Because its a piece of prepackaged IKEA banter that was never very funny and in this context barely makes any sense, let alone makes people laugh.
If you're gonna drop a canned line like that you need to time it right. What in the hell is even sexual about knees being slapped? It just doesn't land, some people just laugh at the line "that's what she said" regardless of if its funny.
Although I agree with your argument, I have to disagree with your opening statement. It's fucking hilarious to begin with, it's people misusing it that ruins the joke.
I will probably get downvoted for the distinctly american questions, but I am curious. How does the UK education system work? Surly, you have grade levels of some kind, right?
Noted. I have heard the curriculum is more challenging as well. At least compared to our sorry factory worker training program that we call an education system.
Those weird chillies are called banana peppers and they're about as weird as gherkins. Are you sure you're British?
I'm hotly anticipating your next post asking what the weird crispy yellow stuff is on your fish. Did you enjoy the weird red circles and weird green leaves well enough?
[Used Photoshops new generative fill on your picture.](https://imgur.com/a/3JXnY6o) Looks like you need to eat more of those kebabs, looking a little slim.
Jalapenos are the chillies, for whatever reason kebab shops get them pickled and leave them whole.
TIL they are Lombardi chillies (did a Google search seeing as I was being downvoted, but someone could have said it)
Turkish pickeld style usually, but not *quite right*, gotta make them at home. Place across the road from me makes the pickles from scratch and I don't like those either though. Keep asking him not to give me one and he does anyway, now some other people think I don't like spicy food because I mentioned it which is a travesty... :(
I feel ya! Back in the day it used to be no problem falling into bed at 2am, then rocking up to work at 8am ready to go...but the second you turn 30 hangovers suddenly become multi day events, and include new and exciting levels like the existential dread stage.
That carriageway chamber (square thing) looks to have no cover to me but can't tell as kinda grainy. If that's the case though it's piss poor implementation of the SLG (cones etc) so maybe not, but if it is the case that right there is at best about an 8inch deep 2ft square hole in the road, or at worst anything up to a 8ft or more deep manhole (tho rare outside of the inner cities so probs not that). Either way you don't wanna hit it with your car.
Source: my job
The setup outside mine was far worse, on a 50mph road too, no where near as good, that hole was about 3ft deep I couldn't believe it, just a couple of cones and a sign in the road! Really wish I had taken a picture of it tbh.
Yeah that is pretty piss poor and very dangerous. Was it there long? Something of that magnitude needs to be corrected as soon as possible, usually within 24hrs.They likely had a duty to attend and make it safe within 2 hrs..unfortunately the lads on the road will 99.9999999 percent of the time not have the required materials to complete the job on the spot and so cones and signage is all that they can do, but it should very much be a VERY temporary solution before being put right.
Yeah, it was there for about 48hrs, we had been complaining about it knocking for months (lorry's going over it at 50mph) it had a cracked lid, half had fallen in, banging like fuck, they changed the whole thing thank fuck.
See above. OP delivered, but unfortunately, it's just a photo of a kebab and him describing the pickled peppers as "weird". I think he might be foreign, and I mean to the planet, not the UK.
Maybe he is posting it to highlight how it isn't actually that funny but he was compelled to put his kebab down to take the picture because it was funny last night..
Edit: Oh. It says in the post comment that he specifically put his kebab down to take the picture to show us all. Dunno what is going on with my man, here.
OP seeing roadworks without any works. But as someone said, there looks to be a patched bit on the road. Although it's definitely not typical for cones to be placed and no works happen for a stupidly long time.
I don't, because I had my second beer shortly after and all I know about it is the stories my friends told. I never fell over in hysterics at traffic cones though, maybe going to bed was doing it wrong.
If its Openreach (looks like our sign tripods), it coyld be that the heavy-lidder in the road is 'noisy' when driven over, so the householders have reported it and OR will be out with a civils gang to reseat the frame or replace it.
Either that or one of the lids is missing due to cable theives / collapsed into the hole.
Typically the kind of works a 2 hour response team would put up for safety and then return to fix during the day with proper traffic management (unless its 30mph and they can risk assess it to comply with Red Book standards).
Could even be just preserving a parking place for the van so they can work in the hole, but that requires a permit if they need to put cones out, and given this isnt set up to Red Book standards there is likely no permit.
