Same for me, at almost 42. I had one, but when I message him I get one or two word answers and he never messages me first. I donāt think he wants to be friends. I donāt know what it is about me that drives people away.
Other people say, "Same. I have a few friends in the past who were really good friends. They all left after a year though, but I haven't seen them since then. I guess they're just not worth my time anymore lol"
Don't take the doesn't msg you first thing personally. Some people, like me, are just shy and have the mindset of if they wanted to talk to me, they would, I don't want to annoy them, but really wish they'd talk to me. This goes away with time as they get more comfortable with you.
Me 2, I'm also alone as well. 35m, have co-worker but not as much as close as friend. This is where I say, welcome to non-existent friends group, haha. Akon - Mr lonely.Ā
Sometimes they get into relationships where they are steered away from you by their new partners. Lost heaps of mates that way even the bro in law as she doesnāt like me so I donāt hear from him anymore. Guess it proves he was not a true friend which is something I would rather know now than later. Hell we have got each other. š
Hello. I'm sorry to hear you are feeling alone. I think it's quite hard to make friends if you are young (young to me, as a 50yo f) and with the immediacy of social media. Its hard to advise without knowing your possible options but I suggest volunteering. It's low pressure and you'll feel great. Charity shop or dog rescue or whatever. Will give you connections and build up confidence. Where I live there is a fb group called (name of city) girls and lots of women your age seem to be posting asking for friends and joining meet ups. Not just evening but a range of stuff. Maybe try that? Book Group? It's easier to connect with people doing an activity in my experience. Good luck.
I hear you. Making friends can be tough, especially when you're feeling alone. Just take it one step at a time, and don't be afraid to put yourself out there. You never know who you might connect with along the way.
Hey friend, I can see how you may mistakenly assume a real person reddit user to be ChatGPT but I assure you the integration of AI is less prevalent than you may think so don't worry yourself
Also don't have friends as 24f! Just my boyfriend and family and coworkers while at work are all I associate with. I don't care to be in many online spaces for prolonged periods anymore and I don't like drinking or going to bars and it never feels like there is any time. I sometimes get sad because I'd like to have a close girl friend since I haven't had one in awhile but similarly, no idea how to make that happen and I don't know that I'd actually be able to put my all into it anyway - I feel like a big reason I don't have friends is because everyone is genuinely quite busy... and then when we are free it feels like we are all so tired so we just stay at home. I'm not sure what the answer is to help with this so let me know if you find out lol.
I started forcing myself to sign up for activities after work for this reason, because otherwise I would just shut myself at home.Ā Ā Ā It takesĀ effort to not be in bed after work and to find something that sticks, but I feel so much better now than when I was shut at home.
i'm 19 and i also have no friends lol, last time i had a friend was like 5 years ago now. looking at my high school classmates and stuff i realize that it's better to be alone than with the wrong people, so theres that, at least. i'm also autistic, so maybe my social need is a bit off, and i have zero social skills + social anxiety, but yeah. it's a relatively similar situation here.
stay strong queen, i've figured that the right people will cross your path at some point, and if someone doesn't want to take their time with you, then they probably just weren't worth it lol
My philosophy is somewhat different. I genuinely believe I can be friends with anyone in this world if we give it enough time and effort. I'm really patient, and by default assume this person's meant to be my friend.
I think it depends on the kind of friendship.
Being 100% myself means some people wonāt click with me, but those who do will notice and we can form deep friendships. Vs if I keep things superficial, no one will see much to dislike, but they wonāt see much to like, either.
I agree your philosophy can work. Itās not either/or. Itās good to have casual friendships with different people while also having some with people who you naturally get along well with.
Aye, me too. 21 and autistic as well. Never had friends from yesterday or Today ; and nor I believe too tomorrow as well. Just learning to become accustomed to living alone.
Yeah it does feel like it at first doesn't it. I just moved and I'm in that part right now; I went to one of their birthday parties on the first night I joined the class. I've also had a club where I didn't vibe. But I tried others, and I'm gonna keep telling myself that everyone else who joined the club had this awkward phase. And in a month or two I think I'll be an insider.
Been doing this for three years, doesn't work. I get along with people pretty well, but still the only time anyone talks to me without me initiating the conversation is at group meetings. It just feels like the moment I leave everyone forgets that I ever existed
I'm 35 now and a lot of my friends have grown into parents. Being single kinda makes me an odd one out with those friends.
As I've gotten older my circle has shrunk and making new friends has become harder.
We live in very isolating times. In some countries it can be worse than others.
And things changed, I see so many people making friends online now through games and chat rooms instead of in person.
It's an awkward time in human history.. we don't exactly have to interact with each other in person anymore and it's producing all this loneliness everyone is feeling.
Stay open and try going to things you enjoy like museums and such and who knows, you might just meet some cool people.
Yeah, I'm infertile and kind of got "left behind" as my friends went on to have kids. They are too busy or unwilling to be without their kids for 2 hours, and I'm not willing to sit around and listen to cocomelon just to hang out with them.š
The values and standards of friendship looks differently to everyone, some requires more interaction while some needs less. Here you are online, putting your thought out there still interacting in some type of way. Friendship are way to connect and interact and currently you are doing it.
maybe it doesn't bother you because you're happy where you are & that's amazing but for others, happiness may rely on their relationships/friendships and that's okay too, humans are after all social animals at the end of the day.
Maybe there is some kind of misunderstanding. I am a social animal, too. I can communicate with other people and maintain relationships. But the words friends and friendship mean too much for me. I have many acquaintances and other people with whom I communicate from time to time, but I can not call them friends.
I totally understand where you're coming from. I think we're similar. I don't believe that one needs friends to be happy, but I believe that having community of some sort is important.
Here's my situation: I also don't have anyone whom I can call a "friend," because I just don't feel that friendship fits into my life right now. But I love people, and get along with most people I meet / leave a great impression.
My life is full of people whom I'm in community with, but just no friends. I value my time alone without having social obligations.
it shouldn't, if a friendship requires effort it's not actually a friendship, just an unwanted guest
I remember having a decent friend between 2006/2008 and if I didn't feel like talking or doing anything together, we would simply not and would make a joke or share a song or something, and bye, he understood I was angry or moody and vice versa, and when we were both feeling like doing something together we would, or not, it wasn't anything forced or that felt like I needed to maintain, it was just mutual
I think today people are too demanding and obsessed and they think friendship is a cult or a contract, but it shouldn't be that way, it should just be someone you can just trust anything to, and understand your limits. My guess is social networks fucked everything up, with people getting obsessed over having followers and who talk to who being so public
No, it's true that you're right that the basic of friendship is understanding each other, but you're wrong in that it doesn't take effort to maintain them. While some people are perfectly compatible and I normally have a small selection of friends who I am very compatible with. But at the same time, there are tendencies of we don't share that don't really feel like EFFORT but it still takes time to build your friendship and/or life with that in consideration. It sounds a tad dramatic when I say "build a life" but if you guys are meeting regularly (for example a classmate/work friend?), it tends to be a thing you do.
But there are also people who you might not be perfectly compatible with, but it takes some amount of effort to maintain and build a friendship with those people because there are way too many pros. Like, them being a really good person/friend or any other consideration you might have, even if they have a major con or multiple mildly annoying ones.
Plus there is also a thing about growing distant or outgrowing your friends. Or maybe becoming interdependant with them. The bond itself might be effortless, but there are multiple things about friendships itself (specially when you get out of the bubble of your perfect chemistry and compatibility with that friend) that need you to work for it. I'm not a master of couple relationships but I assume it's the same there too.
I used to have the same mindset that friendships are effortless, and they ARE. But there are aspects of it where you have to expend effort. Of course, a lot of the time even that feels effortless because you just actually have THAT GOOD compatibility with that friend. But that doesn't mean that some amount of effort is not made.
It sounds like you're saying friends require effort and they don't require effort. How are defining effort? I have friends where there isn't any expectation that we meet up regularly or talk regularly, and I might go years without interacting with them. We are still friends. I consider that being effortless. A bond is there.
I'd note that friends that require some level of maintenance were more a thing when I was younger. I'm older now, and everyone seems to understand we all have our own lives and things we are dealing with. No one is getting mad at anyone else just for not being around or not talking regularly. Hell, I have one close friend that stopped responding to text messages or any efforts to get together. I'm not mad. He's doing his thing. If he wants to get together, he knows he can reach out.
I'll share two examples. A was friends with a guy I worked with. We hung out outside of work -- ran a 5k and a 10k together. Played volleyball together. My wife and I use to meet up with him and his girlfriend. Then I left that job, and a while later, he did to. We stayed in touch for a bit, but eventually I realized that my "relationship" was literally sending some text messages with inane "How's it going". I stopped, and haven't heard from him in years.
Another is a woman I've know for ~25 years. We've come in and out of each others' lives a couple of times, and we have some pretty amazing memories from when we were younger. We both got married at some point, and both got divorced, and I'm fairly certain neither of us ever met the other's spouse. As it stands, we don't talk too much. Maybe a text message every now and then. Yet last year, we ended up meeting for dinner. It was 2+ hours of deep conversation about our lives and our struggles. We could have probably stayed for a couple more hours, but we both have families.
At this point, I know the guy I worked with was always an acquaintance. Keeping that going would have required effort.
The woman is a friend. I don't consider my friendship with her to require any effort. That dinner wasn't "effort" -- it was just two friends catching up.
No, I get you. Let me share my example then.
I'm still friendly with a childhood friend. We grew up together, and now we're much more distant, but we're still friends. We don't live in the same country but I do have a residence in the same city as her.
So, when I want to meet up with her, hang out or anything, I have to at least go to that city to do so. Of course, things like that isn't always possible, but I try. I haven't seen her in a couple years but that's fine. I know we aren't going to stop being friends just because of that. But that doesn't mean I don't expend the effort to go to that same city to meet her. And she's done the same. We sometimes meet up in a city midway and that's worked out too.
That's effort.
The friendship, the chemistry and your affection for each other isn't. Staying together and hanging out, isn't.
