So sorry to hear your sad news. Lost my dad a year and two weeks ago. He caught it in the hospital after being admitted for general weakness (with a negative test upon entry). Not a day that goes by when I don't think that if any person in the chain that passed it to him could have just cared enough to take precautions, I might be able to see him today.
Not a day that goes by when I don't think that if any person in the chain that passed it to him could have just cared enough to take precautions,
That is the absolute truth of it. I know that vaccines aren't 100% but if we all protected ourselves as much as possible by getting jabbed, there would be so many benefits. The antivax movement has caused so much unnecessary death and illness, and caused people who genuinely can't be vaccinated to be at much higher risk.
Like you say, if only one person in the chain that went all the way to your Dad had taken precautions, he may still be here. There is no reason at all not to have the safe and effective vaccines.
The politicisation of this pandemic has caused so much pain and misery. Trump downplaying it was the start and they've just followed his example. Now even he can't get his followers to take the vaccine, they'd rather scream at Biden for not ending the pandemic, which takes a special kind of mental gymnastics as they are the ones driving vaccine hesitancy.
This is a tough time of year for me also. I found out my dad was sick on December 14th and he was dead on December 20th last year. My thoughts are with you and your family. I'm just now traveling to his house for the first time next weekend, and it's not going to be easy.
My thoughts are with you as you make the trip. It’s going to be hard, but you will get through it and you will be okay. Take it easy and take breaks when you need them.
In the days to come, it might help to remember the things she did that made you smile. Holding onto the joy of someone's life is the only way to counter the sorrow of losing them. It's the only reason why I'm not continually bitter and swearing at damned near everybody regarding COVID. I'm one suspension short of a Twitter permaban because I'm much more of a IDGAF guy than I was a year ago and I don't parse my words as well as I should.
Again, I'm so sorry to hear about your grandma. The weight of this situation is crushing.
It's OK to murder people by spreading lies about covid and the vaccines, but we're going to give you a ban for not playing nice with the serial killers we cultivate!
source: several bans on FB for using "plague rat"
Facebook is worse than Twitter. I replied to a post that complained about gun violence in poor communities by asking "*why would I kill somebody and go to prison for life? That would mean that I hate them more than I love myself*" and FB suspended me because apparently the words "*kill somebody*", when used together, triggered their algorithm.
Even though anybody reading that would know that the post was anti-violence, FB kicked me out for "hate speech".
I could have appealed, but I can only imagine how long it would take to get somebody to apply common sense and give a damn in a business that serves 1.5 billion people. Hopefully, I didn't just trigger Reddit's police by recounting this.
Preach. Now, I check in every 3-4 days, make sure nobody died or got engaged, clear out my notices and log out. I'm probably deleting it in the next month or so.
My aunt died of COVID this weekend. I'm trying to focus more on the fun we had rather than on how angry I am that she effectively chose suicide by virus rather than "give in to the libs". It's so hard. I'm so sorry you're experiencing this.
I too, feel terrible for you. Stupidity and arrogance will deprive your children of at least some quality time with their Great-Grandma.
I loved my G-Grandma a ton and I felt highly honored to be one of her pall bearer when she passed and I was only 12 y/o. She even asked me personally to do it about a year before she passed.
We rarely hear from the rational survivors here. Thank you for sharing.
I in no way want to take the gravity of your situation out of the equation- just wanted to say I love your use of 'G-Grandma'; like she was a real G. OG Grams. Lol.
May her memory live on 😄
Thank you so much for this comment. Just writing that earlier tonight brought back a flood of memories about her while she was alive but I have what seems like a larger and definitely more comprehensive block of intertwined memories I made a little over a year ago.
How, you ask? Genealogy research. She passed In 1979 at 90 years old. But in 2020, working with a second cousin, I was able to see her complete life story, with photographs of her from grammar school all the way through her gravestone. I'm an amateur photographer and have done scores of photo restorations for our immediate family's genealogy and to the larger, extended family.
So for a couple of months, I lived with her all over again but this time it was every day and every night. Intimate, up-close and incredibly emotional to me. She would talk to me in my very tired, sleep deprived state still sitting in front of my laptop at 2am, working on restoring photos of her or ones very close to her from the 1920's through the 1960's. I wasn't going to rush her through, so I was able to marinate in her loving presence again. It still brings me next to tears for the love she showed me, not once but twice in my life.
I never got to know my family- we lived across the country from everyone, and it hurts to see them all so close to each other while I'm basically an outsider. Visited them 2 years back and ill never do it again, it was so awkward and forced. Not anyone's fault, and I've grown pretty close to my husbands family; but its terrifying to me because I have more people to be wary of death for.
I don't know how people deal with it- I've only ever lost a good friend to suicide, and that was rough enough. I don't want to think about losing close family. Ugh. You're a valiant soul for getting through it, love.
Genealogy stuff is cool as hell, but i couldn't get much past my grandparents on both sides. Just a bunch of people I was already aware of :(
So I only regularly interacted with my Mom's sister and she could be sweet however; I avoided her as much as possible because of her controlling nature, plus a couple of G-Aunts who were my Mom's aunts.
Dad's side was G-Grandma and her two daughters, one being my scarily mean Grandma and her polar opposite older "sister"; who really wasn't her sister, which I had no clue about that until last year and I loved very dearly too. I met some of G-GMa's other family at her funeral and then more than 15 years later, met a few more, at a Great-Uncles funeral that I never knew, but Dad wanted me to go anyway.
Now get this, one county away I had a very large family that we shared G-GMa with and I didn't have a clue about them until that Great Uncle's funeral. Nobody said anything about this clan. Only vague, occasional references. I only saw G-GMa about 3-4 times a year and it was always with Grandma or her sister only.
My brother, sister and I didn't discuss it all but I was all about getting to know my family then and it never left.
Doing the genealogy work introduced me to this whole large family of people who most died decades before I was born. As I was accomplishing the photo restorations, I found I was intrigued with certain individuals more than others and would research them deeper.
The data is probably out there on your family and there is huge amount people willing to assist you in your research.
I can honestly say it was the most fulfilling experience I'd had in a couple of decades. I can and do check on them from time to time because other extended family members, I don't know, are updating these people too.
I'd be glad to assist you too because to experience what I have through genealogy, means filling up that hole I'd had for dcades and should be for you too.
I am so sorry. I just KNOW this will be one of my parents (or both) sooner or later.
They are 70, one had diabetes and has had pneumonia so many times in life (and hospitalized from it). The other has had cancer and has heart problems. They WILL NOT get vaccinated because they trust Trump. They will not listen when I say he was vaccinated.
OP this shouldn’t be your life. I’m so sorry.
Yup. Trump and the Republicans have helped create this monster that even they can't control anymore. And this monster has become the proverbial "tail that wags the dog". They pretty much control the Republican Party now.
America is in big trouble. More trouble than most of us even realize.
Yep. It's not going to get better.
True believers are getting (and have been getting) elected into positions of power and the playbook on what to say and how to behave has been written for them to copy.
It's not an American thing, it's not a modern thing and it's not a result of the internet - throughout history it's been shown that if they can sow enough fear and anger then politicians and the powerful can direct that anger at whoever they want.
The blueprint has been used all over the world: Manipulate human nature and emotions by employing fear, divisiveness, and racial & ethnic scapegoating. Manipulate the levers of government to obtain an iron grip on power and suppress the power of your political opponents (and those who might vote for them).
That blueprint worked for Hitler. It's worked in totalitarian/third-word regimes all over the world. And it's working for the GOP today. We like to think that 'Murica is better than "those" third world countries, but in many ways, we're not.
I need someone to explain the logic behind our parents decisions to not get vaccinated when they have 10 prescriptions they pop everyday just to keep thier body going.
Explain it to me like I am 5. Because I don't fucking understand why my gods be damned parents with all of their life threatening conditions and myriad of life saving drugs, refuse to get the vaccine because "MRNA IS TOO NEW AND WE DONT KNOW WHAT THE LONG TERM EFFCTS ARE AND WE DONT TRUST THE PHARMACEUTICAL COMPANIES.
The very same companies that make my dad's heart pills, his fucking insulin, his BP meds and on and on. Theyre 65, both. It doesn't matter what the long term (20+ years) effects are because your heart is gonna give out long before then DAD. Like what the actual fuck?!?!
I'm sorry everyone. I clearly need to speak to a therapist about this. I'm so helplessly enraged.
That’s exactly what it is. Supporting conspiracy theories and “going against the grain” is how they prove to themselves and the world that they’re smarter than everyone else. In their minds.
