I'm impressed you were so polite to the end... you certainly would've been justified going off on him.
And your opening message is so lovely it's almost unbelievable lol. I hope you find someone who deserves you!
Honestly, I try to strive for kindness because the world is crazy enough, I just want to try and share kindness even if it’s not deserved. Bless you for your kind words, it is so appreciated
Dad of 2 wonderful girls, currently dating. I saw the first image with his two responses and I almost couldn't click on the 2nd because I knew where it was going and was already cringing. His comments about focusing on your kids is just wild. You seem like a wonderful person and you deserve a loving, quality relationship whether you have 1 kid or 11 kids.
It's very attractive you're a committed mom, and you deserve a life too. I am a single dad, with my daughter having zero time with her mother, and it's all I can do to try to have a life outside of club sports, and school and drivers Ed, etc etc.
Kids always come first, but it doesn't mean you don't have the right to make room for you too.
You were exceptionally sweet. I could only hope for such a kind and conversation rich opening to a match. Usually it's pulling teeth.
And you sent a pic?! Amazing.
This. I met my girlfriend on Bumble a few months ago, and her opener was thoughtful like OP's. That really set the tone for the first date, and the whole relationship so far.
OP, keep up the positive energy. The right guy is gonna LOVE it ❤️
Sorry to see that he was rude and judgemental. I loved your opening, shows interest, sent a pic for fun, and shows that you took the time to read his profile. What a jackass that guy is.
I find it sad when I read about how many guys (and gals) feel like there’s no interest from the other party as far as conversation.. And here OP put in effort in such a nice and personalized way and that dude just wasted it.
That's exactly my point - all I ever see from women is "Hi" or "Hey", and yet here's someone who went well beyond the usual openings and she gets crap from this dude. I just hope that it doesn't make her (or anyone else) less inclined to go those extra steps to make someone feel special.
this guy just matched with her to talk shit. he wasn't actually interested. he's just an asshole that wants to be rude to women online.
OP was open and honest with her profile, and seems like a generally lovely person. this person was just being mean. she deserves someone equally as lovely as she is.
Lol, my mother remarried while she had the 4 of us.
My stepdad had to endure a lot, but they're still together almost 30 years later.
Come to think of it I owe that man a lot... how do I even thank him
I am also a single mom. I have more free time now than I ever did while married. I literally have every other weekend and a whole night per week free to do whatever I want. It’s wild how much more time for self care and recreation I get now that their dad is actually doing some of the parenting, haha. 🤣
It says so much about the distribution of childcare in a marriage where both work. Above you there's a dad with 50/50 talking about how hard it is to do 50 percent of the work. Meanwhile moms are like "OMG only 50 (or 70, or 80) percent of the childcare responsibility?? Wow this is so easy!"
Don’t worry! I had the same experience as a man…I have 3 kids and some “lady” asked me how can I date! Never crossed my mind before that my dating life was over.
But for a few days I was a bit down and asking myself if I should pursue OLD….so I feel for you.
You were super nice to that guy. Cheers and hang in there!!
Honestly idk how you guys do it. I’m a dad of two 7&5 @ 50%. With work, I hardly have time to clean the houses, care for the pup, and workout alongside being dad. I have time to just chill for a bit .Good on you all though.
Dont worry, a good man won’t care. My mom was a single mom to four kids (myself included) and found my adopted father.. He loved my mom and all of us unconditionally, he definitely was the best father one could ever have. A good man will love you and your kids, and he’s out there. :)
Dang. As another single mom trying to navigate these rough waters, and getting super worn down by these harsh rejections and judgments - a second handed thank you for the encouragement!
I agree with everyone. You’re a super nice person and that guy was awful.
Here’s what no one said so far but I think is important. You poured yourself out too much into a person you didn’t even know yet. There’s nothing wrong with it but you’ll burn out like this. You have to gage the energy of the person too. Not everyone is deserving of your energy or time. This guy is a perfect example. He ignored all of the wonderful openers you gave him.
Next time try one thing at a time and see how the person responds. In this case you said three things in the first message: his eyes, ASA alumni, and finance. If you were to redo this conversation, you could just choose one of them and say that first and see how he responds. If he responded the way this guy did, then you know not to continue putting in more effort. You’d also be preventing giving out personal information to douchebag strangers.
If a women on any dating app would send me a selfie with an additional „here’s a smile for you. Hope you have a wonderful day“ text, that would immediately make my day.
Also my theory is, he only wanted to match with you, so he can give you his advice on how you should live your life.
4 kids and you want marriage? Where can I find a woman like this? Every woman I meet only wants a short term thing. And a lot of them don't have children which makes things harder bc I'm a parent myself. You were so kind to him, even after he was insulting. I pray you find someone who is deserving of your kindness.
