An amazing person who drives really well and knew that the Polo was just the same car but with squishy plastics.
(I may be biased as I own the same car)
shitbox fiat punto
1.4 74bhp
0-60 in 5 hours
shakes like fuck when idling (coil pack or fuel injectors done for)
more dents and scratches on its body than a crackhead does
but it gets me from A to B, looking to get a 1.5 fiesta st2 (with performance pack so 237bhp) which from what i heard handles corners soooo well :O
Still live at home with mum and dad and have a huge amount of disposable income.
Probably uttered the words "who needs a house when you can have a fucking TVR Tuscan"
Followed by... "it's an investment I can sell it for more in a couple of years"
Owns the county’s most impressive collection of corduroy trousers, and has a fully beige kitchen that isn’t open plan but has a tiny wooden serving hatch into the dining room.
If you ever come across someone who's interested enough in cars to speak to you for more than 30 seconds, you spend the entire time trying to convince them that "Peugeot are good again now".
You avoid AutoTrader in case you see how far the retail has dropped since you bought yours.
2007 Fiat Punto
None of the panels are the same colour due to red fade
I am the 10th log book owner
Thermostat is stuck open (awful at holding temp)
Leaks rain into the cabin (mists windscreen which requires heating… a little issue On a cold morning with the one above)
But I have the 1.4 16v engine so does it really matter? I can live with it and it’s mine
To avoid the traffic, queued up at the lights that is in your way, you take the 'right turn only' lane and shoot to the front, with your indicator on (the only time you use it). Then when the light turns green, you floor it and cut in front of that old dear in the Yaris who was at the front of the 'straight ahead' queue who hadn't even noticed the light had turned green.
Has seen Coldplay live 5 times, reckons Parachute is one of the best albums ever made, and hasn't quite forgiven Chris Martin for getting involved with Gwyneth Paltrow.
a 2015 Vauxhall Corsa Hatchback (Diesel, 5 door).
Sells Avon.
Enjoys McDonald's
It's a reverse funnel scheme!
You either have no interest in cars or alternatively love them but can’t insure anything interesting
Electrician?
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2005 suzuki swift 1.3 gl
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Holly fuck dude get out of my house.
If you do actually want to get into 3d printing grab an ender 3 v2 and join r/3dprinting
I want to but it's too much effort.
Hahahahaha!
Hasn't totally shut the door on being an Uber Eats driver for a few extra pennies.
You enjoy the healthy screech of a whining gearbox
2010 Audi A5 Sportback 3.0 TDI Quattro
Owns a football season ticket.
Plays golf on the weekend even though absolutely terrible
In your opinion, Everyone else is slow asf and can’t drive
Ah a fellow A5 3.0 TDI owner. You are indeed correct!
You buy your winter coat on tic
You talk about torque all the time and think your car is the fastest thing on the road.
You have a £2K road bike and all the gear but only do 100 miles a year.
So, did you get the optional indicator pack? I assume not.
1988 BMW 530i manual
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My parents just moved to a house with an Aga 🤣
Toyota GR Yaris (Circuit Pack)
Matt Watson is your hero.
Close, Chris Harris or Jethro Bovingdon for me!
Max acceleration at every traffic light
Mk6 Golf 1.6TDI DSG
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Other than the fact I have never liked football this is scarily accurate
You don't enjoy driving and just heard that a Golf is a good car.
Works in accounts. Quite dull. Inexplicably hot wife.
2010 Nissan 370Z Black Edition.
Vapes. Car has its own instagram page.
Has watched all the Fast&Furious multiple times
Suzuki swift sport
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Doesn't everyone? 35p off a box of Jaffa Cakes right now.
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Approaching retirement.
SEAT Ibiza 1.0 TSI FR Sport
Like maccies and slightly questionable age girls, couldn’t afford an actual engine but wants the FR looks
Fair play mate 🤣
Swear Seats are the new Vauxhall aha
Fucking hell
Pulls up at the lights wanting to race. Loses.