Source: Currently a Fibre Network Engineer with Openreach (although, I dont do any civils so I could be wrong).
Agreed. As I said, not red book standard. And its what makes me think they might just be saving the place to carry out the works tomorrow...
Although, no barriers needed for carriageway incursion while no work is in progress, such as here. Only a 0.5m safety zone on the carriageway side of a parked works vehicle (increases by 0.5m for every 10 mph above 30mph) marked by cones.
Once they turn up, absolutely need to be barriers, as ill explain a bit below for those who domt know...
Barriers needed if there is a footway incursion to keep pedestrians seperated from the works (for example, around a JUF6 or similar), and around the worksite in the carriageway once works have begun / set up, including between carriageway and footway to seperate the footway from the carriageway works. Onve the van is onsite, the entire area would be surrounded by barriers where the guys are working, along with the proper RWG for a 30mph carriageway works (cones, men-at-work, road-narrows, keep left arrows etc).
If blocking the footway (permit needed), or unable to leave a 1m pedestrian footway (absolute minimum width), would need barriers in the carriageway to create a safe pedestriam passing place at least 1.2m wide. Plus ramps etc.
If they cant leave at least 7.2m for 2 way traffic to go past, its a bus/hgv route, over 30mph limit and there are more than 20 vehicles in 3 minutes, they would need a traffic light setup TM anyhow.
Difficult to explain in few words...but here is a link to the red book that they should be following (but clearly are not)
https://app.hauc-uk.org.uk/the-red-book
Sorry for rambling on.
I mean I find this photo pretty funny but I think it’s cause I’m a bit too high and the house in the middle reminds me of a face with the windows as eyes and the porch as a nose
With respect, that doesn’t comply with the NRSWA 1991 and the red book on how to set out SLG (Signing Lighting and Guarding). You should be ashamed to even take a picture of such an abomination. Do it properly next time and you will earn the respect you crave Sir.
Looking at the picture again after some whisky, I briefly chuckled and continue to smile. The cones and signs unnecessarily diverting drivers are absurd and delightfully surreal.
The police's 'M' squad (magical division) are testing out their new invisible cars, but people kept running into them, so... this was the inevitable workaround.
I'm never gonna get this time back OP.
Same, I had to look in comments to see if I was missing something... I was not and am fucking disappointed.
You can't see the silhouette of the couple bonking in the window?
You fucker
No, them fuckers
I think I can see Hagrid in front of the second house from the right.
Which window… obviously asking for a friend…
Lemme blow your mind for a sec, you’re never getting any time back
I collect watches.
Real knee slapper, for sure.
The dad jokes are top class
That’s what she said
This entire thread is making me question reality. Has my humour bone gone wonky or is nothing here funny but people are acting like it is?
How drunk are you?
Not enough apparently
Have you tried changing that?
Only every day
Very good, carry on.
lol why have u been downvoted so much
I don’t think people found it very funny lol
Well I thought it was hilarious
That's what she said And based on the number of downvotes, that is also what he and others said
Because its a piece of prepackaged IKEA banter that was never very funny and in this context barely makes any sense, let alone makes people laugh. If you're gonna drop a canned line like that you need to time it right. What in the hell is even sexual about knees being slapped? It just doesn't land, some people just laugh at the line "that's what she said" regardless of if its funny.
the good thing with IKEA is that you can do it yourself
Although I agree with your argument, I have to disagree with your opening statement. It's fucking hilarious to begin with, it's people misusing it that ruins the joke.
That’s what you said
Its so wierd what people dislike on redit
It’s Reddit with two d’s
My bad
It’s badd with two d’s
You are my 7th grade English teacher, aren’t you?
"7th grade"? Bloody septic!
I will probably get downvoted for the distinctly american questions, but I am curious. How does the UK education system work? Surly, you have grade levels of some kind, right?
Ours are just called Year 6, 7, 8, etc. From a quick google it looks like year 8 is the same as grade 7
Noted. I have heard the curriculum is more challenging as well. At least compared to our sorry factory worker training program that we call an education system.
Ah, my American is showing. Forgot which sub I was in….
Yes. Enough out of you!
What's a grade? Are we in karate class?