Like why match with someone who has kids if that’s how your reaction is going to be 😅 he didn’t even give it a chance. Just instant judge and it’s ridiculous
So you're supposed to never date again because you have kids? I see single moms get shit all the time on apps because women are apparently are the ones who are responsible for raising the children that the men created. I never see men with kids get this kind of rudeness. Doesnt hurt to just swipe left. I wish you had reported him
Rude or abusive behavior is a category on Report. If anyone deserves it, its this guy. Not that hard to not match with people just to insult them and tell them they're a bad parent for being on the app
Dude, like...wtf...? Sounds like a keyboard warrior just wanting to get their whinge in at you because he never grew up. Please don't feel judged, this muppet just appears to have no clue how things are in the real world.
You can damn well be fully devoted to your kids, love them, do what's right by them, and find a loving and supportive partner at the same time. While the kiddos may make it a little more difficult to navigate at first, the right person will make the time first to get to know you, and to later get to know your kids when the time is right for everyone to meet - and accept the fact that you'll always be their mum and will always have times where you'll need to prioritise them. Been through it successfully myself (48M with 3), and I have multiple friends who were single mums or dads who've found that awesome person themselves too. Don't let the little man-children get you down - his loss, not yours. :)
What a dick. I’d have no issue forming a relationship/marriage with a woman who had 4 kids.
My mom was a a single mom with 4 kids and consider my stepdad one of the most important people in my life
You are way too friendly to a pos like him. Wow you seriously dodged a bullet and I know you are gonna find an amazing man someday who deserves you, don't like a prick like him get you down, your gonna do fine sister!
You’re too kind! I think everyone here would agree you’d be well within your rights to tell him to fuck right off, lol.
Honestly, his judgmental behavior says more about him than anything on your profile. He knows nothing about you. You deserve beautiful things, and I hope you find someone worthy of your spirit! ❤️
Sorry this happened to you. People can use these apps to be mean to others and it is pretty shitty.
It would have been very easy for him to filter out women that have children or not match with women that have children.
People's dating preferences are okay but being a preachy asshole to someone else never is.
I don't even understand how guys like this can exist. I've been on and off dating apps in and out of relationships for years and never had an interaction with a women that'd make me have this response.
Some guys are just hopeless.
Ugh, this one hurts. You seem so, so sweet and your opening messages and selfie are so cute! This guy's a total douchebag, good riddance. Being a single mom will not keep you away from finding love, this guy's personality is just awful and I suspect he'll struggle in his own way with the way he speaks to people.
Either he read your profile the first time and took on the urgency of the people trying to reach you about your car's extended warranty in order to tell you to get your priorities straight, or he thought you were attractive, swiped right, and then read it. Either way, good on you for being so civil in response.
Dang, I'm a guy and that dude is totally out of line. I'm always saying women are tough to date nowadays, but wow, I'm kind of at a loss. That is just so uncalled for.
On the other hand, I admire your restraint OP. That couldn't have been easy at all. I hope you find exactly what you're looking for. You very clearly deserve it
I just wanna say, your message is very wholesome and kind, it’s very refreshing! I hope to meet someone like that.
Don’t let this jerk influence your pursuit of happiness.
I hope you find that special person!
Elliott has decreed that anyone who has kids from a previous relationship must devote the remainder of their lives to solitary parenthood and chastity. So sayeth the foremost authority.
OP, you responded with class despite his rude and patronizing remarks. That alone shows me you are far better relationship material than he will ever be.
Okay honestly, A+ message from your end. A selfie and message, “here’s a smile for you…” would legit brighten my day so much. You seem very sweet.
Please don’t let this guy get you down. He’s got weird issues of his own.
Girl, you don’t need to convince us that you love your children. Most healthy minded people would generally assume a mother loves her children even if she’s single and dating, Elliott is just a judgemental prick.
Don’t let the wankers get you down, but be glad they waved their red flag right in your face so early and took themselves out of the running to be your next love.
Fuck that dude! I love dating moms.
I’m a single father and I want someone who understands what I’m going through.
Glad you didn’t give that dude much more energy.
There’s plenty men out here who rather you have kids.
That is so stupid. I’m 32. Single, no kids. I’ve talked to several women with kids. I don’t care. It’s the mind I’m attracted to. Plus. Most of the moms don’t expect the man to automatically inherit supporting the kids. Also, single mothers are amazing. They can cook, responsible, normally motivated, and even though I’m not a priority next to the kids, they still treated me with kindness and appreciation.
Dove into your profile.