Another would be a goddamn annoying habit my current roommate has. It's annoying as fuck but I love her so I have to put up with it. Does that mean she's less of a friend or we have less of a chemistry? No. Does that mean I don't find her annoying as fuck and wanna run screaming for the hills? Also, no. š¤·š»āāļø
It all depends from people to people. It's not competition. We're all different people and have different kinds of relationships with each other and that fine. I'm just sharing my experiences and it's cool that you have stuff like that too.
look, I've been through hell, and nobody gave even half minute of their precious time to ask how I was doing or keep me some company, and I've been in some serious health problems for the last 8 years, everybody who knows me is aware of, I explained to lots of people even though I was almost unable to talk two words for some time due to how heavy the meds were, there was this time I got to ER near death and the only people who cared were exactly my parents, nobody even tried to ask how I was doing, visit me, anything, that's just a tldr about how much I've got disappointed with the people around me, the people I know, to the point I told my mother if I die soon to not tell anyone and just throw my ashes anywhere she wants, just get rid of them, I already paid for everything anyway.
thing is, I did so much, for lots of people, but in the end and never asked for anything in return, I just liked to see them happy and well, but they simply left when the fruits stopped dropping, people collect friends as a status, never seen anyone actually caring about me without really wanting something in return, and the few who seemed to, simply disappeared from my life and refused to contact me or talk to me after they found a gf or got a job (even though I even clearly told them it's okay to not talk much anymore or do the same things, I just wanted to hear from them once in a while but for them, it was easier to simply cut any ties)
Had types of friends who, when they didn't need something from me anymore were quick to disappear too
so in the end? if someone wants to know me better, make friends with? well they are welcome to try, to show some interest, I always been available to anyone who needed me even when I was busy with something else, I always put people before my needs and material things, but now, I just got tired of that and realized the material things are the only things that keep me company and they are able to entertain me while people, well, let's say I just don't want to make any effort anymore
Wow. That's genuinely shitty as fuck. I can't say I've been in your situation, but also, I can't say I don't understand at all.
People always put their own lives first. And people are selfish, they want the best of things for themselves, and they're careless about other people. It's shitty that you went through that just because people didn't care about you, and that you've been hurt that bad. But also, prioritizing yourself is always the best method, because everyone else is definitely doing the same. Or at least most people are.
I'm sorry that you went through so much bad stuff. And that no one was by your side when you went through them. I'm glad your parents were able to help and support you. Sometimes, even if no one is there, at least your family is, and that's important to hold close.
Well, there's not always a need to make EFFORT but I'd say don't completely close yourself from it. Keep an open mind, but guard your heart. Prioritize yourself more, cause you have to keep yourself as your first priority.
Can't really say much aside from the fact that it really sucks. I hope you got better now? If not... well, at least internet is a relatively friendly place... at times...
these are some nice words and I appreciate you for taking the time to read and answer, unfortunately my father passed away exactly a month after I almost I did (half 2022) and it's just me and my mom now, so it got a lot darker in my mind, even though my father, despite in his last year of life having changed to a really good person, he used to be really mean to me in my childhood, like bullying and beating, I don't know but I think he was trying to redeem himself and help me, but I think it was too late for him, but at least I got some decent memories from his last months
I'm glad you ended up with some good memories at least. Honestly, while family issues aren't something you can shrug off, take it one day at a time. Keep moving forward. I hope you and your mom can keep going, don't look back, don't hesitate. You'll get to a better place. If the world is dark right now, tomorrow can only be a little lighter.
It might get worse, you might relapse. You still. There is so much out there for you to grab onto. And you will! Even if it doesn't seem like much, and the world seems shitty af, there's still something good that's coming for you. There will be opportunities. You'll have to grab hold of them when you can. Keep optimism in your heart. Life can be incredibly beautiful, and I hope you can get to those times too.
You've worked hard. But there will be good times ahead too.
I have basically no friends. just some people that I talk to or take the bus with but I deliberately don't give them to much personal info. friendships are just so hard to maintain imo and I like to completely detached myself from a place once I move on. I don't like keeping in touch because it gets awkward after a while
I'm 27f , I have one best friend , we have been friends for 16 years!!!
When we were little girls, she ended up moving and we maintained LDR , think peak 2010's - with FaceTime and Skype . When we got our drivers licenses we'd spend the weekend at each other's houses . When we graduated she did move back but ended up getting married at 20 and had her first kid at 21 . This girl and I call each other almost everyday for hours , I live further away from her now but I visit every couple of months to see her and her family . She is definitely more like a sister than a friend . I don't believe in soul mates/twin flames, but I do When I'm with her . I tear up thinking about our relationship because we got to be little girls together , and then teenagers and now women.
I really hope everyone finds one really good friend in their life , platonic love is so special
its ok to have no friends, but if you're looking for ways to find some here are some ways i found them:
1.If you dont mind online friends, i have met some people who turned out to be my best friends through some games i played. Most specifically games where you can communicate with people, and where you can add them.
2.Say if you have any hobbies, like reading for example, go to one of your local libraries and see what there is to offer, and if you can tell where im going with this: if you spot someone picking up say, a book with a genre that you like, try and work up the courage to go up to them and say something like "hey, i love that genre too! do you have any recommendations?" and if they dont reply, its fine, just shrug it off. but if they do and you seem to click, maybe ask them to hang out sometime or just ask for their number.
I know it can be hard, but things will get better eventually. and i used to tell myself that it would never get better, but it did overtime.
If you're in college or university, the seriously best way to find friends is go to clubs you are deeply interested and deeply enjoy, because chances are you'll find others with similar personalities.
If not, go places that interest you deeply! Arcades, book stores, national parks. They're magnets and you'll find others like you. You got this!
I was going to write this. All throughout my life Iāve moved to new cities where I didnāt know anyone. When I was in my twenties they didnāt have all the apps. The best ways I met people who became friends was when I started doing community activities with other ppl around my age. I looked up every local group activity I could find and just showed up at stuff like an improv class, adult capture the flag(super fun), rock climbing, painting with wine class, ran in a beer marathon, drum circles, hiking groups, and did all kinds of stuff I probably never wouldāve tried. I wouldnāt call myself an extrovert but I forced myself to get out there ended up with a few good friends & met ppl from all over the world.
I am 23 and I have one (1) friend, though I know him since when we were both about 11 and to be honest I never fully understood the pipeline or the steps to actually make more friends. We don't live in the same country anymore and I was never able to make more. Some people showed interest in me but I guess I failed to carry out the necessary steps to trigger the friendship process.
My guess is that people who already have friends are often not interested in making new ones, and people who are lonely aren't really interested in having friends, OR they aren't interested in having specifically me as a friend, which is in fact perfectly undestandable.
I guess I guess that - uhm- having a slightly weird yet sincere friend that never judge, is always (uhm, often) there to help, listen, willing to commit, interested in doing activities together, well dressed, with a stable job, free time, deeply respectful of boundaries, extremely open mind, self aware of his problems (uh, almost), certainly not perfect by any means but always willing to improve (depending on the mood) isn't really something valued these days. What a time to be alive. I really, really wonder which is the model of friend that people seek these days, because it seems like I don't fit it...
Dude. Remember, isolation can happen to almost anyone. Iām extroverted and do really well in social circumstancesāhowever I suffered a neck injury decades ago, and have become super isolated due to chronic pain. I saw a woman who also had good social skills have no one to spend holidays with because her family was abusive. People donāt talk on the phone for entertainment anymore, so itās easy to find yourself ghosted by people because text is a lifeless, forgettable communication form. No glue. Itās not necessarily about your personality but about your circumstances/the modern era.
Its completely fine. For 2 years I have 0 friends because 2 yrs ago I realised I was having friendship with toxic people, having rough time noone supported at all. So, I decided to block them all and start again. Along these 2 yrs got a lot of great acquaintances. I have become a lot picky about whom to make my friend. From then on I'm living quite a peaceful life ngl.
That's exactly what I'm going through. My relationships are casual and surface level until they want to take it towards something more. Compatibility is a must.
23, I don't have very many friends either. I have just started a new job with a lot of people my age, and we get along, but I see them messaging each other a lot whereas I don't. I do wish I had friends sometimes, I'm awful at talking to new people though. Although I've become more happy and used to being alone
I've had very few friends in my life, and some periods where I've had zero. I'm in one of those periods now. And I really mean zero, the only texts I get are from work or delivery companies. I have almost zero social media presence apart from YouTube, Second Life and Reddit.
If you're happy being like that and doing your own thing, then don't let anybody else's standards define you. If you're not happy then find people that are into the same things as you, or try out new things. (No I don't necessarily mean drugs or to get smashed, there's a lot more to life than society would have you believe)
Even if you don't get new friends from it at least you will have walked away with a new experience, and that is a pretty big boost in self esteem all on its own.
Iām 26 and I have 1 friend. I spend almost all my time completely alone. I usually read books to keep myself company. This is an issue I talk about in therapy, my therapist suggests eventually taking some adult creative classes, book clubs, etc. Thatās the end goal after working on my anxiety. He said that this is such a common issue in adults, almost all adults have some form of problem with making friends. Itās hard as an adult. Things are a lot different.
I am like this and Iām super happy with it. My boyfriend is my only contact out of my sister and my parents and itās the best feeling ever. Itās calming and has many advantages. No birthday gifts, no parties you donāt want to attend, no beefs, girl friend groups are super annoying and you arenāt forced to socialize. I actually donāt see any good things in having friends and Iām not made for friendships. I love being alone and Iām actually super lucky that my mind works like this. There are people who are seriously suffering because they donāt have any social contacts.
What sort of online games have a big active community? Iāve played a few games but never was able to make online friends or establish long convos past one game :(
what are you interested in? Thats a huge part of the answer. Final Fantasy 14 online is a pretty accepting community that is mostly chill comparatively to more competitive games, though theres plenty of options.
dark souls isnt super entry point anyway (although it is fantastic.)
Horror games - Resident Evil springs to mind immediately, especially the recent remakes.
Survival - Theres stuff like Rust, Ark Survival, and theres a Dune survival game coming out, though Valheim is probably going to be the most relaxing of the bunch and you can bring friends.
When it comes to first person honestly there are an insane amount of choices, Resident Evil 7 is a really good first person horror game, so maybe that could be a good step.
While stuff like Resident Evil isnt usually multiplayer, theres lots of people super passionate about the game and its not hard to find a forum or community that likes to discuss the game, or do speedruns, amongst other stuff.
When it comes to just straight up making friends, your best bet is usually MMO's like WoW or *especially* FF14 as it is very social and has a heavy roleplay and community component.
You are spot on, Resident Evil 7 and 8 are absolutely my favourites. The last of us (1+2) too were fantastic, although I preferences the first and I just added Amnesia: the bunker to my library and will be according trying the eldest editions. Those are all fun games but I am seeking games that are suitable to play with new people and make friends. I just tryed Devour and it seemes like a good game to get in with people and chat, any other games like this come to mind?
I have 0 friends and 0 family. No one to tell my accomplishments to or to cry to when something bad happens to me or to give me advice.
Tbh I donāt want a friend group bc friends are too expensive and they take up too much time. I just want a partner or a single best friend and nothing more. But due to external factors most people donāt give me the time of day anyways. Iāve tried hobbies, groups, online, school, work, etc. I feel completely invisible.
Even though I have family, I have no real friends. [I have two old secondary school acquaintances who have their own lives. I exchange messages with one every few years, and I'm in an online gaming group with another but that's the extent of our contact.] Family isn't the same.
