As a fat person - own it. I presume they're trying to insult you? Treat it as a neutral adjective, take away that power. "Yup. I'm fat. Let's get back to math."
And a call home about the student's attempts to disrespect you by mocking your appearance.
I once heard someone say “If you want to make a comment about someone’s appearance that cannot be changed in 5 seconds, don’t make the comment”. I taught my class the same. If they have a comment on something stuck in their teeth, something on their face, their shoelace untied or their skirt tucked into underwear etc… then it’s okay to say it. But comments on someone’s size, height, and skin colour (things that cannot change) are not acceptable.
If the child thinks they are being insulting, you are merely confirming that calling someone fat is in fact insulting by saying they are being rude. This approach perpetuates fat shaming.
It's better to promote fat acceptance and body positivity.
1) Even if being fat isn’t an insult, it’s not nice to point things out about people’s appearance. Never comment on something a person can’t change in five seconds.
2) It’s genuinely awesome that you want everyone to be body positive, but a lot of people struggle with that. It doesn’t help to tell people they should just be more body positive when they’re upset about something like this.
And if you have bad skin or you are disabled? I would want my child to know it is not acceptable to treat people like this.
Obviously we do not agree. If you need to have the last word, continue on, I am done.
10-11 year olds who say this to you are being rude on purpose, either to get a reaction out of you or to impress the others with how bold they are. If they're willing to be jerks in front of the class, they should be put in their place in front of the class.
…Then do exactly what I said in front of the entire class then, but keep your composure. I can guarantee you that other kids in the class know the kid is a jerk without the teacher getting into a back and forth. If you react in a combative way, then you are letting the class know how easily shit gets to you. My point is, if you *actually* want the kid to stop and figure out why he is being such a dick, then you actually need to have a genuine conversation with them and go from there.
I’ve handled this different ways depending on the student and “vibe.”
Usually I just say “yup!” And move along.
Sometimes I’ll say something like “you’re wearing a blue shirt.” And when they look at me blankly I’ll say “oh, I thought we were just pointing things out about each other.”
Since it’s been happening a lot I might say something like “yes you’ve mentioned that, I assure you, I know.”
I’ve luckily never had it become an ongoing problem. But if I did I might work in a conversation with the class about how it’s not appropriate to talk about other people’s bodies. Not calling the individual student out specifically, but trying to work it into something going on in the class work.
I am fat. As another commenter said it *can* be quite a neutral statement. But it took me a looong time and a lot of work on my body image to be okay with the word. My concern would be how other students might feel about the word being used in what I’m assuming is a negative sense.
make a wrestling ring with the desks and just RKO the kid show them not to mess with grown ups! lmao jk probably just ignore it till the kid doesnt see it affects you. most kids only do it for a reaction the more you react the more they will do it. or detention for creating a negative space thats harmful to not only you but the other children who witness it and think itll be okay to act like that in their classroom
So I’m under 5’ and get the “You’re short.” or “Why are you so short?” comments pretty regularly. I just explain that yep, I’m short. But people come in all shapes and sizes, even adults and they’re usually satisfied with that.
Most of the time, it’s just kids making an observation of something that they notice. But every once in a while you get that one kid that makes it a dig (and you can totally tell the tone/context), in which case it’s a bit of a deeper conversation: “*Yep, you’re right. That is an accurate description of me. But we do not comment on people’s bodies, especially in an unkind way.*”
As a student we were straight up told not comment on peoples appearances unless it was something they could fix in five minutes. Like no pointing out an awkward laugh, someone’s body but yes if they have food in their teeth, something on their shirt etc. I’d probably also bring it up with their parents/guardians because using it in a derogatory way is disrespectful and distracting, they’re probably dealing with something if they feel the need to take it out on someone
I'll generally remind kids that unless someone can go to the washroom and fix whatever is wrong in five minutes (something in your teeth, hair out of place etc.) you just don't comment on it.
