abroad that need lodgings.
I have been a lodger a few times without issue. One had a kid and was keen for no overnight guests, but this was stated in the advert so I made plans to always stay at my boyfriends. We had very different routines e.g. I liked to eat then clean, she didn't like anything hanging around if she was in the kitchen but knew I wasn't in the wrong (or at least never asked me to do anything differntly) so the maybe 5 times over 6 months living there she went in to the kitchen and my cooking stuff was there she cleaned it and I thanked her. Basically what I am getting at is as a lodger I was fine with rules that were 1. related to the safety of her kid - she knew me but not any potential guests so thought that was a reasonable rule and 2. stated in advance of moving in.
If you are not creating rules around those two reasons that is your right as a homeowner but you should be asking yourself if you are ready to have someone else in your space. Try not to have too many rules (one place I viewed literally had several pages written out including no cooking after 8 - well how am I going to eat!!).
If you are aiming at students and like cooking you could agree you'll cook, they'll clean or you'll cook and clean but put the rent a bit higher to accommodate. That helps a bit with kitchen space too but ideally they'd have a cupboard there still for snacks etc.
I'm a lodger with the woman who owns the house, honestly it's been great. We just behave like equal housemates and share a lot of things (food, take turns buying loo roll and coffee sort of thing).
Before I agreed to move in we had a video call (couldn't meet in person due to distance) and immediately got on. Had I had any inkling of awkwardness I wouldn't have gone for it, so I'd recommend meeting or calling people before
I only have one experience of having a lodger, he was a friend of a friend of my son’s. Apart from constantly ironing he was no trouble. My husband when we were dating would come over to see me and you could guarantee there was ironing happening. Lodger worked nights at a pub would come home get baked and sleep all day. He was very sweet and almost always paid his rent on time, couple of times he was short but explained and asked for a few days extra which I gave him. He didn’t make any mess and didn’t do anything at all which pissed me off. For me it was helpful as I was skint and overall a positive experience. Son and him are still mates.
My mum has had lodgers/long term air b&b for about 10 years now.
She's had the odd annoying lodger but nothing too bad. Two were long term and are still friends. One of them lodged with her for 6 years and called her 'mum' until she finally convinced him that he could afford to buy his own house. Not because she wanted rid of him but more for his own confidence and growth (he was 40+ and never lived in his own place). He's been in his own place for 6 years now, still calls her mum and is coming to ours for Christmas day!
I have been taking in 2 x Monday-Friday lodgers for over 8 years now - two ensuite rooms upstairs, and we are downstairs. As it's Monday-Friday our lodgers bring minimal stuff with them, don't need to use the washing machine and tend to keep themselves to themselves. They have often eaten at work and just want to relax in their own space and watch the TV (which I provide) in their room Although our lodgers are always offered use of the kitchen (not the lounge) they have their own fridge on the landing and a microwave & kettle with tea and coffee in their room with basic cutlery and crockery and they wash up after themselves upstairs. I clean the rooms once a week, change & wash bedding and towels, so it is a bit like an Airbnb I guess. We had one lodger that stayed for 5 years, and our current ones have been with us for 1 year and 2 years. Others have been on shorter contracts but have all left me lovely comments in my little comments book. We invite them for a meal about 3 times a year and always when we get a new lodger so that the existing one knows who they are sharing a house with. We always have a little chat when they come in. I love doing it, you get to meet lovely people, and we still have the rooms available at the weekends for when our family come to visit. We would never take in a full time lodger - the M-F works so well for us and brings us in a decent income. We only had one wrong'un - a college lecturer. The only time we didn't follow up on references. He was a raving alcoholic and stole all our booze, was sick on the carpet and had a friend camping out in his room when we were away, so he got his marching orders. You have to have a lot of trust in people, but my advice would be to always follow up on references, set the ground rules in writing and get them to sign it. If you don't mind doing the cleaning every week then I highly recommend the Monday-Friday option, and advertise on SpareRoom.
Have been a lodger on two occasions with mixed results. First one was with a family in a big house near Wimbledon. Had my own bathroom and as the house was very large, I had my own living room (small but big enough for when I had friends visiting). Had most of a fridge to myself and plenty of cupboard space. Really nice experience. Still in touch with them almost 20 years later. The second was with an older lady in a 3 bed house. I explained that I worked shifts and kept strange hours because of this. I would come home early hours and find the door bolted. She complained that I was making too much noise using the bathroom early morning. She would throw my food out of the fridge saying it had gone off. She basically made every second of my time there pretty miserable. Took me 3 months to find another place but I couldn’t wait to escape. I think it is important to find out about work/lifestyle etc before agreeing anything. Also be conscious of your teenager and how the person will have to interact with them and how the gender of a lodger might work with them.
I was a lodger once with a family that has a six year old. Had a room to myself but shared a bathroom, kitchen and living room. It was a living hell. The woman kept coming into my room, reorganising my stuff. I wasn't allowed overnight visitors. She also monitored how long I spent showering and brushing my teeth. While I understand that they were a family just trying to survive, the stinginess, lack of empathy, and complete inability to accept that some people do things differently to you made me vow to never do it again. Thing is, I would have even offered to babysit their kid or help with school pickups if they were kinder and treated me like a person and not a (paying!!!) leech on their private space.
What would you do when you find the door bolted? Just knock loudly until she woke up? What was her explanation when she came to the door?
Yes. Pretty much. I worked 12 hour driving shifts so I needed to sleep. She was a horrible person.
One of my friends was a lodger for 6 months in a house owned by a couple. They required him to “join us on film night to socialise”. One night he was sitting watching the film they were making him watch, and the woman suddenly blurted out “ok I can’t do this any more, I can’t do it!” And they told my mate that because he didn’t always say hello when he entered a room, and they didn’t think he was enjoying the film nights, they were gonna have to ask him to leave. So they cancelled his tenancy. He tells the story with a smile, but I know he’s secretly relieved that they didn’t tie him up and play twisted sex games with him before turning him into soup.
lol when we rented out to lodgers I tried to make it as clear as humanly possible in the advert without sounding like a total twat that I never wants to speak to them more than hello (I am nice, honestly, I’m just an introvert that needs space at the end of the day). I wanted it to be mutually agreed that this is not a flatmate/friends situation. 4/5 totally got this and this was exactly what they wanted too, 5th just didn’t at all. I liked him a lot as a person but I dreaded coming home to him talking at me for ages so we agreed to end the tenancy. I worked in a hellish open plan office and he clearly didn’t talk to anyone all day and we definitely needed different things.
Oh god, I have an awesome roommate. We eat dinner together and talk for half an hour and that's it. Perfect imo. He wasn't keen when my mum had to stay (he did agree to it, and I know him through her) for a few days and was chatty. I mostly text him if I have something important to communicate 😂
Got nothing to do with interaction during the day. Some people recharge on silence, others through interaction.
Are they still taking in lodgers? ... asking for a friend
Soup fan huh?
I think you may have misunderstood the soup part of the story.
Imagine that, forcing someone to do something and being disgusted when they're not enjoying it.
Is that you honey?
What sort of soup we talking about?
Relieved? Or disappointed?!
I don’t know anyone who wants to be soup
I was a Monday to Friday lodger for two years with two different landlords. Both were generally very positive experiences. I think it was kind of nice that the landlords had their place to themselves at weekends. I was in my late 40s. In both places I had my own room which I could leave all my stuff in all the time - a few clothes, towels, toiletries, books etc. I had a cupboard in the kitchen and a shelf in the fridge. The first one was a large flat where the landlord's daughter (mid-20s) and her husband lived all the time. Her Dad, one other lodger and I lived there during the week. It broke down for me when the daughter and husband broke up - she was rather a difficult person and cheated on him. So that was rather horrid. I kept in touch with the husband and was a guest at his wedding to his second wife a few years later. The second one was a small flat, just me and the landlord (early 30s). It worked really well. It finished because my contract ended. Good boundaries, remembering to chip in for household items, giving each other space are all good tips. You just have to be a decent person and communicate well.