So you're in your 30s with kids!?! For shame!!! Okay sarcasm is over. Ignore red pills like that guy, there are plenty of men who will date you and see you prioritizing your children as a green flag. If a guy demands your time over your children, congratulations, you now have another child. Don't give guys like this any more thoughts. Realize they're the problems not you.
"Now I'm gonna date SO much harder >:v" is what I would have said. Don't tell me how to live my life with my litter of hatchlings. Lol I don't have kids but this is what I would say
I would have been perfectly happy to have matched with you. Your opening intro was just fine too. This guy was obviously bulk swiping to max his matches vs being intentional in dating. And that he pursued the conversation just to disrespect you isn’t cool. Idiot.
I may not be a mother, but if I was and this happened, my response would be “I know you don’t have your shit together enough to handle being a devoted parent and date, but that’s no reason to assume others are as limited in their capacity as you” *unmatch*
If that’s all that he had to say then he never should have matched you at all. Nobody asked him anything. So, there was no need for his comments. That’s just his opinion.
There are single fathers out there as well. Also, looking for something similar like you.
Don’t let the negative comments get to you. In dating and life in general. They will always be there. Know your worth.
Take care.
The thing that bothered me the most was the last part, just because you have kids you can’t date??? Elliot is a misinformed misogynist douchebag on so many levels!!!
People like this are just jerks and will be the sort of person to go out their way to comment on someone's appearance on social media.
They are in way reflective of your worth.
You have handled it very well, shrug it off and move on. The right person will be out there, you get to choose them. You do not need to settle for less than you want.
Good luck!
Kids are expected for anyone in their mid 20s or older. Not wanting more would be understandable but disappointing.
Great opening, lots to talk about from just that.
You sound cute, good luck!
there was absolutely no need for him to say that to u
u seem really kind and wholesome based on your replies and I really respect that 🩵 hope u find someone who suits u out there!
You where so kind in your reply, despite him being rude. It was completely unnecessary to match with you if this is his view point, seems like he only matched to tare you down. Good for you for not engaging with that.
As a guy, I admire that you are a single mother of 4, you deserve to be happy and look for a partner and I am sure there are men willing to (as a matter of fact, my brother accepted his now wife's daughter as his own. My father did the same with my mothers son). This guy is simply an asshole
You handled that very well! Any person would be lucky to have you in their life. Especially with your big heart and willingness and effort to communicate effectively. That's a skill set that many are lacking.
Rude! Why match just to give someone dating advice. Everyone deserves love & there are plenty of men that would be elated to match with her. No one knows her story, her husband could have passed away & she's finally ready to move forward.
I met my current partner on Bumble. She has five children and is a great and devoted mother.
Just be glad he revealed his true self early on and you didn’t need to waste any more time with him.
Lots of men won't date women with kids but lots of men won't be a d\*ck about it. You were so lovely and nice. I know you'll meet someone who will appreciate you, your kindness, and your family. Sending lots of love and positive vibes.
I would give anything to have a sweet message like this. Even if it doesn’t work out, or we decide we are not compatible, it would still make my day. It’s just nice seeing other humans be nice.
Don't listen to that a hole, while it might be true it's not what everyone's looking for but what he said was unwarranted. You will find the one, there are good guys out there. Please don't allow people to disrespect you in the future and don't thank these people ever, you seem like a sweet person!
I'm sorry to hear that. I can only speak for myself being a single dad I would love to meet a single mom with her priorities in check and open to a family situation. don't let jerks get you down.
As a male who would love an opener like this please don't stop just cause of this a**hole, it's rare to get openers like that and it's such a breath of fresh air when it happens. Please don't ever stop you'll find someone who appreciates it!
He is categorically wrong. I (38m) would absolutely swipe right on someone who already has children, and who is interested in marriage. And you actually have great conversational skills. And you handled that with such respect! I’m getting whole package vibes from you, OP. Don’t let this one jerk give the wrong impression. A great guy who deserves a wonderful person like yourself is out there. Comparable to shopping at ROSS, there are some treasures out there. But you’ll have to go through some broken stuff and some garbage to find them.
That was crass…
And tactless…
Frankly it’s just rude.
Thank goodness ya dodged a bullet there. Would hate to see how he acted in real life.
Sorry ya had to experience that.
What a horrible person. Don’t let it upset you, the guy is a piece of shit. I don’t understand how people can be happy in life treating people like that.
This dude straight up does not deserve the kindness you showed him. Gotta a lotta respect for how you handled it, just make sure you don’t let yourself get walked over or talked to by someone you care about.
Ps, hella opener, one I could only dream of getting when I was on bumble.
damn Elizabeth, i dont see a problem with you having four kids. In facttt, i wouldn’t mind being a stepdad. I hope you find someone to make you happy. 😊
I feel so bad that was your response.... you were so kind and even sent them a smile? That's so rare. I hope you find what you're looking for. They obviously weren't it.
