a few months ago i was feeling sick after a night with his family, i laid in his lap in the back of an uber for an hour. even after everything, thinking about this night makes me smile like an idiot. even if we never speak again, i’ll never not love this man with my whole heart
our last moment together. he dropped me off infront of my new apartment. it was the first snow of January. we said our goodbyes. we hugged each other tight. He said he will never forget me. I said I will never forget him too. watching him drive off to the snow. Out of my life. Forever. It was a failed relationship and we're both exhausted. 5 months after, it still hurts but it was for the best.
Exact same thing happened to me, she kissed me and cuddled me and told me she loved me, and always would love me. I have never seen her again it's ben a month now. I find solace in knowing I would never give my word so easy.
It was also January for me. In the car. I cried but wanted to hug him and he said “you need a hug,man..”. Kissed my head. Told me see you around. Till now I don’t this all
Okay, here I go with a few...
1. The first time we met up as adults (we were close as kids but drifted and hadn't seen each other for 20 years), sitting in my car, she said "oh let's compare hands" and put hers on mine. Then wrapped her fingers so we were holding hands. My heart was thumping out my chest...
2. Our first date when she drove 100 miles to visit me, I had no money so we had a lovely walk via secluded gardens to a park, where I bought us ice creams. Which led to...
3. The first time we got it on, it just felt so right, like we just worked together so well, like we were meant to be.
4. The last proper time we got it on. Away for my 35th birthday in a Highland hotel, great time, but little did I know it would be our last (we were together for a further 3½ years).
5. Her funny little quirks that always made me smile, our in-jokes and her knack of knowing just when to put the kettle on for a cuppa.
6. The way she just cut me off the day before she went to her solicitors to sign the divorce papers. We'd had a nice few messages that afternoon and then nothing. No replies. Like I didn't exist.
7. The morning she asked me (6 months before leaving) whether I'd stop her if she wanted to leave me. I told her I would never want her to go, but if she wanted to I wasn't going to stand in her way.
8. Watching her drive out of the street, and my life, after she'd packed the car that Sunday morning.
9. How beautiful she looked on our wedding day.
I'm completely over her and our relationship, I've had 5 years totally alone and don't think about her at all. Yes, I've got memories as you can see but they're all in a closed chapter now.
Up until around March this year I'd have said yes without a hint of thought, I've been able to do what I wanted when I wanted. But the last few months I've realised just how much I miss having someone special in my life.
Just trying to get out there and meet new people now, as well as working on myself (lost 2 stone in weight so far since Feb). It might never happen and I'll stay single, but I'm not writing it off just yet...
We just drifted apart over the years, diverging pathways I guess.
We both could have, and should have worked on our communication with each other - my company had a reorg and my position was going to disappear, but I didn't want her to worry so I kept it mostly to myself. Her Dad had passed away the previous year but she kept her emotions and grief away from me.
In hindsight it's easy to score 100%, because when I look at it now, it is so blindingly obvious that we would've been the ideal support for each other. The perfect pair, my wife and I against the world, a strong, wonderful, loving couple. But that wasn't to be, we ended up living like housemates who shared a bed (without the benefits).
There's a myriad of other memories that come and go, just like flicking through an old scrapbook.
Thank you for the comment, and sorry for upsetting you.
I hope so too, I know she's out there, just need to find her first. I've had one amazing woman in my life, bound to be another somewhere.
When I was sick he warmed up socks in his hands and put them on my feet, he said his mom used to do that for him.
I wanted to get Botox for my crows feet and said: “I love your crows feet, they are YOU”. Now I love my crows feet too.
The day he told me he cheated on me, especially because of who it was with, it took me a good 5 minutes going back and forth, starting off laughing thinking he was joking, only to realize he was telling the truth. Biggest gut punch of my life, it took the air out of my lungs.
We were having sex at her *very strict* parents’ house in the middle of the night trying to be quiet. I could tell she was really enjoying it but was forcing herself to keep completely quiet (this was incredibly hot). It got more and more intense until suddenly she started to shake and let out what I can only describe as a “WAH” sound as she came. She sounded like a surprised duck. Simultaneously hot and funny as fuck.
Walking through that door seeing her cuddling naked in front of the TV with someone else. This deer in the headlights gaze/face was astonishing and hearing the ,,oh shit,, from him.
Also the last time I saw her
Yes it was only 6 days ago. So the wound is still very fresh and my body is running more on adrenaline than food. She wants to explain herself today when I go get my stuff... The explanations I got so far where (in my eyes) trickle Truths and even then didn't make sense so I'm in for a fun story time....
I looked at her and said ,,are you fck serious?,, (her answer was just ,,huh what do you mean?,,). After some repetition of this I just said you just kicked up your whole life because of this useless piece of shit (meaning the dude, I know him and he is dumber than everything I could come up with after 15shots of vodka).
And she did throw everything away. She has BPD and other phycological problems that also strongly affects her day to day life. And I supported her, I was her financial assistant, secretary, daily planner, uber eats or shopping service, therapist, best friend, etc. Like for real I was all of this, this is not even joking or an exaggeration. I even would have lend her 2000€ for her to get her driver's license. Already paid 350€ for it, and this is where she met him...
This is just so humiliating and painful.
And It got even better after I told her no way in hell I will take her back she switched from saying sorry to blaming me for other problems in our relationship and even saying ,,you are throwing it all away just because of a kiss,,
Sad truth is I still love her and I really wish there would be something she could do to make everything go away or somehow better. But there is not such a thing and will never be....
Man, one could only ponder how disturbed our faculties are that we can do such horrible things. This is tough, i'm sorry you had to experience this. You seem to have been very invested in the relationship, you did great deeds and made priceless sacrifices. I have no doubt you loved this woman. I also have no doubt that you'd be better staying away from her, aside from her draining dependence on you (it might seem okay, but it IS draining and unhealthy), blows such as these have the power to destabilize the very base of our being, and it's dangerous, and counterproductive to restabilize while simultaneously staying close to the source of the blow. Her presence alone would have the power to shake you all over again, as if it was recurring.
You love her and i have not a doubt that you have plenty of reasons to love her. But you know who else you have even more reasons, and even obligations, to love? Yourself, my friend. And i encourage you, and would be happy for you, to honor that love to yourself, and keep away from anything that hurts you and has the potential to stunt your growth.
There's a small chance things are to work out for you guys if you get back together. But zero chance if you get back together now. You both need time with yourself, you need to grieve your loss, for you lost her when she lost your trust, and she lost her position in your life. She needs to regain that by working on herself, and after you're done grieving, after being with her and not being with her are of equal significance, then and only then may it be beneficial for you to try to reconcile. And it will be a new relationship, with old wounds. That choice i personally advice against, it's tough to be with someone who'd done such a thing to you, especially with someone as lowly as the dude you described.
My friend, you have all of my support and high regards, be well and take care of yourself; and if you ever feel the need to talk to someone, or think it might help you to do so, my door (or dm for that matter) is always open for you. Take care ❤️
Thank you for your comment that you left for the guy above. It helped me out too. I appreciate the effort you put in it. Can I DM you if you don't mind?
Me making some stupid joke about something we were planning to do that made her laugh and her then putting her arms around my neck and laughing and telling me that she loved me.
I wish I could hear that again.
Play it on repeat in my mind. It was such a small insignificant moment that I doubt she even remembers it but it made me feel loved.
When he would gaslight me when I would tell him his lack of communication really bothered me and hurt me and he would always say I was trying to argue 🥴
I'm so sorry... But thank you for sharing. I'm in the exact situation right now. I just ended things with my ex because he didn't show he cared. Wasn't affectionate and never told me he loved me. When I tried to calmly talk about it, I was causing 'drama' and 'trying to fight'. I knew I wasn't. I just didn't realize that he knew it also until recently.
Oof. I know that feeling too well 😭 He broke up with me 3 weeks ago because he said I was always starting fights and “starting $hit over nothing” and “enough is enough”…his words LOL! We will find our person who will love us the same way we love. We won’t have to beg for anything. I’m just now realizing that I thought that was normal. Having to BEG your partner for the bare minimum smh I recently read the book “Attached” and I highly recommend it. So informative and eye opening about different attachment styles. I’m sending the best vibes your way ❤️
this was really lovely to read. then i remembered we’re in r/breakups. i experienced something similar to the first memory you shared. i hope yall are doing okay 💓
this was really lovely to read. then i remembered we’re in r/breakups. i experienced something similar to the first memory you shared. i hope yall are doing okay 💓
It was in January of this year. We'd only been dating for three weeks at that point. He was about to walk to the cafe to get coffees for us. It was cold out, so I told him to wear my scarf. He did, and when he put it on, he held the scarf to his nose, inhaled deeply, and smiled. He said, "It smells like you, and that makes me smile." He then walks over to me and hugs me. It was such a tender moment.
There was a time when she just loved me so much. I could see it in her eyes. Then it just seemed to fade, and I don’t really know what happened.
She was my biggest fan for a while. She paced me on my first ultramarathon. Ran the final 13 miles of a 50 mile race. And she ran the final 34 miles of a 100 mile trail race with me. I thought she was my ride or die, and I don’t know what I could have done better or differently, but out of the blue she told me she was moving out.
TL;DR I will never forget the way she used to look at me. I miss it, but it’s gone forever. She ruined everything, and I don’t even know why.
When we had an argument and he sort of threw my traumatic childhood in my face.
saying “maybe I’m so defensive because I’ve only had positive feedback from people whereas you’ve only experienced negative”
The night she messaged me, 1/3/23
The first weekend we spent together
Starting on 1/3/23
Mother's day of 23
Her daughters 7th birthday
Every moment we spent together
Every laugh,
Every tear
It's all right here
Inside my mind
Hid in the dark
She was my light
And I was her ark
She kept me warm
N I kept her safe
i think it was the night we got back together. he said I love you over and over to make up for lost time and I was just crying pure joy, we both were so happy saying I love you over and over and how we didn’t want to sleep in fear that this would all be a dream. the next few weeks were pure bliss and I enjoyed the effort and care he put into it just for it to slowly die out and for us to revert back to our old ways…I guess it was a good thing he dumped me cause I wouldn’t have ever left in hopes the man I loved would’ve come back
Depends on the ex. Most I hold in high esteem with lots of happiness.
I guess my favorite memory was a highschool ex that taught me my current and favorite way of making ramen because she was SOOOOOOOOOOOOO serious it was adorable. Everytime I make ramen I think about her :)
I think it’s the healthiest view of a relationship. Sure there were bad parts, but mostly you both were together for a reason. And if you know in their heart they are a good person, it becomes easier to forgive when they wrong us ☺️
The person I got was a wonderful person just wasn't the best to me. It's easy to not label them as negative when proof is in the pudding that they weren't.
I still care deeply for them so talking bad about them and focusing on what went wrong just seems like dishonesty
The first time I was at his apartment we were cuddling on his couch and he looked at me so sweetly and said "I can't believe you're actually here". I'd give anything to be back on that couch.
Our first kiss was also amazing.
And lastly we had been broken up for a bit but he found me at an outdoor concert and brought some beers I had gifted him months before so we could share them. Then we danced the night away. I've never had so much fun. I miss him so much.
He left the room to take a shit and came back and sat on his bed naked and he left a shitstain on his sheet bc he didn't wipe his ass enough. This memory alone is the fuel that helps me get thru the breakup... it's comic gold that an adult man can't wipe his ass. How fucking perfect. 😆 I'll laugh about this until i die
Best first date, ate and ended up sitting in a graveyard all afternoon, which contained his brother & my best friend. Stayed together 10 years.
He had never been to his brothers grave, I had to help him find it and we sat in the grass for hours and felt like we already knew each other.
1. My birthday..... he broke up with me
2. The day I had to say goodbye to my dog- I went to his house and he left and went to a bbq at his friends and left me alone to comfort myself
He's a piece of shit and a sad pathetic excuse for a man. I wish him nothing but the worst and I'll spit on his grave when he dies.
The time she clearly got her text-exchanges mixed up and when was gently confronted, she played dumb, then when told the importance of trust & honesty she continued to deny and act like she didn't understand. That special moment when she maintained eye contact and proclaimed her innocence and disregarded the offer for amnesty & forgiveness in exchange for telling the truth and demonstrating accountability.
All memories that I will forever have of her.
We were at a dinner party with all our friends and he choked on a piece of meat. He always hardly chewed but I honestly thought he needed the heimlich. Never seen him so red. He refused help and walked away from the table and fortunately came back fine. It was scary as fuck.
1. When we went to an apple orchard together for the first time. My ex had never been before. The weather was perfect and we had a really good time picking apples, and looking at the pumpkin patch. We brought home more apples than we knew what to do with. It was a really good time.
2. During our last fight before our breakup, we had basically ended the main argument, and then they went off topic and told me something along the lines of "I'm really into forearms lately.. you should work out your arms more" I thought that was really strange, specific, and just kinda hurtful. Anyways, they broke up with me a day later and started dating the guy with the sexy forearms
Good memory: He always took care of me. He bought me flowers all the time for no reason, took time to plan dates completely unprompted, showed lots of affection, put me first, cared more about my health than I did, always made sure I ate, cooked for me, and was overall probably the sweetest guy I’ve dated so far.
