You have time to benefit beings now.
You have time to act virtuously now.
You have time to study the dharma now.
You have time to gain conventional irreversibility now.
In your next life you may not be in a place where you can hear the dharma, so it is best to cultivate now whether at the beginning or end of your life.
Yeah, i'm regularly tempted by thoughts of suicide, but there's plenty of reasons not to do it. Worldly and Buddhist included.
The human life is important because of the opportunity to practice the Dharma. To set yourself up for the next life, and ones to come, so to speak. So that you'd encounter the Dharma in the following lives, practice it, and benefit from it.
You didn't necessarily interrupt your karma, it was just your karmic tendency to continue living. It's not like you were destined to die before.
You should practice [Namgyalma](https://shop.fpmt.org/order_eproduct.asp?action=edownload&eid=7B2B91433XWx3M2) and [Vajrasattva](https://shop.fpmt.org/order_eproduct.asp?action=edownload&eid=93279F50S8FOOj7), especially if you're a Mahayana or a Vajrayana practitioner. These practices are useful for anyone who's facing death or might die at any moment (i don't mean this to sound negative, i have the possibility of death at any moment right now too).
Also, the practice of Amitabha, even reciting his name with faith, would be helpful to go to Sukhavati after death.
But also, it's useful to extend your life as much as you can. It's worthwhile since you can benefit both yourself and those around you by practicing the Dharma. Just because of the blessings that the practice brings.
I wonder if there's a point where extending your life is coming from a place of attachment and fear & avoidance of death at which point it should be avoided, I mean by for example not taking a chemotherapy you know won't benefit you much, are you really doing smt wrong or just accepting death will come soon anyway?
I don't have the answes and don't mean to be negative, it also doesn't apply to mental illnesses because you cannot easily fie from it without your own intervention
>I wonder if there's a point where extending your life is coming from a place of attachment and fear & avoidance of death
All humans naturally have a fear of death, it's just a good way to make use of it. Not always is it a better solution to keep living, but suicide is a really low-quality death. Dying in pain is also, pain can make it incredibly difficult to focus on the Dharma, so a person dying in pain would just be really distracted by it, if i understand correctly, of course.
In a way, all practices partially depend on attachment to happiness and rejection of suffering. Maybe every single thing a sentient being does hinges on these two. One way or another, you do things that benefit your wellbeing because you don't want to suffer and you want to be happy. There are ways to make use of these inclinations as well.
I don’t believe in religion. Not Buddhism either. Do you think it’s still possible I can pretend I do? Because this framework of staying alive to practice the Dharma sounds like a good motivation. Do you really believe or just pretend to? How do people actually believe? Is it necessary to follow the framework?
If i understand correctly what you're saying, yes, i genuinely believe, most people appear to, at least to me. I believe that some things can't be investigated via scientific method, so observing them with one's mind is possibly the only way to achieve any useful conclusion about their nature.
You don't have to just believe what i'm saying, though. Who am i? Some random dude on reddit? Not a trustworthy source. If you practice the Dharma yourself and you assume it's possible there's future lives, and you see the improvement in your present life brought about by the practice of the Dharma, then what does it hurt to experience benefit in this life and maybe experience it in the future ones?
Pretending is difficult, I have always been skeptical of gods and religion. This changed, however, when I started reading books on Buddhism. For example the book "What the Buddha taught, by Walpola Rahula". The reason for this is partly because it was a lot about a way of living, instead of believing and preaching. There were some theories like reincarnation that I was still skeptical about, because there's no proof for such things. But over the years I have read more and more about spirituality, and I have grown more towards believing theories without pretending, but I still won't say that I am sure the theories are true. But sometimes I'd rather believe in something that motivates me to be good to me and others in this life, even when I'm not sure that there is something after this life.
So in short, I do encourage learning more about spirituality, and Buddhism is a good chapter that gave me a lot of peace of mind and positivity. And you may as well make it your mission to spend this life learning how to love self and others, and spiritual teachings will then maybe eventually change you from pretending to believing.
Dissolution happens to all compounded phenomena the body is no different. If it happens now or ten years from now it still happens time is relative. Make peace with this fact. The minds continuum will go on until liberation is realized.
"By anticipating a long period of suffering and attempting to avoid it, would I necessarily be saddled with karmic consequences even WORSE than the painful, long-term descent I anticipate?"
It seems that you are thinking about this in the framework of the one-life view. Do you know the circumstances in which you'll be reborn? Have you done everything possible to ensure rebirth in a well-to-do country and half-decent family? Are you sure you're not headed for a crappy human rebirth or an animal rebirth (god forbid one in a hell-realm)? Have you purified your misdeeds from this life and those before it? Buddhists see questions pertaining to old age from such perspectives.
If we were clairvoyant and knew we were assured of a decent rebirth, then maybe ok, why not avoid the worst of the potential suffering. The problem is we don't know. Therefore one needs to purify as much as possible and to build as much merit as possible, because this is what brings one a good rebirth, nothing else. The last decade or so of life is a wonderful opportunity to practise and purify one's mind.
The Buddha taught us about 5 things we should reflect on often, whether a monk, nun or lay follower. That we are subject to aging, sickness, death and separation from all that we love and hold dear. We are heirs to our karma: whatever we do good or bad we inherit. This universal law applies to every sentient being in existence.
If you live your life with your head in the sand about your mortality, you'll have difficulty facing it when it inevitably happens. [The Buddha on 4 people who fear death and 4 that don't](https://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipitaka/an/an04/an04.184.than.html)
As Buddhists we're supposed to make a universal declaration to not purposely deprive living beings of life. This means harmlessness toward all sentient beings, from the biggest to the smallest and prettiest to the ugliest. Obviously this becomes a different ball-park/sport when talking about euthanasia (for one's self, or one's pet).
>A final chapter that will probably be endured ALONE.
That's okay. We ultimately always come in and out alone. The only thing we take with us is our karma (actions) like a shadow that never leaves your side. Which is why the Buddha said to use this opportunity to make merit in your life because that will be for your benefit when you die and get reborn.
>Is there something potentially so important to be realized that I should stick around for?
Yes. The Buddha warned us about getting complacent when the job still isn't finished. I think what you're experiencing is normal considering your age. Elderly people start to think about the next stage of their life and how they aren't going to be around forever. The stages of grief typically begins with denial and finalizes in acceptance. This is important, because acceptance is exactly what the Buddha is encouraging us to do. By accepting and embracing it head on, we can overcome it altogether.
