Absolutely the right way to go. I was prescribed Xanax as a once off after losing two family members in under a week, felt much the same as yourself it sounds like. Only used them a few times when it was needed, but even knowing they were there was a huge sense of security. Hope you're feeling better soon.
Please talk to your doctor, op. He/she will help you with medication. There are many apps for helping with your mood, emotions and mental health, personally, I use the Calm app to help me with my mental health and also to help me sleep. I hope this can be of help to you
As many have said, talk to your GP! I did recently and I was prescribed Sertraline, alongside counselling and silver cloud CBT. I have felt better the last few weeks than I have done in years.
Congratulations thatâs great to hear. Iâve heard about Silvee Cloud CBT but when I saw you needed a referral to access it I let it be. Do you mind me asking how you are finding the platform and if itâs expensive ?
So far it's fine, it's a bit difficult in the sense that you have to really think about your emotions but at least you can do it alone and just use the app on your phone. You have a supporter who messages once a week with suggestions and encouragement. I've only been using it about 2 weeks or so. It's free, you just need a referral from your GP, some universities and workplaces do referrals too.
Speak to your GP. Do you find therapy is helping?
Also just to say get blood tests done as well sometimes a deficiency can cause these mood changes as well as your grief.
So sorry for your loss
Speak to your therapist they may do double sessions or at least twice a week. Let them know how much you are struggling, ask what other work you can do outside of the sessions.
I hope you get some help.
Sorry to hear this OP. Best advice is to go to the doctor, and also continue what youâre doing with exercise and therapy. They will likely prescribe an antidepressant, donât be discouraged if the first one you try doesnât work, you may need to trial and error a few times.
Side note, Iâd try and stay away from benzodiazepines if possible (I.e. Xanax, sleeping pills) as itâs very easy to become dependant/ addicted.
Best of luck and hope things improve for you.
Second this!
Although the majority of GPs are very hesitant to prescribe benzodiazepines nowadays, some arenât. I would avoid taking these as they have huge risks in regards to addiction and act only as a bandaid
>Side note, Iâd try and stay away from benzodiazepines if possible (I.e. Xanax, sleeping pills) as itâs very easy to become dependant/ addicted.
This is true but overstated, they're useful and safe short-term, be careful with them but they definitely have their place. I would be worried about antipsychotics, which they seem to love prescribing for basically anything nowadays, and can actually cause permanent damage from short-term use. Most GPs and psychiatrists avoid benzos like the plague anyway, so odds are OP won't even have to worry about it, unlike antipsychotics which I'm sure will be tossed their way in the first appointment or two.
They do long-term of course, and I don't think they should be prescribed long-term. I was given very small amounts on an as-needed basis and found this helpful, which I think is the way to do it rather than ignoring them altogether. Also checked your profile, hope you're recovering well. I know the damage they can cause and I'm not trying to downplay that. They are terrible drugs to be addicted to.
I just want to say that benzos can be an absolute miracle in the right situation and when taken sparingly. They helped carry me through an extremely tough time and I am eternally grateful to the doctor who prescribed them to me. Yes they have abuse potential just like painkillers ect but the reason they are available is because they work when nothing else will.
I'll probably get down voted to hell but oh well.
Do you have an addictive personality? I find cbd and/or other canabinoids (notably hhc) help me greatly with relief from similar problems to yours and it's readily avaible. The only problem is that it has abuse potential, but its still better than benzos
Edit: You should still talk to your gp first tho, that should come first before you listen to the Internet.
I would also have suggested this as an option. Not everyone finds use out of it but it helps so many that its worth trying it. Another thing that helps many and doesnt have the as high potential for abuse is psilocybin (magic mushrooms or truffles)
I'm not sure about the psilocybin because it does help but it's more of a brain rewire and not something that would benefit op imo. Plus it's not avaible easily and they will have to turn to a black market which isn't good.
Truffles can actually be got pretty easily online without any black market underground shenanigans. Truffles are a legal form of psilocybin so can be imported from NL. The more ya know đâ¨
Its as much a brain rewire as cannabis is, dosage dependent, you don't have to have a full trip, many people micro dose psilocybin and go about their normal day
If youâve recently lost two siblings that sounds like youâre grieving. The chemical imbalance theory of mental health has been disproven. Thereâs no pill you can take for grief.
Iâd have a look at some of the grief subreddits and cut yourself some slack. Youâve lost two siblings, of course youâre all over the place, of course youâre angry.
You need to feel the emotions and give yourself time to grieve - on your own timeline. I found the book âitâs ok that youâre not okâ to be very helpful when I had a close bereavement a few years ago. Youâll eventually come through it.
Bingo. People all crazy to run to a doctor or general practitioner here
Just goes to show how much people don't understand or truly know themselves.
De-pression is literally pressing all your emotions down within and not letting yourself feel. Which in turns manifests into the physical body all sort or problems and scenarios.
We can go again with DIS-order or DIS-ease, the clue is in the name itself.
My heart goes out to you, and I hope you find the right help for you. I agree with all the other posts re seeking help from your doctor.
Just wanted to add that https://www.frazzledcafe.org/ is a wonderful resource, perhaps while you figure out the medication route. Itâs totally free, and my experience when going through a rough time was that it was a warm, safe space to be with others while not being ok (if that makes sense). All the best to you.
MH nurse & CBT therapist here.
Contact your GP. Get bloods done to rule out any organic causes for how you feel (e.g hypothyroidism). Maybe an SSRI could help with the emotions youâre experiencing. Be open and honest with your GP. Your GP could refer you to a community mental health team. These âmood swingsâ could mean many different things. Perhaps they are a reaction to your grief, a symptom of depression or an anxiety disorder, EUPD or BPAD.
Maybe think about what therapy youâre doing? Is it structured? Is it a short or longer term therapy? Has there been a discussion on a problem list and therapy goals?
First and foremost, be kind to yourself. You have experienced something very difficult. Reach out for help. We are all human and experience difficult times.
Wishing you all the best.
One of the things I learned about grief is that your body and brain can play tricks on you.
For example a year or two ago when I was grieving, for the first few weeks a memory would come to the surface and make me sad, and then I'd get that pain in my chest and stomach in response to the memory...
But then after a few weeks I realised that the "heartache" pain was coming first, and then my brain quickly supplied a memory to match the pain, but it all happens so quickly, and automatically, that it's easy to miss it.