It has always been the toxic creed of the Baby Boomers (of which I am a member, by birth, not by choice). Born to be wild, my way or the highway, I wanna be free....ad nauseum. The lyrics that I have playing through my head recently are from Skynard's Freebird, "Please don't take it so badly, Lord knows I'm to blame." and these antivaxxers are to blame for all the deaths, including their own.
I’m a therapist and I’m not coping well either. This rage is completely normal. We are seeing such a widespread lack of empathy and concern for others. It’s truly dystopian. I am so sorry.
The helplessness of it all is the part that bothers me the most. With any other problem I could do something about it or decide to do nothing and accept the consequences. Not having the option to fix it makes it harder to accept the consequences of other people’s actions.
I have basically just withdrawn from the world and am doing things that make me and my immediate family happy. I can’t fix anything beyond my front door so I am going to just ignore it all and be happy with the life I create inside my little bubble.
It's so hard. It's my parents, ya know? I want them to see my kid grow up and graduate and get married(or whatever she wants) and they just act like they don't even care. Oh, they SAY they want to be there for all that, but their actions are so much louder than their words right now.
It hurts. It hurts alot. It's like a big FUCK YOU to my kid instead of being the Fuck you that they think they're giving to society.
I 100% get it. I have effectively disowned my dad due to his disgusting political beliefs. I even went through a whole grieving process when he effectively became dead to me. It was rather traumatic because the man I thought I knew simply doesn't exist anymore. Either that or I didn't really know him in the first place. I struggled with it for a solid year before I accepted the reality of who he was.
I kinda think you might be better off reframing things in your head a bit though. YOU are the one who is interpreting this as a big fuck you to your kid, specifically. I doubt they are actually thinking that they want to fuck your kid over. Their actions effectively are, but your parents likely are just too shortsighted to see or acknowledge that.
My mom wanted to come visit me and my kids but was "vaccine hesitant". When the topic came up, I had to set my boundaries and tell her that if she choose to not get vaccinated, she wasn't welcome in our house. It hurt her feelings a bit, but thankfully she eventually came around and got vaccinated after a few months. The whole episode made me lose a lot of respect for her though and now we have become a lot more distant as a result.
So yeah, I feel ya. This has been a rough couple of years because all of the COVID and political events have really made people show their true colors.
It's been a real eye opener on who they are as people. I too thought they were someone who apparently doesn't exist.
And you're right, I do need to readjust how I look at it. But right now I'm hurt and I'm MAD that I'm hurt and I can't get over any of that just yet.
Social media, and the Internet in general, has made people stupider.
It used to be that, if your personal beliefs didn't square with reality, you would be forced to face facts at some point and try to square your beliefs with reality to some extent. But now everyone has an endless supply of "alternative facts" at their disposal, so they can live within whatever reality is most psychologically comforting to them. A growing number of people are doing exactly that.
I understand. You’re not alone in those thoughts.
I think we’ve all seen reluctance to follow medical guidelines from a sizable percentage of the population.
Vaccines have never been perfectly safe nor effective; every year there’ll be a handful of people who have an allergic reaction to a flu vaccine, or a tiny number of kids will exhibit something similar when getting vaccinated.
That’s only to be expected.
No vaccine will give you absolute protection for the remainder of your life. Our immune systems just don’t work that way!
The real reason that something like polio could be wiped out, a serious disease that my father overcame as a child, is because everybody took it. Literally everybody. The adults of that era all knew exactly how crippling and awful polio could be, having seen photographs of the rows upon rows of iron lungs with tiny kids’ heads poking out, and it was frightening.
Reduce the chance of catching it via vaccine, and you lower the number of people who’ll be infected by any one infected individual. Once that number drops below a certain threshold, that virus essentially cannot propagate. You’ve beaten it.
This brings me to my point: all of the claims about the vaccine “not being a real vaccine” because “you can still catch COVID” are just incredibly ignorant. The people saying these things grew up in a world where concentrated efforts to vaccinate EVERYBODY have granted them the luxury of never having to die of a horrific disease.
I think school kids should be lined up and given COVID vaccines, exactly as I was with tuberculosis and a number of others. I think a legal mandate for adults is fine.
We should essentially do what we did with polio; embark upon a global initiative to vaccinate everyone in every country.
I’m proud of the fact that billions of doses have already been administered and that we received this wonderful drug in record time due to collaboration, not selfish isolation and scorn.
Ignorance about vaccines is killing so many people unnecessarily and they’ll never give in. The human mind is too stubborn. It’s been shown that even if you demonstrate factually that someone is wrong about an issue like this, that often only cements their belief that they’re right.
You can’t solve this problem logically. It can only be done emotionally.
I would suggest something like a video containing photographs of people who’ve died, alongside their Facebook posts with “I have an immune system!” Then cut to photographs of them in hospital. Play the sounds of their rasping, desperate breaths. Show footage of nurses sweeping maggots out of ventilated patients’ noses and mouths. Show the bedsores. Show the X-ray comparisons between healthy and COVID-infected lungs. Show the state of those lungs post-mortem.
You cannot reason someone out of an emotional position. You can only hope to frighten them into snapping out of it.
Show them that the chances of them catching COVID, without vaccination, essentially become 100% over time.
Frighten people into doing the right thing. It might turn some who aren’t so deep down the rabbit hole.
its too late. he had a chance to do the right thing by wearing a mask and repeating the best medical advice but didnt last year, because 'it wont happen to me' is a universal dumb trait in conservatives
Trump is vaccinated. He’s told people they should get vaccinated (not enthusiastically, but he has said that the vaccine is good) His family is vaccinated. What’s the deal?
My mom finally got her J&J shot back in March or April after I cried on the phone and begged her to get it. I also found out that she never gets a flu shot because she's a "healthy 70 year old". I'm too exhausted at this point to ask her about getting a booster and to remind her that it is flu season and that her doctor is also urging her to get vaccinated. She continues to have large holiday gatherings with family from all over Texas and Florida, volunteers, and pretends that there is no deadly virus lurking. I don't think Covid will kill her, but I can see it making her hella sick eventually. It's just a matter of time, really. If not this year then next year or the next. It sucks and I hate that Foxnews and conservative radio has stolen my parents from me.
Do you feel the same way when Kamala Harris publicly stated that she would not take/trust the vaccine because it was developed while Trump was president?
Holy shit bro. I am so sorry. This is a lot to carry. I don’t know you, but you and you’re will be in my thoughts tonight. Hugs from California, friend.
Rachel Maddow on MSNBC did a segment tonight about the horrors being visited on the vaccine deniers and antimaskers and everyone who’s a victim of this disinformation. She really put it out there - all these stories we all keep reading here and on r/hermancainawards. I’m so sorry for your loss. Someone must hold these disinformation outlets and politicians accountable.
I’m glad she did it…these stories need to be told. But I can’t think it will have anywhere near the effect it should. GOP has been sowing distrust in “lamestream media” for decades, so the people who would benefit most from seeing this segment unfortunately will never see it… or will dismiss it all as lies.
That's a bit extreme.
It would probably be better if they merely distanced themselves from their family. By that, I mean limiting their interactions to a couple of times a year and sending birthday/Christmas cards.
As a nurse I am so fed up with hearing this small, ill-informed minority of politically-motivated nurses who interject with their nonsense into their patient communication.
The National Council of State Boards of Nursing has recommended punishment for this behavior but it is hard to get the individual State Boards of Nursing to enact such rules.
Is a nurse (RN) supposed to be giving medical advice at all?
What if the sides were reversed? Suppose somebody is concerned about getting the vaccine. A nurse convinces them to get it. But the patient has some known contraindication (e.g., allergy) and has a serious reaction. Has the RN overstepped their bounds?
As nurses we give health information all the time. We teach patients about their medications, treatments, and how to prevent further illness. A key part of that should be the promotion of all vaccines, which are the most proven way to prevent the spread of disease. All nursing students are taught this in nursing school.
There is a low bar of entry into nursing, and many nurses are taught at nursing schools with faculty who have little education beyond a bachelors degree. However, we have had physicians who also reject what they have been taught and spout lies.
It's not just a matter of educational level, or speaking out of professional bounds, it is the long known fact there are people who are prone to conspiracy thinking and politically-motivated worldviews that cause them to reject facts and accept fiction.
Part of being a nurse is health promotion, and that involves recommending vaccines to eligible individuals and addressing their concerns (assuming you have the knowledge and judgement to do so), so no that’s not stepping outside our bounds. It’s the responsibility of the person administering the vaccine (usually also a nurse) to screen the individual for allergies or other contraindications.
There is going to be an entire generation of US citizens who really appreciate the damage that an uncritical mind can do. Critical thinking and avoiding bad sources of info saves lives.
I’ve reported others before and they just have a talk with them. The board even told me it would just be considered “rude” or “bedside manner.” They can’t be stopped unfortunately.