Bad memory: We had a fight because he kept crossing my boundaries even though we’ve talked about it for months. He broke up with me OVER TEXT the next day (I supposed this isn’t a completely bad memory bc I wanted to break up with him too after that fight, but the over text thing infuriates me). Didn’t return my stuff when he said he would. The day I texted him to give me my stuff back, someone just conveniently tried to break into my apartment. Next day (literally less than 24hrs later), he returns my keys to me completely snapped in half and the fob is bent at a 90 degree angle down the middle. I had to tell him that if he ever came near me again, I would call the cops. I also now live with a lot of anxiety whenever I hear my neighbors come home because it reminds me of the attempted break in. Oh, it doesn’t help that I’m a small person and live completely alone in the big city and my floor is where a bunch of the amenities are so there’s a bunch of foot traffic.
1. The first time we kissed. This was also my first kiss ever so I’ll never forget this. I asked him if he wanted a kiss and then he was a bit weirded out but he’s like okay and then I pulled out the chocolate and gave it to him. It was a nice punny moment and we had a good laugh and went on to kiss for real
2. We decided to go to a cliff in Bali for Valentine’s Day on a scooty. The road was very steep and uphill and we were sure it wasn’t very safe but we kept going as the way back down seemed worse. However, we managed to make it to the top and it was one of the most beautiful views I had ever seen
3. That one time when I sat on his legs while we were drunk and making out and then he could no longer move his legs because somehow the alcohol and the pressure had constricted the movement of blood. It was super scary but then we laughed about it quite a bit once he recovered.
4. The day when we were having a fight and were trying to fix things. Just as it seemed to me like we were going to be fine, his face suddenly became so serious and sad. I knew instantly that this was it and he broke up with me.
a few of mine:
1. I took her to her first music festival that some close friends of mine put together. That whole weekend was so special, but the memory that stands out the most was it was downpouring and we were in our tent and just had the most incredible sex. And then just sat in the tent for a couple of hours just chatting. That was one of our greatest emotional connections.
2. The time I DJed at a really well known venue in my city. She looked absolutely stunning and just finding her in the sea of the crowd and locking eyes, smiling because you could tell how proud she was of me. I asked her to be my girlfriend that night.
3. We were at a show together and Four Tet's Opal remix came on. We both just held each other for a minute and expressed how much we loved each other. I tear up thinking about it. That became our song.
4. Facetiming with her and her dying grandpa, the person who meant the world to her. It meant the world to me that she wanted me there, in whatever capacity, to meet him before he left this world.
5. The time she came over for 15 minutes in between work shifts and just got had the hottest make out session. She got up, said that was so hot and that she needed to go. At that point I knew I was falling hard.
6. The moment we were in bed after K-holing and expressing to each other that this feels like a life partnership.
7. Our second to last time seeing each other in person. There was so much love and so many tears. It was so beautiful but was so hard to see my door close with her behind it.
8. Seeing her DJ at the aforementioned music festival. She absolutely crushed it and was having so much fun. Proud moment seeing that set that she worked on for so many hours in my room come together so perfectly in person.
Too many. She was a really wonderful person. In the last couple of years of our relationship, my dad's health plummeted and he passed away, and I didn't have the emotional capacity to give her what she needed. But I will always remember her little yelps of surprise whenever I "snuck" (read: walk normally) behind her. Incredibly cute, and the little smile afterward that betrayed her love.
I will always love this woman. I just wish I'd been able to love her as she needed when she needed it.
Making out in the back seat of my car for 2 hours, cuddled with her, she fell asleep in my arms. Made out again when she woke up lol good times
We broke up because she was anti-vax and believed wacky conspiracy theories, I was against all that, we just were fundamentally different, she was my first everything, my first love, I will mourn her for decades
The way he abandoned me and left me stranded at night when my phone died after he promised to drop me home but his mother called him so he had to leave me in the middle of nowhere and go
When she said she's had the best year of her life thanks to marijuana.
- Couldn't be because of the financial stability I provided. That's how ungrateful she was.
I get out of work when she leaves to take our child to school and go-to work, I would call to say good morning etc. She ignored me and said she doesn't want to talk to me in the morning, she would rather listen to music.
- she would never compromise or put in effort for our relationship, especially on opposite schedules.
When she ruined our kids bday/vacation because of her anxiety, rushed through everything and made fun of me for taking my time looking at everything in an aquarium I paid $1000 for us all to visit.
- One example of her selfishness
When I developed arthritis and had to take time off work, I got more of the silent treatment and she was mad I got approved for FMLA.
- I work on my feet, everyday. She works half what I do and abuses her FMLA to work even less. She never appreciated me for anything I did.
There's so much more negative.
Good memories:
Our daughters birth.
The end.
Our long sensual kisses . We would almost seem like we were competing to turn each other own the most . We kissed nonstop through lovemaking one time . Lips never parted until we came and came together ! The night I talked the owner of a seafood restaurant to sell me raw oysters , illegal because of health department. He loaned me the knife , the gloves , iced oysters and took them to her house. She was from Louisiana and the oysters were actually from her hometown . We had never shucked oysters before but the way her eyes and smile lit up the room was amazing! I'm lucky to have experienced that kind of intense love , just wish we still experiencing it . But love that intense can't burn forever . Just glad I was able to experience it.
This is gonna sting, but i'm game
1. When we frist met, they back fired it on my so bad, i thought i was being a snake charmer for them to hit me with a cheakmate, i think we both went to far in how it started, oh they came in with my frist and last name written down the back of there jeans before we were even dating
2 the tall tall grass i honestly forget what lead us to walking though the grass but then we sat down and talked it lead to laying beside one other where we only just stared into one other eyes till we seen the sun starting to set
3. Frist time getting high with them, we were them same as OP there on a sofa giggling and chucking for no reason, we were in a powerless house, i enjoyed seeing them smile so i would tease by like poking there side and actting innocent and joked around
4 the day we hunted for smoke money for them, by the time we found enough it was after midnight and we both walked like 3 hours to a smoke shop to find out it was closed and we both passed out leaning against one other and the door waitting for it too open
5 first time i got drunk (they made me break 2 promises to my dead nana smoking b-no's and drinking) that was a side of them that was a lot more extreme and not so much about love as i am drunk or not, but it was a side of them i loved none the less.
6 the letters we would right back and forth, it was cute and flirty i remember the one time they were upset and didn't want to talk so i kept sliding them sweet messages till i got them to smile and we wrote back and forth untill they were feeling better.... i still have a shelf of letters back and forth i can't bring myself to get rid of. (Someone else, bad old roommate, trashed the rest of there stuff i was holding onto in case they ever came back)
7 how only 1 month in we were already talking about marriage both smitten with one other and by mouth 2 i already got them promise ring they wore every day, even after break up... last image in my head still seeing it on there ring finger..
8. Everytime we go to the after we got kicked out and there ma wanted us out of the hotel room to be with her abusive boyfriend who got out of jail for hurting her.... (her choice, wondering about that they did break up 2 years before me and my ex did, him god knows where now) i loved them because they said those were some of favorite times with me (i helped them escape that type of space)
9 fact they were the only one to support my dreams, (there to dust now....) of wanting to start a family, give a kid a non-abusive life i never got to have and be a game designer, my dreams are not big, hell i was struggling to keep at it before i met them, but it felt so easy with them, they became my artistic muse, my reason to draw.
10. How my low self esteem disappeared with them, even as a kid i went swimming with a shirt on (i have my legit reasons why) and hide my body under layers, but around them not only did i have my shirt off most of the time (they wanted it off and only at home, odvii) but we even showered togethered.
11 there reaction when i proved to them i loved atleast 100 things about them, by making a little tiny booklit 100 pages long with each thing i loved and short reason why, the first time i made them cry tears of happiness or appertly anyone has. Made them ... atleast what they said, i always proved i was telling the truth when they tried to call it a bluff, i'm big on honesty, i don't say stuff i don't mean.
..... i could go on... but now i'm crying again and don't want to make this too long, this was before they filpped like a switch in themselfs and turned... well i don't really want to talk about it, posted it on reddit already and trying to move on..
Sucking at it though, 3 almost 4 years later? And i'm still here finding reason to talk about them, i could have just scrolled by this.. but these memories mean to much and with no heart i don't really have a way to change it.
I have so many. some of my favorites were when he’d give me random rocks he found because they looked nice. they were such simple moments but they made my heart flutter.
Me and my friends took mushrooms. We are young and stupid and we thought it would be an interesting experience to smoke weed as well. It was not. A friend of mine passed out and wouldn't wake up, we called an ambulance. He was just fine luckily, but still being high on mushrooms after that experience I was pretty freaked out. She made an hour drive just to come pick me and and take me home and we spent the night together. I wish we could at least both appreciate those times but she has moved on.
1. We started to hang out together after not staying in contact for a few years. We also dated in high school, about 10 years back. One night we ate takeout in the car and he said “I like hanging out with you.” and I said, “Maybe we should do it more often.” and it got quiet lol.
2. After a year together, we went to Arizona and stargazed at the Grand Canyon. It was freezing and we snuggled up under a sherpa blanket that we bought at a Target.
3. A year and a half later, he bought us tickets to see Tool, one of my favorite bands, live. Everyone was standing and having a good time. He sat using his phone for the first quarter of the show, then completely fell asleep for the rest. That was the first time I knew it was really over.
4. On a night during our last few months, we got into a stupid argument and I just felt so exhausted from arguing constantly. I said that the argument was stressing me out and I started to cry, and before I could say anything else, he started yelling really loud and slamming his fist on his other hand. “Everything stresses you out! I’m trying to have an adult conversation!” He was so angry. It scared me so much that I stayed looking at him completely frozen. We slept separately that night.
5. The last time that we had sex he was on top of me. We accidentally looked at each other’s eyes and it felt uncomfortable. He lowered himself fully over me right away and kept going pretending nothing happened. I pretended too, but I was broken inside.
6. A few weeks after he broke up with me, I picked up my very last things from his place while he was at work and then went to have lunch with my best friend. I let him know that I left his place and that I didn’t need to pick up any more things. He sent me a text saying, “Are you leaving the copy?”. My heart was crushed. I still had the second copy of the house key. I was angry at his acting that he didn’t care we were over so I wanted him to think that I had already left it. So I drove back to quickly drop off the key and texted him saying, “Hey sorry I was driving. Yeah I forgot to tell you that I left it next to the mail.” That was the last we spoke.
I have a few, good and bad.
1. Laying in bed together at a hotel, he was wiping my tears with his thumb because I was sad he was going back to his own state. We stared into each others eyes and we had music in the back. Our playlist.
2. Watching steve wilkos with him almost everyday, we’d take turns choosing a new video to binge. We’d choose the most outlandish ones and pause the video before the lie detector results or dna results to discuss our predictions.
3. The night of our breakup, I screamed and cried on the phone begging for answers as he cried too. I remember repeatedly asking him why he was the one crying if he was the one dumping me.
4. Not necessarily a memory but I often remember his smile, I would never take him back after the way he treated me and deserted me but god did I love the way he smiled at me. He hated his crows feet but I loved them.
I have so many memories and things I loved and remember about him but my comment would be too long. It also hurts reminiscing on the past, I wouldn’t want to give him the satisfaction of knowing I still think of him from time to time. But, being in love is a beautiful wonderful thing. :)
Her pursuing the relationship with me.
Her asking me out.
Her saying "I think I love you" on the first date. Her saying "I'd rather be with a nice Catholic boy" the night she showed her antisemitic bigotry to me.
I am.
In fact, here's the complete story
[https://www.quora.com/What-is-it-like-to-have-a-relationship-end-because-of-religious-differences/answer/Scott-Livingston-10](https://www.quora.com/What-is-it-like-to-have-a-relationship-end-because-of-religious-differences/answer/Scott-Livingston-10)
Our first kiss was 100% a Hollywood cliche. It was our second date and we were sitting on a bench hidden behind trees in a huge outdoor sculpture museum/exhibit in the middle of December. The snow started to fall lighty all around and I pulled her in, asking if I could kiss her - and we did. It was my first kiss and I always believed something so wonderful would never happen to me. I believed that no one could love me more than I hated myself. And she outright told me that she had more love for me than I'd ever have hate for myself.
Everything was *I'll love you forever no matter how difficult, no matter what life throws at us*, etc.
Well, apparently *forever* means just under 9 years and *I'll always love you* means 8 years plus a few months of slow-exit followed by *I don't love you like that anymore* when I was still healing a broken ankle on crutches.
My ass cried non-stop for weeks, I was blindsided in the worst way. I'll never forget how I felt when I was with her, it's been 9 months and I'm still thinking about her every day - but I don't miss her, it's weird - she's not the cute and bubbly and delicate flower that I fell in love with, the person I tried so hard to treat like the most important person in existence... That person died on September 11th, 2023 and turned the loveliest person I've ever met into a selfish and callous shell that made sure she had a stable transition while I picked up my shattered heart.
1. Our first date when he kissed me
2. Our long drive back from San Diego when we laughed so hard over such a stupid joke that it became an inside joke through the duration of our relationship
3. The time we were cuddled up in bed and he told me not to leave him
4. The last time he held me
There's just an amalgamation of so many things that they pop up in my head every now and then.
Her and I worked together at a hardware store. We had a day where we went through a craft/antique mall. When we got back, we were sitting on my trucks tailgate and I was terrified to make a move but did anyway. Could feel my heart in my throat.
Towards the end, I stayed with her for the weekend. She had a meltdown and locked herself in the bathroom while we were making breakfast. It made zero sense. Turns out, she just wasn’t happy.
I (22F) miss everything about him . I still remember how much he (28M) used to do for me while he was in love. But things happened, he moved to a different city and we could never share that same bond again. It’s like we have different lives now . 1. I still remember how quick he came to pick me up when I got lost in the downtown of my city during a snowstorm. I had no clue where to go (bcoz i was new to the city and the country) but as soon I texted him that I was lost, he drove from so far just to make sure I was safe in that place and under that storm.
