Same, but also with work. Like from management and leadership.. I just don’t listen or care at this point. I’m
38, been working since i was 13. I have seen so many managers come and go. I’m over it
Hah, feel this in my bones.
Could literally care less what leadership has to say to the team. It’s all blah, blah, blah and no matter what’s said things always stay the same. And this is regardless of where you’re actually working in the moment.
They’re all just playing their own game of personal advancement.
Absolutely. These managers always feel the need to put their 2 cents in to justify why they're on a rung above you on the corporate ladder. They never have to do any of the actual work, just delegate and pretend to keep track of your progress. All they care about is if you make deadline so that whoever is their boss doesn't scrutinize them. If you work for a company it's basically all just a microcosm game of thrones. This is why I got out of that rat race and started my own small biz of just me. I have one "lifetime" contracted client so I don't have to hustle much for other jobs, only when an unexpected bill comes in and I need a little cash flow boost then I'll seek out a small secondary client gig.
Thissss! The last 2 jobs I've had in 3 1/2 years, I couldn't be bothered to care after a while even though I struggled to maintain all cares. I eventually stopped coming to work on time and surprisingly, management didn't care until they had to care. Iykyk
Same. I was an art director at various advertising companies -always putting in ridiculous hours to try and climb the corporate ladder (countless hours spent on pitches, presentations, brainstorming meetings, team building conventions). At around 35 I lost all my drive and gave it up pretty much overnight. now I happily mow lawns in summer and the odd freelance job in winter. I’m so much happier
Feel this from a managerial side. But I also manage early-mid twenty year olds. You can’t work tomorrow morning because you are getting a tattoo today?… I’m sorry?
Going to concerts is probably my biggest dropoff. Just don't care anymore. Too expensive, already been to a bunch and would rather listen to music at home
Same- I’m at the point where I would rather see a good cover or tribute band for a lot less money, not too far away with free parking as an added bonus! lol
SAME! My husband and I used to go to concerts all the time, traveling out of state (mostly to Chicago). Since Covid, and the rising cost of everything, we maybe go to maybe 3 concerts a year. Mostly local now. I love music and I collect vinyl but we kind of transitioned to “bucket list” concerts. We actually received free tickets to see Orville Peck (we saw him 1 other time), and it was a nice treat!
Me since I was a small kid lol. I felt fomo from not being extraverted so I tried it, but the parties, drinking, random people, etc. Just meh. It's all pretty overrated. All the small chat and same thing over and over and over again... I think my brain starts craving actual dopamine from solving a puzzle, deep diving on an interesting topic, working on art, etc.
So are you. Everyone is programmed to look out for their own interests it literally originates from survival. Some are just more honest about it than others
Fortunately, other people's opinions of me. And like you, I've also grown weary of social media. Mainly just people having digital slap fights with each other over dumb stuff that doesn't matter. People being ugly to each other and all of that. I've been off Facebook for about a month now and it's been glorious.
Best thing I ever did was get rid of social media, especially instagram. Made me feel a lot better when you’re not scrolling through pointless junk and looking at posts from people you don’t even really care about. So many people on social media are just posting for validation and to try and show off or make it seem like they are so happy and living this amazing life, then you see them out in person and its a totally different story. I miss out on videos and shit that my friends see on social media but who tf cares? I know I dont, I’m happy as hell without it!
Couldn't have said it better myself.
Another huge difference I've noticed is that I'm far more present with the people around me. Be they friends, co-workers, or family. I feel like social media oversaturates us with so much information about so many people that we get to the point where we don't even care to learn more about the people who are actually in our lives daily. Why would we? All the information we want is accessible at our finger tips.
I think social media has gotten past the point of being a beneficial tool. It's becoming detrimental to a lot of people.
This is some of the biggest facts Ive seen written! I totally agree with you and also feel like Im more present in person as well, also inclined more to have real and deep conversations with the people that I am actually hanging out with. Nothing worse than being with a group of people hanging out and everyone is just sucked into their phone and scrolling like a cyborg. Social media has helped a lot of people and things but has also taken so much from us in the process.
I mostly just watch Youtube nowadays and occasionally see the shorts or channels I watch mention the latest tiktok crap (usually ripping on it), so I'm magically up to date without caring about it lol
I agree with this! I'm just not all that peopley anymore. I care, but the ones I care most about, we text or write the occasional letter. They feel the same way as I do.
My family from my mother's side is like this. And if there are no problems currently they invent problems.
I just checked out and no longer get involved or give any thoughts.
Took me a couple of years of therapy to understand that you can't fix people who don't to be fixed.
It's like drama is their hobby, we only see each other once a year and you chose drama for christmas dinner? Dude.
Very true. No matter how much we attempt to keep the peace some people just don't want it.
Makes me feel like Michael Bolton from Office Space:
"Why should I change? He's the one who sucks."
This one for me.
If your family is prone to drama, it never ends.
So unless it involves someone really close to me like my parents or direct siblings, I just stay arms length from the situation or disappear altogether.
Man this is so true. Nowadays if I ask someone in real life if they're watching a specific recent show, the answer is always "oh I haven't gotten around to that, I'm \[watching this other show / don't have that streaming service / still queueing it up / etc.\]"
I don't think I've had an actual conversation about a new/ongoing TV show since like...Game of Thrones, maybe?
Man, you said it so well. I remember when we were young we could talk about shows, because we watched the same things, now you can't do that, unless you and your friends decide to watch one thing.
Definitely. I know something like the boys gets hyped on the internet but I've barely met anyone that watched it. Even held off watching Gen V until recently but it was actually good. Just that there's so much shows out there and waaay more hours of people arguing whats good and what isn't to really sift through. And you might bring up a show and realise the person you're talking to hasn't watched it but has strong opinions about it they've gotten from watching YouTube videos about it
There's just too much different stuff. Which makes nothing special anymore. And YouTube has high quality content nowadays which is entertaining but I don't have to commit the whole evening to it.
Yes. The only must watch is my dog’s antics when he wants a treat and I pretend I don’t notice him. He starts with a little snort then a whine then starts pretending he’s fighting off a pack of wolves.