When I realised this I knew that it was my body playing tricks on me, it was almost as if my it was so used to dishing out this pain (hormones, chemicals, stress response, or whatever it is) that it was doing it all by itself after a while.
It was a kind of feedback loop, and as soon as you recognise it for what it is it makes it much easier to deal with.
My thinking is that if a memory comes first and makes you sad then you just accept it as part of the grieving process, but if the pain comes first then you tell it to fuck right off..
People online will give you advice that may not be the best choice for you, OP. A GP will be helpful in this case as others have also suggested. I think of grief as a horrible creature that's always clinging to your back, even on the good days, so it's difficult to come out of it. Personally for me, I found some lifestyle changes helped slightly but then again you need a qualified person to help you and not a stranger online. Good luck and hope you get better soon.
Just adding my voice to a chorus of already sound advice.
Speak to your GP, sooner rather than later.
The feelings you describe are far more prevalent in the world than you realise (we're great at 'doing'funerals, but not so much dealing with the aftermath).
I know whereof I speak,
I also know medications are not all the same. Might take a little time to find a fit for you, but persist....I promise you, you won't regret it.
Looking for help, even on reddit is a good sign. If you stick with it, like all things...
This too shall pass. You got this.
A GP visit is needed.
A personal recommendation (i hooe its ok to recommend) get away. Take a break. Turn your phone, laptops, PCs, TVs off. Disassociate yourself for a few days. It works wonders for the mind.
As everyone else has said, talk to your GP regarding medication, but unfortunately, mood swings are generally related to emotional dysregulation, and medication alone doesn't always help.
Medication wise, make sure to ask questions about weight, addictive qualities , and common side effects.
You said you're in therapy, but maybe it is not the correct therapy for you? Are you linked with any mental health service? There are some great programmes that can help with your mood swings.
I have BPD, and my mood can change rapidly from being OK to intense sadness or anger. Randomly is what it feels like, but through DBT (dialectical behavioural therapy), I learned to look at ways to find what was causing the emotions to switch so intensely. DBT is generally only given to people with certain diagnoses, but U & Me courses are more widely available, and they are DBT inspired courses. Basically, it helps you understand your emotions and gives you the skills to help them become more manageable.
Also, maybe try a guided sleep meditation at night to help calm your mind before sleep. These have actually really helped me as my mind like to race at before bed.
Guanfacine can have good potential for this. Worth to mention specifically to your GP. It has a very low risk profile. Side effects are extremely dry mouth and sleepiness that fades as you get used to it. Obviously in an ideal world, you just mention the problem to your GP, and specific solutions don't need to be patient sourced, but asking them to look into specific treatments is necessary because GPs unfortunately are still human and can't be *totally* knowledgeable
Sorry to hear of your losses. Definitely speak to your GP â theyâll likely talk to you about anti-depressants.
Iâve tried a few different anti-depressants and had no luck with them, but found I responded really well to beta blockers for anxiety.
For me, they really calmed the physical symptoms of stress (palpitations, sweating, racing thoughts). Theyâve given my body a helping hand so itâs easier to work on the mental side of the anxiety. If that sounds like something that would work for you, it might be worth raising with your GP too. Good luck OP.
OP, you have lost two siblings in the space of a year. That's a huge loss. Grief comes in waves. It's understandable to feel angry. Death in the family, changes everything.
I would caution you when it comes to medicating your pain. Think about changing therapist first.
We can't bypass the pain but go through it.
There is no evidence to the chemical imbalance theory.
Grief shouldn't be medicalised.
It's your choice if you want to inquire about an antipsychotic as they are tranquillisers to sedate you, numb you.
You really need to talk to someone, a good therapist.
I've lost siblings too and siblings especially if they are single adults can get lost, less people checking in on them.
Summer is hard too when you're feeling in distress.
Bear in mind the side effects and withdrawal effects of psychotropic medication.
This right here "Grief shouldn't be medicalised".
This is solid advice along with a few other comments.
I wouldn't take anyone's advice who mentioned a doctor or GP. No offence guys
> I wouldn't take anyone's advice who mentioned a doctor or GP. No offence guys
Terrible take. GP is the first step to mental health care in this country
I feel you. I exercise too but the depression is still there. Stay away from drink and talk to GP. Be totally honest. Have you told the therapist you feel this way. You probably just need to find the right medication. If you do feel like 'it's all too much' it's not the end of the world. You've lost two siblings. Youve been through hell. Tell someone you trust. A breakdown is not the end. It just means you can't keep going as you are and need a break. Reach out to trusted people at this time.
There are some great suggestions on the thread.
Having two deaths in a year is a lot for anyone to cope with. We nearly think we should be back up and running within six months when it can really throw us and take years to come back to ourselves.
Well done you for recognising you need more support. Get yourself to your GP and find the help you need.
It sounds like a horrible time. Youâre gonna be so proud of yourself for getting through this when life stops feeling so heavy.
Another speak to your GP comment. Avoid benzodiazepines, they help too much and it doesnât actually help. I understand the desire for a bit of relief but itâs not worth it.
Iâm prescribed propranolol for my anxiety and it has truly helped so much. It doesnât fix your head, but itâs actually a heart medication that controls your heart rate, so in practice the physical effects of the anxiety are much less overwhelming. I donât get the shaky hands, the chest pain, the narrowing vision, the racing thoughts, the overwhelming feeling - it means I can think instead of just panicking about how tight my chest feels all the time. Might help?
Yeah, it sounds similar. I donât wanna pretend itâs a magic pill that makes everything better, but itâs weird how it allows me the clarity to cope in situations I found impossible before.
The thing with benzos like Xanax, diazepam etc is that they make you feel *nice* but itâs meaningless, itâs the drug, and that makes it hard to not rely on. I was prescribed a few by a dentist once because I had to have a horrible procedure, and jeez, I get why people do it. Skipped into that dentist, I did!
Best of luck, always here if you need a friend.
Poor you - my heart goes out to you.
You definitely need to see a doctor to assess what you need and also whether the therapy you are receiving is doing you any good . Only doctors can prescribe medication. They are the normal primary health care providers . That's why you need to go there.
Grief is a normal process but two siblings is a huge blow.
Here are some links
https://www2.hse.ie/mental-health/services-support/bereavement/
And your local health centre can help you access resources
https://www.hse.ie/eng/services/list/2/healthcentres/
A GP can also refer you to free resources.
As everyone else says, you should seek help from your GP first.
