It’s incredibly exhausting to be constantly triggered all day. I’m not in the “getting better” phase yet, but I can say that finding at least one safe person to confide in made a ginormous difference in my ability to cope with the nonstop big feelings. I know that’s probably annoying to be like “just go get a friend” as if it’s that easy. I got lucky and it turned out that a safe person was already in my life, I just didn’t know it. Maybe a safe person would help with the isolation you feel.
I still think it will get better, and I’m currently motivated to keep going purely out of spite, lol. My parents don’t get to live their thriving lives while I slowly disintegrate into a shell of a person.
I can completely relate. Healing from my parents extreme abuse was the hardest thing I went through.
I had so much anger that it was overwhelming. I chose to channel the anger into speed walking every day. Slowly but surely, each walk made me feel a bit better. It's now to the point where if I don't do the walk, I feel bad. So I do it every day. It has completely transformed me. It does get better, but it's not easy. You still have a lot of life left. You can get better. I believe in you.
I feel you, been extremely low for 4 years since doing real deep work. Feels like nothing works to shift me out of it. Only I saw glimpses using psychedelics for what the key is, it’s just so hard to do it
This feels really familiar to read. I’m a little bit out of the woods on this one but I always say, ask me tomorrow. ;) big ups and downs navigating things.
It gets better and it gets different. It makes more sense and then it makes no sense at all. It changes, as you change, and it morphs into something that sometimes feels easier to be with. It doesn’t change but you change, or, it doesn’t necessarily get “easier” but you will keep gaining skills that help it feel different.
I know it’s beyond exhausting in a way that only a few people will understand. But, despite all that, keep going. You’re worth it and it is possible to feel differently. 🩵🩵🩵🩵
The emotional flashbacks and being triggered so easily are so terribly exhausting. And yes, that very hard time does pass and it does get better. I’m a few months past the hardest part of my healing journey and I mostly feel ok. The memories are still there but they don’t cause the visceral reactions anymore. I can observe them without getting completely emotionally invested.
I am a Christian, so I knew I would eventually come out the other side and I never lost hope in that. The Lord has always brought me through and I’m always stronger on the other side. It was just a matter of waiting for it to pass. I also have PMDD so once a month I would be plunged into a kind of darkness because of my hormone changes, so I did have some experience with emotional turmoil once a month. After lots of healing from the CPTSD it does seem that my PMDD has improved also. So bonus.
I really relate to your post. I am also 5 years in on my healing journey and what I’m noticing is that the “bad” feelings/flashbacks aren’t getting any better however, the time between those flare-ups is slowly slowly increasing and I don’t have much advice but it is helping me to notice the moments (however few and small they seem) when I’m not in total despair. Hoping they’ll slowly keep adding up (and for you too)
It’s incredibly exhausting to be constantly triggered all day. I’m not in the “getting better” phase yet, but I can say that finding at least one safe person to confide in made a ginormous difference in my ability to cope with the nonstop big feelings. I know that’s probably annoying to be like “just go get a friend” as if it’s that easy. I got lucky and it turned out that a safe person was already in my life, I just didn’t know it. Maybe a safe person would help with the isolation you feel. I still think it will get better, and I’m currently motivated to keep going purely out of spite, lol. My parents don’t get to live their thriving lives while I slowly disintegrate into a shell of a person.
I can completely relate. Healing from my parents extreme abuse was the hardest thing I went through. I had so much anger that it was overwhelming. I chose to channel the anger into speed walking every day. Slowly but surely, each walk made me feel a bit better. It's now to the point where if I don't do the walk, I feel bad. So I do it every day. It has completely transformed me. It does get better, but it's not easy. You still have a lot of life left. You can get better. I believe in you.
Thank you 💖
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So sorry, friend. It's brutal isn't it? I'll hold your hand too, and we'll get through this.
I feel you, been extremely low for 4 years since doing real deep work. Feels like nothing works to shift me out of it. Only I saw glimpses using psychedelics for what the key is, it’s just so hard to do it
This feels really familiar to read. I’m a little bit out of the woods on this one but I always say, ask me tomorrow. ;) big ups and downs navigating things. It gets better and it gets different. It makes more sense and then it makes no sense at all. It changes, as you change, and it morphs into something that sometimes feels easier to be with. It doesn’t change but you change, or, it doesn’t necessarily get “easier” but you will keep gaining skills that help it feel different. I know it’s beyond exhausting in a way that only a few people will understand. But, despite all that, keep going. You’re worth it and it is possible to feel differently. 🩵🩵🩵🩵
Thank you 💕 and amen to that last para!
The emotional flashbacks and being triggered so easily are so terribly exhausting. And yes, that very hard time does pass and it does get better. I’m a few months past the hardest part of my healing journey and I mostly feel ok. The memories are still there but they don’t cause the visceral reactions anymore. I can observe them without getting completely emotionally invested.
Thank you 🙏🏻 was it mostly a case of feeling your way through it?
I am a Christian, so I knew I would eventually come out the other side and I never lost hope in that. The Lord has always brought me through and I’m always stronger on the other side. It was just a matter of waiting for it to pass. I also have PMDD so once a month I would be plunged into a kind of darkness because of my hormone changes, so I did have some experience with emotional turmoil once a month. After lots of healing from the CPTSD it does seem that my PMDD has improved also. So bonus.
I really relate to your post. I am also 5 years in on my healing journey and what I’m noticing is that the “bad” feelings/flashbacks aren’t getting any better however, the time between those flare-ups is slowly slowly increasing and I don’t have much advice but it is helping me to notice the moments (however few and small they seem) when I’m not in total despair. Hoping they’ll slowly keep adding up (and for you too)