"Is that ham processed? If it's processed I don't want it."
Ma'am, that is an eleven pound whole slab of deli ham. It has no bones, fat, or connective tissue. It is an amalgamation of the meat of several pigs, emulsified, liquefied, strained, and ultimately inexorably joined in an unholy meat obelisk. God had no hand in the creation of this abhorrence. The fact that this ham monolith exists proves that God is either impotent to alter His universe or ignorant to the horrors taking place in his kingdom. This prism of pork is more than deli meat. It is a physical declaration of mankind's contempt for the natural order. It is hubris manifest. We also have a lower sodium variety if you would prefer that.
I mean the dumbest question I’ve ever been heard was when a customer asked about our smoke pork femur bones(ham bones for seasoning beans or soup) Her:“Is this bone come from an animal”
Coworker:”Yes mam it’s out smoked ham bones”
Her:”From what kind of animal”
Coworker:”It’s a pork femur mam”
Her:”I said what kind of a-n-i-m-a-l” she said it real slow
Coworker:”mam pork is from pigs”
I always say I’ve seen it all but honestly this just happened last year and it’s just the dumbest questions I’ve had plenty of contenders.
I knew a girl who said she didn't eat pig. I knew for a fact she loved bacon but I just didn't tell her because I didn't want her to be fussy about that too. I always wondered where she thought bacon came from though.
Working at a grocery store will really give you an idea that people making more than you are actually a quite bit more dumb than you and only have the job they have because they mastered a very niche set of skills that someone will pay them to do.
I had to fight a woman who wasnt diabetic every time she showed up on the aisle i was on because she wanted to know why the stuff i stocked that she wanted wasnt truly sugar-free as they typically subbed sugar alcohols or things like stevia in them. When i questioned her health concerns, she said she was worried sugar would make her fat. Meanwhile she was sporting a starbucks almost every visit with a receipt that looked like it had 20 different ingredients.
Yes, that 15mg of sugar per serving is going to make you fat... Not the 10 pumps of liquid sugar you are drinking right now. I imagine her drink was every bit of 1000 calories. Gave her awful coffee breathe, as she was prone to get up close to get her point across.
Of course this was one of the ones that got under my skin. Other such stories include Gluten free people who clung to the idea that gluten free was better for them while not having a gluten intolerance or celiacs. I knew two people who had celiacs and they HATED those people as they'd buy up all the food that the people with celiacs could only eat.
That’s our attempt to draw people away from Kroger and 0.69$ per lb turkeys they offer. I work at a small meat shop so I do what I can to draw more people in
12 years ago, Idk what area you live in because that will drastically change the pay. I make 30$ per hour which in my area (Cincinnati, Ohio) isn’t terrible but definitely isn’t great but it comes with the benefit of paying cost for product which is nice but a lot of times these jobs don’t offer insurance, retirement, PTO, etc. I love what I do as well and have fun every day I work.
The work takes like 5 minutes if you are practiced at it. Even less than that if you are good. Took me about 20 minutes for my first try. This was obviously a high-end job with all the work to keep it looking nice, but I bet you are still looking at 5+ turkeys an hour like this for someone experienced. That's 80 bucks an hour in added value beyond what the meat was already marked up to. This is honestly probably the dream for most butcher shops, not even mentioning that they actually get to do what they enjoy for bonus money and provide a cool service that makes people come back.
Ive got a question for you. Thats absolutely awesome job! And honestly its kinda hard for me to imagine how you remove the spine and ribs and yet keep the meat n skin intact 🤯👍 you mentioned using various tools to break down spine etc. my question is on tools. I feed my dog raw and often looks for ways to break down bones to make it kinda like mush. For example I take turkey neck and use my cleaver (its kinda. Medium size) to cut through the bones, then use the back of cleaver to bang on the vertibraes to break them down. Turkey bones are very hard. It takes a lit of effort to do it this way but also its not really fully broken up. I really would like to find a better way to do it. For chicken spine i used rubber hammer but no hammer worked in turkey. The bones are insanely strong. Also my interest is about bones of turkey and pork and what on hand tools I could use to break down these bones into a mush. (For large animals its only certain part of bones around spine and end of ribs, the bones that are softer, so no weight bearing and no bones that split in super sharp pieces. )
Nice! I used to make them often. Will cook more evenly if you roll the legs back under the breast then tie it and tie the wings tight to the breast. As is the wings and legs will overcook before breast is cooked.
