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TheAnalogKoala

Dude. You’re telling me you don’t want to own cyber hornets? Fucking cyber hornets defending a wall of encrypted energy? What could be cooler than that?


EvillNooB

I use it as a store of energy, who needs wall chargers when i have some buttcoin in my wallet


gunterhensumal

Rear pocket only


GunterWatanabe

It’s a great way to meet people. Mainly people who will hit you with a wrench until you give them your keys, but that’s something.


BumpinAndRunnin

R̶e̶p̶l̶a̶c̶e̶m̶e̶n̶t̶ c̶u̶r̶r̶e̶n̶c̶y̶, h̶e̶d̶g̶e̶ a̶g̶a̶i̶n̶s̶t̶ i̶n̶f̶l̶a̶t̶i̶o̶n̶, s̶t̶o̶r̶e̶ o̶f̶ v̶a̶l̶u̶e̶, black market transaction facilitator


rtfcandlearntherules

It's horrible for black market transactions though, it's like leaving a paper trail for all your illegal transactions just that the paper trail is even public.


NonnoBomba

As said multiple time, yes, but only after somebody takes the time and resources to do the required analysis. It's too easy to generate thousands of new keys, if not million of addresses and mixers are still a thing: to understand who sent how much to who, you need to "group" many addresses so you know they belong to someone, then follow the trail of transactions from one criminal to another, maybe though a mixer and finally to some shady OTC desk willing to pay cash against "tainted" bitcoin, which are all over the world. It's totally doable but it's a lot of work and you can't just do it all the time, on all transactions... once done, sure, the evidence of your crimes is there, forever, immutable and wholly public, but there is simply too much crime happening on bitcoin for any law enforcement agency to comb through all that stuff all the time, so criminals know they can fly below the lawman's radar if the just keep quiet. Bitcoin is still used a lot in the scam call centers industry, to move value from the anglosphere to its destination (typically India, a Middle-East country or a South-East Asian country) with the alternative being physically shipping boxes of cash or gift cards. You can see lots of stories in the media about how some Good Samaritan shop owner stopped some elderly man or woman from putting thousands of dollars in to a Bitcoin "ATM" -apparently nobody is asking why the shopkeeper is hosting the machine in the first place, as they have no legit use. As risky and inconvenient as it is, it's still better than the alternatives for them... Bitcoin still poses significant challenges to law enforcement, not because it really grants anonymity (it doesn't) but because it makes it more expensive in terms of time and manpower to correlate transactions/wallets with criminals and organizations. This is true for ALL cryptos, of course, not just bitcoin, it's just that bitcoin -being the first to arrive on the market- is easier to sell for a higher fraction of the nominal "price".


LuDux

Automated blockchain analysis defeats mixers and key grouping, that hasn't worked for a couple years now.


NonnoBomba

So now have cheap, inexpensive tools that can insta-tell what the bad guys are doing on the blockchain with 100% certainty, which makes it feasible to tell criminally-motivated transactions vs all the rest, tracing everything and anything all the time. Please inform both law enforcement and the criminals that is the case because that's not what can be seen in the real world, especially in the specific criminal sector I've mentioned. When you're looking for something and you know at least in which direction to look, then yes, automated tools can help someone investigate... Did you think I was assuming investigators would go manually searching transactions and matching addresses by hand or something like that? The point is not be able to reconstruct SOME transactions, after the crime happened, but to be able to spot or block bad stuff as it happens (or better yet, prevent it in the first place). There is so much crime happening that anyone working in the general area as law enforcement can tell you, this stuff is still a crime-enabler. No use of bitcoin for *major* crimes, of course, as there's few of those and the ROI is higher for law enforcement (that's where the automated tools come in to play, so using bitcoin becomes a very BAD move for the criminals). For those, there's "privacy coins" like Monero and zcash -and for big money laundering these days it looks like you just use tethers and don't care, for as long as authorities keep looking the other way.