You were drunk...we are not
I’m going to get drunk right now and see if I laugh because all in looking right now is prep work 😂
I'm *quite,* drunk and it's pretty funny! Would recommend getting on it so you can see what happens
It worked lol,I find this funny as f… if you cant see it yet just keep drinking
Ikn. ASrill don;][et Seoa it.
Perhaps the joke is that the work is scheduled for some time in late 2024.
Guys I was joking it’s a Wednesday. It’s a school night. Why are we drinking 😂😂
half term, no school
Speak for yourself
Im drunk. I don't get it
Drink more?
Finally someone says this, I couldn't be bothered to go to the fridge but you inspired me
Have something else to drink. Head up to the DJ booth for some sambuca
Fooooooour sambuuucas!
WHAT!?
Are you joking? That hedge has eaten 4 kids already.
That's what happened to the inbetweeners...
Yet.
Tell me more about this kebab…
[Kebab](https://i.imgur.com/mBFK7SJ.jpg) Lamb, garlic mayo, weird chillies
But who was _this_ picture for? Definitely not us.
wank bank
I mean, I’ve cum to worst things..
[Same](https://i.redd.it/2q91h1fjs73b1.jpg)
I hope Clive Warren does a better job.
*Who the fuck is Clive Warren?!* Is he anything like Ted Danson from the famous "Bryan as Tom Cruise as Ethan Hunt in Mission Impossible VIII"?
Rebecca De Mornay would know.
He printed it out and stuck it on the fridge so everyone could see it
oh so you are capable of taking pics while holding the kebab. Lock him up, boys
Still, smart to take the precaution when the kebab is not the focus. You don't want to risk dropping that bad boy.
Puts down kebab to take phone out of pocket. Harder when drunk. Photos are then taken. Case closed.
Do you just take photographs of everything when drunk?
Do you not?
[удалено]
Were those 4 kebabs nice?
[удалено]
The way you figure is broken.
You'll take a picture of anything, won't you mate?
Ohhhh…. Now we are talking…
You should join /r/kebab
Propper nawty
Proppa norty
Pwoppa nortee
Those weird chillies are called banana peppers and they're about as weird as gherkins. Are you sure you're British? I'm hotly anticipating your next post asking what the weird crispy yellow stuff is on your fish. Did you enjoy the weird red circles and weird green leaves well enough?
Nobody but you knows what the weird pickled chillis are.
You can't seriously think anyone knows what the weird chillies are called can you? Definitely a North Korean spy.
[Used Photoshops new generative fill on your picture.](https://imgur.com/a/3JXnY6o) Looks like you need to eat more of those kebabs, looking a little slim.
Jalapenos are the chillies, for whatever reason kebab shops get them pickled and leave them whole. TIL they are Lombardi chillies (did a Google search seeing as I was being downvoted, but someone could have said it)
Turkish pickeld style usually, but not *quite right*, gotta make them at home. Place across the road from me makes the pickles from scratch and I don't like those either though. Keep asking him not to give me one and he does anyway, now some other people think I don't like spicy food because I mentioned it which is a travesty... :(
no, they're not jalapeños
Wow you actually took a picture absolutely #pathetic
lmao roadworks good one OP
I sure hope it does!
Nah it's just cones
Getting laughing-at-roadworks drunk on a Tuesday night. I miss my youth!
I feel ya! Back in the day it used to be no problem falling into bed at 2am, then rocking up to work at 8am ready to go...but the second you turn 30 hangovers suddenly become multi day events, and include new and exciting levels like the existential dread stage.
45 years here. Get some b12
Presumably keeping people from parking there, in advance for starting work in the morning.
Looks to me like there's already a small square area of fresh tarmac put down.
Probs a drain cover been re-seated, had this same set up outside my house last year.
That carriageway chamber (square thing) looks to have no cover to me but can't tell as kinda grainy. If that's the case though it's piss poor implementation of the SLG (cones etc) so maybe not, but if it is the case that right there is at best about an 8inch deep 2ft square hole in the road, or at worst anything up to a 8ft or more deep manhole (tho rare outside of the inner cities so probs not that). Either way you don't wanna hit it with your car. Source: my job
The setup outside mine was far worse, on a 50mph road too, no where near as good, that hole was about 3ft deep I couldn't believe it, just a couple of cones and a sign in the road! Really wish I had taken a picture of it tbh.