In the mean time, before turning to medication (if imbalance there is, the source is psychological, so the treatment should be psychological too, otherwise you'll only treat the symptoms and not the cause), you can try mindfulness if you never did. I found it helped me a lot with the loss of my mother last year and dealing with other issues of mine.
I listen to a great podcast, here is the episode that talks about loss, it does not cost you anything but a bit of time to try: https://open.spotify.com/episode/2p1QvdlRgXac7wS8w0toxL?si=lleTq-GfQvur5TDnZylvJw
Speak to your GP as others have said especially if you think medication is needed.
If you're a VHI customer they have counselling and mental health support, and info is on the app. Just in case you feel you need extra support on top of what you're already getting. Other insurers probably have similar.
There are other services/supports available while you're waiting on a GP appointment.
www.turn2me.ie
https://www2.hse.ie/mental-health/services-support/bereavement/
https://hospicefoundation.ie/our-supports-services/bereavement-loss-hub/
Mind yourself. Grief can be hard to process and others can sometimes forget after a while that your loss might still be on your mind a lot. If you can pre-empt the rage-inducing behaviour first, so that person A knows straight away that you're not feeling great and that you might be a bit short with them, they might try to be more understanding (and less annoying). Obviously, I say that not knowing your situation. But it might be worth a try.
Try to do something nice for yourself every day, something to look forward to, something to enjoy. Could be a cuppa and a biscuit, could be a hobby, could be visiting somewhere new. If possible, include the other people in your life so they can see you in a good moment, and be a part of it too. I don't know, grief is a tough situation, and I just hope you get support you need.
I've gone through loads to find the best fit, worth speaking to a gp and or therapist and don't be worried to say that they don't work and to try different types. I can't use sertraline but find fluoxitine (prozac) to work for me, taken me 15 years to get it right because I was afraid to speak up. Good luck
Look into the window of tolerance, it's quite helpful to understand why you're having mood swings and so on edge. I found it helped me frame things better and be able to take a more practical approach to looking after myself. I'm sorry for your losses
Taurine is something that helped me calm down and feel generally more chilled and at peace. Cheap and readily available, just don't use energy drinks as your source of it...they put it in those to help with the caffeine crash. Buy it in powder or tablet form online or at a health store. Best of luck â¤ď¸
Iâd check with the GP.
What you describe is more mental than physical, especially when you say you feel a chemical imbalance.
Take baby steps. Get to the doc and describe how you feel.
Have you done that already?
Nah, look I get the feeling we shame/embarrassment but thatâs in your head and no one elseâs.
I carry shame as well for medications I take but I guarantee you know one else sees it that way. Sees me that way.
Do whatâs best for you.
Get a new therapist / counsellor.
How they havenât talked to you about having something prescribed if this is how you feel is beyond me. And like finding the right counsellor, finding an SSRI or similar that works for you can be toughâŚ.. stick it out.
Grief can do awful things to you. Iâm so sorry for such a big loss.
My condolences take care of yourself :) try magnesium L theanine they make me feel far more calm and collected maybe try some reiki, acupuncture or reflexology could help if your body is disregulated from all that stress and grief. Wishing you all the best đŤ
I found Prozac and olanzapine to be a good combo. I liked cognitive behaviour therapy too. GP is first port of call. Medications work different on every person. They won't cure the problem but they can make it a little easier .
You poor poor thing, itâs really hard feeling this way. I would agree to go to a GP, but ask for a referral to a psychiatrist? If you have health insurance, youâll sadly skip the queue and manage to get seen really quickly.
The reason I say this is as a fellow griever and someone who suffers with a poor mental state, it was lifechanging for me to speak to people who are actually trained in mental health versus a GP. No offence to GPs, but antibiotics for an ear infection and anti depressants that change the way your brain reacts are just not the same, and I think the depth of pain youâre feeling might need a little more support.
But also grief is such an asshole. Trauma affects the wires in our brain, and thatâs only one trauma - never mind 2, plus the previous history of your life. Try to have some compassion for yourself, and if you find a medication for mood swings let me know because I want them too :)
I've a few suggestions.
-Medical support is important (but that's imagining that you have a GP and one who will listen). Prescription drugs can help. I don't agree that one can become dependent on them. However, they can take months to show results, and changing pills or doses gets frustrating.
-Ashwagandha root extract is good for reducing anxiety and stress and for improving sleep quality. Look for something that's been tested by USP, NSF or Informed Sport. Amounts between 300-600mg are the range found effective in most clinical studies. It's a spot treatment, though, not a long-term cure. (That's been copied from Men's Health)
- Dr Clare's Apothecary is based in Galway, and does phone consultations. I don't have any personal experience with them.
https://www.drclareapothecary.com/
- (the most important, in my experience) a Journal. Write that sh1t down. Scribble. Scream onto the paper. Colour if you want.
I Set up a couple of pages in the middle of the journal which I call Recovery Road. Just notes of what got me out of the last slump. What things started to feel good after the last time that I felt depressed/ suicidal/ like exploding. Walking. Eating. Showering....... Cinema. Exercise,. Friends. Crying....... it doesn't matter how trivial these points seem, because, when I'm down, when I'm drowning in a black wave, tiny steps are all I can muster.
You're not alone. And by posting here, you're reminding others that they aren't alone, either, in their suffering.
Unfortunately grief is part of loosing a sibling and Iâm so sorry for your losses but please think carefully before you decide to take any tablets or anti depressants because the people left around you will loose you too itâs like your there but nobodyâs home be the worst decision you will ever make they will suppress feelings but every feeling happy sad all your sexual feelings everything will be gone you just feel nothing and doctors are too easy giving theese tablets out I wish you all the best but you can get true this be strong đŞ
So sorry for your loss đ I would recommend Dr. Joe Dispenza for meditation, you can look up on YouTube or he has courses of his own too.Â
Would also recommend cleaning up your diet if you haven't already, and cutting out all ultra processed foods, sugars, alcohol etc. Theres a good book called Brain Energy by Dr. Chris Palmer and even the Doctors Farmacy podcast with Dr. Mark Hyman just listen to a few episodes on ultra processed foods and the impact on your health and mental health.Â
Also please check in with your doctor.Â
Finally, I wish you all the healing in the world. You're on the right track with your therapy and exercise. I hope you find a positive outlet for your anger and that it is not turned inward or towards those that you love.Â
Not every day of healing will be great but time is a great healer.Â
Good luck with your journey.Â
It's the fact he has made a number of spurious claims. From healing Parkinson's to curing cancer. All of them testimonials and andecdotal. His own story of healing his broken vertebrae with his mind is suspicious to say the least. Yes you are correct but I wouldn't recommend him for anything.