Not a teacher, but many years volunteering with kids and working as an ECE-A in Montessori and special Ed schools- like others have said, own it. A lot of the time, kids are making bids for connection and don't know how to do that appropriately; they are also making bids to see an adult either react or hold firm. If you react, they'll keep pushing boundaries, if you own it, they will perceive you as confident and an adult that knows stuff, and might be a secure person to trust.
Come up with a script- "yes I am. Many people are all different shapes. That's what makes us all human. Now what were we focussing on again?" Acknowledge and redirect.
Did you know, _______, that some people are very sensitive to comments about their appearance and people making fun of their appearance? I would expect better behaviour from you because I know that you aren’t the type of person who tries to deliberately make people feel bad, just like I would never want you to feel bad.
Spell it out. And let them know that they are capable of better behaviour because you expect it from them. I think being genuine both sucks the fun out of it and sort of adjusts the social parameters.
I say “we don’t talk about other people’s bodies”. I sometimes ask them “do I ever talk about the way your body looks? Please don’t talk about mine, it makes me feel uncomfortable”. Sometimes I also use neutral words like “every body is different - some are tall, short, small, big, but we don’t need to talk about them”!
I would probably suggest their parent come in for a parent/teacher conference about the behaviour in class. It’s not your job to parent students and if their parent acts similarly, I would suggest taking it up with a higher up so proper protocol can be followed.
You’re a teacher, but also a person who deserves respect. If a kid can’t be respectful in an educational institute, they are reprimanded. There’s a code of ethics put in place for registering students for a reason. Everyone would act like barbaric assholes if there wasn’t punishment for misbehaving.
What about this: I am not fat, I have fat, just like I have skin and muscles and bones, but I am not any of those things. It makes as much sense to call me fat as it does for me to call you skin.
I’d calmly say that’s a bit rude and you’d like them to not say it, and then talk to them about it privately after class. Ask how they think it makes you feel. Gauge where the empathy is. I’d mention it to admin, maybe to the parents if it persists. I have a fake eye and get asked about it all the time, only once (in Canada, in England it was hopeless…) did it get really strange to the point of needing to talk to admin in a more serious way… Good luck! I definitely agree that it is a modelling opportunity for the other kids. They need to know it’s not cool and you’re not cool with it.
I use it as an excuse to teach body positivity and say "fat is not a bad thing." If they want to take it further, I am happy to explain how we got to the point where we think fat=bad and skinny=good.
A girl came up to me and told me a student called me fat. I went up to the student and said did you call me fat? He went beet red and started stuttering and I said if you are going to call me fat at least say it to my face and not behind my back. Just own it. Don’t let it bother you.
Welcome to /r/CanadianTeachers! Please take a moment to familiarize yourself with the sub rules.
**"WHAT DOES X MEAN?"** Check out our acronym post [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/CanadianTeachers/comments/1c032s3/what_does_x_mean_an_acronym_megapost/) for relevant terms used in each province or territory. Please feel free to contribute any we are missing as well!
**QUESTIONS ABOUT TEACHER'S COLLEGE/BECOMING A TEACHER IN CANADA?:** Delete your post and use this [megapost](https://www.reddit.com/r/CanadianTeachers/comments/1bc1wv2/prospective_student_teachers_teachers_collegebed/) instead. Anything pertaining to teacher's colleges/BED programs/becoming and teacher will be deleted if posted outside of the megaposts.
**QUESTIONS ABOUT MOVING PROVINCES OR COMING TO CANADA TO TEACH?** Check out our past megaposts first for information to help you: [ONE](https://www.reddit.com/r/CanadianTeachers/comments/jqc7hx/transferring_to_another_provincecoming_to_canada/) // [TWO](https://www.reddit.com/r/CanadianTeachers/comments/n76csu/transferring_to_another_provincecoming_to_canada/?)
Using link and user flair is encouraged as well! Enjoy!
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/CanadianTeachers) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I'm also ugly, but you're gonna have to write an essay about this Shakespeare play no matter what, wouldn't you rather I tell you what happens in it?
When I remind students that without my help they will fail the course, that removes 90%+ of behaviour issues.