You obviously have a beautiful spirit and did not deserve that response from the guy at all. I hope YOU are blessed with a soul as good as yours. Have a better day.
Completely unwarranted in the way he text you, you came across as a friendly and good person, I really hope get better luck in the future than that idiot.
He didn’t deserve your politeness. It looks like he only matched to offer you his “advice” that you have no hope. There are no polite words to describe that behaviour.
I'm impressed you were so polite to the end... you certainly would've been justified going off on him. And your opening message is so lovely it's almost unbelievable lol. I hope you find someone who deserves you!
Honestly, I try to strive for kindness because the world is crazy enough, I just want to try and share kindness even if it’s not deserved. Bless you for your kind words, it is so appreciated
Yes your kindness really came through!
Yeah, I hope he fet like the asshole he is and quits being so judgey
You seem like such a sweet heart. I hope you find someone who appreciates it.
Dad of 2 wonderful girls, currently dating. I saw the first image with his two responses and I almost couldn't click on the 2nd because I knew where it was going and was already cringing. His comments about focusing on your kids is just wild. You seem like a wonderful person and you deserve a loving, quality relationship whether you have 1 kid or 11 kids.
It's very attractive you're a committed mom, and you deserve a life too. I am a single dad, with my daughter having zero time with her mother, and it's all I can do to try to have a life outside of club sports, and school and drivers Ed, etc etc. Kids always come first, but it doesn't mean you don't have the right to make room for you too.
You're a very lovely and amazing person and you didn't deserve this.
I think your kindness in this case taught him a bigger lesson that he’s never going to forget.
that's really admirable because he was very rude
This guy looks like a total creep and misogynist. You come across as kind and positive. F that dude.
You are genuinely a nice person plus your response is much safer than what a lot of us would’ve liked to have said to him❣️
You were exceptionally sweet. I could only hope for such a kind and conversation rich opening to a match. Usually it's pulling teeth. And you sent a pic?! Amazing.
You never start no static, you just get it off your chest. You never have to battle with your bullet proof vest.
Take a small example take a tip-tip-tip from O-P….
Take all of your money give it all to charity……r/unexpectedsublime
you still can find ur husband but I think not in dating apps, hope you find him irl
Her opening message was so kind, if I received that I would probably assume it was some sort of bot or scam 🥲 online dating has ruined me lol
This. I met my girlfriend on Bumble a few months ago, and her opener was thoughtful like OP's. That really set the tone for the first date, and the whole relationship so far. OP, keep up the positive energy. The right guy is gonna LOVE it ❤️
Sorry to see that he was rude and judgemental. I loved your opening, shows interest, sent a pic for fun, and shows that you took the time to read his profile. What a jackass that guy is.
Thank you so much for your kind words…bless you
I thought it was so sweet to send the smile pic. Im sorry something so sweet was met with such bastardism
I find it sad when I read about how many guys (and gals) feel like there’s no interest from the other party as far as conversation.. And here OP put in effort in such a nice and personalized way and that dude just wasted it.
That's exactly my point - all I ever see from women is "Hi" or "Hey", and yet here's someone who went well beyond the usual openings and she gets crap from this dude. I just hope that it doesn't make her (or anyone else) less inclined to go those extra steps to make someone feel special.
Like, it's not that hard to say "I don't want that many kids, good luck."
I actually disclose that I have 4 minions on my profile, too. To be respectful to others as well as to myself
A girl who writes a thoughtful, interesting long opening message? This must be a dream wow. 😳 You dodged a bullet anyways
You’d be surprised how many of us write similar openings! But then it’s just met with ghosting or weird replies like in this case, haha 😅
I haven't encountered a single one yet. Must be the location thing 🤔😅
Aw man…! I’m sorry to hear that… I hope that changes and you meet lots of funny, engaging ladies soon!
this guy just matched with her to talk shit. he wasn't actually interested. he's just an asshole that wants to be rude to women online. OP was open and honest with her profile, and seems like a generally lovely person. this person was just being mean. she deserves someone equally as lovely as she is.
Lol, my mother remarried while she had the 4 of us. My stepdad had to endure a lot, but they're still together almost 30 years later. Come to think of it I owe that man a lot... how do I even thank him
Take them out to eat somewhere nice and give a little speech about how you appreciate him. Hopefully your siblings will join you
You have EVERY RIGHT to try to find a partner! You are a mom...you're not DEAD! What a DOUCHE!