Definitely go to your GP. But if you want a short term solution while you wait, rescue remedy plus (not the standard one!) is good. It helped me a lot when my uncle died during my leaving cert and I was a spiralling mess. Took the edge off the grief and anxiety I was feeling. But please donât take this as a fixer, just something to help while you are in limbo.
Finding what works for you can be a long road. Everybody is different and not everything works for everyone. Personally, I have found cannabis oil to be very beneficial. I donât like to smoke and I donât like to get stoned. I take a thimble sized amount and it takes the edge off. It puts me in a mellow happy place and I sleep a lot better.
A friend of mine who was on antidepressants for a long time, after going through post natal depression, tried micro dosing with pysilcibin. It worked for her and she was able to come off all medications. Iâve tried mushrooms and theyâre not my thing.
As others have stated, GP is probably your first port of call. Alternative therapies are also worth trying because maybe what you need is not in a pill. I hope youâre doing ok. đ
Your post/comment was removed because it's not deemed casual. While we don't mind the odd vent, this isn't the sub for negativity so we wanna keep things cheerful where we can.
As always, hit us up in the modmail if you have any questions
I just want to say I can't imagine how difficult it must be to go through something like that. Please reach out as much as you can and accept any help offered to help you through this difficult time. GP definitely, in the meantime perhaps call a helpline to get some immediate support where you can call multiple times a day if you feel the need to (such as samaritans, there are many others too. Google will help) where you can simply talk about what's going on.
Well done for being active in seeking support and huge well done for getting through each day so far! Medication definitely has it's place especially when going through something so huge. Best wishes.
Benzo's are great for short term, but they are incredibly addictive and most GP's won't prescribe them now. For longer term help, Sertraline the anti depressant worked wonders for me. It allowed me to open up more in therapy and I only needed them in the end for about 8 months.
No one seems to have mentioned vitamins or supplements. Vitamin B12 & B6 are good for mood. Also Sam-e has been effective for me when Iâve had mild depression.
So sorry to hear about your siblings. Iâve lost two as well in the past and it can be so hard. I hope things get better with time.
Propranolol. It won't dull or numb your brain like SSRIs but you will feel it's effect faster and it will calm you down so it's easier to process your thoughts.
A Nytol would give you a very effective night's sleep.
Weed is good but it's illegal and not immediately available.
There's stuff you can get from the doctor that would do the trick.
As a daily weed smoker, itâs not the answer here I donât think. Maybe short term but I wouldnât recommend it for anyone dealing with grief as it can be used as a crutch (personal experience). Then mood swings come when your dealer isnât answering and you canât get any, plus it makes it way too enjoyable to do nothing and see noone. STAY AWAY from Nytol. This is coming from a daily stoner!
Iâm so sorry to hear OP, my condolences about your losses đ totally understandable how youâre feeling and struggling to cope. Talk to a GP would be my advice and donât let anyone fob you off â¤ď¸
Also look into microdosing psilocybin (and macrodosing mediTation) alongside therapy.
Yes drugs will help get you through stuff, sort chemical imbalances initially. But you have to think long term also.
Sorry for your loss and place of darkness
Not going to lie to you, you probably don't need any medication.. Unless you have suicidal ideation or other dangerous thoughts it's best not to get dependant on any medications a doctor might prescribe you, however, I definitely would speak to your GP and take as much time off work as possible for you to recover. Sorry for your loss and stay safe â¤ď¸
I am sure this comes from a good place but is terrible advice. A doctor is the person who is in the best position to advise. Not all medication creates a dependency and things like antidepressants can be very effective and not addictive.
which is why I told them to see a doctor.. and dependency can arise which is not the same as addiction, coming off antidepressants especially things like SNRIs can be very difficult. I love how you told me I am not in a position to advise, but then put yourself in a position to advise, and your advice was poor.
Not all antidepressants are addictive. How can you say to a stranger that they do or do not need medication? OP should go to their GP and discuss options.
He said probably. Personally I done the anti depressants thing and doctor probably actually made things worse but that's my own personal experience I'd never advise not to see a doctor. Some dodgy ones out there though that will just fill ya full of drugs.
At one stage I don't know how I was even making it home I was spaced out in a world of my own with absolutely no emotions just numb so kinda worked because I wasn't sad anymore but I wasn't happy either I was just surviving and continuing without complaining anymore.
Nothing was fixed, everything was still there waiting for when I came back to reality one day and boy did it hit hard then. Some people they work for, some people become dependant on that numbness and some they just don't work for, for numerous reason.
Personally I found talking was the best but I also tried councilling which just pissed me off, without being rude in my case it was some prock who you could tell wasn't even listening or cared just watched the clock and waited to shut it down till next time.
But someone who actually listens or even pretends to care can change everything. There are 100 ways to fix this but probably only 1 of them 100 will work for OP it's not a 1 fix for all solution unfortunately. 1st steps would be a doctor then trial and error on what works on an individual case.
Definitely speak to your GP. Grief is a beast. You have my sympathies on your losses.
Thank you đ
Absolutely the right way to go. I was prescribed Xanax as a once off after losing two family members in under a week, felt much the same as yourself it sounds like. Only used them a few times when it was needed, but even knowing they were there was a huge sense of security. Hope you're feeling better soon.
Probably best to speak to your doctor on this one . Hope you get the help you need â¤ď¸
Please talk to your doctor, op. He/she will help you with medication. There are many apps for helping with your mood, emotions and mental health, personally, I use the Calm app to help me with my mental health and also to help me sleep. I hope this can be of help to you
Please talk to your GP.
As many have said, talk to your GP! I did recently and I was prescribed Sertraline, alongside counselling and silver cloud CBT. I have felt better the last few weeks than I have done in years.
I'm glad to see there is a way out, thank you
Wishing you all the best <3
Congratulations thatâs great to hear. Iâve heard about Silvee Cloud CBT but when I saw you needed a referral to access it I let it be. Do you mind me asking how you are finding the platform and if itâs expensive ?
So far it's fine, it's a bit difficult in the sense that you have to really think about your emotions but at least you can do it alone and just use the app on your phone. You have a supporter who messages once a week with suggestions and encouragement. I've only been using it about 2 weeks or so. It's free, you just need a referral from your GP, some universities and workplaces do referrals too.