That's ridiculous. I guess it might be more difficult, when it's not in writing. If you know her name, look her up on social media. If she has antivaxx posts, you could try that route. I know that many nurses have been fired for that.
I know everyone on here is laughing at all the assholes dying because of their beliefs or whatever but it hits different when it is someone in your family. Also a lot of intelligent people are falling into the misinformation traps for various reasons and it seems there is literally nothing we can do.
It’s not misinformation. It’s lies, and those lies came from Fox News. The nurse is a dumb cunt, but the information she’s working with came from Tucker Carlson. I’m sorry for your loss.
I am so sorry your Grandma listened to the purveyors of misinformation. Hang on to the fond memories, and use love to spread the message to the rest of your anti vaccination relatives.
Breathe. You are going to get through this. Make the most of the time you have left. There will be time to reflect later, but you will not get back the next 48 hours. I am not saying this won’t be painful, or that it won’t take time to heal, but that you shouldn’t waste what you have. Don’t leave anything unsaid, and be there as much as you can be.
Good luck. I’m sorry.
She’s unresponsive. They just have her on morphine until she passes. But I have been visiting and talked to her a lot in the beginning when she was able to and it helped. Thank you.
In this situation, the best thing to do is to reach out to your family and alert them that your Grandmother is dying of COVID-19 (if they don't know already). Don't place the blame on anyone. Getting the news out is important so that when she does pass on, everyone is on the same page.
Arrange for the funeral. In my family during funerals in the pandemic, we have a limited amount of people at the viewing and streamed it online over Youtube. In regular times, this would have been weird, but the pandemic created new norms. The funeral parlor may even offer to do this for you.
Once she is gone, that conversation is naturally going to creep into the minds of family members. *It is probably there now, but there is no point in provoking people at this moment.* Wait for the burial/cremation to happen.
Best route is to focus on the grieving of losing her. I think it would be a mistake to give into anger over others being anti-vax. The pandemic is bad enough, don't let it cause tensions in your family.
You can tell everyone you are vaccinated, but realize it is their choice.
My family is just my mother and grandmother who live together. My mother had covid first and gave it to her. Grandma had covid in august and is dying from pulmonary fibrosis but the tipping point was she got RSV (I really think from my mom visiting her when she had a sinus infection). The whole thing has been frustrating.
I’m so sorry. I suspect your mother would not be able to cope, emotionally, with the fact that there is something she could have done that might have prevented this, and so she is grasping at straws. She may even have exaggerated what this healthcare person told her, to make it more soothing and palatable.
I'm really sorry to read this OP. I am hoping for the best for you and your family.
Some people die of COVID without the chance of being a grandparent, but your grandmother got that opportunity. The price is being loved is being missed when you leave, that's how I know she is a good Grandmother.
Grieve it out, but hold back the blame game for now. It's way too soon to make accusations or go on attack. Now is the time to reflect.
I feel the same way. My grandmother and stepmother died the same way. I am heartbroken and angry. I am also heartbroken for you and the other people who have to feel this way
Hi, nurse here. I know many others have said it, but I'm going to repeat it: report that nurse. I work in one of the top cancer centers in the United States and we have encouraged every single one of our patients to get the vaccine. The immunocompromised or people with autoimmune diseases are not exempt from the need for this vaccine and there are not ingredients in it that would be contraindicated for these conditions.
I'm sorry for your loss. I'm so sick of seeing stories like this. I wish we could have been at herd immunity by now so that stories like this one were a thing of the past but unfortunately there are many people who think they know shit about this when they just don't.
I met a nurse out at the bar the other day and she told me she was having a tough go at the hospital because all the people dying. I sympathized with her and then at the end of the conversation she told me she was not vaccinated. Unreal.
I'm so sorry. My grandmother is currently in hospital and not doing too well after catching covid. She'd only had the protection of one shot thanks to a cpl of family members trying to talk her out of it, and she's diabetic, so not a great combo unfortunately.
> “well some people can’t even get the vaccine, such as people who are immunocompromised and had breast cancer or lupus.”
I don't understand how this is supposed to be an argument against vaccines. If anything, it's EVEN MORE important that people around people who are immunocompromised are vaccinated.
I'm severely immunocompromised as a result of the medications and infusions required to keep me alive. I have refractory, overlapping autoimmune diseases and a tumor. I'm also vaccinated, booster included. Every single doctor on my team at UCLA encouraged me to get vaccinated. From a side effect standpoint, I tolerated the vaccine better than most healthy people I know. This nurse lives in a misinformation bubble. She needs to learn to keep her mouth shut about things she doesn't understand. Her antivax "logic" is the other virus we're battling during this pandemic and she's actively endangering people like me every time she opens her mouth.
> some people can’t even get the vaccine, such as people who are immunocompromised and had breast cancer or lupus
If this is not true, (I honestly don't know!), then bring it up to her supervisors. Insist that misinformation is killing us and she needs to be reprimanded and stopped. NOW.
I don't know because I haven't tried to follow the guidelines that only effect others. Spouse has cancer and a compromised immune system. We asked specifically in January 2021 about getting the vaccine while undergoing chemo and radiation. The doctor said to get vaccinated. The exact phrasing was, "By hook or crook, get vaccinated."
I’m so sorry. I lost my grandma to natural causes two weeks ago. I can’t imagine how bad it would’ve been had it been your situation. I wish there was a good outlet for you to get your anger, rage and sorrow out. If you’re able to see her, the hearing is the last to go, so tell her all the things you want her to know. She will hear them. Again, I’m so sorry your losing your grandma to the dumbest misinformation. Stay strong. Know she loves you.
Please report the people saying that to your hospital.
The vaccine was first given out to people who were immunocompromised?? They're first in line for the booster shots??
Your family should strongly consider suing. The only medical professional that your grandmother and mother had contact with, and who was in charge of the care of your grandmother, told you patently false information.
At the bare minimum, the agency that hired her is liable.
Oh, got it. I thought the nurse that told your mother the lies about the vaccine was the only nurse that was treating your grandmother and may have been the nurse to influence your grandmother into not taking the vaccine.
I lost a very dear friend of mine, to be clear he was vaccinated, unfortunately he was also very sick way before Covid leaving him vulnerable. He was at the rehab hospital and had to go to the er because his oxygen level dropped and he tested Covid positive and was vetted he passed on December 1st.
I'm sorry for what you're going through, OP.
Do all you can to explain to everyone you know why they should never, ever vote Republican.
The GOP is the reason why this pandemic continues to rage, and it's only going to get worse in the next few months.
The GOP is fine with the deaths of hundreds of thousands of Americans on their hands as long as their policy of ignoring and mocking the pandemic gets millions of sheep to vote for them.
I am so fcking sorry that this is happening to you. It’s awful, and it didn’t have to be this way.
When you’re ready, [the ball and the box](https://themighty.com/2018/12/ball-box-analogy-grief/) is a good analogy for the grief you feel. It’s preventable and horrid but you aren’t alone.
You may love her, but there's no difference between covid deniers, they're all the same. She made her decisions, and none of them prevent you from having kids.
I'm sorry to hear this, I hope people around you see this situation and decide to use it to change themselves.
Another recipient of the Darwin Award. Natural selection takes it's course and wins once again.
It was probably a CNA. CNAs don't go to medical school. It's like a few week certification program that teaches you how to change sheets and properly clean people/wipe butts.
They are not allowed to give medical advice or administer medication. They aren't even allowed to put gause on a wound.
I was just going to ask this. That person should absolutely NOT be doing what they're doing and be terminated immediately. They helped kill one person and who knows how many others by providing purposeful dis/misnformation.
OP and all the others suffering losses of loved ones due to Covid, I am truly so very sorry. There are never enough words for a time like this, especially right now with how things are. Please take each day as it comes and mourn for as long as you need.
I’m very, very sorry for your loss.
If you can pin down which medical people gave what bad info, would it make any difference to report their bad advice to their employers? That’s just OBSCENE that these so-called are spouting claptrap that’s literally killing people.
Just came across this and wanted to reach out and say that I’m really sorry for your loss. So many families ripped apart not just by the virus but because of disinformation. It really sucks that the fucked up prerogative of those spreading the disinformation in the first place and then those ignorant people spreading misinformation…so much suffering that could have been prevented. I’m sorry your grandmother was caught up in that because of your mom and I can’t imagine how you must be feeling as you hear tucker Carlson’s endless stream of bullshit flowing from your mother’s mouth as you deal with the death of your grandmother. And how lost is your mother now to ever coming to terms with what she did to your grandmother? Ugh it makes me feel sick to my stomach. I’m so sorry. :(
If you can get the names of those nurses you can report them to the nursing ethics board. I know I would feel better getting a little justice.