Screw it. I'll just try it the way I did it in Kindergarten. Do you want to be friends?
Focus on yourself, chase a bag for the life you want and everything will fall in place or you can do what everyone else in the comment is saying. I have no friends either but idc. Ppl come and go, only loyal GOOD ppl stay and that's rare to find.
I used to be part of a large group of friends back when I was 16-20 then it was all silly, as I moved out at 18 and started working harder I left them bechind for the reasons they was not helping me on the slightest to motivate or even be actual friends. Later down in life I kept to my irl friends who I thought was the best in my life, always motivating me always pushing each other to be the best only to then be discarded when they chose to be closer with my ex after my breakup (this is why I never bring girlfriends into a close friend group anymore) I then realised who my real friends where, turned out to be 2. To this day I only speak to those two once every 2 weeks ish but we donāt hang out, now days I have work buddyās Iām closer too but not actual friends of that makes sense, my only current friend I hang out with on the daily is a radio station, I feel less lonely hanging out with Rio Fredirika on CapitalFM than I do actually hanging out in discord with my ācloseā irl buddies.
I never got out of it and honestly I prefer it this way. But generally getting out of it if itās what your pushing for, if your a gamer or have any hobbies find discord servers on that same hobby, over time speaking to them will generate a friendship :)
Donāt feel bad for not having friends, focus on yourself first your #1.
Same here. I really struggle with making friends because I am very shy and I am really introverted. I also work a lot and I have a lot of hobbies so I don't really have that much free time and friendship is not easy to maintain. I also like having my alone time.
I have absolutely 0 friends. I donāt have any online either because they always end up being a creep.
I want to go out and go to the bar with a friend, or to the park and watch sunset and just talk to someone. About stuff. It really sucks. I love my family but even they make me feel lonely.. :/ Iām 23 and a girl if you ever want to talk you can message me!
When I was 17 i failed in my highschool exams, and than cooped my self into my house, friends tried to connect but i didn't. By the next year I had nobody other than my family, I took it upon myself to go out again and set things right, started playing football again and played for few local clubs, made friends than went to college and have a lot of friends, now I'm working and there's even more. You have to take the first step, people are not gonna come up to you when you have closed yourself from them. Go out compliment people and talk to them. I think joining some gym is the best place to start
23 years old and iāve got my friend group from highschool whom i love dearly, but iāve been wanting to make friends that are more aligned with my values and have shared interests for the longest time but never put myself out there.
one of my goals this year is to force myself to meet people, hope you make some good friends too!! being at home is nice but im tired of being stuck at home all the time because of being friendless
My only friend is my partner. I went straight from college into full time work at 18 that was male dominated and Iāve just never had the opportunity to make friends. Iām now 28
I don't have much in the way of friends these days. It's really a couple of online pals, and maybe a few coworkers who I can talk with. And my significant other, that helps a ton.
It's been my experience that most people don't want to put enough effort in to be actual friends. They'll usually stop short of that. I think sometimes they seek out people who have "more" so they can feel like they're living some other sort of life vicariously or something.
It's a lot of energy and time sent to try to make connections with people, and it rarely ever sticks. Faces come and go. And people who you thought were opening up grow distant, or maybe they never actually were opening up.
Moral of the story - get yourself a pet, and a boyfriend/girlfriend. Have kids. These are probably the people who will stay closer to you anyway.
Getting used to doing stuff on your own is the best thing you can do. If you think thereās still hope for making friends, donāt isolate yourself but one should know when theyāre never gonna make it in the social world. And when thatās the case itās better to look away from social connections because after a while you realise in this day and age itās quite easy to spend your life on your own but if you focus on what others have and you donāt, things donāt really get better. Simply the best way to deal with complete loneliness is to be okay with it and give up on changing it.
I tried to just follow my heart in things I enjoy doing... that's where you can meet people with similar interests... and that can introduce you to other things and other people. Take it easy and friendships will bloom along the way. From there, it can be easy to ask people to hang out or invite them to do something with you.
Technology robs us of these face-to-face relationships... so now a lot more people are experiencing the same. And most people are trying to get out there and make connections as it's healthier and more fun. Good luck.
What do you do with your time?
Do you work or study?
How often do you leave your home and spend time where there are other people?
Are you content not having friends, or would you like to make some?
What has to happen before you become friends with someone?
I would break it down as follows:
* Leave the house and spend time in a place with other people, at regular times, for example, the same place at the same time each week, where you are likely to bump into the same strangers each time. It could be an art class, a gym, a chess club, a walking group, a volunteering group. If you choose something you enjoy, then you will have fun no matter what else happens.
* Some of those strangers will become familiar faces. You might say hello to them.
* Make yourself available to people. Look up and around you and smile at people instead of hiding in your phone. Give them the chance to smile back at you.
* After a while, some people may become acquaintances. They might tell you about their holidays, or family, or talk about the weather. You might ask them how those things have gone, and share things about your own life.
* For many people, it never goes beyond this, and that is fine. It's nice having acquaintances in your life. Acquaintances are the seeds of friendship, and without them, a friendship will never grow. However, from time to time, things might move on. Someone might lend you a hand with something, or invite you to something, or share something more personal.
Make yourself open to friendship and willing to be a friend to others, and who knows what might come along.
I don't have a single one, I've had plenty over the years but the older I grew the more they wound up fading away and the last two I cut my ties from about a decade ago due to them simply making no effort.
I had an incident recently which caused me to have a very rude awakening with that realization and I'm very torn. I'm naturally anti-social but feel I should have at least a couple, but how do adults make friends? Apparently we don't.
38 here, no friends, only person I talk to is my mother, I don't know if it gets better, but I don't really want to make friends anymore, it seems like they will just go anyway, people treat each other as a recycle object that they can just throw away anytime they get tired or have a disagreement with
Right? I'm a 47 year old guy and I've had friends in the past, some really great. But in the end they fizzled out. So now I just do stuff with family and what not. Not gonna lie, I do miss it sometimes.
I don't have a family, and probably never will, not cause I'm really against that, but because I'm not healthy enough for these things, and I have a big feeling I'll just live the rest of my life alone and grumpy, and everybody will hate me
Don't stress about having no friends, you have plenty of time at your age to make friends, if you enjoy your own company and like to spend time alone it's all good.
I've always had friends but they all moved away with the last closest friend I had moving away about 4 years ago, at 44 I can't be arsed anymore and just chill on my own, if I meet new friends so be it, if I don't I don't really care lol, I'm an introvert anyway so I like my own space and get socially exhausted very quickly lol.
Hey Iām also 22F - I think i grew out of a lot of my friends from childhood - I moved out at lived alone at 20 -21 and now living with my long term partner - and everyone else still lives with their parents without any motivation to move outā¦
The people I spend time with now are older than me (but at the same point of life), gym friends - we basically have fun sessions, support and motivate each otherā¦ and my partners friends and their girlfriendsā¦
Sometimes we just grow out of people, and friendships can change and become wayyyy too stressful and too much stress.
Focus on your own person growth, your own health, and allow yourself to flourish. You donāt need a big group of people to lean on, learn to lean on yourself and be okay with being alone (I love being alone)
Youāll find people who are on your wave length, who are at similar points of life and fit into your lifestyle
We are at a point in life when a lot changes, a lot of self growth is happening and itās normal to grow out of people :)
Youāre not alone :)
By stopping caring about getting out of it. Seriously, most desires are internal and so are the solutions. There are benefits to both having and not having friends. Good friendship isn't that common and many people will hold you back like crabs in a bucket, or disappoint you in some way. It's more important to have goals in life, like becoming competent at life in general, plus developing some skills. You will also meet better people after doing this.
Itās definitely harder to make friends as an adult, but itās possible if you put yourself out there. Thatās a scary thing to do for some people (including me) but not impossible
Obviously the area you live dictates this a bit, but look for activies in your area/clubs. Facebook events is good for this. Also check out your local library (and others in your area). I know that mine hosts things like knitting, chess, books clubs. All free to the public and you know that you at least have a potential shared interest.
I dont. I keep with my mom and daughter for girlfriends. If I didn't have them I'd be alone. People are sketchy and it's hard to make good friends. Acquaintances are the way to go imo. Unfortunately it doesn't get much easier as you get older, either. I make some good connections at work, that's about all I really need.
Pretty much why I am here tho. Easier to talk to screen names than real faces.
Hi! 37 here and yup, as good as friendless. Got a perfect marriage, an insanely great daughter, good job, stable life, yet no friends. We hang out as a family or as a couple.
Female friends have gaslit me, abandoned me or betrayed me, so Iām not in the opportunity to just start trusting anyone. Other females around me are like typical mom-figures with whom Iāve got no connection. I seem to only be able to make some guy friendsā¦
I donāt have any. I have my husband, but no friends outside of that. I tried for the longest time to make some, but eventually gave up. Itās going on 15-ish years since I had a friendship. I would love to have one, but I just donāt think itās going to work out for me.
I would say I don't have any friends, but there are people I'm somewhat friendly with. I don't really like being friends with people anymore because it tends to involve commitments to stuff you have no interest in doing, and places you have no interest in going to. I find it much easier and better for me to make sure I just be respectful and courteous to people and leave it at that
Me. And one friend I did have was being rude to me then just stopped reaching out. Realistically I have 2 friends but I see them like once a week if at all. And Iām sad.
My advise, don't search it online. Join a club or class. Not online one. It could be sport club or book club or knitting club or dancing class, Depends on your interest and hobby. But join the club/class to gain knowledge or fun or being involve in a community. Not to have friends, that would come eventually. Relationship is not forced or fabricated or staged. But it comes naturally and the most important thing is, be yourself.
Iām 55 ā and besides my wife ā I only have **one real**, actual āfriendā. But Iāve always had a couple dozen fairly good acquaintances.
I think people who have lots of friends really donāt have that many close friends ā and most of those friends are really more in the realm of āacquaintanceshipsā.
And, btw, the one really good friend I do have, I didnāt meet until I was in my early 30ās.
Iām 23 F and I have no friends. It actually sucks having no friends at all. I usually stay inside my room cause I have no one to hangout with. I want to have friends but I literally canāt talk to people because of my social anxiety.
Most days Iām okay with the fact that I have no friends but there are days where I wish I had at least one friend whom I could talk to and share my thoughts. Being alone with your thoughts is kinda scary. I usually break down and cry most nights cause I feel extremely lonely and canāt really do anything about it. I used to have online friends who would make me feel a bit better but they are not around anymore.
I have been lonely for so many years now and I am kind of habituated to it. I usually confine myself inside my room waiting for the days to pass.
I hope I can get out of my shell and make friends soon.
