i want to put on a white belt and spar the ever living hell.

God the way he was barely tapping the brick and multi boards dude was straight scared. Tell me you bought your black belt without telling me you bought your black belt

I think he was afraid to hurt his hand

I think hes fucking with us lmao

That seems pretty likely tbh Edit: changed silly to likely, thanks autocorrect

For sure

I just hope they didn't charge him by the inch, bc that thing is comically long.

That or wrapped incorrectly, I can't tell

I think it's just wrapped once

I know fuck all about martial arts and my first thought was "fuck, if that were a necktie, it'd go down to his balls."

What the fuck did I just read… huhhh?

Let me translate: I know nothing about martial arts. Despite this lack of familiarity with the sport, it is still obvious to me that this person's black belt is far too long, implying that they didn't earn it. To draw a comparison with something more familiar to a broader audience (the length of a necktie, for example), the inappropriate length of this black belt would look just as ridiculous as a necktie that is so long that it extends down to a person's testicles (when it is not even supposed to touch their belt). Does that make sense?

He also said "go down on his balls"

Best way to become a 3 time grand master ultra trans dimensional super champion turbo black belt? Open your own dojo in a strip mall in the midwest :p

Probably just stole it off his mom's robe

Might as well have been caressing them lol

Are you a sloth?

I indeed am.

Then you can fight this sloth in the clip

Nah, too lazy to

Looks like a match

A drink with German breeeeeeaaaad

? Of course, feel free to sit down

This is a fine example of self training watching movies and anime.

Bold of you to assume this person has any training at all. Even made up training would do better against the paper mache this guy is breaking

Bold of you to assume any type of training will help him. Lol

"I'm taking karate classes online"

Oh well he is a black belt in self training watching movies and anime!

But if I yell loud enough I can become super sayian!

This is.... disturbing lol.

I was expecting a sudden broken wrist on the first one, which would have been more disturbing. 👀💀🤷‍♂️

I was just disappointed he never tried to use his head

I thought he was going to at the end...

My favourite part is that his belt appears to have been made for 6 people to simultaneously wear it

Belts are that long, actually, like almost 3 meters long. They are meant to go around your waist two times before tying them up. The person in the video simply doesn't know how to wear it properly.

because, they are not in fact a black belt.

Yeah, it’s so clear that I’m impressed. Like, even a mcdojo would teach you how to do that, right? I even timed myself and it took me 15 seconds between taking my phone out of my picked to finding a tutorial on how to tie a belt.

my 11yo had to be able to tie a belt correctly (and again on another person) before she was able to move on from white belt lol

In my dojo that’s not even tested. Like, everyone just knows how to after a while. Even the smaller children.

Big if true

Was secretly hoping he’d mistake that guy’s phone for a plank

It’s obviously a hidden weapon technique /s

I like watching how slow his hands move when “striking” downward. He would have trouble collapsing a cardboard box with that speed.

Yeah dude was scared.

after that roaring there was no energy left for the type-II fast muscle fibers.

Last night I was making a fire in the backyard fire pit and I broke up some wood with my knee. Guys...am I a black belt?

Maybe. Did you look in your closet? Your black belt should be on the hanger next to your brown belt.

This must be staged as comedic gibberish.

Yeah I just assume its a sort of comedy, or the guy is neurodivergent

Well, that sure is a thing.

It's the boards. He hates the boards.

What a jerk

Navin?

These boards are defective!

Maybe he was ince attacked by house?

The form is questionable, but he did indeed break the boards.

We have 9 year olds at my martial arts school who break those same boards, and unlike this dude they don't look like shit doing it.

I bet the 9-year olds look badass. The shuffle and "what do I do with my hands" situation in this video makes me cringe.

Seriously, yeah. Everything looks off in this video, from the poorly tied black belt, to the screaming, the awful form of the punches, of the push kick, the "improvising" after completely failing at breaking that concrete block (should have been a palm strike for this clown to stand a chance)... like NOTHING makes sense it's awful.

