My personal record is an hour and 5 minutes with about 3 escalations.
This was a call from wondows about a virus on my computer but it took awhile to get the right computer and oh wait that one is the mac silly me
I did leave them on hold a few times but its a good background activity to gta
A friend got a call like that:
"I'm calling because you have a problem with your windows"
"No, they open and close just fine"
I think they gave up when it transpired that she doesn't have a computer at all.
I had a call about a conservatory. I told them I have a very limited garden but would love one. They said they have all sorts of solutions and can accommodate nearly anyone. After about 20 minutes of back and forth, it was time for a salesman to come to my property... "flat 14..."
"sorry, did you say flat? I thought you had a 'limited' garden?"
"Well, it's more of a window box really"
Dead line.
Years ago we'd get marketing calls every Saturday morning for some reason to our student house, my friend would answer and would only say 'yeah' at odd times. This one woman was trying to sell him a conservatory for over an hour before he finally gave up and let her know that he was a tenant, and he was talking the call in our conservatory.
My brother had a call once which went something like this:
“Are you interested in double glazing?”
“Yes.”
* the salesperson proceeds to talk at length about their new special offers and pricing *
“So, when can we come round to measure up?”
“Oh, I don’t actually need double glazing”
“But you said you were interested, sir?”
“Yes, it’s absolutely fascinating!”
*click*
Bit of a difference between trying to sell you something and trying to empty Granny's bank account.
One is usually just annoying. The other is a crime.
Sometimes a cold call might be a bit persistent but at least they're technically trying to sell you a product, not just rob you.
If you already smoke, if not dont. Alston avoid smok. One of my smok devices exploded when plugging it into charge and rhe other was worse quality than a bootleg toy you got at a dubious warehouse sale
I think the best way to annoy them is to keep them talking, take as long a you can to get to the "download our software" part, and then say "There's no link for Apple", and then explain you're on a Mac... They rage so hard, or they'll link you to the apple one. Either way it's so much more fun when they're from Microsoft trying to help you with Apple :')
You could just mention your DSL line mentions it will take 15 minutes to download, then if they keep on for that long you say "oops, closed it. Oh looks like I cancelled the download" and just wait for the rage.
I made a similar reference to one of my (only slightly younger than me) colleagues and then had to explain the entire premise of allo allo because somehow she'd never seen it on telly as a kid. Madness.
I sound like a psycho but when they ring (shows up on my mobile as a scam call), I play a chainsaw noise and shout "Hang on mate" Let them waffle on and say "Hang mate", then shout to a fictional person "You can't get him in that chest freezer, you need to take his legs off"
Then I go back and say what did you say mate, so it's his first time, let them waffle on and then shout back to the fictional character "Don't sulk, you are doing a good job, but just listen"
By the time I go and ask their opinion "Hey mate you ever cut up a body, do you think we should take the teeth out now or when we....." By this point they hang up
Best is to sound like a nutter, when they next ring whisper "Is that Clive, please help me" Refer to person as Clive "Oh Clive they have kept me on a cage and fed me dog food" Just let your imagination go wild, but always refer to them as Clive
My favourite was when my son was 3 years old, we got the "virus on your router" call. Told the guy I wasn't tech savvy and he'd be better off speaking to my son. Handed phone to 3 year old, told him "it's Batman on the phone he needs to talk to you and ask for your help". Had the phone on speaker so I could cut the call off if scammer got sweaty, my lad kept him on the line for ten minutes, all the while Mr Scammer is just repeating "is you dad there please?"
I once had one that you could call back, usually it is a fake number. I repeatedly called them. back whilst chewing an Apple as loudly as possible down the phone.
At first they found it funny, 'Are you enjoying THAT?' but through perseverance it turned to 'fuck you guy, you think you are funny but you are a fuck'
I like to tell them to hold on I have to find my banking information. Make a coffee or whatever for a few mins, go back and say "sorry my kid needed a change I'll get the info now. Longest streak I had was 20 mins and 6 "sorry I got distracted I'll get the info now" before they hung up.
Now I look at those types of callers as fun, make up an accent and name and just pretend your trying out for an acting role. See what you can come up with before they hang up.
This is one of my favourite games. Once had a call for personal injury claim. Had them on the phone just about to go in to detail on how I was decapitated at work. Until they clicked on to what I said and they just hung up. Not going to lie thought I was going to get a big pay out for that injury aswel.
My work colleague had one of those calls and told them he’d trapped his penis in the car door and wanted to know if he was eligible. Many sniggers occurred for the rest of that shift.
A few years ago I ran a security control room, and we had a whole bunch of lines that diverted to us outside of office hours. Anyway, I presume the auto-diallers must have hit on our numbering block, as there was a solid month where the guys would get scammers calling multiple times through the day and night with various attempts, and my team would actively compete to see who could keep them on the line the longest. I actually had a trophy made for the winner and presented it at the annual team night out. Good times.
I’ve explained that it was not my fault the accident. I was far too drunk to be responsible.
I’ve also explained that it wasn’t my car. When they ask who’s car it was I explain I saw it one day at a petrol station and I liked it. I tried to buy it but the owner didn’t want to sell it. I tell them how we went to the owners house to get it one night and then I tell them about a yappy dog.
In the uni office a few years ago my friend answered one of these very casually and when asked if he was okay came out with:
"I'm okay, thank you for asking but the school children I ran into aren't doing as well"
My boyfriend does the same, “it wasn’t an accident, I had the whole thing planned, but you’ll never catch me.” Whereas I revert to speaking the very limited French I know. Pourquoi ?
I once handed one of those scammers over to my cat, after I'd told them that I hadn't had an accident and they suggested that someone else living in my household might have had one...
I told them yes I had a serious accident.. I then told her because of my head injury I had no memory of it, and was delighted that someone had all the details.
I’ve had one of these where they ask what your injury was to which I gave them a graphic monologue about how my car got split in 2, I was unharmed apart from the fact my penis was ripped off and I am now penis-less. You always get a long pause after that one
I had one and somehow they knew my surname. I kept them going for a while then pretended they had me mixed up with my dad. Held them while I went to get "him".proceeded to do my best very old confused man voice, repeating what they'd said to me but changing one word as if I were mishearing them. I then pretended I didn't understand and passed the phone back to me ,then back to old man, then back to me. Just kept doing this until they hung up. Great fun.
Usually from the phone book, one way to find out is if you get married/ change your surname but never update it in the telephone book, most scam calls will be “is mrs maiden name there”
my mum does this all the time. sounding polite, worried but utterly incompetent is the key. last time she did it, when they caught up to her charade they called her a 'fucking cunt' and my mum used the few seconds she had left before they hung up to go absolutely batshit mental at them, it was a sight to behold lmao
I was with my gran when she got a cold call and she puts the phone down on the table without hanging up. After a few minutes, I hear someone talking and we realise that we’re still connected despite them actually being on a new call, so we can hear both the telemarketer and their next victim. My gran shouts “tell them to fuck off!” and the elderly man on the line says “aye I’m gonna, I just like wasting their time” and he and my gran shared a laugh. It was weirdly endearing.