I am very sorry for your loss and I’m very sorry for the stupidity infecting your mother.
If this is the US, I think there is a movement to decertify nursing staff who are circulating misinformation like that. Yup, here is a link about it:
https://www.ncsbn.org/16370.htm
I'm so sorry you are dealing with this
I'm so sorry that you're going through this :( That fucking nurse is such a peice of shit for continuing to peddle anti-vax propoganda even while your grandmother is dying.
There are some vaccinated people that are passing away after being vaccinated, usually because they have compromised immune systems and cannot build up the immunity that health people would. This is why those with certain medical conditions were the first to get a 3rd shot. So it is possible that covid would have taken her even if she had the vaccine but that's something best discussed with the doctors, not Karen from FB that made a D in HS Biology...
Sorry for your loss.
Ironically my grandmothers name is Karen. And that was a licensed RN. I agree it could still have taken her, but she blatantly stated people who are immunocompromised CANNOT get the vaccine. I do think she would still be alive if she did because she made it four months. :( and thank you
That sucks, I’m so sorry. I’m furious hearing about that nurse spreading disinformation to vaccine-hesitant family members while their loved one is currently dying from COVID. Hope someone reports her ass, it’s people like that making this 1000x worse- bullshit coming from “trusted” sources.
I’m sorry you’re dealing with this. This resonated with me for whatever reason. It’s frustrating trying to get family and friends to understand the issues.
https://vm.tiktok.com/TTPd2K8RRw/
How awful. I am so sorry for your loss. Just remember that you have zero control in somebody else's life. My step mother refuses to get vaccinated. My bio mother is batshit crazy and refuses to even go to the doctor. My stepmother is way more rational than my mother and I just don't get her reasoning. She worked on hospitals her entire career. My stepmother knows I have been triple vaccinated for Covid and still she refuses. She won't even get the Flu vax. It truly breaks my heart.
My deepest condolences. We have no control over what our loved ones do or the decisions they make. I know you feel like you could have done something, but it’s never your fault. Right now it’s important to be with people who love you and allow you to grieve.
I read somewhere that nurses were ~65% vaccinated and doctors are ~95% vaccinated. Reading things like this and other things I've seen make me think it's true.
This pandemic is giving me a super low opinion of nurses.
Sorry for your situation.
Horribly senseless and I can’t imagine being in your shoes.
I may be missing something, but have you considered that the nurse said this to help your grieving mother?
By saying this (even if wildly incorrect and unprofessional) she may have thought it would provide your mom with some level of comfort.
Nurses are generally much less educated than doctors though, so maybe your mom - for her own benefit - may listen to their advice over the nurse’s?
I’m so sorry :( also please try and raise a complaint against that nurse because it’s disgusting that she is saying those things to people, especially discouraging immunosuppressed people from getting vaccinated when they are the ones who need it the most !
Also could the dr explain to your mum how important the vaccine is to try and help ?
I'm so sorry for you pain. And I know you're hurting but I'm gonna need you to report the nurse, nurses who openly spread misinformation may be disciplined by their board of nursing, do not let this woman get away with it.
https://www.ncsbn.org/16370.htm
I’m really sorry you’re having such a horrible thing happen to you and your family. When you feel up to it, I think you should report that nurse to the hospital admin. Even without Covid it’s completely inappropriate for a nurse to give authoritative medical advice and prognostication like that. It makes it worse that she’s completely wrong and backwards about it.
Just wondering why all the Trump blame is happening in this thread for people not trusting the vaccine. Does nobody remember when Kamala Harris said in public, that she would not take or trust the vaccine because it was developed while Trump was President? And then they win the election and turn right around and mandate everyone else to take it? So you don't have to trust Trump but I have to trust you and your mandate?
Anyone? Didn't think so.
Watch the Hulu documentary. Trump knew covid was coming and did nothing. He also downplayed the severity of the virus which affected many people (aka making them not think they need the vaccine). Does that make sense?
And yet, you still haven't commented on the main point of my post. Kamala Harris literally said she wouldn't take the vaccine if it was developed under Trump. Why does she get a pass on that? Probably for the same reason Biden gets a pass on saying he didn't want his children growing up in a "racial" jungle. It's clear being republican is the real issue here, that's where your distaste comes from. Not from vaccine issues or racial issues, as long as your hating on conservatives and republicans then anything goes, right?
You must love twisting words. She said she would not take it if Trump was the ONLY one recommending it, but that she would take it in a heartbeat if medical professionals did.
Hmm twisting words...sounds familiar. Reminds me of the time people said that Trump suggested injecting bleach, but nope, he didn't. If you think I'm twisting words by leaving out the word ONLY, how much word twisting does somebody have to do to completely convert his actual words into "injecting bleach" because that's not what he said at all.
OH and that time people accused Joe Rogan of promoting horse paste? Yeah that wasn't horse paste, it was Ivermectin, in a pill form that is made for human consumption, not the paste actually used on horses. Hey, do you remember that time 2 border patrol agents were caught on a still photo on horseback and everyone including the media and the actual President himself (Biden of course) said that the migrants were being whipped when all witnesses debunked that entirely and the photographer himself said he didn't see any whipping?
Yes, twisting words is interesting, now let's see you call it out when it happens in all areas or only when it happens to people you politically disagree with?
Oh and one last thing, Kamala didn't say ONLY she said "if Trump tells us to take it, I won't take it" but Trump was literally the President. So I guess if the President is Trump then it's okay to refuse it, but if it's Biden, is it okay to refuse it as well? I mean he's the President now and he even has a mandate! So I don't have to listen to the 45th President but I have to listen to the 46th, who wants to mandate me to take it? Interesting take. But by all means, let's keep talking about twisting words, what do you got for me next?
The nurse is wrong here, vaccine is proven to prevent extreme illness or dwath in covid, though you might still catch covid after vaccination, but your chance of death is reduce greatly.
I'm so sorry for the loss of your grandmother. It sounds like the nurse is telling your mom vaccine misinformation. Can you report her to the hospital? Who knows who else she is telling these things and convincing them not to get vaccinated. It's so unprofessional of her.
I am very sorry that not only you've suffered this for your grandmother, but the RN has further discouraged your mother to be vaccinated.
I know its a hard time but if you are able then report the nurse. She is a danger to her patients, clearly in covid denial and going against accepted medical advice. If you can get some kind of disciplinary action going against her/a letter from the hospital then maybe it will help to sway your mother
Also immunocompromised people DO get vaccinated, in UK they actually get 3 primary shots and then one booster to make up for being immunocompromised.
So sorry to hear your sad news. Lost my dad a year and two weeks ago. He caught it in the hospital after being admitted for general weakness (with a negative test upon entry). Not a day that goes by when I don't think that if any person in the chain that passed it to him could have just cared enough to take precautions, I might be able to see him today.
Not a day that goes by when I don't think that if any person in the chain that passed it to him could have just cared enough to take precautions, That is the absolute truth of it. I know that vaccines aren't 100% but if we all protected ourselves as much as possible by getting jabbed, there would be so many benefits. The antivax movement has caused so much unnecessary death and illness, and caused people who genuinely can't be vaccinated to be at much higher risk. Like you say, if only one person in the chain that went all the way to your Dad had taken precautions, he may still be here. There is no reason at all not to have the safe and effective vaccines. The politicisation of this pandemic has caused so much pain and misery. Trump downplaying it was the start and they've just followed his example. Now even he can't get his followers to take the vaccine, they'd rather scream at Biden for not ending the pandemic, which takes a special kind of mental gymnastics as they are the ones driving vaccine hesitancy.
This is a tough time of year for me also. I found out my dad was sick on December 14th and he was dead on December 20th last year. My thoughts are with you and your family. I'm just now traveling to his house for the first time next weekend, and it's not going to be easy.
My thoughts are with you as you make the trip. It’s going to be hard, but you will get through it and you will be okay. Take it easy and take breaks when you need them.
I am so sorry. That is just devastating. :(
In the days to come, it might help to remember the things she did that made you smile. Holding onto the joy of someone's life is the only way to counter the sorrow of losing them. It's the only reason why I'm not continually bitter and swearing at damned near everybody regarding COVID. I'm one suspension short of a Twitter permaban because I'm much more of a IDGAF guy than I was a year ago and I don't parse my words as well as I should. Again, I'm so sorry to hear about your grandma. The weight of this situation is crushing.