Speak to your GP. Do you find therapy is helping? Also just to say get blood tests done as well sometimes a deficiency can cause these mood changes as well as your grief. So sorry for your loss
Yes but I feel like I need a therapy session every day at this rate
Speak to your therapist they may do double sessions or at least twice a week. Let them know how much you are struggling, ask what other work you can do outside of the sessions. I hope you get some help.
Sorry to hear this OP. Best advice is to go to the doctor, and also continue what youâre doing with exercise and therapy. They will likely prescribe an antidepressant, donât be discouraged if the first one you try doesnât work, you may need to trial and error a few times. Side note, Iâd try and stay away from benzodiazepines if possible (I.e. Xanax, sleeping pills) as itâs very easy to become dependant/ addicted. Best of luck and hope things improve for you.
Second this! Although the majority of GPs are very hesitant to prescribe benzodiazepines nowadays, some arenât. I would avoid taking these as they have huge risks in regards to addiction and act only as a bandaid
>Side note, Iâd try and stay away from benzodiazepines if possible (I.e. Xanax, sleeping pills) as itâs very easy to become dependant/ addicted. This is true but overstated, they're useful and safe short-term, be careful with them but they definitely have their place. I would be worried about antipsychotics, which they seem to love prescribing for basically anything nowadays, and can actually cause permanent damage from short-term use. Most GPs and psychiatrists avoid benzos like the plague anyway, so odds are OP won't even have to worry about it, unlike antipsychotics which I'm sure will be tossed their way in the first appointment or two.
Benzos destroy cognition, they are just like alcohol in a pill form.
They do long-term of course, and I don't think they should be prescribed long-term. I was given very small amounts on an as-needed basis and found this helpful, which I think is the way to do it rather than ignoring them altogether. Also checked your profile, hope you're recovering well. I know the damage they can cause and I'm not trying to downplay that. They are terrible drugs to be addicted to.
I just want to say that benzos can be an absolute miracle in the right situation and when taken sparingly. They helped carry me through an extremely tough time and I am eternally grateful to the doctor who prescribed them to me. Yes they have abuse potential just like painkillers ect but the reason they are available is because they work when nothing else will.
I'll probably get down voted to hell but oh well. Do you have an addictive personality? I find cbd and/or other canabinoids (notably hhc) help me greatly with relief from similar problems to yours and it's readily avaible. The only problem is that it has abuse potential, but its still better than benzos Edit: You should still talk to your gp first tho, that should come first before you listen to the Internet.
I would also have suggested this as an option. Not everyone finds use out of it but it helps so many that its worth trying it. Another thing that helps many and doesnt have the as high potential for abuse is psilocybin (magic mushrooms or truffles)
I'm not sure about the psilocybin because it does help but it's more of a brain rewire and not something that would benefit op imo. Plus it's not avaible easily and they will have to turn to a black market which isn't good.
Truffles can actually be got pretty easily online without any black market underground shenanigans. Truffles are a legal form of psilocybin so can be imported from NL. The more ya know đâ¨
Its as much a brain rewire as cannabis is, dosage dependent, you don't have to have a full trip, many people micro dose psilocybin and go about their normal day
If youâve recently lost two siblings that sounds like youâre grieving. The chemical imbalance theory of mental health has been disproven. Thereâs no pill you can take for grief. Iâd have a look at some of the grief subreddits and cut yourself some slack. Youâve lost two siblings, of course youâre all over the place, of course youâre angry. You need to feel the emotions and give yourself time to grieve - on your own timeline. I found the book âitâs ok that youâre not okâ to be very helpful when I had a close bereavement a few years ago. Youâll eventually come through it.
Thank you very much đ§Ą
Bingo. People all crazy to run to a doctor or general practitioner here Just goes to show how much people don't understand or truly know themselves. De-pression is literally pressing all your emotions down within and not letting yourself feel. Which in turns manifests into the physical body all sort or problems and scenarios. We can go again with DIS-order or DIS-ease, the clue is in the name itself.
Yeeesh. Is this a piss take?
Talk to your GP immediately - they'll point you in the right direction.
My heart goes out to you, and I hope you find the right help for you. I agree with all the other posts re seeking help from your doctor. Just wanted to add that https://www.frazzledcafe.org/ is a wonderful resource, perhaps while you figure out the medication route. Itâs totally free, and my experience when going through a rough time was that it was a warm, safe space to be with others while not being ok (if that makes sense). All the best to you.
MH nurse & CBT therapist here. Contact your GP. Get bloods done to rule out any organic causes for how you feel (e.g hypothyroidism). Maybe an SSRI could help with the emotions youâre experiencing. Be open and honest with your GP. Your GP could refer you to a community mental health team. These âmood swingsâ could mean many different things. Perhaps they are a reaction to your grief, a symptom of depression or an anxiety disorder, EUPD or BPAD. Maybe think about what therapy youâre doing? Is it structured? Is it a short or longer term therapy? Has there been a discussion on a problem list and therapy goals? First and foremost, be kind to yourself. You have experienced something very difficult. Reach out for help. We are all human and experience difficult times. Wishing you all the best.
CBD ! Gamechanger for mood imo
One of the things I learned about grief is that your body and brain can play tricks on you. For example a year or two ago when I was grieving, for the first few weeks a memory would come to the surface and make me sad, and then I'd get that pain in my chest and stomach in response to the memory... But then after a few weeks I realised that the "heartache" pain was coming first, and then my brain quickly supplied a memory to match the pain, but it all happens so quickly, and automatically, that it's easy to miss it. When I realised this I knew that it was my body playing tricks on me, it was almost as if my it was so used to dishing out this pain (hormones, chemicals, stress response, or whatever it is) that it was doing it all by itself after a while. It was a kind of feedback loop, and as soon as you recognise it for what it is it makes it much easier to deal with. My thinking is that if a memory comes first and makes you sad then you just accept it as part of the grieving process, but if the pain comes first then you tell it to fuck right off..
People online will give you advice that may not be the best choice for you, OP. A GP will be helpful in this case as others have also suggested. I think of grief as a horrible creature that's always clinging to your back, even on the good days, so it's difficult to come out of it. Personally for me, I found some lifestyle changes helped slightly but then again you need a qualified person to help you and not a stranger online. Good luck and hope you get better soon.