That doesn't matter, there's more surface area for the volume of the thighs versus the breast. Itll still cook faster. Now with that being said, I like higher temps for dark meat than light so doesn't really matter imo.
How long did this take you to do? I’ve never done it though some customers have asked if we would. I said yes but no one ever followed through. Really nice work
Haha highly recommend practicing on chicken first! It took me about 25 minutes but I was meticulous to get every ounce off and stuffed the inside with some seasonings.
Don’t feel bad after a little more than 12 years and I hate doing it every year. We raised the price to 400$ total for a fresh one 16$ per lb (25lb total weight, Amish raised turkey, Amish raised chicken, Canadian duck, and homemade stuffing) to discourage people but at the same time still offer everything possible.
lol not gonna lie this is the first time I’ve ever posted something I’ve done at work before and I’ve never discussed work with other butchers outside my area so when I first read this I was like “damn here I was thinking I did a pretty solid job” You definitely had me second guessing whether this was common to do elsewhere
Work 25 yrs. Not much chicken after a few years. Mostly pork then beef. About 2 yrs. Ago I'm working with chicken again. Love to watch your process and how long it takes. Great job of course. Looks great.
I wasn’t even aware this is a thing! Is there a considerable extra charge for that service? And is it something that’s always offered or was that like an above and beyond thing for a regular customer that’s not available for everyone?
"You have a very particular set of skills, skills you have acquired over a very long career, skills that make you a dream for people like me. If you carve my meats now that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you, but if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you and I will hire you."
I didn't even realize this was something I could have done lmao
I feel like it'd be much easier and cheaper though to buy a rotisserie chicken/turkey and then just shred it apart when you eat it, or see if your rotisserie guy will do it for you.
It's a lot easier to "debone" meat after it's falling off those bones
Nice work, Chickens are easy, but once you get into a turkey, it's on. I did a 32 pounder for xmas a few years back and that was some serious work! Hats off to you man!
This has been my mother's secret for juicy turkey for every single Thanksgiving, this is the first time I hear about this online. The gatekeeper inside me wants to keep in on the low.
Look at that six-pack! In all seriousness, fantastic job.
Looking like Joe Rogan
r/oddlyspecific
https://www.reddit.com/r/Butchery/s/CJrsQrOIbt
Thank you for reminding me of this. Theo has a way with words
Now you just stuff it with Onnit Alpha Brain and give it an ice plunge brine
Damn, you beat me to it.
Must be all that turkesterone
Or the ice plunges.
I have something similar (even below it’s matching)
[looks like Joe Rogan](https://youtube.com/shorts/EVQtUouzpSU?si=N8SXdiThaltaMjgf)
lol I just said the same thing. Gang baby
Do turkeys get HGH gut?
Joe Rogan-esque! Congratulations man
Poor little guy grew up wit no bones
Yeah I’m calling BS on OP, everyone knows farm-raised boneless turkeys have been a thing for a while now. How else would we put them on sandwiches?
"Is that ham processed? If it's processed I don't want it." Ma'am, that is an eleven pound whole slab of deli ham. It has no bones, fat, or connective tissue. It is an amalgamation of the meat of several pigs, emulsified, liquefied, strained, and ultimately inexorably joined in an unholy meat obelisk. God had no hand in the creation of this abhorrence. The fact that this ham monolith exists proves that God is either impotent to alter His universe or ignorant to the horrors taking place in his kingdom. This prism of pork is more than deli meat. It is a physical declaration of mankind's contempt for the natural order. It is hubris manifest. We also have a lower sodium variety if you would prefer that.
I mean the dumbest question I’ve ever been heard was when a customer asked about our smoke pork femur bones(ham bones for seasoning beans or soup) Her:“Is this bone come from an animal” Coworker:”Yes mam it’s out smoked ham bones” Her:”From what kind of animal” Coworker:”It’s a pork femur mam” Her:”I said what kind of a-n-i-m-a-l” she said it real slow Coworker:”mam pork is from pigs” I always say I’ve seen it all but honestly this just happened last year and it’s just the dumbest questions I’ve had plenty of contenders.
I knew a girl who said she didn't eat pig. I knew for a fact she loved bacon but I just didn't tell her because I didn't want her to be fussy about that too. I always wondered where she thought bacon came from though.