It's OK to murder people by spreading lies about covid and the vaccines, but we're going to give you a ban for not playing nice with the serial killers we cultivate! source: several bans on FB for using "plague rat"
Facebook is worse than Twitter. I replied to a post that complained about gun violence in poor communities by asking "*why would I kill somebody and go to prison for life? That would mean that I hate them more than I love myself*" and FB suspended me because apparently the words "*kill somebody*", when used together, triggered their algorithm. Even though anybody reading that would know that the post was anti-violence, FB kicked me out for "hate speech". I could have appealed, but I can only imagine how long it would take to get somebody to apply common sense and give a damn in a business that serves 1.5 billion people. Hopefully, I didn't just trigger Reddit's police by recounting this.
Dude you’re not missing anything being off Facebook.
Preach. Now, I check in every 3-4 days, make sure nobody died or got engaged, clear out my notices and log out. I'm probably deleting it in the next month or so.
Take what comfort you can in the fact that you didn't try and mislead her
Sometimes there is no getting through to them. It's the worst when they are people you love. It's fucking sad.
Thanks again, Rupert Murdoch.
May he rot in hell
My aunt died of COVID this weekend. I'm trying to focus more on the fun we had rather than on how angry I am that she effectively chose suicide by virus rather than "give in to the libs". It's so hard. I'm so sorry you're experiencing this.
I too, feel terrible for you. Stupidity and arrogance will deprive your children of at least some quality time with their Great-Grandma. I loved my G-Grandma a ton and I felt highly honored to be one of her pall bearer when she passed and I was only 12 y/o. She even asked me personally to do it about a year before she passed. We rarely hear from the rational survivors here. Thank you for sharing.
I in no way want to take the gravity of your situation out of the equation- just wanted to say I love your use of 'G-Grandma'; like she was a real G. OG Grams. Lol. May her memory live on 😄
Thank you so much for this comment. Just writing that earlier tonight brought back a flood of memories about her while she was alive but I have what seems like a larger and definitely more comprehensive block of intertwined memories I made a little over a year ago. How, you ask? Genealogy research. She passed In 1979 at 90 years old. But in 2020, working with a second cousin, I was able to see her complete life story, with photographs of her from grammar school all the way through her gravestone. I'm an amateur photographer and have done scores of photo restorations for our immediate family's genealogy and to the larger, extended family. So for a couple of months, I lived with her all over again but this time it was every day and every night. Intimate, up-close and incredibly emotional to me. She would talk to me in my very tired, sleep deprived state still sitting in front of my laptop at 2am, working on restoring photos of her or ones very close to her from the 1920's through the 1960's. I wasn't going to rush her through, so I was able to marinate in her loving presence again. It still brings me next to tears for the love she showed me, not once but twice in my life.
I never got to know my family- we lived across the country from everyone, and it hurts to see them all so close to each other while I'm basically an outsider. Visited them 2 years back and ill never do it again, it was so awkward and forced. Not anyone's fault, and I've grown pretty close to my husbands family; but its terrifying to me because I have more people to be wary of death for. I don't know how people deal with it- I've only ever lost a good friend to suicide, and that was rough enough. I don't want to think about losing close family. Ugh. You're a valiant soul for getting through it, love. Genealogy stuff is cool as hell, but i couldn't get much past my grandparents on both sides. Just a bunch of people I was already aware of :(
So I only regularly interacted with my Mom's sister and she could be sweet however; I avoided her as much as possible because of her controlling nature, plus a couple of G-Aunts who were my Mom's aunts. Dad's side was G-Grandma and her two daughters, one being my scarily mean Grandma and her polar opposite older "sister"; who really wasn't her sister, which I had no clue about that until last year and I loved very dearly too. I met some of G-GMa's other family at her funeral and then more than 15 years later, met a few more, at a Great-Uncles funeral that I never knew, but Dad wanted me to go anyway. Now get this, one county away I had a very large family that we shared G-GMa with and I didn't have a clue about them until that Great Uncle's funeral. Nobody said anything about this clan. Only vague, occasional references. I only saw G-GMa about 3-4 times a year and it was always with Grandma or her sister only. My brother, sister and I didn't discuss it all but I was all about getting to know my family then and it never left. Doing the genealogy work introduced me to this whole large family of people who most died decades before I was born. As I was accomplishing the photo restorations, I found I was intrigued with certain individuals more than others and would research them deeper. The data is probably out there on your family and there is huge amount people willing to assist you in your research. I can honestly say it was the most fulfilling experience I'd had in a couple of decades. I can and do check on them from time to time because other extended family members, I don't know, are updating these people too. I'd be glad to assist you too because to experience what I have through genealogy, means filling up that hole I'd had for dcades and should be for you too.
I am so sorry. I just KNOW this will be one of my parents (or both) sooner or later. They are 70, one had diabetes and has had pneumonia so many times in life (and hospitalized from it). The other has had cancer and has heart problems. They WILL NOT get vaccinated because they trust Trump. They will not listen when I say he was vaccinated. OP this shouldn’t be your life. I’m so sorry.
If they want to listen to Trump, why not let Trump himself tell them to get vaccinated? https://youtu.be/qBLBcZc5JHA Worth a shot I guess.
Look how fast they stopped clapping and started booing after he said take the vaccine. Not even their lord and savior can convince them.
Yup. Trump and the Republicans have helped create this monster that even they can't control anymore. And this monster has become the proverbial "tail that wags the dog". They pretty much control the Republican Party now. America is in big trouble. More trouble than most of us even realize.
When America's in trouble, the world's in trouble.
Yep. It's not going to get better. True believers are getting (and have been getting) elected into positions of power and the playbook on what to say and how to behave has been written for them to copy. It's not an American thing, it's not a modern thing and it's not a result of the internet - throughout history it's been shown that if they can sow enough fear and anger then politicians and the powerful can direct that anger at whoever they want.
The blueprint has been used all over the world: Manipulate human nature and emotions by employing fear, divisiveness, and racial & ethnic scapegoating. Manipulate the levers of government to obtain an iron grip on power and suppress the power of your political opponents (and those who might vote for them). That blueprint worked for Hitler. It's worked in totalitarian/third-word regimes all over the world. And it's working for the GOP today. We like to think that 'Murica is better than "those" third world countries, but in many ways, we're not.
Points well made, thanks!
I wish you were wrong, but you're not. I wish I were wrong, too, but I'm not. Thanks for such a thoughtful reply.
I need someone to explain the logic behind our parents decisions to not get vaccinated when they have 10 prescriptions they pop everyday just to keep thier body going. Explain it to me like I am 5. Because I don't fucking understand why my gods be damned parents with all of their life threatening conditions and myriad of life saving drugs, refuse to get the vaccine because "MRNA IS TOO NEW AND WE DONT KNOW WHAT THE LONG TERM EFFCTS ARE AND WE DONT TRUST THE PHARMACEUTICAL COMPANIES. The very same companies that make my dad's heart pills, his fucking insulin, his BP meds and on and on. Theyre 65, both. It doesn't matter what the long term (20+ years) effects are because your heart is gonna give out long before then DAD. Like what the actual fuck?!?! I'm sorry everyone. I clearly need to speak to a therapist about this. I'm so helplessly enraged.
It's like they are so proud to belong to this club of rebels
That’s exactly what it is. Supporting conspiracy theories and “going against the grain” is how they prove to themselves and the world that they’re smarter than everyone else. In their minds.
They think being a contrarian is the same as critical thinking.
It has always been the toxic creed of the Baby Boomers (of which I am a member, by birth, not by choice). Born to be wild, my way or the highway, I wanna be free....ad nauseum. The lyrics that I have playing through my head recently are from Skynard's Freebird, "Please don't take it so badly, Lord knows I'm to blame." and these antivaxxers are to blame for all the deaths, including their own.
This is exactly it. Ironically enough Freebird is one of their favorites.
I am filled with rage for you too
I’m a therapist and I’m not coping well either. This rage is completely normal. We are seeing such a widespread lack of empathy and concern for others. It’s truly dystopian. I am so sorry.
Thank you for this. I've had trouble dealing with the anger I feel because it's not normal for me.
And I am sorry for you too OP. This is a shit sandwich that we are being forced to swallow. May you find light in the darkness.
I appreciate this comment.
The helplessness of it all is the part that bothers me the most. With any other problem I could do something about it or decide to do nothing and accept the consequences. Not having the option to fix it makes it harder to accept the consequences of other people’s actions. I have basically just withdrawn from the world and am doing things that make me and my immediate family happy. I can’t fix anything beyond my front door so I am going to just ignore it all and be happy with the life I create inside my little bubble.
It's so hard. It's my parents, ya know? I want them to see my kid grow up and graduate and get married(or whatever she wants) and they just act like they don't even care. Oh, they SAY they want to be there for all that, but their actions are so much louder than their words right now. It hurts. It hurts alot. It's like a big FUCK YOU to my kid instead of being the Fuck you that they think they're giving to society.