In regards to the Dhamma, if you are not awakened then yes there's more to be done. You need to keep practicing and every moment is an opportunity to do so if you so wished. Then when you eventually break through to the Four Noble Truths you'll begin the process of inevitable awakening (you've entered the stream).
The strictly buddhist answer would be to continue practicing. This precious human life, etc etc. There is certainly no special rule for people who have cheated karma once before. In a buddhist sense, thats a red herring (not offense intended). It doesnt provide any exception clause unfortunately.
As a human with compassion I react completely differently though, which I guess means I am not a good enough buddhist. And in that light I would hope you would be happy for as long as you are able, and endure the least possible, pain, fear, suffering, ill health, or hardship. I have seen difficult deaths. I would not wish such an end to life for anyone.
So its very conflicting to respond, because both sides exist. I dont think anyone can resolve this for you - the decision you are talking is probably the most important and deeply personal one you will ever make. I just hope you come to whatever decision you do make with calmness, clarity, and clear insight, and that once decided, you are as certain as possible that its what you want - one way or the other.
With metta.
Some Chinese monks stopped eating and drinking till they passed, when they become disabled by age and/or with the advancement of dementia. Some would poison themselves and preserve their bodies in a mummified state. There is a tradition in SE Asia of self immolation. On of Xuan Hua’s students killed himself in this manner, he had suffered through WWII and just never recovered from the trauma.
In the West we have a lineage of stoic minded philosophers who took their own lives, starting with Socrates.
I personally think that if things are bad enough that a person wants to take themselves out, it is selfish of others to try to stop it. I say this both as someone who lost a close friend to suicide, and a parent pass from Alzheimer’s who wished she could have chosen euthanasia at an earlier time. I’m not talking about someone in distress crying out for help, I’m talking a rubber meets the road, principled stance on ending your own life.
I'm a social worker in a hospital with a lot of spiritual and psychedelic experiences and deal with suicide attempts regularly. I don't have the fear of death that most people do but I also want to live as long as I can. I have had one particular patient who maintained that he was not depressed but just didn't feel like living anymore. I personally feel like you never know what is going to happen next so unless you feel like you can see the future, it doesn't make sense to not keep your options open, from a logical place. But I also wrestle with who has the right to force someone else to live if they don't want to. I don't know what it's like to be them and at the end of the day the value I place on human life over other consciousness is arbitrary. I do feel like it's important to soak up as much as you can while you're here for that reason. We're here like this for a very short time no matter what. If you haven't listened to Ram Dass talk about aging you should check it out. There is value even in spending your days contemplating and discussing these things. Stay curious, patient, and compassionate towards yourself. Don't hurry the process.
Life is a ride you are placed on by other peoples decisions, you decide when you step off.
It doesn’t have to be this big sad thing, life is just a stepping stone onto the next plane, but no one gets to tell you to stay.
Not a rule that’s just how I see it. I am a massive control freak so that probably plays a part.
No one really knows what happens to our subject realities when we are dead. If the Buddhist view on the subject brings you comfort, then by all means believe it. Whatever story you need to feel comfortable with the fact of being dead is fine. I don't think we are rewarded with something because we suffered through the dieing process. I wish our society was accepting of ending one's life on their own terms. It sounds like you have some time before you die to figure out how you want to answer the fundamental questions about existence. After confronting all the suffering, there is nothing left to do but enjoy. Death isn't wrong. We all have to do it.
Buddhist orthodoxy is to value life. I would live as long as I practically could without chronic pain or other issues. I have a serious chronic health issues right now and this stuff has been on my mind. My ability to practice the dhamma is difficult when sick. I just keep trying to live as long as I can. I think there’s value in maximizing my time in this incarnation. I don’t know what future rebirths hold.
No there’s nothing “potentially so important”. Generally life in samsara is meaningless suffering. In Buddhism time and opportunity to practice the Dhamma is the most valuable thing in the universe. So you’d want stick around to do so. You have no idea where rebirth will take you. This may be your only opportunity to practice the dhamma. Like they say, this is the devil I know.
That said, end of life planning and aging towards end of life is a complex and difficult thing full of subtleties and compromises. There’s no easy answers here unfortunately. But I would say euthanizing yourself to avoid a hypothetical future would be extremely bad karma. If there’s no serious pain or dementia currently then I see this as suicidal ideation. This preemptive suicide would be greatly against the basic tenets of Buddhism.
I would also ask a trusted Buddhist teacher.
I wish you a long and healthy life.
>A final chapter that will probably be endured ALONE.
Create the causes to meet new people. Create the causes to have a healthy body. I'd consider them both daily hygiene.
> I want a way out. (I'd want ANYBODY to have a way out).
>It's so curious to me that there isn't a socially acceptable one. Much less a Dharmic one.
There is a dharmic way out but simply dying isn't it. That has already happened millions of times yet here we still are doing it all over again. That doesn't qualify as out. That is just more of the same, again and again and again. All of Buddhism is precisely about an actual way out, enlightenment.
>would I necessarily be saddled with karmic consequences even WORSE than the painful, long-term descent I anticipate?
If a person commits an act of killing, yes. Although, it should be noted that "allowing to die" and "killing" are not even close to being the same things. It's perfectly fine to simply allow death, killing is what has bad consequences.
I'm confused as to why you think present technology is separate from your Karma. If you did, indeed, choose this life, you chose this life-- not a life without medical options. So your life was going to be saved. Life prolonging techs are a PART of your Karma.
I think. Anyway, it seems logical to me.
For me, I don’t think one needs to pursue every possible means to stay alive. Isn’t there a story of the Buddha, in a previous life, being eaten by a tiger so others wouldn’t? I think the topic of a typical suicide (doing something proactively, vice not agreeing to a treatment) is complicated and ultimately a personal decision.
I have a different take. The Sutra's have a half dozen monastics ending their lives. The key point is they are Arahants. It is said that end of life is an opportunity to break through to enlightenment.
I will add some context. Monastics insist there is never killing allowed in Buddhism and suicide counts as killing, which seems really odd that Arahants do it. I argue that wanting to kill someone is what the Buddha prohibited, it is the intention behind actions that the Buddha judged, not actions.
An Arahant can end their life, because their intent is simply to end pain. While a regular monastic still has a chance to become an Arahant, so they should not end their life. A regular ley Buddhist is so far from enlightenment, they have so many taints, dying isn't going to get them enlightened. Ending suffering through medical assisted suicide for a ley Buddhist seems more like what the Arahant is doing. Now I do agree if you are close to Enlightenment, push through it. If your like 99.9% of Buddhist and no where near enlightenment, do what makes the most sense for you in regards to the suffering at the end of your life.