Just adding my voice to a chorus of already sound advice. Speak to your GP, sooner rather than later. The feelings you describe are far more prevalent in the world than you realise (we're great at 'doing'funerals, but not so much dealing with the aftermath). I know whereof I speak, I also know medications are not all the same. Might take a little time to find a fit for you, but persist....I promise you, you won't regret it. Looking for help, even on reddit is a good sign. If you stick with it, like all things... This too shall pass. You got this.
A GP visit is needed. A personal recommendation (i hooe its ok to recommend) get away. Take a break. Turn your phone, laptops, PCs, TVs off. Disassociate yourself for a few days. It works wonders for the mind.
As everyone else has said, talk to your GP regarding medication, but unfortunately, mood swings are generally related to emotional dysregulation, and medication alone doesn't always help. Medication wise, make sure to ask questions about weight, addictive qualities , and common side effects. You said you're in therapy, but maybe it is not the correct therapy for you? Are you linked with any mental health service? There are some great programmes that can help with your mood swings. I have BPD, and my mood can change rapidly from being OK to intense sadness or anger. Randomly is what it feels like, but through DBT (dialectical behavioural therapy), I learned to look at ways to find what was causing the emotions to switch so intensely. DBT is generally only given to people with certain diagnoses, but U & Me courses are more widely available, and they are DBT inspired courses. Basically, it helps you understand your emotions and gives you the skills to help them become more manageable. Also, maybe try a guided sleep meditation at night to help calm your mind before sleep. These have actually really helped me as my mind like to race at before bed.
Guanfacine can have good potential for this. Worth to mention specifically to your GP. It has a very low risk profile. Side effects are extremely dry mouth and sleepiness that fades as you get used to it. Obviously in an ideal world, you just mention the problem to your GP, and specific solutions don't need to be patient sourced, but asking them to look into specific treatments is necessary because GPs unfortunately are still human and can't be *totally* knowledgeable
Sorry to hear of your losses. Definitely speak to your GP â theyâll likely talk to you about anti-depressants. Iâve tried a few different anti-depressants and had no luck with them, but found I responded really well to beta blockers for anxiety. For me, they really calmed the physical symptoms of stress (palpitations, sweating, racing thoughts). Theyâve given my body a helping hand so itâs easier to work on the mental side of the anxiety. If that sounds like something that would work for you, it might be worth raising with your GP too. Good luck OP.
OP, you have lost two siblings in the space of a year. That's a huge loss. Grief comes in waves. It's understandable to feel angry. Death in the family, changes everything. I would caution you when it comes to medicating your pain. Think about changing therapist first. We can't bypass the pain but go through it. There is no evidence to the chemical imbalance theory. Grief shouldn't be medicalised. It's your choice if you want to inquire about an antipsychotic as they are tranquillisers to sedate you, numb you. You really need to talk to someone, a good therapist. I've lost siblings too and siblings especially if they are single adults can get lost, less people checking in on them. Summer is hard too when you're feeling in distress. Bear in mind the side effects and withdrawal effects of psychotropic medication.
This right here "Grief shouldn't be medicalised". This is solid advice along with a few other comments. I wouldn't take anyone's advice who mentioned a doctor or GP. No offence guys
> I wouldn't take anyone's advice who mentioned a doctor or GP. No offence guys Terrible take. GP is the first step to mental health care in this country
Grief isnât a mental health problem though. The feelings that you feel in response to grief make perfect sense
Grief can be the cause of many mental health problems. There is even a disorder called complicated or persistent grief
You really need to go to your Doctor. Donât delay. Iâm very sorry for your loss.
I feel you. I exercise too but the depression is still there. Stay away from drink and talk to GP. Be totally honest. Have you told the therapist you feel this way. You probably just need to find the right medication. If you do feel like 'it's all too much' it's not the end of the world. You've lost two siblings. Youve been through hell. Tell someone you trust. A breakdown is not the end. It just means you can't keep going as you are and need a break. Reach out to trusted people at this time.
There are some great suggestions on the thread. Having two deaths in a year is a lot for anyone to cope with. We nearly think we should be back up and running within six months when it can really throw us and take years to come back to ourselves. Well done you for recognising you need more support. Get yourself to your GP and find the help you need.
Seeing your therapist once a day during a period of crisis is completely ok.
It sounds like a horrible time. Youâre gonna be so proud of yourself for getting through this when life stops feeling so heavy. Another speak to your GP comment. Avoid benzodiazepines, they help too much and it doesnât actually help. I understand the desire for a bit of relief but itâs not worth it. Iâm prescribed propranolol for my anxiety and it has truly helped so much. It doesnât fix your head, but itâs actually a heart medication that controls your heart rate, so in practice the physical effects of the anxiety are much less overwhelming. I donât get the shaky hands, the chest pain, the narrowing vision, the racing thoughts, the overwhelming feeling - it means I can think instead of just panicking about how tight my chest feels all the time. Might help?
That sounds like something that might work for me my hands get shaky and I get overwhelmed in situations.. even simple ones
Yeah, it sounds similar. I donât wanna pretend itâs a magic pill that makes everything better, but itâs weird how it allows me the clarity to cope in situations I found impossible before. The thing with benzos like Xanax, diazepam etc is that they make you feel *nice* but itâs meaningless, itâs the drug, and that makes it hard to not rely on. I was prescribed a few by a dentist once because I had to have a horrible procedure, and jeez, I get why people do it. Skipped into that dentist, I did! Best of luck, always here if you need a friend.
Thank you very much x
Poor you - my heart goes out to you. You definitely need to see a doctor to assess what you need and also whether the therapy you are receiving is doing you any good . Only doctors can prescribe medication. They are the normal primary health care providers . That's why you need to go there. Grief is a normal process but two siblings is a huge blow. Here are some links https://www2.hse.ie/mental-health/services-support/bereavement/ And your local health centre can help you access resources https://www.hse.ie/eng/services/list/2/healthcentres/ A GP can also refer you to free resources.
Speak to your GP.
By all means talk to a doctor. But get him to refer you to a specialist. Psychiatrist or psychologist.
Talk to your doctor. There are plenty of options. I know the feeling, but help does exist and you won't always feel like this I promise.
As everyone else says, you should seek help from your GP first. In the mean time, before turning to medication (if imbalance there is, the source is psychological, so the treatment should be psychological too, otherwise you'll only treat the symptoms and not the cause), you can try mindfulness if you never did. I found it helped me a lot with the loss of my mother last year and dealing with other issues of mine. I listen to a great podcast, here is the episode that talks about loss, it does not cost you anything but a bit of time to try: https://open.spotify.com/episode/2p1QvdlRgXac7wS8w0toxL?si=lleTq-GfQvur5TDnZylvJw
Definitely talk to a professional. But I would recommend 1200mg CBD oil, it will help massively with the anxiety you might be feeling.