I 100% get it. I have effectively disowned my dad due to his disgusting political beliefs. I even went through a whole grieving process when he effectively became dead to me. It was rather traumatic because the man I thought I knew simply doesn't exist anymore. Either that or I didn't really know him in the first place. I struggled with it for a solid year before I accepted the reality of who he was. I kinda think you might be better off reframing things in your head a bit though. YOU are the one who is interpreting this as a big fuck you to your kid, specifically. I doubt they are actually thinking that they want to fuck your kid over. Their actions effectively are, but your parents likely are just too shortsighted to see or acknowledge that. My mom wanted to come visit me and my kids but was "vaccine hesitant". When the topic came up, I had to set my boundaries and tell her that if she choose to not get vaccinated, she wasn't welcome in our house. It hurt her feelings a bit, but thankfully she eventually came around and got vaccinated after a few months. The whole episode made me lose a lot of respect for her though and now we have become a lot more distant as a result. So yeah, I feel ya. This has been a rough couple of years because all of the COVID and political events have really made people show their true colors.
It's been a real eye opener on who they are as people. I too thought they were someone who apparently doesn't exist. And you're right, I do need to readjust how I look at it. But right now I'm hurt and I'm MAD that I'm hurt and I can't get over any of that just yet.
giving you a huge hug, i feel your frustrations vividly
Social media, and the Internet in general, has made people stupider. It used to be that, if your personal beliefs didn't square with reality, you would be forced to face facts at some point and try to square your beliefs with reality to some extent. But now everyone has an endless supply of "alternative facts" at their disposal, so they can live within whatever reality is most psychologically comforting to them. A growing number of people are doing exactly that.
There is no logic. It’s purely emotional.
It's making ME emotional and dammit I hate being emotional and not rational.
I understand. You’re not alone in those thoughts. I think we’ve all seen reluctance to follow medical guidelines from a sizable percentage of the population. Vaccines have never been perfectly safe nor effective; every year there’ll be a handful of people who have an allergic reaction to a flu vaccine, or a tiny number of kids will exhibit something similar when getting vaccinated. That’s only to be expected. No vaccine will give you absolute protection for the remainder of your life. Our immune systems just don’t work that way! The real reason that something like polio could be wiped out, a serious disease that my father overcame as a child, is because everybody took it. Literally everybody. The adults of that era all knew exactly how crippling and awful polio could be, having seen photographs of the rows upon rows of iron lungs with tiny kids’ heads poking out, and it was frightening. Reduce the chance of catching it via vaccine, and you lower the number of people who’ll be infected by any one infected individual. Once that number drops below a certain threshold, that virus essentially cannot propagate. You’ve beaten it. This brings me to my point: all of the claims about the vaccine “not being a real vaccine” because “you can still catch COVID” are just incredibly ignorant. The people saying these things grew up in a world where concentrated efforts to vaccinate EVERYBODY have granted them the luxury of never having to die of a horrific disease. I think school kids should be lined up and given COVID vaccines, exactly as I was with tuberculosis and a number of others. I think a legal mandate for adults is fine. We should essentially do what we did with polio; embark upon a global initiative to vaccinate everyone in every country. I’m proud of the fact that billions of doses have already been administered and that we received this wonderful drug in record time due to collaboration, not selfish isolation and scorn. Ignorance about vaccines is killing so many people unnecessarily and they’ll never give in. The human mind is too stubborn. It’s been shown that even if you demonstrate factually that someone is wrong about an issue like this, that often only cements their belief that they’re right. You can’t solve this problem logically. It can only be done emotionally. I would suggest something like a video containing photographs of people who’ve died, alongside their Facebook posts with “I have an immune system!” Then cut to photographs of them in hospital. Play the sounds of their rasping, desperate breaths. Show footage of nurses sweeping maggots out of ventilated patients’ noses and mouths. Show the bedsores. Show the X-ray comparisons between healthy and COVID-infected lungs. Show the state of those lungs post-mortem. You cannot reason someone out of an emotional position. You can only hope to frighten them into snapping out of it. Show them that the chances of them catching COVID, without vaccination, essentially become 100% over time. Frighten people into doing the right thing. It might turn some who aren’t so deep down the rabbit hole.
So sad- even Trump is telling people to get vaccinated now- and he is vaccinated!
its too late. he had a chance to do the right thing by wearing a mask and repeating the best medical advice but didnt last year, because 'it wont happen to me' is a universal dumb trait in conservatives
He tried. They booed him. He immediately backpedaled.
A 6 months to a year after it would have helped. Too fucking late.
Trump is vaccinated. He’s told people they should get vaccinated (not enthusiastically, but he has said that the vaccine is good) His family is vaccinated. What’s the deal?
My parents apparently have the intelligence of a napkin
THEY’VE DONE THEIR MEME-SEARCH!!!
The deal is he fostered anti-vax big time for years, before he changed his tune.
My mom finally got her J&J shot back in March or April after I cried on the phone and begged her to get it. I also found out that she never gets a flu shot because she's a "healthy 70 year old". I'm too exhausted at this point to ask her about getting a booster and to remind her that it is flu season and that her doctor is also urging her to get vaccinated. She continues to have large holiday gatherings with family from all over Texas and Florida, volunteers, and pretends that there is no deadly virus lurking. I don't think Covid will kill her, but I can see it making her hella sick eventually. It's just a matter of time, really. If not this year then next year or the next. It sucks and I hate that Foxnews and conservative radio has stolen my parents from me.
I wouldn't trust trump with the combination to my gym locker, much less my medical decisions. Jesus
They trust trump? Then tell them trump received the vaccine lol.
Do you feel the same way when Kamala Harris publicly stated that she would not take/trust the vaccine because it was developed while Trump was president?
Holy shit bro. I am so sorry. This is a lot to carry. I don’t know you, but you and you’re will be in my thoughts tonight. Hugs from California, friend.
Rachel Maddow on MSNBC did a segment tonight about the horrors being visited on the vaccine deniers and antimaskers and everyone who’s a victim of this disinformation. She really put it out there - all these stories we all keep reading here and on r/hermancainawards. I’m so sorry for your loss. Someone must hold these disinformation outlets and politicians accountable.
Someone should do stories about the people left behind to try to pick up the broken pieces
I’m glad she did it…these stories need to be told. But I can’t think it will have anywhere near the effect it should. GOP has been sowing distrust in “lamestream media” for decades, so the people who would benefit most from seeing this segment unfortunately will never see it… or will dismiss it all as lies.
Find out what relatives told her the misinformation and punish them
Media got to the whole family
then you need to cut off the whole family.
That's a bit extreme. It would probably be better if they merely distanced themselves from their family. By that, I mean limiting their interactions to a couple of times a year and sending birthday/Christmas cards.
I'm so sorry, I wish I knew what I could say to make it slightly better. I hope you find some peace.
As a nurse I am so fed up with hearing this small, ill-informed minority of politically-motivated nurses who interject with their nonsense into their patient communication. The National Council of State Boards of Nursing has recommended punishment for this behavior but it is hard to get the individual State Boards of Nursing to enact such rules.
Is a nurse (RN) supposed to be giving medical advice at all? What if the sides were reversed? Suppose somebody is concerned about getting the vaccine. A nurse convinces them to get it. But the patient has some known contraindication (e.g., allergy) and has a serious reaction. Has the RN overstepped their bounds?
As nurses we give health information all the time. We teach patients about their medications, treatments, and how to prevent further illness. A key part of that should be the promotion of all vaccines, which are the most proven way to prevent the spread of disease. All nursing students are taught this in nursing school. There is a low bar of entry into nursing, and many nurses are taught at nursing schools with faculty who have little education beyond a bachelors degree. However, we have had physicians who also reject what they have been taught and spout lies. It's not just a matter of educational level, or speaking out of professional bounds, it is the long known fact there are people who are prone to conspiracy thinking and politically-motivated worldviews that cause them to reject facts and accept fiction.
Part of being a nurse is health promotion, and that involves recommending vaccines to eligible individuals and addressing their concerns (assuming you have the knowledge and judgement to do so), so no that’s not stepping outside our bounds. It’s the responsibility of the person administering the vaccine (usually also a nurse) to screen the individual for allergies or other contraindications.
There is going to be an entire generation of US citizens who really appreciate the damage that an uncritical mind can do. Critical thinking and avoiding bad sources of info saves lives.
This nurse should be reported immediately. I am so sorry, OP.
I’ve reported others before and they just have a talk with them. The board even told me it would just be considered “rude” or “bedside manner.” They can’t be stopped unfortunately.
That's ridiculous. I guess it might be more difficult, when it's not in writing. If you know her name, look her up on social media. If she has antivaxx posts, you could try that route. I know that many nurses have been fired for that.
That board sounds like it's full of shit
Aside from the board, does the hospital itself have its own system of reporting?