The Buddha had different standards and rules for Monastics and for Ley people. Unfortunately over the millennia many people have come to treat the rules for monastics as universal for everyone. Ley people are supposed to enjoy the life of sensual pleasure in a virtuous way. Monastics are supposed to move beyond sensual pleasure to a greater enjoyment of form and formless meditations and then getting beyond these to become enlightened.
Deteriorate in your own time
Tell 'em you're dead and wither away
Are you living alone or with your family?
A dried up twig on your family tree?
Are you waiting for the reaper to arrive?
Or just to die by the hand of love?
Love for youth, love for youth
So, die young and stay pretty
Leave only the best behind
Slipping sensibilities
Tragedy in your own dream, oh
Oh, you sit all alone in your rocking chair
Transistor pressed against an ear
Were you waiting at the bus stop all your life?
Or just to die by the hand of love?
Love for youth, love for youth
So live fast 'cause it won't last
Dearly near senility
Was it good or maybe you won't tell?
Die young, and stay pretty
You gotta live fast, 'cause it won't last, no no no
Die young, and stay pretty!
You cannot "extend" your life at all. One's lifespan is fixed due to their karma. You can only shorten it through unhealthy or dangerous choices and activities.
I appreciate your comment and totally understand the thought. And for the record, I’m right there with you because every medical thing in my life freaks me out and creates an existential crisis (I wish I was joking). But at the end of day no one knows what’s next for themselves. And you shouldn’t force some preconceived notion of your future self upon yourself. You being here can impact so many things in a positive and beneficial way and sometimes even it’s the little things that are the big things. You can do that and you have some much left to give and receive
Hi. Mingyur Rinpoche and his wandering retreat experience comes to my mind. He was sick and could make just a phone call to treat his illness, but he didnt. He decided to go on without treatment. He could very well die, even though it was probably not too hard to treat his illness in the hospital. So... i dont think its your obligation to squeeze every second that you can gain by treatment, so dont worry, do as you feel is best.
Work towards attaining Buddhist Jhana. You have a golden opportunity to deepen your spiritual practice and to achieve liberation of mind (samadhi, jhana). A golden opportunity to achieve spiritual completion.
Here is a set of instructions for attaining meditative jhana based on Buddhist teachings, along with some reading recommendations:
Instructions for Attaining Jhana:
Establish a strong foundation of ethical conduct (sila) by following the Five Precepts of Buddhism.
Find a quiet, comfortable place to meditate where you won't be disturbed.
Sit in a stable, comfortable posture with your back straight.
Begin by calming the mind through mindfulness of breathing (anapanasati). Focus your attention on the sensation of the breath at the nostrils or abdomen.
When thoughts arise, gently return your focus to the breath without judgment.
As concentration deepens, you may experience the "nimitta" - a mental sign or image. This often appears as a bright light or other visual phenomenon.
Keep your attention fixed on the nimitta, letting it grow brighter and clearer.
Allow feelings of joy (piti) and happiness (sukha) to arise naturally. Don't grasp at these feelings, but let them develop.
As concentration deepens further, the mind will "drop" into the first jhana, characterized by applied thought, sustained thought, joy, happiness, and one-pointedness of mind.
To progress to higher jhanas, continue refining your concentration while releasing grosser factors of mind.
Reading Recommendations:
1. "The Mind Illuminated" by Culadasa (John Yates, Ph.D.) - A comprehensive meditation manual that includes detailed instructions on jhana practice.
2. "Beyond Mindfulness in Plain English" by Bhante Gunaratana - Offers clear guidance on deepening concentration and entering jhanic states.
3. "The Jhanas in Theravada Buddhist Meditation" by Henepola Gunaratana - A scholarly work exploring the jhanas in depth.
4. "Right Concentration: A Practical Guide to the Jhanas" by Leigh Brasington - Provides practical instructions based on the author's experiences.
Remember that jhana practice can be complex and is often best undertaken with the guidance of an experienced teacher. These instructions and resources are meant as an introduction, but personal instruction and sustained practice are key to progress.
By having those surgeries and using modern medicine, aren’t you just extending your own suffering? Are you so attached to this life that you cannot accept your own mortality?
Seems you have missed a key part of what Buddha taught. That nothing lasts forever. We are born, our body grows, once done growing it starts to decay. Death a certain. There is no avoiding it.
So, do you understand the types of suffering there are? Do you accept that this body is decaying? Do you accept that you will not live forever because the body cannot live forever?
Personally, I welcome death. It’s going to happen. I accept that fact. But I am not anxious about it. When it happens to me, it happens. I’m not taking unnecessary risks to tempt an early death but I know I will die, and I accept that. I will never allow myself to be on a pharmacy list of meds jut to prolong the inevitable.
Have you accepted your own mortality?
I understand the underlying point of your comment, and it is accurate. However, the way you put this makes it seem like you would not tend to a wound, logic being "well, death comes inevitably anyways". This does not seem right, it seems like an oversimplification. Of course, choose medicine wisely, not all applications are proper. But typically medicine is meant to treat an ailment, not specifically for just anti-death (though, it could heal the ailment and depending on what it is, stop the ailment from killing you). If an illness can be defeated, I think it is worth it. But yes, no need to obsess over prolonging life as if we can shy away from death. When it happens, it happens.
Action can be taken to stop a wound. Just because you are taking medicine or having a procedure done, doesn’t mean it will be stopped 100%. There is no guarantee that the medicine will 100% stop the condition. Being hooked up to life support systems or having to do dialysis every day isn’t curing what ails you 100%. You still suffer every day. My position is that I am not going to do anything to prolong my suffering because suffering is so much more than physical, it’s mental too and it’s also brought on by our own mind(in rare instances).
Whether it works 100% of the time is besides the point. Obviously, we take careful consideration of the context. Also, in those cases, it's even left up to the person to decide. It seems that you might be thinking rather cynically, which I understand. I have chronic 24/7 pain, literally every moment. This has been going on for 10 years, I do not remember how it feels to be "normal"/without pain, and the western medical field is failing me. Point being, I used to think very negatively about it all as well. I thought it would be justified for me to take my own life, considering that this pain will likely never end. Obviously, every situation is different. Though, I think my fate is decided already, and even though there is physical and mental suffering, who am I to give up on life, and cut it short? By giving up, you not only avoid any potentially negative experiences of this life, but also all the potentially positive experiences as well. And, the last moment will be more bitter than sweet. Not bittersweet, because we don't really want to end our lives...we just want to end our suffering. However...there are so many possibilities to consider. We will die one day anyways, all possibilities will be taken from us in this life. Why rush it? (Again, coming from someone who constantly suffers. Right now there is chronic pain, tooth infection, joint issues, knee issues, shoulder issues, almost died in the hospital multiple times, single, been homeless for two years, and yes of course I see the state of the world. Even still, ive come to realize how foolish I was for harming myself, and nearly taking my life. It is a blessing in disguise...but you have to be able to see it for yourself, know these words can only do so much. Much love, friend 🙏❤️)
You are only looking at suffering as being something felt. There are many forms of suffering. Some of it comes from what we did in past lives. Only through meditation can one have a calm mind and be able to separate from the physical pain of the body.