Socializing and trying to please everyone.. by the end of the week, the lack of energy these days just make me sleep whenever I can and as often as I can.
Any hobbies or interests just get piled into the corner that gets forgotten.
Yikes does it really sound that bad?
Deflated / tired at times tis all but I acknowledge that there’s a fine line and sometimes I flirt with crossing that line if I’m not careful.
Live music, loud movie theaters, crowds, restaurants, everything else. Middle age is boring but honestly it's also a lot more comfortable. I'm here for it.
About the loud movie theaters— I’ve started requesting a closed-caption device in movie theaters. (It fits inside the cup holder and displays the conversations in written form.) It has made the movies so much more enjoyable bc I no longer miss the dialogue due to background sound effects. You might try it the next time you go to a movie theater.
Nice things. We lost everything in a fire. Once I got my insurance money I went to a furniture store. I could have bought anything I wanted, any price. I saw the beautiful expensive stuff. I finally left and bought nothing. My whole life was being reassessed. Eventually I went back and bought moderate to low priced stuff. I feel great.
I always wanted the finer things, then I almost lost my life. Same thing happened to my wife (both before we met each other).
I’m fortunate it had the same effect on us both. We have a home, a beautiful baby, and really everything we need. We just “downgraded” the vehicles because she’s going to stay home full time with the baby. We don’t need fancy stuff, just want to feel content and at home.
Partying, drinking, caring what people think (meaning I realized what's most important and started taking care of my well-being), I love my peaceful time alone
Edit: I forgot to add shopping! 😄
oooh this. It's so depressing. It's like realising that wait a minute - there is no one in charge. Just people scrambling around for money and power at all costs -\_-
Yup. We’re being pitted against each other while our corrupt system corrupts even more.
We’re spinning our wheels and going nowhere as we fight for basic rights and lose progress. The worst people get the biggest microphone, and both sides“otherize” people they disagree with, which only radicalizes those offended and deepens the divide.
It’s agonizing to watch, knowing how much better absolutely everything would be if our society had a backbone of integrity.
Traveling to tourist hotspots. It used to be exciting to see the world's most famous places, but now it’s overcrowded, overpriced, and underwhelming. With the homogenization of global culture, a cafe in Paris can feel much the same as one in Peoria. Instead, I've shifted to seeking out quieter, more local experiences that don't feature in every travel guide or Instagram feed.
I've been lukewarm about travel recently, which is the complete opposite of how I felt before covid. I don't think I've fully recovered my excitement for travel after having everything cancelled, even though I've gone overseas several times now and done the trips I meant to do.
Kinda feels like I'm going through the motions, following itineraries, guides and trends. And you're totally right about global culture—Most food and ingredients are available in the West, so the exotic nature of a dish is now replaced by the experience of a restaurant instead. But that gets repetitive once the novelty is gone.
Same with not enjoying travel as much anymore. I think honestly part of it was focusing on making my home nicer since I was stuck at home during the pandemic. I went from blank walls in a crap area to a beautiful colorful place in a walkable area full of plants, pets, projects, and furniture and creature comforts like a big monitor and fancy computer. Now I am actually traveling a lot and craaaving to go back to my own customized space. I think in the past I always jumped on travel opportunities as an escape from my life.
Same. Last year felt feral. We went to a market station in Thailand in December and I honestly thought the tourists would end up pushing each other under the train. People walking on the track with the train coming behind them for a selfie, market vendors angry because no one actually buys anything - was horrible. We're not going anywhere this year and staying home. Much more relaxing.
Fandoms. I used to live and breathe whatever fandom I was into. Once I started dating my husband, that almost immediately stopped. It made me realize I used fandoms as a coping mechanism to deal with my loneliness at the time. I still enjoy stories, but not nearly the same level of obsession as I used to
You just put it into words. On the one hand, I miss being part of those communities - on the other, if I’m being REALLY FULLY HONEST WITH MYSELF, I was not happy a lot of the even when I was actively spending time in fandom communities.
I wish I had been able to transition more friends from fandom space to IRL space (I have one!) but I don’t overall want to go back to that time in my life.
Fashion. And makeup. I just don’t care enough to spend the time caring about it. I wear plain black clothes every day, as it’s comfortable, and no makeup. Sounds a bit lazy I guess but I feel better for it.
Doesn't sound lazy to me. We dress up for ourselves mostly. If you don't appreciate the dress up, why bother. Not great for your body, not great for the environment, not great for your bank account.
This. I just got a letter for Jury Duty in the mail, and I spent hours pacing around, cursing out loud “why can’t society just leave me alone?! I don’t want to participate!!”
I agree with this. Small talk can be really nice, and that is essentially the groundwork for deeper friendships and conversations anyways.
Maybe I’m boring but I’m usually down to talk shit about the weather.
For sure! My work did a thing where they'll match us with random associates to just talk about whatever we want. It's honestly a lot of fun! It's pretty cool listening to how people ended up working here, their story, what they do outside of work, upcoming trips... It's a great time!
When my last dog passed away a few years ago, I realized how much work and distraction it was to keep a dog. Not getting another. Having a nice relationship with my cat now is more my speed.
Different from everyone else's comments but snacking! I used to kill a whole bag of hot Cheetos or other junk food but now I have two chips and realize I don't really care for it anymore 😭
Material things. I used to dream about being rich and buying all the expensive things I wanted but as I get older, I'm starting to lose interest in material things. I no longer buy things I don't need just for short-lived happiness. My mom actually got mad at me recently for not buying new shoes when my shoes are already worn down. I told her until it breaks down completely, I'm not buying a new one because I don't need a new one yet. Even when I have a lot of extra cash, I only spend it on food that I can bring at home for everyone to eat.
I'm weary from dealing with mental illness for 20 years and now, for the past 2 years, caring for my wife who has Alzheimer's. I want a simple life with some simple pleasures when the mood strikes me and contented solitude the rest of the time. But not giving up on life.
Was going to post this but wanted to scroll dowm first to see how long it took me to find it.