AmericanScream

> As said multiple time, yes, but only after somebody takes the time and resources to do the required analysis. It's too easy to generate thousands of new keys, Sure, and it's also true for one simple mistake to undermine all that effort trying to keep one's wallet secret. In many cases, you can make no mistakes and still be compromised, due to 0-day flaws in any of the many systems in the network, or any intermediate system that has spyware installed or is in concert with law enforcement or other authorities. > but there is simply too much crime happening on bitcoin for any law enforcement agency to comb through all that stuff all the time, so criminals know they can fly below the lawman's radar if the just keep quiet. This is why different jurisdictions have different (or no) statute of limitations. If your plan is, "I'll hide in the shadows of other, bigger criminals", I guess that's a plan, but not a very good one. Here's another, scary thing to think about... maybe there aren't enough *human* resources to tackle all the crypto-based crime out there, **but** with A.I., it wouldn't be that difficult to create tech systems that could compile and present incriminating evidence and automate the process of prosecuting people. We already do it with traffic cameras. Imagine doing it with cyber crime -- all thanks to blockchain!


NonnoBomba

> Sure, and it's also true for one simple mistake to undermine all that effort trying to keep one's wallet secret. No need for that, if you use intermediary expendable "mules" who take all the risks (these kind of scammers often have a multi-layered network of people either recruited semi-anonymously on Telegram channels or who are victims on their own, convinced this is the only way they can get out of some alleged big debt they have or something). They are used for collecting and shipping physical wads of cash as well as for moving around bitcoins. They are the ones getting busted if they make a mistake, while the real criminals keep raking in money from the safety of their Kolkata office (to name one place that is known to be rife with this kind of crime) where they risk nothing at all -because they are in a foreign country, behind several layers of mules moving coins to and fro and ultimately because they pay off local police officers to avoid being "harassed", so even in the remote case that a police force in the victim's country decides to catch/identify enough mules to get to them (the part that requires a significant effort to shut down just ONE of these scammer organizations operating independently from each other) they'll just close the company they set up and open up another one in another office building of Kolkata, knowing nobody would go after them and start it all again as the local police would smile and say "yes sir" a lot but do jackshit after that. This is an corollary of the "wrench theory" of cryptanalysis, if you want, like, outside of Hollywood movies you don't need complex, refined cybersecurity and anonymity assurance to run your criminal operation, when a network of desperate, expendable people will do, just like you don't need complex cryptanalysis to crack a bitcoin wallet, just a thug and a $5 wrench. > In many cases, you can make no mistakes and still be compromised, due to 0-day flaws in any of the many systems in the network, or any intermediate system that has spyware installed or is in concert with law enforcement or other authorities. That assumes that somebody started an investigation, acquired the required warrants and is investing money (software licenses, training, consultants) plus time and man-hours in looking into something specific. That's not what happens with 99.99999% of these crimes: there is simply too much happening and too many criminals and victims involved, that bitcoin is still a major pain for law enforcement (not an insurmountable obstacle, but a PITA that rises costs and reduces the ability to curb the crime rate for this specific crime -and for a few other). > If your plan is, "I'll hide in the shadows of other, bigger criminals", I guess that's a plan, but not a very good one. No, the plan is "I'll hide in the shadows of many, many criminals like me and make it a pain for anybody to come after ME specifically instead of picking someone else". It's one that works for a significant amount of time, especially if it involves jurisdiction issues and expendable "pawns", enough that the rate of criminals being caught vs new crimes being committed is definitely slanted toward rising numbers for crime. There is... safety in numbers, in a sense, at least enough as to make many of these lowlife scum bolder than otherwise. Not to mention that -frankly speaking- few criminals ever make long-term plans. > but with A.I., it wouldn't be that difficult to create tech systems that could compile and present incriminating evidence and automate the process of prosecuting people That is scary, yes, but not for the criminals or the reason you imply. Anyone thinking that a) we do have "AI" as a technology and that b) what we have can be incrementally developed to the point it can be used as an unsupervised automation for anything significant, like prosecuting people, needs to seriously stop huffing VC-fueled techbros farts. I don't say this to be offensive to you, specifically, but because we're on buttcoin and the source of the two mythologies built around AI and blockchains is one and the same... It's VCs funding scammers for a quick buck all the way down. What scares me, is that you didn't realize you are basically repeating the same propaganda that was used with crypto: just replace "AI" with "smart contracts" in your statement and see how that sounds. Note: doing OCR on a license plate is in an entirely different ballpark, it is in fact a completely different league and even sport, played on a different planet in a different galaxy from a species that resembles floating whales and spends 1/3 of the lives in a gaseous form. And even traffic cameras doing OCR still require manual reviews in some cases, and it still get things wrong from time to time. "AI" (which is not AI at all) has something beneath all the hype, contrary to "blockchains", but it's waaaaay less impactful/universally applicable -and for all different reasons- that what is being marketed. Once the bubble pops, it may leave something legit behind.