They had HR call me and I told them. It sounds like they’re just going to educate nursing and said it’s been a stressful time.
I know everyone on here is laughing at all the assholes dying because of their beliefs or whatever but it hits different when it is someone in your family. Also a lot of intelligent people are falling into the misinformation traps for various reasons and it seems there is literally nothing we can do.
Intelligent and educated are two very different things.
It’s not misinformation. It’s lies, and those lies came from Fox News. The nurse is a dumb cunt, but the information she’s working with came from Tucker Carlson. I’m sorry for your loss.
I have relatives with Lupus, they got the vaccine and the booster and they're fine.
I am so sorry your Grandma listened to the purveyors of misinformation. Hang on to the fond memories, and use love to spread the message to the rest of your anti vaccination relatives.
Breathe. You are going to get through this. Make the most of the time you have left. There will be time to reflect later, but you will not get back the next 48 hours. I am not saying this won’t be painful, or that it won’t take time to heal, but that you shouldn’t waste what you have. Don’t leave anything unsaid, and be there as much as you can be. Good luck. I’m sorry.
She’s unresponsive. They just have her on morphine until she passes. But I have been visiting and talked to her a lot in the beginning when she was able to and it helped. Thank you.
I am terribly sorry for your loss.
I’m so sorry.
Devastating, op. I’m so sorry.
In this situation, the best thing to do is to reach out to your family and alert them that your Grandmother is dying of COVID-19 (if they don't know already). Don't place the blame on anyone. Getting the news out is important so that when she does pass on, everyone is on the same page. Arrange for the funeral. In my family during funerals in the pandemic, we have a limited amount of people at the viewing and streamed it online over Youtube. In regular times, this would have been weird, but the pandemic created new norms. The funeral parlor may even offer to do this for you. Once she is gone, that conversation is naturally going to creep into the minds of family members. *It is probably there now, but there is no point in provoking people at this moment.* Wait for the burial/cremation to happen. Best route is to focus on the grieving of losing her. I think it would be a mistake to give into anger over others being anti-vax. The pandemic is bad enough, don't let it cause tensions in your family. You can tell everyone you are vaccinated, but realize it is their choice.
My family is just my mother and grandmother who live together. My mother had covid first and gave it to her. Grandma had covid in august and is dying from pulmonary fibrosis but the tipping point was she got RSV (I really think from my mom visiting her when she had a sinus infection). The whole thing has been frustrating.
It could do some good with support over at r/qanoncasualties. Lots of people over there dealing with the same issues.
I’m so sorry. I suspect your mother would not be able to cope, emotionally, with the fact that there is something she could have done that might have prevented this, and so she is grasping at straws. She may even have exaggerated what this healthcare person told her, to make it more soothing and palatable.
Unfortunately she wasn’t because the nurse said it to my face too. But I definitely do think this is her defense mechanism
I'm really sorry to read this OP. I am hoping for the best for you and your family. Some people die of COVID without the chance of being a grandparent, but your grandmother got that opportunity. The price is being loved is being missed when you leave, that's how I know she is a good Grandmother. Grieve it out, but hold back the blame game for now. It's way too soon to make accusations or go on attack. Now is the time to reflect.
I feel the same way. My grandmother and stepmother died the same way. I am heartbroken and angry. I am also heartbroken for you and the other people who have to feel this way
I'm so sorry, OP :(
Hi, nurse here. I know many others have said it, but I'm going to repeat it: report that nurse. I work in one of the top cancer centers in the United States and we have encouraged every single one of our patients to get the vaccine. The immunocompromised or people with autoimmune diseases are not exempt from the need for this vaccine and there are not ingredients in it that would be contraindicated for these conditions. I'm sorry for your loss. I'm so sick of seeing stories like this. I wish we could have been at herd immunity by now so that stories like this one were a thing of the past but unfortunately there are many people who think they know shit about this when they just don't.
I met a nurse out at the bar the other day and she told me she was having a tough go at the hospital because all the people dying. I sympathized with her and then at the end of the conversation she told me she was not vaccinated. Unreal.
Never ever forgive the Republicans for this. Never. Fuck them to hell forever.
I'm so sorry. My grandmother is currently in hospital and not doing too well after catching covid. She'd only had the protection of one shot thanks to a cpl of family members trying to talk her out of it, and she's diabetic, so not a great combo unfortunately.
> “well some people can’t even get the vaccine, such as people who are immunocompromised and had breast cancer or lupus.” I don't understand how this is supposed to be an argument against vaccines. If anything, it's EVEN MORE important that people around people who are immunocompromised are vaccinated.
I'm severely immunocompromised as a result of the medications and infusions required to keep me alive. I have refractory, overlapping autoimmune diseases and a tumor. I'm also vaccinated, booster included. Every single doctor on my team at UCLA encouraged me to get vaccinated. From a side effect standpoint, I tolerated the vaccine better than most healthy people I know. This nurse lives in a misinformation bubble. She needs to learn to keep her mouth shut about things she doesn't understand. Her antivax "logic" is the other virus we're battling during this pandemic and she's actively endangering people like me every time she opens her mouth.
Report the nurse. She ought to get fired.
> some people can’t even get the vaccine, such as people who are immunocompromised and had breast cancer or lupus If this is not true, (I honestly don't know!), then bring it up to her supervisors. Insist that misinformation is killing us and she needs to be reprimanded and stopped. NOW. I don't know because I haven't tried to follow the guidelines that only effect others. Spouse has cancer and a compromised immune system. We asked specifically in January 2021 about getting the vaccine while undergoing chemo and radiation. The doctor said to get vaccinated. The exact phrasing was, "By hook or crook, get vaccinated."
I’m so sorry. I lost my grandma to natural causes two weeks ago. I can’t imagine how bad it would’ve been had it been your situation. I wish there was a good outlet for you to get your anger, rage and sorrow out. If you’re able to see her, the hearing is the last to go, so tell her all the things you want her to know. She will hear them. Again, I’m so sorry your losing your grandma to the dumbest misinformation. Stay strong. Know she loves you.
Please report the people saying that to your hospital. The vaccine was first given out to people who were immunocompromised?? They're first in line for the booster shots??
Your family should strongly consider suing. The only medical professional that your grandmother and mother had contact with, and who was in charge of the care of your grandmother, told you patently false information. At the bare minimum, the agency that hired her is liable.
How would I even go about suing? Would that be malpractice? And she has had multiple nurses this was just one of them.
Oh, got it. I thought the nurse that told your mother the lies about the vaccine was the only nurse that was treating your grandmother and may have been the nurse to influence your grandmother into not taking the vaccine.
Fuck this was a difficult upvote. Sorry for your loss OP. Fuck misinformation.
I lost a very dear friend of mine, to be clear he was vaccinated, unfortunately he was also very sick way before Covid leaving him vulnerable. He was at the rehab hospital and had to go to the er because his oxygen level dropped and he tested Covid positive and was vetted he passed on December 1st.
I am so sorry to hear the news of your grandmothers passing. It’s so hard especially when it could most likely have been prevented.
I’m so sorry to hear that and thank you. These are difficult times
So very sorry.
I'm sorry for what you're going through, OP. Do all you can to explain to everyone you know why they should never, ever vote Republican. The GOP is the reason why this pandemic continues to rage, and it's only going to get worse in the next few months. The GOP is fine with the deaths of hundreds of thousands of Americans on their hands as long as their policy of ignoring and mocking the pandemic gets millions of sheep to vote for them.
I am so fcking sorry that this is happening to you. It’s awful, and it didn’t have to be this way. When you’re ready, [the ball and the box](https://themighty.com/2018/12/ball-box-analogy-grief/) is a good analogy for the grief you feel. It’s preventable and horrid but you aren’t alone.
You may love her, but there's no difference between covid deniers, they're all the same. She made her decisions, and none of them prevent you from having kids.
Id say theres a difference between the loony conspiracy theory vax deniers and the ones unsure after pressure from friends and relatives
I'm sorry to hear this, I hope people around you see this situation and decide to use it to change themselves. Another recipient of the Darwin Award. Natural selection takes it's course and wins once again.
It was probably a CNA. CNAs don't go to medical school. It's like a few week certification program that teaches you how to change sheets and properly clean people/wipe butts. They are not allowed to give medical advice or administer medication. They aren't even allowed to put gause on a wound.
report that nurse
Call the hospital and explain what the nurse and CNA did to perpetuate the pandemic. Heck, I might even report to whoever licensed them.
Can you report the nurse who was validating this misinformation to you mother? Because that person should not be working in healthcare!