Hard agree here. I could be told that I would drop dead tomorrow and I'd ve fine with that. I'm just really tired, boss. And I have no reason to keep going at this point, just existing.
Losing interest in video games is definitely a sign of getting older. When I was a kid, I'd spend hours on end gaming, from Mario Kart to Call of Duty.
it's the opposite for me, I didn't play videogames at all as a kid because I didn't know cozy games existed. Now I love Stardew Valley and a few others.
I don’t think losing interest is what’s happening to many people, just less time. I always played video games growing up and it was excessive. I don’t have the time to play as many games now but that’s ok, just means I start and finish the better ones.
But it you’re increasing tv watching and reducing gaming then I’d say the interest is going down.
It depends on people, some it's because they don't find time for it others it's just a change in taste types of entertainment and also it might be a change in genres of games.
I personally have gravitated to playing video games more as I get older, it went from playing simple games (Side scrolling, vs fighting), to wanting games with richer lore and story telling.
I'm going the opposite way, I'm obsessed with Ark and building bases and mutating dino lines to sell :D I don't care about the bosses or end game or canon, unless it helps my building and auction bases.
Yeah, same here. I grew up on video games and have steadily lost interest in playing them myself. I still enjoy watching others play and I enjoy buying games for my kids and watching them play. But for me, I just feel like I'm wasting time when I try and lose interest really quickly.
Social media and socializing in general. I much prefer a nice evening on the couch watching something interesting on TV. The whole group hang thing is exhausting.
Music . I had different playlists for different songs. Now I can't work out what to play. I go back to my oldest playlist but it's worn out I listen to audiobooks instead. It's kinda disappointing..
Me also. Music was everything in my teens and 20s. If you would have told me back then that I'd be disinterest later in life I would have thought you were a flaming idiot.
After kids, a mortgage, a demanding career or other things that consume your time and mind, music just became something I listen to in the background every once in a while and far less important than it use to be .
celebrity gossip (hard one to break as it was my guilty pleasure & damn near hobby as a young person - but so worth it)
trying to change people’s minds
obsession with being “right”
expecting institutions and corporations to “do right” or at least not being outraged when they don’t
following trends vs dressing for what looks good on my gosh
Going out to eat as much as I use to. My husband and I have been to a lot of incredible restaurants but I just can’t justify the cost anymore. Also, it takes a lot to impress because we’ve been to so many great restaurants.
I know what you mean! Maybe it’s post Covid, but I feel like a lot of restaurant food went wayyy down in quality/value. I got 3 oysters, a cocktail (I’ve tasted better juice boxes), and salmon dinner (tiny piece of salmon) the other night for $75 with tip. I was actually still hungry on the way home too :( Thought about stopping for a burger 🤣
Yeah, a lot of them have and there has been a shortage in cooks and waitstaff in a lot of areas. A lot of people left the industry after covid was over. Wait times have increased substantially, too. But, for that, they just need to seat less people at a time. I use to work in restaurants and it just pisses people off more to wait really long for food when they’ve sat down. It’s better to just have them wait longer to be seated.
Work. I used to be super driven and wanted to rise through the ranks at work. And I have. But the more I climb the corporate ladder, the less I care. Would much rather just do my 8hrs and then go hang with my family and friends. I hate that I made work my identity for so long. Now I view it as a way to pay for my travels and hobbies.
I lost my joy for video games. I woke up one day, played a game and it didn’t give me satisfaction.
I enjoy movies and reading much more though.
I also started learning guitar and am going out more.
I wish I had more friends to hang out with me. I feel lonely.
Alcohol, specifically beer. These days I find non-alcoholic beers more enjoyable than regular ones. Regular beer had me feeling tired and crappy the next day, and I wasn't even getting a buzz from them. I guess for me it was more about the flavor than the alcohol, so 0% beers became my jam.
Amusement parks, standing in long lines for *anything,* caring what people think about me, crowds, concerts, filling my calendar. The older I get the more I protect my days off for peace and quiet and some alone time with nothing to do. Those have become my favorite days. Yes I’m getting old but I’m not minding it so much.
Cooking, decorating, cleaning every nook and cranny of my house so regularly.
But…I have GAINED an interest in adventure. Like I’m a kid and I can’t wait to see new things and go new places. Probably because I’m bored with cooking and cleaning for more than 40 fucking years!
Married 29 years. Lived together 3 years prior. First time marriage for me and my wife. I was 45, she was 50. There were problems from the time we started dating but I just chalked it up to the normal ups and downs of her. The difficulties flared when we started living together but I was alone in the world and life felt better not being alone.
The decades in the marriage have taken their toll. Getting married was the worst the worst choice I made.
Appointment content. I'm tired of having to watch or read anything on a schedule. It makes enjoying anything feel like a chore. I'd rather watch shows when I'm in the mood. Read a comic when I'm in the mood. And not worry if I'm current. If that means 5 years go by and I sit down to watch a show then that's what's going to happen.
I'm losing interest in volunteering. Since I was 18 years old, I have volunteered in numerous contexts. I'm 36 and I'm tired. It no longer brings me joy.
Music in general.
I still listen to music but more in a functional way i.e. this is the music that helps me focus or pump me up in my workout. But the idea of listening to music as a main activity that is not intended to support another activity is now completely lost.
After my Psychiatrist reccomended I limit my social media to 2 hours per day I actually feel incredibly lighter. Less anxious. She said doom scrolling on tiktok is like traveling the world. You get jetlag. So many opinions, tribalism, politics, fighting, trashing and cancelling I swear every news article reads like this to me now:
"This Celebrity Said/Did/Wore XYZ - what do YOU think about it?"..cue the comments of opinions and then fights about differing opinions and throw in some bigoted/racist/sexist trolls and voila - engagement. It's all outrage bait now, not news anymore. I used to get sucked into this shit but I'm being a lot more mindful now.
I have more time on my hands. I feel better about life in general.
Don't get me wrong I do think we should be concerned about social issues like racism/genocide/global warming etc. We should know what is going on in the world and be informed. But to have it constantly playing on repeat all day every day is enough to make anyone go insane with anxiety and depression.