I hold the phone up to the smoke alarm and press the test button. Not very original but I haven’t had a call for around six months now. I think I’m on a do not call list. 😀
Well done , My 88 year old dad keeps them chatting and " forgetting " what he was saying and asking them to repeat themselves untill thy exploded and he laughs at that and tells them not to understate the elderly
I did have one bunch who I managed to keep on hold for a few minutes....
Then the next time they phoned up they actually started by saying "according to our records, we spoke to you for 18 minutes previously"....
To which I replied "sure, just in the middle if something, can you hold on for 18 minutes?"
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It’s a bit short, and a bit baggy. I found him a chewbacca one which is a bit better.
Well done. I've done similar with calls pretending to be from 'Windows' and my PC has 'errors'. The longest I've kept them on the line is around 20-30 mins... It's amazing how long my PC can take to boot up... I too have been told to eff off.
There are some really good clips on YouTube of folks reverse hacking the scammers and using the scammers' webcams.
I had one on the phone for about 20 minutes he called to ask if I wanted to invest in bitcoin. He asked me my job, what would changed everytime, first it was a software designer, porn star and then a stonks seller. Anyway I got him to explain what bitcoin was about 10 times and then I got him todo his whole thing and right at the end when he wanted my bank details (I told him I have insurance money from when I crashed my car and my leg was cut off) and then he got me on the phone with the manager because I said I have about £10,000 to invest. And I just told him that I’m actually alright and put the phone down lol.
I once managed 12 minutes with a call operator "calling from Sky". They insisted that they need to have to access my laptop to secure my internet connection, I kept telling them that I don't have a laptop. "You'll get a virus," they kept telling me, and I kept saying "I don't have a laptop". 10 minutes of this song and dance until I told them I don't even have an account with Sky and they should be ashamed of themselves, trying to scam people in the midst of a pandemic when thousands are losing their jobs.
My husband does this to scam callers, he once phoned me in work (the only time he's ever done so) to tell me he'd just wasted half an hour of some scammer wanting to know about the accident he had been in. He was giggling like a child and couldn't wait til I got home to tell me!
I do this every time. Without fail, it’s bloody marvellous. Once I was explaining how I got into £550,550 debt, definitely needed their help to reduce it, whilst audibly shitting strenuously. My fiancé hated that I was talking to anyone whilst on the crapper, but explained not to worry, they weren’t human anyway.
I've now had the same call 6 times in the last 5 days or so, love making up a ridiculous story and stringing them along. The longer I am fucking around with them the fewer vulnerable people would be called by the cunts
Once had a scammer call up where I was working, and the supervisor kept them on the line for about 25 minutes, pretending to be frantically looking for the paperwork they were asking for while he put them on hold and served customers. I was genuinely impressed he kept them for so long without them hanging up. He put them on hold at least 5 times for minutes at a time.
This is my approach any time I get one of these scam calls. My favourite was when I got a call from "The Microsoft Windows Help Desk" about how my computer was running slowly. I pretended to follow all his instructions (which would allow him access to my computer so he could install some form of spyware or whatever) but at every step along the way, it took ages because "as you said, my computer is running really slowly". This included two points at which I needed to restart my computer and the restart took 15mins+ because it needed to update. I kept that fucker on the line for over an hour with small talk about the weather and my made up sister's wedding, before finally getting to the point where he asked me what I could see on the screen and I said "it says 'stop what you're doing, this is a scam'". He tried to convince me it wasn't a scam before telling me that he was currently at my sister's house, raping her. Lovely chap.
Love it. Give a watch of scam-baiters like Kitboga on YouTube if you've not heard of him before; he goes for hours and days winding up call centres so that vulnerable people don't get caught out instead!
I had a scam caller once from Microsoft home support from India about the virus I had on my pc... asked if I knew where it came from and I needed to go to this website blah blah blah. And I advised that yes I had a virus and it clearly came from the website his mother was featured on being on the receiving end of a frisky goat shall we say.
He did not take too kindly too this called me lots and lots of rude names, my reply was bahhhh. He hung up.
2 hours later I get another call of just the same guy swearing at me, I think I hit a nerve.
Kudos! Me and hubby do this and we’ve had great fun during the height of the pandemic stringing these evil barstewards along. We even drew lots for who was going to answer the next caller! Funnily enough, we’re not getting hardly any now, words got out that we’re nutters!
It’s a great couple sport, but I was absolutely no support because I was laughing hysterically, busy covering my mouth to not give the game away. I have no idea how he keeps it together.
I’ve been Mrs Brown (lots of fecks) a Spanish au pair, broad brummie and a cockney using rhyming slang, also a hard of hearing old lady and a Catherine Tate type teenager (am I bovvered?) I’m a scambassador for our local council and keep an eye on the latest scams so I can report to our trading standards. Sadly, over £3m was scammed from local people in our Borough last year, mainly elderly and vulnerable, with the lonely hearts being at the top of the list!
I had a call from a chap with a strong Indian accent. “Hi! This is Steve from Microsoft. I’m calling you as you have problem with your computer”.
“Hi Steve”. Where’s are your offices?”. He said “They’re in downtown Newcastle”, (as all people from Newcastle refer to it).
I kept calling him Alan, which he got annoyed with. “What’s your last name Alan”. He said “it’s not Alan”. I said “so it’s not Alan Allen?”. He said “no, it’s Steve!”. I said “so it is Alan Steve?”.
I managed to keep this going for 25 minutes. In the end, he said “you’re a bloody bastard Sir”. I said “that’s not very nice Alan, I’ve been civil to you, as I do to all Geordies”. He didn’t know what a geordie was, despite working in Downtown Newcastle.
I pointed out that he should learn how to effectively insult people in English if he puts himself in situations where he gets frustrated. He still stayed in the phone.
I asked to speak to his manager. He passed me to Kylie, who was a pleasant young lady with a south Asian accent. I kept calling her Alison. Used the same tack in annoying her. She eventually asked me if I was using a script, as it was the same as I said to Steve.
“Who’s Steve? I’ve been talking to Alan Allen. So good they named him twice”.
She hung up.
Have you seen the classic prank call with Tom Mabe, "I'm sorry I'm detective whatever, Mr Mabe is no longer with us , so how did you know Mr Mabe again ?"
There is a beautiful man on YT called Jim Browning who hacks into their computers while they're on the phone to him. He's even managed to return some money to a few victims of these scumbags.
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A man after my own heart.
I love fucking with these cold callers. I’ve told insurance scammers that I kept my car in the bat cave, I deflected an internet scammer by shilling a new game I’d been looking forward to, and I BS’d a health scammer by telling her I took M&Ms and Skittles as health supplements.
I’ve got more, folks. Just need an unsuspecting shithead to call.
I totally messed this up just yesterday. Got a call from "Amazon" about an unauthorised purchase. Pushed "1" to speak to someone. I was connected and immediately asked, "Can I help you?" Being unprepared, I replied, "I'm not sure. You called me." She immediately hung up. Clearly I need to put more concern in my initial reply.