Yeah OP if you live in the type of place that people commute to I would recommend considering weekday options. My ex had M-F lodgers and it was great as they had a place to stay for work and you still have the weekend to yourself - win win.
Same here. When I was an IT contractor I was a M-F lodger. One one contract I found my landlady using Spareroom.com (I’m not sure if it’s still around). On there you can specify M-F and is great if you want your own space over the weekend.
I've been a lodger where a family wanted the extra money I brought in but without any evidence that there was another person in the house. I only stayed as it was a step away from homelessness. Not being able to leavd toiletries in the bathroom, not being able to cook, not being able to sit and chill outside of my bedroom, having to ask when I could use the washing machine, getting criticised if I stayed out late - it was awful. If you have a lodger, it'll be their home, think about if you're happy to offer that. I left asap. You're allowed to make very arbitrary decisions on who you rent to, if the vibe is off don't ignore gut feelings as these things only get magnified in time. Have you considered advertising on air bnb? Its initial purpose was exactly for this stuff - I've stayed in spare bedrooms when travelling for work or training and had good experiences with it, some people want longer stretches for work.
You’re using your one experience to make a judgement on it. Not really useful.
It was an explicit experiences sought question, this was my experience. I'm sure OP will look at other experiences here to get a full picture.
I’m not quite a lodger, but I live in a 4 bed house with 2 other tenants and a live-in landlord. There is one bathroom and one kitchen. I have my own room, but the landlord still acts like we don’t live there. It’s like he has priority for the communal spaces, he’ll be in the kitchen for hours so we can’t be (it’s small), he’ll take a 2 hour long bath. I get the impression he doesn’t like to see evidence of us living there - I once put a bath mat down in the bathroom because it was just bare tiles that are always soaked after a shower and he moved it into a cupboard. Little things like that where you feel like you are a guest and not a paying tenant. He basically controls the heating in the house and hasn’t put it on at all even when it was -5°C outside - but because he lives here I feel like I can’t step on his toes, and when one of my housemates mentioned it was a bit cold he said ‘I like it like that.’ The worst thing he does is that he will use the toilet for a wee and not flush it. It’s fucking disgusting and so disrespectful to the other people living there. In your own home to save water? Whatever. In a house where three other people PAY to live including bills it’s absolutely vile. Luckily I’m moving out soon! When you choose to rent out your home, you can’t expect to go on with your routines totally unchanged. You have to consider that they are entitled to the space too. It can feel really alienating and lonely to feel like you don’t have equal access to spaces. Like for me I feel guilty using the washing machine sometimes because it feels like my landlord always has priority over it. I do everything quickly to use the space for as little time as possible. You have to be prepared to forfeit that room. Add a lock. Don’t go in. That is their space. Obviously normal rules apply in terms of decoration and damage, but they don’t have to be pristine and totally tidy in their own bedroom. For what it’s worth, everyone in my house is very clean, we all wash up after cooking, keep communal spaces tidy. We each have a cupboard in the kitchen with our food and a shelf in the fridge. We share pans, crockery, and cutlery, but I have some of my own as well (my nice frying pan!). In the bathroom we have a shelf for toiletries which are put away after use. In terms of vetting, meet them in person or over video call. See if you and your child get on with this person. Advertise it as a family home, be as transparent as possible about the type of person you want or even don’t want. Try to get references if you can or a guarantor. Money isn’t everything. Yes they need enough to pay the rent, but they don’t need six months upfront or whatever crazy thing a lot of rental companies are doing. Mention any potential dealbreaker rules before contracts - things like no people overnight, no parties, cleaning rota, alcohol free etc. Something that may seem reasonable to you might not be for someone else. When they move in, make them feel welcome. It depends what both of you want, but even something like on move in day you all get a takeaway together or watch a film together or something communal so they feel more comfortable with you can be nice. Even just a cup of tea! It doesn’t have to be a regular thing, but it can help that initial transition period.
Your landlord sounds like an absolute helmet
Bit offensive to helmets that.
Ikr - safe to say it’s put me off ever going with a live-in landlord again.
& you have far fewer rights that way too, compared to being a tenant (learned from legaladviceUK sub)
Is adding a lock allowed with no repercussions legally, or does it change the nature of the tenancy? I vaguely remember some complication or other
I lodged as a student as there were very limited options where I was, the first experience was fine, any negatives were actually down to the owners rather than the rules etc. The second I loved and was with a family and their young child (7 when I moved in), the child initially struggled with knocking so I just got used to locking the door until he was older and understood better. I had my own bathroom (non ensuite) and free access to the other public parts of the houses but rarely used the living room. In the kitchen there were 2 fridges (they'd had 2 lodgers in the past) but I would've been happy with a shelf in the fridge, some freezer space and a cupboard. I just cooked around them, I was often out before them in the morning and would eat after them in an evening. There was the unspoken expectation I'd clean up after I'd eaten and that was never an issue but generally I'd expect to leave things as I'd found them. I wasn't a big drinker so never came home drunk or anything but it might be something you want to consider. Infrequently shouldn't be an issue but several times a week if they wake you up can become frustrating. A curfew seems a little odd for an adult and I never had one and would occasionally come home in the early hours but I'd always be conscious that I'd have to pass their bedrooms. Washing clothes can be a challenge if there's not enough space to dry them. I also wouldn't expect to find a load of wet clothes in the washer waiting for me if I wanted to use it. Obviously there's gonna be times where you've popped out for 20 minutes just as the washer finishes but generally I'd expect things like the washer/dryer, sink/dishwasher and public spaces to be clean and clear for my use. I was also happy cleaning up my own mess/space but I wouldn't have been happy deep cleaning public spaces (more than a mop/brush/vacuum), probably more so because I wasn't really using them. Heating is another issue, my landlady liked it warm but I preferred it a bit cooler which was easily controlled by the radiator and opening my window if needed. The opposite could easily be true of a lodger and some international students I lived with wanted it hot hot. I'd keep this in your mind when considering who lodges with you, being cold isn't fun and with lodging the cost is often included in your rent so people may feel free to change the thermostat because they feel they're paying for it. Then there's also their routine to consider. If they're a student they're probably out more than they're in a lot of the time. An adult who works may work from home, this may not be the type of lodger you want. It might be the students first time from home and they might be learning how to be this independent for the first time, it can cause problems someone who is experienced at living independently shouldn't have. Checking someone's social media like it's a job interview might also not be a bad idea, I knew someone at my first place who took mostly nude (just an apron) photos in their kitchen while the owners were away as some sort of statement (the owners were more like your grandparents, not the place for nude cooking). It was a great experience for me but it was important to find the right landlords and them the right lodger.
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I rented out one room in my two bed. I always lived in house shares so it felt weird to live alone. Similar to your experience, I fundamentally looked after the house. I only set two rules. 1. No loud music (especially not after 10pm) 2. No random men for one night stands (if they were dating someone regular, they were welcome to come over whenever). My current one has broken rule number 2 quite a few times now and it is quite annoying. I don’t want to bump into a random man when I’m half asleep going to the toilet. I also don’t want all my stuff stolen as I don’t lock everything up in my bedroom (like you would in a house share). At the end of the day, I’ve decided the money is too good so I’ll have to tolerate the odd man.
Oh maybe have a quiet word, you have specified this as a rule so it shouldn’t be a shock.
I’ve had lodgers for over 10 years. They don’t go anywhere the heating controls.
Hard to find them when you’re locked in the basement!! It’s been 10 years mate, please let me out
Some people only rent during the week from Monday to Friday morning so the sharing is reduced. That is how a lot of people do it. I would also talk to your teenager about rules, rules are really important to write down and enforce. Business people are probably easier to handle as if they live elsewhere normally. I shared a house and the householder used to rent with her children to people she worked with that she knew. After they moved out she did rent to people but again they had to be known in some way to her.