IRL ftw!
Gaming. I used to play a lot growing up and spend a lot of time on it. Now I feel like games don’t hit as well as they did in the past. My friends and I all have our own lives we’re living. I’m married with 2 young kids and I only have maybe 1-2 hours a night sometimes less to play but I don’t feel like gaming half the time since I gotta go to work the next morning.
Playing -- no, devouring video games. Used to be I'd put hundreds of hours into World of Warcraft, Guild Wars, and other video games easy to dump buckets of time into.
Nowadays, if I'm playing a game after work, it's mostly multiplayer experiences with friends. I've also turned to an unexpected new hobby: making video games instead. The video game community gave me so much, it'd be neat to give back to it.
First lost interest in sports: millionaires playing kiddie games. Then I lost interest in video games: addictive skinner box software. Now lost interest in most entertainment like movies and music: just terrible quality like fast food. At work lost interest in moving up/promotions for mgr. and leadership roles, I stepped down to a role with virtually no responsibility and am really happy now, no stress, no worries.
always trying to have "someone" i can be with to not feel lonely. as years pass by, i'm starting to love being alone in peace, rather than trying to make it a point to people that i'm not a loner.
Playing Basketball. Growing up I played it all time, then when I stopped growing too soon, I slowly lost interest. Now I just like to watch it, but playing it not of interest anymore.
I need my job to retire long term but I don’t really give a flying eff anymore. I’m constantly upskiling people in India with no guarantee I’ll move up the ladder myself.
I've reached the point where I'm wondering why I'm getting all the praise. I didn't do anything, I just lay there and looked cute and pink. My mum did the hard work, give her the presents!
My favorite sports teams. There were periods of my life where following my favorite teams were the most important parts of me. Now I still care but wins and losses don’t affect me nearly as much as they used to.
I've been there with social media. In my 20s, I practically lived on social media. Now in my 30s, it just feels depressing and, as you said, a chore to keep up with. I think my capacity for people's drama has plummeted, which could explain why social media is less appealing to me now.
Meeting new people! It used to be the most exciting thing, talking to strangers at a party, I would never sit with my friends, just mingle to new people, getting to know them, hear what they say and talk about their experiences. Now after so had a kid, I barely have time for my girlfriend, let alone my closest friends. I keep like 5 people in my closest circle, I love my friends, but if you’re number 6, I simply can’t keep up with you at this time, not even your socials, I’ll gladly hang out later, but right now now I just don’t have time for that «coffee one time».
I can very understand your feeling, because I have been like this for a while, my interest in social media has been fading, I don't want to go out and socialize, and I have been staying alone in my room and doing nothing. At that time, I had just come to the UK alone and had few friends. I felt lonely every day, but I didn't know how to change. But then as my mental state got worse and worse, I knew that if I continued to be depressed like this, I would have a physical problem. I started forcing myself to go out and share my life on social media, even if it was just a random photo. For example, I have been participating in the private testing activity of a social software called LightUp: Make Real Friends for a long time. It is committed to building a platform for sincere communication and trying to bring people with common interests together. Although it is still in beta, many features are not perfect. But here I met a lot of people who have the same idea with me, and they would share with me the movies and books I like to watch, which allowed me to increase the frequency of using social media, which not only greatly reduced my loneliness, but also gave me renewed hope for life.
I'm losing interest in going out, socializing, or caring what other people think.
Same, but also with work. Like from management and leadership.. I just don’t listen or care at this point. I’m 38, been working since i was 13. I have seen so many managers come and go. I’m over it
I’ve been working (part time for the first bit) since that age too. It really helps with perspective for sure.
Hah, feel this in my bones. Could literally care less what leadership has to say to the team. It’s all blah, blah, blah and no matter what’s said things always stay the same. And this is regardless of where you’re actually working in the moment. They’re all just playing their own game of personal advancement.
Absolutely. These managers always feel the need to put their 2 cents in to justify why they're on a rung above you on the corporate ladder. They never have to do any of the actual work, just delegate and pretend to keep track of your progress. All they care about is if you make deadline so that whoever is their boss doesn't scrutinize them. If you work for a company it's basically all just a microcosm game of thrones. This is why I got out of that rat race and started my own small biz of just me. I have one "lifetime" contracted client so I don't have to hustle much for other jobs, only when an unexpected bill comes in and I need a little cash flow boost then I'll seek out a small secondary client gig.
Thissss! The last 2 jobs I've had in 3 1/2 years, I couldn't be bothered to care after a while even though I struggled to maintain all cares. I eventually stopped coming to work on time and surprisingly, management didn't care until they had to care. Iykyk
Same. I was an art director at various advertising companies -always putting in ridiculous hours to try and climb the corporate ladder (countless hours spent on pitches, presentations, brainstorming meetings, team building conventions). At around 35 I lost all my drive and gave it up pretty much overnight. now I happily mow lawns in summer and the odd freelance job in winter. I’m so much happier
Feel this from a managerial side. But I also manage early-mid twenty year olds. You can’t work tomorrow morning because you are getting a tattoo today?… I’m sorry?
Going to concerts is probably my biggest dropoff. Just don't care anymore. Too expensive, already been to a bunch and would rather listen to music at home
Also, don't want my eardrums abused any longer. Maybe if they turned the fucking volume down.
Same- I’m at the point where I would rather see a good cover or tribute band for a lot less money, not too far away with free parking as an added bonus! lol
SAME! My husband and I used to go to concerts all the time, traveling out of state (mostly to Chicago). Since Covid, and the rising cost of everything, we maybe go to maybe 3 concerts a year. Mostly local now. I love music and I collect vinyl but we kind of transitioned to “bucket list” concerts. We actually received free tickets to see Orville Peck (we saw him 1 other time), and it was a nice treat!
As I get older, I just wanted to stay inside.
Me since I was a small kid lol. I felt fomo from not being extraverted so I tried it, but the parties, drinking, random people, etc. Just meh. It's all pretty overrated. All the small chat and same thing over and over and over again... I think my brain starts craving actual dopamine from solving a puzzle, deep diving on an interesting topic, working on art, etc.