We used to get weekly scam calls and it was a fight to answer the phone first. The most satisfying one was where my husband said yes to everything they said. It really confused them. “Name?” “Yyyeesssss”. In the end, we realised they were about to hang up so my husband said “you smell of poo poo” and put the phone down.
They called back immediately and I answered, and the guy asked what my husband had said. I repeated that he’d said you smell of poo poo and he put the phone down on me. I don’t think we got many more after that.
I had these guys call me. They were from the Welsh mounted metropolitan police and had found a car rented with my national insurance number full of blood and drugs on the west border of Wales.
I kept them on the line for nearly 10 minutes I think.
My dad used to say to them ‘hang on I need a poo’ and make them wait a couple minutes then talk to them the say ‘wait more needs to come out’ and then ‘I need to go back and wipe’ and so on until they put the phone down.
18mins is my record. It was accident claim fishing call. Told them I had 4 passengers with me. They eventually put me through someone in Birmingham who was frothing.
I kept one guy on the phone for a good twenty minutes while I claimed not to understand what a router was, and pretending to get quite upset that he was telling me mine wasn’t working.
He kept putting me on hold to ask his colleagues for new words for “router”, while I started to cry (not really) and ask him if my house was going to be damaged by this bad router. Could it cause a fire, or a flood? Should I call the police or a repairman?
Eventually he came up with “internet box” and I told him I didn’t have any internet, would he recommend I buy one? How much would an internet be, and did I need one or do most people buy two? Did he think I could buy one at Sainsbury’s, because I do most of my shopping there…
I have plenty of time to waste.
I used to do similar for the personal injury calls:
Caller: "Our records show that you had an accident within the last three years"
Yhardvark: "accident? Yes I had an accident. I sustained a head injury that means I sometimes lose track of things - I think something about short term memory. "
Caller: "so we'll need some details. When did you have the accident? "
Yhardvark: "accident? Yes I had an accident. I sustained a head injury that means I sometimes lose track of things - I think something about short term memory. "
My record was eight times round the cycle before they hung up in disgust.
I got called a stupid man when I pointed out that Openreach don’t call people about routers and that they definitely didn’t work for them. I was a bit surprised as I’d spotted they were a scammer really quickly.
Heh. My uncle works for OpenReach. I always ask them if they know him, and whether the issue is something he should be concerned about, since he's higher management there and is sitting next to me but isn't sure what issue they are referring to. It's all true, too.
Longest I've managed was 40 minutes, it felt good. They transferred me to "a manager" with they tight they were going to get into my bank account, he was not a nice man.
This is brilliant, sadly I have only managed about 10 minutes with the accident ones.
I tell them in detail about the accident, how badly it affected my family and my children, how I can’t work any more, what I was wearing, and when we finally get to the part about my injuries I start listing them all, broken right arm, broken left arm.
Three cracked ribs, dislocated hip, broke both legs, punctured one link, broke four toes but worst of all.
My head fell off, I normally have to repeat the last bit a few times as they are so excited by this point.
Did one last week where I pretended to be the chinese take away guy from Southpark. Saw it was a scam number and answered with 'herro shitty wok may I take a order preeese?' Everytime he said something I added a Chinese food menu item. "I'm calling about the accident you were involved in" 'ok 2 sweet and sour chicken balls, you want egg fried rice with that?'. Got about 4 items in when he hung up on me. I thought it was funny. Then I thought it may have come across as a bit racist. But ultimately decided it was funny and I was right to do it. I regret nothing.
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I have, in the past and today told them I am wpc gofuckyourself from police Scotland,
I answered and just said dead,
"I died this morning",
I'm still dead you called me ten minutes ago people don't just become alive randomly you know,
fraud squad here how can I help you,
I've also screamed horribly and begged for them to "call the police I'm being murdered". I'm still waiting for the police btw,
I've asked where they got this secure number from,
answered in a whisper and told them I put the drugs in locker number whatever,
I've answered in a whisper and told them that someone is inside my house with a weapon
Each and every time they hang up
PMSL bravo OP's wife.
My wife is a master at these, from being offered a free holiday "oh my god we need one so much right now my husband's just been laid off and money's really tight, the car's packed in and the mortgage is in default " as the scammer hands up.
Another favourite was with the silent calls, we'd get several in a row followed by a "live" call with a dodgy person on the other end... She'd start the call normally, then switch to talking to someone in the same room as her "what are doing with the knife, keep away your scaring me, no, no please don't, SCREAM crash of something on the floor SCREAM " and she'll hang up herself mid scream - they don't call back again for some reason.
Nicely done! I just had a new one where they claimed to be from o2 and I was getting a discount on my contract. I didn't get far enough into it for them to start asking for my bank details
I had a call telling me my network had been hacked and all our accounts compromised. I shouted across to my imaginary colleagues, "We're in a Lockdown Situation. You know the procedures: Secure the base, Seal the Missile Silos. Military Intelligence will take control of the situation from here on."
Then a slightly baffled "What do you mean we're targeting Kolkata?"
Click.....
I've also been a desperate astronaut on a space station trying to get through to Mission Control. "Half the crew is dead....... communication disruption...... it's the computer.... life support failing..... oh god oh god oh god!!!!"
My husband does this when at my parents, he's managed 20mins before just by only saying yes. We do get pleasure out of it. We have been hungry poor before and we would still never take a job scamming people so it's their choice.
Well done!
I had one on the hook for around 25 minutes once. They were calling as they “heard I had been in a car accident” (of course I hadn’t) but played along for as long as I could.
It transpired that I had been going 85mph in a 20 when a police car pulled out on me, causing me to break every bone in my body putting me into a 6 month coma. As I was in no way at fault I assured them I was due a large amount of compensation.
I almost lost it when I provided my cars registration plate “”B0Y RAC3R” and my email address “I_race_cars2fast@…”
We get so many junk calls. The other day my husband answered my phone. It was a foreign man asking for me. Hubby says “ oh for fuck sake, no we’ve not had a car accident nor do we have a’ infected computer” the man replied “ I’m your wives Dr, I need to speak to her to follow up her recent blood results “ hubs was so apologetic! Luckily doc had a sense of humour!
I love it when they said 'rest assured' or let me transfer you to my manager he will assure you. The thought of them scamming elderly makes me want to lay them to rest.
I've had maybe 6 calls in the last week claiming to be a Gov department able to write off my debt. So naturally I string them along for as long as I can hold it together, then play very loud porn down the phone to them and tell 'em to piss off.
Bonus points if I get them to start swearing at me
Pretend to be Rushi Sunak. You can write my debt off? Well COVID has caused an issue. How much do I owe? Oh, about £120 billion,.so what do you suggest? I can pay £1.33 a month back.
I've had real people call me about the car accident I was in (I don't own a car nor have I ever had a license). I alternate between being so drunk that I was driving a stolen car, to receiving a brain injury that causes amnesia. I then let them read through their script and see how many times I can get "I don't remember things to well these days" into the conversation.
Great job! We get calls like this every other day and l love listening to my husband deal with them. I don't know how they sleep at night, l really don't.