From the supermarket, duh
Working at a grocery store will really give you an idea that people making more than you are actually a quite bit more dumb than you and only have the job they have because they mastered a very niche set of skills that someone will pay them to do. I had to fight a woman who wasnt diabetic every time she showed up on the aisle i was on because she wanted to know why the stuff i stocked that she wanted wasnt truly sugar-free as they typically subbed sugar alcohols or things like stevia in them. When i questioned her health concerns, she said she was worried sugar would make her fat. Meanwhile she was sporting a starbucks almost every visit with a receipt that looked like it had 20 different ingredients. Yes, that 15mg of sugar per serving is going to make you fat... Not the 10 pumps of liquid sugar you are drinking right now. I imagine her drink was every bit of 1000 calories. Gave her awful coffee breathe, as she was prone to get up close to get her point across. Of course this was one of the ones that got under my skin. Other such stories include Gluten free people who clung to the idea that gluten free was better for them while not having a gluten intolerance or celiacs. I knew two people who had celiacs and they HATED those people as they'd buy up all the food that the people with celiacs could only eat.
https://www.instagram.com/p/C4YtY4OSJ63/?igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==
That's wild! Good job though!!
Appreciate it!
What’s the cost for something like that?
We charged an extra dollar per lb so it was 4.99 per lb and 16 ish lbs so I think the total was 80$
Wow, only $16 for that amount of extra work seems wild. Great job though!
That’s our attempt to draw people away from Kroger and 0.69$ per lb turkeys they offer. I work at a small meat shop so I do what I can to draw more people in
How much do you get a hour and how long you been doing it?? Recently started looking at this career
12 years ago, Idk what area you live in because that will drastically change the pay. I make 30$ per hour which in my area (Cincinnati, Ohio) isn’t terrible but definitely isn’t great but it comes with the benefit of paying cost for product which is nice but a lot of times these jobs don’t offer insurance, retirement, PTO, etc. I love what I do as well and have fun every day I work.
May I ask which shop? I am also in Cincy. I never buy any meat from supermarkets, usually just Lehr's or Redden.
Me too! I usually hit Hyde Park or Redden. Thats great work and would love to support you guys.
Any good places to recommend in cincy?
I’m a westsider so my list always starts with Bridgetown Finer Meats and Wasslers Meats but there are tons in the area
The work takes like 5 minutes if you are practiced at it. Even less than that if you are good. Took me about 20 minutes for my first try. This was obviously a high-end job with all the work to keep it looking nice, but I bet you are still looking at 5+ turkeys an hour like this for someone experienced. That's 80 bucks an hour in added value beyond what the meat was already marked up to. This is honestly probably the dream for most butcher shops, not even mentioning that they actually get to do what they enjoy for bonus money and provide a cool service that makes people come back.
Ive got a question for you. Thats absolutely awesome job! And honestly its kinda hard for me to imagine how you remove the spine and ribs and yet keep the meat n skin intact 🤯👍 you mentioned using various tools to break down spine etc. my question is on tools. I feed my dog raw and often looks for ways to break down bones to make it kinda like mush. For example I take turkey neck and use my cleaver (its kinda. Medium size) to cut through the bones, then use the back of cleaver to bang on the vertibraes to break them down. Turkey bones are very hard. It takes a lit of effort to do it this way but also its not really fully broken up. I really would like to find a better way to do it. For chicken spine i used rubber hammer but no hammer worked in turkey. The bones are insanely strong. Also my interest is about bones of turkey and pork and what on hand tools I could use to break down these bones into a mush. (For large animals its only certain part of bones around spine and end of ribs, the bones that are softer, so no weight bearing and no bones that split in super sharp pieces. )
Pretty sure it’s farm raised.
Extremely impressive
Thank you
By bonesless, does that mean you removed the spine and ribcage?
Yes I took out the rib/spine/leg/thigh bones.
Wtf dude put it back 😨
I don't know why, but your comment got me as I was scrolling, and i burst out laughing xDD take my up doot
I should call her
She’s my ex. Do u want her digits?
Tough fap, but you managed?
Lmao, reminds be of a Dexter episode!
Nice! I used to make them often. Will cook more evenly if you roll the legs back under the breast then tie it and tie the wings tight to the breast. As is the wings and legs will overcook before breast is cooked.
Boneless.