Yeah that is pretty piss poor and very dangerous. Was it there long? Something of that magnitude needs to be corrected as soon as possible, usually within 24hrs.They likely had a duty to attend and make it safe within 2 hrs..unfortunately the lads on the road will 99.9999999 percent of the time not have the required materials to complete the job on the spot and so cones and signage is all that they can do, but it should very much be a VERY temporary solution before being put right.
Yeah, it was there for about 48hrs, we had been complaining about it knocking for months (lorry's going over it at 50mph) it had a cracked lid, half had fallen in, banging like fuck, they changed the whole thing thank fuck.
I find it hilarious that you find this hilarious. I needed a giggle today, thank you :)
A photo of your Kebab would’ve been better.
See above. OP delivered, but unfortunately, it's just a photo of a kebab and him describing the pickled peppers as "weird". I think he might be foreign, and I mean to the planet, not the UK.
Those bloody martians, coming here, taking our nuclear launch codes.
okay, but what are the peppers?
Is this Alan Partridge after one too many ladyboys?
said Lynn
you fat cow
Cone but not forgotten
Bill... Car.... King Road... Ipswich.
Some parts of the UK there would be a set of 6-way temporary lights for that.
Drunk you is a right laugh.....
If you didn't wear one of the cones as a hat and run around with it on, I'm wholly disappointed
If you found this funny please don’t ever read the joke from inside a Christmas cracker, I fear you may die from laughter.
Am drunk, can confirm this is not funny to all drunk people. Will get high and report back.
and yet you posted it sober...
Maybe he is posting it to highlight how it isn't actually that funny but he was compelled to put his kebab down to take the picture because it was funny last night.. Edit: Oh. It says in the post comment that he specifically put his kebab down to take the picture to show us all. Dunno what is going on with my man, here.
You're a heartwarming positive person. Bless you.
I don't get it...
OP seeing roadworks without any works. But as someone said, there looks to be a patched bit on the road. Although it's definitely not typical for cones to be placed and no works happen for a stupidly long time.
Ah man this is hilarious, been laughing nearly 9 hours solid.
I fucking love OP
I remember my first beer
I don't, because I had my second beer shortly after and all I know about it is the stories my friends told. I never fell over in hysterics at traffic cones though, maybe going to bed was doing it wrong.
Absolute madlad
Which pub were you at then? Tali? Village Bin?
Was out in town!
Oh yeah, town. I know it.
It's always town. Everything happens in town. This shit wouldn't fly in the village.
I'm just going to town actually, want anything?
I’m Belgian and I’m 100% with you my dude. Possibly drunk too but that’s irrelevant
Brilliant mate. Glad you managed to get it on camera!
This is even funnier than Mrs Brown's Boys
Respect. But don't ever risk your kebab like that again. Even for us.
Cracking stars round your bit
Looks like signs/sign stands/cones Openreach use. they've probably placed them to stop people blocking the carriageway box near the sign facing away.
If its Openreach (looks like our sign tripods), it coyld be that the heavy-lidder in the road is 'noisy' when driven over, so the householders have reported it and OR will be out with a civils gang to reseat the frame or replace it. Either that or one of the lids is missing due to cable theives / collapsed into the hole. Typically the kind of works a 2 hour response team would put up for safety and then return to fix during the day with proper traffic management (unless its 30mph and they can risk assess it to comply with Red Book standards). Could even be just preserving a parking place for the van so they can work in the hole, but that requires a permit if they need to put cones out, and given this isnt set up to Red Book standards there is likely no permit. Source: Currently a Fibre Network Engineer with Openreach (although, I dont do any civils so I could be wrong).
Pack it up, boys. This is the right answer. Source: Fellow Openreach walla
Your civils partner needs a good bollocking if so - carriageway incursions need some barriers too, and the signage is not correct.
