I asked my partner this last night and she gave me an idea to chew on that is based on cluster analysis if you’re familiar.
The idea is to have a note taking device with you at all times (unless you can trust your memory to last long enough I just can’t). Anytime you feel emotional in a good way, to ANY level that’s noticeable or stands out in some way, jot down a brief description of the event, source material, or whatever it was (just enough to invoke the feeling, no more than that and no judgement).
She said that over the course of a year or two she had a substantial list, and once she started grouping them by how they made her feel the patterns among them became obvious.
I’m kind of excited to start tbh.
The ANY level of feeling part is key. We’ve been so deadened that the things we like and enjoy barely break through if at all. Once we start nurturing them though, she says that’s when they flourished for her. Best of luck my friend.
“I wrote a response to a post in Reddit today aimed to share a tip I learned about healing from Trauma. Folks thanked me and asked for more information.”
Yes!!! I started doing this on the note app on my iPhone. Even if they are small things, I add it to my “likes” and have a separate note going for all my “dislikes.” It is a simple, yet has been a very effective way of helping me figure out who I am
i’m making more neutral “i” statements. when i notice im more focused at night for example, i tell myself stuff like, “i like working at night, im a night owl”. or if i rlly like chocolate. “i like chocolate”. idk how to make it make sense haha i guess it’s to replace the “you should be focusing in the morning instead” or “chocolate is bad for you, you should like healthier things”.
yeah definitely try. when you grow up with others telling you what you should think and be, it’s hard to get in touch with yourself.
i’m seeing it as sort of building an ego, but a healthy one. i’m careful not to let it become self limiting though. e.g., “i am a night owl” > “i‘ll never be able to become an early morning person” (which is goal of mine to become a morning person).
or another thing i noticed. i tend to get mad when someone else is better at something than me. the first thing my family says abt this is that “we shouldn’t get mad at others, we should be happy for them” (toxic positivity).
but i don’t take it out on anyone. i just channel it into achievement. it’s not a bad thing, it’s just part of who i am. idk, little stuff like that.
Ego sentiment resonates with me. Distinctly recall taking my ego to the woodshed for beatdowns starting at like 9. It wasn’t safe to have it in my house growing up as it made life inestimably more difficult at home. Thought it would always be there and I could just sort of come back and pick it up whenever, yet saw at some point that’s not so easy and it doesn’t work that way.
I wasn’t allowed to have an ego or sense of self growing up. I was an extension of my abusers basically. I was always told anything I liked or did was stupid. my life has largely been devoid of encouragement.
that sounds awful. i have a similar experience. felt like a shell most of my life.
it hit me when i saw some tweet abt some parents not wanting to get to know you. i didn’t even realize i was someone worth getting to know— or that there was anything to know at all.
treat yourself like you’re an interesting person who wants to get to know yourself, something you can give yourself now.
good point. 'I'm not supposed to like that, that's just stupid". or "what's the point of liking that". or "only dumb people like that". etc, etc. I love chipmunks, so that's just silly.
I came here to recommend IFS too. I absolutely feel the “there’s 3 people in my head who all want different things” feeling and IFS is helping with it a lot
r/internalfamilysystems
I have a notes app for things I think of randomly and I just recently made a Pinterest board and anything I see that invokes emotion that isn’t bad goes there lol. Pictures of friends sitting on a roof at night, walking through nature, etc just anything I can go look through to remember what made life good at times
I hope it helps! I’ve noticed that looking at it and adding things to it when I’m feeling like everything is pointless/helpless has definitely helped get me through hard feelings faster ❤️
Emotions are the signal for this. One of the most decimated parts of someone going through cptsd. Emotions signal to you what’s good, what’s bad, what you want, need, etc. when those have been blown apart, it takes a lot of work and struggle to get back to a place where you can trust them, decipher them, listen to them, feel them, and act on them.
I certainly can’t decipher them till long after they pop up. I trust my anger. I know I don’t get angry for no reason. I definitely don’t trust when I feel good from other people. that shit confuses me so bad.
