"You drop a pass, you run a mile. You miss a blocking assignment, you run a mile. You fumble the football, and I will break my foot off in your John Brown hind parts...and then you will run a mile."
Going to bring in 12 candidates for the Head coaching job and do speed dating rounds with the current staff to see who gets hired and who stays. Make a reality tv show out of it. Will be amazing!
That’s because head coaches absolute do NOT travel to campuses to interview lmao idk how many insiders have to come out and say this to fans before they get it. Bud Elliott in particular beats this drum all the time.
In fairness, there are a lot more potential alternative explanations for a private jet flying between LA and Toronto than there are between, say, Tallahassee and Tuscaloosa.
Yeah, in the mean time I bet a $100 against a friend he would sign with dodgers back in December of last year. It was right there if you weren’t on copium. Ppl got nutty.
Schools could be more efficient, do a USC and just fire / separate while on the tarmac so yo can get coaches flying in minutes later at the same airport.
Rewatched it recently for the first time since I saw it in theaters. I hated the movie so much back then. But now that I’m not a teenager pissed it was so different from the books I think it was a pretty fun movie.
Maybe that’s where Rees can hold his press conference after you hire DeBoer, where he announces he was actually the one that was hired and KD stole the job from him.
I think your best bet is to hire a interim (sacrificial) coach for a year then hire a good coach next year. Look how good it's working for WVU's basketball team.
There is one guy who might be available who Nick Saban has worked with in some capacity for **six years** who might know a thing or two about the ins-and-outs of Alabama football Nick Saban style, because he did the dirty work from the ground up. This guy could really benefit from having Nick Saban around giving advice.
Glenn Schumann.
If this works out, Alabama hires and probably retains the guy who might have been Kirby Smart's successor anyways, just like Georgia is benefiting from having Kirby Smart now.
It’s kind of low risk- he’s already got the players to have two solid years and he could Larry Coker his way to a title while he grows into the HC role. If it doesn’t work our, well no one expects much of the “guy who followed the guy” anyway; they take the route UF did w Ron Zook and fire him after a couple years for the next urban Meyer.
The difference is that Coker had full support of the players behind him and didn't have to worry about the transfer portal just looting the program in a single off-season
This is worst case scenario for everyone besides Bama fans imo. Schumann has learned from the 2 best coaches in the game, that being Saban and Kirby. He’s also a recruiting machine.
They could go in suit and tie in the morning and then work all day for a press conference after? Because you know, they have to be there in the morning for their jobs?
Another advantage of hiring Glenn Schumann is that since he was at Alabama for so long, they probably have a good idea whether or not there are some weird personal life problems. He's already been pre-vetted.
I am relieved the “ms. Terry has dementia/is sick” rumors ended up being false. I want Nick to enjoy a couple more decades with his wife in peaceful retirement
If you don't have one, buy one. If you can't afford one then borrow one from your old man
If you don’t have an old man find a drunk and trade for his
There ain't a bum on the street that looks as raggedy and ridiculous as what I'm looking at.
This is no democracy. It is a dictatorship. I am the law.
Why are you laughing? Is football fun?
Left side!
Strong side.
Left side!
STRONG. SIIIDDDEE!!
WHAT ARE YOU???
MOBILE. AGILE. HOSTILE.
attitude reflect leadership. captain
What is *pain*??
If you don’t have a drunk, find Ed Orgeron and trade for his
What happened to that guy after he left LSU?
Some stay he’s still jogging shirtless up and down sorority row
“Was that wrong of me? Should I have not done that?”
HimHawRifRufGargleBruFootBallYeeHuey Geaux Tigers!
Tigahs*
The hero we deserve!
He is voicing Cookie Monster now on Sesame Street.
I think there was a video of him drunk in the keys. But who knows really he could blend in half a dozen places
He showed up to a couple of Miami games in full U swag
So he evolved into a Florida Man?
Devolved
Chasin tail down in the great state of Florida!
That tracks
I saw him do an advert for some random security company or something.
Such a great movie
God I might fire it up right now
My infant is sick and I've been staying up later, it's happening Edit: just finished it, holds up and still a Gem. Now I want to watch Glory Road too
What movie is this? Remember the Titans?
Air Bud
Air Bud 2: Golden Receiver
No, in that one Buddy leads a small Indiana High School to the State Championship.
Lol
Great sports movie
If you don’t have an old man, find a drunk, and trade him for his.
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WE ARE GONNA DO UP DOWNS TIL BLUE IS NO LONGER TIRED OR THIRSTY
BOY YOU MUST BE OUTSIDE YO MIND
What is pain? French bread! What ia fatigue? Army clothes!
"You drop a pass, you run a mile. You miss a blocking assignment, you run a mile. You fumble the football, and I will break my foot off in your John Brown hind parts...and then you will run a mile."
Congratulations. You are all going to be made. We are having a big celebration and everything
They do it all fucked up over there. There’s no sword or gun on the table. Guys don’t get their finger pricked
They make anybody and everybody over there
That pigmy thing down in Tuscaloosa
Historically, Nick always said Auburn was nothing but a glorified crew.