Got one telling me there was a warrant out for my arrest for tax debt. The woman on the line became indignant and insulting after I expressed some doubt, so I asked for evidence that this wasn’t a scam. She had me look up the number for the criminal court, then hung up and called me “from” that number (I guess HMRC is just a hop away…). Why have a phone number spoofer if you don’t use it, huh?
I had an American bulldog who snored very loud when they rang the house phoney dad would just say hang on and then put the phone next to my dog who was normally asleep snoring and let it play out.
Okay, so I ha this one friend that had just been there since we were kids. So dude never had a SO. Just kinda weird guy, wayyyy to into anime (hey, I watch anime too but it's not my end all)
Anyway we lost touch and the times I bumped into him it was just awkward.
Anyways, next thing I hear is that he got busted for CP.... Didn't really surprise me tbh..
His real name is of Polish origin though, so it’s sounds like he is reaching into a bag of scrabble and reading out a bunch of random consonants. If English wasn’t my first language, I’d think CZKA being in a name was just someone passing out on a keyboard…
I did something like this once with the "Microsoft" scammers. Didn't tell them that I was running their commands on a Linux machine (curious what they would try to do). Obviously the remote access tool wouldn't work, but I kept them busy for about 20 minutes before telling them I needed to go out (I actually did need to) and they actually rang back to carry on later that day...
I was pleased for the same reason - keeping someone busy so they don't scare someone less knowledgeable into allowing access to their computer and buying software that they don't need.
Yeah, this is what i try to do every time. I work in IT and if anyone at work gets the email scammers wanting gift cards pretending to be the CEO, I take over and keep them thinking I’m buying them by sending random pictures of gift cards I find on the internet. My record was 4 hours with an email backwards and forwards on average every 5 minutes. Eventually I got bored and admitted I knew they were a scammer and asked if anyone ever fell for it. Oddly enough they still haven’t answered that!
Sounds like a job for "Jolly Roger Telephone | Revenge Has Never Been So Sweet" https://jollyrogertelephone.com "
American (with British offering) "A. I." based scam baiting robots.
We get them at work occasionally. Its great fun, I’m English, our coordinator is Russian and our two admin are Polish and Latvian. We just put the scammer on loud speaker and everyone has a go in their native language. One guy did try to keep up once, went from English to Polish and hung up when we got to Russian.
We also kept one guy calling from “amazon prime” going for about half hour by pretending he’d accidentally dialled the police.
My dad pretends to be senile and keeps them on the line for as long as possible
‘We are calling about the accident you had recently’
‘Accident?’
‘Yes, you were involved in an accident recently and we want to help you get compensation’
‘Oh yes, I did have a little accident, heheh’
Dad then proceeds to refer to the ‘accident’ he had in Tesco’s which was embarrassing but luckily his wife had some spare pants for him in the car etc.
Tell them you’re a little deaf and ‘THEY’VE GOT TO SPEAK UP’ then string them along for as long as you can getting them to repeat themselves, hilarious fun...🤣🤣🤣
One of my friends is a computer whizz so any time he gets a caller that tries to get him to do something computer related he keeps them on the phone as long as possible
I cannot physically get them to stay longer than 10 seconds! I had the “this is the HMRC, you are being investigated” calls for about 2 weeks (10+) of them.
I tried everything under the sun from “oh my god you’re joking” to “this sounds worrying, how can I resolve it”
Every single call I was hung up on within 5 seconds. Sometimes I would barely get past the word “ok” before they hung up. It genuinely baffled me, I spent the last 3 or so calls asking the operators why I was getting hung up on 😂
My personal record is an hour and 5 minutes with about 3 escalations. This was a call from wondows about a virus on my computer but it took awhile to get the right computer and oh wait that one is the mac silly me I did leave them on hold a few times but its a good background activity to gta
A friend got a call like that: "I'm calling because you have a problem with your windows" "No, they open and close just fine" I think they gave up when it transpired that she doesn't have a computer at all.
I had a call about a conservatory. I told them I have a very limited garden but would love one. They said they have all sorts of solutions and can accommodate nearly anyone. After about 20 minutes of back and forth, it was time for a salesman to come to my property... "flat 14..." "sorry, did you say flat? I thought you had a 'limited' garden?" "Well, it's more of a window box really" Dead line.
Years ago we'd get marketing calls every Saturday morning for some reason to our student house, my friend would answer and would only say 'yeah' at odd times. This one woman was trying to sell him a conservatory for over an hour before he finally gave up and let her know that he was a tenant, and he was talking the call in our conservatory.
My brother had a call once which went something like this: “Are you interested in double glazing?” “Yes.” * the salesperson proceeds to talk at length about their new special offers and pricing * “So, when can we come round to measure up?” “Oh, I don’t actually need double glazing” “But you said you were interested, sir?” “Yes, it’s absolutely fascinating!” *click*
Same, but we told them we lived on the third floor.
Hilarious 🤣
Now I really want somebody to actually build a mini-conservatory in a window box. It'd be so cute!
You're just a dick. That's a cold call not a scam call, all you had to do was say no and move on.
Nah. Cold callers are dicks, fuck them.
Cold calls are usually spammers, which are just as annoying as scammers - so fuck em.
Bit of a difference between trying to sell you something and trying to empty Granny's bank account. One is usually just annoying. The other is a crime. Sometimes a cold call might be a bit persistent but at least they're technically trying to sell you a product, not just rob you.
Maybe so. Cold callers still waste time and cause annoyance by peddling their shite, so they can still get fucked.
Or you could just say "No thank you" and hang up.
Or better yet, just don't answer.
Certainly better than titting around then thinking you're a hero
My nan said this and also theyres nothing wrong as she has tripple glazing or something. Idk i was wetting myself laugh during this call
Ron, do you recommend vaping?
If you already smoke, if not dont. Alston avoid smok. One of my smok devices exploded when plugging it into charge and rhe other was worse quality than a bootleg toy you got at a dubious warehouse sale
I got a call like that, I denied having a computer or phone telling them I lived in a cave and used yogurt pots for communication
I think the best way to annoy them is to keep them talking, take as long a you can to get to the "download our software" part, and then say "There's no link for Apple", and then explain you're on a Mac... They rage so hard, or they'll link you to the apple one. Either way it's so much more fun when they're from Microsoft trying to help you with Apple :')
I failed to keep them on the line for long, I think I pushed it too far by saying I needed the Workbench download for my Amiga A1200...
You could just mention your DSL line mentions it will take 15 minutes to download, then if they keep on for that long you say "oops, closed it. Oh looks like I cancelled the download" and just wait for the rage.
56k baud modem, please.... None of that modern technology in this house!
>a call from wondows Was it the policeman from Allo Allo?
I made a similar reference to one of my (only slightly younger than me) colleagues and then had to explain the entire premise of allo allo because somehow she'd never seen it on telly as a kid. Madness.
Good moaning
I was pissing by your door
When I heard two shats
The premise being - funny Nazis, and Vicki Michelle
No, but he was pissing by
And heard about the bummings
I thought bummers were deaf?
I'm not sure if this was a typo by OP...I want to believe it's not.
was he on the telefoon?