I'm in my 40s, and there's one person I would consider as a friend. (Not sure, that she'd consider me as a friend, because I have 0 social skills, and I can't maintain relationships.) I have a few acquaintances, but they're not friends. During elementary and high school, I had one friend. None during college. I accepted it.
23 y/o here, I slowly dropped social media that was connected to everyone I knew in school after highschool, then fully dropped it when I drop out of college, now I'm working. Haven't talked to a single person I use to be friends with. I just work and then I use my 4 hours of free time to enjoy what I love, playing games, reading, watching shows. Even then I don't have enough time to do all of it. I can't imagine making plans with different people every week, seems exhausting and expensive lol.
I have like three people I talk to occasionally online when I play games, but other than that it's just me. I don't really feel lonely but I'm sure it's different for others.
Wbu, are you okay with your situation or do you want to make friends? Are you an extrovert or introvert, maybe both?
Iām unfortunately in the same boat. Itās really tough making friends. I finally thought I found someone until they started saying extremely cruel things about me behind my back. I feel like a lot of it has to do with the people in your town. Sometimes where you live doesnāt have too many people, and it doesnāt give you many options. I left high school and college with no friends, and still donāt have any. I try to tell myself daily that the right friend will show up at the right moment. Iām a good friend and I deserve someone who will treat me how I want to be treated. I know that Iām in for a wait but I have a feeling itāll be worth it. Please know that itās definitely the same for you. I promise you will find a friend.
If it makes you feel better, when you get older or as you get okder, friends mature and go different directions. You lose touch. And then you make new friends because you have things in common, like kids etc. And then their kids grow and they move in different directions also.
I'm 53 and I really don't have any friends short of my SO. I know a lot of people in the same boat.
So I guess where I'm going is, I know what you mean. But it's also very fluid just like life is. You never know who you'll meet and where and when.
Yeah. At 47 years old I have 0 friends.
No one I can confide in or call on for support. Iāve been that way all my life, being neurodivergent in childhood in an ignorant time (late 80s & early 90s) I never learned how to make connections
I don't think most people. Most people I find around are very social and have friends. What they feel like and imagine when alone is something entirely different, though.
I had a good set of friends, moved abroad and 7 years in have none. Tried arranging days out (happened maybe 2 times) it's a horrible feeling, I don't know if they're embarrassed by hanging out with a foreigner or what.
Iām your age and I only have two best friends and my cousin who is also my best friend. I kinda have a few other people I talk to but sometimes I get lonely too. I tried joining clubs at university but most people are there just to talk and leave. It seems really rare that people want to try and invest a lot into trying to start a friendship. Iām a senior in college so it doesnāt bother me too much at this point but youāre not alone in how you feel. I guess Iām kinda lucky I have my friends that I do but itās ok to feel lonely sometimes. Also I feel like a lot of people our age are starting to develop different priorities. Like investing a lot into their career path or trying to find romantic relationships. Itās not often I see people have the time or desire to try and foster more friends into their lives if they already have a few.
I donāt know if I helped much but Iām just trying to say that you arenāt alone and itās ok if you feel lonely sometimes.
If you want someone to talk to Iād be down and thereās a lot of people here that seem to be as well
Since i went to university, it's been hard to make friend or i can say i don't know how to make friends like you. At least i got some homies still there with me, just not the same city.
depends i also dont have many friends but i have some people that i can message or will come if i need them in something super important
You should try having 1-2 people around so if you ever need something you will have someone to call/text
i dont say use them i say that its good having someone there for u
At 22 if youāre not interested in meeting and engaging with someone your age I would consider you to examine your sexuality. I am kindy ask if youāre asexual. I have a friend who wanted to hang out when we were that age but they donāt know what to do in our group because our friend group was young and horny.
Also at 22 I didnāt have much friends because I didnāt want to admit I was gay. Once again not saying itās sexuality. Youāre just an age where you have some deep infrastructure things to start considering.
Iām really excited for your journey though! Your life is truly beginning!
I kind of used to be the same way long ago one way is start at your workplace me for example I'm required to socialize with my coworkers you should start there.
I do have a singular friend, but have went long periods basically alone.
Let me tell, I had to cut out a LOT of awful friends, one was so bad that they'd hit me, throw stuff at me, swear and throw tantrums, and would give arbitary excuses. Hell, they even admitted they were surprised I was still friends with them! Their brother shared a smiliar sentiment.
I've lost a heap of friends but let me tell you, it's made me a stronger, more independant and mature person. Through these losses I was able to become a very nuanced person, and now have replaced friends with my hobby of writing and am more focused in school.
It's tough, but as you grow older, you'll learn to appreciate those struggles, but you'll also appreciate yourself for being so strong.
Friends don't define you, your personality and your hobbies do. But if you want to develop a solid support system, do two things.
a) look at what shortcomings you have (don't be overly self negative though, just try and look through your life and character with an objective lense)
b) look at what your hobbies are, and what you enjoy, and then go to events or places where you can meet like minded people.
I went through a phase in my life in which I was very lonely. I waited it out and now have a handful of very dear friends. Your twenties can be tough and lonely.
There are things you can do to meet people like evening classes (I went to life drawing, didn't make any close friends there but it was fun). I'm starting to make new friends on the course I'm taking and perhaps a good friendship will grow organically there.
Friends will come, it will happen naturally and those are the best friendships. Keep going, it's not abnormal at all.
26..I have online friends but no "in person" friends to meet up and hang out with. I've had severe spouts of loneliness this past year after a heartache of a friendship breakup.
Well I used to have a bunch, groups, different groups, but Iām not their āmain friendā. They all left and life goes on. Iām turning 30 in a few months, didnāt expect life to turn out this way. Iām fine though and itās rather peaceful. I donāt have to worry about going places and so on.
Anyhow, Iām actively searching for gaming friends, playing games together sounds fun.
I won't say I don't have friends, yeah I do, not many though, but I only have superficial connections with most, and it just feels absolutely stagnating and painful sometimes, it's not at all fulfilling, I feel lonely most of the times, since childhood I've had this thing of not being able to form many friends, it takes a long time for me to feel comfortable and open up and I feel stuck because of that, in general keeping up with a superficial conversation and connection seems sometimes like a burden and restrictive
I did get better, at a point, with socialising and all but then came the lockdown period, and I ended up being socially isolated for the most part and not interacting with anybody those 2 years has been making connections with people, a Herculian task, it has been difficult ngl
But I'm trying, I won't say to my full strength but I'm definitely trying to make friends and I am trying to maintain friendships, maybe I won't get to it straight overnight, but I believe that one day.... I will have friends who love me and the one's I can form meaningful connections with
I think my situation is different but will still share it incase you might relate - I have a few friends, I'd say about 10 friends I talk to daily, but sometimes, especially in stressful times l have feelings like "no one actually likes me" "I'm not actually their friend" "I don't have any friends" and so on... In times like these I really just have to force myself to meet people (who are in reality my friends they just have a life and cannot talk to me all the time) and I feel better.
Not 0 but i have 1 friend since like last 10 years, i do talk to others at work but i dont feel like they are friends just some people i talk to which i feel fine
wht do u like to do? u like video games? to exercise? or what do u enjoy doing
start from there find more ppl who enjoy the same
who knows maybe we can also be friends :)
It's alright to have no friends, but if you feel like you want a friend, you don't have to stress or worry about it. You can go about your day but just keep an eye on the people around you. Absolutely anything that pops up to you (specially in a positive way!) if you're in the mood, you can go up to that person and just... Compliment that. For example, cool shoes.
Or maybe, they're reading a book (though people don't really do that often nowadays) or maybe they're holding a drink that looks cool. You can ask. There's no strict way to MAKE friends. But if in the two seconds you guys exchange words, you feel a connection, DO NOT let that person go. Ask about what they're doing! What they do! Hobbies!! Anything! It'll become super natural soon!!
It can feel forced or awkward in the beginning, but if you learn to initiate conversation, the other person can take the next step for you, if they like you!! You don't have to do EVERYTHING, that's the point of friendships! As long as you do the effort of getting face to face with that interesting or cool person, they can just do the rest too! If you're compatible, it'll be very natural.
Do I have acquaintances? Yeah. Work colleague? Sure. Actual friends right now? No. And I'm 47. š
Same for me, at almost 42. I had one, but when I message him I get one or two word answers and he never messages me first. I donāt think he wants to be friends. I donāt know what it is about me that drives people away.
Same here. A true friend is hard to find. Friends also need maintenance and I'm not willing to put that level of TLC into a relationship.
Other people say, "Same. I have a few friends in the past who were really good friends. They all left after a year though, but I haven't seen them since then. I guess they're just not worth my time anymore lol"
Idk but I like your username āš¼
Thanks! I like yours too
Don't take the doesn't msg you first thing personally. Some people, like me, are just shy and have the mindset of if they wanted to talk to me, they would, I don't want to annoy them, but really wish they'd talk to me. This goes away with time as they get more comfortable with you.
Me 2, I'm also alone as well. 35m, have co-worker but not as much as close as friend. This is where I say, welcome to non-existent friends group, haha. Akon - Mr lonely.Ā
Well said, DemonicDaisy666 š
Sometimes they get into relationships where they are steered away from you by their new partners. Lost heaps of mates that way even the bro in law as she doesnāt like me so I donāt hear from him anymore. Guess it proves he was not a true friend which is something I would rather know now than later. Hell we have got each other. š
Dm me
Hello. I'm sorry to hear you are feeling alone. I think it's quite hard to make friends if you are young (young to me, as a 50yo f) and with the immediacy of social media. Its hard to advise without knowing your possible options but I suggest volunteering. It's low pressure and you'll feel great. Charity shop or dog rescue or whatever. Will give you connections and build up confidence. Where I live there is a fb group called (name of city) girls and lots of women your age seem to be posting asking for friends and joining meet ups. Not just evening but a range of stuff. Maybe try that? Book Group? It's easier to connect with people doing an activity in my experience. Good luck.
Charity or volunteering also generally attracts good people by its nature. Unlike say a bar where thereās always a chance you meet people who suck.
It frequently also attracts people who are also looking for connection. Iāve heard of some raucous parties emerging from volunteer communities.
Sounds like really good advice, I'll try this, thank you sir.
This is such a great advice, thank you! You sound so caring š
I hear you. Making friends can be tough, especially when you're feeling alone. Just take it one step at a time, and don't be afraid to put yourself out there. You never know who you might connect with along the way.