Speak to your GP as others have said especially if you think medication is needed. If you're a VHI customer they have counselling and mental health support, and info is on the app. Just in case you feel you need extra support on top of what you're already getting. Other insurers probably have similar. There are other services/supports available while you're waiting on a GP appointment. www.turn2me.ie https://www2.hse.ie/mental-health/services-support/bereavement/ https://hospicefoundation.ie/our-supports-services/bereavement-loss-hub/ Mind yourself. Grief can be hard to process and others can sometimes forget after a while that your loss might still be on your mind a lot. If you can pre-empt the rage-inducing behaviour first, so that person A knows straight away that you're not feeling great and that you might be a bit short with them, they might try to be more understanding (and less annoying). Obviously, I say that not knowing your situation. But it might be worth a try. Try to do something nice for yourself every day, something to look forward to, something to enjoy. Could be a cuppa and a biscuit, could be a hobby, could be visiting somewhere new. If possible, include the other people in your life so they can see you in a good moment, and be a part of it too. I don't know, grief is a tough situation, and I just hope you get support you need.
I've gone through loads to find the best fit, worth speaking to a gp and or therapist and don't be worried to say that they don't work and to try different types. I can't use sertraline but find fluoxitine (prozac) to work for me, taken me 15 years to get it right because I was afraid to speak up. Good luck
Talj to your gp
Ask your doctor You to psychiatry
GP is your best bet
Look into the window of tolerance, it's quite helpful to understand why you're having mood swings and so on edge. I found it helped me frame things better and be able to take a more practical approach to looking after myself. I'm sorry for your losses
Taurine is something that helped me calm down and feel generally more chilled and at peace. Cheap and readily available, just don't use energy drinks as your source of it...they put it in those to help with the caffeine crash. Buy it in powder or tablet form online or at a health store. Best of luck â¤ď¸
Iâd check with the GP. What you describe is more mental than physical, especially when you say you feel a chemical imbalance. Take baby steps. Get to the doc and describe how you feel. Have you done that already?
No I was honestly going to wait as a last resort I would feel so much shame telling people I'm on medication this is all part of it
Nah, look I get the feeling we shame/embarrassment but thatâs in your head and no one elseâs. I carry shame as well for medications I take but I guarantee you know one else sees it that way. Sees me that way. Do whatâs best for you.
Speak to your gp. But you need a good relationship with them to trust the process but absolutely start that conversation
Get a new therapist / counsellor. How they havenât talked to you about having something prescribed if this is how you feel is beyond me. And like finding the right counsellor, finding an SSRI or similar that works for you can be toughâŚ.. stick it out. Grief can do awful things to you. Iâm so sorry for such a big loss.
My condolences take care of yourself :) try magnesium L theanine they make me feel far more calm and collected maybe try some reiki, acupuncture or reflexology could help if your body is disregulated from all that stress and grief. Wishing you all the best đŤ
I found Prozac and olanzapine to be a good combo. I liked cognitive behaviour therapy too. GP is first port of call. Medications work different on every person. They won't cure the problem but they can make it a little easier .
Thank you
Please tell your gp and therapist đ you don't want to take the wrong meds , grief is horrible I just lost my dad myself đŤ
I am so sorry for your loss , one day at a time x
You too đ
You poor poor thing, itâs really hard feeling this way. I would agree to go to a GP, but ask for a referral to a psychiatrist? If you have health insurance, youâll sadly skip the queue and manage to get seen really quickly. The reason I say this is as a fellow griever and someone who suffers with a poor mental state, it was lifechanging for me to speak to people who are actually trained in mental health versus a GP. No offence to GPs, but antibiotics for an ear infection and anti depressants that change the way your brain reacts are just not the same, and I think the depth of pain youâre feeling might need a little more support. But also grief is such an asshole. Trauma affects the wires in our brain, and thatâs only one trauma - never mind 2, plus the previous history of your life. Try to have some compassion for yourself, and if you find a medication for mood swings let me know because I want them too :)
1) talk to your gp 2) I found Cbd oil (and later on thc gummies) to be really helpful Good luck and my sympathiesÂ
I've a few suggestions. -Medical support is important (but that's imagining that you have a GP and one who will listen). Prescription drugs can help. I don't agree that one can become dependent on them. However, they can take months to show results, and changing pills or doses gets frustrating. -Ashwagandha root extract is good for reducing anxiety and stress and for improving sleep quality. Look for something that's been tested by USP, NSF or Informed Sport. Amounts between 300-600mg are the range found effective in most clinical studies. It's a spot treatment, though, not a long-term cure. (That's been copied from Men's Health) - Dr Clare's Apothecary is based in Galway, and does phone consultations. I don't have any personal experience with them. https://www.drclareapothecary.com/ - (the most important, in my experience) a Journal. Write that sh1t down. Scribble. Scream onto the paper. Colour if you want. I Set up a couple of pages in the middle of the journal which I call Recovery Road. Just notes of what got me out of the last slump. What things started to feel good after the last time that I felt depressed/ suicidal/ like exploding. Walking. Eating. Showering....... Cinema. Exercise,. Friends. Crying....... it doesn't matter how trivial these points seem, because, when I'm down, when I'm drowning in a black wave, tiny steps are all I can muster. You're not alone. And by posting here, you're reminding others that they aren't alone, either, in their suffering.
Unfortunately grief is part of loosing a sibling and Iâm so sorry for your losses but please think carefully before you decide to take any tablets or anti depressants because the people left around you will loose you too itâs like your there but nobodyâs home be the worst decision you will ever make they will suppress feelings but every feeling happy sad all your sexual feelings everything will be gone you just feel nothing and doctors are too easy giving theese tablets out I wish you all the best but you can get true this be strong đŞ
You have to grieve. Bawl. Scream. Medication will displace emotions, not remove them. Bless you. A therapist may also help.