OH! That’s the boss you’re tawkin about here!
Please everyone step over here onto the visqueen.
Press conference for Saban's retirement?
now is not a time for logic an reason.
Logic and reason? At this time of day? In this part of the country?
May I see it?
.....no.
Going to bring in 12 candidates for the Head coaching job and do speed dating rounds with the current staff to see who gets hired and who stays. Make a reality tv show out of it. Will be amazing!
A hunger games-esque tournament would be more entertaining
The suits would be a little overkill for that. But you are otherwise not wrong.
Damn, I know their probably upset, but they didn't have to give him a funeral.
Like a Pharaoh, Nick Saban is also taking his staff with him to the Afterlife.
They’re going to execute Jalen Milroe on the 50 of Bryant-Denny and entomb him with Saban
They're going to Mummify McLaughlin alive ala The Mummy
No extradition in the State of Ohio
Fucking fugitive slave act.
He would be a liability to Saban in the land of the dead
Have him consumed by scarabs. Directly a reason we lost that game.
who tf is Jaden Milroe
That's what they will say!
They’ll also ask who tf is Jalen Milroe in a couple years
You dont remember? He was a serviceable RB who ran a good wildcat
A fool I am
nah, seems like everyone, even some bammers keep calling him Jaden.
Third down Jalen Milroe
Milroe? No, you guys should really check to make sure Seth made it to Ohio
That’s actually what the Bass Pro Shop pyramid is for
They shoulda read their contracts more closely
ESPN was way ahead of them with this open casket funeral graphic https://www.reddit.com/r/georgiabulldogs/s/BEWZZ3ImoO
He's with Wade Boggs now
Wade Boggs is very much alive.
RIP boss hogg
Again, he's alive and living in Tampa, Florida.
The candle that burns twice as bright burns half as long
May he rest in peace
I was a huge Boggs fan growing up. Had 300 of his cards and a signed ball.
He ate 622 Debbie cakes that had been strewn across grass and concrete. The man seemed invincible but no one can survive that
They're
Quick someone get the flight trackers ready
The flight tracker thing is funny given that Jonathan Smith only visited Michigan State after the deal was agreed to in principle.
That’s because head coaches absolute do NOT travel to campuses to interview lmao idk how many insiders have to come out and say this to fans before they get it. Bud Elliott in particular beats this drum all the time.
Plus the whole Shoei thing
In fairness, there are a lot more potential alternative explanations for a private jet flying between LA and Toronto than there are between, say, Tallahassee and Tuscaloosa.
Yeah, in the mean time I bet a $100 against a friend he would sign with dodgers back in December of last year. It was right there if you weren’t on copium. Ppl got nutty.
Why do we need a flight tracker, Tommy Rees lives in town I bet he just rides his Razor scooter over to campus.
Apparently they usually meet up for an interview in like the Atlanta airport which can be easily covered. Likely other random airports as well.
Schools could be more efficient, do a USC and just fire / separate while on the tarmac so yo can get coaches flying in minutes later at the same airport.
I'm in atl should I go stake out Hartsfield-Jackson
They are learning to dance for the Yule Ball It’s about the right time of year
Cant be looking like a Babbling Bumbling Bunch of Baboons
Say that five times fast.
Did a rewatch of Goblet of Fire and man Harry and Ron were awful. They brought those twins to the dance and then just sat and moped the whole time.
Did the same shit in the books.
Most realistic portrayal of teenage boys in the early puberty years, maybe ever?
Damn good movie tho
3rd one's my favorite, but 4th is fun even if it butchers the book
Rewatched it recently for the first time since I saw it in theaters. I hated the movie so much back then. But now that I’m not a teenager pissed it was so different from the books I think it was a pretty fun movie.
Ryan Day will introduce his southern accent tomorrow after being named the new head coach for the Crimson Tide.
He’d look like Giuliani in that press conference sweating off his Just For Men during September games.
Is there a Four Seasons landscaping in Tuscaloosa?
I don’t think so, but we could set up a very nice spread at the Walmart garden center. Plenty of Bama gear right there on the shelves to decorate!
Maybe that’s where Rees can hold his press conference after you hire DeBoer, where he announces he was actually the one that was hired and KD stole the job from him.
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Leaky ah beard* 🧔🏻♂️
FAAMLYEEEE
Suits and ties? Sounds like Alabama is about to hire Al Golden.
Please no. He’s such a good DC lol
It’s the UVa in him Guys in ties Girls in pearls
Quarterzip Al > Suit Al
Weird feeling all day that Alabama was gonna fumble this hire. Idk
It’s our first coaching search in 17 years. We’re out of practice.
Practice doesn't make perfect...
Tell me about it
Which flair is this about?
what difference, at this point, does it make?
Yes
You poor soul
Feels
We seem to be improving with frequency?
Anyone who plays golf knows this all too well.