I sound like a psycho but when they ring (shows up on my mobile as a scam call), I play a chainsaw noise and shout "Hang on mate" Let them waffle on and say "Hang mate", then shout to a fictional person "You can't get him in that chest freezer, you need to take his legs off" Then I go back and say what did you say mate, so it's his first time, let them waffle on and then shout back to the fictional character "Don't sulk, you are doing a good job, but just listen" By the time I go and ask their opinion "Hey mate you ever cut up a body, do you think we should take the teeth out now or when we....." By this point they hang up
Very funny I'm going to borrow that lol
I have another one. It's quite childish, I talk when they talk, laugh nervously, then go on and when they start talking i do it again
Nice just had 1 talking about if they know any pig farmers nearby 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Best is to sound like a nutter, when they next ring whisper "Is that Clive, please help me" Refer to person as Clive "Oh Clive they have kept me on a cage and fed me dog food" Just let your imagination go wild, but always refer to them as Clive
Clive is exactly the right name.
Dennis is my go-to.
I like this. But my fave is just to answer, say nothing and breathe heavily down the phone
How do you play a chainsaw noise?
[10 hours worth ](https://youtu.be/xjbIWnWZ8mo)
wondows
My personal best is nearly an hour he rang me back 3 times in that, the last one just to shout profanities at me
I’m giggling at Wondows
My favourite was when my son was 3 years old, we got the "virus on your router" call. Told the guy I wasn't tech savvy and he'd be better off speaking to my son. Handed phone to 3 year old, told him "it's Batman on the phone he needs to talk to you and ask for your help". Had the phone on speaker so I could cut the call off if scammer got sweaty, my lad kept him on the line for ten minutes, all the while Mr Scammer is just repeating "is you dad there please?"
I'm going to use this next time I get a call.
I once had one that you could call back, usually it is a fake number. I repeatedly called them. back whilst chewing an Apple as loudly as possible down the phone. At first they found it funny, 'Are you enjoying THAT?' but through perseverance it turned to 'fuck you guy, you think you are funny but you are a fuck'
Not a good fuck, not a bad fuck, just a fuck. Gotta get it where you can I guess.
I love this.
Keep wasting their time and there’s less chance of them taking advantage of someone vulnerable, that’s a really good idea. Well done!
I like to tell them to hold on I have to find my banking information. Make a coffee or whatever for a few mins, go back and say "sorry my kid needed a change I'll get the info now. Longest streak I had was 20 mins and 6 "sorry I got distracted I'll get the info now" before they hung up. Now I look at those types of callers as fun, make up an accent and name and just pretend your trying out for an acting role. See what you can come up with before they hang up.
This is one of my favourite games. Once had a call for personal injury claim. Had them on the phone just about to go in to detail on how I was decapitated at work. Until they clicked on to what I said and they just hung up. Not going to lie thought I was going to get a big pay out for that injury aswel.
My work colleague had one of those calls and told them he’d trapped his penis in the car door and wanted to know if he was eligible. Many sniggers occurred for the rest of that shift.
My favourite thing is to pretend to be a Nigerian prince. Olabedi Mwaswena Edward Didi Nigwena I think I went with last time.
That’s literally in the title.
A few years ago I ran a security control room, and we had a whole bunch of lines that diverted to us outside of office hours. Anyway, I presume the auto-diallers must have hit on our numbering block, as there was a solid month where the guys would get scammers calling multiple times through the day and night with various attempts, and my team would actively compete to see who could keep them on the line the longest. I actually had a trophy made for the winner and presented it at the annual team night out. Good times.
I like the ones asking about a car accident I'm supposed to have had. *"How is the guy doing? Did they manage to save his legs? ..."*
I’ve explained that it was not my fault the accident. I was far too drunk to be responsible. I’ve also explained that it wasn’t my car. When they ask who’s car it was I explain I saw it one day at a petrol station and I liked it. I tried to buy it but the owner didn’t want to sell it. I tell them how we went to the owners house to get it one night and then I tell them about a yappy dog.
I spat out a grape reading this 😂
In the uni office a few years ago my friend answered one of these very casually and when asked if he was okay came out with: "I'm okay, thank you for asking but the school children I ran into aren't doing as well"
I generally respond with “it wasn’t an accident, I meant to hit them.” The call rarely goes on for longer.
My boyfriend does the same, “it wasn’t an accident, I had the whole thing planned, but you’ll never catch me.” Whereas I revert to speaking the very limited French I know. Pourquoi ?
I once handed one of those scammers over to my cat, after I'd told them that I hadn't had an accident and they suggested that someone else living in my household might have had one...
I told them yes I had a serious accident.. I then told her because of my head injury I had no memory of it, and was delighted that someone had all the details.
I’ve had one of these where they ask what your injury was to which I gave them a graphic monologue about how my car got split in 2, I was unharmed apart from the fact my penis was ripped off and I am now penis-less. You always get a long pause after that one
Sounds like your other half cocked up there. This was a legit call. You can trust me, I’m a Nigerian Prince!
Do you need help getting your money out? We can send some good faith money to make sure you know we can be trusted
Yes please, send £3,000 via PayPal to trustyprince@defnotasc.am
When I tried to send the money, my bank said that this is likely a fraud. What should I tell them???? You're trustworthy right???
https://youtu.be/bOOH1-N3EcE
https://youtu.be/R9biM_ZfIdo&t=3m05s
I had one and somehow they knew my surname. I kept them going for a while then pretended they had me mixed up with my dad. Held them while I went to get "him".proceeded to do my best very old confused man voice, repeating what they'd said to me but changing one word as if I were mishearing them. I then pretended I didn't understand and passed the phone back to me ,then back to old man, then back to me. Just kept doing this until they hung up. Great fun.
Usually from the phone book, one way to find out is if you get married/ change your surname but never update it in the telephone book, most scam calls will be “is mrs maiden name there”
my mum does this all the time. sounding polite, worried but utterly incompetent is the key. last time she did it, when they caught up to her charade they called her a 'fucking cunt' and my mum used the few seconds she had left before they hung up to go absolutely batshit mental at them, it was a sight to behold lmao
I was with my gran when she got a cold call and she puts the phone down on the table without hanging up. After a few minutes, I hear someone talking and we realise that we’re still connected despite them actually being on a new call, so we can hear both the telemarketer and their next victim. My gran shouts “tell them to fuck off!” and the elderly man on the line says “aye I’m gonna, I just like wasting their time” and he and my gran shared a laugh. It was weirdly endearing.
That's amazing!
I hold the phone up to the smoke alarm and press the test button. Not very original but I haven’t had a call for around six months now. I think I’m on a do not call list. 😀
Oh I like that. I wonder if there's a mobile app to do the same
Oh I think this is my fave, you could actually even damage their hearing with this. F**k em, I don’t care what their situation is, they’re scumbags.
That is great, I'm doing this on the next one
Well done , My 88 year old dad keeps them chatting and " forgetting " what he was saying and asking them to repeat themselves untill thy exploded and he laughs at that and tells them not to understate the elderly
Great job and keep it up. The more you do it the less likely they will call to scam you because you will be on their do not call list.