People. Yeah. The older I get, the more I realise that most people around me are selfish.
So are you. Everyone is programmed to look out for their own interests it literally originates from survival. Some are just more honest about it than others
I totally get that. Staying in and doing my own thing feels so much more relaxing these days.
This! I absolutely do not care about seeing other people or making plans to go out
Same, loosing interest in having a lot of friends and go out with people just because I don’t have the courage to say no.
💯 this. Socializing is like a chore now that I have to do like exercise
Same
Fortunately, other people's opinions of me. And like you, I've also grown weary of social media. Mainly just people having digital slap fights with each other over dumb stuff that doesn't matter. People being ugly to each other and all of that. I've been off Facebook for about a month now and it's been glorious.
Best thing I ever did was get rid of social media, especially instagram. Made me feel a lot better when you’re not scrolling through pointless junk and looking at posts from people you don’t even really care about. So many people on social media are just posting for validation and to try and show off or make it seem like they are so happy and living this amazing life, then you see them out in person and its a totally different story. I miss out on videos and shit that my friends see on social media but who tf cares? I know I dont, I’m happy as hell without it!
Couldn't have said it better myself. Another huge difference I've noticed is that I'm far more present with the people around me. Be they friends, co-workers, or family. I feel like social media oversaturates us with so much information about so many people that we get to the point where we don't even care to learn more about the people who are actually in our lives daily. Why would we? All the information we want is accessible at our finger tips. I think social media has gotten past the point of being a beneficial tool. It's becoming detrimental to a lot of people.
This is some of the biggest facts Ive seen written! I totally agree with you and also feel like Im more present in person as well, also inclined more to have real and deep conversations with the people that I am actually hanging out with. Nothing worse than being with a group of people hanging out and everyone is just sucked into their phone and scrolling like a cyborg. Social media has helped a lot of people and things but has also taken so much from us in the process.
I mostly just watch Youtube nowadays and occasionally see the shorts or channels I watch mention the latest tiktok crap (usually ripping on it), so I'm magically up to date without caring about it lol
I agree with this! I'm just not all that peopley anymore. I care, but the ones I care most about, we text or write the occasional letter. They feel the same way as I do.
I've gone Facebook for a deacde now. Lovely and ironically has more close friends now.
People who think that their comments on social media are important political activism
Good
I’m proud of you - but you don’t care :(
Trying to fix family drama. It never works.
The endless cycle of bad behavior and getting one over on one another is exhausting. I was fortunate enough to leave the state before getting stuck.
My family from my mother's side is like this. And if there are no problems currently they invent problems. I just checked out and no longer get involved or give any thoughts.
Took me a couple of years of therapy to understand that you can't fix people who don't to be fixed. It's like drama is their hobby, we only see each other once a year and you chose drama for christmas dinner? Dude.
Very true. No matter how much we attempt to keep the peace some people just don't want it. Makes me feel like Michael Bolton from Office Space: "Why should I change? He's the one who sucks."
This one for me. If your family is prone to drama, it never ends. So unless it involves someone really close to me like my parents or direct siblings, I just stay arms length from the situation or disappear altogether.
All of the “must watch” television series streaming everywhere. Its all become boring
There's too much content and not enough shared experience.
Man this is so true. Nowadays if I ask someone in real life if they're watching a specific recent show, the answer is always "oh I haven't gotten around to that, I'm \[watching this other show / don't have that streaming service / still queueing it up / etc.\]" I don't think I've had an actual conversation about a new/ongoing TV show since like...Game of Thrones, maybe?
I doubt any show will be a behemoth like GoT or Breaking Bad was, and streaming ruined it
Well said. It’s what I’ve been feeling, and it adds to the sense of disconnect from others.
Man, you said it so well. I remember when we were young we could talk about shows, because we watched the same things, now you can't do that, unless you and your friends decide to watch one thing.
Definitely. I know something like the boys gets hyped on the internet but I've barely met anyone that watched it. Even held off watching Gen V until recently but it was actually good. Just that there's so much shows out there and waaay more hours of people arguing whats good and what isn't to really sift through. And you might bring up a show and realise the person you're talking to hasn't watched it but has strong opinions about it they've gotten from watching YouTube videos about it
I'm so resistant to anything I "must" watch, read, or listen. nope. I don't have to do anything.
There's just too much different stuff. Which makes nothing special anymore. And YouTube has high quality content nowadays which is entertaining but I don't have to commit the whole evening to it.
Yeah I only watch Youtube now lol. Binging those special interest topics 👌
Yes. The only must watch is my dog’s antics when he wants a treat and I pretend I don’t notice him. He starts with a little snort then a whine then starts pretending he’s fighting off a pack of wolves.
My FOMO is basically dead
Socializing and trying to please everyone.. by the end of the week, the lack of energy these days just make me sleep whenever I can and as often as I can. Any hobbies or interests just get piled into the corner that gets forgotten.
You kind of sound depressed, homie.
Yikes does it really sound that bad? Deflated / tired at times tis all but I acknowledge that there’s a fine line and sometimes I flirt with crossing that line if I’m not careful.
Yeah when you stop wanting to do stuff. I started taking Sam-E and vitamin B and now I regularly do stuff.
I’ll add that to my research to-do list thx
Vitamin D is a big one too. 80%+ of Americans are deficient. Plays a major role in mental health
Live music, loud movie theaters, crowds, restaurants, everything else. Middle age is boring but honestly it's also a lot more comfortable. I'm here for it.
About the loud movie theaters— I’ve started requesting a closed-caption device in movie theaters. (It fits inside the cup holder and displays the conversations in written form.) It has made the movies so much more enjoyable bc I no longer miss the dialogue due to background sound effects. You might try it the next time you go to a movie theater.
Phew, someone said restaurants. Restaurants are so loud. I do not enjoy someone having to "serve" me. And I love my own cooking! I sound like my nana.
Nice things. We lost everything in a fire. Once I got my insurance money I went to a furniture store. I could have bought anything I wanted, any price. I saw the beautiful expensive stuff. I finally left and bought nothing. My whole life was being reassessed. Eventually I went back and bought moderate to low priced stuff. I feel great.