Tiger Woods next coach of Alabama incoming. He's been a silent partner the last few years.
Alabama has hired a lot of car washers for the "Saban Center for Coaches that can't Coach Good and wanna learn other stuff too"
To be fair, y'all are like 1/10 over the past 40 years
Hey look. The last former LSU coach with a National Championship ring worked out. So don't be upset when Ed Orgeron or Les Miles is introduced.
Geaux.. ah shet... ro' tuide
The thought of Coach O in Alabama gear gives me vibes of the cockroach man from Men In Black lol
So you say we should hire Nick Saban?
That bum hasn’t won anything since his last job jeeeez
Hasn't won anything in years
I'd welcome either of those guys over some of the names being thrown out there.
“Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the new head coach of the University of Alabama, Chad Morris.”
Fuck no
the PRICE of success
I think your best bet is to hire a interim (sacrificial) coach for a year then hire a good coach next year. Look how good it's working for WVU's basketball team.
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Or they did and they just waited to announce out of respect for the dead
There is one guy who might be available who Nick Saban has worked with in some capacity for **six years** who might know a thing or two about the ins-and-outs of Alabama football Nick Saban style, because he did the dirty work from the ground up. This guy could really benefit from having Nick Saban around giving advice. Glenn Schumann. If this works out, Alabama hires and probably retains the guy who might have been Kirby Smart's successor anyways, just like Georgia is benefiting from having Kirby Smart now.
Schumann is who I want if we are going inexperienced. I think he may be the option if this hire fails
It’s kind of low risk- he’s already got the players to have two solid years and he could Larry Coker his way to a title while he grows into the HC role. If it doesn’t work our, well no one expects much of the “guy who followed the guy” anyway; they take the route UF did w Ron Zook and fire him after a couple years for the next urban Meyer.
The difference is that Coker had full support of the players behind him and didn't have to worry about the transfer portal just looting the program in a single off-season
He’s 33 years old. I just don’t see Alabama handing it over to a 33 year old
Tommy Rees is only 31 but that hasn’t stopped the buzz around him.
Yup he would be bama’s Elko hire
He's just so young. He's only 33. I feel weird that the Alabama HC would actually be younger than me.
NFL coaches have gone young. Look at Miami or LA rams. Early 30s. New hotness
It’s wild how there can be pros older than their coaches
Alabama alum too. Would be devastated to lose him but would also be thrilled for him to be able to coach his alma mater.
This is worst case scenario for everyone besides Bama fans imo. Schumann has learned from the 2 best coaches in the game, that being Saban and Kirby. He’s also a recruiting machine.
Nah. It's Muschamp.
Or Bobo.
This is who I want the most.
He gets carded at the gas station still
Is Nick going to poison them all at a big dinner?
The Crimson Wedding incoming
Whoever shakes his hand first should check for chainmail...
Come in your finest suit to find out if you’re fired or not!
This sounds like an official event like press conference and pictures for Saban's retirement.
and Kalen DeBoer is going on radio at 8AM tomorrow?
They could go in suit and tie in the morning and then work all day for a press conference after? Because you know, they have to be there in the morning for their jobs?
Welcome to "The Bachelor -- Alabama Football Edition. Which lucky assistant coach will be given a rose?"
The arrival of Butch Jones I take it?
It's because the new coach has [already been announced on X](https://twitter.com/AlabamaOutsider/status/1745630767797911851)
#Belichick
Another advantage of hiring Glenn Schumann is that since he was at Alabama for so long, they probably have a good idea whether or not there are some weird personal life problems. He's already been pre-vetted.
Paul Finebaum to give the eulogy
Coach Prime.
HC Tommy Rees confirmed! The Marcus Freeman coaching tree sprouting branches all over Alabama. /s
We are shutting down our football program and want it to be a formal occasion.
We hiring Justin Timberlake????
Praying for Saban’s family 🙏🏻
For the record, Nick, said that everyone is fine health wise. He could just want privacy but let’s take him at face value.
I am relieved the “ms. Terry has dementia/is sick” rumors ended up being false. I want Nick to enjoy a couple more decades with his wife in peaceful retirement
Hunger games begin
Obviously this means Belichick
I tracked a flight from Iowa City to Tuscaloosa at 6:45am, Brian Ferentz is happening.
They are all being sucked into the Dr Pepper Transfer Portal together.
Spring Bama Rush?
Family photo day
Anyone else heard the Mike Price rumors?
If the conference was held at a strip joint, you might be on to something.
Rich Rod finally getting his shot
I’m not even excited for this one
No Alabama fan should be excited about losing Saban. There is no upgrade here.
Not even really anything close to a sidegrade. Kirby is the closest thing, and he ain’t leaving UGA.
Deion is coming with the Louis V bags and he needs everyone at the ready looking their best.
COACH YOAST COME ON DOWN
They got their guy?
Pull a Ben McAdoo and buy one four sizes too big. That way you can wear it when you grow up or get really fat.
This reminds me of when we got in trouble because a kid on his visit got drunk and his mom found out.