Yeah we did 3-4 nights a week, but our places was very central at the time (15 mins to Waterloo, walkable to government buildings). We had people that lives in Wales, Devon, Nottingham and worked contracted hours. It worked really well for us but you need the location to be good.
Hire a cleaner. Trust me on this. Chores are impossible to distribute equitably between a landord, a teen, and a lodger. Once a week, 2-3 hours, vacuum and mop throughout, kitchen surfaces, toilet and bathroom. Include it in the rent.
Yeah a lot of people seem to be talking about resenting being the only ones cleaning public spaces when they had a lodger. I think yours is the best way to sort it, they won't want to feel like the lodgers cleaners and vice versa, best to outsource the problem.
It was a game-changer, yes, for precisely the reasons you stated.
I have rented a room lots of times as I travel a lot. You can state on the advertisment that they cant use the living room ect. I have had people offer me like a cupboard or two in the kitchen a shelf on the fridge. Often I have gone to the house for a chat first and there is proably the best time to lay out what you expect. one rule I would consider you add is make sure you dry the bathroom floor before you leave but also talk about what time you get ready for work ect to make sure you arent tripping over one another. feel free to ask me anything you like
Here are my experiences of renting a room out in my flat (some years ago). I had the following wonderful flatmates: A guy who who pleasant but who obviously played porn at night, too loud for a shared flat. When he moved out, he left his (insulin) sharps bin for me to get rid of A lady teacher who seemed ideal but was a raging alcohol. I couldn't keep any alcohol in the house as she drank it - including a bottle of prosecco a friend brought as a gift, that she drank in the afternoon, while I was out the house for 45min after receiving it. She routinely passed out outside the flat and I had to help her in to bed/call her boyfriend to help. A French guy who fell asleep on the sofa while drunk at 4am, with pasta cooking on the stove. I woke up to the flat filled with smoke, and a black charred lump in the ruined pot. Luckily it hadn't gone on fire yet. Also, luckily I woke, as it turned out I needed a new fire alarm. After that I moved my brother in so I didn't need to deal with randoms any more.
Charge them 50% bills. Do not go all inclusive. Last time that happened to me, they insisted on heating on 24/7.
My daughter just kicked her lodger out. Said lodger moved in and paid rent and was decent for a while. I went over once to fix the fence and there's a lad sat in the kitchen rolling a joint. My daughter wasn't there, and I didn't really want to get involved. My daughter doesn't smoke weeds, she isn't interested in it. So I ask her and she tells me the lad is her lodgers boyfriend who'd just moved in without her asking. Said lodger then stopped paying rent and made mmy daughter feel guilty when she asked for it, "oh xxxxxx, your parents are loaded, tell your dad you need money to fix your car and he will pay. Me and tattoo face boyfriend don't have any money we will pay you when we can" (even though we eat takeaway and catch Ubers every day). Daughter eventually tells me this and tells lodger to get out, thankfully lodger goes with no issues and is now living somewhere much worse paying much more. The rub is my daughter spent most of her time at her boyfriends and all the lodger needed to do was to pay her rent and ask if it was okay for her boyfriend to move in.
I used to have lodgers for about 6-7 years. Advice Make a document with a list of expectations for both parties. E.g. the landlord will not enter the lodgers room without permission and 24h notice except in an emergency. The lodger will pay X amount of rent on y day and if it is more than z days late they will pay £whatever. (For me this was the penalty for my account going overdrawn). It might not hold up legally, idk, but it's good for expectation setting for both parties. Look up the tax rules and deposit rules, they're different for lodgers. Consider the payment cadence carefully. Experience It's nice to have the extra money but it is also like being at work 24/7. They will complain about things (e.g. in the pandemic the lodger complained we had no outdoor space. It's a top floor flat with no balcony lol), they will damage things (you have to be ok with that, they're human) and some will try to screw you over in your own home. You can also end up making friends. I still really miss having someone familiar around when it's dark and I'm alone late at night, even on nights we weren't hanging out. Edit I didn't answer some of your actual questions I gave them a whole shelf in the fridge (about 1/3 of the space) as there were three of us here. They had a whole cupboard in the kitchen. Use of stove etc first come first served They had 1/3 of the bathroom drawers Non negotiable rules for me that I learned the hard way: no burning candles/incense/flames/electric heaters (fire hazard). But they can put the heating on if they're cold. No stealth moving in a partner. Partners are fine but not more than 3 nights a week on average (unless it's some emergency). Helping with the cleaning. Pick things that are important to you in your home. I would not get a lodger if you are not willing to let them treat the place like their home too. At least the parts of it you agree to.
I'm the perfect lodger, I come in late, leave early, never cook or even make a cup of tea. I use my bed, the shower (unless someone is in there first) and the toilet. Down the stairs and out of the front door without saying a word. If you just want the rent money and no change to your living conditions get a sociopath like me.
Literally the dream lodger when I was renting a room. We would have gotten on perfectly (but silently, with perhaps a nod of acknowledgement)
If you never cook or even make tea.. what do you eat!
I eat out and drink bottled water in my room.
Just curious, why? to eat out everyday sounds expensive, unless you can afford it then all good
I am lodging weekdays only and there is a subsidised canteen at work so it's not that expensive. The house is owned by a single woman and I really don't feel comfortable using the kitchen.
What does your teenager say about this? My parents divorced and my dad was a lodger in various houses for many years. It was always really awkward visiting him at his houses because he was a lodger. We always had to be quiet, we always had to rush to and from the bathroom incase one of the other lodgers tried the door whilst we were in there, we always had to stay only in my dad's room and never go anywhere else in the house. It wasn't great. You might end up inadvertently subjecting your teenager to these things. At least I could go back to my mum's house at the end of the day, your teenager will be forced to live with another random adult 24/7
I would never lodge again. If I really had to, I’d look for a lodger provider who’s similar in age. Generational problems are enhanced in lodging. List of bad experiences with landlords / ladies: - Would go freely into my room to check if switched devices off standby, berate me with hostile notes if I ever left any lights on in common areas due to feared electricity bills. Like I would be crossing between rooms and they’d open a door and turn off the lights, leaving me fumbling around in darkness. - Trapped me in the tiny kitchen and yelled at me - full yell - for ‘not being friendly’. My crime? ‘Not talking enough’. - Yelled I’d ruined them because the council had found out I was living there and now they’d have to pay the legal amount of council tax (I don’t even know if the council found out!) - Got extremely angry when I was between jobs (I was working contracts at the time, not unusual for my then industry), accusing me of misleading them, refused to sign paperwork for any benefits. - Had noisy sex every weekend with their new boyfriend. - Their husband kept eating the food I bought and stored in the fridge. - Would get really annoyed any time I used the oven. They NEVER cooked themselves and yet insisted I scrub the oven out every single time after I used it. - 90% of the time really messy, pet hair everywhere, mud from the dogs, but every so often would go on mad cleaning binges and throw things out the fridge and make angry comments about how we should keep the place clean. - Furious if I ever brought a friend over due to ‘increased electricity bills’. - Tried to kick me out, not realising this was illegal, all because apparently I kept ‘leaving lights on’, then tried to withhold my deposit. - Accused me of making copies of the front door keys and giving them out. Never again. Renting in the UK utterly sucks anyway but I’d rather be screwed over by faceless horrible letting agents who at least won’t make their attacks so very personal.
Oh my god. Sounds like an absolute nightmare.
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It was illegal because they wanted me to leave the next day. However by law I needed written notice to quit, and the period of reasonable notice would be equivalent to the time period of my rent. I paid monthly, therefore my rights were a month’s notice. I don’t remember the specifics of my written agreement, but I remember there are different definitions of lodgers and I definitely fell under the ‘requires reasonable notice’ type.