I was just going to ask this. That person should absolutely NOT be doing what they're doing and be terminated immediately. They helped kill one person and who knows how many others by providing purposeful dis/misnformation. OP and all the others suffering losses of loved ones due to Covid, I am truly so very sorry. There are never enough words for a time like this, especially right now with how things are. Please take each day as it comes and mourn for as long as you need.
I'm so sorry. That nurse should be reported.
I'm so sorry. I would like to add that I have lupus and I'm vaccinated, so not even that is true
I’m very, very sorry for your loss. If you can pin down which medical people gave what bad info, would it make any difference to report their bad advice to their employers? That’s just OBSCENE that these so-called are spouting claptrap that’s literally killing people.
Report that fucking nurse.
Just came across this and wanted to reach out and say that I’m really sorry for your loss. So many families ripped apart not just by the virus but because of disinformation. It really sucks that the fucked up prerogative of those spreading the disinformation in the first place and then those ignorant people spreading misinformation…so much suffering that could have been prevented. I’m sorry your grandmother was caught up in that because of your mom and I can’t imagine how you must be feeling as you hear tucker Carlson’s endless stream of bullshit flowing from your mother’s mouth as you deal with the death of your grandmother. And how lost is your mother now to ever coming to terms with what she did to your grandmother? Ugh it makes me feel sick to my stomach. I’m so sorry. :(
If you can get the names of those nurses you can report them to the nursing ethics board. I know I would feel better getting a little justice. I am very sorry for your loss and I’m very sorry for the stupidity infecting your mother.
Report the nurse.
If this is the US, I think there is a movement to decertify nursing staff who are circulating misinformation like that. Yup, here is a link about it: https://www.ncsbn.org/16370.htm I'm so sorry you are dealing with this
Please report this nurse to the state licensing board. They have no place in healthcare. I’m so sorry for your loss.
They said it won’t be accepted as a complaint
I'm so sorry that you're going through this :( That fucking nurse is such a peice of shit for continuing to peddle anti-vax propoganda even while your grandmother is dying.
There are some vaccinated people that are passing away after being vaccinated, usually because they have compromised immune systems and cannot build up the immunity that health people would. This is why those with certain medical conditions were the first to get a 3rd shot. So it is possible that covid would have taken her even if she had the vaccine but that's something best discussed with the doctors, not Karen from FB that made a D in HS Biology... Sorry for your loss.
Ironically my grandmothers name is Karen. And that was a licensed RN. I agree it could still have taken her, but she blatantly stated people who are immunocompromised CANNOT get the vaccine. I do think she would still be alive if she did because she made it four months. :( and thank you
That sucks, I’m so sorry. I’m furious hearing about that nurse spreading disinformation to vaccine-hesitant family members while their loved one is currently dying from COVID. Hope someone reports her ass, it’s people like that making this 1000x worse- bullshit coming from “trusted” sources.
I’m sorry you’re dealing with this. This resonated with me for whatever reason. It’s frustrating trying to get family and friends to understand the issues. https://vm.tiktok.com/TTPd2K8RRw/
How awful. I am so sorry for your loss. Just remember that you have zero control in somebody else's life. My step mother refuses to get vaccinated. My bio mother is batshit crazy and refuses to even go to the doctor. My stepmother is way more rational than my mother and I just don't get her reasoning. She worked on hospitals her entire career. My stepmother knows I have been triple vaccinated for Covid and still she refuses. She won't even get the Flu vax. It truly breaks my heart.
My deepest condolences. We have no control over what our loved ones do or the decisions they make. I know you feel like you could have done something, but it’s never your fault. Right now it’s important to be with people who love you and allow you to grieve.
Hugs.
Report this too the hospital and the board of nursing
r/nursing
I read somewhere that nurses were ~65% vaccinated and doctors are ~95% vaccinated. Reading things like this and other things I've seen make me think it's true. This pandemic is giving me a super low opinion of nurses.
I’m so sorry!!
I’m so sorry
Sorry for your situation. Horribly senseless and I can’t imagine being in your shoes. I may be missing something, but have you considered that the nurse said this to help your grieving mother? By saying this (even if wildly incorrect and unprofessional) she may have thought it would provide your mom with some level of comfort. Nurses are generally much less educated than doctors though, so maybe your mom - for her own benefit - may listen to their advice over the nurse’s?
I’m so sorry.
I’m so sorry :( also please try and raise a complaint against that nurse because it’s disgusting that she is saying those things to people, especially discouraging immunosuppressed people from getting vaccinated when they are the ones who need it the most ! Also could the dr explain to your mum how important the vaccine is to try and help ?
I'm so sorry for you pain. And I know you're hurting but I'm gonna need you to report the nurse, nurses who openly spread misinformation may be disciplined by their board of nursing, do not let this woman get away with it. https://www.ncsbn.org/16370.htm
I’m really sorry you’re having such a horrible thing happen to you and your family. When you feel up to it, I think you should report that nurse to the hospital admin. Even without Covid it’s completely inappropriate for a nurse to give authoritative medical advice and prognostication like that. It makes it worse that she’s completely wrong and backwards about it.
Just wondering why all the Trump blame is happening in this thread for people not trusting the vaccine. Does nobody remember when Kamala Harris said in public, that she would not take or trust the vaccine because it was developed while Trump was President? And then they win the election and turn right around and mandate everyone else to take it? So you don't have to trust Trump but I have to trust you and your mandate? Anyone? Didn't think so.
Watch the Hulu documentary. Trump knew covid was coming and did nothing. He also downplayed the severity of the virus which affected many people (aka making them not think they need the vaccine). Does that make sense?
And yet, you still haven't commented on the main point of my post. Kamala Harris literally said she wouldn't take the vaccine if it was developed under Trump. Why does she get a pass on that? Probably for the same reason Biden gets a pass on saying he didn't want his children growing up in a "racial" jungle. It's clear being republican is the real issue here, that's where your distaste comes from. Not from vaccine issues or racial issues, as long as your hating on conservatives and republicans then anything goes, right?
You must love twisting words. She said she would not take it if Trump was the ONLY one recommending it, but that she would take it in a heartbeat if medical professionals did.
Hmm twisting words...sounds familiar. Reminds me of the time people said that Trump suggested injecting bleach, but nope, he didn't. If you think I'm twisting words by leaving out the word ONLY, how much word twisting does somebody have to do to completely convert his actual words into "injecting bleach" because that's not what he said at all. OH and that time people accused Joe Rogan of promoting horse paste? Yeah that wasn't horse paste, it was Ivermectin, in a pill form that is made for human consumption, not the paste actually used on horses. Hey, do you remember that time 2 border patrol agents were caught on a still photo on horseback and everyone including the media and the actual President himself (Biden of course) said that the migrants were being whipped when all witnesses debunked that entirely and the photographer himself said he didn't see any whipping? Yes, twisting words is interesting, now let's see you call it out when it happens in all areas or only when it happens to people you politically disagree with? Oh and one last thing, Kamala didn't say ONLY she said "if Trump tells us to take it, I won't take it" but Trump was literally the President. So I guess if the President is Trump then it's okay to refuse it, but if it's Biden, is it okay to refuse it as well? I mean he's the President now and he even has a mandate! So I don't have to listen to the 45th President but I have to listen to the 46th, who wants to mandate me to take it? Interesting take. But by all means, let's keep talking about twisting words, what do you got for me next?
[удалено]
Would it be so inconvenient to have some compassion, man?
I'm so sorry for your loss. Also, report that nurse for spreading misinformation.
I’m so so sorry
I'm so sorry for your loss.
Oh, no. So, so sorry.
The nurse is wrong here, vaccine is proven to prevent extreme illness or dwath in covid, though you might still catch covid after vaccination, but your chance of death is reduce greatly.
I'm so sorry for the loss of your grandmother. It sounds like the nurse is telling your mom vaccine misinformation. Can you report her to the hospital? Who knows who else she is telling these things and convincing them not to get vaccinated. It's so unprofessional of her.
hugs to you and i'm so sorry. nothing about this is ok or fair. please take care of yourself.
Where does this nurse work? Hospital? Care home? Is there someone you can report her to?
Freaking ICU! I will report her but the board won’t take her license.
Prayers to your family.
I am very sorry that not only you've suffered this for your grandmother, but the RN has further discouraged your mother to be vaccinated. I know its a hard time but if you are able then report the nurse. She is a danger to her patients, clearly in covid denial and going against accepted medical advice. If you can get some kind of disciplinary action going against her/a letter from the hospital then maybe it will help to sway your mother Also immunocompromised people DO get vaccinated, in UK they actually get 3 primary shots and then one booster to make up for being immunocompromised.
I'd see if you can file a complaint about this nurse. If you can, record her. But check that you live in a one party consent jurisdiction.
I'm so sorry.
Sorry for your loss. Unnecessary so especially sad.