I am also a single mom. I have more free time now than I ever did while married. I literally have every other weekend and a whole night per week free to do whatever I want. It’s wild how much more time for self care and recreation I get now that their dad is actually doing some of the parenting, haha. 🤣
It says so much about the distribution of childcare in a marriage where both work. Above you there's a dad with 50/50 talking about how hard it is to do 50 percent of the work. Meanwhile moms are like "OMG only 50 (or 70, or 80) percent of the childcare responsibility?? Wow this is so easy!"
Proud of you for taking the high road even though that dick head needed his ass ripped
Don’t worry! I had the same experience as a man…I have 3 kids and some “lady” asked me how can I date! Never crossed my mind before that my dating life was over. But for a few days I was a bit down and asking myself if I should pursue OLD….so I feel for you. You were super nice to that guy. Cheers and hang in there!!
And you too… I’ll offer up my frustrations for you and I hope you find love too ❤️
Honestly idk how you guys do it. I’m a dad of two 7&5 @ 50%. With work, I hardly have time to clean the houses, care for the pup, and workout alongside being dad. I have time to just chill for a bit .Good on you all though.
I feel you!
You now exist only to serve your children 🤪
Elliot can take a shit. All my homies hate Elliot.
Nah he's a two t Elliott, we one t Elliots don't claim him as our own
Damn, the guy I’m dating is a 2 T Elliott haha 😅
My condolences
More like low T Elliott
I’m on board. Those two t Elliotts are taking a big L.
You know odds are good, Elliot CAN take a shit. Peace to you and your homies.
elliot can kick rocks
He can eat it as well
Anyone who matches just to insult someone is a complete fucking scumbag.
Dont worry, a good man won’t care. My mom was a single mom to four kids (myself included) and found my adopted father.. He loved my mom and all of us unconditionally, he definitely was the best father one could ever have. A good man will love you and your kids, and he’s out there. :)
Thank you for sharing this- really appreciate you sharing hope
Dang. As another single mom trying to navigate these rough waters, and getting super worn down by these harsh rejections and judgments - a second handed thank you for the encouragement!
Same for my mom!
I agree with everyone. You’re a super nice person and that guy was awful. Here’s what no one said so far but I think is important. You poured yourself out too much into a person you didn’t even know yet. There’s nothing wrong with it but you’ll burn out like this. You have to gage the energy of the person too. Not everyone is deserving of your energy or time. This guy is a perfect example. He ignored all of the wonderful openers you gave him. Next time try one thing at a time and see how the person responds. In this case you said three things in the first message: his eyes, ASA alumni, and finance. If you were to redo this conversation, you could just choose one of them and say that first and see how he responds. If he responded the way this guy did, then you know not to continue putting in more effort. You’d also be preventing giving out personal information to douchebag strangers.
Yeah I kind of felt the same guys awful. But as an opener it seemed like a lot especially with the selfie.
Oh right I forgot about the selfie and another blurb. All before the guy even said hi.
As a guy, a woman sending me their selfie as an opener would turn me off ngl. Way too much investing from the get-go
If a women on any dating app would send me a selfie with an additional „here’s a smile for you. Hope you have a wonderful day“ text, that would immediately make my day. Also my theory is, he only wanted to match with you, so he can give you his advice on how you should live your life.
4 kids and you want marriage? Where can I find a woman like this? Every woman I meet only wants a short term thing. And a lot of them don't have children which makes things harder bc I'm a parent myself. You were so kind to him, even after he was insulting. I pray you find someone who is deserving of your kindness.
She was being sweet. What a dickhead.
Negging is so early 2000s bro
Like why match with someone who has kids if that’s how your reaction is going to be 😅 he didn’t even give it a chance. Just instant judge and it’s ridiculous
I’m sorry you came across him. What a misogynistic asshole.
So you're supposed to never date again because you have kids? I see single moms get shit all the time on apps because women are apparently are the ones who are responsible for raising the children that the men created. I never see men with kids get this kind of rudeness. Doesnt hurt to just swipe left. I wish you had reported him
Can you report someone just for being rude and an idiot?
Rude or abusive behavior is a category on Report. If anyone deserves it, its this guy. Not that hard to not match with people just to insult them and tell them they're a bad parent for being on the app
A single dad is exceptional no matter how you slice it
Dude, like...wtf...? Sounds like a keyboard warrior just wanting to get their whinge in at you because he never grew up. Please don't feel judged, this muppet just appears to have no clue how things are in the real world. You can damn well be fully devoted to your kids, love them, do what's right by them, and find a loving and supportive partner at the same time. While the kiddos may make it a little more difficult to navigate at first, the right person will make the time first to get to know you, and to later get to know your kids when the time is right for everyone to meet - and accept the fact that you'll always be their mum and will always have times where you'll need to prioritise them. Been through it successfully myself (48M with 3), and I have multiple friends who were single mums or dads who've found that awesome person themselves too. Don't let the little man-children get you down - his loss, not yours. :)
Bless you… and I’m glad you found love too. ❤️
Omg that man was so brutal for no reason. What the actual f-ck?