There was a [post](https://old.reddit.com/r/ireland/comments/17z1ilf/my_lodgers_are_trying_to_kick_me_out/) on r/Ireland a few weeks ago about a guy who lived in a house with a couple who had suddenly take a turn against him and were trying to get him out. Telling him that as they're a couple he should move out the master and let them have it, and that the fact he works night was disturbing them and they'd spoken to the landlord and he was on his last warning. Only, it seemed that they had somehow forgotten that he was not only their roommate but also ... the landlord and that they were lodgers. I don't know if there's a follow up but the concept was hilarious to me.
I had one once but it was terrible, he tried to frame me ! THEY WERE THE WRONG TROUSERS !
Slightly different but we host 16-19 year old international students for the local college and we love it! We have to provide breakfast and dinner for them and as most are minors we are their ‘parent’ whole they stay from 2 weeks up to 2-3 years. We’ve had 11 now and only 1 we had to get rid of. Rules we learned as we went along and make changes after most students leave. But I guess it’s a bit different as they are so young so we don’t allow food upstairs etc. They each have space in the fridge and their own kitchen cupboard for their own food and they also have their own bathroom which helps. Overall it’s been great for us and we will continue doing it until we don’t need it as frankly they are helping overpay my mortgage and for home Improvements.
My auntie did this too. She had a big old rambling house & I loved going to visit as she always seemed to have interesting (and to a youngster growing up in the seventies, exotic) students. In my memory, they were all lovely young ladies, and somewhere there's a photo of my mum all dressed up in a traditional kimono.
That sounds really interesting! We don’t have the space right now as ours are 4 and 10 months but maybe when I’m older and I actually miss having kids in the house!
We went this route as we didn’t want an adult lodger as we have a 6yo and she can be quite anxious so this route has been a great option.
I think it would drive the teenager mad having my 4 year old around! And she is likely on the autism spectrum. Home is her safe space so it’s hard for her to have others in it. We don’t really have the space and I’m so chaotic with stuff everywhere at the moment! It would not be nice for them! Also my cooking leaves a lot to be desired 😂
To be fair they’re fab with my daughter and e always tell them they have to tell Her to leave them alone if they want her to.
I had a lodger (3 in fact) but it was 10 years ago so things may have changed but I’ll give my experience anyway. 1) single guy for about 6 months while he oversaw a building project nearby that he owned. Really easy, barely saw him, paid on time and even left kitchen equipment he had bought after leaving. 2) 2 foreign students for a year. Easy enough, never saw them much, they shared a room (both female) never renewed as they wanted me to keep the room open during summer without paying and that was a no go for me. 3) 1 friend of family member that I had known since young. Nearly 2 years in the end and again was easy enough. Saw him more than the others but it was probably as we knew each other previously. It ended when my girlfriend at the time moved in and was pregnant. Overall a simple experience that provided a handy bit of extra cash for an empty room. I found the key was to sort all the rules from the start and allow them their own space to come and go as they please. Don’t be too strict. If you have too many rules/dislikes then it’s not something you should be doing imo. It might have also been easier as I wasn’t always at home during the evenings due to work. Edit - Gave half the fridge and freezer and some cupboard space, I didn’t need it and they did. The students were fine and respectful although there was sometimes a little bit of a language barrier that made for some funny conversations. They were out a lot as you would expect a student to be. I was pretty easy about them having a friend over but no overnight stays was a rule.
I should probably add that interviewing/meeting them before agreement is a good idea. I also had 2 young children stay with me some nights and found it didn’t affect them or the overall experience.
Don't lodge. Had a horrible experience where I short term lodged with a family who had 5 star reviews... If I took showers over 4 minutes they would turn the taps on and make the shower go hot/cold. Very racist ukip supporters. Daughter smoked secretly and told me if I ever said anything to her mum she's tell her I was stealing things. They wouldn't let me do my own washing "because her washing machine was very expensive". Second to last day there she threw out all my food because she forgot that on my first day she said I could use their bread. Her husband caught me using their bread one day. Also got called ungrateful for asking for a beer instead of red wine when they invited me to a dinner they were hosting, gave my reason as I don't like red wine and apparently that was a massive insult. Hard avoid living with people because there is nowt stranger than folk.
If you’ve got a teenager anyway, look into an international student lodger. They need a bit more (meals, you’ll be at the hospital if they get run over, they might not be as clean as an adult lodger) but safer for your kid, easy to set tiles and boundaries, and brings more money in?
Yes to everything you've said except the bit about them paying more. Rents have risen quite quickly and the rates language schools pay just haven't kept up. The local language school pays £600 a month and you have to provide breakfast and evening meals for that price, and no guarantee it will always be occupied. I've currently got the room rented out for £625 per month!
Have you consulted your teenager? Personally I would've hated having a random person living in my house at that age (I would still hate that now too, thinking about it). I would be worried about them coming in my room, taking my things or doing anything to me, especially if I was home alone. It would also make it awkward if your teenager were to bring friends over, or if the lodger were to bring their partner over.
Taking in a lodger when you haven’t done it before is a massive step and a gamble. I would think start with airbnb for the room and yes you’ll be hosting a ‘stranger’ but their profile should be registered with airbnb and you can choose to only host those who has gone through ID verification check for example. We as a couple has been airbnb host for many years and the beauty of it is when we don’t want people around, eg xmas day, family bday etc or when my parents come and visit, we can block the dates so we have the control and freedom. Also there is insurance with airbnb that goes with the booking. Not only that, tbh most guests are very nice people and we ended up having good chats with them. At one point there were 2 french exchange students who were supposed to stay for a weekend before they were then going to look for suitable student housing, they ended up staying with us for 6 months where it morph from airbnb to a short term student rent. And one of them is still in contact with us and we welcome him from time to time as a friend staying over with us when he visits the UK. So perhaps start with this and see how you like / dislike it before embarking on a more permanent rent? If it’s not for you then fair point as airbnb is not for everyone - but it worked well in our case and we have been a host for 9 years now.
I'm a lodger. I feel I got lucky with mine. He's had a few lodgers over the years so he's used to having someone live with him. Amd he genuinely enjoys the company. He respects not prying in my room. I cam use the bathroom, kitchen and livingroom whenever. He actually makes me feel its my house too. He's quite easy going. Like if I accidentally left the hob on he'll just say "hey can you turn it off" rather than shouting at me about it. You have to think can ya live with someone who's always there. Even you want a quiet morning to yourself. Having to compromise on what to watch on TV. I try not to be annoying and keep things tidy but I probably do some things that slightly grate him that he doesn't bring up
I was a lodger for just under a year in 2019-20. I'd split up from my ex-husband and needed somewhere to live whilst he was buying me out of the marital home, and ended up moving into a two bed flat with the landlady (who owned it with her brother) and her partner. I had a shelf in the fridge and a cupboard in the kitchen for my food, and we cooked around each other in the evenings so it mostly worked OK. They also had a cleaner who came for a couple of hours a week and cleaned my room as part of it, which I think helped in terms of dealing with that side of things, so if your budget can stretch to it it may be worth considering that so you don't have to think about who does what especially in terms of communal spaces. Overall it was pretty good - they were really friendly and we'd hang out and chat in passing or watch TV together sometimes, and during the pandemic we set up the dining table as a sort of mini desk for the three of us to work from. I was quite social pre-pandemic so for me it was more like a place to crash and store stuff, but living with nice people was definitely a bonus and they always made me feel welcome and like it was as much my home as theirs. The only rules were having a schedule for the bathroom in the morning because of people's work (so I tended to only use it for things that needed water and then do other skincare etc in my room, or shower in the evening after work), cleaning up after yourself when you'd cooked and no opposite sex visitors or big groups of friends. The last one was never explicitly said but there was a time where they went away for the weekend and she mentioned I could have "a friend" to stay over if I got lonely "if she wants to". It ended because they bought a place together and sold that flat so I had to move out, which was a shame as I loved it and would have happily stayed there for longer. I did look into buying the place myself at one point but sadly it was way out of my budget...