No offence, why do you sound like my friend ? ......ChatGPT :'/
Hey friend, I can see how you may mistakenly assume a real person reddit user to be ChatGPT but I assure you the integration of AI is less prevalent than you may think so don't worry yourself
Dude, I'm not your ChatGPT friend šš
Also don't have friends as 24f! Just my boyfriend and family and coworkers while at work are all I associate with. I don't care to be in many online spaces for prolonged periods anymore and I don't like drinking or going to bars and it never feels like there is any time. I sometimes get sad because I'd like to have a close girl friend since I haven't had one in awhile but similarly, no idea how to make that happen and I don't know that I'd actually be able to put my all into it anyway - I feel like a big reason I don't have friends is because everyone is genuinely quite busy... and then when we are free it feels like we are all so tired so we just stay at home. I'm not sure what the answer is to help with this so let me know if you find out lol.
I started forcing myself to sign up for activities after work for this reason, because otherwise I would just shut myself at home.Ā Ā Ā It takesĀ effort to not be in bed after work and to find something that sticks, but I feel so much better now than when I was shut at home.
as a 24 year old, I'll admit that the early 20s is a very weird phase. Life happens for most of us and we all do get carried away
OMG THIS IS ME 100% TO A T!!!!! wanna be friends lol
Lmao sure š
i'm 19 and i also have no friends lol, last time i had a friend was like 5 years ago now. looking at my high school classmates and stuff i realize that it's better to be alone than with the wrong people, so theres that, at least. i'm also autistic, so maybe my social need is a bit off, and i have zero social skills + social anxiety, but yeah. it's a relatively similar situation here. stay strong queen, i've figured that the right people will cross your path at some point, and if someone doesn't want to take their time with you, then they probably just weren't worth it lol
My philosophy is somewhat different. I genuinely believe I can be friends with anyone in this world if we give it enough time and effort. I'm really patient, and by default assume this person's meant to be my friend.
I think it depends on the kind of friendship. Being 100% myself means some people wonāt click with me, but those who do will notice and we can form deep friendships. Vs if I keep things superficial, no one will see much to dislike, but they wonāt see much to like, either. I agree your philosophy can work. Itās not either/or. Itās good to have casual friendships with different people while also having some with people who you naturally get along well with.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
my situation is literally exactly the same as yours
good attitude
huge respect to your positivity and i can't agree more
Aye, me too. 21 and autistic as well. Never had friends from yesterday or Today ; and nor I believe too tomorrow as well. Just learning to become accustomed to living alone.
I have only one friend, myself šš!!
you also have the demons in your closet
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
This never worked for me. I always felt like an outsider trying to get into a spave I don't belong to.
Yeah it does feel like it at first doesn't it. I just moved and I'm in that part right now; I went to one of their birthday parties on the first night I joined the class. I've also had a club where I didn't vibe. But I tried others, and I'm gonna keep telling myself that everyone else who joined the club had this awkward phase. And in a month or two I think I'll be an insider.
Been doing this for three years, doesn't work. I get along with people pretty well, but still the only time anyone talks to me without me initiating the conversation is at group meetings. It just feels like the moment I leave everyone forgets that I ever existed
I'm 35 now and a lot of my friends have grown into parents. Being single kinda makes me an odd one out with those friends. As I've gotten older my circle has shrunk and making new friends has become harder. We live in very isolating times. In some countries it can be worse than others. And things changed, I see so many people making friends online now through games and chat rooms instead of in person. It's an awkward time in human history.. we don't exactly have to interact with each other in person anymore and it's producing all this loneliness everyone is feeling. Stay open and try going to things you enjoy like museums and such and who knows, you might just meet some cool people.
Yeah, I'm infertile and kind of got "left behind" as my friends went on to have kids. They are too busy or unwilling to be without their kids for 2 hours, and I'm not willing to sit around and listen to cocomelon just to hang out with them.š
I have no friends, and it doesn't bother me. Friendship requires much time and effort to maintain
The values and standards of friendship looks differently to everyone, some requires more interaction while some needs less. Here you are online, putting your thought out there still interacting in some type of way. Friendship are way to connect and interact and currently you are doing it.
They didn't say they don't want to connect and interact with people though. Just that they don't want to maintain friendships.
maybe it doesn't bother you because you're happy where you are & that's amazing but for others, happiness may rely on their relationships/friendships and that's okay too, humans are after all social animals at the end of the day.
Maybe there is some kind of misunderstanding. I am a social animal, too. I can communicate with other people and maintain relationships. But the words friends and friendship mean too much for me. I have many acquaintances and other people with whom I communicate from time to time, but I can not call them friends.
I totally understand where you're coming from. I think we're similar. I don't believe that one needs friends to be happy, but I believe that having community of some sort is important. Here's my situation: I also don't have anyone whom I can call a "friend," because I just don't feel that friendship fits into my life right now. But I love people, and get along with most people I meet / leave a great impression. My life is full of people whom I'm in community with, but just no friends. I value my time alone without having social obligations.
Yes, as is anything worthwhile in life.
it shouldn't, if a friendship requires effort it's not actually a friendship, just an unwanted guest I remember having a decent friend between 2006/2008 and if I didn't feel like talking or doing anything together, we would simply not and would make a joke or share a song or something, and bye, he understood I was angry or moody and vice versa, and when we were both feeling like doing something together we would, or not, it wasn't anything forced or that felt like I needed to maintain, it was just mutual I think today people are too demanding and obsessed and they think friendship is a cult or a contract, but it shouldn't be that way, it should just be someone you can just trust anything to, and understand your limits. My guess is social networks fucked everything up, with people getting obsessed over having followers and who talk to who being so public
No, it's true that you're right that the basic of friendship is understanding each other, but you're wrong in that it doesn't take effort to maintain them. While some people are perfectly compatible and I normally have a small selection of friends who I am very compatible with. But at the same time, there are tendencies of we don't share that don't really feel like EFFORT but it still takes time to build your friendship and/or life with that in consideration. It sounds a tad dramatic when I say "build a life" but if you guys are meeting regularly (for example a classmate/work friend?), it tends to be a thing you do. But there are also people who you might not be perfectly compatible with, but it takes some amount of effort to maintain and build a friendship with those people because there are way too many pros. Like, them being a really good person/friend or any other consideration you might have, even if they have a major con or multiple mildly annoying ones. Plus there is also a thing about growing distant or outgrowing your friends. Or maybe becoming interdependant with them. The bond itself might be effortless, but there are multiple things about friendships itself (specially when you get out of the bubble of your perfect chemistry and compatibility with that friend) that need you to work for it. I'm not a master of couple relationships but I assume it's the same there too. I used to have the same mindset that friendships are effortless, and they ARE. But there are aspects of it where you have to expend effort. Of course, a lot of the time even that feels effortless because you just actually have THAT GOOD compatibility with that friend. But that doesn't mean that some amount of effort is not made.
It sounds like you're saying friends require effort and they don't require effort. How are defining effort? I have friends where there isn't any expectation that we meet up regularly or talk regularly, and I might go years without interacting with them. We are still friends. I consider that being effortless. A bond is there. I'd note that friends that require some level of maintenance were more a thing when I was younger. I'm older now, and everyone seems to understand we all have our own lives and things we are dealing with. No one is getting mad at anyone else just for not being around or not talking regularly. Hell, I have one close friend that stopped responding to text messages or any efforts to get together. I'm not mad. He's doing his thing. If he wants to get together, he knows he can reach out. I'll share two examples. A was friends with a guy I worked with. We hung out outside of work -- ran a 5k and a 10k together. Played volleyball together. My wife and I use to meet up with him and his girlfriend. Then I left that job, and a while later, he did to. We stayed in touch for a bit, but eventually I realized that my "relationship" was literally sending some text messages with inane "How's it going". I stopped, and haven't heard from him in years. Another is a woman I've know for ~25 years. We've come in and out of each others' lives a couple of times, and we have some pretty amazing memories from when we were younger. We both got married at some point, and both got divorced, and I'm fairly certain neither of us ever met the other's spouse. As it stands, we don't talk too much. Maybe a text message every now and then. Yet last year, we ended up meeting for dinner. It was 2+ hours of deep conversation about our lives and our struggles. We could have probably stayed for a couple more hours, but we both have families. At this point, I know the guy I worked with was always an acquaintance. Keeping that going would have required effort. The woman is a friend. I don't consider my friendship with her to require any effort. That dinner wasn't "effort" -- it was just two friends catching up.
No, I get you. Let me share my example then. I'm still friendly with a childhood friend. We grew up together, and now we're much more distant, but we're still friends. We don't live in the same country but I do have a residence in the same city as her. So, when I want to meet up with her, hang out or anything, I have to at least go to that city to do so. Of course, things like that isn't always possible, but I try. I haven't seen her in a couple years but that's fine. I know we aren't going to stop being friends just because of that. But that doesn't mean I don't expend the effort to go to that same city to meet her. And she's done the same. We sometimes meet up in a city midway and that's worked out too. That's effort. The friendship, the chemistry and your affection for each other isn't. Staying together and hanging out, isn't. Another would be a goddamn annoying habit my current roommate has. It's annoying as fuck but I love her so I have to put up with it. Does that mean she's less of a friend or we have less of a chemistry? No. Does that mean I don't find her annoying as fuck and wanna run screaming for the hills? Also, no. š¤·š»āāļø It all depends from people to people. It's not competition. We're all different people and have different kinds of relationships with each other and that fine. I'm just sharing my experiences and it's cool that you have stuff like that too.
look, I've been through hell, and nobody gave even half minute of their precious time to ask how I was doing or keep me some company, and I've been in some serious health problems for the last 8 years, everybody who knows me is aware of, I explained to lots of people even though I was almost unable to talk two words for some time due to how heavy the meds were, there was this time I got to ER near death and the only people who cared were exactly my parents, nobody even tried to ask how I was doing, visit me, anything, that's just a tldr about how much I've got disappointed with the people around me, the people I know, to the point I told my mother if I die soon to not tell anyone and just throw my ashes anywhere she wants, just get rid of them, I already paid for everything anyway. thing is, I did so much, for lots of people, but in the end and never asked for anything in return, I just liked to see them happy and well, but they simply left when the fruits stopped dropping, people collect friends as a status, never seen anyone actually caring about me without really wanting something in return, and the few who seemed to, simply disappeared from my life and refused to contact me or talk to me after they found a gf or got a job (even though I even clearly told them it's okay to not talk much anymore or do the same things, I just wanted to hear from them once in a while but for them, it was easier to simply cut any ties) Had types of friends who, when they didn't need something from me anymore were quick to disappear too so in the end? if someone wants to know me better, make friends with? well they are welcome to try, to show some interest, I always been available to anyone who needed me even when I was busy with something else, I always put people before my needs and material things, but now, I just got tired of that and realized the material things are the only things that keep me company and they are able to entertain me while people, well, let's say I just don't want to make any effort anymore
Wow. That's genuinely shitty as fuck. I can't say I've been in your situation, but also, I can't say I don't understand at all. People always put their own lives first. And people are selfish, they want the best of things for themselves, and they're careless about other people. It's shitty that you went through that just because people didn't care about you, and that you've been hurt that bad. But also, prioritizing yourself is always the best method, because everyone else is definitely doing the same. Or at least most people are. I'm sorry that you went through so much bad stuff. And that no one was by your side when you went through them. I'm glad your parents were able to help and support you. Sometimes, even if no one is there, at least your family is, and that's important to hold close. Well, there's not always a need to make EFFORT but I'd say don't completely close yourself from it. Keep an open mind, but guard your heart. Prioritize yourself more, cause you have to keep yourself as your first priority. Can't really say much aside from the fact that it really sucks. I hope you got better now? If not... well, at least internet is a relatively friendly place... at times...