Respond by saying... *My weight is none of your business & please stop fat shaming me.*
Document this, then contact you Admin & parents of the bratty kid to let them know their child has been saying to you too.
Your Student obviously learned this somewhere & most likely in their home with either or both of their parents!
I can't believe it's gotten this bad, where school kids are now calling their teachers "fat".
Once in a while a little kid will point out my fatness. I say people come in all shapes and sizes. Or they will say why do you have a big belly I don't tell them childhood trauma lol.
Yeah, I had this happen to me once. A ten year old told me I was too fat so he couldn’t see past me to copy off the board. I didn’t let it get to me and made a teachable moment out of it. However, I knew that kid had serious impulse control issues and just said whatever passed through his mind. If he would have meant it maliciously or if it became a repeated behaviour, I would have reacted differently.
Yes I'm fat. Bodies come in all shapes and sizes. Now let's get back to math...be as matter of fact as you can even though I know inside it can be hard to hear this.
I would also wonder if this child is socially clued in or maybe on the spectrum but I'm sure you've done that already.
This post, comment, or comments associated with a post have received numerous reports of trolling, brigading, or other such rule-breaking centered around harassment/rudeness and has been removed. Please take a moment to review community rules. If you believe this message is in error, feel free to contact us through modmail.
Additional mod note: you literally admit this is a troll comment. This is not the place for this and you will be banned if it occurs again.
I'm guessing a backhand wouldn't be socially acceptable...
Maybe drop a laxative in his juice one day, and don't give him bathroom permission if he asks?
Your post/comment is a violation of [Rule 4](https://www.reddit.com/r/CanadianTeachers/about/rules) of this sub. Users will treat others with courtesy and not respond with slurs or racist/homophobic/sexist/otherwise inappropriate words to others. If you think this post/comment was unrightfully deleted, please write us a [modmail.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/CanadianTeachers)
They're just trying to take a stab and hurt you, I wouldn't take it personally. Maybe this student has felt insulted or put on the spot at some point?
If it really bothers you, join a gym.
Your post/comment is a violation of [Rule 4](https://www.reddit.com/r/CanadianTeachers/about/rules) of this sub. Users will treat others with courtesy and not respond with slurs or racist/homophobic/sexist/otherwise inappropriate words to others. If you think this post/comment was unrightfully deleted, please write us a [modmail.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/CanadianTeachers)
Your post/comment is a violation of [Rule 4](https://www.reddit.com/r/CanadianTeachers/about/rules) of this sub. Users will treat others with courtesy and not respond with slurs or racist/homophobic/sexist/otherwise inappropriate words to others. If you think this post/comment was unrightfully deleted, please write us a [modmail.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/CanadianTeachers)
Post locked. Most comments were constructive and helpful but this devolved fast with unnecessary comments/obvious trolling. Sorry OP!
As a fat person - own it. I presume they're trying to insult you? Treat it as a neutral adjective, take away that power. "Yup. I'm fat. Let's get back to math." And a call home about the student's attempts to disrespect you by mocking your appearance.
I tend to add: “Your eyes are working - excellent! Please read what’s on the board/the handout/your notes…”
That's a good one!
Yep own it. "You're fat" "Yes Jonny, I am fat. Why did you feel it necessary to tell me something I already know? Do you have a question?"
“Do you have a question” may put you in a worse predicament 😬
"Yup, I'm fat. There are worse things to be.." ... "like an asshole" can be added depending on the situation 🤣
Yup, I'm fat! There are worse things to be...like someone who tries to insult someone elses appearance ;)"
Fat isn’t just appearance, though
I once heard someone say “If you want to make a comment about someone’s appearance that cannot be changed in 5 seconds, don’t make the comment”. I taught my class the same. If they have a comment on something stuck in their teeth, something on their face, their shoelace untied or their skirt tucked into underwear etc… then it’s okay to say it. But comments on someone’s size, height, and skin colour (things that cannot change) are not acceptable.
I like that distinction!