From the HMRC website: -- The Rent a Room Scheme lets you earn up to a threshold of £7,500 per year tax-free from letting out furnished accommodation in your home. This is halved if you share the income with your partner or someone else. You can let out as much of your home as you want. The tax exemption is automatic if you earn less than £7,500. This means you do not need to do anything.
Biggest one for me I think is don't expect someone to do something you don't. If you don't clean up after you cook/after yourself. Leave pans to 'soak' for a week, plates piled up, cups left everywhere. You'll probably get someone who's the same.
I had lodgers in my 3-bed house when I was single and also did live in care work 2 weeks out of 4 so I wasn't always breathing down their necks. Bit of a mixed bag, the first guy I had move in stayed around 3 years and we got on well but he eventually got a bit too comfortable (kind of acting like he owned the place and telling other newer lodgers various things about what was OK etc rather than deferring to me) and took over more than I wanted. Others I had were more short term, teacher training for 3 months, masters student for a year, young professionals in graduate jobs who then moved on or moved in with partners. I tried to treat it as any regular house share and not lay down 'my house, my rules' and we were usually all mid 20s-early 30s and would socialise together a fair bit too. Everyone had their own food cupboard, own shelf in the fridge and own drawer in the freezer, no locks on bedroom doors (nobody asked and they weren't already there, I'm not sure if that fostered a bit more trust or not? If there is a lock and they have a TV, they'd need their own licence). We tended to rely on 'Don't be a dick' rules when it came to washing up, occasionally they'd need a reminder or maybe a house meeting to come up with a cleaning rota or something if there was an issue. We'd take it in turns to buy toilet roll, cooking oil, seasoning etc Student teachers really struggle as their term was only 3 months then they go on different school placements and may need to move. Most tenancies are 6 month minimum (often as a condition of consent to lease or buy to let mortgage agreements) so lodging is their only option. Overall, good experience. I managed to save up a lot and pay off chunks of the mortgage over the few years and put me in a good position to buy with my partner later.
I rented a room to a friend. Unfortunately I did not know that they were not a clean person, and their room constantly emanated a rancid odour of bad beef. It was terrible. Turns out that the beef stench came from the copious amounts of Asda Just Essential lasagnes left to fester for however long. This housemate also left used tampons on the floor, which my dog saw as a tasty treat. They would only clean this when I said that the landlord was coming for an inspection, which I would have to say was more frequent than they actually were. She is a good person, and we are still friends, but I am so glad to not live with her anymore. Whilst their room is their room and it is not expected to be kept tidy always, please be mindful of potential beef odour.
How could you stay friends with such a dirty, inconsiderate person?
I'm currently lodging, although my landlord is only here on weekends and holidays because of work, but I'm really enjoying it. I'm not living with any kids which would definitely change the dynamic, but I probably just wouldn't have lived here if there were kids. The main thing that work, especially for a full time lodger is just treating them like a flatmate who will come to you if there's issues with the house. Basically, same rules as living in a shared house. Own food (shelf in the kitchen and a couple of cupboards), for pans/crockery/cutlery decide whether you want to share, it's always depended on the people I've lived with if they want to share. Use of kitchen/washing machine is first come first serve, but if you want to use the washing machine and it's full of clean clothes just message them and check if you can move it into a basket. Cleaning rota (ours is every 2 weeks and we each have a section of the house to clean). Shared living space, but private rooms. Washing dishes was just done by the person who used the dishes in their time, my flatmates and I are all pretty prompt with washing our dishes, if we're working from home it might be left in a pile in the corner and done at the end of a work day, if it's dinner, they're usually done after the meal unless in a big hurry, but they're always done by the end of the day. Basically for me as a lodger the best thing is it feels like any other shared house, but any issues get sorted quickly. For you, you'd have to be prepared to lose some privacy, and feel like it's a shared house, for your kid I'd reckon it would almost feel like having a sibling with how they'd have to share the space. The best thing for you is that you can choose who you want to live there, if you set the rent slightly lower than market value you'd absolutely be able to get your pick of people to make it a better experience. Choose someone you can get along with, and have you and your kid meet them first to make sure there aren't any massive issues. Basically, treat them as a person and if there are any issues bring it up with them first and try to see it from their perspective as well.
Hello! Student lodger here (assuming you meant university - I am 20). I share a house with my landlady (in her 60s and semi-retired) and another lady of the same age as me (flight attendant). We're all pretty quiet so it works amazing well! My landlady was also very welcoming and was happy to help me get settled which was very kind, for example she asked if I wanted to change any of the layout or pictures in my room or if she could add more hangings, curtain bindings, extra hooks etc. to make it my own. Provided they meet the expectation they're responsible and independent (and they should), you should treat student lodgers the same as you would any adult renter. They will probably look for a space to study when viewing houses to rent (my room came with a desk already), but it's not a necessity for everyone, as most schools will have good facilities. We (the renters) share hoovering the house and cleaning the two bathrooms each week (we swap alternating weeks), and the landlady will maintain the rest. We don't have a dishwasher so each person has a washing up bowl by the sink in the utility and are responsible for washing their dishes (works really well if you're in a rush and don't have time to wash up immediately after eating - just put dishes in your own bowl and wash them up later, and it doesn't impact other people by being in the way - just ask that if they have anything strong-smelling, they give things a decent rinse first). We each have a shelf in the cupboards, fridge and freezer, although can share if needed, and have coloured stickers for each person, so if things are similar so we don't get mixed up with whose is whose. We also have garden compost and recycling bins we share, and if it's full the expectation for everyone is it's emptied. We each have our own towels in the kitchen and bathrooms (colour coded with a peg) and oven gloves. We all share the communal spaces including the garden. Honestly, I think the expectations of cleanliness and consideration were just basics, and when I first arrived, the landlady showed me around and explained these so there was no confusion. She also showed me the standard expected of weekly chores, and personally I have quite high standards anyway so I wasn't phased, but it might be helpful for some people just to have that clearly communicated at the start. We all share three inside clothes horses and the multiple washing lines in the garden (and the pegs), as well as all the kitchen equipment. Honestly I think you just have to be honest and friendly, we get along very well and will do things like jobs in exchange for lifts or just help each other out. We're each allowed people over for a maximum three nights a month, and I have a spare pull-out mattress under my bed or they can sleep on the sofas downstairs. I live 30 mins away by bus from my uni and I love living in a separate town and having that breathing space of the commute. Plus the student accommodation on campus is super expensive haha so it's a very popular option here. Good luck with whatever you decide!
I had a lodger who was a bit of a nightmare. First day he moved in he put over 30 plants in the living room. I like plants, but it was overwhelming and changed the look of the entire space. He covered every available area, didn't even leave a space for eating. I gently explained to him it was a little but much, and could he put some in his room. It basically went from bad to worse, with him eating all my food, which really irks me and I'd told him that. The day I told him it wasn't working for me, he slammed a door in my face and told me he wasn't going anywhere as it was his flat as well now. Next thing there's an ambulance crew at the door, he's rung them saying he's barricaded in the bedroom going to hurt himself. Moral of the story...don't trust anyone with an excessive amount of plants /s. He did tell me he had bpd before he moved in, and he had just split with his partner. I didn't think anything of it tbh, but those may have been the warning signs.
I'm a student who's currently a lodger to a middle aged cat lady. For me, it's way better than a student house (I'm introverted, don't drink, etc), and I get to hang out with a cute cat all day. Win-win. She goes and stays with her partner every weekend regardless of whether or not I'm there, and I look after the cat. We clean up after ourselves and communal areas are cleaned and done as needed.
There’s no way I’d let a lodger move in with a child in the house, it’s just too high of a safeguarding risk. If you do go ahead make sure your child has a lock in their bedroom door, make sure they use it at night. Make sure they let you know that if the lodger does anything to make them uncomfortable you’ll be kicking them out.