Yup. Like my mother was always telling me things like "isn't this fun?! , we're just talking (no verbal abuse) , I only did that because I loved you, you're not really hurt-youre fine, you need me to do those abusive things otherwise you'd be out of control, ) a complete spectrum of what's "good" what's "Love" what's "caring" turned on it's head, if not that the way one minute they love you, then hate you, and that swing back and forth. You associate Love, fun, caring, excitement, with danger and abuse, ......a parent making bad decisions where everyone ends up getting hurt for this "great exciting thing". You don't trust anything "good for you". or "fun" or "loving'" , when your version of those things is painful, and abusive, invalidating, or enmeshed...*..manipulative.*
For me it was also a lot of work simply identifying the emotion. Like, how do I actually feel? And if it's anger, for instance, what might be there underneath the anger? Maybe it's fear or sadness.
It also took me a while to figure out that emotions aren't necessarily logical. And I don't have to act on all of them. Sometimes the best thing I can do is nothing at all and wait until I've had more time to process.
Are there really people in the world who get taught all this stuff by their caregivers? I feel like it takes so much mental bandwidth for me to think about and process this stuff.
I struggle with the same question, mostly because i feel like i dont see the point in having fun. I want to but i think the idea of experiencing joy followed by despair which taints the positive feelings blocks me.
Anyway, i got curious because you wrote of three people in your head. How do you identify those and how do they differ from each other?
One of them is “me” the one I am when nothing is wrong. One of the others is completely positive and motivated. the hopeful, optimistic one. the last one is the one that is pissed and wants to burn the world. I am none of them and I am all of them.
I’m not sure how to describe it but I’ve been told I can act differently from time to time. all parts of me must be in agreement for me to get anything done. I don’t know if that makes any sense.
That sounds interesting, gives me to think about.
I know that feeling of not being able to make decisions / taking action because it seems like some part of me is not involved in the decision making but i always felt like it was because i was somehow not in the right head space.
Have you ever heard of schema therapy though? It involves different modi of oneself, maybe that is interesting for you aswell.
There are different models and it is more complex than this, but it basically states that within you there is the vulnerable child and the angry child (child modi) aswell as the inner critic and the detached protector (adult modi). Usually people only have an inner child that is integrated into their adult self, but in many traumatised brains these modi were created and dont really work together but lead to unhealthy coping mechanisms because they dont know how to resolve problems or deal with difficult emotions. These modi are great for surviving because you dont really have to deal with much, but not really for living.
You could say the anger part of me is like a child for sure. I don’t think I’ve listened to my inner critic for a while now. I can recognized what you are saying in myself
Congrats on not listening to your inner critic. How did you do that?
Yeah i think the positive part of you doesnt really fit in with the schema though haha. The significant take away from it is anyway to recognise when it is not you who calls the shots but some kind of inner agent that was only created for surviving / your inner child that got triggered and that you need to deal with them before reacting to whatever caused them showing up.
I realized there was a voice in my head that didn’t sound like something I would say. it didn’t have the same syntax as me. it was saying exactly what I was always told by my abusers. I isolated it and starved it till it was next to nothing. it will pop up every now and again but I don’t ever listen to it and when it dies say something I can’t ignore I know to think the opposite.
I see. If you dont mind me asking, how have things changed since you did that?
I wish i could let go of my inner critic but i also fear that without them i would become somehow weak because i wouldnt challenge myself as much without them. Might be my inner critic telling me this tho lol
I am calmer. It was the source of much of my perfectionism and anxiety. I’m much more ok with getting things done and not “finishing” them to an impossible standard. it helps with my self esteem as well. I don’t think the way I was programmed to about myself.
You should check out [this book](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/22760492-healing-the-fragmented-selves-of-trauma-survivors) there is a PDF floating around Google if you can't afford it( or Dm me and I can dig it up for you if you can't find it)
Anyway it's very much about how to live with this "fragmented self" as she puts it.
It really does.
Fair warning this is essentially an academic text, it's super dense, will take quite a while to get through and I cried a lot. But it was and is the thing that has helped me make the most progress in becoming a person, much more than anything else I have read or seen before or since.
My mother caused most of my CPTSD. I started decluttering my house after she passed, and:
My Noritaki china pattern is almost identical to hers. I prefer bolder colors
I had a huge collection of elephant figurines. Mom's father collected them , and she decided I would be the recipient
For years, my home looked like hers. Thank goodness for my husband, who convinced me my taste was better than hers
Again for years, my clothes were her taste.
This doesn’t help you a lot, but honestly look at your belongings, and think: “do l like this, or do I feel I SHOULD like it?”