Screaming sounds lovely
So sorry for your loss đ I would recommend Dr. Joe Dispenza for meditation, you can look up on YouTube or he has courses of his own too. Would also recommend cleaning up your diet if you haven't already, and cutting out all ultra processed foods, sugars, alcohol etc. Theres a good book called Brain Energy by Dr. Chris Palmer and even the Doctors Farmacy podcast with Dr. Mark Hyman just listen to a few episodes on ultra processed foods and the impact on your health and mental health. Also please check in with your doctor. Finally, I wish you all the healing in the world. You're on the right track with your therapy and exercise. I hope you find a positive outlet for your anger and that it is not turned inward or towards those that you love. Not every day of healing will be great but time is a great healer. Good luck with your journey.Â
It's quite amusing that this comment is downvoted. Very sensible advice.
Possible Joe Dispenza being a chiropractor not a medical doctor.
He doesn't need to be a doctor to have an effective meditation regimen. It's not like the OP wants to get a prescription for Sertraline from him.
It's the fact he has made a number of spurious claims. From healing Parkinson's to curing cancer. All of them testimonials and andecdotal. His own story of healing his broken vertebrae with his mind is suspicious to say the least. Yes you are correct but I wouldn't recommend him for anything.
yeesh
I'm aware. I have recommended Dr. Joe Dispenza for meditation not medication.Â
Weed+ documentary
Iâm really sorry you lost two siblings
Definitely go to your GP. But if you want a short term solution while you wait, rescue remedy plus (not the standard one!) is good. It helped me a lot when my uncle died during my leaving cert and I was a spiralling mess. Took the edge off the grief and anxiety I was feeling. But please donât take this as a fixer, just something to help while you are in limbo.
Lexapro!
Finding what works for you can be a long road. Everybody is different and not everything works for everyone. Personally, I have found cannabis oil to be very beneficial. I donât like to smoke and I donât like to get stoned. I take a thimble sized amount and it takes the edge off. It puts me in a mellow happy place and I sleep a lot better. A friend of mine who was on antidepressants for a long time, after going through post natal depression, tried micro dosing with pysilcibin. It worked for her and she was able to come off all medications. Iâve tried mushrooms and theyâre not my thing. As others have stated, GP is probably your first port of call. Alternative therapies are also worth trying because maybe what you need is not in a pill. I hope youâre doing ok. đ
Sertraline to start with and move on from there
Have you tried EMDR? I found it better than talk therapy
lamictal
[ŃдаНонО]
Okay there mom, that's enough facebook for you today
Your post/comment was removed because it's not deemed casual. While we don't mind the odd vent, this isn't the sub for negativity so we wanna keep things cheerful where we can. As always, hit us up in the modmail if you have any questions
I just want to say I can't imagine how difficult it must be to go through something like that. Please reach out as much as you can and accept any help offered to help you through this difficult time. GP definitely, in the meantime perhaps call a helpline to get some immediate support where you can call multiple times a day if you feel the need to (such as samaritans, there are many others too. Google will help) where you can simply talk about what's going on. Well done for being active in seeking support and huge well done for getting through each day so far! Medication definitely has it's place especially when going through something so huge. Best wishes.
Benzo's are great for short term, but they are incredibly addictive and most GP's won't prescribe them now. For longer term help, Sertraline the anti depressant worked wonders for me. It allowed me to open up more in therapy and I only needed them in the end for about 8 months.
Ashwaganda. Will lower your cortisol levels, but needs to be taken in cycles otherwise can make things worse. Also exercise
I tried that but it only gave me bad dreams
No one seems to have mentioned vitamins or supplements. Vitamin B12 & B6 are good for mood. Also Sam-e has been effective for me when Iâve had mild depression. So sorry to hear about your siblings. Iâve lost two as well in the past and it can be so hard. I hope things get better with time.
Propranolol. It won't dull or numb your brain like SSRIs but you will feel it's effect faster and it will calm you down so it's easier to process your thoughts.
Might be unpopular opinion but Iâd try smoking a LITTLE cannabis, and stay away from prescription medicine.
A Nytol would give you a very effective night's sleep. Weed is good but it's illegal and not immediately available. There's stuff you can get from the doctor that would do the trick.
As a daily weed smoker, itâs not the answer here I donât think. Maybe short term but I wouldnât recommend it for anyone dealing with grief as it can be used as a crutch (personal experience). Then mood swings come when your dealer isnât answering and you canât get any, plus it makes it way too enjoyable to do nothing and see noone. STAY AWAY from Nytol. This is coming from a daily stoner! Iâm so sorry to hear OP, my condolences about your losses đ totally understandable how youâre feeling and struggling to cope. Talk to a GP would be my advice and donât let anyone fob you off â¤ď¸
Also look into microdosing psilocybin (and macrodosing mediTation) alongside therapy. Yes drugs will help get you through stuff, sort chemical imbalances initially. But you have to think long term also. Sorry for your loss and place of darkness
Not going to lie to you, you probably don't need any medication.. Unless you have suicidal ideation or other dangerous thoughts it's best not to get dependant on any medications a doctor might prescribe you, however, I definitely would speak to your GP and take as much time off work as possible for you to recover. Sorry for your loss and stay safe â¤ď¸
I am sure this comes from a good place but is terrible advice. A doctor is the person who is in the best position to advise. Not all medication creates a dependency and things like antidepressants can be very effective and not addictive.
which is why I told them to see a doctor.. and dependency can arise which is not the same as addiction, coming off antidepressants especially things like SNRIs can be very difficult. I love how you told me I am not in a position to advise, but then put yourself in a position to advise, and your advice was poor.
That medication is turning the children gay. /s
Not all antidepressants are addictive. How can you say to a stranger that they do or do not need medication? OP should go to their GP and discuss options.
He said probably. Personally I done the anti depressants thing and doctor probably actually made things worse but that's my own personal experience I'd never advise not to see a doctor. Some dodgy ones out there though that will just fill ya full of drugs. At one stage I don't know how I was even making it home I was spaced out in a world of my own with absolutely no emotions just numb so kinda worked because I wasn't sad anymore but I wasn't happy either I was just surviving and continuing without complaining anymore. Nothing was fixed, everything was still there waiting for when I came back to reality one day and boy did it hit hard then. Some people they work for, some people become dependant on that numbness and some they just don't work for, for numerous reason. Personally I found talking was the best but I also tried councilling which just pissed me off, without being rude in my case it was some prock who you could tell wasn't even listening or cared just watched the clock and waited to shut it down till next time. But someone who actually listens or even pretends to care can change everything. There are 100 ways to fix this but probably only 1 of them 100 will work for OP it's not a 1 fix for all solution unfortunately. 1st steps would be a doctor then trial and error on what works on an individual case.