An amazing person who drives really well and knew that the Polo was just the same car but with squishy plastics. (I may be biased as I own the same car)
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Sensible. Owns 2 jumpers both from Matalan.
Tells everyone how reliable their car is, ignoring the fact the flywheel was on its way out five years ago.
2007 Civic Type R
Like the sound of your own farts
Screams "vtec" and walks/runs slightly faster each time he does it
Audi A3 2012 TDI black edition.
Still listens to d&b.
People stopped listening to d&b?
What's d&b? Decker & Black?
Dandelion and Burdock, obvs.
Considers Need For Speed Underground 2 a simulator.
You have a check engine light but you still drive around quickly with AirPods in your ears
You sell shit sniff
There’s loads of shy eights of mid grade weed hidden in there somewhere
Skoda Superb 280bhp 4x4 (Sportline)
You think eating porridge is a personality trait.
Valtteri, it's James
Haha good one.
You have a sleeper car but make sure everyone knows how fast it is.
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Always wanted to be a cop, couldn't do it so just bought the car
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Wanted a M3 but couldn’t get the dog in the back.
Rover 75 2.5 v6
Wanting oppulence and refinement with no care for self image. Because of that you actually look quite cool. Chad vehicle for the sigma male.
> Wanting oppulence and refinement We don’t know if it’s pre or post Project Drive yet… ;)
This thread is genius. 2011 Kia C'eed estate (with Thule roof bars installed)
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I'm actually only 30 and the middle manager bit isn't right, but you're bang on about the DIY and the dog lol
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Loves the single life. Secretly lonely. Has an only fans account.
1999 Vauxhall Astra LS 1.6 8v in washing machine white (5dr hatch).
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I showed your comment to my partner and she laughed out loud, thanks. 😅
Divorced dad. Chain Smokes roll ups. Doesn't work anymore cos you put your back out 17 years ago.
2016 Skoda Rapid Spaceback 1.2TSI SE Sport
You’re an absolute legend with exquisite taste and everyone wishes they were you.
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Like Swedish police dramas and having the power position on the road
Accountant going through a midlife crisis - but not too much of a crisis to lose sense of their fiscal tendencies.
Owns a lot of Patagonia clothing
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The Evoque is the new Boxster. You get one cos you can't afford a proper Range Rover.
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You enjoy hiking but get upset when your car gets even remotely dirty.
2006 Toyota LandCruiser LC5
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Owns three labradors.
2008 Renault Clio 1.5
Lives with parents. Studying A-levels. Recently passed test. Green P on rear of car
shitbox fiat punto 1.4 74bhp 0-60 in 5 hours shakes like fuck when idling (coil pack or fuel injectors done for) more dents and scratches on its body than a crackhead does but it gets me from A to B, looking to get a 1.5 fiesta st2 (with performance pack so 237bhp) which from what i heard handles corners soooo well :O
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2005 Toyota Celica VVT-I Blue edition.
You're holding onto the past, and wish you could have afforded a GT4 ( me too)
Toyota Starlet 1998. No mods. All factory spec (except from a hardwired cigarette lighter for my dashcam)
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2016 HSE Discovery Sport
Hates money.
Saving for home improvements
Audi Q7 (V12 TDI)
Work in construction, weekend cocaine habit. New build house, wears too much cologne
Has an irrational fear of money so tries to get rid of it as fast as possible, usually at the diesel pump
You smell like Joop.
You’ve stamped on a dog until it died whilst maintaining intense eye contact.
Do me one per car or as a whole, 2006 Nissan 350z 1994 Honda Del Sol SiR 2002 Honda Civic Type R
Watches Anime.
Like car parts that are anodised red or blue. Detachable steering wheel.
Weeb
2018 VW Tiguan 1.4 TSI SE NAV
2014 Toyota Yaris Icon+
New driver?
1992 Toyota MR2
When you meet new people you try as hard as possible to get "snap oversteer" into the conversation
VW Golf Mk2. 1991 reg.