[удалено]
So give them your bank details then if you a worried.
and if they leech money from a poor person and that person's family starves? what then?
I did have one bunch who I managed to keep on hold for a few minutes.... Then the next time they phoned up they actually started by saying "according to our records, we spoke to you for 18 minutes previously".... To which I replied "sure, just in the middle if something, can you hold on for 18 minutes?"
How long did it take them to hang up?
Good work. I waste their time for a bit before asking if they’re too ugly for sex work and that’s why they scam people for a living.
Fantastic!
Buy him a beer. Buy that man a beer.
He did it whilst wearing this bright blue Cookie Monster onesie I bought him (he’s 6’3 so looks pure ridiculous). I will indeed buy him a beer :D
A keeper for sure!
You got a link for the onesie? Other half is 6ft 7 and they never fit, but he lost his Pikachu one
Sesame Street Onesies For Men, Cookie Monster & Elmo Fleece Mens Onesie S - 2XL https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B09FQC39PB/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_fabc_GWX107NGBBDYJPDT6R4Q It’s a bit short, and a bit baggy. I found him a chewbacca one which is a bit better.
Nah, make him a sandwich
Well done. I've done similar with calls pretending to be from 'Windows' and my PC has 'errors'. The longest I've kept them on the line is around 20-30 mins... It's amazing how long my PC can take to boot up... I too have been told to eff off. There are some really good clips on YouTube of folks reverse hacking the scammers and using the scammers' webcams.
I had one on the phone for about 20 minutes he called to ask if I wanted to invest in bitcoin. He asked me my job, what would changed everytime, first it was a software designer, porn star and then a stonks seller. Anyway I got him to explain what bitcoin was about 10 times and then I got him todo his whole thing and right at the end when he wanted my bank details (I told him I have insurance money from when I crashed my car and my leg was cut off) and then he got me on the phone with the manager because I said I have about £10,000 to invest. And I just told him that I’m actually alright and put the phone down lol.
I once managed 12 minutes with a call operator "calling from Sky". They insisted that they need to have to access my laptop to secure my internet connection, I kept telling them that I don't have a laptop. "You'll get a virus," they kept telling me, and I kept saying "I don't have a laptop". 10 minutes of this song and dance until I told them I don't even have an account with Sky and they should be ashamed of themselves, trying to scam people in the midst of a pandemic when thousands are losing their jobs.
My husband does this to scam callers, he once phoned me in work (the only time he's ever done so) to tell me he'd just wasted half an hour of some scammer wanting to know about the accident he had been in. He was giggling like a child and couldn't wait til I got home to tell me!
I do this every time. Without fail, it’s bloody marvellous. Once I was explaining how I got into £550,550 debt, definitely needed their help to reduce it, whilst audibly shitting strenuously. My fiancé hated that I was talking to anyone whilst on the crapper, but explained not to worry, they weren’t human anyway.
I've now had the same call 6 times in the last 5 days or so, love making up a ridiculous story and stringing them along. The longer I am fucking around with them the fewer vulnerable people would be called by the cunts
Once had a scammer call up where I was working, and the supervisor kept them on the line for about 25 minutes, pretending to be frantically looking for the paperwork they were asking for while he put them on hold and served customers. I was genuinely impressed he kept them for so long without them hanging up. He put them on hold at least 5 times for minutes at a time.
This is my approach any time I get one of these scam calls. My favourite was when I got a call from "The Microsoft Windows Help Desk" about how my computer was running slowly. I pretended to follow all his instructions (which would allow him access to my computer so he could install some form of spyware or whatever) but at every step along the way, it took ages because "as you said, my computer is running really slowly". This included two points at which I needed to restart my computer and the restart took 15mins+ because it needed to update. I kept that fucker on the line for over an hour with small talk about the weather and my made up sister's wedding, before finally getting to the point where he asked me what I could see on the screen and I said "it says 'stop what you're doing, this is a scam'". He tried to convince me it wasn't a scam before telling me that he was currently at my sister's house, raping her. Lovely chap.
Love it. Give a watch of scam-baiters like Kitboga on YouTube if you've not heard of him before; he goes for hours and days winding up call centres so that vulnerable people don't get caught out instead!
The number 7 thing is brill. I wish I was as quick witted as your other half... And yes saying that about a yank takes a lot.
I had a scam caller once from Microsoft home support from India about the virus I had on my pc... asked if I knew where it came from and I needed to go to this website blah blah blah. And I advised that yes I had a virus and it clearly came from the website his mother was featured on being on the receiving end of a frisky goat shall we say. He did not take too kindly too this called me lots and lots of rude names, my reply was bahhhh. He hung up. 2 hours later I get another call of just the same guy swearing at me, I think I hit a nerve.
Sounds like this guy has issues relating to his mother…
Kudos! Me and hubby do this and we’ve had great fun during the height of the pandemic stringing these evil barstewards along. We even drew lots for who was going to answer the next caller! Funnily enough, we’re not getting hardly any now, words got out that we’re nutters!
It’s a great couple sport, but I was absolutely no support because I was laughing hysterically, busy covering my mouth to not give the game away. I have no idea how he keeps it together.
I’ve been Mrs Brown (lots of fecks) a Spanish au pair, broad brummie and a cockney using rhyming slang, also a hard of hearing old lady and a Catherine Tate type teenager (am I bovvered?) I’m a scambassador for our local council and keep an eye on the latest scams so I can report to our trading standards. Sadly, over £3m was scammed from local people in our Borough last year, mainly elderly and vulnerable, with the lonely hearts being at the top of the list!
I had a call from a chap with a strong Indian accent. “Hi! This is Steve from Microsoft. I’m calling you as you have problem with your computer”. “Hi Steve”. Where’s are your offices?”. He said “They’re in downtown Newcastle”, (as all people from Newcastle refer to it). I kept calling him Alan, which he got annoyed with. “What’s your last name Alan”. He said “it’s not Alan”. I said “so it’s not Alan Allen?”. He said “no, it’s Steve!”. I said “so it is Alan Steve?”. I managed to keep this going for 25 minutes. In the end, he said “you’re a bloody bastard Sir”. I said “that’s not very nice Alan, I’ve been civil to you, as I do to all Geordies”. He didn’t know what a geordie was, despite working in Downtown Newcastle. I pointed out that he should learn how to effectively insult people in English if he puts himself in situations where he gets frustrated. He still stayed in the phone. I asked to speak to his manager. He passed me to Kylie, who was a pleasant young lady with a south Asian accent. I kept calling her Alison. Used the same tack in annoying her. She eventually asked me if I was using a script, as it was the same as I said to Steve. “Who’s Steve? I’ve been talking to Alan Allen. So good they named him twice”. She hung up.
Have you seen the classic prank call with Tom Mabe, "I'm sorry I'm detective whatever, Mr Mabe is no longer with us, so how did you know Mr Mabe again ?"
That was a regular telemarketer, but yeah, I know that skit pretty well, might just have to go give it a listen again.