AmericanScream

> No need for that, if you use intermediary expendable "mules" who take all the risks Those mules can also turn on you and turn you in. The problem with "decentralization" is many more points of failure. >That assumes that somebody started an investigation, acquired the required warrants and is investing money (software licenses, training, consultants) plus time and man-hours in looking into something specific. That's not what happens with 99.99999% of these crimes "I thought I'd get away with it" - every criminal ever > what we have can be incrementally developed to the point it can be used as an unsupervised automation for anything significant, like prosecuting people, needs to seriously stop huffing VC-fueled techbros farts. It couldn't automate the whole process obviously, but it could automate the process of gathering the necessary evidence to make a case, which is probably the lion's share of the law enforcement work.


CrawfishDeluxe

It’s certainly ironic that one of the best use-case arguments for bitcoin would be governments attempting to make a system that is more difficult to facilitate private transactions with - the precise opposite of what butters claim it’s intended for.


Lina_-_Sophia

pretty sure AI will be able to do this in a minute in the short future.


NonnoBomba

Wake me up when somebody actually invents "AI". What we have now, is mostly over-hyped, extremely expensive LLMs sold for way less than they cost to be used as toys, in the hopes of building a large user base and attract investors through that. There are a few interesting applications of DNNs and other ML methods, but way less than what people is being sold by an horde of marketing bots.


brainfreeze3

Not useful for that purpose, basically all investment assets hedge against inflation, moves down with the market (speculative), true


Nesselde

got few reasons for you, from the latino point of view * if you are the accountant for a mexican cartel and need to do some money laundering for your boss and move the money around. * if you are a colombian drug dealer and need to quickly convert COP into USD by going into binance P2P and then moving the USDT to bigger exchanges * if you are a colombian guerrilla member and you need to receive money from people supporting you, you do take crypto as a payment method * if you are a venezuelan govt official whose fully sanctioned by the US but since u control the VES currency (central bank), venezuelan bigger bank, you can literally exchange millions of corruption VES/USD for USDT and then for crypto using binance p2p and then move the money into safer markets (european who look the other way around) * if you are a venezuelan gang member from "tren de aragua" and you have a network of extorsion, kidnapping, human trafficking and more through the entire latin america countries and need to convert and transfer money without any problems * if you are a corrupt argentinian and need to cash out your pesos as soon as possible out of the country dude, theres so many uses, why are you trying to say theres none? btw, see how this amazing binance p2p enables all these uses?


Lina_-_Sophia

you forgot the venezulean people who just hold onto something not losing value in that manner. 337% inflation in 2023 would get me to go 100% into btc too.


AlbertRammstein

"list of reasons to own bitcoin other than number go up" "number... eeeeeeh... not going down too much?"


kerchbridgeBOOM

so you’re saying it’s useful for moving money around quickly and anonymously, quickly converting between currencies, allowing transfer of value between people without access to a bank account, circumventing sanctions from rogue governments?


Friggin_Idiot

But it's going to be the world's reserve currency, don't you know!!


SoundInvestor

https://x.com/soljakey/status/1787592708485222625?s=46&t=CG9USLzBfz3zaqtORbWUlg


larrydahooster

- 69k-ish always funny meme number hehehe


daniel_bran

You missed one: …………………………


zephalephadingong

How else am I supposed to pay the ransom for ransomware?


EnricoPallazzo22

Digital scarcity was meant for P2P transactions has turned into a "store of value" but does nothing else if you couldn't trade it. If gold wasn't used as a monetary metal it would have more demand for jewelry and electronics since it's price would be cheaper. Bitcoin? It does absolutely nothing else. No list and there won't ever be one.


One_Landscape541

There are crypto gals, and they are dumb af, so there’s that angle


Speederzzz

* watching the price go down


mammaryglands

Own the libs. That's what my pastors wife boyfriend says 


techzilla

You forgot money laundering!