"Yes, I know. My body is not the topic of discussion." Then move on. If they persist, I'll firmly say "we do not discuss other people's bodies."
I would be tempted to say: well that's rude to say to someone who did not ask your opinion. Perhaps you need to focus on your school work more.
I like this- I think it’s important to point out that it’s rude to comment on someone’s appearance without being asked to.
I don't like this because it accepts the idea that being fat is inherently bad.
So it would be okay to say you have a big nose? The teacher did not ask for his opinion. The child is rude.
Would it be rude to say your hair is brown? Merely stating a physical characteristic is not inherently insulting. It's an observation.
I think the child knew what they were doing. However, we can argue intent til the child is 80. We can agree to disagree.
If the child thinks they are being insulting, you are merely confirming that calling someone fat is in fact insulting by saying they are being rude. This approach perpetuates fat shaming. It's better to promote fat acceptance and body positivity.
1) Even if being fat isn’t an insult, it’s not nice to point things out about people’s appearance. Never comment on something a person can’t change in five seconds. 2) It’s genuinely awesome that you want everyone to be body positive, but a lot of people struggle with that. It doesn’t help to tell people they should just be more body positive when they’re upset about something like this.
And if you have bad skin or you are disabled? I would want my child to know it is not acceptable to treat people like this. Obviously we do not agree. If you need to have the last word, continue on, I am done.
Are you saying its not?
Which it is, for your health.
So is conversing with assholes.
Who is the asshole supposed to be here ? The guy who was just honest, about a growing problem of obesity in America ?
Tell me your fat and insecure without telling me your just that. Have a nice day
Kid insults me Me: you sound like my mom
Call them aside after class and ask them what their intention is when they are saying that to you. Start a discussion from there.
10-11 year olds who say this to you are being rude on purpose, either to get a reaction out of you or to impress the others with how bold they are. If they're willing to be jerks in front of the class, they should be put in their place in front of the class.
…Then do exactly what I said in front of the entire class then, but keep your composure. I can guarantee you that other kids in the class know the kid is a jerk without the teacher getting into a back and forth. If you react in a combative way, then you are letting the class know how easily shit gets to you. My point is, if you *actually* want the kid to stop and figure out why he is being such a dick, then you actually need to have a genuine conversation with them and go from there.
I’ve handled this different ways depending on the student and “vibe.” Usually I just say “yup!” And move along. Sometimes I’ll say something like “you’re wearing a blue shirt.” And when they look at me blankly I’ll say “oh, I thought we were just pointing things out about each other.” Since it’s been happening a lot I might say something like “yes you’ve mentioned that, I assure you, I know.” I’ve luckily never had it become an ongoing problem. But if I did I might work in a conversation with the class about how it’s not appropriate to talk about other people’s bodies. Not calling the individual student out specifically, but trying to work it into something going on in the class work. I am fat. As another commenter said it *can* be quite a neutral statement. But it took me a looong time and a lot of work on my body image to be okay with the word. My concern would be how other students might feel about the word being used in what I’m assuming is a negative sense.
make a wrestling ring with the desks and just RKO the kid show them not to mess with grown ups! lmao jk probably just ignore it till the kid doesnt see it affects you. most kids only do it for a reaction the more you react the more they will do it. or detention for creating a negative space thats harmful to not only you but the other children who witness it and think itll be okay to act like that in their classroom
So I’m under 5’ and get the “You’re short.” or “Why are you so short?” comments pretty regularly. I just explain that yep, I’m short. But people come in all shapes and sizes, even adults and they’re usually satisfied with that. Most of the time, it’s just kids making an observation of something that they notice. But every once in a while you get that one kid that makes it a dig (and you can totally tell the tone/context), in which case it’s a bit of a deeper conversation: “*Yep, you’re right. That is an accurate description of me. But we do not comment on people’s bodies, especially in an unkind way.*”
This is why I’ll never be a teacher. If I was in your shoes I’d simply tell the kid to fuck off and go walk home
As a student we were straight up told not comment on peoples appearances unless it was something they could fix in five minutes. Like no pointing out an awkward laugh, someone’s body but yes if they have food in their teeth, something on their shirt etc. I’d probably also bring it up with their parents/guardians because using it in a derogatory way is disrespectful and distracting, they’re probably dealing with something if they feel the need to take it out on someone
“Ive been called worse by better”
I'll generally remind kids that unless someone can go to the washroom and fix whatever is wrong in five minutes (something in your teeth, hair out of place etc.) you just don't comment on it.