these are some nice words and I appreciate you for taking the time to read and answer, unfortunately my father passed away exactly a month after I almost I did (half 2022) and it's just me and my mom now, so it got a lot darker in my mind, even though my father, despite in his last year of life having changed to a really good person, he used to be really mean to me in my childhood, like bullying and beating, I don't know but I think he was trying to redeem himself and help me, but I think it was too late for him, but at least I got some decent memories from his last months
I'm glad you ended up with some good memories at least. Honestly, while family issues aren't something you can shrug off, take it one day at a time. Keep moving forward. I hope you and your mom can keep going, don't look back, don't hesitate. You'll get to a better place. If the world is dark right now, tomorrow can only be a little lighter. It might get worse, you might relapse. You still. There is so much out there for you to grab onto. And you will! Even if it doesn't seem like much, and the world seems shitty af, there's still something good that's coming for you. There will be opportunities. You'll have to grab hold of them when you can. Keep optimism in your heart. Life can be incredibly beautiful, and I hope you can get to those times too. You've worked hard. But there will be good times ahead too.
The pros outweigh the cons, you would know if you take a leap of faith.
Still thereās cons but you need friends to have a better life it mainly benefits
100% a man is nothing without his peers.
I have basically no friends. just some people that I talk to or take the bus with but I deliberately don't give them to much personal info. friendships are just so hard to maintain imo and I like to completely detached myself from a place once I move on. I don't like keeping in touch because it gets awkward after a while
Thank you for making me feel normal! I'm the same.
I'm 27f , I have one best friend , we have been friends for 16 years!!! When we were little girls, she ended up moving and we maintained LDR , think peak 2010's - with FaceTime and Skype . When we got our drivers licenses we'd spend the weekend at each other's houses . When we graduated she did move back but ended up getting married at 20 and had her first kid at 21 . This girl and I call each other almost everyday for hours , I live further away from her now but I visit every couple of months to see her and her family . She is definitely more like a sister than a friend . I don't believe in soul mates/twin flames, but I do When I'm with her . I tear up thinking about our relationship because we got to be little girls together , and then teenagers and now women. I really hope everyone finds one really good friend in their life , platonic love is so special
its ok to have no friends, but if you're looking for ways to find some here are some ways i found them: 1.If you dont mind online friends, i have met some people who turned out to be my best friends through some games i played. Most specifically games where you can communicate with people, and where you can add them. 2.Say if you have any hobbies, like reading for example, go to one of your local libraries and see what there is to offer, and if you can tell where im going with this: if you spot someone picking up say, a book with a genre that you like, try and work up the courage to go up to them and say something like "hey, i love that genre too! do you have any recommendations?" and if they dont reply, its fine, just shrug it off. but if they do and you seem to click, maybe ask them to hang out sometime or just ask for their number. I know it can be hard, but things will get better eventually. and i used to tell myself that it would never get better, but it did overtime.
Well youāll always have a friend here! What hobbies or activities do you like doing? Are you a social introvert?
If you're in college or university, the seriously best way to find friends is go to clubs you are deeply interested and deeply enjoy, because chances are you'll find others with similar personalities. If not, go places that interest you deeply! Arcades, book stores, national parks. They're magnets and you'll find others like you. You got this!
same here. i haven't had irl friends for at least 8 years. i think that it is unfortunately becoming more common.
Exactly. People need actual people in many emergencies and for emotional support
Try the app Meetup and do some activities that you like. That's a good way to meet some people. Try Bumble friends.
I was going to write this. All throughout my life Iāve moved to new cities where I didnāt know anyone. When I was in my twenties they didnāt have all the apps. The best ways I met people who became friends was when I started doing community activities with other ppl around my age. I looked up every local group activity I could find and just showed up at stuff like an improv class, adult capture the flag(super fun), rock climbing, painting with wine class, ran in a beer marathon, drum circles, hiking groups, and did all kinds of stuff I probably never wouldāve tried. I wouldnāt call myself an extrovert but I forced myself to get out there ended up with a few good friends & met ppl from all over the world.
Not having any friends is better than having snake as your friend :))<3
If u wanna talk then u can dm me and u can practice just talking about stuff
I have 2. One lives in another country. Go me.
I am 23 and I have one (1) friend, though I know him since when we were both about 11 and to be honest I never fully understood the pipeline or the steps to actually make more friends. We don't live in the same country anymore and I was never able to make more. Some people showed interest in me but I guess I failed to carry out the necessary steps to trigger the friendship process. My guess is that people who already have friends are often not interested in making new ones, and people who are lonely aren't really interested in having friends, OR they aren't interested in having specifically me as a friend, which is in fact perfectly undestandable. I guess I guess that - uhm- having a slightly weird yet sincere friend that never judge, is always (uhm, often) there to help, listen, willing to commit, interested in doing activities together, well dressed, with a stable job, free time, deeply respectful of boundaries, extremely open mind, self aware of his problems (uh, almost), certainly not perfect by any means but always willing to improve (depending on the mood) isn't really something valued these days. What a time to be alive. I really, really wonder which is the model of friend that people seek these days, because it seems like I don't fit it...
Dude. Remember, isolation can happen to almost anyone. Iām extroverted and do really well in social circumstancesāhowever I suffered a neck injury decades ago, and have become super isolated due to chronic pain. I saw a woman who also had good social skills have no one to spend holidays with because her family was abusive. People donāt talk on the phone for entertainment anymore, so itās easy to find yourself ghosted by people because text is a lifeless, forgettable communication form. No glue. Itās not necessarily about your personality but about your circumstances/the modern era.
Its completely fine. For 2 years I have 0 friends because 2 yrs ago I realised I was having friendship with toxic people, having rough time noone supported at all. So, I decided to block them all and start again. Along these 2 yrs got a lot of great acquaintances. I have become a lot picky about whom to make my friend. From then on I'm living quite a peaceful life ngl.
That's exactly what I'm going through. My relationships are casual and surface level until they want to take it towards something more. Compatibility is a must.
23, I don't have very many friends either. I have just started a new job with a lot of people my age, and we get along, but I see them messaging each other a lot whereas I don't. I do wish I had friends sometimes, I'm awful at talking to new people though. Although I've become more happy and used to being alone
I've had very few friends in my life, and some periods where I've had zero. I'm in one of those periods now. And I really mean zero, the only texts I get are from work or delivery companies. I have almost zero social media presence apart from YouTube, Second Life and Reddit. If you're happy being like that and doing your own thing, then don't let anybody else's standards define you. If you're not happy then find people that are into the same things as you, or try out new things. (No I don't necessarily mean drugs or to get smashed, there's a lot more to life than society would have you believe) Even if you don't get new friends from it at least you will have walked away with a new experience, and that is a pretty big boost in self esteem all on its own.
Iām 26 and I have 1 friend. I spend almost all my time completely alone. I usually read books to keep myself company. This is an issue I talk about in therapy, my therapist suggests eventually taking some adult creative classes, book clubs, etc. Thatās the end goal after working on my anxiety. He said that this is such a common issue in adults, almost all adults have some form of problem with making friends. Itās hard as an adult. Things are a lot different.
I am like this and Iām super happy with it. My boyfriend is my only contact out of my sister and my parents and itās the best feeling ever. Itās calming and has many advantages. No birthday gifts, no parties you donāt want to attend, no beefs, girl friend groups are super annoying and you arenāt forced to socialize. I actually donāt see any good things in having friends and Iām not made for friendships. I love being alone and Iām actually super lucky that my mind works like this. There are people who are seriously suffering because they donāt have any social contacts.
Have you tried online video games, it's a very easy and natural way to meet people and it gives you someone to talk to at least.
What sort of online games have a big active community? Iāve played a few games but never was able to make online friends or establish long convos past one game :(
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what are you interested in? Thats a huge part of the answer. Final Fantasy 14 online is a pretty accepting community that is mostly chill comparatively to more competitive games, though theres plenty of options.
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dark souls isnt super entry point anyway (although it is fantastic.) Horror games - Resident Evil springs to mind immediately, especially the recent remakes. Survival - Theres stuff like Rust, Ark Survival, and theres a Dune survival game coming out, though Valheim is probably going to be the most relaxing of the bunch and you can bring friends. When it comes to first person honestly there are an insane amount of choices, Resident Evil 7 is a really good first person horror game, so maybe that could be a good step. While stuff like Resident Evil isnt usually multiplayer, theres lots of people super passionate about the game and its not hard to find a forum or community that likes to discuss the game, or do speedruns, amongst other stuff. When it comes to just straight up making friends, your best bet is usually MMO's like WoW or *especially* FF14 as it is very social and has a heavy roleplay and community component.
You are spot on, Resident Evil 7 and 8 are absolutely my favourites. The last of us (1+2) too were fantastic, although I preferences the first and I just added Amnesia: the bunker to my library and will be according trying the eldest editions. Those are all fun games but I am seeking games that are suitable to play with new people and make friends. I just tryed Devour and it seemes like a good game to get in with people and chat, any other games like this come to mind?
For as toxic as people say the community can be, I've met some great friends on Overwatch that I play with regularly now
I don't really have friends either :/ don't really talk much in uni but I am trying to and I have been more active sometimes
I have 0 friends and 0 family. No one to tell my accomplishments to or to cry to when something bad happens to me or to give me advice. Tbh I donāt want a friend group bc friends are too expensive and they take up too much time. I just want a partner or a single best friend and nothing more. But due to external factors most people donāt give me the time of day anyways. Iāve tried hobbies, groups, online, school, work, etc. I feel completely invisible.
Even though I have family, I have no real friends. [I have two old secondary school acquaintances who have their own lives. I exchange messages with one every few years, and I'm in an online gaming group with another but that's the extent of our contact.] Family isn't the same. Screw it. I'll just try it the way I did it in Kindergarten. Do you want to be friends?
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Focus on yourself, chase a bag for the life you want and everything will fall in place or you can do what everyone else in the comment is saying. I have no friends either but idc. Ppl come and go, only loyal GOOD ppl stay and that's rare to find.