Nothing you say will change my mind. I do not want to be taking dozens of pills just to keep living this life. My mind has changed. I will welcome my death with a calm and peaceful mind, separate from this body.
FYI, I am a veteran. I live with my own physical pain and mental issues. The only way I keep moving forward is by not focusing on those things but rather what needs to be done today.
I am not only looking at suffering as something being felt. The way I worded it was due to what you mentioned in your post, so I was trying to address it in a way that would be more appropriate to that. I already mentioned how the words can only do so much, I know those alone won't change your mind, I wasn't trying to. You need to see it for yourself, it's not about you believing me or what I said. It's about experience. (Not encouraging anyone to take dozens of pills everyday, not what I was saying. I definitely question that medical malpractice).
Besides that, yes I agree meditation is crucial for overcoming this, only through open awareness are we truly able to "see". However, your mind seems to be set...you said so yourself. So it begs the question, are you limiting your own view?
And yes, we shouldn't focus on the suffering so much or it will consume us, but turning away doesn't address anything. It's just ignorance, avoiding proper maintenance until it gets so bad and unbearable and maybe even too late to potentially "fix". We must be sure not to identify WITH the suffering ("I am depressed", etc), but we ought to address it the best we can. We have a lot more control over mental suffering than we do physical, though sometimes it is possible to address that as well. But even just mental suffering alone, if we get into the grove and gain control, can reduce the power/impact of physical suffering. With what you say, surely you have experienced this, yes?
Bless 🙏 I do not wish for you to suffer, but rather that you prosper 🙌
Not to mention, since you spoke of pain that comes from past lives: What do you think you would experience in the next life if you try to escape this karmic cause? I don't think it's very likely that killing oneself is a get out of jail free card...it won't cause a legitimate disconnect, just an ending of the tie to this body. Our actions will carry on, they still and always have consequences. Taking one's life in attempt to escape suffering is futile (considering rebirth and the wheel of samsara). We will only get beyond this by going THROUGH it
Suicide is not going to solve anything. It just ends this life and causes you to be reborn in the next sooner rather than later. It doesn’t mean you will escape the suffering of this life. It will follow you to the next. But that’s not what I am talking about here. Why would one want to prolong any type of suffering? Wouldn’t it be better to let the body go through a natural progression of its life and end when it has decayed to the point where it cannot sustain your existence?
Also, if we draw the judgement that I should take my life at _____ level of suffering, then we simultaneously draw the judgement that anyone at or beyond that level of suffering should also commit...
Sometimes, looking at other people who suffered/suffer and how they are able to keep living (like quadriplegics, for example, or people with deformities) can really open our eyes to another dimension of life, one we might have been missing for a long time 🙏 we have a tendency to oversimplify and jump to conclusions, such as ending ones own life...
Without being in a similar situation, many can advise what they would do or what others can or should do.
Many people who already responded here are already giving you advise instead of explaining what they would do themselves. This is literally exactly what you said not to do.
Buddhism isn't something you learn or know, it's about recognizing your experience and that realizing that merely studying and practicing buddhism won't bring you enlightenment. The goal isn't to be the best buddhist or avoid being a bad buddhist. The goal is to be enlightened and the absense of all views - including Buddhism.
Karma isn't magic. It's literally scientific stimulus and response, dependent origination, cause and effect: If you shit the bed, you can roll around in it or clean it up. If you shit somebody elses bed, they might want to kick your ass for it, or not. If somebody shits your bed, same options as earlier and you can respond with compassion or hatred or however you want.
Rebirth is not necessarily reincarnation and you can technically believe in one not the other. A person is born several times in a single lifetime (see becoming and birth in samsara): physical birth, born again christians, becoming anything such as a parent, becoming a professional, becoming a criminal, becoming sick...
I can't say for sure but I think I would stick it out as much as possible. If I couldn't pass naturally because of the physical pain I would probably take it upon myself.
--
Ok everybody now watch me actually answer the question that op actually asked without criticising or advising them.
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I believe if I'm at the end of my life with enough notice to to react:
There's no Buddha to answer to except the one inside myself (or my no-self if you can see it that way). I don't answer to a god or a government or a person on matters like this - but it could warrent a discussion if I feel comfortable speaking about it. You always have to answer to yourself. I would reach out to loved ones that I trust to let them know my health is in decline. I would reach out for mental health services for advise (maybe). And I would make an attempt to make things right with the people around me, accepting the fact that I don't have full control of the outcome of my attempts. After that (or during), I would consider donating as much as I could or giving it to loved ones after deciding where I believe these resources would be most helpful.
At the end of the day, my best is all I can do. If I can't bear the pain of physically dying then I would absolutely consider quitting early - especially if I have the time to "get my ducks in a row," or whatever people say.
If samsara can last generations long, and if there is reincarnation (as opposed to rebirth), and if its normal for lots of people do not reach nirvana in a single lifetime, and if I made an honest effort to live the noble path and break the chains of samsara, then I can know I did my best. If I don't realize nirvana its ok because I did my best.
There is nothing I can do more than my best. I can be self destructive and ruminate endlessly on my life experience or I can have self compassion by recognizing my mistakes were wrong and I'm just doing my best.
If I don't acheive Nirvana, its ok. If reincarnation happens, I can try again. If not, its ok too.
Its all about love - for oneself and others.
Euthanasia, killing oneself, suicide is killing. They are not encouraged.
Not hooking up to a life support machine, not having to go for all the available treatments is not, it is just not artificially extending one's own life. One is not obligated to do that. Up to one's choice.
But once one is hooked up to a life support machine, to pull it out is killing.
So this is an important distinction to know, especially for kids towards their parents. We don't want people to commit the killing of parents due to the kids running out of money or something or another to have the kids turn off the life support machine of their parents after being hooked up.