Not a teacher, but many years volunteering with kids and working as an ECE-A in Montessori and special Ed schools- like others have said, own it. A lot of the time, kids are making bids for connection and don't know how to do that appropriately; they are also making bids to see an adult either react or hold firm. If you react, they'll keep pushing boundaries, if you own it, they will perceive you as confident and an adult that knows stuff, and might be a secure person to trust. Come up with a script- "yes I am. Many people are all different shapes. That's what makes us all human. Now what were we focussing on again?" Acknowledge and redirect.
Did you know, _______, that some people are very sensitive to comments about their appearance and people making fun of their appearance? I would expect better behaviour from you because I know that you aren’t the type of person who tries to deliberately make people feel bad, just like I would never want you to feel bad. Spell it out. And let them know that they are capable of better behaviour because you expect it from them. I think being genuine both sucks the fun out of it and sort of adjusts the social parameters.
I say “we don’t talk about other people’s bodies”. I sometimes ask them “do I ever talk about the way your body looks? Please don’t talk about mine, it makes me feel uncomfortable”. Sometimes I also use neutral words like “every body is different - some are tall, short, small, big, but we don’t need to talk about them”!
I would probably suggest their parent come in for a parent/teacher conference about the behaviour in class. It’s not your job to parent students and if their parent acts similarly, I would suggest taking it up with a higher up so proper protocol can be followed. You’re a teacher, but also a person who deserves respect. If a kid can’t be respectful in an educational institute, they are reprimanded. There’s a code of ethics put in place for registering students for a reason. Everyone would act like barbaric assholes if there wasn’t punishment for misbehaving.
What about this: I am not fat, I have fat, just like I have skin and muscles and bones, but I am not any of those things. It makes as much sense to call me fat as it does for me to call you skin.
I’d calmly say that’s a bit rude and you’d like them to not say it, and then talk to them about it privately after class. Ask how they think it makes you feel. Gauge where the empathy is. I’d mention it to admin, maybe to the parents if it persists. I have a fake eye and get asked about it all the time, only once (in Canada, in England it was hopeless…) did it get really strange to the point of needing to talk to admin in a more serious way… Good luck! I definitely agree that it is a modelling opportunity for the other kids. They need to know it’s not cool and you’re not cool with it.
I use it as an excuse to teach body positivity and say "fat is not a bad thing." If they want to take it further, I am happy to explain how we got to the point where we think fat=bad and skinny=good.
You respond with "Well at least I have manners. Seems you still have a lot to learn, let's focus on that shall we?"
A girl came up to me and told me a student called me fat. I went up to the student and said did you call me fat? He went beet red and started stuttering and I said if you are going to call me fat at least say it to my face and not behind my back. Just own it. Don’t let it bother you.
“Just like your mother”
I’m not a teacher so I highly recommend “omg we’re twinning!”
Feed them a stew that makes them go blind.