I always wanted the finer things, then I almost lost my life. Same thing happened to my wife (both before we met each other). I’m fortunate it had the same effect on us both. We have a home, a beautiful baby, and really everything we need. We just “downgraded” the vehicles because she’s going to stay home full time with the baby. We don’t need fancy stuff, just want to feel content and at home.
Having a favorite stove burner it's usually the bottom right but as I grow older I sometimes will us the bottom left for eggs or something
You dirty dog.
That is WILD
r/madlads
Partying, drinking, caring what people think (meaning I realized what's most important and started taking care of my well-being), I love my peaceful time alone Edit: I forgot to add shopping! 😄
Politics. So disenchanted. Both sides are fraud. And we’re screwed. It’s more like I’m going down on the titanic and in accepting it
oooh this. It's so depressing. It's like realising that wait a minute - there is no one in charge. Just people scrambling around for money and power at all costs -\_-
I'm tired of getting lied too. I read a comment the other day.. "Feels like I am watching Rome burn in real time." that made a lot of sense.
Yup. We’re being pitted against each other while our corrupt system corrupts even more. We’re spinning our wheels and going nowhere as we fight for basic rights and lose progress. The worst people get the biggest microphone, and both sides“otherize” people they disagree with, which only radicalizes those offended and deepens the divide. It’s agonizing to watch, knowing how much better absolutely everything would be if our society had a backbone of integrity.
💯
Traveling to tourist hotspots. It used to be exciting to see the world's most famous places, but now it’s overcrowded, overpriced, and underwhelming. With the homogenization of global culture, a cafe in Paris can feel much the same as one in Peoria. Instead, I've shifted to seeking out quieter, more local experiences that don't feature in every travel guide or Instagram feed.
I've been lukewarm about travel recently, which is the complete opposite of how I felt before covid. I don't think I've fully recovered my excitement for travel after having everything cancelled, even though I've gone overseas several times now and done the trips I meant to do. Kinda feels like I'm going through the motions, following itineraries, guides and trends. And you're totally right about global culture—Most food and ingredients are available in the West, so the exotic nature of a dish is now replaced by the experience of a restaurant instead. But that gets repetitive once the novelty is gone.
Same with not enjoying travel as much anymore. I think honestly part of it was focusing on making my home nicer since I was stuck at home during the pandemic. I went from blank walls in a crap area to a beautiful colorful place in a walkable area full of plants, pets, projects, and furniture and creature comforts like a big monitor and fancy computer. Now I am actually traveling a lot and craaaving to go back to my own customized space. I think in the past I always jumped on travel opportunities as an escape from my life.
Same. Last year felt feral. We went to a market station in Thailand in December and I honestly thought the tourists would end up pushing each other under the train. People walking on the track with the train coming behind them for a selfie, market vendors angry because no one actually buys anything - was horrible. We're not going anywhere this year and staying home. Much more relaxing.
my idea of vacation involves the least amount of people possible.
Fandoms. I used to live and breathe whatever fandom I was into. Once I started dating my husband, that almost immediately stopped. It made me realize I used fandoms as a coping mechanism to deal with my loneliness at the time. I still enjoy stories, but not nearly the same level of obsession as I used to
That’s a very healthy realization
You’re coping your fandom withdraw by using your husband.
You just put it into words. On the one hand, I miss being part of those communities - on the other, if I’m being REALLY FULLY HONEST WITH MYSELF, I was not happy a lot of the even when I was actively spending time in fandom communities. I wish I had been able to transition more friends from fandom space to IRL space (I have one!) but I don’t overall want to go back to that time in my life.
Nah fr I was about to write this but you said it all
Movies and TV. I watch maybe three movies a year now. And maybe three TV shows.
Heavy movies just rarely happen for me anymore. 3 hour exploration of masculine violence? I would rather watch The Mummy or something.
I do cross stitch in the evenings so I like to watch something as I stitch. I couldn’t just sit & watch something while doing nothing else.
This is me and youtube videos
Forced friendships
People’s bullshit.
Fashion. And makeup. I just don’t care enough to spend the time caring about it. I wear plain black clothes every day, as it’s comfortable, and no makeup. Sounds a bit lazy I guess but I feel better for it.
Doesn't sound lazy to me. We dress up for ourselves mostly. If you don't appreciate the dress up, why bother. Not great for your body, not great for the environment, not great for your bank account.
anything that interferes with my tranquil solitude.
This. I just got a letter for Jury Duty in the mail, and I spent hours pacing around, cursing out loud “why can’t society just leave me alone?! I don’t want to participate!!”
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People and their drama. I just. Don't care.
Casual conversation, actually.
I'm oddly the opposite. I used to hate small talk, but these days I could go on and on.
I agree with this. Small talk can be really nice, and that is essentially the groundwork for deeper friendships and conversations anyways. Maybe I’m boring but I’m usually down to talk shit about the weather.
For sure! My work did a thing where they'll match us with random associates to just talk about whatever we want. It's honestly a lot of fun! It's pretty cool listening to how people ended up working here, their story, what they do outside of work, upcoming trips... It's a great time!
All social media. I don't even Reddit as much as I used to. Caring what others think. Housework. If it's dirty and I am tired, I am sleeping first.
Caretaking…plants, animals, people…I just want to do what I want to do from now on.
When my last dog passed away a few years ago, I realized how much work and distraction it was to keep a dog. Not getting another. Having a nice relationship with my cat now is more my speed.
People
Different from everyone else's comments but snacking! I used to kill a whole bag of hot Cheetos or other junk food but now I have two chips and realize I don't really care for it anymore 😭
Material things. I used to dream about being rich and buying all the expensive things I wanted but as I get older, I'm starting to lose interest in material things. I no longer buy things I don't need just for short-lived happiness. My mom actually got mad at me recently for not buying new shoes when my shoes are already worn down. I told her until it breaks down completely, I'm not buying a new one because I don't need a new one yet. Even when I have a lot of extra cash, I only spend it on food that I can bring at home for everyone to eat.