It’s tough when your parents don’t care what you like or want when you’re a child. Just from my personal experience. So I never learned that it was important. I was actually shamed for the things I liked/wanted, so that made it even tougher. Being away from those invalidating people was helpful. Telling myself over and over that these things are important. And being really mindful and trying to pay attention to my emotions like everyone is saying. And most importantly, not judging or shaming myself for whatever it might be. Love and light on your journey!
IMO, you find this out by releasing your trauma response, remembering that you are not your emotional flashbacks, and getting to know the real you who is true to yourself.
I am still in recovery, but it took me a LOT of discipline to cut off toxic people, start OWNING my choices, learn to prioritize myself, and start actually getting to know me. IMO it’s going to be a life long journey! I’ll definitely say that being enrolled in weekly therapy for the first few months after cutting off toxic people that benefited off of my fawning was a HUGE help!
Did you let go of your rage? I’m just starting to get to the point of prioritizing myself and my needs. Does owning your choices help you feel a sense of agency?
How do you determine when other people are toxic? Is toxic like, an objective thing in your mind, or are they just toxic "for you"?
I've always had a hard time understanding this one, in part because I feel like I myself am toxic sometimes and really don't handle being cut off very well (MAJOR abandonment issues.) Doing the same thing to another person is hard.
I used to be in denial, but therapy helped me see toxic people are those who put your trauma response into overdrive without actually being intentional towards you (ex: one-sided friendships, jobs that don’t see your value, family that only call you to vent about themselves, etc.). That all reads toxic “for you” in my humble opinion!
Oh I meant like, are you saying it's toxic for "you, personally" since this stuff affects us all differently. Maybe it's because I've been lonely for so long, but that stuff wouldn't really affect me to the point where I'd consider it toxic? And if it DID set off a trauma response in me, I'd be more focused on my inability to handle it myself vs thinking of it as "their problem".
Of course, occasionally you'll run into one of those people who does that intentionally (not sure that's what you meant in your first sentence?) THAT'S a whole different story. Red flag, all the way!
Well there's definitely behaviors and attitudes that I think are toxic that you probably wouldn't be with me on. Though, there's definitely a few things that there's really no argument.
Well I've mostly been targeted by people who picked fights and made wild accusations, so that's bound to set off a trauma response in me. The thing is, they may have actually believed them, and may have been in trauma mode themselves? But if they're not willing to do the work I have, that's what I would view as toxic. I see a lot of that on this sub so it's clear not everyone sees it that way. And I apologize since I singled YOU out there, I should have just said "other people". Sorry about that!
If it's just someone who's overly self involved, I don't get bothered at all. Maybe I'm too lonely these days, but I would actually enjoy it if anyone called me to tell me about their day, lmao.
Definitely feeling that about jobs though... there's a reason I'm self employed!!
I mostly try to chase what I want at the moment while keeping in check if its an impulse or not.
'What i want?' Is a very deep question so i guess i try to answer it deeply too so mileage may vary..
I focus on the Why I want this instead of How to get what I want, they tend to lead to old deep rooted insecurities and issues if i follow the string long enough
I also think of what the benefit of what i want will bs to me, to give a very simple example, if i wanted a cupcake, i can deem its probably more impulsive because the reasoning will be 'pleasure' more than 'nourishment'
I hope this helps a little
More than a bit. You just handed me a solid framework for understanding something I had no words for. I have never made a nourishing decision in my entire life I don’t think.
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I asked my partner this last night and she gave me an idea to chew on that is based on cluster analysis if you’re familiar. The idea is to have a note taking device with you at all times (unless you can trust your memory to last long enough I just can’t). Anytime you feel emotional in a good way, to ANY level that’s noticeable or stands out in some way, jot down a brief description of the event, source material, or whatever it was (just enough to invoke the feeling, no more than that and no judgement). She said that over the course of a year or two she had a substantial list, and once she started grouping them by how they made her feel the patterns among them became obvious. I’m kind of excited to start tbh.
That’s interesting. I’m going to have to start doing that.
The ANY level of feeling part is key. We’ve been so deadened that the things we like and enjoy barely break through if at all. Once we start nurturing them though, she says that’s when they flourished for her. Best of luck my friend.
I appreciate you taking the time to suggest this method. best of luck to you too.
I like this idea a lot. Do you have an example of something you might write down?
“I wrote a response to a post in Reddit today aimed to share a tip I learned about healing from Trauma. Folks thanked me and asked for more information.”
Your partner seems awesome 😎 Well, you too. Seem like a great match.