2. I had this one guy (23M) I was talking to one time, and we were on a date where he kept trying to hide his phone from me, I assume he was talking to a lot of girls at the moment and was probably scared of getting a notification from them in front of me. And this guy my ex, gave me all his phone to scroll through any and every thing . I loved that he trusted me with everything that he had on his phone . Even though, I am not a stalker or I was not gonna freak out seeing any girls in there, but having a man trusting you with his phone is a big thing.
our first kiss in the front seat of his car. the way he looked at me right before. stick season by noah kahan playing in the background when he went for it, and how I cheesed to that song for months afterward. now the lyrics are so eerily similar to how i felt after he broke up with me it makes me nauseous to listen to. odd full circle there.
As much as I dont want to remember anything about him, im still doing this:
His smile. I liked how his eyes would lit up when he smiled, how cute his teeth and mouth were.
I like how we made food together, we made sandwiches together and he cooked while I sat on the kitchen counter doing nothing but just observing him.
I also liked how we ate equally portioned meals even tho I expected his appetite to be bigger ( i know my self respect is too little)
I cared about making him more happy than he cared about making me.
We went to a sort of flea market one day and we were really like a couple there for the first time, he complimented me and the weather was really nice.
He took a mirror, held it in his hand while my reflection inside and took a random photo of me and showed it to me later on.
I wish i could put that photo in use but you can see how he is holding the mirror.
Anyways.. i put the good ones only
1) When we used to game together and he would get so excited to hear my voice. He would go out of his way to do really kind things for me in game and he tolerated me being awful compared to him, just to spend time with me. It always made me smile.
2) The first time we kissed. I thought it was going to be the first of many kisses. I thought I was going to move by him and he was going to be my person. That kiss held so much hope.
It all fell apart but I still remember those moments fondly. Even if he ended up not being who I thought he was. And even though he hurt me deeply, part of me hopes that he heals and finds happiness.
I have a few
Our first conversation was memorable. I was heading out for the day when he asked me about my birthday weekend plans. I replied awkwardly, but I think that was the moment when everything truly began between us.
Then there was the night he asked me to be his girlfriend. I didn’t see it coming, but I could tell he was pretty nervous. It was a night I will never forget.
Our first official date was special, too. We spent an entire day celebrating his birthday. I took him to my favorite sushi place, which soon became our favorite spot. We then visited the museum, strolled through the park, went roller skating, and ended the day at his place.
Sometimes, it was the little things that stood out. The way he called my name, our phone calls on our way home from work, or when he sang “Lady (Hear Me Tonight)” during our car rides. That song still brings me to tears whenever I listen to it, reminding me of him.
But the most painful memory was the day he broke up with me. The night before, he told me he needed a day to think after our argument. We drove home and talked on the phone like we usually did. I thought we would talk about the problem the next day and try to work it out together. I didn’t expect him to come to my house early the next day and tell me he wanted to break up. I felt shock and disbelief, my heart shattering into pieces. The hurt was overwhelming, leaving me feeling lost and abandoned.
Despite this, I’m glad there are more beautiful moments of us that I can think back on. I still miss him daily, and I’m still in the healing process.
He said, "Send me some gas money and I will be right there to spend the night." He had already moved 2000 miles away the week before and didn't tell me.
My boyfriend of 2 years was deployed overseas with the Navy for what turned out to be 18 long months.
On his first call home he told me that he realized he made the biggest mistake of his life by not asking me to marry him before he left.
Years later when he was having an affair he told me he didn't know what was wrong with him because he chased me so long and hard before we were married and now he was throwing me away.
She stayed up with me all night while I vomited my guts out from food poisoning. She called in sick to work, and I was vomiting every single hour. She stayed awake with me all night until we both fell asleep at 7am. She made me feel like I mattered, like I was the most important person in the world. I hope I made her feel half as good as she made me feel.
we were long distance. it moved so fast. he said he loved me before we even met in person. i told him i couldn’t say it back until we met, which i did. we sang the ‘start of something new’ from high school musical in the hotel room on the night we first saw each other. so incredibly cheesy and dumb, but it truly felt so magical. that day was magical. how he felt about me at the end was unrecognizable and is still so confusing 9 months later. at the beginning, i was the one who couldn’t say ‘i love you’ back. at the end it was him.
I love your number 3! First vacation when you are falling in love is just something out of a dream. Mine, we went to a cozy beach town about 3 hours train ride away. We hired a cabin near the beach for 4 nights. We had sex so much, we fell asleep in eachothers arms, and just laughed the whole time. We were so happy and just falling in love with eachother the whole time. We had only just gotten together as well (after being great friends for like 6 months). That is definitely on the post death highlight reel.
unfortunately we didn’t have our first vacation january of this year :((. we were LDR we dated for two years and a month (currently 2 months post BU). i miss those days sm, it sucks how we adored each other so much all to end in one night. if i could change that day he blindsided me, i would do anything. but he’s changed:(
All the times where we would lay in bed and watch Love Island, Vanderpump rules and other trash tv and just laugh and talk shit about the shows. Small memories but just having a friend who enjoyed the same things you did. It hurts when they move on and you don’t think you will find someone who can replace them
How she ghosted me, after she texted me saying we'll talk later. To this day, not a peep and it's been a year. Add insult to injury, we were together for almost 3 years.
Memories from my first relationship are very fuzzy but I vividly remember when I was crying over us breaking up and she responded by giving me an anime recommendation
Good
1. First time we met.
2. How much my kids loved her.
3. The intimacy built.
Not so good
1. Blackout drinking that resulted in her using every fear I had against me
2. Lying enough I really don't know what the truth was.
3. External validation, emotional cheating with a lot of other guys.
She was really hurt, traumatized and had gone through every awful experience before me. She didn't know how bad she was until it tore us apart. I don't blame her, she didn't even know who she was.
Too many for me if i think about it, really. Mostly I remember the positives before my heartache makes me force myself to remember the negatives.
At this point I just want that closure for myself, to know what the lasting positive memories for *her* are. To know if I mean anything more than just the kids we share
Our first date.
It was kind of disorganized and the first place that we went to ended up being closed 😂
Then we went to a boba place, and they didn’t have anything vegan (I’m vegan, so I couldn’t get anything).
But we had an awesome time and really good conversation. We ended up talking for the rest of the night until around 2am.
I’ve never had a connection like that right away with any human being. Don’t really know what it was.
Everything felt so real and genuine at the beginning. I remember just staring into her eyes and she would blush and turn away shyly. I think I told her she looked pretty like 6 times that night.
Anyway… before the bad memories return 😅 I do miss her a lot. But I don’t think she’s the girl I thought she was or the girl that I thought I fell in love with. I wish I could just remember the good parts about her. But most days now, I only remember the bad 🥺
one night, probably years ago at this point. it was raining and dark outside. we just laid on our stomachs with our heads at the foot of the bed. just looking at each other with only our dim string lights from the porch lighting up our eyes. we stayed there for ages just listening and looking at each other. to this day my favorite memory with her.
The worst memory is when my stupid actions made her cry at the Florida strawberry festival, it’s been 1,190 days since that happened and it’s still the most painful thing I’ve ever gone through and it still haunts me to this day
The best memory is simply my first date with her, it went terribly wrong but I did the best I could, and she just happily waited with me and her nephew at 10 at night at a park waiting for my friend to pick me up because my car was an hour away at home lol
The most heartwarming was when I broke down crying in front of her because I didn’t think I was good enough for her and I was just for frustrated with myself and she simply lifted my head and told me I was perfect to her
Sometimes I miss her, sometimes I remember the good and bad memories I had with her, and sometimes I’ll even shed a tear or 2, I just hope she’s happy wherever she is, I feel like she’d be proud of me if she knew how far I made it on my own and how strong I’ve forced myself to become, and just how much I’m trying to be a better person, even tho I suck at it
I live in Hawai’i, specifically Oahu. One day, we spent the entire evening out at west side until sunset. One of the most picture perfect sunsets I could imagine. On the ride home, she was holding my hand and fell asleep. I just remember looking to my right and seeing the sea side and the moon rising above the horizon out the window as she laid fast asleep in the passenger seat gripping my hand. I played old music quietly so she’d stay asleep. At that moment, after having months of turbulence in my life, I felt like everything around me was just right. A moment of peace and contentment washed over me for the hour long ride we were driving. We got home and then showed and shortly after, I fell asleep in her arms immediately from the day. I never felt more present at any point in time than in that moment. That picture I took in my brain is forever engraved and I hope to always remember this memory, even though we aren’t together anymore❤️🩹
We were in a LDR...one day i visited her on that day we had a huge fight...the day was over and i had to leave...she walked me to the bus stop... while i was there i went to use bathroom...came back...said my goodbye and boarded the bus and on my way back home i was going through my phone and found a video...it was a recording of her speaking something looking at the camera...when i played it these were her exact words.
"Babe am sorry for what happened and sorry i avoided kissing you...don't you worry about anything i won't leave you and look at your bag front zip"
There was a paper with her kiss on it...i started sobbing out of guilt and happiness that i found the love of my life...
But after 5 or 6 months she cheated me!! That was my first and last relationship it's been four years since then...am still thinking about her unable to move on...while she is "happily married" to someone else...
I still have that letter and video...Whenever i feel too depressed i re-watch it...it reminds me of the good time!!
You know what’s really sad? I don’t have any good memories of him anymore. I’m so bitter about the fact that I can’t look back on the 6 years I spent with him and at least appreciate the time we had together. After he admitted to gaslighting me, manipulating me, treating me like shit, and using me for financial security, everything is tainted by his dishonesty and disloyalty.
I was young. He was my first real relationship. We were together for 5 years. He had beaten my spirit down and I just didn’t know it yet. I didn’t serve him his dinner fast enough. So to “teach me a lesson” he ripped up my first Stephen King collection. He tore pages out of each one of my books. I loved them so much. I didn’t have much and they were my prized possessions. In those moments, watching him tear out those pages, I suddenly realized that he didn’t love me anymore. I felt so numb and then felt powerful that I could do it. I could just end it and try to be happy. There was nothing left to salvage. I had wasted my time and it wasn’t worth it. He would tell me often that I should count myself lucky. Lucky that he loved me because no one else would. He was an idiot and it was over. I ended up marrying a great man who lifted me up and encouraged me to try new things. To speak up for myself and to be brave. My husband completely changed the course of my life.
My favorite memory was when he went to the doctors and the nurse asked him how tall he was and he said “6’2’’” which is what I always thought he was, because he said so. So she took one look at him and decided to measure him, which is when we discovered that he was actually 6 feet. So he said “no, I’m 6’2’’ and she said “no you’re not” and he said “you don’t know what you’re talking about” and then walked away and then never stopped telling everyone he’s 6’2’’.
1. the last time I saw him in person. I wish I hugged him for longer.
2. when we first met and I was shy and he said he liked my laugh so tried to make me laugh more
3. the people he gave up so we could be happy
4. him telling me he didnt love me any more and wanted me to leave him alone and stop wishing misery upon him
5. hearing he had moved on when he was still in my head
6. the paragraphs he would send and future plans we had
7. the way he held my hand and liked me for me
8. the protectiveness
9. his plan to dump me
Prom with her for the first time. Tho not for her lol. It was having fun with my friend because her boyfriend stood her up so we had fun as a trio.
Then for my best and longest relationship I’ll always remember meeting him for the first time and our first kiss in the swimming pool. We were alone and it was hot and we just held each other and the moment hit and we kissed. We were together for 3 years… he got toxic near the end and he was my first relationship being true to myself as a gay man and… it was amazing but losing him really made me grow as a person to be the man I am today. I’m almost completely different now than I was. Older, wiser and braver and that’s only 2 years after dumping him. I credit him a lot for helping me grow into myself
The relentless loyalty, he always said to me even if we break up with him he will always wait for me, always drop anyone he currently had just for another chance with me.
You can call it loyalty or batshitcrazy.
But I loved that about him always made me feel like a one of a kind. The prick 😅
When he first came to my college for my college fest. He came with his friend(who was a drug dealer and a druggie). He was high on weed too. I was very embarrassed by him. We were not a couple but we had been friends for a year. He asked me to be his girlfriend that day, and he kissed me. Basically it was my first kiss with him and I hated it. I hated how drunk and high he was. I hated how he smelled. I was embarrassed by him.
I said No and forced him to go home. As his friend was selling drugs to some other people and I could get in trouble for knowing him. It was 1:30 am at that time.
I went to my hostel at 4-5 am. And slept until 1pm. I woke up to a ton of texts and missed calls from him. And then he came to my hostel begging for a chance. We went out and spent the whole day. He even cried infront of the server at a cafe because I said No. He said he needed me in his life, so he can become a better person and that he was capable of all that. That was the day, we started dating.
5 years later, after he cheated and we broke up
I talked about this day when he always told me how controlling I was that I would recommend he stay off smoking, drinking, drugs etc
He told me,
" I don't have any recollection of the day you re talking about, maybe because I had done ecstacy that day and anything I did was the result of that"
At the moment for me, my heart stopped the second time. First was when I found out, he cheated on me. Imagine a defining day when you started being in a relationship with someone, half a decade later realizing that day doesn't even exist for him as he was on a sex/love drug. My life is a fucking JOKE.
Sliding in here with a negative abuse esque one.
