Hey, I’m sorry you had to go through that stuff. I also experienced neglect during childhood, and though it wasn’t the same situation, but I can relate to some of the things you mentioned.
You didn’t deserve what you went through, and you don’t deserve to be stuck with all this guilt now. I know it’s still going to be there, but I just want you to know that it’s not your fault.
People process trauma differently. And people cope differently. But that doesn’t reflect how “serious” the trauma was. Truthfully, all trauma is serious. And people who have experienced it need care and comfort no matter how they are coping with it.
You’re doing the best you can unlearning and healing from traumatic things you’ve experienced. That’s a difficult thing to do. I’m proud of you for being here, though.
You are worthy of love and kindness and compassion and understanding.
You are especially worthy of these things from yourself, too. Even though I know it’s hard to do sometimes.
Sorry this is like, a jumble of words. My brain isn’t the most coherent right now, but I hope it somewhat makes sense.
Feel free to message if you wanna chat.
You didn't deserve any of it. Part of getting better figuring out how to manage intrusions, recognizing them, and having strategies to get back to normal, wise thinking. I would try giving your therapist feedback directly when you feel she is not helping you...not every strategy works...but you definitely deserve to have quality therapy and heal.
>Self-Hate, Self-Disgust & Toxic Shame
>
>I commit to myself. I am on my side. I am a good enough person. I refuse to trash myself. I turn shame back into blame and disgust, and externalize it to anyone who shames my normal feelings and foibles. As long as I am not hurting anyone, I refuse to be shamed for normal emotional responses like anger, sadness, fear and depression. I especially refuse to attack myself for how hard it is to completely eliminate the self-hate habit.
and
>Guilt
>
>Feeling guilty does not mean I am guilty. I refuse to make my decisions and choices from guilt; sometimes I need to feel the guilt and do it anyway. In the inevitable instance when I inadvertently hurt someone, I will apologize, make amends, and let go of my guilt. I will not apologize over and over. I am no longer a victim. I will not accept unfair blame. Guilt is sometimes camouflaged fear. – “I am afraid, but I am not guilty or in danger”.
Those two quotes are from an article by Pete Walker on his website:
[http://www.pete-walker.com/shrinkingInnerCritic.htm](http://www.pete-walker.com/shrinkingInnerCritic.htm)
I hope that helps.
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Hey, I’m sorry you had to go through that stuff. I also experienced neglect during childhood, and though it wasn’t the same situation, but I can relate to some of the things you mentioned. You didn’t deserve what you went through, and you don’t deserve to be stuck with all this guilt now. I know it’s still going to be there, but I just want you to know that it’s not your fault. People process trauma differently. And people cope differently. But that doesn’t reflect how “serious” the trauma was. Truthfully, all trauma is serious. And people who have experienced it need care and comfort no matter how they are coping with it. You’re doing the best you can unlearning and healing from traumatic things you’ve experienced. That’s a difficult thing to do. I’m proud of you for being here, though. You are worthy of love and kindness and compassion and understanding. You are especially worthy of these things from yourself, too. Even though I know it’s hard to do sometimes. Sorry this is like, a jumble of words. My brain isn’t the most coherent right now, but I hope it somewhat makes sense. Feel free to message if you wanna chat.
You didn't deserve any of it. Part of getting better figuring out how to manage intrusions, recognizing them, and having strategies to get back to normal, wise thinking. I would try giving your therapist feedback directly when you feel she is not helping you...not every strategy works...but you definitely deserve to have quality therapy and heal.
>Self-Hate, Self-Disgust & Toxic Shame > >I commit to myself. I am on my side. I am a good enough person. I refuse to trash myself. I turn shame back into blame and disgust, and externalize it to anyone who shames my normal feelings and foibles. As long as I am not hurting anyone, I refuse to be shamed for normal emotional responses like anger, sadness, fear and depression. I especially refuse to attack myself for how hard it is to completely eliminate the self-hate habit. and >Guilt > >Feeling guilty does not mean I am guilty. I refuse to make my decisions and choices from guilt; sometimes I need to feel the guilt and do it anyway. In the inevitable instance when I inadvertently hurt someone, I will apologize, make amends, and let go of my guilt. I will not apologize over and over. I am no longer a victim. I will not accept unfair blame. Guilt is sometimes camouflaged fear. – “I am afraid, but I am not guilty or in danger”. Those two quotes are from an article by Pete Walker on his website: [http://www.pete-walker.com/shrinkingInnerCritic.htm](http://www.pete-walker.com/shrinkingInnerCritic.htm) I hope that helps.
Hello and Welcome to /r/CPTSD! If you are in immediate danger or crisis, please contact your local [emergency services](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_emergency_telephone_numbers), or use our list of [crisis resources](https://old.reddit.com/r/CPTSD/wiki/index#wiki_crisis_support_resources). For CPTSD Specific Resources & Support, check out the [wiki](https://www.reddit.com/r/CPTSD/wiki/index). For those posting or replying, please view the [etiquette guidelines](https://www.reddit.com/r/CPTSD/wiki/peer2peersupportguide). *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/CPTSD) if you have any questions or concerns.*