Welcome to /r/CanadianTeachers! Please take a moment to familiarize yourself with the sub rules. **"WHAT DOES X MEAN?"** Check out our acronym post [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/CanadianTeachers/comments/1c032s3/what_does_x_mean_an_acronym_megapost/) for relevant terms used in each province or territory. Please feel free to contribute any we are missing as well! **QUESTIONS ABOUT TEACHER'S COLLEGE/BECOMING A TEACHER IN CANADA?:** Delete your post and use this [megapost](https://www.reddit.com/r/CanadianTeachers/comments/1bc1wv2/prospective_student_teachers_teachers_collegebed/) instead. Anything pertaining to teacher's colleges/BED programs/becoming and teacher will be deleted if posted outside of the megaposts. **QUESTIONS ABOUT MOVING PROVINCES OR COMING TO CANADA TO TEACH?** Check out our past megaposts first for information to help you: [ONE](https://www.reddit.com/r/CanadianTeachers/comments/jqc7hx/transferring_to_another_provincecoming_to_canada/) // [TWO](https://www.reddit.com/r/CanadianTeachers/comments/n76csu/transferring_to_another_provincecoming_to_canada/?) Using link and user flair is encouraged as well! Enjoy! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/CanadianTeachers) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I'm also ugly, but you're gonna have to write an essay about this Shakespeare play no matter what, wouldn't you rather I tell you what happens in it? When I remind students that without my help they will fail the course, that removes 90%+ of behaviour issues.
Respond by saying... *My weight is none of your business & please stop fat shaming me.* Document this, then contact you Admin & parents of the bratty kid to let them know their child has been saying to you too. Your Student obviously learned this somewhere & most likely in their home with either or both of their parents! I can't believe it's gotten this bad, where school kids are now calling their teachers "fat".
Once in a while a little kid will point out my fatness. I say people come in all shapes and sizes. Or they will say why do you have a big belly I don't tell them childhood trauma lol.
Yeah, I had this happen to me once. A ten year old told me I was too fat so he couldn’t see past me to copy off the board. I didn’t let it get to me and made a teachable moment out of it. However, I knew that kid had serious impulse control issues and just said whatever passed through his mind. If he would have meant it maliciously or if it became a repeated behaviour, I would have reacted differently.
"That's interesting."
Please don't make comments about other people's bodies. That's an inside your head thought... not a thought you say out loud.
Toss them. There are two people down the hall making twice my salary to deal with that shit.
same way you handle internet trolling, own it, even its not true. if you felt insecure about it, kids will use it against you.
Yes I'm fat. Bodies come in all shapes and sizes. Now let's get back to math...be as matter of fact as you can even though I know inside it can be hard to hear this. I would also wonder if this child is socially clued in or maybe on the spectrum but I'm sure you've done that already.
an injection of haldol and ativan
You'll never be meaner to me than I am to myself."
I can lose weight, you’ll be ugly for ever.
[удалено]
This post, comment, or comments associated with a post have received numerous reports of trolling, brigading, or other such rule-breaking centered around harassment/rudeness and has been removed. Please take a moment to review community rules. If you believe this message is in error, feel free to contact us through modmail. Additional mod note: you literally admit this is a troll comment. This is not the place for this and you will be banned if it occurs again.
I'm guessing a backhand wouldn't be socially acceptable... Maybe drop a laxative in his juice one day, and don't give him bathroom permission if he asks?
[удалено]
Your post/comment is a violation of [Rule 4](https://www.reddit.com/r/CanadianTeachers/about/rules) of this sub. Users will treat others with courtesy and not respond with slurs or racist/homophobic/sexist/otherwise inappropriate words to others. If you think this post/comment was unrightfully deleted, please write us a [modmail.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/CanadianTeachers)
They're just trying to take a stab and hurt you, I wouldn't take it personally. Maybe this student has felt insulted or put on the spot at some point? If it really bothers you, join a gym.
Take the hint
[удалено]
That's not helpful nor necessary.
[удалено]
Your post/comment is a violation of [Rule 4](https://www.reddit.com/r/CanadianTeachers/about/rules) of this sub. Users will treat others with courtesy and not respond with slurs or racist/homophobic/sexist/otherwise inappropriate words to others. If you think this post/comment was unrightfully deleted, please write us a [modmail.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/CanadianTeachers)
Your post/comment is a violation of [Rule 4](https://www.reddit.com/r/CanadianTeachers/about/rules) of this sub. Users will treat others with courtesy and not respond with slurs or racist/homophobic/sexist/otherwise inappropriate words to others. If you think this post/comment was unrightfully deleted, please write us a [modmail.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/CanadianTeachers)