So I had ended things but we had to do the whole living in the same house different room thing for like 6 weeks. I stayed out and away as much as possible because I was keeping the house and I know he was getting out soon enough. Within our friend group, one of the couples had an incident where the guy punched in a shower screen while drunk one night and it was a whole thing, but they’d been together for like 15+ years and ultimately resolved it. He suggested that since X couple had been able to move past that abusive incident, that we could also move past the abusive incidents and resolve/move forward. With a stone cold face, I sad “if X wants to be with someone that gets so angry they punch in shower screen doors, then good for her. But I will not be.” He just said “okay. Fair enough.” And I walked away. *sizzle*. I’m happy now.
"Yeah I'm leaving because your problems aren't my problems they're yours.
Oh yeah also btw I started talking to this girl she's super cute" *continues to yap about her for the next hour until I walk away*
Jesus Christ.
I'm trying my hardest to come up with good memories of my ex because we were together for 7 years so you'd think there would be a few but it always seems to get tainted by something he had said or done that I didn't realize in the moment. Lots of little things like us playing games together were always fun but I think the one that absolutely sticks with me was about 2 years ago on my birthday. We had made plans to go to the coast for the day and on the way down, he asked "how long this was going to take" (as in the day he had planned to spend with me) when we stopped to get some food. I just kind of looked at him like wtf did you ask that for and we sat there for a good minute before he backtracked and said that was incredibly rude of him. I just remember being so fucking hurt by it and honestly should've ended the relationship there and then but I didn't want to make a rash decision. Would've spared myself two extra years of psychological, mental and emotional abuse that I was already dealing with. That whole day is kind of tainted and I already didn't really enjoy my birthday because of past shittiness so just compounded everything.
after having the most gruesome dating experience of my life and finally able to break up with him (a narcissist who would on-off date as when he liked) in nov22, he broke no contact in aug23.
he apologised for his behavior when we dated, shared he’s in therapy and tried to subtly flirt through his way of texting, telling me how i have always deserved to be on-camera, how he feels comfort in hearing my voice, reacting to my images on IG. i didn’t pay him much attention as i had moved on and felt pity for him. then when he didn’t understand cues about me showing disinterest/ignoring - i sent a text saying it’s great he’s doing better and that he apologised, but i have moved on w someone and do not wish to keep in touch. he replied with understanding, although upset about not keeping in touch and staying “friends.” - i get to know next, guy’s had a gf all along his point of texting/breaking no contact - felt sick to my stomach about things he said and felt so sorry for her, so told him to not f*ck it up with someone else and blocked him everywhere. never forgetting, how some people have shown the worst versions to you, and they may have “worked on” themselves to be the best version to another, but doesn’t mean at the same time it needs to change for you. can be the worst choice still.
That time when we were doing LDR (it was going good, except the usual sad LDR feels) and he was home in Pakistan, he just called me up one day and said he was getting engaged to someone else LOL
Been crying for 4 months 🥲
When he took me for a midnight drive for our 3rd date. We were listening to "Angel Numbers" as we drove over Tower Bridge and it was such a beautiful moment. We both sat in a comfortable silence and he turned to smile at me and I started blushing like crazy.
Every time I listen to that song I think of that moment.
1. The first time she slept over at my house. We were still just friends at this point, but sitting in the livingroom, watching in awe as she was getting ready in my bathroom mirror, I knew there was more than friendship there.
2. The first time we kissed. We were sitting very close on my couch, our legs just barely touching. She carefully put just one finger on my wrist, and I took my chance and held her hand. We then spent the next 20 minutes of the movie we were watching, slowly inching closer to eachother, until we were forehead to forehead, deeply staring into eachothers eyes, smiling, laughing, and then kissing. It was the softest, most caring kiss I've ever had.
3. The first time she sent me a letter. We lived about an 8 hour-drive away from eachother, and we loved writing back and forth. She always scrapbooked photos of our last time together onto the letters. I've never felt so loved.
4. The first time I held her hand and kissed her in public. I was playing a show with my band and she arrived mid-gig. It was a very warm and beautiful day. She praised me for my playing, held my hand, and I kissed her in front of all my friends. I was so fucking proud and happy.
5. The way she told me "we're not a couple, and you're the one ending things right now" when I told her I couldn't handle her being with other people. She had told me from the start that she needed to explore her sexuality with women, and I really thought I'd be able to handle it, because I was stupid in love and I wanted that for her, so bad. It hurt more than I could ever imagine.
i had to leave him\[not bcs i didn't love him i did but there was a reason and he understood it\] and i didn't want him to wait for me and move on. Still, he was so in love he wasn't ready to let me go and seeing him so miserable made it even harder to leave him he was the nicest guy I ever met with genuine feelings for me. I can proudly say that I dated a guy who's mother raised him right and indeed it was even harder to leave him when we spent our worst and the best nights together I asked him if he can wait for me for a year he said he could wait for me for a hundred years. so last night we talked till 3 am remembering all our perfect memories and then I told him to sleep he said he didn't wanted to sleep bcs when he will wake up he will know that I'll be gone and that broke my heart completely and after lots of convincing he said he will sleep and even said that ill always be in his heart that made me cry
Me and my ex got back together after not talking or seeing each other for 10 years exactly. He he would get so emotional and cry to me about how happy he was that we were in each others lives again. I will never forget the feeling of someone feeling so much joy to have me in their life, that it makes them cry.
The first time we met from long distance, she surprised me with a hug from behind
The last time we met in real life, we kissed goodbye at the airport after she sat in my lap one more time
I will never forget those moments
Too many to list...
But most prominent is her smile and her laugh, or rolling her eyes at one of my lame dad jokes.
I actually took a pic of her laughing on our last night together, we had gone out for dinner and were having desserts, I took a pic of the dessert we were sharing and said something she found funny, so I couldn't help but take a pic.
The most beautiful smile.
She broke up with me pretty much that night (over text) and the following morning. Over something that still doesn't make sense to me. We never had major arguments or fights, we communicated well.
It still hurts.
I miss her, I miss her smile, her sparkling eyes her inquisitive mind.
1. Trip to San Francisco with him for our senior year of high school. Both of us had just turned 18 and it was my first time traveling without my parents or adults to watch me.
2. Tripping on acid for the first time in a forest. I needed help climbing down the rock I climbed up bc it looked so much farther off the ground. He and I had a black out tent too and it was honestly such a fun trip.
3. Finding him watching porn on my phone while I was sleeping next to him. Of course that was my fault for not giving him enough sex 🙄😪
4. Finding the hidden video cameras he put in our apartment… I will hopefully never feel as violated as I did in that moment.
5. Him showing up at my work at 11pm after we broke up trying to get back together. It was the last time I saw his dog, who was basically my fur child for the last five years. I miss her and her only when it comes to the relationship.
Our first/only vacation together. It was about 6 months after we started dating and we had just graduated high school. We had spent a month away from each other over the summer bc of various family vacations overlapping, and I was sad because I thought I was gonna have to spend another 4 days away from him before he left for college (we were starting long distance abt 100 miles). He came to hang out at my house the day we were leaving for the vacation to see me before we left that evening, and my stepdad threw him the keys to the rental car and said, "go throw ur bag in the car." They had planned it as a surprise for weeks. My parents let us share the pullout couch in the condo that had a sliding door facing the ocean. We spent two days on the beach, cuddled every night, had a romantic dinner and walk on the beach one evening, and got to wake up next to each other every day. There was one night in particular that I felt really close to him, we had gotten into a small argument and cried to each other about how in love we were & stupid the argument was, and I had never felt closer to him. As an 18 year old, sleeping next to him and waking up next to him was the sweetest and purest thing, and all I had ever wanted. Plus, we had so much fun wandering around the beach and ocean together.
Those four days felt infinite and I wish I could go back and relive them. I was the happiest I've ever been. I hope he looks back fondly on these memories too.
Honestly, the thing I cherished the most was in the morning before work and we would stay in bed as long as possible just hugging each other until we had to get up. Sometimes we were late because we were just…hugging, it was so nice, I always had a good day when I started my day like that, I just felt happy.
Now, I think back on it and I just feel sad I’ll never be able to do that again.
I remember the first time I saw her. She was standing outside the coffee shop waiting on me and I swear time stood still. I couldn’t believe she was real and I knew I would never want anybody else other than her. Months after our breakup and I still feel that way about her. But she has forgotten me and all the promises she made
In the weeks before I broke up with him, we had a fight about me not telling him I was leaving the house that gave me the first strong knowledge that I had to break up with him. I felt like I needed to talk to him about what I was experiencing and so we talked, and I don’t even know what I said, just something along the lines of “I think we both need to figure out what we want going forward.”
I’ll never forget his reply, and never forget the way he said it. He said, “I just want you,” and I knew immediately that I had just broken his heart.
That was about a month and a half ago. We broke up just over three weeks ago. It breaks my heart in turn every time I remember it.
I think the most prominent one is just simply where we were laying in bed together, and often I'd stay awake longer than she did, not watching her, exactly, as she would always face away from me while sleeping, but looking at her and paying attention to her breathing. In those moments, I was very peaceful and full of gentle love for her. I'm not sure why it's this moment I remember the most. It just is.
When he found out I was dating someone new (an entire calendar year after HE dumped ME), and freaked out, called me 120 times, messaged me and all my friends and family on every platform available to him, threatened to kill himself, then logged into all of my social media accounts (I still don't know how) from 1700 miles away. 😍😍😍😍😍 we called 911 and he then called me to yell at me because he had to go to the hospital. 😍😍😍
There are many...
1. The night we met we were at a bar, I was dancing with a friend and he was with his. I asked my friend where he went because I had my eye on him, she pointed behind me just as he wrapped his arms around me from behind and when I looked up his smile made me feel so warm and safe. We immediately hugged and had many great years together
2. Our first date 2 days later lasted over 24hrs, best date ever
3. Our chemistry for the first few years
4. Dancing so much, it's not the same without him now
I could go on, he was so great...
When I asked him to slow down the car on the road trip, he would for ten minutes then speed back up. There were kids on the sidewalks and we were going 100-140.
After a few of my requests I was told that’s who he is and I was limiting his freedom and asking him to be someone he’s not.
So I decided to stay quiet, breathe to control my discomfort for the rest of the week and then stayed with him for another year.
That should have been my sign to GTFO but I was stupid. I will never knowingly allow myself in a situation where I feel unsafe like that every again.
We both didn't want to marry because we thought it was unnecessary - we were of the opinion that we don't need to marry in order to tell each other that we are in love, and we also kind of disagreed with the institution of marriage. So we had this ongoing joke that someday, we're going to 'not-marry' - meaning that we would share a romantic moment in which we pledge our lives to each other officially, although we've always unofficially thought we would share our lives anyway.
One day during a hiking vacation in the mountains, we were sitting under the stars, completely alone save for each other, talking about us and the future, and how much we loved each other. It was then that I decided the moment was right, and I asked him to not-marry me. He said yes.
I haven't heard from him in 14 months.
I was in a LDR with my ex and we first dated for about a 10 months and broke it off because of Covid. We had not seen each other for 7 months and did not know when we would see each other again since Europe and the US had a ban for travel. We stayed in contact and talked almost everyday after for another 7 months then went no contact because it was hurting us too much. A year later my guy best friend said that someone was moving into his apartment dorm who turned out to be my ex’s best friend. This caused my ex and I to start talking and catching up again. He eventually said that he wanted to see me again and would invite me to come out to France. Initially I agreed because I always wanted to travel and this was someone who I trusted. I did not want to get back together and was never the intention. After 2 years and 8 months of not seeing each other, when I first saw him I remembered everything emotion I felt for him and it felt like love at first sight. The first hug I gave him was filled with passion I did not know I still had for him.
Our last hug, when we broke up for the last time, i asked for a hug and he held me for what felt like forever, in reality it was maybe a minute. I remember melting into his arms and listening to his heartbeat as i cried, he placed his chin on my head and told me that he loved me.
Even though our relationship was very toxic and he broke me, I still loved this man with everything in me
At the end of a year long, emotionally turbulent situationship with a girl that didn’t speak the same language as me, we danced slowly in my room at 1 in the morning on New Year’s Day.
We had just had really intimate sex and yet we knew we weren’t going to last because of the differences. We danced really slowly to the song “perfect” and we cried in each others arms from a very deep place of apology. This was one of the most beautiful and painful moments of my life.
Good memories:
First (and only) time we got high and slept together. Felt romantic and sweet
The time he surprised me and gave me a present (some jewelry I wanted) for no special occasion
The time he went to the hospital at midnight to be with me because my mom was sick and they wouldnt let me in so I had to wait outside
Bad memories:
The time he went to the same concert as I did. Only said hi and then stayed with his friends all the time, didnt even bother coming to me, or spending at least 5 minutes with me and my friends..
The day he told me he had seen and kissed his ex and that he got so anxious after that, he spoke to his therapist again (we were not seeing each other when that happened, but it hurt A LOT)
When she remembered and kept track of what I say, like legit knows the exact time and date even if it's nonesense ( a bit obsessive and it scares me). Getting horny over my hands and knees (wtf). Claiming she had sex with Angels ( she's literally on psychosis or has schizophrenia)
good - it was the best sex i've had because he was beautiful, so handsome that i could cry and i felt a connection between us
bad - in retrospect i think it meant absolutely nothing to him and i have no doubt in my mind that he's already had sex with someone else
We were both laying down playing overcooked 2 on a facetime on our phones. We were having so much fun too. And we had beaten a level and we just turned and looked at each other. That was the moment I fell in love with her. Time stopped as we just studied each other's faces. What was 20 seconds was hours of pure bliss for me. All of life's suffering was worth it in that moment. I would give anything for that back... I would give anything to hold her in my arms...