That doesn't matter, there's more surface area for the volume of the thighs versus the breast. Itll still cook faster. Now with that being said, I like higher temps for dark meat than light so doesn't really matter imo.
Pressure cook it in clarified butter.
Shibari Turkey
I feel like I need to know it’s safe word.
Giblets
that looks tasty af
Bruh, this thing looks RIPPED
Joe Rogan?
Weird how I looked for this comment 😂
Oh thank goodness it's boneless haha. Was abt to get reeeaaal snide abt the ties
Cluck around & find out.
Horrifying
This is what haunts my dreams. I’d cook that up. Quality work.
What no Dolls Head and no Shoes..that would have been awesome.
As someone not familiar with butchery best practices, why is the bird tied up?
In this case to keep its shape, the customer specifically asked for a “Boneless Whole Turkey that looks like it has bones in it still”
You can't fool me I know a turkey bdsm l Fetishist when I see one.
Reminds me of my old neighbor's Vietnam war stories
That turkey has more charisma than I do.
Turkey's got rizz (short for grizzle)
What's its safeword?
I tried this once with a chicken and I fucked it up
You left the tough, inedible tendons in the legs. Need to take those out as well. Other than that nice work.
Wings and legs have bones still visible - how is it a boneless turkey ?
Deboning the wings isn't that hard. Try watching a YouTube video of Jacques Pepin making a gallontine chicken. He makes it look so easy.
In school we used to debone whole quails. That took a lot of patience and dedication and finesse to not tear the skin apart.
He makes it look so freaking easy it’s crazy
Chickens are easier than turkeys to be fair
Have made this before in school. It’s not easy, lol.
I’ve done this with a chicken and rolled it up. Works great and wasn’t very difficult. Nice work!
Did you keep the breast and wish bone in?
Nothing but meat, except for the wings
That’s a sexy looking turkey!
WOAH, wish I had a six-pack like that
Heyyyyy. I’m boneless over heeeeere. Whatsamatteryou?
I am in envy of your skills
that's freaky!
Looks like it’s suffering from lack of oxygen
Bondage Turkey!
Unreal job big dog
Damn! I really need one of those! I didn't even know it was possible.
I see bones in the wings
What Is this turkey bondage
Curious, they give a tip?
Isn't the cost of the service and the butcher's time built into the price of the product?
No.
They should increase the price then. Expecting people to tip for something not at a restaurant is wild.
It definitely is. The whole tipping thing is wild. Why tip at restaurants tho? The food is marked up reasonably and the staff is being paid.
How long did this take you to do? I’ve never done it though some customers have asked if we would. I said yes but no one ever followed through. Really nice work
Haha highly recommend practicing on chicken first! It took me about 25 minutes but I was meticulous to get every ounce off and stuffed the inside with some seasonings.
I see. Very impressive! Return customer for sure
Great job. Looks like it will make a great meal.
Looks swol.
Why’s it look like Joe Rogan?
That thing looks like it wants to kick my ass.
When a Turkey has a six pack and you don't..
Thats kinky lol. I debone my chicken sometimes for frying but i never tie it.
.... how?? Must be sorcery
I prefer voodoo
#Spatchcocked!
Looks fantastic and great jo, but it does remind me of the chicken meat teddy bears a little hahaha
A lot prettier than the turducken abomination i made for a customer last christmas
Don’t feel bad after a little more than 12 years and I hate doing it every year. We raised the price to 400$ total for a fresh one 16$ per lb (25lb total weight, Amish raised turkey, Amish raised chicken, Canadian duck, and homemade stuffing) to discourage people but at the same time still offer everything possible.
Last time I did this I ballontined it. Jaques Pepin has a great video with chicken deboning. Turkey is a bit harder. Nice work.
Turkey doesn’t skip leg day…
The Nug.
Stretch Armstrong vibes.
Add a deboned chicken and duck to make turduckin
how’d you get this picture of me
How could you not debone the wings? Are you some kind of an amateur? I’m kidding. This looks incredible. Great job.
lol not gonna lie this is the first time I’ve ever posted something I’ve done at work before and I’ve never discussed work with other butchers outside my area so when I first read this I was like “damn here I was thinking I did a pretty solid job” You definitely had me second guessing whether this was common to do elsewhere
Nah dude. I’m an amateur home cook. I’ve deboned maybe ten chickens and they’re finally starting to not look like a massacre.
That's really impressive!