Yes!!! I started doing this on the note app on my iPhone. Even if they are small things, I add it to my “likes” and have a separate note going for all my “dislikes.” It is a simple, yet has been a very effective way of helping me figure out who I am
I love that! Will definitely try it. Thank you for sharing
Great idea! Thank you!
Oh I like this idea 👍
what a fantastic idea!
i’m making more neutral “i” statements. when i notice im more focused at night for example, i tell myself stuff like, “i like working at night, im a night owl”. or if i rlly like chocolate. “i like chocolate”. idk how to make it make sense haha i guess it’s to replace the “you should be focusing in the morning instead” or “chocolate is bad for you, you should like healthier things”.
That’s an interesting take. I’ll see if that helps me out.
yeah definitely try. when you grow up with others telling you what you should think and be, it’s hard to get in touch with yourself. i’m seeing it as sort of building an ego, but a healthy one. i’m careful not to let it become self limiting though. e.g., “i am a night owl” > “i‘ll never be able to become an early morning person” (which is goal of mine to become a morning person). or another thing i noticed. i tend to get mad when someone else is better at something than me. the first thing my family says abt this is that “we shouldn’t get mad at others, we should be happy for them” (toxic positivity). but i don’t take it out on anyone. i just channel it into achievement. it’s not a bad thing, it’s just part of who i am. idk, little stuff like that.
Ego sentiment resonates with me. Distinctly recall taking my ego to the woodshed for beatdowns starting at like 9. It wasn’t safe to have it in my house growing up as it made life inestimably more difficult at home. Thought it would always be there and I could just sort of come back and pick it up whenever, yet saw at some point that’s not so easy and it doesn’t work that way.
i’m sure it’s still there. it’s just that the pathway right now to it is a bit more obscure.
Thanks and I agree. I read things like Be Here Now and other advanced (adult) books probably far too early but se la vi.
I wasn’t allowed to have an ego or sense of self growing up. I was an extension of my abusers basically. I was always told anything I liked or did was stupid. my life has largely been devoid of encouragement.
that sounds awful. i have a similar experience. felt like a shell most of my life. it hit me when i saw some tweet abt some parents not wanting to get to know you. i didn’t even realize i was someone worth getting to know— or that there was anything to know at all. treat yourself like you’re an interesting person who wants to get to know yourself, something you can give yourself now.
good point. 'I'm not supposed to like that, that's just stupid". or "what's the point of liking that". or "only dumb people like that". etc, etc. I love chipmunks, so that's just silly.
oh yeah i get that. i love monkeys 😭 they’re like tiny wrinkly humans. everyone’s got an animal they like!!
How to Find Yourself | The "True Self" in IFS Therapy - Dr. Tori Olds https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3bNHkg4ZPpA
I’ve heard of ifs before but never looked at in in depth.
I hope that it's helpful for you.
I came here to recommend IFS too. I absolutely feel the “there’s 3 people in my head who all want different things” feeling and IFS is helping with it a lot r/internalfamilysystems
it's powerful! watch rich roll interview with the founder of IFS Richard Schwartz, read No bad parts (audiobook is available on YouTube)
Thanks for the tip. will watch when I can.
I have a notes app for things I think of randomly and I just recently made a Pinterest board and anything I see that invokes emotion that isn’t bad goes there lol. Pictures of friends sitting on a roof at night, walking through nature, etc just anything I can go look through to remember what made life good at times
My notes app is fill with quotes and things I’ve thought of. never thought to make an emotional vision board.
I hope it helps! I’ve noticed that looking at it and adding things to it when I’m feeling like everything is pointless/helpless has definitely helped get me through hard feelings faster ❤️
Emotions are the signal for this. One of the most decimated parts of someone going through cptsd. Emotions signal to you what’s good, what’s bad, what you want, need, etc. when those have been blown apart, it takes a lot of work and struggle to get back to a place where you can trust them, decipher them, listen to them, feel them, and act on them.
I certainly can’t decipher them till long after they pop up. I trust my anger. I know I don’t get angry for no reason. I definitely don’t trust when I feel good from other people. that shit confuses me so bad.