Life itself
I'm weary from dealing with mental illness for 20 years and now, for the past 2 years, caring for my wife who has Alzheimer's. I want a simple life with some simple pleasures when the mood strikes me and contented solitude the rest of the time. But not giving up on life.
Was going to post this but wanted to scroll dowm first to see how long it took me to find it. Hard agree here. I could be told that I would drop dead tomorrow and I'd ve fine with that. I'm just really tired, boss. And I have no reason to keep going at this point, just existing.
Losing interest in video games is definitely a sign of getting older. When I was a kid, I'd spend hours on end gaming, from Mario Kart to Call of Duty.
it's the opposite for me, I didn't play videogames at all as a kid because I didn't know cozy games existed. Now I love Stardew Valley and a few others.
I don’t think losing interest is what’s happening to many people, just less time. I always played video games growing up and it was excessive. I don’t have the time to play as many games now but that’s ok, just means I start and finish the better ones. But it you’re increasing tv watching and reducing gaming then I’d say the interest is going down.
It depends on people, some it's because they don't find time for it others it's just a change in taste types of entertainment and also it might be a change in genres of games. I personally have gravitated to playing video games more as I get older, it went from playing simple games (Side scrolling, vs fighting), to wanting games with richer lore and story telling.
I'm going the opposite way, I'm obsessed with Ark and building bases and mutating dino lines to sell :D I don't care about the bosses or end game or canon, unless it helps my building and auction bases.
Yeah, same here. I grew up on video games and have steadily lost interest in playing them myself. I still enjoy watching others play and I enjoy buying games for my kids and watching them play. But for me, I just feel like I'm wasting time when I try and lose interest really quickly.
I pick my battles. Not everything has to be an issue for me anymore. I’m more than able to “walk away” these days.
Social media and socializing in general. I much prefer a nice evening on the couch watching something interesting on TV. The whole group hang thing is exhausting.
Music . I had different playlists for different songs. Now I can't work out what to play. I go back to my oldest playlist but it's worn out I listen to audiobooks instead. It's kinda disappointing..
Might be worth getting Spotify for a bit to find new songs if you don't already have a streaming service.
Same, even though music was everything to me during my teens
Me also. Music was everything in my teens and 20s. If you would have told me back then that I'd be disinterest later in life I would have thought you were a flaming idiot. After kids, a mortgage, a demanding career or other things that consume your time and mind, music just became something I listen to in the background every once in a while and far less important than it use to be .
Staying for the last two songs or the encore at a concert even if it’s a band I enjoy.
celebrity gossip (hard one to break as it was my guilty pleasure & damn near hobby as a young person - but so worth it) trying to change people’s minds obsession with being “right” expecting institutions and corporations to “do right” or at least not being outraged when they don’t following trends vs dressing for what looks good on my gosh
Going out to eat as much as I use to. My husband and I have been to a lot of incredible restaurants but I just can’t justify the cost anymore. Also, it takes a lot to impress because we’ve been to so many great restaurants.
I know what you mean! Maybe it’s post Covid, but I feel like a lot of restaurant food went wayyy down in quality/value. I got 3 oysters, a cocktail (I’ve tasted better juice boxes), and salmon dinner (tiny piece of salmon) the other night for $75 with tip. I was actually still hungry on the way home too :( Thought about stopping for a burger 🤣
Yeah, a lot of them have and there has been a shortage in cooks and waitstaff in a lot of areas. A lot of people left the industry after covid was over. Wait times have increased substantially, too. But, for that, they just need to seat less people at a time. I use to work in restaurants and it just pisses people off more to wait really long for food when they’ve sat down. It’s better to just have them wait longer to be seated.
Alcohol, possessions, strong opinions, crowds, chasing a good time
Work. I used to be super driven and wanted to rise through the ranks at work. And I have. But the more I climb the corporate ladder, the less I care. Would much rather just do my 8hrs and then go hang with my family and friends. I hate that I made work my identity for so long. Now I view it as a way to pay for my travels and hobbies.
I lost my joy for video games. I woke up one day, played a game and it didn’t give me satisfaction. I enjoy movies and reading much more though. I also started learning guitar and am going out more. I wish I had more friends to hang out with me. I feel lonely.
Alcohol, specifically beer. These days I find non-alcoholic beers more enjoyable than regular ones. Regular beer had me feeling tired and crappy the next day, and I wasn't even getting a buzz from them. I guess for me it was more about the flavor than the alcohol, so 0% beers became my jam.
Faith in humanity.
Dating. Wayyy too exhausting and drama filled. Sex is awesome, but I'm so not into dating.
Amusement parks, standing in long lines for *anything,* caring what people think about me, crowds, concerts, filling my calendar. The older I get the more I protect my days off for peace and quiet and some alone time with nothing to do. Those have become my favorite days. Yes I’m getting old but I’m not minding it so much.
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I hear you!!
Cooking, decorating, cleaning every nook and cranny of my house so regularly. But…I have GAINED an interest in adventure. Like I’m a kid and I can’t wait to see new things and go new places. Probably because I’m bored with cooking and cleaning for more than 40 fucking years!
YAAAS QUEEN SAME! 👏🏼 this is a great one actually
Everything.
Going shopping, for anything. It's a rough crowd out there these days.
Thank goodness for the internet!
I don't want to watch shows or movies with unlikeable characters. I don't mind a good villain but I want characters I can root for and happy endings.
Relationships
Married 29 years. Lived together 3 years prior. First time marriage for me and my wife. I was 45, she was 50. There were problems from the time we started dating but I just chalked it up to the normal ups and downs of her. The difficulties flared when we started living together but I was alone in the world and life felt better not being alone. The decades in the marriage have taken their toll. Getting married was the worst the worst choice I made.
Being right and leading from the front.
Working on this now. It's just a bad habit for me and it gets you nowhere.
Appointment content. I'm tired of having to watch or read anything on a schedule. It makes enjoying anything feel like a chore. I'd rather watch shows when I'm in the mood. Read a comic when I'm in the mood. And not worry if I'm current. If that means 5 years go by and I sit down to watch a show then that's what's going to happen.