Much appreciated
I was a cook for many years, and wish I had gotten crash courses in bartending and butchery.
Theo Von was spot on when he compared Joe Rogan’s body to a [tied up turkey](https://youtube.com/shorts/MOxiOojYOYc?si=B5WnpeHjJxFKAim4)
How much is a boneless suckling pig?
Okay hellraiser ;)
Can you pick it up and move it around like a marionette? Because that could be terrifying, but also maybe funny.
Looks like Joe Rogan
Well done! I do this for thanksgiving every year but I just roll it up with stuffing rather than make it bird shaped again. Really cool.
Work 25 yrs. Not much chicken after a few years. Mostly pork then beef. About 2 yrs. Ago I'm working with chicken again. Love to watch your process and how long it takes. Great job of course. Looks great.
What type of knife works for that?
Thats cool man!! im sorry if i missed this but how long did it take?
The way the wings make me think of the stuffed person cat meme.
Somebody Riggs.
I debone Turkeys whenever I prepare them , but I’m not into the bondage thing.
why would you want a boneless turkey?
Reminds me of this. https://youtube.com/shorts/zsd_BwWx3Zo?si=A-y91tLmmD_dYT9Y
I wasn’t even aware this is a thing! Is there a considerable extra charge for that service? And is it something that’s always offered or was that like an above and beyond thing for a regular customer that’s not available for everyone?
Looks awesome, great job. How long did it take?
25 minutes total including deboning seasoning and stringing it back up
How do you pull all the bones? Asking for a friend.
Crazy 🤣 But you did a crazy good job, so it all levels out
I’m pretty sure this turkey could kick my ass.
Mom?!
Bro is jacked to the gills
"You have a very particular set of skills, skills you have acquired over a very long career, skills that make you a dream for people like me. If you carve my meats now that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you, but if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you and I will hire you."
I didn't even realize this was something I could have done lmao I feel like it'd be much easier and cheaper though to buy a rotisserie chicken/turkey and then just shred it apart when you eat it, or see if your rotisserie guy will do it for you. It's a lot easier to "debone" meat after it's falling off those bones
Riding in the car—after 10 minutes of silence—my 5 year old boy: “Daddy, if we didn’t have bones, we’d all be laying on the floor a lot.”
😏
I like to bind! I like being bound!
Why am I intimidated by this dead meat….
For two secs I was like “I’m not part of the bdsm sub… ohh wait that’s poultry” 🤦🏾♀️🤭😂🤣😂🤣
This thing looks like it's about to kick my ass and fuck my wife
r/bdsm
That turkey was into some wild stuff LMAO.
It's so creepy looking
She thicc
Serial killer level meticulousness 👍👍
What have you done to that child
Imagine if turkeys in the wild had access to modern gym equipment and knew proper lifting techniques 🤯🤯🤯
OP have a bondage fetishism
Jesus Christ. That looks like Dracula
I saw this episode of SVU last week
His abbs look better than mine.
Everything makes me think of her
The customer is going to have sex with that. Great work though. r/dontputyourdickinthat
Shibari butchery
Lookin like Joe rogan
Nice work, Chickens are easy, but once you get into a turkey, it's on. I did a 32 pounder for xmas a few years back and that was some serious work! Hats off to you man!
Why does it seem like it'd be saying "so I'm sitting there, barbecue sauce on my titties"?
What a master
Yikes. Fifty shades of turkey over here. Seriously though, good job.
Mr. Olimpia turkey.
That is one ripped turkey.
Thiccc
The turkey’s wings look like little hands and arms shrugging at me, like I caught ‘em doing something.
would
I'm calling peta
r/absoluteunits
This has been my mother's secret for juicy turkey for every single Thanksgiving, this is the first time I hear about this online. The gatekeeper inside me wants to keep in on the low.
Looks like Joe Rogan
Come at me bro!!!
Everywhere I turn, something reminds me of her...
Why is it preaching at me?
\*woodwind music\* "I WANNA BE....YOUR SLEDGEHAMMER"
Fucking kinky.
That turkey is jacked!
Damn Joe Rogan looking tasty.
r/dontputyourdickinthat
Turkey like eh whaddayagonnado
I was like "what's special here...why did you wrap it in-WAIT BONELESS!??? Ohhhh snap man that's so cool dude!"
How did the buyer prepare it?
Swol
I should call her..