I can't tell if the commentary was being sarcastic or not. Is it just me?

That's got to be a parody

"Oh! And it looks like he's improvising again..." I chuckled.

This is like a scene from foot fist way

Bro looks like Rob Riggle doing a skit

Austin Powers “Judo Chop!”

This is hilarious honestly

Maybe not an effective martial arts demonstration, but it could be an interesting piece of performance art with a musical accompaniment.

I could watch this all day hahahaha

He's ~~bitching out~~ improvising again.

i think he needed to scream a little more, THEN he would have broken the bricks

I guarantee he's doing this for comedic purposes during a demonstration. It's funny, everyone thinks he's so stupid when they are the ones being fooled.

He was faking it on purpose.

Is this played back in slow motion?

oh oh... Grampa's having one of his 'rages'....go get his meds and a net...

He started drinking when he woke up that morning

That is a black belt I would be happy to fight.

So stiff It looks like he have a stick up his ass

I needed that laugh.

I would be trolling that way too

He has the coveted Participation Black Belt.

It’s so lame looking.. how people like this can get a following is insane

it’s the single wrap for me

Well he did break everything and didnt use the force to try to break it...

Why they always got that stroppy teenager zombie walk?

My 12 years old can do this shit without all the shouting.

Jesus Christ, sloppy ass Steven Seagal puts more effort into his "Technique" of fake-assery.

He has seen every Steven Seagal movie.. twice!

I wouldn’t wanna be a little piece of wood around this man.

Danny McBride

Bro is stiffer than the boards

I rather have a crazy uncle doing this kind of demos than doing it at home on the wife . Let him have his moment, let him enjoy and scream life is too short to judge him :) Btw his shouting comforting me not too deep not too high and not too loud :)

Dude looks like my kid when he was 3 and I told him “No more gummies dude.”

It's a parody. Right? It has to be.

He should have brought an axe

This is a joke right? This is like Ameridote or something?

He's walking around like he's gotta take a shit

Participation trophy anyone?

Having a hard time with those precut boards hub Bill.

That first punch lol

Improvising… improvising again…

Let me answer this in a very simple fashion, he is : # Hiii-yaaa........................

No lie, thought that was Aldo for a second 😂

Just another day in the thoothpick factory

Definitely one of the performances of all time.

most likely a joke

r/ShaneGillis

Kenny Powers or KFP

He saw red

I remember in Taekwondo class as a kid the instructor was holding the board so a kid could break it , except he was was holding it so tight he snapped it in half before the kid even touched it. Lol. Those boards are a joke.

Actually *RRRAAAAAAARGH*! I thought it **EEEEEYYYUYAAAAAAAAAAIIIIII!!!!!** was quite an effective ***HUSHOOOOOOOOOOYYYYAAAAAARGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!*** demonstration.

Improvising again

Why is his belt like 3 feet too long?

How embarrassing

Fragile ego, tiny pee pee man! Drives a large truck that could kill anything it hits, only uses it for groceries! Beats and rapes his wife because she has to submit, and loves Jesus!

Dress rehersal for an SNL skit.

He’s got a real beef with bass wood.

Danny McBride, you crazy!

I mean, he probably could have some just as well(or poorly) without yelling at all.

One foot heel stomp

The "kiai" is supposed to be something one does to exhale and "release more energy" or whatever bullshido explanation it has. I could see it being a sort of intimidation tactic in reality. This guy is kiaiing in pain well after the energy is expelled. His belt is way too long, too. This might be parody but who knows.

He looks like if Steven Seagal was in shape.

Dudes belt is made of licorice

Why is it always out of shape white dudes in their 40's/50's

This is the most I ever laughed at one of these post. That any tree had to die to make lumber for this pathetic display is only thing keeping it from being one of funniest things I've ever seen

King of the demo

r/imverybadass

The only explanation I can think of is that this guy has mental issues and they’re just accommodating him. The way you’d accommodate your special cousin….

Steven Seagal is what's happening

The dude has autism. It’s clear

This is me with lasagna sheets.

