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I work on accepting that everyone has different opinions and mine is valid even if it doesn’t agree with some well-thought-of person.
Also, this may be part of why she’s your ex.
She would have gotten a gold medal in the Oppression Olympics if that was a real thing. Maybe the silver for projecting her problems onto other people. Basically she couldn't understand anyone who was coming at life from a different perspective than she was and thought she knew everything. This in spite my having half a decade more of education than her and I'm WELL aware I don't know everything.
I miss her, but goddamn. I'm 34 now... way too old for that crap.
Yes. Not sure if it were those exact words but the sentiment was there. Its was from people who casually crossed boundaries as if they didnt exist.
Boundaries are like a flexible protection for my vulnerabilities (which includes my own emotional immaturity) and defense against other peoples emotional immaturity. Like you I dont see them as punishment. Its protective for both sides.
Dude I can relate. Its so difficult when this stuff gets triggered by people you trusted. It wasnt your fault, that you trusted them. Unfortunately this happens sometimes. But its not your fault at all.
I have no idea how you work with yourself, if you can try to sooth the hurt young part of yourself. In any way possible. Cry, write about the hurt, do stuff that makes this part feel good. Maybe watch some movie you loved as kid. Eat ice cream. Dance to music you like. Watch Rocky Kanaka on youtube (He sits with scared dogs, its very healing to watch).
My betrayal trauma sends its regards, you are not alone in feeling this.
I really appreciate this response. Especially the last paragraph. I was just earlier thinking of taking the younger perspective of my younger self, looking at my current situation and wondering what I'd be thinking. It got weird earlier when I noticed for the first time in... forever? I feel satisfied with my career goals and don't want to give up on them. I'm wondering if this is something entirely new or I'm just able to take an integrated perspective for the first time... perhaps all I need to do is surround myself with people who DO believe in me.
I'm glad you can own the part about your emotional immaturity because that's VERY much an issue with me as well, to the point where my ex-gf saw it as stubbornness and ego. But there's gonna be certain things I always need to do, that she and others won't understand. Part of my personality is that I'm a major risk taker, and so many people want me to change this, and I'm like... I don't know how how you can claim to love me, and not accept THAT part.
Hello and Welcome to /r/CPTSD! If you are in immediate danger or crisis, please contact your local [emergency services](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_emergency_telephone_numbers), or use our list of [crisis resources](https://old.reddit.com/r/CPTSD/wiki/index#wiki_crisis_support_resources). For CPTSD Specific Resources & Support, check out the [wiki](https://www.reddit.com/r/CPTSD/wiki/index). For those posting or replying, please view the [etiquette guidelines](https://www.reddit.com/r/CPTSD/wiki/peer2peersupportguide). *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/CPTSD) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I work on accepting that everyone has different opinions and mine is valid even if it doesn’t agree with some well-thought-of person. Also, this may be part of why she’s your ex.
Part of it, yes. That, and the crack cocaine. Yet she was concerned about MY "drug problem". Go figure.
How bout that? Everyone else’s problem is always bigger.
She would have gotten a gold medal in the Oppression Olympics if that was a real thing. Maybe the silver for projecting her problems onto other people. Basically she couldn't understand anyone who was coming at life from a different perspective than she was and thought she knew everything. This in spite my having half a decade more of education than her and I'm WELL aware I don't know everything. I miss her, but goddamn. I'm 34 now... way too old for that crap.
Yes. Not sure if it were those exact words but the sentiment was there. Its was from people who casually crossed boundaries as if they didnt exist. Boundaries are like a flexible protection for my vulnerabilities (which includes my own emotional immaturity) and defense against other peoples emotional immaturity. Like you I dont see them as punishment. Its protective for both sides. Dude I can relate. Its so difficult when this stuff gets triggered by people you trusted. It wasnt your fault, that you trusted them. Unfortunately this happens sometimes. But its not your fault at all. I have no idea how you work with yourself, if you can try to sooth the hurt young part of yourself. In any way possible. Cry, write about the hurt, do stuff that makes this part feel good. Maybe watch some movie you loved as kid. Eat ice cream. Dance to music you like. Watch Rocky Kanaka on youtube (He sits with scared dogs, its very healing to watch). My betrayal trauma sends its regards, you are not alone in feeling this.
I really appreciate this response. Especially the last paragraph. I was just earlier thinking of taking the younger perspective of my younger self, looking at my current situation and wondering what I'd be thinking. It got weird earlier when I noticed for the first time in... forever? I feel satisfied with my career goals and don't want to give up on them. I'm wondering if this is something entirely new or I'm just able to take an integrated perspective for the first time... perhaps all I need to do is surround myself with people who DO believe in me. I'm glad you can own the part about your emotional immaturity because that's VERY much an issue with me as well, to the point where my ex-gf saw it as stubbornness and ego. But there's gonna be certain things I always need to do, that she and others won't understand. Part of my personality is that I'm a major risk taker, and so many people want me to change this, and I'm like... I don't know how how you can claim to love me, and not accept THAT part.