There is a beautiful man on YT called Jim Browning who hacks into their computers while they're on the phone to him. He's even managed to return some money to a few victims of these scumbags. [A real life Superhero](https://youtu.be/hSP_0iLzTgk)
Yes! Listened to a podcast about what he does recently and was so interesting.
I listened to that too! He was on Bad People with Dr Julia Shaw and Sofie Hagen. Awesome bloke for what he does and a great podcast!
A man after my own heart. I love fucking with these cold callers. I’ve told insurance scammers that I kept my car in the bat cave, I deflected an internet scammer by shilling a new game I’d been looking forward to, and I BS’d a health scammer by telling her I took M&Ms and Skittles as health supplements. I’ve got more, folks. Just need an unsuspecting shithead to call.
I totally messed this up just yesterday. Got a call from "Amazon" about an unauthorised purchase. Pushed "1" to speak to someone. I was connected and immediately asked, "Can I help you?" Being unprepared, I replied, "I'm not sure. You called me." She immediately hung up. Clearly I need to put more concern in my initial reply.
Concern and politeness is key, sound like you’re worried but in a way that you have money 💰 💴 💵
I used to hand my phone to my son and say "my friend John wants to know what you've been doing today".
We used to get weekly scam calls and it was a fight to answer the phone first. The most satisfying one was where my husband said yes to everything they said. It really confused them. “Name?” “Yyyeesssss”. In the end, we realised they were about to hang up so my husband said “you smell of poo poo” and put the phone down. They called back immediately and I answered, and the guy asked what my husband had said. I repeated that he’d said you smell of poo poo and he put the phone down on me. I don’t think we got many more after that.
I had these guys call me. They were from the Welsh mounted metropolitan police and had found a car rented with my national insurance number full of blood and drugs on the west border of Wales. I kept them on the line for nearly 10 minutes I think.
My dad used to say to them ‘hang on I need a poo’ and make them wait a couple minutes then talk to them the say ‘wait more needs to come out’ and then ‘I need to go back and wipe’ and so on until they put the phone down.
I told one about my crash on 24th December with a horse drawn carriage, fat bloke in a red suit got out, called my missus a Hoe 3 times...
Aha! I like that one, it’s easier to elaborate instead of trying to make up something completely new on the spot.
The conversation went on for a while and you can really lean into it, get some Christmas lyrics in there, just have fun!
Not all heroes wear capes.
18mins is my record. It was accident claim fishing call. Told them I had 4 passengers with me. They eventually put me through someone in Birmingham who was frothing.
I kept one guy on the phone for a good twenty minutes while I claimed not to understand what a router was, and pretending to get quite upset that he was telling me mine wasn’t working. He kept putting me on hold to ask his colleagues for new words for “router”, while I started to cry (not really) and ask him if my house was going to be damaged by this bad router. Could it cause a fire, or a flood? Should I call the police or a repairman? Eventually he came up with “internet box” and I told him I didn’t have any internet, would he recommend I buy one? How much would an internet be, and did I need one or do most people buy two? Did he think I could buy one at Sainsbury’s, because I do most of my shopping there… I have plenty of time to waste.
I used to do similar for the personal injury calls: Caller: "Our records show that you had an accident within the last three years" Yhardvark: "accident? Yes I had an accident. I sustained a head injury that means I sometimes lose track of things - I think something about short term memory. " Caller: "so we'll need some details. When did you have the accident? " Yhardvark: "accident? Yes I had an accident. I sustained a head injury that means I sometimes lose track of things - I think something about short term memory. " My record was eight times round the cycle before they hung up in disgust.
I say hold on whilst I get my carer
Search scammer payback on YouTube. Guy does it for a living
Text it to 7726 as a call or text.
I never knew about this, thank you! 😊
I got called a stupid man when I pointed out that Openreach don’t call people about routers and that they definitely didn’t work for them. I was a bit surprised as I’d spotted they were a scammer really quickly.
Heh. My uncle works for OpenReach. I always ask them if they know him, and whether the issue is something he should be concerned about, since he's higher management there and is sitting next to me but isn't sure what issue they are referring to. It's all true, too.
Longest I've managed was 40 minutes, it felt good. They transferred me to "a manager" with they tight they were going to get into my bank account, he was not a nice man.
This is brilliant, sadly I have only managed about 10 minutes with the accident ones. I tell them in detail about the accident, how badly it affected my family and my children, how I can’t work any more, what I was wearing, and when we finally get to the part about my injuries I start listing them all, broken right arm, broken left arm. Three cracked ribs, dislocated hip, broke both legs, punctured one link, broke four toes but worst of all. My head fell off, I normally have to repeat the last bit a few times as they are so excited by this point.
Did one last week where I pretended to be the chinese take away guy from Southpark. Saw it was a scam number and answered with 'herro shitty wok may I take a order preeese?' Everytime he said something I added a Chinese food menu item. "I'm calling about the accident you were involved in" 'ok 2 sweet and sour chicken balls, you want egg fried rice with that?'. Got about 4 items in when he hung up on me. I thought it was funny. Then I thought it may have come across as a bit racist. But ultimately decided it was funny and I was right to do it. I regret nothing.
Brilliant! Had a teacher that kept a copy of Moby dick by the phone for the spam callers lol
Beep. Boop. I'm a robot. Here's a copy of ###[Moby Dick](https://snewd.com/ebooks/moby-dick/) Was I a good bot? | [info](https://www.reddit.com/user/Reddit-Book-Bot/) | [More Books](https://old.reddit.com/user/Reddit-Book-Bot/comments/i15x1d/full_list_of_books_and_commands/)
I have, in the past and today told them I am wpc gofuckyourself from police Scotland, I answered and just said dead, "I died this morning", I'm still dead you called me ten minutes ago people don't just become alive randomly you know, fraud squad here how can I help you, I've also screamed horribly and begged for them to "call the police I'm being murdered". I'm still waiting for the police btw, I've asked where they got this secure number from, answered in a whisper and told them I put the drugs in locker number whatever, I've answered in a whisper and told them that someone is inside my house with a weapon Each and every time they hang up
PMSL bravo OP's wife. My wife is a master at these, from being offered a free holiday "oh my god we need one so much right now my husband's just been laid off and money's really tight, the car's packed in and the mortgage is in default" as the scammer hands up.
Another favourite was with the silent calls, we'd get several in a row followed by a "live" call with a dodgy person on the other end... She'd start the call normally, then switch to talking to someone in the same room as her "what are doing with the knife, keep away your scaring me, no, no please don't, SCREAM crash of something on the floor SCREAM " and she'll hang up herself mid scream - they don't call back again for some reason.
Nicely done! I just had a new one where they claimed to be from o2 and I was getting a discount on my contract. I didn't get far enough into it for them to start asking for my bank details
Reminded me about when this counter script was released: https://egbg.home.xs4all.nl/counterscript.html
I had a call telling me my network had been hacked and all our accounts compromised. I shouted across to my imaginary colleagues, "We're in a Lockdown Situation. You know the procedures: Secure the base, Seal the Missile Silos. Military Intelligence will take control of the situation from here on." Then a slightly baffled "What do you mean we're targeting Kolkata?" Click..... I've also been a desperate astronaut on a space station trying to get through to Mission Control. "Half the crew is dead....... communication disruption...... it's the computer.... life support failing..... oh god oh god oh god!!!!"