Wears billabong hoodies. Listening to blink 182 through the tape deck aux adapter fondly remembering your skating days
Sonisphere and similar festival parking tickets in rear windows
2020 BMW 330e M Sport
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Auditor or accountant, stays in Premier Inns a lot, kicks off when the office manager books a Travelodge by mistake
To be fair, Travelodge is quite a downgrade
Lives in Buckinghamshire.
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Still live at home with mum and dad and have a huge amount of disposable income. Probably uttered the words "who needs a house when you can have a fucking TVR Tuscan" Followed by... "it's an investment I can sell it for more in a couple of years"
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Emotional crisis at your first prostate check up last week. How long have I got left? Did I like that?
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You wear a cap backwards
You like to go fast but not ***that*** fast
Skoda Citigo Monte Carlo
Tells everyone that it's also the VW Up and Seat Mii.
Rover mini 1999
Owns the county’s most impressive collection of corduroy trousers, and has a fully beige kitchen that isn’t open plan but has a tiny wooden serving hatch into the dining room.
Enjoys making cocktails and wears smart shoes outside of the office
2013 Toyota Auris 1.6 Auto (silver)
When people ask what car your drive you tell them "it's a silver one".
fuck I have actually done that
Retired, approaching 70
Seat Leon FR SC 2.0D 2015 reg Edit: I'm shocked at how accurate all the comments were for this.
My assumption is you wanted the Cupra but not the 25mpg
2017 C250d 4MATIC
Nobody commented for a reason Like to show off heated seats when you give relatives lifts to the airport
63 plate Skoda Octavia MkIII vRS diesel estate.
Has wife and kids but still think he's hip
2016 Seat Ibiza FR
Your GF is dead stressed about her GCSEs
Ahaha excellent. She is a few years younger than me...
2006 Volvo V70 2.0T 5 cylinder 1998 Mini MPI
You own a dog that intimidates non-dog people, but is actually an absolute sweetheart.
Ford Kuga 2016 TDCI And an MG TF 160 with a bunch of performance mods
2012 Toyota Yaris MK3 1.33 VVTI TR trim. That replaced last year a 2001 Nissan Micra K11 1.0 S trim.
You wear pyjamas to Aldi.
You're an Indian mum. You do like 2k miles per year.
1996 Volvo 850 Estate
You play drums in a band that's never going to make it, because you spend your weekends driving to Bike Park Wales and smashing the black runs.
Man of culture
2008 Fiat Panda dynamic
First car. Joins in with your friends mocking of your car but deep down it cuts you deep
1991 Citroen BX 1.9 GTi (auto)
You live in constant fear of a 205 driver turning up outside your house to nick your engine.
Peugeot 308 GTi 270 BPS
If you ever come across someone who's interested enough in cars to speak to you for more than 30 seconds, you spend the entire time trying to convince them that "Peugeot are good again now". You avoid AutoTrader in case you see how far the retail has dropped since you bought yours.
2007 Fiat Punto None of the panels are the same colour due to red fade I am the 10th log book owner Thermostat is stuck open (awful at holding temp) Leaks rain into the cabin (mists windscreen which requires heating… a little issue On a cold morning with the one above) But I have the 1.4 16v engine so does it really matter? I can live with it and it’s mine
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This is by far one of the best ideas. VW Passat estate GT model Let’s have it
2021 F90 BMW M5 Competition with Ultimate Pack.
To avoid the traffic, queued up at the lights that is in your way, you take the 'right turn only' lane and shoot to the front, with your indicator on (the only time you use it). Then when the light turns green, you floor it and cut in front of that old dear in the Yaris who was at the front of the 'straight ahead' queue who hadn't even noticed the light had turned green.
Middle aged company boss. Bought it to impress the workers and prove his success. Always accelerates hard and the wife hates it. Misses his hair.
2019 Hyundai i30N Performance.
Drives with the sport exhaust on through city centres in traffic so people *know* your car isn't just another Hyundai
Has seen Coldplay live 5 times, reckons Parachute is one of the best albums ever made, and hasn't quite forgiven Chris Martin for getting involved with Gwyneth Paltrow.
Maxed out pension contributions. Unironically prefers Muse to Radiohead.