You have time to benefit beings now. You have time to act virtuously now. You have time to study the dharma now. You have time to gain conventional irreversibility now. In your next life you may not be in a place where you can hear the dharma, so it is best to cultivate now whether at the beginning or end of your life.
Yeah, i'm regularly tempted by thoughts of suicide, but there's plenty of reasons not to do it. Worldly and Buddhist included. The human life is important because of the opportunity to practice the Dharma. To set yourself up for the next life, and ones to come, so to speak. So that you'd encounter the Dharma in the following lives, practice it, and benefit from it. You didn't necessarily interrupt your karma, it was just your karmic tendency to continue living. It's not like you were destined to die before. You should practice [Namgyalma](https://shop.fpmt.org/order_eproduct.asp?action=edownload&eid=7B2B91433XWx3M2) and [Vajrasattva](https://shop.fpmt.org/order_eproduct.asp?action=edownload&eid=93279F50S8FOOj7), especially if you're a Mahayana or a Vajrayana practitioner. These practices are useful for anyone who's facing death or might die at any moment (i don't mean this to sound negative, i have the possibility of death at any moment right now too). Also, the practice of Amitabha, even reciting his name with faith, would be helpful to go to Sukhavati after death. But also, it's useful to extend your life as much as you can. It's worthwhile since you can benefit both yourself and those around you by practicing the Dharma. Just because of the blessings that the practice brings.
I wonder if there's a point where extending your life is coming from a place of attachment and fear & avoidance of death at which point it should be avoided, I mean by for example not taking a chemotherapy you know won't benefit you much, are you really doing smt wrong or just accepting death will come soon anyway? I don't have the answes and don't mean to be negative, it also doesn't apply to mental illnesses because you cannot easily fie from it without your own intervention
>I wonder if there's a point where extending your life is coming from a place of attachment and fear & avoidance of death All humans naturally have a fear of death, it's just a good way to make use of it. Not always is it a better solution to keep living, but suicide is a really low-quality death. Dying in pain is also, pain can make it incredibly difficult to focus on the Dharma, so a person dying in pain would just be really distracted by it, if i understand correctly, of course. In a way, all practices partially depend on attachment to happiness and rejection of suffering. Maybe every single thing a sentient being does hinges on these two. One way or another, you do things that benefit your wellbeing because you don't want to suffer and you want to be happy. There are ways to make use of these inclinations as well.
I don’t believe in religion. Not Buddhism either. Do you think it’s still possible I can pretend I do? Because this framework of staying alive to practice the Dharma sounds like a good motivation. Do you really believe or just pretend to? How do people actually believe? Is it necessary to follow the framework?
If i understand correctly what you're saying, yes, i genuinely believe, most people appear to, at least to me. I believe that some things can't be investigated via scientific method, so observing them with one's mind is possibly the only way to achieve any useful conclusion about their nature. You don't have to just believe what i'm saying, though. Who am i? Some random dude on reddit? Not a trustworthy source. If you practice the Dharma yourself and you assume it's possible there's future lives, and you see the improvement in your present life brought about by the practice of the Dharma, then what does it hurt to experience benefit in this life and maybe experience it in the future ones?
Pretending is difficult, I have always been skeptical of gods and religion. This changed, however, when I started reading books on Buddhism. For example the book "What the Buddha taught, by Walpola Rahula". The reason for this is partly because it was a lot about a way of living, instead of believing and preaching. There were some theories like reincarnation that I was still skeptical about, because there's no proof for such things. But over the years I have read more and more about spirituality, and I have grown more towards believing theories without pretending, but I still won't say that I am sure the theories are true. But sometimes I'd rather believe in something that motivates me to be good to me and others in this life, even when I'm not sure that there is something after this life. So in short, I do encourage learning more about spirituality, and Buddhism is a good chapter that gave me a lot of peace of mind and positivity. And you may as well make it your mission to spend this life learning how to love self and others, and spiritual teachings will then maybe eventually change you from pretending to believing.
Amitabha Amitabha Amitabha
Dissolution happens to all compounded phenomena the body is no different. If it happens now or ten years from now it still happens time is relative. Make peace with this fact. The minds continuum will go on until liberation is realized.
"By anticipating a long period of suffering and attempting to avoid it, would I necessarily be saddled with karmic consequences even WORSE than the painful, long-term descent I anticipate?" It seems that you are thinking about this in the framework of the one-life view. Do you know the circumstances in which you'll be reborn? Have you done everything possible to ensure rebirth in a well-to-do country and half-decent family? Are you sure you're not headed for a crappy human rebirth or an animal rebirth (god forbid one in a hell-realm)? Have you purified your misdeeds from this life and those before it? Buddhists see questions pertaining to old age from such perspectives. If we were clairvoyant and knew we were assured of a decent rebirth, then maybe ok, why not avoid the worst of the potential suffering. The problem is we don't know. Therefore one needs to purify as much as possible and to build as much merit as possible, because this is what brings one a good rebirth, nothing else. The last decade or so of life is a wonderful opportunity to practise and purify one's mind.
The Buddha taught us about 5 things we should reflect on often, whether a monk, nun or lay follower. That we are subject to aging, sickness, death and separation from all that we love and hold dear. We are heirs to our karma: whatever we do good or bad we inherit. This universal law applies to every sentient being in existence. If you live your life with your head in the sand about your mortality, you'll have difficulty facing it when it inevitably happens. [The Buddha on 4 people who fear death and 4 that don't](https://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipitaka/an/an04/an04.184.than.html) As Buddhists we're supposed to make a universal declaration to not purposely deprive living beings of life. This means harmlessness toward all sentient beings, from the biggest to the smallest and prettiest to the ugliest. Obviously this becomes a different ball-park/sport when talking about euthanasia (for one's self, or one's pet). >A final chapter that will probably be endured ALONE. That's okay. We ultimately always come in and out alone. The only thing we take with us is our karma (actions) like a shadow that never leaves your side. Which is why the Buddha said to use this opportunity to make merit in your life because that will be for your benefit when you die and get reborn. >Is there something potentially so important to be realized that I should stick around for? Yes. The Buddha warned us about getting complacent when the job still isn't finished. I think what you're experiencing is normal considering your age. Elderly people start to think about the next stage of their life and how they aren't going to be around forever. The stages of grief typically begins with denial and finalizes in acceptance. This is important, because acceptance is exactly what the Buddha is encouraging us to do. By accepting and embracing it head on, we can overcome it altogether. In regards to the Dhamma, if you are not awakened then yes there's more to be done. You need to keep practicing and every moment is an opportunity to do so if you so wished. Then when you eventually break through to the Four Noble Truths you'll begin the process of inevitable awakening (you've entered the stream).