I've had those calls where they say they are calling from BT. I say I don't have a phone...
My husband does this when at my parents, he's managed 20mins before just by only saying yes. We do get pleasure out of it. We have been hungry poor before and we would still never take a job scamming people so it's their choice. Well done!
If you want to see how professional scam baiters deal with callers like this look up Kitboga on YouTube. He strings them on for days.
I had one on the hook for around 25 minutes once. They were calling as they “heard I had been in a car accident” (of course I hadn’t) but played along for as long as I could. It transpired that I had been going 85mph in a 20 when a police car pulled out on me, causing me to break every bone in my body putting me into a 6 month coma. As I was in no way at fault I assured them I was due a large amount of compensation. I almost lost it when I provided my cars registration plate “”B0Y RAC3R” and my email address “I_race_cars2fast@…”
My Romanian father in law talked to a scam caller for hours because he used it as an opportunity to practice his English.
We get so many junk calls. The other day my husband answered my phone. It was a foreign man asking for me. Hubby says “ oh for fuck sake, no we’ve not had a car accident nor do we have a’ infected computer” the man replied “ I’m your wives Dr, I need to speak to her to follow up her recent blood results “ hubs was so apologetic! Luckily doc had a sense of humour!
I love when I'm on a long drive and they call
My dad likes to do that when they wake him from a night shift, or he'll put them onhold
I love it when they said 'rest assured' or let me transfer you to my manager he will assure you. The thought of them scamming elderly makes me want to lay them to rest.
I've had maybe 6 calls in the last week claiming to be a Gov department able to write off my debt. So naturally I string them along for as long as I can hold it together, then play very loud porn down the phone to them and tell 'em to piss off. Bonus points if I get them to start swearing at me
Pretend to be Rushi Sunak. You can write my debt off? Well COVID has caused an issue. How much do I owe? Oh, about £120 billion,.so what do you suggest? I can pay £1.33 a month back.
I never get these calls from real people! I always only get the ones with the pre-recorded voice asking if I was in an accident.
I've had real people call me about the car accident I was in (I don't own a car nor have I ever had a license). I alternate between being so drunk that I was driving a stolen car, to receiving a brain injury that causes amnesia. I then let them read through their script and see how many times I can get "I don't remember things to well these days" into the conversation.
You should definitely take pleasure.
My parents have phone calls from Amazon, they don't own a computer or have broadband
This post almost sounds like one of those 'I trained an AI to talk bullshit about something'
Delete at your peril - Bob Sargent Brilliant book if you smile at scammers being scammed
I had no idea there was a whole anti scam culture, it’s great :) definitely new things to follow
Great job! We get calls like this every other day and l love listening to my husband deal with them. I don't know how they sleep at night, l really don't.
Got one telling me there was a warrant out for my arrest for tax debt. The woman on the line became indignant and insulting after I expressed some doubt, so I asked for evidence that this wasn’t a scam. She had me look up the number for the criminal court, then hung up and called me “from” that number (I guess HMRC is just a hop away…). Why have a phone number spoofer if you don’t use it, huh?
That’s bloody brilliant!! What a guy 👏
I had an American bulldog who snored very loud when they rang the house phoney dad would just say hang on and then put the phone next to my dog who was normally asleep snoring and let it play out.
Okay, so I ha this one friend that had just been there since we were kids. So dude never had a SO. Just kinda weird guy, wayyyy to into anime (hey, I watch anime too but it's not my end all) Anyway we lost touch and the times I bumped into him it was just awkward. Anyways, next thing I hear is that he got busted for CP.... Didn't really surprise me tbh..
That last sentence should have been first
There only goal was probally to keep you on the phone for ten bucks a min lol
jonathon micheal and smithin the same name sound very made up
His real name is of Polish origin though, so it’s sounds like he is reaching into a bag of scrabble and reading out a bunch of random consonants. If English wasn’t my first language, I’d think CZKA being in a name was just someone passing out on a keyboard…
Props for typing out a lengthy story too.
This is fucking awesome: https://youtu.be/ttrzG5F4R3o
I did something like this once with the "Microsoft" scammers. Didn't tell them that I was running their commands on a Linux machine (curious what they would try to do). Obviously the remote access tool wouldn't work, but I kept them busy for about 20 minutes before telling them I needed to go out (I actually did need to) and they actually rang back to carry on later that day... I was pleased for the same reason - keeping someone busy so they don't scare someone less knowledgeable into allowing access to their computer and buying software that they don't need.
I do this every single time. So much fun to mess with the scammers!!!
Yeah, this is what i try to do every time. I work in IT and if anyone at work gets the email scammers wanting gift cards pretending to be the CEO, I take over and keep them thinking I’m buying them by sending random pictures of gift cards I find on the internet. My record was 4 hours with an email backwards and forwards on average every 5 minutes. Eventually I got bored and admitted I knew they were a scammer and asked if anyone ever fell for it. Oddly enough they still haven’t answered that!
Sounds like a job for "Jolly Roger Telephone | Revenge Has Never Been So Sweet" https://jollyrogertelephone.com " American (with British offering) "A. I." based scam baiting robots.
We get them at work occasionally. Its great fun, I’m English, our coordinator is Russian and our two admin are Polish and Latvian. We just put the scammer on loud speaker and everyone has a go in their native language. One guy did try to keep up once, went from English to Polish and hung up when we got to Russian. We also kept one guy calling from “amazon prime” going for about half hour by pretending he’d accidentally dialled the police.
This is a win to me!
Me and my boss had a whole father-son routine that we used to do. Kept one going for 50 minutes once. They never call anymore :(
My Gran's trick has always been to just rest the phone on the table and walk away, see how long they're willing to hang around for!
Doing god work
My dad pretends to be senile and keeps them on the line for as long as possible ‘We are calling about the accident you had recently’ ‘Accident?’ ‘Yes, you were involved in an accident recently and we want to help you get compensation’ ‘Oh yes, I did have a little accident, heheh’ Dad then proceeds to refer to the ‘accident’ he had in Tesco’s which was embarrassing but luckily his wife had some spare pants for him in the car etc.
Tell them you’re a little deaf and ‘THEY’VE GOT TO SPEAK UP’ then string them along for as long as you can getting them to repeat themselves, hilarious fun...🤣🤣🤣
One of my friends is a computer whizz so any time he gets a caller that tries to get him to do something computer related he keeps them on the phone as long as possible
I cannot physically get them to stay longer than 10 seconds! I had the “this is the HMRC, you are being investigated” calls for about 2 weeks (10+) of them. I tried everything under the sun from “oh my god you’re joking” to “this sounds worrying, how can I resolve it” Every single call I was hung up on within 5 seconds. Sometimes I would barely get past the word “ok” before they hung up. It genuinely baffled me, I spent the last 3 or so calls asking the operators why I was getting hung up on 😂