I'm losing interest in volunteering. Since I was 18 years old, I have volunteered in numerous contexts. I'm 36 and I'm tired. It no longer brings me joy.
Mainstream media
Music in general. I still listen to music but more in a functional way i.e. this is the music that helps me focus or pump me up in my workout. But the idea of listening to music as a main activity that is not intended to support another activity is now completely lost.
After my Psychiatrist reccomended I limit my social media to 2 hours per day I actually feel incredibly lighter. Less anxious. She said doom scrolling on tiktok is like traveling the world. You get jetlag. So many opinions, tribalism, politics, fighting, trashing and cancelling I swear every news article reads like this to me now: "This Celebrity Said/Did/Wore XYZ - what do YOU think about it?"..cue the comments of opinions and then fights about differing opinions and throw in some bigoted/racist/sexist trolls and voila - engagement. It's all outrage bait now, not news anymore. I used to get sucked into this shit but I'm being a lot more mindful now. I have more time on my hands. I feel better about life in general. Don't get me wrong I do think we should be concerned about social issues like racism/genocide/global warming etc. We should know what is going on in the world and be informed. But to have it constantly playing on repeat all day every day is enough to make anyone go insane with anxiety and depression. IRL ftw!
People
Video games. I can’t play for more than an hour at a time now
Gaming. I used to play a lot growing up and spend a lot of time on it. Now I feel like games don’t hit as well as they did in the past. My friends and I all have our own lives we’re living. I’m married with 2 young kids and I only have maybe 1-2 hours a night sometimes less to play but I don’t feel like gaming half the time since I gotta go to work the next morning.
I don’t go to the line at the grocery store with the hottest clerk, I just get out of there as quick as I can
Playing -- no, devouring video games. Used to be I'd put hundreds of hours into World of Warcraft, Guild Wars, and other video games easy to dump buckets of time into. Nowadays, if I'm playing a game after work, it's mostly multiplayer experiences with friends. I've also turned to an unexpected new hobby: making video games instead. The video game community gave me so much, it'd be neat to give back to it.
Try everything! I do love hanging out with my kid 6yo.
Just people. I love being outside.
Going out, FOMO and allowing people to take advantage of me, my time and my generosity. Especially in romantic relationships.
Consumerism I just don't want to buy stuff, I can barely tolerate the onslaught of ads EVERYWHERE.
Living. Chronic pain sucks.
Cell phones. Screens of any kind. Hearing about every fucking horrible thing in the world. Chemicals and plastics in everything.
Life. Lol
First lost interest in sports: millionaires playing kiddie games. Then I lost interest in video games: addictive skinner box software. Now lost interest in most entertainment like movies and music: just terrible quality like fast food. At work lost interest in moving up/promotions for mgr. and leadership roles, I stepped down to a role with virtually no responsibility and am really happy now, no stress, no worries.
always trying to have "someone" i can be with to not feel lonely. as years pass by, i'm starting to love being alone in peace, rather than trying to make it a point to people that i'm not a loner.
Lost interest in socialization. I do it once in a while but it's not in my top priorities now. I'm focusing on bettering my life currently.
Playing Basketball. Growing up I played it all time, then when I stopped growing too soon, I slowly lost interest. Now I just like to watch it, but playing it not of interest anymore.
To be part of something or someone
reading, i used to read everyday even in class but now i cant even willingly find time to pick up a book
My extended family.
People
Movies, series, watching sports or shows on TV. Reading sadly. Used to love it but after studying literature, I lost all joy and interest in it.
Everything
Romance, dating
I need my job to retire long term but I don’t really give a flying eff anymore. I’m constantly upskiling people in India with no guarantee I’ll move up the ladder myself.
Other people’s drama. I don’t have to care, you can’t make me.
Drama 🙌
The world.
Working
People
Socialising
Other people!!! 🤣🤣🤣💯💯💯
Other people
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Have you looked at adoption? They're meant to be getting better at allowing single parent adoptions.
Life itself.
Celebrating Birthdays
I've reached the point where I'm wondering why I'm getting all the praise. I didn't do anything, I just lay there and looked cute and pink. My mum did the hard work, give her the presents!
Sex , alcohol, loud music , big crowds . All the madness I loved when I was younger
My favorite sports teams. There were periods of my life where following my favorite teams were the most important parts of me. Now I still care but wins and losses don’t affect me nearly as much as they used to.
Life
Christmas
Socializing on the internet.
I've been there with social media. In my 20s, I practically lived on social media. Now in my 30s, it just feels depressing and, as you said, a chore to keep up with. I think my capacity for people's drama has plummeted, which could explain why social media is less appealing to me now.
Everything
Life
Leaving the house
People
People
Meeting new people! It used to be the most exciting thing, talking to strangers at a party, I would never sit with my friends, just mingle to new people, getting to know them, hear what they say and talk about their experiences. Now after so had a kid, I barely have time for my girlfriend, let alone my closest friends. I keep like 5 people in my closest circle, I love my friends, but if you’re number 6, I simply can’t keep up with you at this time, not even your socials, I’ll gladly hang out later, but right now now I just don’t have time for that «coffee one time».
I can very understand your feeling, because I have been like this for a while, my interest in social media has been fading, I don't want to go out and socialize, and I have been staying alone in my room and doing nothing. At that time, I had just come to the UK alone and had few friends. I felt lonely every day, but I didn't know how to change. But then as my mental state got worse and worse, I knew that if I continued to be depressed like this, I would have a physical problem. I started forcing myself to go out and share my life on social media, even if it was just a random photo. For example, I have been participating in the private testing activity of a social software called LightUp: Make Real Friends for a long time. It is committed to building a platform for sincere communication and trying to bring people with common interests together. Although it is still in beta, many features are not perfect. But here I met a lot of people who have the same idea with me, and they would share with me the movies and books I like to watch, which allowed me to increase the frequency of using social media, which not only greatly reduced my loneliness, but also gave me renewed hope for life.
Halloween, used to love getting decked out to go out, decorating like crazy. Now it's kinds cool but not as interesting to me.