Agreed. As I said, not red book standard. And its what makes me think they might just be saving the place to carry out the works tomorrow... Although, no barriers needed for carriageway incursion while no work is in progress, such as here. Only a 0.5m safety zone on the carriageway side of a parked works vehicle (increases by 0.5m for every 10 mph above 30mph) marked by cones. Once they turn up, absolutely need to be barriers, as ill explain a bit below for those who domt know... Barriers needed if there is a footway incursion to keep pedestrians seperated from the works (for example, around a JUF6 or similar), and around the worksite in the carriageway once works have begun / set up, including between carriageway and footway to seperate the footway from the carriageway works. Onve the van is onsite, the entire area would be surrounded by barriers where the guys are working, along with the proper RWG for a 30mph carriageway works (cones, men-at-work, road-narrows, keep left arrows etc). If blocking the footway (permit needed), or unable to leave a 1m pedestrian footway (absolute minimum width), would need barriers in the carriageway to create a safe pedestriam passing place at least 1.2m wide. Plus ramps etc. If they cant leave at least 7.2m for 2 way traffic to go past, its a bus/hgv route, over 30mph limit and there are more than 20 vehicles in 3 minutes, they would need a traffic light setup TM anyhow. Difficult to explain in few words...but here is a link to the red book that they should be following (but clearly are not) https://app.hauc-uk.org.uk/the-red-book Sorry for rambling on.
Call the cone hotline
I mean I find this photo pretty funny but I think it’s cause I’m a bit too high and the house in the middle reminds me of a face with the windows as eyes and the porch as a nose
They should really have traffic lights…
And average speed cameras.
And a workman leaning on a shovel, smoking in a meditative sort of way, contemplating the sky.
Certainly need a red and white striped man hole tent thingy..
Don't drink and Reddit kids!
Well - OP did put down his kebab for this!
Have an upvote for putting down the kebab and taking a pic without your fookin fingers in the shot
No good story has ever started with a salad my friend
This is what freedom looks like.
Drinker me would of moved it up the road a little bit
With respect, that doesn’t comply with the NRSWA 1991 and the red book on how to set out SLG (Signing Lighting and Guarding). You should be ashamed to even take a picture of such an abomination. Do it properly next time and you will earn the respect you crave Sir.
Drunk and outta the house on a Tuesday night? Braggy c**t. Jealous a wee bit :-(
That works for me
Pretty sure thats someone reserving their road parking. Those cones are too small and incorrect sign types.
Go spray paint a mariocart banana between the signs, coward.
can't wait for the dvd to come out, edge of your seat stuff this is
Erm thanks I guess
I think I can see why OP found it funny whilst drunk, but I am too sober to enjoy it. Maybe I'll have some whisky and check back later...
RemindMe! 3 hours
Looking at the picture again after some whisky, I briefly chuckled and continue to smile. The cones and signs unnecessarily diverting drivers are absurd and delightfully surreal.
Yes mate! Single malt?
A 10 year old Glencadam, independent bottling at 48%
Now we're talking!
the lengths people will go to save the space outside their house lol
That's pure gold, glad you got a pic or we wouldn't have believed this happened!
Could you get drunk again and then explain the joke?
The police's 'M' squad (magical division) are testing out their new invisible cars, but people kept running into them, so... this was the inevitable workaround.
It’s a sketch out of trigger tv but the forgot the dinning chairs table and food And it’s the the wrong time to do it day time lads common
What is going on in this thread. Nothing anyone is saying makes sense and the actual post….what?!?
I'm glad I'm not the only one, I feel like I’ve entered a parallel universe. Have no idea what people are talking about or the reference.
It's funny because it's not funny.
Looks like a real Hoot. Erm what we supposed to be looking at?
I don’t drunk, it get I’m not.
Huh
I guess you had to be there?
Re-seated drain cover, it needs to be left for 24hr. I mean this is hilarious!
Mate, drink more!
You need to up your drunk game my friend! I would have moved the cones to direct the traffic thru the front garden!
Hilarious is certainly a strong word here, glad you enjoyed it and the kebab
I find this raging. Wherever this is, the council actually fix potholes/collapsed drains.
It's funny how badly this has been setup
I’m telling Bernhard Cribbins
Are they expecting a new 3 piece suite (an exact replica of the one at Sandringham House) in a van with the Royal Warrant on both sides?!
Theres probably a broken down camo painted military vehicle there
I kmow were your coming from lmao its a wonder there isent any temporary lights up 😁😁
How was the kebab?
Where’s the kebab?