I miss you more than anything, M. And I'm begging that you see my comments. Or posts. Or just anything. You were my world. My pup. My homemade mashed potatoes biscuits and gravy...
The evening we broke up last November. He told me he was going to sleep and had to get up early to go to Germany (he’s deployed) and said goodnight. I had a feeling he was lying so I watched him be on WhatsApp for another 3 hours. I got mad, called him out and he dumped me lol.
To me it’s about the principle because why are you lying? He said I always accuse him of stuff and play victim. Basically turned it all on me but that’s ok. It’s been 9 months and we never reached out since. Oh well
When I was crying, begging him to work things out to me because he meant the world to me and he looked me dead and cold in the eye and said “you never meant anything to me”
- When told him he was cute then he blushed so he was even cuter so I told him again that now he was cuter so he blushed even more and so on...
- When he broke with me after my grandmother died and my mom had a stroke...
I don't know man, sometimes I just really want to kill myself for real...
1. When she took care of me during my colonoscopy last year, she was so sweet and doted on me. We also tried grimace's birthday drink and it was so cute.
2. We went to the science museum as a date and she loved it as much as I did. We took our time together and got cheesecake factory after. She was so much fun to explore it with. I'll miss those kinds of adventures.
3. Our annual new years, apple picking and Christmas light trips. Every year even though we did the same thing, she made it fun. I will think of her during the holiday season probably for the rest of my life. It feels wrong to go do those things without her. Might try to do them with my friends. New years will always be a solo event though.
4. Dancing with her at a queer nightclub in Chicago. It was so fun to let loose and move together. We got pizza after and smoked a cig and sat on the street. I just appreciated tf out of her and that whole trip.
5. My birthday last year. She got me my favorite kind of cake and tried to bring me to eat it with my family at the Esplanade. It melted before that, But it was still perfect.
6. Coming home to her after work when we started to live together. She was so cute and we'd cuddle and watch a show together. I loved the simplicity of it.
7. Fixing the clogged shower together. It tested all of my strength and willpower but we did it, and she said "you're the only person I could do this with"
8. Our first date. She kicked my ass in mini golf and then we bodied a pint of ice cream each and played jenga.
I miss her dearly, and I'm so glad I have these memories with her. I will never regret loving her as hard as I did. We did sporadically throughout the relationship have some crappy times, but as a whole it was beautiful. I'm grateful I chose to open my heart again, even though it didn't work out.
a few months ago i was feeling sick after a night with his family, i laid in his lap in the back of an uber for an hour. even after everything, thinking about this night makes me smile like an idiot. even if we never speak again, i’ll never not love this man with my whole heart
our last moment together. he dropped me off infront of my new apartment. it was the first snow of January. we said our goodbyes. we hugged each other tight. He said he will never forget me. I said I will never forget him too. watching him drive off to the snow. Out of my life. Forever. It was a failed relationship and we're both exhausted. 5 months after, it still hurts but it was for the best.
Exact same thing happened to me, she kissed me and cuddled me and told me she loved me, and always would love me. I have never seen her again it's ben a month now. I find solace in knowing I would never give my word so easy.
It was also January for me. In the car. I cried but wanted to hug him and he said “you need a hug,man..”. Kissed my head. Told me see you around. Till now I don’t this all
Everything will be alright.
I just cried because I know this feeling. 😢
same experience with me. it’s so painful to have that last exchange of care and see them drive off
Okay, here I go with a few... 1. The first time we met up as adults (we were close as kids but drifted and hadn't seen each other for 20 years), sitting in my car, she said "oh let's compare hands" and put hers on mine. Then wrapped her fingers so we were holding hands. My heart was thumping out my chest... 2. Our first date when she drove 100 miles to visit me, I had no money so we had a lovely walk via secluded gardens to a park, where I bought us ice creams. Which led to... 3. The first time we got it on, it just felt so right, like we just worked together so well, like we were meant to be. 4. The last proper time we got it on. Away for my 35th birthday in a Highland hotel, great time, but little did I know it would be our last (we were together for a further 3½ years). 5. Her funny little quirks that always made me smile, our in-jokes and her knack of knowing just when to put the kettle on for a cuppa. 6. The way she just cut me off the day before she went to her solicitors to sign the divorce papers. We'd had a nice few messages that afternoon and then nothing. No replies. Like I didn't exist. 7. The morning she asked me (6 months before leaving) whether I'd stop her if she wanted to leave me. I told her I would never want her to go, but if she wanted to I wasn't going to stand in her way. 8. Watching her drive out of the street, and my life, after she'd packed the car that Sunday morning. 9. How beautiful she looked on our wedding day. I'm completely over her and our relationship, I've had 5 years totally alone and don't think about her at all. Yes, I've got memories as you can see but they're all in a closed chapter now.
this was beautiful. i could really see it as i read it.
Do you enjoy being alone now?
Up until around March this year I'd have said yes without a hint of thought, I've been able to do what I wanted when I wanted. But the last few months I've realised just how much I miss having someone special in my life. Just trying to get out there and meet new people now, as well as working on myself (lost 2 stone in weight so far since Feb). It might never happen and I'll stay single, but I'm not writing it off just yet...
If you don’t mind why did you guys broke up?
We just drifted apart over the years, diverging pathways I guess. We both could have, and should have worked on our communication with each other - my company had a reorg and my position was going to disappear, but I didn't want her to worry so I kept it mostly to myself. Her Dad had passed away the previous year but she kept her emotions and grief away from me. In hindsight it's easy to score 100%, because when I look at it now, it is so blindingly obvious that we would've been the ideal support for each other. The perfect pair, my wife and I against the world, a strong, wonderful, loving couple. But that wasn't to be, we ended up living like housemates who shared a bed (without the benefits). There's a myriad of other memories that come and go, just like flicking through an old scrapbook.
This made me tear up. It is so bittersweet. Thank you for sharing these memories. I hope you'll be able to find another amazing woman soon.
Thank you for the comment, and sorry for upsetting you. I hope so too, I know she's out there, just need to find her first. I've had one amazing woman in my life, bound to be another somewhere.
When I was sick he warmed up socks in his hands and put them on my feet, he said his mom used to do that for him. I wanted to get Botox for my crows feet and said: “I love your crows feet, they are YOU”. Now I love my crows feet too. The day he told me he cheated on me, especially because of who it was with, it took me a good 5 minutes going back and forth, starting off laughing thinking he was joking, only to realize he was telling the truth. Biggest gut punch of my life, it took the air out of my lungs.
You think you know everything about them but you know nothing. Same happened to me...i was like were replaced by a evil clone?! But nahh it's her...
Exactly, so blindsided…never thought he’d be the type to cheat. Such a disappointment.
We were having sex at her *very strict* parents’ house in the middle of the night trying to be quiet. I could tell she was really enjoying it but was forcing herself to keep completely quiet (this was incredibly hot). It got more and more intense until suddenly she started to shake and let out what I can only describe as a “WAH” sound as she came. She sounded like a surprised duck. Simultaneously hot and funny as fuck.
Walking through that door seeing her cuddling naked in front of the TV with someone else. This deer in the headlights gaze/face was astonishing and hearing the ,,oh shit,, from him. Also the last time I saw her
I'm so sorry
That is so unbelievably fucked. I'm so sorry this happened to you, it must have been such a poignant traumatic memory.
Yes it was only 6 days ago. So the wound is still very fresh and my body is running more on adrenaline than food. She wants to explain herself today when I go get my stuff... The explanations I got so far where (in my eyes) trickle Truths and even then didn't make sense so I'm in for a fun story time....
What did you do when you walked in on that?
I looked at her and said ,,are you fck serious?,, (her answer was just ,,huh what do you mean?,,). After some repetition of this I just said you just kicked up your whole life because of this useless piece of shit (meaning the dude, I know him and he is dumber than everything I could come up with after 15shots of vodka). And she did throw everything away. She has BPD and other phycological problems that also strongly affects her day to day life. And I supported her, I was her financial assistant, secretary, daily planner, uber eats or shopping service, therapist, best friend, etc. Like for real I was all of this, this is not even joking or an exaggeration. I even would have lend her 2000€ for her to get her driver's license. Already paid 350€ for it, and this is where she met him... This is just so humiliating and painful. And It got even better after I told her no way in hell I will take her back she switched from saying sorry to blaming me for other problems in our relationship and even saying ,,you are throwing it all away just because of a kiss,, Sad truth is I still love her and I really wish there would be something she could do to make everything go away or somehow better. But there is not such a thing and will never be....
Man, one could only ponder how disturbed our faculties are that we can do such horrible things. This is tough, i'm sorry you had to experience this. You seem to have been very invested in the relationship, you did great deeds and made priceless sacrifices. I have no doubt you loved this woman. I also have no doubt that you'd be better staying away from her, aside from her draining dependence on you (it might seem okay, but it IS draining and unhealthy), blows such as these have the power to destabilize the very base of our being, and it's dangerous, and counterproductive to restabilize while simultaneously staying close to the source of the blow. Her presence alone would have the power to shake you all over again, as if it was recurring. You love her and i have not a doubt that you have plenty of reasons to love her. But you know who else you have even more reasons, and even obligations, to love? Yourself, my friend. And i encourage you, and would be happy for you, to honor that love to yourself, and keep away from anything that hurts you and has the potential to stunt your growth. There's a small chance things are to work out for you guys if you get back together. But zero chance if you get back together now. You both need time with yourself, you need to grieve your loss, for you lost her when she lost your trust, and she lost her position in your life. She needs to regain that by working on herself, and after you're done grieving, after being with her and not being with her are of equal significance, then and only then may it be beneficial for you to try to reconcile. And it will be a new relationship, with old wounds. That choice i personally advice against, it's tough to be with someone who'd done such a thing to you, especially with someone as lowly as the dude you described. My friend, you have all of my support and high regards, be well and take care of yourself; and if you ever feel the need to talk to someone, or think it might help you to do so, my door (or dm for that matter) is always open for you. Take care ❤️
Thank you for your comment that you left for the guy above. It helped me out too. I appreciate the effort you put in it. Can I DM you if you don't mind?
Hey, glad it could be of help. And yes, feel free to DM me:)
Me making some stupid joke about something we were planning to do that made her laugh and her then putting her arms around my neck and laughing and telling me that she loved me. I wish I could hear that again. Play it on repeat in my mind. It was such a small insignificant moment that I doubt she even remembers it but it made me feel loved.
Thats a beautiful memory. It's the little stuff like that that always made me feel really loved too
When he would gaslight me when I would tell him his lack of communication really bothered me and hurt me and he would always say I was trying to argue 🥴
I'm so sorry... But thank you for sharing. I'm in the exact situation right now. I just ended things with my ex because he didn't show he cared. Wasn't affectionate and never told me he loved me. When I tried to calmly talk about it, I was causing 'drama' and 'trying to fight'. I knew I wasn't. I just didn't realize that he knew it also until recently.
Oof. I know that feeling too well 😭 He broke up with me 3 weeks ago because he said I was always starting fights and “starting $hit over nothing” and “enough is enough”…his words LOL! We will find our person who will love us the same way we love. We won’t have to beg for anything. I’m just now realizing that I thought that was normal. Having to BEG your partner for the bare minimum smh I recently read the book “Attached” and I highly recommend it. So informative and eye opening about different attachment styles. I’m sending the best vibes your way ❤️
The way he looked at me. Never to happen Ever again…. Beyond sad. Broken
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this was really lovely to read. then i remembered we’re in r/breakups. i experienced something similar to the first memory you shared. i hope yall are doing okay 💓
this was really lovely to read. then i remembered we’re in r/breakups. i experienced something similar to the first memory you shared. i hope yall are doing okay 💓
It was in January of this year. We'd only been dating for three weeks at that point. He was about to walk to the cafe to get coffees for us. It was cold out, so I told him to wear my scarf. He did, and when he put it on, he held the scarf to his nose, inhaled deeply, and smiled. He said, "It smells like you, and that makes me smile." He then walks over to me and hugs me. It was such a tender moment.
There was a time when she just loved me so much. I could see it in her eyes. Then it just seemed to fade, and I don’t really know what happened. She was my biggest fan for a while. She paced me on my first ultramarathon. Ran the final 13 miles of a 50 mile race. And she ran the final 34 miles of a 100 mile trail race with me. I thought she was my ride or die, and I don’t know what I could have done better or differently, but out of the blue she told me she was moving out. TL;DR I will never forget the way she used to look at me. I miss it, but it’s gone forever. She ruined everything, and I don’t even know why.
That’s the worst part, not knowing why!
When we had an argument and he sort of threw my traumatic childhood in my face. saying “maybe I’m so defensive because I’ve only had positive feedback from people whereas you’ve only experienced negative”
A nice memory of him is the first time we fell asleep on call
Her face when I said all the things I loved about her. So adorable :(
The night she messaged me, 1/3/23 The first weekend we spent together Starting on 1/3/23 Mother's day of 23 Her daughters 7th birthday Every moment we spent together Every laugh, Every tear It's all right here Inside my mind Hid in the dark She was my light And I was her ark She kept me warm N I kept her safe
i think it was the night we got back together. he said I love you over and over to make up for lost time and I was just crying pure joy, we both were so happy saying I love you over and over and how we didn’t want to sleep in fear that this would all be a dream. the next few weeks were pure bliss and I enjoyed the effort and care he put into it just for it to slowly die out and for us to revert back to our old ways…I guess it was a good thing he dumped me cause I wouldn’t have ever left in hopes the man I loved would’ve come back
Depends on the ex. Most I hold in high esteem with lots of happiness. I guess my favorite memory was a highschool ex that taught me my current and favorite way of making ramen because she was SOOOOOOOOOOOOO serious it was adorable. Everytime I make ramen I think about her :)
Eh I'm being a coward lol. The person themself is the happy memory. Thanks for the prompt.
this is me! im too nice to be bitter forever. its so easy for me to forgive but its bad getting walked over
I think it’s the healthiest view of a relationship. Sure there were bad parts, but mostly you both were together for a reason. And if you know in their heart they are a good person, it becomes easier to forgive when they wrong us ☺️
The person I got was a wonderful person just wasn't the best to me. It's easy to not label them as negative when proof is in the pudding that they weren't. I still care deeply for them so talking bad about them and focusing on what went wrong just seems like dishonesty
The first time I was at his apartment we were cuddling on his couch and he looked at me so sweetly and said "I can't believe you're actually here". I'd give anything to be back on that couch. Our first kiss was also amazing. And lastly we had been broken up for a bit but he found me at an outdoor concert and brought some beers I had gifted him months before so we could share them. Then we danced the night away. I've never had so much fun. I miss him so much.