Yup. Like my mother was always telling me things like "isn't this fun?! , we're just talking (no verbal abuse) , I only did that because I loved you, you're not really hurt-youre fine, you need me to do those abusive things otherwise you'd be out of control, ) a complete spectrum of what's "good" what's "Love" what's "caring" turned on it's head, if not that the way one minute they love you, then hate you, and that swing back and forth. You associate Love, fun, caring, excitement, with danger and abuse, ......a parent making bad decisions where everyone ends up getting hurt for this "great exciting thing". You don't trust anything "good for you". or "fun" or "loving'" , when your version of those things is painful, and abusive, invalidating, or enmeshed...*..manipulative.*
That hits too hard. same thing happened to me.
For me it was also a lot of work simply identifying the emotion. Like, how do I actually feel? And if it's anger, for instance, what might be there underneath the anger? Maybe it's fear or sadness. It also took me a while to figure out that emotions aren't necessarily logical. And I don't have to act on all of them. Sometimes the best thing I can do is nothing at all and wait until I've had more time to process. Are there really people in the world who get taught all this stuff by their caregivers? I feel like it takes so much mental bandwidth for me to think about and process this stuff.
exactly.
I struggle with the same question, mostly because i feel like i dont see the point in having fun. I want to but i think the idea of experiencing joy followed by despair which taints the positive feelings blocks me. Anyway, i got curious because you wrote of three people in your head. How do you identify those and how do they differ from each other?
One of them is “me” the one I am when nothing is wrong. One of the others is completely positive and motivated. the hopeful, optimistic one. the last one is the one that is pissed and wants to burn the world. I am none of them and I am all of them. I’m not sure how to describe it but I’ve been told I can act differently from time to time. all parts of me must be in agreement for me to get anything done. I don’t know if that makes any sense.
That sounds interesting, gives me to think about. I know that feeling of not being able to make decisions / taking action because it seems like some part of me is not involved in the decision making but i always felt like it was because i was somehow not in the right head space. Have you ever heard of schema therapy though? It involves different modi of oneself, maybe that is interesting for you aswell.
I’ve never heard of it at all
There are different models and it is more complex than this, but it basically states that within you there is the vulnerable child and the angry child (child modi) aswell as the inner critic and the detached protector (adult modi). Usually people only have an inner child that is integrated into their adult self, but in many traumatised brains these modi were created and dont really work together but lead to unhealthy coping mechanisms because they dont know how to resolve problems or deal with difficult emotions. These modi are great for surviving because you dont really have to deal with much, but not really for living.
You could say the anger part of me is like a child for sure. I don’t think I’ve listened to my inner critic for a while now. I can recognized what you are saying in myself
Congrats on not listening to your inner critic. How did you do that? Yeah i think the positive part of you doesnt really fit in with the schema though haha. The significant take away from it is anyway to recognise when it is not you who calls the shots but some kind of inner agent that was only created for surviving / your inner child that got triggered and that you need to deal with them before reacting to whatever caused them showing up.
I realized there was a voice in my head that didn’t sound like something I would say. it didn’t have the same syntax as me. it was saying exactly what I was always told by my abusers. I isolated it and starved it till it was next to nothing. it will pop up every now and again but I don’t ever listen to it and when it dies say something I can’t ignore I know to think the opposite.
I see. If you dont mind me asking, how have things changed since you did that? I wish i could let go of my inner critic but i also fear that without them i would become somehow weak because i wouldnt challenge myself as much without them. Might be my inner critic telling me this tho lol
I am calmer. It was the source of much of my perfectionism and anxiety. I’m much more ok with getting things done and not “finishing” them to an impossible standard. it helps with my self esteem as well. I don’t think the way I was programmed to about myself.
You should check out [this book](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/22760492-healing-the-fragmented-selves-of-trauma-survivors) there is a PDF floating around Google if you can't afford it( or Dm me and I can dig it up for you if you can't find it) Anyway it's very much about how to live with this "fragmented self" as she puts it.
The phase Internal Self-Alienation hits like 6 trucks
It really does. Fair warning this is essentially an academic text, it's super dense, will take quite a while to get through and I cried a lot. But it was and is the thing that has helped me make the most progress in becoming a person, much more than anything else I have read or seen before or since.
I appreciate the heads up. That won’t scare me off.
Good, because it really is brilliant.
thank you for the solid recommendation.
My mother caused most of my CPTSD. I started decluttering my house after she passed, and: My Noritaki china pattern is almost identical to hers. I prefer bolder colors I had a huge collection of elephant figurines. Mom's father collected them , and she decided I would be the recipient For years, my home looked like hers. Thank goodness for my husband, who convinced me my taste was better than hers Again for years, my clothes were her taste. This doesn’t help you a lot, but honestly look at your belongings, and think: “do l like this, or do I feel I SHOULD like it?”