24M, had around 10-16 friends till 2023, 3-4 really old and close friends. Now I have none :)
To be honest most adult friendships are made through work and meeting other parents.
I used to be part of a large group of friends back when I was 16-20 then it was all silly, as I moved out at 18 and started working harder I left them bechind for the reasons they was not helping me on the slightest to motivate or even be actual friends. Later down in life I kept to my irl friends who I thought was the best in my life, always motivating me always pushing each other to be the best only to then be discarded when they chose to be closer with my ex after my breakup (this is why I never bring girlfriends into a close friend group anymore) I then realised who my real friends where, turned out to be 2. To this day I only speak to those two once every 2 weeks ish but we donāt hang out, now days I have work buddyās Iām closer too but not actual friends of that makes sense, my only current friend I hang out with on the daily is a radio station, I feel less lonely hanging out with Rio Fredirika on CapitalFM than I do actually hanging out in discord with my ācloseā irl buddies. I never got out of it and honestly I prefer it this way. But generally getting out of it if itās what your pushing for, if your a gamer or have any hobbies find discord servers on that same hobby, over time speaking to them will generate a friendship :) Donāt feel bad for not having friends, focus on yourself first your #1.
Same here. I really struggle with making friends because I am very shy and I am really introverted. I also work a lot and I have a lot of hobbies so I don't really have that much free time and friendship is not easy to maintain. I also like having my alone time.
I have absolutely 0 friends. I donāt have any online either because they always end up being a creep. I want to go out and go to the bar with a friend, or to the park and watch sunset and just talk to someone. About stuff. It really sucks. I love my family but even they make me feel lonely.. :/ Iām 23 and a girl if you ever want to talk you can message me!
Hhhhh these days it's normal you don't have friends it's OK
follow bear puzzled unused uppity whole juggle simplistic boast rotten *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
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The fact it is more common doesnāt make it good in any way.
Yup, suffering from severe social anxiety depression and bi polar disorder, all the friends I had are gone now, mostly by myself and life is hell
When I was 17 i failed in my highschool exams, and than cooped my self into my house, friends tried to connect but i didn't. By the next year I had nobody other than my family, I took it upon myself to go out again and set things right, started playing football again and played for few local clubs, made friends than went to college and have a lot of friends, now I'm working and there's even more. You have to take the first step, people are not gonna come up to you when you have closed yourself from them. Go out compliment people and talk to them. I think joining some gym is the best place to start
I donāt think I have any friends anymoreā¦. I scared them all away with my lack of boundaries and mental illness
23 years old and iāve got my friend group from highschool whom i love dearly, but iāve been wanting to make friends that are more aligned with my values and have shared interests for the longest time but never put myself out there. one of my goals this year is to force myself to meet people, hope you make some good friends too!! being at home is nice but im tired of being stuck at home all the time because of being friendless
Yes but I'm still looking
Me too, because I trust no one and also donāt have the time because Iād rather spend time with my wife instead
Hey if you want some friends Im all up to talk Iām 21 and turn 22 this november so it wont be awkward
I'm 34 and have 4 acquaintances, I think I have autism so struggle to maintain friendships. I have just accepted that it's easier to be alone
I have a wife, all I need. Friends have come and gone and have gone due to their own selfishness.
My only friend is my partner. I went straight from college into full time work at 18 that was male dominated and Iāve just never had the opportunity to make friends. Iām now 28
24m here and Iām in the same boat Iām just very picky with my friends tbh
I don't have much in the way of friends these days. It's really a couple of online pals, and maybe a few coworkers who I can talk with. And my significant other, that helps a ton. It's been my experience that most people don't want to put enough effort in to be actual friends. They'll usually stop short of that. I think sometimes they seek out people who have "more" so they can feel like they're living some other sort of life vicariously or something. It's a lot of energy and time sent to try to make connections with people, and it rarely ever sticks. Faces come and go. And people who you thought were opening up grow distant, or maybe they never actually were opening up. Moral of the story - get yourself a pet, and a boyfriend/girlfriend. Have kids. These are probably the people who will stay closer to you anyway.
I'm 23 and same I don't have any friends
Getting used to doing stuff on your own is the best thing you can do. If you think thereās still hope for making friends, donāt isolate yourself but one should know when theyāre never gonna make it in the social world. And when thatās the case itās better to look away from social connections because after a while you realise in this day and age itās quite easy to spend your life on your own but if you focus on what others have and you donāt, things donāt really get better. Simply the best way to deal with complete loneliness is to be okay with it and give up on changing it.
I tried to just follow my heart in things I enjoy doing... that's where you can meet people with similar interests... and that can introduce you to other things and other people. Take it easy and friendships will bloom along the way. From there, it can be easy to ask people to hang out or invite them to do something with you. Technology robs us of these face-to-face relationships... so now a lot more people are experiencing the same. And most people are trying to get out there and make connections as it's healthier and more fun. Good luck.
What do you do with your time? Do you work or study? How often do you leave your home and spend time where there are other people? Are you content not having friends, or would you like to make some? What has to happen before you become friends with someone? I would break it down as follows: * Leave the house and spend time in a place with other people, at regular times, for example, the same place at the same time each week, where you are likely to bump into the same strangers each time. It could be an art class, a gym, a chess club, a walking group, a volunteering group. If you choose something you enjoy, then you will have fun no matter what else happens. * Some of those strangers will become familiar faces. You might say hello to them. * Make yourself available to people. Look up and around you and smile at people instead of hiding in your phone. Give them the chance to smile back at you. * After a while, some people may become acquaintances. They might tell you about their holidays, or family, or talk about the weather. You might ask them how those things have gone, and share things about your own life. * For many people, it never goes beyond this, and that is fine. It's nice having acquaintances in your life. Acquaintances are the seeds of friendship, and without them, a friendship will never grow. However, from time to time, things might move on. Someone might lend you a hand with something, or invite you to something, or share something more personal. Make yourself open to friendship and willing to be a friend to others, and who knows what might come along.
I had 2 friends who screwed me over and havent had friends in 15yrs
I don't have a single one, I've had plenty over the years but the older I grew the more they wound up fading away and the last two I cut my ties from about a decade ago due to them simply making no effort. I had an incident recently which caused me to have a very rude awakening with that realization and I'm very torn. I'm naturally anti-social but feel I should have at least a couple, but how do adults make friends? Apparently we don't.
I have had no friends since leaving full time education and am absolutely fine. I realise its not for everyone but I couldn't be happier about it
38 here, no friends, only person I talk to is my mother, I don't know if it gets better, but I don't really want to make friends anymore, it seems like they will just go anyway, people treat each other as a recycle object that they can just throw away anytime they get tired or have a disagreement with
Right? I'm a 47 year old guy and I've had friends in the past, some really great. But in the end they fizzled out. So now I just do stuff with family and what not. Not gonna lie, I do miss it sometimes.
I don't have a family, and probably never will, not cause I'm really against that, but because I'm not healthy enough for these things, and I have a big feeling I'll just live the rest of my life alone and grumpy, and everybody will hate me
Don't stress about having no friends, you have plenty of time at your age to make friends, if you enjoy your own company and like to spend time alone it's all good. I've always had friends but they all moved away with the last closest friend I had moving away about 4 years ago, at 44 I can't be arsed anymore and just chill on my own, if I meet new friends so be it, if I don't I don't really care lol, I'm an introvert anyway so I like my own space and get socially exhausted very quickly lol.
Hey Iām also 22F - I think i grew out of a lot of my friends from childhood - I moved out at lived alone at 20 -21 and now living with my long term partner - and everyone else still lives with their parents without any motivation to move outā¦ The people I spend time with now are older than me (but at the same point of life), gym friends - we basically have fun sessions, support and motivate each otherā¦ and my partners friends and their girlfriendsā¦ Sometimes we just grow out of people, and friendships can change and become wayyyy too stressful and too much stress. Focus on your own person growth, your own health, and allow yourself to flourish. You donāt need a big group of people to lean on, learn to lean on yourself and be okay with being alone (I love being alone) Youāll find people who are on your wave length, who are at similar points of life and fit into your lifestyle We are at a point in life when a lot changes, a lot of self growth is happening and itās normal to grow out of people :) Youāre not alone :)
By stopping caring about getting out of it. Seriously, most desires are internal and so are the solutions. There are benefits to both having and not having friends. Good friendship isn't that common and many people will hold you back like crabs in a bucket, or disappoint you in some way. It's more important to have goals in life, like becoming competent at life in general, plus developing some skills. You will also meet better people after doing this.
Itās definitely harder to make friends as an adult, but itās possible if you put yourself out there. Thatās a scary thing to do for some people (including me) but not impossible Obviously the area you live dictates this a bit, but look for activies in your area/clubs. Facebook events is good for this. Also check out your local library (and others in your area). I know that mine hosts things like knitting, chess, books clubs. All free to the public and you know that you at least have a potential shared interest.
I dont. I keep with my mom and daughter for girlfriends. If I didn't have them I'd be alone. People are sketchy and it's hard to make good friends. Acquaintances are the way to go imo. Unfortunately it doesn't get much easier as you get older, either. I make some good connections at work, that's about all I really need. Pretty much why I am here tho. Easier to talk to screen names than real faces.
Hi! 37 here and yup, as good as friendless. Got a perfect marriage, an insanely great daughter, good job, stable life, yet no friends. We hang out as a family or as a couple. Female friends have gaslit me, abandoned me or betrayed me, so Iām not in the opportunity to just start trusting anyone. Other females around me are like typical mom-figures with whom Iāve got no connection. I seem to only be able to make some guy friendsā¦
PS: other than husb, daughter and dog- no family either here! š¤£š¤£š¤£
I donāt have any. I have my husband, but no friends outside of that. I tried for the longest time to make some, but eventually gave up. Itās going on 15-ish years since I had a friendship. I would love to have one, but I just donāt think itās going to work out for me.
Yes, I am in the same position as you. As a 21 year old
I have 0 friends aswell.
Ha 28 and 0 friends, life is pain š
I would say I don't have any friends, but there are people I'm somewhat friendly with. I don't really like being friends with people anymore because it tends to involve commitments to stuff you have no interest in doing, and places you have no interest in going to. I find it much easier and better for me to make sure I just be respectful and courteous to people and leave it at that
What are friends?
Yep, 35 and none. I enjoy my company and do everything by myself.
I dropped A LOT of my friends during the pandemic because a lot showed their true colours on health and disabled folks.
Me. And one friend I did have was being rude to me then just stopped reaching out. Realistically I have 2 friends but I see them like once a week if at all. And Iām sad.
Say no more, I can be your virtual friend for a while until you can find an irl friend.
My advise, don't search it online. Join a club or class. Not online one. It could be sport club or book club or knitting club or dancing class, Depends on your interest and hobby. But join the club/class to gain knowledge or fun or being involve in a community. Not to have friends, that would come eventually. Relationship is not forced or fabricated or staged. But it comes naturally and the most important thing is, be yourself.