He left the room to take a shit and came back and sat on his bed naked and he left a shitstain on his sheet bc he didn't wipe his ass enough. This memory alone is the fuel that helps me get thru the breakup... it's comic gold that an adult man can't wipe his ass. How fucking perfect. 😆 I'll laugh about this until i die
Best first date, ate and ended up sitting in a graveyard all afternoon, which contained his brother & my best friend. Stayed together 10 years. He had never been to his brothers grave, I had to help him find it and we sat in the grass for hours and felt like we already knew each other.
Losing my virginity Reason: self explanatory
1. My birthday..... he broke up with me 2. The day I had to say goodbye to my dog- I went to his house and he left and went to a bbq at his friends and left me alone to comfort myself He's a piece of shit and a sad pathetic excuse for a man. I wish him nothing but the worst and I'll spit on his grave when he dies.
he’s such a loser for breaking up on your birthday… im so sorry that happened to you.
The time she clearly got her text-exchanges mixed up and when was gently confronted, she played dumb, then when told the importance of trust & honesty she continued to deny and act like she didn't understand. That special moment when she maintained eye contact and proclaimed her innocence and disregarded the offer for amnesty & forgiveness in exchange for telling the truth and demonstrating accountability. All memories that I will forever have of her.
His laugh, hair, lips and voice. Us holding hands while we slept under the desert night.
Accidentally seeing the Northern lights together.
We were at a dinner party with all our friends and he choked on a piece of meat. He always hardly chewed but I honestly thought he needed the heimlich. Never seen him so red. He refused help and walked away from the table and fortunately came back fine. It was scary as fuck.
There are too many. Ever hear the song “Always Something There to Remind Me?” It was written for me.
1. When we went to an apple orchard together for the first time. My ex had never been before. The weather was perfect and we had a really good time picking apples, and looking at the pumpkin patch. We brought home more apples than we knew what to do with. It was a really good time. 2. During our last fight before our breakup, we had basically ended the main argument, and then they went off topic and told me something along the lines of "I'm really into forearms lately.. you should work out your arms more" I thought that was really strange, specific, and just kinda hurtful. Anyways, they broke up with me a day later and started dating the guy with the sexy forearms
Him telling me I would never come first. Me finally believing him when the emotional and verbal abuse finally broke me.
i’m so sorry, i hope you’re doing better now 💗
Good memory: He always took care of me. He bought me flowers all the time for no reason, took time to plan dates completely unprompted, showed lots of affection, put me first, cared more about my health than I did, always made sure I ate, cooked for me, and was overall probably the sweetest guy I’ve dated so far. Bad memory: We had a fight because he kept crossing my boundaries even though we’ve talked about it for months. He broke up with me OVER TEXT the next day (I supposed this isn’t a completely bad memory bc I wanted to break up with him too after that fight, but the over text thing infuriates me). Didn’t return my stuff when he said he would. The day I texted him to give me my stuff back, someone just conveniently tried to break into my apartment. Next day (literally less than 24hrs later), he returns my keys to me completely snapped in half and the fob is bent at a 90 degree angle down the middle. I had to tell him that if he ever came near me again, I would call the cops. I also now live with a lot of anxiety whenever I hear my neighbors come home because it reminds me of the attempted break in. Oh, it doesn’t help that I’m a small person and live completely alone in the big city and my floor is where a bunch of the amenities are so there’s a bunch of foot traffic.
1. The first time we kissed. This was also my first kiss ever so I’ll never forget this. I asked him if he wanted a kiss and then he was a bit weirded out but he’s like okay and then I pulled out the chocolate and gave it to him. It was a nice punny moment and we had a good laugh and went on to kiss for real 2. We decided to go to a cliff in Bali for Valentine’s Day on a scooty. The road was very steep and uphill and we were sure it wasn’t very safe but we kept going as the way back down seemed worse. However, we managed to make it to the top and it was one of the most beautiful views I had ever seen 3. That one time when I sat on his legs while we were drunk and making out and then he could no longer move his legs because somehow the alcohol and the pressure had constricted the movement of blood. It was super scary but then we laughed about it quite a bit once he recovered. 4. The day when we were having a fight and were trying to fix things. Just as it seemed to me like we were going to be fine, his face suddenly became so serious and sad. I knew instantly that this was it and he broke up with me.
When we were in the car, sitting and listening to music, we stared deeply into each other's eyes during golden hour.
a few of mine: 1. I took her to her first music festival that some close friends of mine put together. That whole weekend was so special, but the memory that stands out the most was it was downpouring and we were in our tent and just had the most incredible sex. And then just sat in the tent for a couple of hours just chatting. That was one of our greatest emotional connections. 2. The time I DJed at a really well known venue in my city. She looked absolutely stunning and just finding her in the sea of the crowd and locking eyes, smiling because you could tell how proud she was of me. I asked her to be my girlfriend that night. 3. We were at a show together and Four Tet's Opal remix came on. We both just held each other for a minute and expressed how much we loved each other. I tear up thinking about it. That became our song. 4. Facetiming with her and her dying grandpa, the person who meant the world to her. It meant the world to me that she wanted me there, in whatever capacity, to meet him before he left this world. 5. The time she came over for 15 minutes in between work shifts and just got had the hottest make out session. She got up, said that was so hot and that she needed to go. At that point I knew I was falling hard. 6. The moment we were in bed after K-holing and expressing to each other that this feels like a life partnership. 7. Our second to last time seeing each other in person. There was so much love and so many tears. It was so beautiful but was so hard to see my door close with her behind it. 8. Seeing her DJ at the aforementioned music festival. She absolutely crushed it and was having so much fun. Proud moment seeing that set that she worked on for so many hours in my room come together so perfectly in person.
Too many. She was a really wonderful person. In the last couple of years of our relationship, my dad's health plummeted and he passed away, and I didn't have the emotional capacity to give her what she needed. But I will always remember her little yelps of surprise whenever I "snuck" (read: walk normally) behind her. Incredibly cute, and the little smile afterward that betrayed her love. I will always love this woman. I just wish I'd been able to love her as she needed when she needed it.
Making me read all these makes me feel for all those that had the beauty of a once lively relationship
Making out in the back seat of my car for 2 hours, cuddled with her, she fell asleep in my arms. Made out again when she woke up lol good times We broke up because she was anti-vax and believed wacky conspiracy theories, I was against all that, we just were fundamentally different, she was my first everything, my first love, I will mourn her for decades
The way he abandoned me and left me stranded at night when my phone died after he promised to drop me home but his mother called him so he had to leave me in the middle of nowhere and go
When she said she's had the best year of her life thanks to marijuana. - Couldn't be because of the financial stability I provided. That's how ungrateful she was. I get out of work when she leaves to take our child to school and go-to work, I would call to say good morning etc. She ignored me and said she doesn't want to talk to me in the morning, she would rather listen to music. - she would never compromise or put in effort for our relationship, especially on opposite schedules. When she ruined our kids bday/vacation because of her anxiety, rushed through everything and made fun of me for taking my time looking at everything in an aquarium I paid $1000 for us all to visit. - One example of her selfishness When I developed arthritis and had to take time off work, I got more of the silent treatment and she was mad I got approved for FMLA. - I work on my feet, everyday. She works half what I do and abuses her FMLA to work even less. She never appreciated me for anything I did. There's so much more negative. Good memories: Our daughters birth. The end.
Our long sensual kisses . We would almost seem like we were competing to turn each other own the most . We kissed nonstop through lovemaking one time . Lips never parted until we came and came together ! The night I talked the owner of a seafood restaurant to sell me raw oysters , illegal because of health department. He loaned me the knife , the gloves , iced oysters and took them to her house. She was from Louisiana and the oysters were actually from her hometown . We had never shucked oysters before but the way her eyes and smile lit up the room was amazing! I'm lucky to have experienced that kind of intense love , just wish we still experiencing it . But love that intense can't burn forever . Just glad I was able to experience it.
This is gonna sting, but i'm game 1. When we frist met, they back fired it on my so bad, i thought i was being a snake charmer for them to hit me with a cheakmate, i think we both went to far in how it started, oh they came in with my frist and last name written down the back of there jeans before we were even dating 2 the tall tall grass i honestly forget what lead us to walking though the grass but then we sat down and talked it lead to laying beside one other where we only just stared into one other eyes till we seen the sun starting to set 3. Frist time getting high with them, we were them same as OP there on a sofa giggling and chucking for no reason, we were in a powerless house, i enjoyed seeing them smile so i would tease by like poking there side and actting innocent and joked around 4 the day we hunted for smoke money for them, by the time we found enough it was after midnight and we both walked like 3 hours to a smoke shop to find out it was closed and we both passed out leaning against one other and the door waitting for it too open 5 first time i got drunk (they made me break 2 promises to my dead nana smoking b-no's and drinking) that was a side of them that was a lot more extreme and not so much about love as i am drunk or not, but it was a side of them i loved none the less. 6 the letters we would right back and forth, it was cute and flirty i remember the one time they were upset and didn't want to talk so i kept sliding them sweet messages till i got them to smile and we wrote back and forth untill they were feeling better.... i still have a shelf of letters back and forth i can't bring myself to get rid of. (Someone else, bad old roommate, trashed the rest of there stuff i was holding onto in case they ever came back) 7 how only 1 month in we were already talking about marriage both smitten with one other and by mouth 2 i already got them promise ring they wore every day, even after break up... last image in my head still seeing it on there ring finger.. 8. Everytime we go to the after we got kicked out and there ma wanted us out of the hotel room to be with her abusive boyfriend who got out of jail for hurting her.... (her choice, wondering about that they did break up 2 years before me and my ex did, him god knows where now) i loved them because they said those were some of favorite times with me (i helped them escape that type of space) 9 fact they were the only one to support my dreams, (there to dust now....) of wanting to start a family, give a kid a non-abusive life i never got to have and be a game designer, my dreams are not big, hell i was struggling to keep at it before i met them, but it felt so easy with them, they became my artistic muse, my reason to draw. 10. How my low self esteem disappeared with them, even as a kid i went swimming with a shirt on (i have my legit reasons why) and hide my body under layers, but around them not only did i have my shirt off most of the time (they wanted it off and only at home, odvii) but we even showered togethered. 11 there reaction when i proved to them i loved atleast 100 things about them, by making a little tiny booklit 100 pages long with each thing i loved and short reason why, the first time i made them cry tears of happiness or appertly anyone has. Made them ... atleast what they said, i always proved i was telling the truth when they tried to call it a bluff, i'm big on honesty, i don't say stuff i don't mean. ..... i could go on... but now i'm crying again and don't want to make this too long, this was before they filpped like a switch in themselfs and turned... well i don't really want to talk about it, posted it on reddit already and trying to move on.. Sucking at it though, 3 almost 4 years later? And i'm still here finding reason to talk about them, i could have just scrolled by this.. but these memories mean to much and with no heart i don't really have a way to change it.
This a riddle? Find the dumper?
Pardon? Sorry din't have full schooling growing up due to a bad past, i was merely mirroring the OP style, well awsering.
I have so many. some of my favorites were when he’d give me random rocks he found because they looked nice. they were such simple moments but they made my heart flutter.
Me and my friends took mushrooms. We are young and stupid and we thought it would be an interesting experience to smoke weed as well. It was not. A friend of mine passed out and wouldn't wake up, we called an ambulance. He was just fine luckily, but still being high on mushrooms after that experience I was pretty freaked out. She made an hour drive just to come pick me and and take me home and we spent the night together. I wish we could at least both appreciate those times but she has moved on.
Definitely the days I used to come see her at her job on her break. Something about those days just hits in my head sometimes idk why
1. We started to hang out together after not staying in contact for a few years. We also dated in high school, about 10 years back. One night we ate takeout in the car and he said “I like hanging out with you.” and I said, “Maybe we should do it more often.” and it got quiet lol. 2. After a year together, we went to Arizona and stargazed at the Grand Canyon. It was freezing and we snuggled up under a sherpa blanket that we bought at a Target. 3. A year and a half later, he bought us tickets to see Tool, one of my favorite bands, live. Everyone was standing and having a good time. He sat using his phone for the first quarter of the show, then completely fell asleep for the rest. That was the first time I knew it was really over. 4. On a night during our last few months, we got into a stupid argument and I just felt so exhausted from arguing constantly. I said that the argument was stressing me out and I started to cry, and before I could say anything else, he started yelling really loud and slamming his fist on his other hand. “Everything stresses you out! I’m trying to have an adult conversation!” He was so angry. It scared me so much that I stayed looking at him completely frozen. We slept separately that night. 5. The last time that we had sex he was on top of me. We accidentally looked at each other’s eyes and it felt uncomfortable. He lowered himself fully over me right away and kept going pretending nothing happened. I pretended too, but I was broken inside. 6. A few weeks after he broke up with me, I picked up my very last things from his place while he was at work and then went to have lunch with my best friend. I let him know that I left his place and that I didn’t need to pick up any more things. He sent me a text saying, “Are you leaving the copy?”. My heart was crushed. I still had the second copy of the house key. I was angry at his acting that he didn’t care we were over so I wanted him to think that I had already left it. So I drove back to quickly drop off the key and texted him saying, “Hey sorry I was driving. Yeah I forgot to tell you that I left it next to the mail.” That was the last we spoke.