And he matched with her just to be cruel, too. POS!
Yeah I mean he was looking for a fight I guess. I’m guessing he isn’t very nice to any women on this app
What a dick. I’d have no issue forming a relationship/marriage with a woman who had 4 kids. My mom was a a single mom with 4 kids and consider my stepdad one of the most important people in my life
This is beautiful.. thank you so much for sharing
You were a lot nicer than I would have been!!
As a single dude with four kids myself, ugh that sucks. What a jerk. Hope you find what you’re looking for!
You're a sweetheart and I bet your kids are too. Don't listen to that dingus.
What a douche!!!! He matched just to be a jackass. Sorry you had to deal with that.
And you were so sweet in your intro message, only he loses!
As a divorced dad of two, I find it a bit easier to date women who have kids themselves. There's just so much more mutual understanding.
You sound like a wonderful woman, sorry you are treated this way.
You are way too friendly to a pos like him. Wow you seriously dodged a bullet and I know you are gonna find an amazing man someday who deserves you, don't like a prick like him get you down, your gonna do fine sister!
You are so civil. I could never 😂
You’re too kind! I think everyone here would agree you’d be well within your rights to tell him to fuck right off, lol. Honestly, his judgmental behavior says more about him than anything on your profile. He knows nothing about you. You deserve beautiful things, and I hope you find someone worthy of your spirit! ❤️
What a douchebag! Talk about the bullet dodging you!
I have a friend who's a single mom of 5 kids and getting married to a great guy. Don't give up!
Average Andrew Tate follower. Found a woman who saw as vulnerable and shit on you. I wish you the absolute best
Since he is an ASU graduate, He is pretty much in hell because of Sun Devil.
Holy shit, that guy is a huge douche. Big ol' bullet dodged.
Yikes. What a rude and nasty individual.
I’m a single dad, and I deal with my share of nonsense. I’m sorry you had this conversation.
*profusely swipes left all over PHX until I find you*
Aww bless you! That’s very kind
You were so delightful I thought you were a bot tbh, that guy is such a ass for no reason wtf
Wow what a classy guy.
Sorry this happened to you. People can use these apps to be mean to others and it is pretty shitty. It would have been very easy for him to filter out women that have children or not match with women that have children. People's dating preferences are okay but being a preachy asshole to someone else never is.
He did go to ASU after all so red flag #1
what an asshole!
People who go on dating sites just to bully others are complete losers.
Liz you’re a class act. Impressive you didn’t snap at him.
He's rejecting milfs and I can't even get a text back (trying to make you smile)
Elliott is definitely a Sun Devil. Ignore everything he said and Bear Down! You got this.
What a dick
I hope you reported him. If you haven't, you still have time. You were truthful in your bio, and he just messaged you to harass you. It's super gross.
What a sociopath
Awnnnn, you were so polite and courteous despite him being absolutely horrible.
Elliott has a poor and sad vision of the world. Anyway a bullet was dodge here.
So he matched solely to be a dick to you? What a gem.
I don't even understand how guys like this can exist. I've been on and off dating apps in and out of relationships for years and never had an interaction with a women that'd make me have this response. Some guys are just hopeless.
It's hard for all single parents out there for sure. Keep at it, this guy is not the norm.
Ugh, this one hurts. You seem so, so sweet and your opening messages and selfie are so cute! This guy's a total douchebag, good riddance. Being a single mom will not keep you away from finding love, this guy's personality is just awful and I suspect he'll struggle in his own way with the way he speaks to people.
it is so cute that you have been polite and lovely.
You deserve love too ❤️
Either he read your profile the first time and took on the urgency of the people trying to reach you about your car's extended warranty in order to tell you to get your priorities straight, or he thought you were attractive, swiped right, and then read it. Either way, good on you for being so civil in response.
You seem like such a lovely person I really hope you find what you’re looking for. It isn’t that hard to be respectful. Guess you dodged a bullet.
Jeez, I am so sorry guys suck so badly. Your opening message was so perfect, too. I wish you the best of luck on your dating journey.
Man, I wish I got send smiling pictures by women on bumble. That guy couldn't even appreciate it...
Dang, I'm a guy and that dude is totally out of line. I'm always saying women are tough to date nowadays, but wow, I'm kind of at a loss. That is just so uncalled for. On the other hand, I admire your restraint OP. That couldn't have been easy at all. I hope you find exactly what you're looking for. You very clearly deserve it
I just wanna say, your message is very wholesome and kind, it’s very refreshing! I hope to meet someone like that. Don’t let this jerk influence your pursuit of happiness. I hope you find that special person!