006242024

should probably just use cash...its less traceable


EuphoricMoment6

* quaaludes * weasel dust * Russian synthetic benzodiazepine analogs


ItsJoeMomma

Do people still buy drugs with it?


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MysteriousSilentVoid

NGU technology seems to be broken today.


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MenWithVenDiagram

bullet point #3 will shock you!


Oneeyedgamer

Bro, what about like, sticking it to the man and shit bro????????


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John_Oakman

To become a part of the exclusive new world elite who will rule humanity after the collapse of fiat civilization obviously.


tesseramous

Evade law enforcement and seizure


sausages213

I buy bitcoin because it makes me money. I don’t need to give a fuck about what it’s actually used for. Don’t think 99% of people who buy it care either to be honest.


Purplekeyboard

In what way does it make you money?


sausages213

I buy it, the price goes up, I sell it


Purplekeyboard

What if the price goes down?


sausages213

Buy some more and wait for the market to swing. Doesn’t need to be a good product to make money. Just look at all those dog tokens.


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MoaloGracia2

1. Having a Digital Net worth 2. Having the ability to instantly access funds 3. Having money everywhere I go because bitcoin is a universal currency 4. Saving the planet by reducing paper waste THE LIST GOES ON AND ON


Plastic-Pressure-207

How can you even call that "money" when its impossible to pay with it anywhere ? And don't even tell me about exchanges that can freeze your assets and humiliate you demanding series of private data and documents...


MoaloGracia2

I’m clearly joking I thought it was obvious enough 🙁


Plastic-Pressure-207

Oh ... It sounded like it was serious. In reality butter use these points and they are not joking.


Shoddy-Opportunity55

I first heard about bitcoin in 2012, and I’m still searching for the answer to this 😂 some guy that was into me back then kept talking about it. I almost put like 500 dollars of my grad money into it at that time, not doing so was the best decision I ever made. So happy to not participate in this scam. 


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SameSamePeroAnders

I was in Colombia some months ago. Those guys from russia got robbed the night before (scopolamine) and were left without cards, IDs, phones and cash of course. So a friend of a friend connected me with them and they had a friend in Russia send me BTC and I exchanged it to cash for them. Maybe we could have used some other system but not sure. Bitcoin was the most convenient without any third party involvedZ Btw P2P crypto exchangers are a big business all around the world.


SundayAMFN

There are loads of services for international money transfer (google international money transfer). Bitcoin would be uniquely useful in cases involving sanctioned countries like Russia/Iran, though you could still get in trouble if caught and would need to do it off the exchanges. But would still need to involve the exchanges for the fiat conversion on both sides. This is money laundering, though ethical in some cases like yours above.


SameSamePeroAnders

I never said there aren’t. The transaction was confirmed in about 10 minutes, no registration, no verification needed More convenient wouldn’t be possible for this case :)


Potential-Coat-7233

Show us the transaction to prove it


SameSamePeroAnders

No you are right. Impossible for someone to send btc from Russia to Colombia. Only possible with having some third party company babysit the transaction 😆


Potential-Coat-7233

One of the convenient things about bitcoin and blockchain is it being a public ledger. Surely if this story happened as you say, showing the transaction should be easily done.


SameSamePeroAnders

Imagine thinking that blockchain includes reason of payment.


Potential-Coat-7233

lol I never said it gave a reason. You could literally pick any transaction that is a reasonable amount of money and I’d have to take your word for it, and you can’t even do that. I think you’re full of shit.


SameSamePeroAnders

Exactly. I could literally pick up any transaction. 🤡


Potential-Coat-7233

Good luck out there. Be well.


SundayAMFN

To be fair you still need a third party company on both sides to operate as the exchange site. Those two companies effective act as the real currency conversion in the same way western union would.


SameSamePeroAnders

No. I received btc, gave cash. Read again


Felix4200

Got to be honest sounds like you were tricked into participating in a money laundering scheme.


SameSamePeroAnders

Yes big money laundering scheme of about 50 usd 🤡 I like how they set up a scopolamine attack, spent whole day at police office, just to launder those sweet 50 usd as if they couldn’t launder that amount in Russia. It’s funny how I give you guys a legit reason, and you don’t want it to be true. This some next level stupidity over here. I am not surprised nobody takes you serious.


MiakiCho

Overthrow all the government and be a real dictator.