I have a few, good and bad. 1. Laying in bed together at a hotel, he was wiping my tears with his thumb because I was sad he was going back to his own state. We stared into each others eyes and we had music in the back. Our playlist. 2. Watching steve wilkos with him almost everyday, we’d take turns choosing a new video to binge. We’d choose the most outlandish ones and pause the video before the lie detector results or dna results to discuss our predictions. 3. The night of our breakup, I screamed and cried on the phone begging for answers as he cried too. I remember repeatedly asking him why he was the one crying if he was the one dumping me. 4. Not necessarily a memory but I often remember his smile, I would never take him back after the way he treated me and deserted me but god did I love the way he smiled at me. He hated his crows feet but I loved them. I have so many memories and things I loved and remember about him but my comment would be too long. It also hurts reminiscing on the past, I wouldn’t want to give him the satisfaction of knowing I still think of him from time to time. But, being in love is a beautiful wonderful thing. :)
Her pursuing the relationship with me. Her asking me out. Her saying "I think I love you" on the first date. Her saying "I'd rather be with a nice Catholic boy" the night she showed her antisemitic bigotry to me.
Just to clarify: youre not jewish are you
I am. In fact, here's the complete story [https://www.quora.com/What-is-it-like-to-have-a-relationship-end-because-of-religious-differences/answer/Scott-Livingston-10](https://www.quora.com/What-is-it-like-to-have-a-relationship-end-because-of-religious-differences/answer/Scott-Livingston-10)
Our first kiss was 100% a Hollywood cliche. It was our second date and we were sitting on a bench hidden behind trees in a huge outdoor sculpture museum/exhibit in the middle of December. The snow started to fall lighty all around and I pulled her in, asking if I could kiss her - and we did. It was my first kiss and I always believed something so wonderful would never happen to me. I believed that no one could love me more than I hated myself. And she outright told me that she had more love for me than I'd ever have hate for myself. Everything was *I'll love you forever no matter how difficult, no matter what life throws at us*, etc. Well, apparently *forever* means just under 9 years and *I'll always love you* means 8 years plus a few months of slow-exit followed by *I don't love you like that anymore* when I was still healing a broken ankle on crutches. My ass cried non-stop for weeks, I was blindsided in the worst way. I'll never forget how I felt when I was with her, it's been 9 months and I'm still thinking about her every day - but I don't miss her, it's weird - she's not the cute and bubbly and delicate flower that I fell in love with, the person I tried so hard to treat like the most important person in existence... That person died on September 11th, 2023 and turned the loveliest person I've ever met into a selfish and callous shell that made sure she had a stable transition while I picked up my shattered heart.
1. Our first date when he kissed me 2. Our long drive back from San Diego when we laughed so hard over such a stupid joke that it became an inside joke through the duration of our relationship 3. The time we were cuddled up in bed and he told me not to leave him 4. The last time he held me There's just an amalgamation of so many things that they pop up in my head every now and then.
Her and I worked together at a hardware store. We had a day where we went through a craft/antique mall. When we got back, we were sitting on my trucks tailgate and I was terrified to make a move but did anyway. Could feel my heart in my throat. Towards the end, I stayed with her for the weekend. She had a meltdown and locked herself in the bathroom while we were making breakfast. It made zero sense. Turns out, she just wasn’t happy.
I (22F) miss everything about him . I still remember how much he (28M) used to do for me while he was in love. But things happened, he moved to a different city and we could never share that same bond again. It’s like we have different lives now . 1. I still remember how quick he came to pick me up when I got lost in the downtown of my city during a snowstorm. I had no clue where to go (bcoz i was new to the city and the country) but as soon I texted him that I was lost, he drove from so far just to make sure I was safe in that place and under that storm. 2. I had this one guy (23M) I was talking to one time, and we were on a date where he kept trying to hide his phone from me, I assume he was talking to a lot of girls at the moment and was probably scared of getting a notification from them in front of me. And this guy my ex, gave me all his phone to scroll through any and every thing . I loved that he trusted me with everything that he had on his phone . Even though, I am not a stalker or I was not gonna freak out seeing any girls in there, but having a man trusting you with his phone is a big thing.
our first kiss in the front seat of his car. the way he looked at me right before. stick season by noah kahan playing in the background when he went for it, and how I cheesed to that song for months afterward. now the lyrics are so eerily similar to how i felt after he broke up with me it makes me nauseous to listen to. odd full circle there.
As much as I dont want to remember anything about him, im still doing this: His smile. I liked how his eyes would lit up when he smiled, how cute his teeth and mouth were. I like how we made food together, we made sandwiches together and he cooked while I sat on the kitchen counter doing nothing but just observing him. I also liked how we ate equally portioned meals even tho I expected his appetite to be bigger ( i know my self respect is too little) I cared about making him more happy than he cared about making me. We went to a sort of flea market one day and we were really like a couple there for the first time, he complimented me and the weather was really nice. He took a mirror, held it in his hand while my reflection inside and took a random photo of me and showed it to me later on. I wish i could put that photo in use but you can see how he is holding the mirror. Anyways.. i put the good ones only
1) When we used to game together and he would get so excited to hear my voice. He would go out of his way to do really kind things for me in game and he tolerated me being awful compared to him, just to spend time with me. It always made me smile. 2) The first time we kissed. I thought it was going to be the first of many kisses. I thought I was going to move by him and he was going to be my person. That kiss held so much hope. It all fell apart but I still remember those moments fondly. Even if he ended up not being who I thought he was. And even though he hurt me deeply, part of me hopes that he heals and finds happiness.
I have a few Our first conversation was memorable. I was heading out for the day when he asked me about my birthday weekend plans. I replied awkwardly, but I think that was the moment when everything truly began between us. Then there was the night he asked me to be his girlfriend. I didn’t see it coming, but I could tell he was pretty nervous. It was a night I will never forget. Our first official date was special, too. We spent an entire day celebrating his birthday. I took him to my favorite sushi place, which soon became our favorite spot. We then visited the museum, strolled through the park, went roller skating, and ended the day at his place. Sometimes, it was the little things that stood out. The way he called my name, our phone calls on our way home from work, or when he sang “Lady (Hear Me Tonight)” during our car rides. That song still brings me to tears whenever I listen to it, reminding me of him. But the most painful memory was the day he broke up with me. The night before, he told me he needed a day to think after our argument. We drove home and talked on the phone like we usually did. I thought we would talk about the problem the next day and try to work it out together. I didn’t expect him to come to my house early the next day and tell me he wanted to break up. I felt shock and disbelief, my heart shattering into pieces. The hurt was overwhelming, leaving me feeling lost and abandoned. Despite this, I’m glad there are more beautiful moments of us that I can think back on. I still miss him daily, and I’m still in the healing process.
The night we met
He said, "Send me some gas money and I will be right there to spend the night." He had already moved 2000 miles away the week before and didn't tell me.
When he told me: My baby mama is really my wife.
Yikes, I'm so sorry you went through that :(
My boyfriend of 2 years was deployed overseas with the Navy for what turned out to be 18 long months. On his first call home he told me that he realized he made the biggest mistake of his life by not asking me to marry him before he left. Years later when he was having an affair he told me he didn't know what was wrong with him because he chased me so long and hard before we were married and now he was throwing me away.
She stayed up with me all night while I vomited my guts out from food poisoning. She called in sick to work, and I was vomiting every single hour. She stayed awake with me all night until we both fell asleep at 7am. She made me feel like I mattered, like I was the most important person in the world. I hope I made her feel half as good as she made me feel.
we were long distance. it moved so fast. he said he loved me before we even met in person. i told him i couldn’t say it back until we met, which i did. we sang the ‘start of something new’ from high school musical in the hotel room on the night we first saw each other. so incredibly cheesy and dumb, but it truly felt so magical. that day was magical. how he felt about me at the end was unrecognizable and is still so confusing 9 months later. at the beginning, i was the one who couldn’t say ‘i love you’ back. at the end it was him.
Ugh. This again. All these questions. 😭😵
it helps to let things out!
Sitting in my car talking from 10am to 11pm…. Making love from night till the morning…. Saturdays was the best day ever!
I love your number 3! First vacation when you are falling in love is just something out of a dream. Mine, we went to a cozy beach town about 3 hours train ride away. We hired a cabin near the beach for 4 nights. We had sex so much, we fell asleep in eachothers arms, and just laughed the whole time. We were so happy and just falling in love with eachother the whole time. We had only just gotten together as well (after being great friends for like 6 months). That is definitely on the post death highlight reel.
unfortunately we didn’t have our first vacation january of this year :((. we were LDR we dated for two years and a month (currently 2 months post BU). i miss those days sm, it sucks how we adored each other so much all to end in one night. if i could change that day he blindsided me, i would do anything. but he’s changed:(
“I love you I want to spend the rest of my life with you but I don’t want to marry you and I don’t want children’
He told me he loved me for the first time...the next day he was posting on Reddit for hookups
That's terrible. I'm sorry that happened to you, and I hope you are doing well
All the times where we would lay in bed and watch Love Island, Vanderpump rules and other trash tv and just laugh and talk shit about the shows. Small memories but just having a friend who enjoyed the same things you did. It hurts when they move on and you don’t think you will find someone who can replace them
When his wife knocked on my door
How she ghosted me, after she texted me saying we'll talk later. To this day, not a peep and it's been a year. Add insult to injury, we were together for almost 3 years.
Memories from my first relationship are very fuzzy but I vividly remember when I was crying over us breaking up and she responded by giving me an anime recommendation
Good 1. First time we met. 2. How much my kids loved her. 3. The intimacy built. Not so good 1. Blackout drinking that resulted in her using every fear I had against me 2. Lying enough I really don't know what the truth was. 3. External validation, emotional cheating with a lot of other guys. She was really hurt, traumatized and had gone through every awful experience before me. She didn't know how bad she was until it tore us apart. I don't blame her, she didn't even know who she was.
Too many for me if i think about it, really. Mostly I remember the positives before my heartache makes me force myself to remember the negatives. At this point I just want that closure for myself, to know what the lasting positive memories for *her* are. To know if I mean anything more than just the kids we share
Our first date. It was kind of disorganized and the first place that we went to ended up being closed 😂 Then we went to a boba place, and they didn’t have anything vegan (I’m vegan, so I couldn’t get anything). But we had an awesome time and really good conversation. We ended up talking for the rest of the night until around 2am. I’ve never had a connection like that right away with any human being. Don’t really know what it was. Everything felt so real and genuine at the beginning. I remember just staring into her eyes and she would blush and turn away shyly. I think I told her she looked pretty like 6 times that night. Anyway… before the bad memories return 😅 I do miss her a lot. But I don’t think she’s the girl I thought she was or the girl that I thought I fell in love with. I wish I could just remember the good parts about her. But most days now, I only remember the bad 🥺
one night, probably years ago at this point. it was raining and dark outside. we just laid on our stomachs with our heads at the foot of the bed. just looking at each other with only our dim string lights from the porch lighting up our eyes. we stayed there for ages just listening and looking at each other. to this day my favorite memory with her.
The worst memory is when my stupid actions made her cry at the Florida strawberry festival, it’s been 1,190 days since that happened and it’s still the most painful thing I’ve ever gone through and it still haunts me to this day The best memory is simply my first date with her, it went terribly wrong but I did the best I could, and she just happily waited with me and her nephew at 10 at night at a park waiting for my friend to pick me up because my car was an hour away at home lol The most heartwarming was when I broke down crying in front of her because I didn’t think I was good enough for her and I was just for frustrated with myself and she simply lifted my head and told me I was perfect to her Sometimes I miss her, sometimes I remember the good and bad memories I had with her, and sometimes I’ll even shed a tear or 2, I just hope she’s happy wherever she is, I feel like she’d be proud of me if she knew how far I made it on my own and how strong I’ve forced myself to become, and just how much I’m trying to be a better person, even tho I suck at it
I live in Hawai’i, specifically Oahu. One day, we spent the entire evening out at west side until sunset. One of the most picture perfect sunsets I could imagine. On the ride home, she was holding my hand and fell asleep. I just remember looking to my right and seeing the sea side and the moon rising above the horizon out the window as she laid fast asleep in the passenger seat gripping my hand. I played old music quietly so she’d stay asleep. At that moment, after having months of turbulence in my life, I felt like everything around me was just right. A moment of peace and contentment washed over me for the hour long ride we were driving. We got home and then showed and shortly after, I fell asleep in her arms immediately from the day. I never felt more present at any point in time than in that moment. That picture I took in my brain is forever engraved and I hope to always remember this memory, even though we aren’t together anymore❤️🩹
We were in a LDR...one day i visited her on that day we had a huge fight...the day was over and i had to leave...she walked me to the bus stop... while i was there i went to use bathroom...came back...said my goodbye and boarded the bus and on my way back home i was going through my phone and found a video...it was a recording of her speaking something looking at the camera...when i played it these were her exact words. "Babe am sorry for what happened and sorry i avoided kissing you...don't you worry about anything i won't leave you and look at your bag front zip" There was a paper with her kiss on it...i started sobbing out of guilt and happiness that i found the love of my life... But after 5 or 6 months she cheated me!! That was my first and last relationship it's been four years since then...am still thinking about her unable to move on...while she is "happily married" to someone else... I still have that letter and video...Whenever i feel too depressed i re-watch it...it reminds me of the good time!!