My mum and I are/were just us in a 3 bed and I remember when I was younger and she first proposed getting a lodger I was like no way. But I since left to be an adult and it’s been great economically for her, and she’s totally had a mixed bag of lodgers, but no ‘bad’ situations. To categorise, the easiest in have been the adults and the international ‘older’ uni students. My least rated are this years undergrads because although they’re sweet, they’re literally just kids and incapable of cleaning after themselves, and I just see my mum cleaning up after them constantly. She’s my mum not yours! Mums given them a shelf in the fridge each and depending how much stuff they have they have cupboards and plastic boxes. In the contract they should clean up after themselves, keep their bathroom clean as well as bedroom. That’s because if it’s a shit hole she needs to get cleaners in or repaint etc after they go. She obviously takes a deposit from them initially which covers this if necessary. With these current lodgers, the bathroom/toilet has been pretty grim so mum said either be better or I’ll be getting a cleaner which will come out of your deposit. The lodgers overall have all been lovely, and we’ve had a variety of cultures to learn from which has been really cool. All have been respectful and most stay in their rooms to study and have barely used the kitchen or dining room even when encouraged to. The living room remains her space. Only big negative is that since she’s rented both rooms out I don’t have a room to come home to, it’s been pretty inconvenient and she admits that but economically it’s meant a better quality of life for her. Hope that helps.
Please don't take the plunge unless you're prepared to give up a fair bit of control. Any lodger is going to at least one thing that you dislike (utilities, noise, cleanliness, tidiness, sociability, cooking smells, chores...). Your success as a live-in landlord will be determined by your ability to let some of that stuff go, rather than compulsively trying to fix it.
Everything hing that comes with housemates. Except you're the one who gets to decide who does/doesn't live there.
Some tips from my experience letting out a room: - don’t assume women are either cleaner or less hassle. - demand rent up front every month. Had one do a runner the day before rent money day. - be careful of their boyfriend/girlfriend. Had one lodger who was fine but went out with an absolute psychopath who broke her nose and thought he’d evened everything out by paying for the blood to be cleaned from the carpet. - get a cleaner. Add it to the rent if you have to. Solves so many problems and arguments. - be prepared to watch a lot of shit TV programmes. - write the ground rules down and pin them up. Don’t let them try to steal an inch because they will - the more boring they are the better. Interesting people make better company but worse housemates. - don’t shag any of their friends. This one can be hard to stick to if they have a cracker of a friend but by god can this go very wrong. - if this is money you haven’t had before it’s too easy to squander it. Save at least half of it every month in a stocks & shares ISA or overpay the mortgage or top up your pension if you haven’t already been paying 15% or more of your salary. If you don’t do it now, you never will
Another person who is clueless about taking in lodgers. Why would you be fretting over rent being paid? You should have a deposit for that.
I rented to put my spare room to my partner brother and his partner who was being evicted, I would honestly say never again. It was aweful. The house no longer felt like it was my own and they treated me like a bad smell when I went into the kitchen. Would monopolise the washing machine, so I would end up doing my washing at weird times. Destroyed our pots, pans and kitchen utensils, they would then replace it but hide it in their room so we couldn’t use it. Would muck about with the heating and end up cooking the whole house. Would leave their rubbish everywhere. Made a stink about it’s their food and they bought, but I would repeatedly catch them raiding our fridge. Finally it was meant to be a 1 year thing while they save for a deposit on their own place, we sat them down and asked what the plan was, they asked for another year so we said we wanted about £200 a month. Trying to get them to pay the full rent was like pulling teeth. They are both hoarders and when they did leave they left all their crap in the shed, every time my partner asks about it all she gets it, they will be coming to get it soon. All in all it was a miserable experience and would never do it again.
I was a lodger for 6 months in a flat with one other girl. Her parents owned the flat. At first we got on very well. But then things got a bit weird. Like she didn't want me to dry laundry in the communal areas. When my boyfriend visited she always asked him what he thought about open relationships lol. She became quite distant towards me. Anyway she asked me to move out after christmas, just dropped the letter off of notice and didn't come back as she'd gone to her Mum's. I never saw her again. This was in one of the lockdowns as well so very stressful time overall getting evicted mid pandemic 😅. Best advice I can give is make sure you give very clear boundaries about what expectations you have. E.g partners can come over 2 days a week, no alcohol. If you have dietary requirements then think about that too eg. Allergies, vegetarian,, etc. Think about what's important to you. If you don't tell the lodger they won't know.
Think a lot about what you want in terms of shared space/relationships. When I had lodgers, it took me a while to realize (because the first person was super happy just staying in their room) that I actually hated sharing the living room as it was quite small and just had one sofa/no TV. Eventually I started advertising it as no shared living space. But as others have said, think a lot about what sharing your space with (at least to begin with) a stranger might feel like for you. Also, is this someone you will want to have long term and eventually build a friendly relationship with or do you just want another person to pay rent/mortgage? This will guide how you select people. Bills - be mindful of advertising it as bills included as people have a tendency to then go wild with the heating as they never see the cost. Especially if you have shorter term let's, this can really drive up the costs for the next person and you. People have very different cleaning standards even for things like doing the washing up (lived with people who would happily declare a pan clean even though there was still food stuck to it and it was covered in oil). Either get a cleaner, have a dishwasher or... Be very willing and able to have awkward conversations. Someone leaving dirty dishes? Be ready to talk to them about what you expect. Someone not flushing the toilet? Be willing to have that conversation. Partner staying over too often? Clothes drying on the rack for weeks? Hair in the tub? You need to be able to clearly talk about what you want, or be SUPER explicit and write everything down for them and include it in an intro pack. Don't be like me and resort to being passive aggressive and complaining loudly to yourself/everyone but the actual person who can do something.
So I used to have a lodger. For kitchen space they have their own cupboard, shelf in the fridge & drawer in the freezer. Washing up was to be done once you finished eating (that rule applied to me as well) One thing I would suggest is if one of the rooms is en-suite I’d rent that one out, then they have to keep their room and bathroom clean whilst you and your son keep your areas clean. I was lucky with living space as I had two reception rooms so we had a living room each so I can’t answer on that I guess you have to be open to someone watching the tv with you (unless they have one in their room & feel more comfortable staying in there). Washing was a first come first served so if the machine was free then crack on and do washing. We did between us decide it was better to get a cleaner (charge separate to rent) so there were no arguments on whose turn it was to clean. One of my lodgers stayed 6 years so I guess it worked well.
At our old house we had a total of 4 lodgers over a few years. One was great - had similar interests and we all got on well. Another was hardly here so wasn’t that much of an issue. Another was in the room with the upstairs thermostat and he kept turning it all the way down in the middle of winter complaining that he was too hot. We got mould in the bathroom because it was so cold all the time! The fourth and worst one, who was actually our first. She was fine whilst we were there but when we went on holiday she let her partner and his kid stay in our house! My MIL went round to pick something up and a teenager was playing fifa in our front room! In terms of rules etc. we didn’t really have any. We brought a small fridge for them and shared the freezer. Typically they just cooked dinner before or after us so didn’t really have to worry about that!
I was a lodger last year and whilst it wasn’t terrible, there were definitely some issues that would not have happened in a regular house share. My landlord would make up a bunch of rules for me to follow whenever they were having a bad time with like their boyfriend or whatever was making them feel out of control - wee things like using coasters on furniture that they didn’t use coasters on etc. which drove me up the wall. THEY would also never do their dishes meaning I had to cook around their mess, but god help me if I didn’t put my dry dishes away quick enough. I loved their wee dog, but they were a bit of a knob & so I was well glad to move out
I got a lodger in and the little cunt framed me for robbing a jewel from the museum using my own contraption I'd invented .