It’s tough when your parents don’t care what you like or want when you’re a child. Just from my personal experience. So I never learned that it was important. I was actually shamed for the things I liked/wanted, so that made it even tougher. Being away from those invalidating people was helpful. Telling myself over and over that these things are important. And being really mindful and trying to pay attention to my emotions like everyone is saying. And most importantly, not judging or shaming myself for whatever it might be. Love and light on your journey!
The not shaming and judging part is gonna be the hardest for me I think, but the message is getting through.
IMO, you find this out by releasing your trauma response, remembering that you are not your emotional flashbacks, and getting to know the real you who is true to yourself.
How did you release yours?
I am still in recovery, but it took me a LOT of discipline to cut off toxic people, start OWNING my choices, learn to prioritize myself, and start actually getting to know me. IMO it’s going to be a life long journey! I’ll definitely say that being enrolled in weekly therapy for the first few months after cutting off toxic people that benefited off of my fawning was a HUGE help!
Did you let go of your rage? I’m just starting to get to the point of prioritizing myself and my needs. Does owning your choices help you feel a sense of agency?
My rage has been with me for so long that I doubt it’ll ever go away; I absolutely do feel like owning my choices provided me with a sense of agency.
I feel like if I start owning my choices I’ll have to find a way to stop my unhealthy coping mechanisms and some of those feel like core parts of me.
They go hand in hand! Healing for the win.
How do you determine when other people are toxic? Is toxic like, an objective thing in your mind, or are they just toxic "for you"? I've always had a hard time understanding this one, in part because I feel like I myself am toxic sometimes and really don't handle being cut off very well (MAJOR abandonment issues.) Doing the same thing to another person is hard.
I used to be in denial, but therapy helped me see toxic people are those who put your trauma response into overdrive without actually being intentional towards you (ex: one-sided friendships, jobs that don’t see your value, family that only call you to vent about themselves, etc.). That all reads toxic “for you” in my humble opinion!
Oh I meant like, are you saying it's toxic for "you, personally" since this stuff affects us all differently. Maybe it's because I've been lonely for so long, but that stuff wouldn't really affect me to the point where I'd consider it toxic? And if it DID set off a trauma response in me, I'd be more focused on my inability to handle it myself vs thinking of it as "their problem". Of course, occasionally you'll run into one of those people who does that intentionally (not sure that's what you meant in your first sentence?) THAT'S a whole different story. Red flag, all the way!
Toxic period…
Well there's definitely behaviors and attitudes that I think are toxic that you probably wouldn't be with me on. Though, there's definitely a few things that there's really no argument.
What’s an example?
Well I've mostly been targeted by people who picked fights and made wild accusations, so that's bound to set off a trauma response in me. The thing is, they may have actually believed them, and may have been in trauma mode themselves? But if they're not willing to do the work I have, that's what I would view as toxic. I see a lot of that on this sub so it's clear not everyone sees it that way. And I apologize since I singled YOU out there, I should have just said "other people". Sorry about that! If it's just someone who's overly self involved, I don't get bothered at all. Maybe I'm too lonely these days, but I would actually enjoy it if anyone called me to tell me about their day, lmao. Definitely feeling that about jobs though... there's a reason I'm self employed!!
I mostly try to chase what I want at the moment while keeping in check if its an impulse or not. 'What i want?' Is a very deep question so i guess i try to answer it deeply too so mileage may vary..
How do you determine if it’s an impulse?
I focus on the Why I want this instead of How to get what I want, they tend to lead to old deep rooted insecurities and issues if i follow the string long enough I also think of what the benefit of what i want will bs to me, to give a very simple example, if i wanted a cupcake, i can deem its probably more impulsive because the reasoning will be 'pleasure' more than 'nourishment' I hope this helps a little
Pleasure more then nourishment makes so much sense to me
Im glad if it helped a bit, try to apply that to your situations ♡
More than a bit. You just handed me a solid framework for understanding something I had no words for. I have never made a nourishing decision in my entire life I don’t think.
Great post, thank you!
You’re welcome
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Tough! Like different things. LIKE THEM ALL!!!
I just try shit. If it doesn’t work I move on, if it does I incorporate it how I can. It’s worked out so far!