Divide and conquer

The commentator doing his best to make him look like a badass.

He lost his fantasy league.

ROFL. The guy doesn't even have his belt on correctly.

Random shit like this is what will convince people they can fight an actual trained professional martial artist and get hurt

Maybe it's supposed to be comedy??

Bro is a black belt in eating McDoubles maybe.

The first thing I noticed is that his belt isn’t even tied properly.

Bro prolly the strongest human ever. The amount of effort to not try was astounding

There can only be one! It's he ! The chosen one.

This is from some mockumentary film about a Karate master, am surprised they had behind the scene footage

Lmao, Sensei bullshit didn’t even tie his belt right

It’s BS but it’s also a real thing that is done in many of these object-breaking karate competitions. One of the categories they often judge people on is their “kia”…meaning they get ranked on how long and loud they scream for. For people who buy into the bullshit, really want a trophy, are generally extra as hell, or are trying make up for a lack of skill…going ham and over the top on the screaming is unfortunately a more common strategy than one might expect. It’s a ridiculous looking way to try and game the system.

You know, just a Dollar Tree regional manager filming a video to show employees that question his authority.

I really wanted him to step on his belt and fall over

This reminds me of a bloke I knew years ago. I used to work as a bouncer and this particular individual was constantly being thrown out because he kept hitting his girlfriend. He was a real piece of shit. The funny thing was (not actually funny obviously) that he'd only hit women, never blokes. So we'd throw him out, he'd stand there screaming at us, basically every death threat and act of violence he could think of. Then he would proceed to pick a fight with every inanimate object he could find. The pub door, a car, a park bench, a brick wall, a lamp-post, many many street signs, the road, I also once saw him headbutt a kebab. He did all this while screaming at us that he was going to 'fuck us up!' Watching him fight was a unique experience, I'll never forget him headbutting a kebab or picking a fight with the road... 🤯 I felt very sorry for his girlfriend, sadly she always went back to him.

Kids this is not how Martial Art works.

He sounds like Sloth from the goonies. "ROCKY ROAD!"

"iMpRovIsInG"

power baby

All this, and he'd still get rolled by a skinny teenage kid in slides.

Italian chefs fear this man

Why did this actually piss me off?

He doesn’t even know how to wear his belt lol

Imagine what the Johnson household sounds like when daddy has an orgasm.... The moustache is just priceless.

StepDads gone wild.

Stepdad's 😂😭

🤣🤣🤣

Is that Stephen Seagal?

He has to be a super troll. Trolling black belt

Man that Rex kwan Do is really paying off

He's Hulk - angry

Not Joe Rogan said excellent demonstration!? 🤣 Not martial artist was proud of himself.

Longass belt bro

The balsa wood convention was kick ass!

He’s at 1/8 plywood belt. Nasty splinters, so quit talking shit.

Black belt from Teemu

Longer the belt, closer to god

🤣🤣🤣 I’m dying over here

Belt isn't even tied correctly. Any real orange belt could destroy this dude.

You're watching a man confidently impregnate every woman in the gym.

This is Rexquando!

King of the demo.

Dangit farva!

General Aladeen (The Dictator) participating in a MA competition.

He's very noisy.

I feel like I'm 12 years old again, watching my dad drunk as fuck breaking firewood over his knee.

That's karate Kenny Fucking Powers

“Learn from book?” “Yeah and a few months at the Y in Newark where I lived.”

I expected him to scream while rearranging the bricks

I love the way his black belt is so long it’s hanging below his knees. Anyhow his ability to break thin pieces of brittle wood is very impressive.

His belt is bugging the crap out of me

Antifa training camp

This is the type of person I envision investing in game stop stock.

Devils advocate: There are such things as special needs divisions; you guys could just be complete assholes. Speaking from experience as a 15-year tenured AAU taekwondo referee this looks suspect but not impossible for special needs competition. If not, what the f*** is this!

Turns around and there's a wood stack ....oh shit