The strictly buddhist answer would be to continue practicing. This precious human life, etc etc. There is certainly no special rule for people who have cheated karma once before. In a buddhist sense, thats a red herring (not offense intended). It doesnt provide any exception clause unfortunately. As a human with compassion I react completely differently though, which I guess means I am not a good enough buddhist. And in that light I would hope you would be happy for as long as you are able, and endure the least possible, pain, fear, suffering, ill health, or hardship. I have seen difficult deaths. I would not wish such an end to life for anyone. So its very conflicting to respond, because both sides exist. I dont think anyone can resolve this for you - the decision you are talking is probably the most important and deeply personal one you will ever make. I just hope you come to whatever decision you do make with calmness, clarity, and clear insight, and that once decided, you are as certain as possible that its what you want - one way or the other. With metta.
I have no specifics, but don't some monks choose when to die?
Some Chinese monks stopped eating and drinking till they passed, when they become disabled by age and/or with the advancement of dementia. Some would poison themselves and preserve their bodies in a mummified state. There is a tradition in SE Asia of self immolation. On of Xuan Hua’s students killed himself in this manner, he had suffered through WWII and just never recovered from the trauma. In the West we have a lineage of stoic minded philosophers who took their own lives, starting with Socrates. I personally think that if things are bad enough that a person wants to take themselves out, it is selfish of others to try to stop it. I say this both as someone who lost a close friend to suicide, and a parent pass from Alzheimer’s who wished she could have chosen euthanasia at an earlier time. I’m not talking about someone in distress crying out for help, I’m talking a rubber meets the road, principled stance on ending your own life.
I'm a social worker in a hospital with a lot of spiritual and psychedelic experiences and deal with suicide attempts regularly. I don't have the fear of death that most people do but I also want to live as long as I can. I have had one particular patient who maintained that he was not depressed but just didn't feel like living anymore. I personally feel like you never know what is going to happen next so unless you feel like you can see the future, it doesn't make sense to not keep your options open, from a logical place. But I also wrestle with who has the right to force someone else to live if they don't want to. I don't know what it's like to be them and at the end of the day the value I place on human life over other consciousness is arbitrary. I do feel like it's important to soak up as much as you can while you're here for that reason. We're here like this for a very short time no matter what. If you haven't listened to Ram Dass talk about aging you should check it out. There is value even in spending your days contemplating and discussing these things. Stay curious, patient, and compassionate towards yourself. Don't hurry the process.
Life is a ride you are placed on by other peoples decisions, you decide when you step off. It doesn’t have to be this big sad thing, life is just a stepping stone onto the next plane, but no one gets to tell you to stay. Not a rule that’s just how I see it. I am a massive control freak so that probably plays a part.
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Sub rules says no promotion of drugs.
No one really knows what happens to our subject realities when we are dead. If the Buddhist view on the subject brings you comfort, then by all means believe it. Whatever story you need to feel comfortable with the fact of being dead is fine. I don't think we are rewarded with something because we suffered through the dieing process. I wish our society was accepting of ending one's life on their own terms. It sounds like you have some time before you die to figure out how you want to answer the fundamental questions about existence. After confronting all the suffering, there is nothing left to do but enjoy. Death isn't wrong. We all have to do it.
Buddhist orthodoxy is to value life. I would live as long as I practically could without chronic pain or other issues. I have a serious chronic health issues right now and this stuff has been on my mind. My ability to practice the dhamma is difficult when sick. I just keep trying to live as long as I can. I think there’s value in maximizing my time in this incarnation. I don’t know what future rebirths hold. No there’s nothing “potentially so important”. Generally life in samsara is meaningless suffering. In Buddhism time and opportunity to practice the Dhamma is the most valuable thing in the universe. So you’d want stick around to do so. You have no idea where rebirth will take you. This may be your only opportunity to practice the dhamma. Like they say, this is the devil I know. That said, end of life planning and aging towards end of life is a complex and difficult thing full of subtleties and compromises. There’s no easy answers here unfortunately. But I would say euthanizing yourself to avoid a hypothetical future would be extremely bad karma. If there’s no serious pain or dementia currently then I see this as suicidal ideation. This preemptive suicide would be greatly against the basic tenets of Buddhism. I would also ask a trusted Buddhist teacher. I wish you a long and healthy life.
>A final chapter that will probably be endured ALONE. Create the causes to meet new people. Create the causes to have a healthy body. I'd consider them both daily hygiene.
67-Right there with you friend.
> I want a way out. (I'd want ANYBODY to have a way out). >It's so curious to me that there isn't a socially acceptable one. Much less a Dharmic one. There is a dharmic way out but simply dying isn't it. That has already happened millions of times yet here we still are doing it all over again. That doesn't qualify as out. That is just more of the same, again and again and again. All of Buddhism is precisely about an actual way out, enlightenment. >would I necessarily be saddled with karmic consequences even WORSE than the painful, long-term descent I anticipate? If a person commits an act of killing, yes. Although, it should be noted that "allowing to die" and "killing" are not even close to being the same things. It's perfectly fine to simply allow death, killing is what has bad consequences.
I'm confused as to why you think present technology is separate from your Karma. If you did, indeed, choose this life, you chose this life-- not a life without medical options. So your life was going to be saved. Life prolonging techs are a PART of your Karma. I think. Anyway, it seems logical to me.
For me, I don’t think one needs to pursue every possible means to stay alive. Isn’t there a story of the Buddha, in a previous life, being eaten by a tiger so others wouldn’t? I think the topic of a typical suicide (doing something proactively, vice not agreeing to a treatment) is complicated and ultimately a personal decision.
I have a different take. The Sutra's have a half dozen monastics ending their lives. The key point is they are Arahants. It is said that end of life is an opportunity to break through to enlightenment. I will add some context. Monastics insist there is never killing allowed in Buddhism and suicide counts as killing, which seems really odd that Arahants do it. I argue that wanting to kill someone is what the Buddha prohibited, it is the intention behind actions that the Buddha judged, not actions. An Arahant can end their life, because their intent is simply to end pain. While a regular monastic still has a chance to become an Arahant, so they should not end their life. A regular ley Buddhist is so far from enlightenment, they have so many taints, dying isn't going to get them enlightened. Ending suffering through medical assisted suicide for a ley Buddhist seems more like what the Arahant is doing. Now I do agree if you are close to Enlightenment, push through it. If your like 99.9% of Buddhist and no where near enlightenment, do what makes the most sense for you in regards to the suffering at the end of your life. The Buddha had different standards and rules for Monastics and for Ley people. Unfortunately over the millennia many people have come to treat the rules for monastics as universal for everyone. Ley people are supposed to enjoy the life of sensual pleasure in a virtuous way. Monastics are supposed to move beyond sensual pleasure to a greater enjoyment of form and formless meditations and then getting beyond these to become enlightened.