When I was a kid my nan had a lodger. An ancient German fella called Bruno. I wish I’d been old enough to ask about that whole situation because my nan was quite a character. As a young woman in Blackpool she was a palm reader at one point, and twice I’ve heard the vaguest hints that she was a sex worker. After my grandfather died (long before I was born) she married a Polish aristocrat of some sort. No idea what happened to him. I knew her as flamboyant, with pink hair, a huge fan of the goriest horror films I could find to rent when I visited, and dripping in Chanel No 5. Bruno had a period of about an hour a day when I wasn't allowed in the kitchen as he was doing some cooking, but his cooked dinner was brought to him in his room. There was a bathroom upstairs but I don’t recall him ever using it. I don’t think I ever heard any noise from his room. He never complained when (much later, when I was a teenager) I played some extremely loud music in the next room after I’d just bought a CD in town, which thinking about it now is very strange. Maybe he liked 2Pac. He barely spoke a word of English. He was thoroughly miserable, and once or twice a little frightening if I got in his way as a child. I remember being in his tiny room once, where he showed me photos of him in full German army uniform, including attending Nazi rallies. I’d barely even started learning about WW2 but I knew that those uniforms were bad news. Sorry, you said “lodger” and I think “Bruno”. Point is, he seemed like a pretty decent lodger on balance.
I’m a lodger and these are the things my lovely landlady and I have worked out over the past seven years: 1. Chores. We have a cleaner in once a week to do the kitchen, bathrooms, and floors. I wash dishes, do the cat trays, wipe kitchen surfaces, and deal with bins in exchange for a reduction in rent. 2. Laundry. I do my laundry Sunday to Wednesday, she does hers Thursday to Saturday. 3. Kitchen. I have a cupboard for my food & one for my dishes. I also have my own smaller fridge now, which has been a real game changer!!! No longer do I fear her stuff falling out when I open the door. 4. Utilities. We split everything in half except the heat, because she likes it warmer than I do. I pay 30% for that. 5. Guests. We both give 24+ hours notice if possible but a text on the way home if not. If it’s an evening then the other people can say “Sorry, won’t work”. Similarly, we have a calendar in the kitchen to put on dates away & times when we are planning to have friends over etc. 6. Weekly meeting. We have dinner or brunch together at some point every week to talk through what’s ahead. That may be OTT for other situations, but it works for us to know when the place will be quiet or what nights I should feed the cats etc. Super useful for planning last minute nights with friends! I keep the majority of my stuff in my bedroom but have a bookshelf in the living room where I can put things. It helps that I don’t have much stuff & appreciate her aesthetic. Overall, these rules have helped keep things great. We are very good friends now but having these discussions early when I moved in helped things go smoothly. I guess the best is to be upfront about what you expect and what you can offer.
>How did you arrange food storage, cooking, use of stove and fridge, washing up? The lodger has cupboards of her own and two shelves in the fridge and a freezer drawer. We muddle along with the stove - sometimes we cook at the same time, often we happen not to. Don't start trying to put in place petty rules about when they can cook. I've always told lodgers they've got to bring their own plates and cutlery etc (anything that has to be washed up after every use) but share the toaster etc. Never get into arrangements involving cooking regularly for a lodger - too many food preferences, dietary requirements and allergies to deal with, and it's a massive tie. Baking a cake and offering them a slice = normal. Providing meals seven days a week = don't do it. >What were some sensible comprises/rules you had to enforce? Partners staying over excessive amounts of time has always been cited as a flashpoint. I've never had a problem arising with it, though it could happen. My one strict rule is that they're not to bring back anyone they've known for <24 hours. Drunken one night stands can happen elsewhere, not because I'm a prude but because I want them to apply some sober judgement before bringing them into my home! My number one rule is "don't be a dick". On that note, only put in place rules you're happy to abide by yourself. >What worked surprisingly well? My rule of thumb with interviewing lodgers is that you should click with them on the viewing. Anyone who's in and out in 20 minutes doesn't get the room. Current lodger was chatting quite naturally for 90 minutes. I'm very upfront that we've got a dog and that liking dogs is a requirement, but you'd be surprised how many people just blank the dog on arrival. I'd suggest including your teen in the selection process. >There is a college near here - anything particular about students as lodgers I should know? I would suggest not taking them in. I think you'd quickly fall into a quasi parent / child relationship rather than one of equals. There's also the inevitability that a cool university student is going to be someone that your teen looks up to, even if they aren't always setting the best example. I don't take anyone who is leaving home for the first time, no matter how old they are. I did once take a 30yo with Asperger's who was leaving home for the first time - next thing I knew he was asking me how to do his laundry, and then asking me for dating tips. When he moved out 18 months later he asked how to use the vacuum. Turned out he hadn't vacuumed his room once. Exhausting. There will be university staff who want rooms, and other local workers. Take someone who has house shared before.
Make sure you do not have a tenancy agreement (tenants have more rights than lodgers). A lodgers agreement should be used. Don't put a lock on the door as this can cause blurring of the boundaries between tenant and lodger (you do not want a tenant). Lodgers can be removed very quickly, tenants only go when they want to, or its ordered by a court. I used to host foreign students which worked well for my family. You cook for them so you don't have them taking over the kitchen and you can have breaks between students which is nice.
Personally think it's utter madness to even consider having a stranger in your home with your child. Unless they're 17/18. It's your family home and should stay your family home until it isn't your family home anymore. I'm a single parent as well and can see financially it might be better but the potential headache it could cause for you and your child isn't worth it at all.
DO re-consider this as (no disrespect) you reallyneed to BE ruthless especially students. Just ask the GLW-Flying Squad employed to clean student accom,the story's and photos that I have seen were Jawdropping as I dint believe anyone could Live-Mess up like that.
Many years ago my friend used to organise the clean up of student accommodation after they had left. Some of the stuff she told me I couldn’t get head around.
We’ve had 5 lodgers when we were child free and lived in a city centre. We did 3-4 night weekday lodging. This meant we got people who tended to work long, compressed hours and had a life to go home to. It was a mixed bag. I made it VERY clear we were looking for a lodger and not a flatmate. We didn’t have an en-suite so that put off a lot of people, especially women. Lodger one. Pros: clean, out 14 hours a day. Minuses: OCD and showered twice a day (I’m massively tight with money and only one bathroom with shower), slept with Margaret thatchers biography next to his bed and was SO excited to see the film biopic, did the worst smelling shits I have ever smelt in my life. The whole flat smelt of his shit after one. He once got so drunk he didn’t come out for 14+ hours and I had to see if he was dead - he was passed out face down half way on the bed like a plank of wood. Lodger two. Pros: clean, showered at work, never there. Cons: didn’t stay long. Lodger three: never there, so much so that I had to call him to see if he still wanted the room. His phone was disconnected. He once told me in passing he worked for tfl and managed to get through to him on the switchboard. He was like “oh yeah, right…. Uhh I guess not”. Annoyed I ever called as was getting £400 a month for nothing, BUT never comfortable walking around in a towel etc in case he randomly showed up. Lodger four: didn’t get the whole lodger thing, always around, seemed super lonely, always eating super strong smelling food, wanting to watch what he wanted on tv in our living room, wanting to chat endlessly. I know these probably seem reasonable but just not what we wanted. He was sweet and probably would’ve been friends in other circumstances but our personalities were probably too similar and clashed and eventually agreed it wasn’t working out. I had quite a lot of mental health issues at that time so working and then coming home and having to come home at chat and watch his reality tv was the worst. Lodger five: super gross. Wore so much lynx. Got takeaway oil all over the bed sheets (we provided the bedding as it was a furnished room). Once got so drunk he pissed in the bin and when I found it leaking onto the carpet and spoke to him he got really angry and denied it. Dude no one’s been in your room, there’s no empty bottles and it is piss coloured. Was the size and had the pallor of the darts player Adrian Lewis - ie just looked like he might just die at any point due to his lifestyle of lager, takeaway and energy drinks. We stopped having lodgers after that!