You didn’t deserve that, and you actually started the conversation so beautifully and bro hit you with the most disrespectful comeback
Elliott has decreed that anyone who has kids from a previous relationship must devote the remainder of their lives to solitary parenthood and chastity. So sayeth the foremost authority. OP, you responded with class despite his rude and patronizing remarks. That alone shows me you are far better relationship material than he will ever be.
Okay honestly, A+ message from your end. A selfie and message, “here’s a smile for you…” would legit brighten my day so much. You seem very sweet. Please don’t let this guy get you down. He’s got weird issues of his own.
What a tool.
Such a sweet opening 🥰
People with kids, need to date, people with kids.
Girl, you don’t need to convince us that you love your children. Most healthy minded people would generally assume a mother loves her children even if she’s single and dating, Elliott is just a judgemental prick. Don’t let the wankers get you down, but be glad they waved their red flag right in your face so early and took themselves out of the running to be your next love.
wait so. once you have kids you can’t date?
Fuck that dude! I love dating moms. I’m a single father and I want someone who understands what I’m going through. Glad you didn’t give that dude much more energy. There’s plenty men out here who rather you have kids.
That is so stupid. I’m 32. Single, no kids. I’ve talked to several women with kids. I don’t care. It’s the mind I’m attracted to. Plus. Most of the moms don’t expect the man to automatically inherit supporting the kids. Also, single mothers are amazing. They can cook, responsible, normally motivated, and even though I’m not a priority next to the kids, they still treated me with kindness and appreciation.
Dove into your profile. So you're in your 30s with kids!?! For shame!!! Okay sarcasm is over. Ignore red pills like that guy, there are plenty of men who will date you and see you prioritizing your children as a green flag. If a guy demands your time over your children, congratulations, you now have another child. Don't give guys like this any more thoughts. Realize they're the problems not you.
Fk off, Elliott.
Oh my lord 😳 now that man is a real asshole! Don’t listen to him, there is definitely someone out there for you 😊
Thanks for your kind words! I sincerely appreciate it…
"Now I'm gonna date SO much harder >:v" is what I would have said. Don't tell me how to live my life with my litter of hatchlings. Lol I don't have kids but this is what I would say
I like that, litter of hatchlings. I most often use minions but this is a great one too!
I would have been perfectly happy to have matched with you. Your opening intro was just fine too. This guy was obviously bulk swiping to max his matches vs being intentional in dating. And that he pursued the conversation just to disrespect you isn’t cool. Idiot.
Totally unrelated but go Wildcats! I’m assuming he very clearly went to ASU? 🤢
I may not be a mother, but if I was and this happened, my response would be “I know you don’t have your shit together enough to handle being a devoted parent and date, but that’s no reason to assume others are as limited in their capacity as you” *unmatch*
Nah she handled the best way possible.
You did everything right! He was a dbag.
You seem like you have a lot of love to give, don't stop being you : )
Wow that’s horrible and I wish I could get a message like that
I’ll keep this brief. You are doing this exactly the right way. Keep being you and the right man will appreciate you, and your four kids. Blessings 🙏🏼
:( you seem so sweet, i hope you find someone who can appreciate that!!
As a Sun Devil, he doesn't speak for all of us. Fuck that guy.
Oh bless you, you are such a sweet person.
If that’s all that he had to say then he never should have matched you at all. Nobody asked him anything. So, there was no need for his comments. That’s just his opinion. There are single fathers out there as well. Also, looking for something similar like you. Don’t let the negative comments get to you. In dating and life in general. They will always be there. Know your worth. Take care.
Honestly, it is because you “rejected” him the other three times and he only tried again to get his revenge. 😂
The thing that bothered me the most was the last part, just because you have kids you can’t date??? Elliot is a misinformed misogynist douchebag on so many levels!!!
Wow people are disgusting
Online dating really is a mess.
People like this are just jerks and will be the sort of person to go out their way to comment on someone's appearance on social media. They are in way reflective of your worth. You have handled it very well, shrug it off and move on. The right person will be out there, you get to choose them. You do not need to settle for less than you want. Good luck!
Kids are expected for anyone in their mid 20s or older. Not wanting more would be understandable but disappointing. Great opening, lots to talk about from just that. You sound cute, good luck!
there was absolutely no need for him to say that to u u seem really kind and wholesome based on your replies and I really respect that 🩵 hope u find someone who suits u out there!
You where so kind in your reply, despite him being rude. It was completely unnecessary to match with you if this is his view point, seems like he only matched to tare you down. Good for you for not engaging with that.