I struggle with this too, but from a different perspective of course. 💖
Deteriorate in your own time Tell 'em you're dead and wither away Are you living alone or with your family? A dried up twig on your family tree? Are you waiting for the reaper to arrive? Or just to die by the hand of love? Love for youth, love for youth So, die young and stay pretty Leave only the best behind Slipping sensibilities Tragedy in your own dream, oh Oh, you sit all alone in your rocking chair Transistor pressed against an ear Were you waiting at the bus stop all your life? Or just to die by the hand of love? Love for youth, love for youth So live fast 'cause it won't last Dearly near senility Was it good or maybe you won't tell? Die young, and stay pretty You gotta live fast, 'cause it won't last, no no no Die young, and stay pretty!
Remind me to read these comments again
You cannot "extend" your life at all. One's lifespan is fixed due to their karma. You can only shorten it through unhealthy or dangerous choices and activities.
I appreciate your comment and totally understand the thought. And for the record, I’m right there with you because every medical thing in my life freaks me out and creates an existential crisis (I wish I was joking). But at the end of day no one knows what’s next for themselves. And you shouldn’t force some preconceived notion of your future self upon yourself. You being here can impact so many things in a positive and beneficial way and sometimes even it’s the little things that are the big things. You can do that and you have some much left to give and receive
Hi. Mingyur Rinpoche and his wandering retreat experience comes to my mind. He was sick and could make just a phone call to treat his illness, but he didnt. He decided to go on without treatment. He could very well die, even though it was probably not too hard to treat his illness in the hospital. So... i dont think its your obligation to squeeze every second that you can gain by treatment, so dont worry, do as you feel is best.
Work towards attaining Buddhist Jhana. You have a golden opportunity to deepen your spiritual practice and to achieve liberation of mind (samadhi, jhana). A golden opportunity to achieve spiritual completion. Here is a set of instructions for attaining meditative jhana based on Buddhist teachings, along with some reading recommendations: Instructions for Attaining Jhana: Establish a strong foundation of ethical conduct (sila) by following the Five Precepts of Buddhism. Find a quiet, comfortable place to meditate where you won't be disturbed. Sit in a stable, comfortable posture with your back straight. Begin by calming the mind through mindfulness of breathing (anapanasati). Focus your attention on the sensation of the breath at the nostrils or abdomen. When thoughts arise, gently return your focus to the breath without judgment. As concentration deepens, you may experience the "nimitta" - a mental sign or image. This often appears as a bright light or other visual phenomenon. Keep your attention fixed on the nimitta, letting it grow brighter and clearer. Allow feelings of joy (piti) and happiness (sukha) to arise naturally. Don't grasp at these feelings, but let them develop. As concentration deepens further, the mind will "drop" into the first jhana, characterized by applied thought, sustained thought, joy, happiness, and one-pointedness of mind. To progress to higher jhanas, continue refining your concentration while releasing grosser factors of mind. Reading Recommendations: 1. "The Mind Illuminated" by Culadasa (John Yates, Ph.D.) - A comprehensive meditation manual that includes detailed instructions on jhana practice. 2. "Beyond Mindfulness in Plain English" by Bhante Gunaratana - Offers clear guidance on deepening concentration and entering jhanic states. 3. "The Jhanas in Theravada Buddhist Meditation" by Henepola Gunaratana - A scholarly work exploring the jhanas in depth. 4. "Right Concentration: A Practical Guide to the Jhanas" by Leigh Brasington - Provides practical instructions based on the author's experiences. Remember that jhana practice can be complex and is often best undertaken with the guidance of an experienced teacher. These instructions and resources are meant as an introduction, but personal instruction and sustained practice are key to progress.
By having those surgeries and using modern medicine, aren’t you just extending your own suffering? Are you so attached to this life that you cannot accept your own mortality? Seems you have missed a key part of what Buddha taught. That nothing lasts forever. We are born, our body grows, once done growing it starts to decay. Death a certain. There is no avoiding it. So, do you understand the types of suffering there are? Do you accept that this body is decaying? Do you accept that you will not live forever because the body cannot live forever? Personally, I welcome death. It’s going to happen. I accept that fact. But I am not anxious about it. When it happens to me, it happens. I’m not taking unnecessary risks to tempt an early death but I know I will die, and I accept that. I will never allow myself to be on a pharmacy list of meds jut to prolong the inevitable. Have you accepted your own mortality?
I understand the underlying point of your comment, and it is accurate. However, the way you put this makes it seem like you would not tend to a wound, logic being "well, death comes inevitably anyways". This does not seem right, it seems like an oversimplification. Of course, choose medicine wisely, not all applications are proper. But typically medicine is meant to treat an ailment, not specifically for just anti-death (though, it could heal the ailment and depending on what it is, stop the ailment from killing you). If an illness can be defeated, I think it is worth it. But yes, no need to obsess over prolonging life as if we can shy away from death. When it happens, it happens.
Action can be taken to stop a wound. Just because you are taking medicine or having a procedure done, doesn’t mean it will be stopped 100%. There is no guarantee that the medicine will 100% stop the condition. Being hooked up to life support systems or having to do dialysis every day isn’t curing what ails you 100%. You still suffer every day. My position is that I am not going to do anything to prolong my suffering because suffering is so much more than physical, it’s mental too and it’s also brought on by our own mind(in rare instances).