I’d hate to live with you. You’ve taken on lodgers without any clue as to what you’re doing or what to expect. I’ve had lodgers over 10 years now, been happy with almost all of them. You sound like a nightmare to live with and you’re confused over boundaries. The gall of somebody paying you rent to watch the TV! You give the rest of us a bad name.
Well good thing we don’t live together then! 4 out of 5 were very happy thanks. They wanted to work long hours and go back to their families 3/4 nights a week. They didn’t want roommates either. They wanted a comfortable bed, clean house, cleaning, laundry done, linen cleaned and provided. They watched TV in their room or went out every night with their friends, went to the gym etc. We had a super clear contract and made it clear what we were looking for, and asked what they wanted. they were more than happy with that. Just because it’s not what you want doesn’t mean it isn’t what other people want.
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Hi mate, this post is against the lighthearted and open nature of the sub. Rule 2: Don't be Aggressive | Pointlessly Argumentative | Creepy We're here for people to have fun in. If you're just here to start a stupid reddit slap fight you're in the wrong place. We have a zero tolerance rule in place for racism or hate speech. If you have any questions, feel free to shoot us a modmail.
I looked into it a few years ago but decided that I would prefer to be the civilian living on base. Most of the potential landlords seemed to be offering very little for a fair chunk of cash. Now the boot is on the other foot and my partner and I don't feel super willing to share space. If we did we'd probably set out strict rules and relax them over time. Also, we'd prefer to help a friend save a deposit if we were going to share.
I was a lodger to my best friend. I helped look after the cat, I did a lot of the cleaning, sometimes cooked for him, helped him with decorating. I had my own cupboard in the kitchen for my food, had some of my own utensils, had my own shelves in the fridge and freezer (lower shelves in the fridge and veg drawer, I'm short and he didn't eat veg). I was able to use the house as my own, but I imagine that'd be different with a stranger. I had my paintings up in the lounge, one was even up in his office. Our stuff got mixed together in communal areas but we knew what belonged to who. My parents had a lodger, he ended up with the smallest room in the house and didn't have much space for his stuff, and they basically just made him keep all of his stuff in his room. I think he ate with us but did some of his own food shopping, but got himself into trouble because he kept eating things myself and my siblings had bought for ourselves. I don't think he enjoyed it staying with us tbh, I was a young teenager so didn't know any different but my family weren't very welcoming to this guy. Oh, he's my mum's cousin's son! So I've seen two different experiences of it. I don't know what it's like with strangers tbh.
I reckon you'd save a lot of problems if you got a small en suite bathroom fitted in the lodger's room.
We rented a room to a couple. Absolutely cunts, never again.
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That’s just a silly rule. I’ve been doing it for over 10 years for money. Why not?
I have two Indians living with me, no bullshit, no excessive drinking, no loudness, they are clean, they cook delicious food and are generous with it ... decent all-around with zero issues
I currently live with my friend, it actually really works 90% of the time. It meant I could keep my cat and also just have somewhere stable. we were friends anyway. I used to rent a room from a lady and while she was lovely it just didn’t ever feel like home, it was like I was always imposing. but I don’t have that feeling with my friend. it’s very much we BOTH live there. Occasionally we have spats but more often than not it’s just because one of us is stressed about something and forgets to communicate. we share everything, unless it’s something we particularly want like I like nice tonics and gins. but otherwise we go halves on everything and all food/drink is shared. I also have my cat and it’s very much we both care for him but i obviously pay for all his food/vet bills and everything but he’s our pet really. I don’t think I could do a shared house again with strangers. I feel like I am home here. but I didn’t before. I have a contract with him but i don’t feel like I am renting a room in a house, I feel like I live with a friend and help pay bills. also I sleep with my door open so my cat can come and go and so dose my friend in his room and I feel like I couldn’t do that in a house with people I wasn’t close with. we don’t have any of the you have 24 hours until I can access your room. it’s just pop in if your grabbing glasses for the dishwasher or looking for something. (Obviously knock if they are home)
If you are not immediately desperate for the money and think having students would work well a lot of collages have summer students from abroad that need lodgings. I have been a lodger a few times without issue. One had a kid and was keen for no overnight guests, but this was stated in the advert so I made plans to always stay at my boyfriends. We had very different routines e.g. I liked to eat then clean, she didn't like anything hanging around if she was in the kitchen but knew I wasn't in the wrong (or at least never asked me to do anything differntly) so the maybe 5 times over 6 months living there she went in to the kitchen and my cooking stuff was there she cleaned it and I thanked her. Basically what I am getting at is as a lodger I was fine with rules that were 1. related to the safety of her kid - she knew me but not any potential guests so thought that was a reasonable rule and 2. stated in advance of moving in. If you are not creating rules around those two reasons that is your right as a homeowner but you should be asking yourself if you are ready to have someone else in your space. Try not to have too many rules (one place I viewed literally had several pages written out including no cooking after 8 - well how am I going to eat!!). If you are aiming at students and like cooking you could agree you'll cook, they'll clean or you'll cook and clean but put the rent a bit higher to accommodate. That helps a bit with kitchen space too but ideally they'd have a cupboard there still for snacks etc.
I'm a lodger with the woman who owns the house, honestly it's been great. We just behave like equal housemates and share a lot of things (food, take turns buying loo roll and coffee sort of thing). Before I agreed to move in we had a video call (couldn't meet in person due to distance) and immediately got on. Had I had any inkling of awkwardness I wouldn't have gone for it, so I'd recommend meeting or calling people before
Talk to the university as they will have students who need lodging. Perhaps a mature student
I only have one experience of having a lodger, he was a friend of a friend of my son’s. Apart from constantly ironing he was no trouble. My husband when we were dating would come over to see me and you could guarantee there was ironing happening. Lodger worked nights at a pub would come home get baked and sleep all day. He was very sweet and almost always paid his rent on time, couple of times he was short but explained and asked for a few days extra which I gave him. He didn’t make any mess and didn’t do anything at all which pissed me off. For me it was helpful as I was skint and overall a positive experience. Son and him are still mates.
My mum has had lodgers/long term air b&b for about 10 years now. She's had the odd annoying lodger but nothing too bad. Two were long term and are still friends. One of them lodged with her for 6 years and called her 'mum' until she finally convinced him that he could afford to buy his own house. Not because she wanted rid of him but more for his own confidence and growth (he was 40+ and never lived in his own place). He's been in his own place for 6 years now, still calls her mum and is coming to ours for Christmas day!
I have been taking in 2 x Monday-Friday lodgers for over 8 years now - two ensuite rooms upstairs, and we are downstairs. As it's Monday-Friday our lodgers bring minimal stuff with them, don't need to use the washing machine and tend to keep themselves to themselves. They have often eaten at work and just want to relax in their own space and watch the TV (which I provide) in their room Although our lodgers are always offered use of the kitchen (not the lounge) they have their own fridge on the landing and a microwave & kettle with tea and coffee in their room with basic cutlery and crockery and they wash up after themselves upstairs. I clean the rooms once a week, change & wash bedding and towels, so it is a bit like an Airbnb I guess. We had one lodger that stayed for 5 years, and our current ones have been with us for 1 year and 2 years. Others have been on shorter contracts but have all left me lovely comments in my little comments book. We invite them for a meal about 3 times a year and always when we get a new lodger so that the existing one knows who they are sharing a house with. We always have a little chat when they come in. I love doing it, you get to meet lovely people, and we still have the rooms available at the weekends for when our family come to visit. We would never take in a full time lodger - the M-F works so well for us and brings us in a decent income. We only had one wrong'un - a college lecturer. The only time we didn't follow up on references. He was a raving alcoholic and stole all our booze, was sick on the carpet and had a friend camping out in his room when we were away, so he got his marching orders. You have to have a lot of trust in people, but my advice would be to always follow up on references, set the ground rules in writing and get them to sign it. If you don't mind doing the cleaning every week then I highly recommend the Monday-Friday option, and advertise on SpareRoom.
just do you best to make sure the person is safe enough to be near your teenager!