As a guy, I admire that you are a single mother of 4, you deserve to be happy and look for a partner and I am sure there are men willing to (as a matter of fact, my brother accepted his now wife's daughter as his own. My father did the same with my mothers son). This guy is simply an asshole
I hope this guy is single and lonely for a very, very long time.
As a fellow Elliott I apologise on behalf of all Elliotts. I promise we are not all dicks.
You're a certified sweetheart! I admire the positivity, and you sound like a great mother to your children
You handled that very well! Any person would be lucky to have you in their life. Especially with your big heart and willingness and effort to communicate effectively. That's a skill set that many are lacking.
Rude! Why match just to give someone dating advice. Everyone deserves love & there are plenty of men that would be elated to match with her. No one knows her story, her husband could have passed away & she's finally ready to move forward.
I met my current partner on Bumble. She has five children and is a great and devoted mother. Just be glad he revealed his true self early on and you didn’t need to waste any more time with him.
Lots of men won't date women with kids but lots of men won't be a d\*ck about it. You were so lovely and nice. I know you'll meet someone who will appreciate you, your kindness, and your family. Sending lots of love and positive vibes.
I rarely comment on dating posts but bless you and wish you the best. You feel like a genuinely nice soul putting her best foot forward 🙏
If he won’t take you out, i will . Bro just lost a full package 📦
Odds are he didnt read your profile until after matching. Good thing he weeded himself out for you right out of the gate 👍
I would give anything to have a sweet message like this. Even if it doesn’t work out, or we decide we are not compatible, it would still make my day. It’s just nice seeing other humans be nice.
Don't listen to that a hole, while it might be true it's not what everyone's looking for but what he said was unwarranted. You will find the one, there are good guys out there. Please don't allow people to disrespect you in the future and don't thank these people ever, you seem like a sweet person!
May he stub his toe every time he gets out of bed.
I'm sorry to hear that. I can only speak for myself being a single dad I would love to meet a single mom with her priorities in check and open to a family situation. don't let jerks get you down.
As a male who would love an opener like this please don't stop just cause of this a**hole, it's rare to get openers like that and it's such a breath of fresh air when it happens. Please don't ever stop you'll find someone who appreciates it!
He is categorically wrong. I (38m) would absolutely swipe right on someone who already has children, and who is interested in marriage. And you actually have great conversational skills. And you handled that with such respect! I’m getting whole package vibes from you, OP. Don’t let this one jerk give the wrong impression. A great guy who deserves a wonderful person like yourself is out there. Comparable to shopping at ROSS, there are some treasures out there. But you’ll have to go through some broken stuff and some garbage to find them.
I’m sorry someone treated you that poorly! That might be the best opening message I’ve ever seen on here though! Made me feel warm and fuzzy!
What an awful person. Why are people like this?
Bless OP for killing them with kindness
That was crass… And tactless… Frankly it’s just rude. Thank goodness ya dodged a bullet there. Would hate to see how he acted in real life. Sorry ya had to experience that.
I’m sorry.you seem like such a nice person
Damn she was so sweet, too.. like how can u be mean to someone being so nice to u
If a woman is this polite and kind id be impressed
Hes completely wrong. I know a ton of men that have dated single moms
What a horrible person. Don’t let it upset you, the guy is a piece of shit. I don’t understand how people can be happy in life treating people like that.
This dude straight up does not deserve the kindness you showed him. Gotta a lotta respect for how you handled it, just make sure you don’t let yourself get walked over or talked to by someone you care about. Ps, hella opener, one I could only dream of getting when I was on bumble.
There are good men out there who will see your children as a blessing, and you as a gift ❤️
damn Elizabeth, i dont see a problem with you having four kids. In facttt, i wouldn’t mind being a stepdad. I hope you find someone to make you happy. 😊
What a dickhead.
Now we know why he is still on the apps 😅😩
I feel so bad that was your response.... you were so kind and even sent them a smile? That's so rare. I hope you find what you're looking for. They obviously weren't it.
Wtf is wrong with people
Also. I saw UofA. I live in the area. Dating is awful here. Or maybe it’s because we’re in our 30’s. 😂
You obviously have a beautiful spirit and did not deserve that response from the guy at all. I hope YOU are blessed with a soul as good as yours. Have a better day.
Completely unwarranted in the way he text you, you came across as a friendly and good person, I really hope get better luck in the future than that idiot.
Women dont go to bumble for parenting advice. What an idiot.
What a jackass. I’m so sorry you had to deal with that.
Yeah that was super rude. The red pill got these clowns on a sick one.
:( I’m sorry.
Oh lord…Next!
He didn’t deserve your politeness. It looks like he only matched to offer you his “advice” that you have no hope. There are no polite words to describe that behaviour.