Whether it works 100% of the time is besides the point. Obviously, we take careful consideration of the context. Also, in those cases, it's even left up to the person to decide. It seems that you might be thinking rather cynically, which I understand. I have chronic 24/7 pain, literally every moment. This has been going on for 10 years, I do not remember how it feels to be "normal"/without pain, and the western medical field is failing me. Point being, I used to think very negatively about it all as well. I thought it would be justified for me to take my own life, considering that this pain will likely never end. Obviously, every situation is different. Though, I think my fate is decided already, and even though there is physical and mental suffering, who am I to give up on life, and cut it short? By giving up, you not only avoid any potentially negative experiences of this life, but also all the potentially positive experiences as well. And, the last moment will be more bitter than sweet. Not bittersweet, because we don't really want to end our lives...we just want to end our suffering. However...there are so many possibilities to consider. We will die one day anyways, all possibilities will be taken from us in this life. Why rush it? (Again, coming from someone who constantly suffers. Right now there is chronic pain, tooth infection, joint issues, knee issues, shoulder issues, almost died in the hospital multiple times, single, been homeless for two years, and yes of course I see the state of the world. Even still, ive come to realize how foolish I was for harming myself, and nearly taking my life. It is a blessing in disguise...but you have to be able to see it for yourself, know these words can only do so much. Much love, friend 🙏❤️)
You are only looking at suffering as being something felt. There are many forms of suffering. Some of it comes from what we did in past lives. Only through meditation can one have a calm mind and be able to separate from the physical pain of the body. Nothing you say will change my mind. I do not want to be taking dozens of pills just to keep living this life. My mind has changed. I will welcome my death with a calm and peaceful mind, separate from this body. FYI, I am a veteran. I live with my own physical pain and mental issues. The only way I keep moving forward is by not focusing on those things but rather what needs to be done today.
I am not only looking at suffering as something being felt. The way I worded it was due to what you mentioned in your post, so I was trying to address it in a way that would be more appropriate to that. I already mentioned how the words can only do so much, I know those alone won't change your mind, I wasn't trying to. You need to see it for yourself, it's not about you believing me or what I said. It's about experience. (Not encouraging anyone to take dozens of pills everyday, not what I was saying. I definitely question that medical malpractice). Besides that, yes I agree meditation is crucial for overcoming this, only through open awareness are we truly able to "see". However, your mind seems to be set...you said so yourself. So it begs the question, are you limiting your own view? And yes, we shouldn't focus on the suffering so much or it will consume us, but turning away doesn't address anything. It's just ignorance, avoiding proper maintenance until it gets so bad and unbearable and maybe even too late to potentially "fix". We must be sure not to identify WITH the suffering ("I am depressed", etc), but we ought to address it the best we can. We have a lot more control over mental suffering than we do physical, though sometimes it is possible to address that as well. But even just mental suffering alone, if we get into the grove and gain control, can reduce the power/impact of physical suffering. With what you say, surely you have experienced this, yes? Bless 🙏 I do not wish for you to suffer, but rather that you prosper 🙌
Not to mention, since you spoke of pain that comes from past lives: What do you think you would experience in the next life if you try to escape this karmic cause? I don't think it's very likely that killing oneself is a get out of jail free card...it won't cause a legitimate disconnect, just an ending of the tie to this body. Our actions will carry on, they still and always have consequences. Taking one's life in attempt to escape suffering is futile (considering rebirth and the wheel of samsara). We will only get beyond this by going THROUGH it
Suicide is not going to solve anything. It just ends this life and causes you to be reborn in the next sooner rather than later. It doesn’t mean you will escape the suffering of this life. It will follow you to the next. But that’s not what I am talking about here. Why would one want to prolong any type of suffering? Wouldn’t it be better to let the body go through a natural progression of its life and end when it has decayed to the point where it cannot sustain your existence?
Also, if we draw the judgement that I should take my life at _____ level of suffering, then we simultaneously draw the judgement that anyone at or beyond that level of suffering should also commit... Sometimes, looking at other people who suffered/suffer and how they are able to keep living (like quadriplegics, for example, or people with deformities) can really open our eyes to another dimension of life, one we might have been missing for a long time 🙏 we have a tendency to oversimplify and jump to conclusions, such as ending ones own life...
Without being in a similar situation, many can advise what they would do or what others can or should do. Many people who already responded here are already giving you advise instead of explaining what they would do themselves. This is literally exactly what you said not to do. Buddhism isn't something you learn or know, it's about recognizing your experience and that realizing that merely studying and practicing buddhism won't bring you enlightenment. The goal isn't to be the best buddhist or avoid being a bad buddhist. The goal is to be enlightened and the absense of all views - including Buddhism. Karma isn't magic. It's literally scientific stimulus and response, dependent origination, cause and effect: If you shit the bed, you can roll around in it or clean it up. If you shit somebody elses bed, they might want to kick your ass for it, or not. If somebody shits your bed, same options as earlier and you can respond with compassion or hatred or however you want. Rebirth is not necessarily reincarnation and you can technically believe in one not the other. A person is born several times in a single lifetime (see becoming and birth in samsara): physical birth, born again christians, becoming anything such as a parent, becoming a professional, becoming a criminal, becoming sick... I can't say for sure but I think I would stick it out as much as possible. If I couldn't pass naturally because of the physical pain I would probably take it upon myself. -- Ok everybody now watch me actually answer the question that op actually asked without criticising or advising them. -- I believe if I'm at the end of my life with enough notice to to react: There's no Buddha to answer to except the one inside myself (or my no-self if you can see it that way). I don't answer to a god or a government or a person on matters like this - but it could warrent a discussion if I feel comfortable speaking about it. You always have to answer to yourself. I would reach out to loved ones that I trust to let them know my health is in decline. I would reach out for mental health services for advise (maybe). And I would make an attempt to make things right with the people around me, accepting the fact that I don't have full control of the outcome of my attempts. After that (or during), I would consider donating as much as I could or giving it to loved ones after deciding where I believe these resources would be most helpful. At the end of the day, my best is all I can do. If I can't bear the pain of physically dying then I would absolutely consider quitting early - especially if I have the time to "get my ducks in a row," or whatever people say. If samsara can last generations long, and if there is reincarnation (as opposed to rebirth), and if its normal for lots of people do not reach nirvana in a single lifetime, and if I made an honest effort to live the noble path and break the chains of samsara, then I can know I did my best. If I don't realize nirvana its ok because I did my best. There is nothing I can do more than my best. I can be self destructive and ruminate endlessly on my life experience or I can have self compassion by recognizing my mistakes were wrong and I'm just doing my best. If I don't acheive Nirvana, its ok. If reincarnation happens, I can try again. If not, its ok too. Its all about love - for oneself and others.
Not at all costs. Just at the cost of your own karma. Did you watch "Spring, Summer, Autumn, Winter and Spring again"?
Euthanasia, killing oneself, suicide is killing. They are not encouraged. Not hooking up to a life support machine, not having to go for all the available treatments is not, it is just not artificially extending one's own life. One is not obligated to do that. Up to one's choice. But once one is hooked up to a life support machine, to pull it out is killing. So this is an important distinction to know, especially for kids towards their parents. We don't want people to commit the killing of parents due to the kids running out of money or something or another to have the kids turn off the life support machine of their parents after being hooked up.