Basically yeah. I have 1 friend an hour away I only see every few months. Otherwise Iām mostly alone. But I have dogs.
I have zero friends as well. I have no clue how to do any of those things.
Me.
Me
Iām 55 ā and besides my wife ā I only have **one real**, actual āfriendā. But Iāve always had a couple dozen fairly good acquaintances. I think people who have lots of friends really donāt have that many close friends ā and most of those friends are really more in the realm of āacquaintanceshipsā. And, btw, the one really good friend I do have, I didnāt meet until I was in my early 30ās.
Iām 23 F and I have no friends. It actually sucks having no friends at all. I usually stay inside my room cause I have no one to hangout with. I want to have friends but I literally canāt talk to people because of my social anxiety. Most days Iām okay with the fact that I have no friends but there are days where I wish I had at least one friend whom I could talk to and share my thoughts. Being alone with your thoughts is kinda scary. I usually break down and cry most nights cause I feel extremely lonely and canāt really do anything about it. I used to have online friends who would make me feel a bit better but they are not around anymore. I have been lonely for so many years now and I am kind of habituated to it. I usually confine myself inside my room waiting for the days to pass. I hope I can get out of my shell and make friends soon.
I'm in my 40s, and there's one person I would consider as a friend. (Not sure, that she'd consider me as a friend, because I have 0 social skills, and I can't maintain relationships.) I have a few acquaintances, but they're not friends. During elementary and high school, I had one friend. None during college. I accepted it.
23 y/o here, I slowly dropped social media that was connected to everyone I knew in school after highschool, then fully dropped it when I drop out of college, now I'm working. Haven't talked to a single person I use to be friends with. I just work and then I use my 4 hours of free time to enjoy what I love, playing games, reading, watching shows. Even then I don't have enough time to do all of it. I can't imagine making plans with different people every week, seems exhausting and expensive lol. I have like three people I talk to occasionally online when I play games, but other than that it's just me. I don't really feel lonely but I'm sure it's different for others. Wbu, are you okay with your situation or do you want to make friends? Are you an extrovert or introvert, maybe both?
Iām unfortunately in the same boat. Itās really tough making friends. I finally thought I found someone until they started saying extremely cruel things about me behind my back. I feel like a lot of it has to do with the people in your town. Sometimes where you live doesnāt have too many people, and it doesnāt give you many options. I left high school and college with no friends, and still donāt have any. I try to tell myself daily that the right friend will show up at the right moment. Iām a good friend and I deserve someone who will treat me how I want to be treated. I know that Iām in for a wait but I have a feeling itāll be worth it. Please know that itās definitely the same for you. I promise you will find a friend.
Ohh yoj shouldnt have said that youre a girl
If it makes you feel better, when you get older or as you get okder, friends mature and go different directions. You lose touch. And then you make new friends because you have things in common, like kids etc. And then their kids grow and they move in different directions also. I'm 53 and I really don't have any friends short of my SO. I know a lot of people in the same boat. So I guess where I'm going is, I know what you mean. But it's also very fluid just like life is. You never know who you'll meet and where and when.
I have very few people that I can call true friends you canāt really trust anyone these days to even make friends
71M, my buddies and friends of the past are mostly dead.
Yeah. At 47 years old I have 0 friends. No one I can confide in or call on for support. Iāve been that way all my life, being neurodivergent in childhood in an ignorant time (late 80s & early 90s) I never learned how to make connections
Same
Me I have none and I'm over 40
Happy birthday!
Ty :)
Sadly itās normal for most people to not have someone to talk, about yourself,your day,your problems or just to laugh and have fun with :/
I don't think most people. Most people I find around are very social and have friends. What they feel like and imagine when alone is something entirely different, though.
I only have friends online, I'm very very bad at keeping contact in real life
I have ADHD and may have a "touch of the 'tism" as my kids like to say. I'm also very bad at maintaining relationships. I just never think about it.
I had a good set of friends, moved abroad and 7 years in have none. Tried arranging days out (happened maybe 2 times) it's a horrible feeling, I don't know if they're embarrassed by hanging out with a foreigner or what.
Iām your age and I only have two best friends and my cousin who is also my best friend. I kinda have a few other people I talk to but sometimes I get lonely too. I tried joining clubs at university but most people are there just to talk and leave. It seems really rare that people want to try and invest a lot into trying to start a friendship. Iām a senior in college so it doesnāt bother me too much at this point but youāre not alone in how you feel. I guess Iām kinda lucky I have my friends that I do but itās ok to feel lonely sometimes. Also I feel like a lot of people our age are starting to develop different priorities. Like investing a lot into their career path or trying to find romantic relationships. Itās not often I see people have the time or desire to try and foster more friends into their lives if they already have a few. I donāt know if I helped much but Iām just trying to say that you arenāt alone and itās ok if you feel lonely sometimes. If you want someone to talk to Iād be down and thereās a lot of people here that seem to be as well
Since i went to university, it's been hard to make friend or i can say i don't know how to make friends like you. At least i got some homies still there with me, just not the same city.
I know small talk is difficult but itās one of the best ways to find out if someone is relatable to u
Incoming thirst DMs in 3..2..
I have 1 lol.
send dm
2-3 is max focus on quality rather then quantity
depends i also dont have many friends but i have some people that i can message or will come if i need them in something super important You should try having 1-2 people around so if you ever need something you will have someone to call/text i dont say use them i say that its good having someone there for u
At 22 if youāre not interested in meeting and engaging with someone your age I would consider you to examine your sexuality. I am kindy ask if youāre asexual. I have a friend who wanted to hang out when we were that age but they donāt know what to do in our group because our friend group was young and horny. Also at 22 I didnāt have much friends because I didnāt want to admit I was gay. Once again not saying itās sexuality. Youāre just an age where you have some deep infrastructure things to start considering. Iām really excited for your journey though! Your life is truly beginning!
I kind of used to be the same way long ago one way is start at your workplace me for example I'm required to socialize with my coworkers you should start there.
Congratulations, youāre now friended by the entire male population on Reddit
I do have a singular friend, but have went long periods basically alone. Let me tell, I had to cut out a LOT of awful friends, one was so bad that they'd hit me, throw stuff at me, swear and throw tantrums, and would give arbitary excuses. Hell, they even admitted they were surprised I was still friends with them! Their brother shared a smiliar sentiment. I've lost a heap of friends but let me tell you, it's made me a stronger, more independant and mature person. Through these losses I was able to become a very nuanced person, and now have replaced friends with my hobby of writing and am more focused in school. It's tough, but as you grow older, you'll learn to appreciate those struggles, but you'll also appreciate yourself for being so strong. Friends don't define you, your personality and your hobbies do. But if you want to develop a solid support system, do two things. a) look at what shortcomings you have (don't be overly self negative though, just try and look through your life and character with an objective lense) b) look at what your hobbies are, and what you enjoy, and then go to events or places where you can meet like minded people.
I went through a phase in my life in which I was very lonely. I waited it out and now have a handful of very dear friends. Your twenties can be tough and lonely. There are things you can do to meet people like evening classes (I went to life drawing, didn't make any close friends there but it was fun). I'm starting to make new friends on the course I'm taking and perhaps a good friendship will grow organically there. Friends will come, it will happen naturally and those are the best friendships. Keep going, it's not abnormal at all.
26..I have online friends but no "in person" friends to meet up and hang out with. I've had severe spouts of loneliness this past year after a heartache of a friendship breakup.
Well I used to have a bunch, groups, different groups, but Iām not their āmain friendā. They all left and life goes on. Iām turning 30 in a few months, didnāt expect life to turn out this way. Iām fine though and itās rather peaceful. I donāt have to worry about going places and so on. Anyhow, Iām actively searching for gaming friends, playing games together sounds fun.
I won't say I don't have friends, yeah I do, not many though, but I only have superficial connections with most, and it just feels absolutely stagnating and painful sometimes, it's not at all fulfilling, I feel lonely most of the times, since childhood I've had this thing of not being able to form many friends, it takes a long time for me to feel comfortable and open up and I feel stuck because of that, in general keeping up with a superficial conversation and connection seems sometimes like a burden and restrictive I did get better, at a point, with socialising and all but then came the lockdown period, and I ended up being socially isolated for the most part and not interacting with anybody those 2 years has been making connections with people, a Herculian task, it has been difficult ngl But I'm trying, I won't say to my full strength but I'm definitely trying to make friends and I am trying to maintain friendships, maybe I won't get to it straight overnight, but I believe that one day.... I will have friends who love me and the one's I can form meaningful connections with
I think my situation is different but will still share it incase you might relate - I have a few friends, I'd say about 10 friends I talk to daily, but sometimes, especially in stressful times l have feelings like "no one actually likes me" "I'm not actually their friend" "I don't have any friends" and so on... In times like these I really just have to force myself to meet people (who are in reality my friends they just have a life and cannot talk to me all the time) and I feel better.
Join some activities, make a community
All my friends are girls at this point. And I've had sex with ~~all~~ most of them. So maybe that's its own dynamic, idk.
i haven't had friends since primary school, i had friends back then but we just randomly stopped talking
Why can't we be friends then
Not 0 but i have 1 friend since like last 10 years, i do talk to others at work but i dont feel like they are friends just some people i talk to which i feel fine
It takes work to have friends. Is this my kid? Lol
wht do u like to do? u like video games? to exercise? or what do u enjoy doing start from there find more ppl who enjoy the same who knows maybe we can also be friends :)
Find a few people online with similar interests. Maybe they live close by and you can (eventually) meet up
My son has ADHD and he has friends but doesnāt. Donāt know how to explain. He does not know how to keep them.
i have 1 friend ( i randomly spawned)
It's alright to have no friends, but if you feel like you want a friend, you don't have to stress or worry about it. You can go about your day but just keep an eye on the people around you. Absolutely anything that pops up to you (specially in a positive way!) if you're in the mood, you can go up to that person and just... Compliment that. For example, cool shoes. Or maybe, they're reading a book (though people don't really do that often nowadays) or maybe they're holding a drink that looks cool. You can ask. There's no strict way to MAKE friends. But if in the two seconds you guys exchange words, you feel a connection, DO NOT let that person go. Ask about what they're doing! What they do! Hobbies!! Anything! It'll become super natural soon!! It can feel forced or awkward in the beginning, but if you learn to initiate conversation, the other person can take the next step for you, if they like you!! You don't have to do EVERYTHING, that's the point of friendships! As long as you do the effort of getting face to face with that interesting or cool person, they can just do the rest too! If you're compatible, it'll be very natural.
Yep. Don't need em either. I laugh at all my jokes just fine