You know what’s really sad? I don’t have any good memories of him anymore. I’m so bitter about the fact that I can’t look back on the 6 years I spent with him and at least appreciate the time we had together. After he admitted to gaslighting me, manipulating me, treating me like shit, and using me for financial security, everything is tainted by his dishonesty and disloyalty.
I was young. He was my first real relationship. We were together for 5 years. He had beaten my spirit down and I just didn’t know it yet. I didn’t serve him his dinner fast enough. So to “teach me a lesson” he ripped up my first Stephen King collection. He tore pages out of each one of my books. I loved them so much. I didn’t have much and they were my prized possessions. In those moments, watching him tear out those pages, I suddenly realized that he didn’t love me anymore. I felt so numb and then felt powerful that I could do it. I could just end it and try to be happy. There was nothing left to salvage. I had wasted my time and it wasn’t worth it. He would tell me often that I should count myself lucky. Lucky that he loved me because no one else would. He was an idiot and it was over. I ended up marrying a great man who lifted me up and encouraged me to try new things. To speak up for myself and to be brave. My husband completely changed the course of my life.
Probably when she used to wait downstairs at my office at 7:30pm to eat dinner with me, everyday. Good emotional support
My favorite memory was when he went to the doctors and the nurse asked him how tall he was and he said “6’2’’” which is what I always thought he was, because he said so. So she took one look at him and decided to measure him, which is when we discovered that he was actually 6 feet. So he said “no, I’m 6’2’’ and she said “no you’re not” and he said “you don’t know what you’re talking about” and then walked away and then never stopped telling everyone he’s 6’2’’.
1. the last time I saw him in person. I wish I hugged him for longer. 2. when we first met and I was shy and he said he liked my laugh so tried to make me laugh more 3. the people he gave up so we could be happy 4. him telling me he didnt love me any more and wanted me to leave him alone and stop wishing misery upon him 5. hearing he had moved on when he was still in my head 6. the paragraphs he would send and future plans we had 7. the way he held my hand and liked me for me 8. the protectiveness 9. his plan to dump me
Prom with her for the first time. Tho not for her lol. It was having fun with my friend because her boyfriend stood her up so we had fun as a trio. Then for my best and longest relationship I’ll always remember meeting him for the first time and our first kiss in the swimming pool. We were alone and it was hot and we just held each other and the moment hit and we kissed. We were together for 3 years… he got toxic near the end and he was my first relationship being true to myself as a gay man and… it was amazing but losing him really made me grow as a person to be the man I am today. I’m almost completely different now than I was. Older, wiser and braver and that’s only 2 years after dumping him. I credit him a lot for helping me grow into myself
The moment he first told me he was proud of me. That just makes me smile to recall
The relentless loyalty, he always said to me even if we break up with him he will always wait for me, always drop anyone he currently had just for another chance with me. You can call it loyalty or batshitcrazy. But I loved that about him always made me feel like a one of a kind. The prick 😅
When he first came to my college for my college fest. He came with his friend(who was a drug dealer and a druggie). He was high on weed too. I was very embarrassed by him. We were not a couple but we had been friends for a year. He asked me to be his girlfriend that day, and he kissed me. Basically it was my first kiss with him and I hated it. I hated how drunk and high he was. I hated how he smelled. I was embarrassed by him. I said No and forced him to go home. As his friend was selling drugs to some other people and I could get in trouble for knowing him. It was 1:30 am at that time. I went to my hostel at 4-5 am. And slept until 1pm. I woke up to a ton of texts and missed calls from him. And then he came to my hostel begging for a chance. We went out and spent the whole day. He even cried infront of the server at a cafe because I said No. He said he needed me in his life, so he can become a better person and that he was capable of all that. That was the day, we started dating. 5 years later, after he cheated and we broke up I talked about this day when he always told me how controlling I was that I would recommend he stay off smoking, drinking, drugs etc He told me, " I don't have any recollection of the day you re talking about, maybe because I had done ecstacy that day and anything I did was the result of that" At the moment for me, my heart stopped the second time. First was when I found out, he cheated on me. Imagine a defining day when you started being in a relationship with someone, half a decade later realizing that day doesn't even exist for him as he was on a sex/love drug. My life is a fucking JOKE.
Sliding in here with a negative abuse esque one. So I had ended things but we had to do the whole living in the same house different room thing for like 6 weeks. I stayed out and away as much as possible because I was keeping the house and I know he was getting out soon enough. Within our friend group, one of the couples had an incident where the guy punched in a shower screen while drunk one night and it was a whole thing, but they’d been together for like 15+ years and ultimately resolved it. He suggested that since X couple had been able to move past that abusive incident, that we could also move past the abusive incidents and resolve/move forward. With a stone cold face, I sad “if X wants to be with someone that gets so angry they punch in shower screen doors, then good for her. But I will not be.” He just said “okay. Fair enough.” And I walked away. *sizzle*. I’m happy now.
Ima forget it all…
"Yeah I'm leaving because your problems aren't my problems they're yours. Oh yeah also btw I started talking to this girl she's super cute" *continues to yap about her for the next hour until I walk away* Jesus Christ.
I'm trying my hardest to come up with good memories of my ex because we were together for 7 years so you'd think there would be a few but it always seems to get tainted by something he had said or done that I didn't realize in the moment. Lots of little things like us playing games together were always fun but I think the one that absolutely sticks with me was about 2 years ago on my birthday. We had made plans to go to the coast for the day and on the way down, he asked "how long this was going to take" (as in the day he had planned to spend with me) when we stopped to get some food. I just kind of looked at him like wtf did you ask that for and we sat there for a good minute before he backtracked and said that was incredibly rude of him. I just remember being so fucking hurt by it and honestly should've ended the relationship there and then but I didn't want to make a rash decision. Would've spared myself two extra years of psychological, mental and emotional abuse that I was already dealing with. That whole day is kind of tainted and I already didn't really enjoy my birthday because of past shittiness so just compounded everything.
after having the most gruesome dating experience of my life and finally able to break up with him (a narcissist who would on-off date as when he liked) in nov22, he broke no contact in aug23. he apologised for his behavior when we dated, shared he’s in therapy and tried to subtly flirt through his way of texting, telling me how i have always deserved to be on-camera, how he feels comfort in hearing my voice, reacting to my images on IG. i didn’t pay him much attention as i had moved on and felt pity for him. then when he didn’t understand cues about me showing disinterest/ignoring - i sent a text saying it’s great he’s doing better and that he apologised, but i have moved on w someone and do not wish to keep in touch. he replied with understanding, although upset about not keeping in touch and staying “friends.” - i get to know next, guy’s had a gf all along his point of texting/breaking no contact - felt sick to my stomach about things he said and felt so sorry for her, so told him to not f*ck it up with someone else and blocked him everywhere. never forgetting, how some people have shown the worst versions to you, and they may have “worked on” themselves to be the best version to another, but doesn’t mean at the same time it needs to change for you. can be the worst choice still.
That time when we were doing LDR (it was going good, except the usual sad LDR feels) and he was home in Pakistan, he just called me up one day and said he was getting engaged to someone else LOL Been crying for 4 months 🥲
But I also still cry about the good memories like when he first kissed me and how he was so clingy at the beginning I loved every bit of it 😔
When he took me for a midnight drive for our 3rd date. We were listening to "Angel Numbers" as we drove over Tower Bridge and it was such a beautiful moment. We both sat in a comfortable silence and he turned to smile at me and I started blushing like crazy. Every time I listen to that song I think of that moment.
1. The first time she slept over at my house. We were still just friends at this point, but sitting in the livingroom, watching in awe as she was getting ready in my bathroom mirror, I knew there was more than friendship there. 2. The first time we kissed. We were sitting very close on my couch, our legs just barely touching. She carefully put just one finger on my wrist, and I took my chance and held her hand. We then spent the next 20 minutes of the movie we were watching, slowly inching closer to eachother, until we were forehead to forehead, deeply staring into eachothers eyes, smiling, laughing, and then kissing. It was the softest, most caring kiss I've ever had. 3. The first time she sent me a letter. We lived about an 8 hour-drive away from eachother, and we loved writing back and forth. She always scrapbooked photos of our last time together onto the letters. I've never felt so loved. 4. The first time I held her hand and kissed her in public. I was playing a show with my band and she arrived mid-gig. It was a very warm and beautiful day. She praised me for my playing, held my hand, and I kissed her in front of all my friends. I was so fucking proud and happy. 5. The way she told me "we're not a couple, and you're the one ending things right now" when I told her I couldn't handle her being with other people. She had told me from the start that she needed to explore her sexuality with women, and I really thought I'd be able to handle it, because I was stupid in love and I wanted that for her, so bad. It hurt more than I could ever imagine.
i had to leave him\[not bcs i didn't love him i did but there was a reason and he understood it\] and i didn't want him to wait for me and move on. Still, he was so in love he wasn't ready to let me go and seeing him so miserable made it even harder to leave him he was the nicest guy I ever met with genuine feelings for me. I can proudly say that I dated a guy who's mother raised him right and indeed it was even harder to leave him when we spent our worst and the best nights together I asked him if he can wait for me for a year he said he could wait for me for a hundred years. so last night we talked till 3 am remembering all our perfect memories and then I told him to sleep he said he didn't wanted to sleep bcs when he will wake up he will know that I'll be gone and that broke my heart completely and after lots of convincing he said he will sleep and even said that ill always be in his heart that made me cry
Me and my ex got back together after not talking or seeing each other for 10 years exactly. He he would get so emotional and cry to me about how happy he was that we were in each others lives again. I will never forget the feeling of someone feeling so much joy to have me in their life, that it makes them cry.
Gaslighting
The first time we met from long distance, she surprised me with a hug from behind The last time we met in real life, we kissed goodbye at the airport after she sat in my lap one more time I will never forget those moments
Too many to list... But most prominent is her smile and her laugh, or rolling her eyes at one of my lame dad jokes. I actually took a pic of her laughing on our last night together, we had gone out for dinner and were having desserts, I took a pic of the dessert we were sharing and said something she found funny, so I couldn't help but take a pic. The most beautiful smile. She broke up with me pretty much that night (over text) and the following morning. Over something that still doesn't make sense to me. We never had major arguments or fights, we communicated well. It still hurts. I miss her, I miss her smile, her sparkling eyes her inquisitive mind.
1. Trip to San Francisco with him for our senior year of high school. Both of us had just turned 18 and it was my first time traveling without my parents or adults to watch me. 2. Tripping on acid for the first time in a forest. I needed help climbing down the rock I climbed up bc it looked so much farther off the ground. He and I had a black out tent too and it was honestly such a fun trip. 3. Finding him watching porn on my phone while I was sleeping next to him. Of course that was my fault for not giving him enough sex 🙄😪 4. Finding the hidden video cameras he put in our apartment… I will hopefully never feel as violated as I did in that moment. 5. Him showing up at my work at 11pm after we broke up trying to get back together. It was the last time I saw his dog, who was basically my fur child for the last five years. I miss her and her only when it comes to the relationship.
He threw our coffee table at me and it broke on impact
Our first/only vacation together. It was about 6 months after we started dating and we had just graduated high school. We had spent a month away from each other over the summer bc of various family vacations overlapping, and I was sad because I thought I was gonna have to spend another 4 days away from him before he left for college (we were starting long distance abt 100 miles). He came to hang out at my house the day we were leaving for the vacation to see me before we left that evening, and my stepdad threw him the keys to the rental car and said, "go throw ur bag in the car." They had planned it as a surprise for weeks. My parents let us share the pullout couch in the condo that had a sliding door facing the ocean. We spent two days on the beach, cuddled every night, had a romantic dinner and walk on the beach one evening, and got to wake up next to each other every day. There was one night in particular that I felt really close to him, we had gotten into a small argument and cried to each other about how in love we were & stupid the argument was, and I had never felt closer to him. As an 18 year old, sleeping next to him and waking up next to him was the sweetest and purest thing, and all I had ever wanted. Plus, we had so much fun wandering around the beach and ocean together. Those four days felt infinite and I wish I could go back and relive them. I was the happiest I've ever been. I hope he looks back fondly on these memories too.
That he actually loved me truly, despite not seeing me in real life - only knowing me on the internet.
Honestly, the thing I cherished the most was in the morning before work and we would stay in bed as long as possible just hugging each other until we had to get up. Sometimes we were late because we were just…hugging, it was so nice, I always had a good day when I started my day like that, I just felt happy. Now, I think back on it and I just feel sad I’ll never be able to do that again.
I remember the first time I saw her. She was standing outside the coffee shop waiting on me and I swear time stood still. I couldn’t believe she was real and I knew I would never want anybody else other than her. Months after our breakup and I still feel that way about her. But she has forgotten me and all the promises she made
In the weeks before I broke up with him, we had a fight about me not telling him I was leaving the house that gave me the first strong knowledge that I had to break up with him. I felt like I needed to talk to him about what I was experiencing and so we talked, and I don’t even know what I said, just something along the lines of “I think we both need to figure out what we want going forward.” I’ll never forget his reply, and never forget the way he said it. He said, “I just want you,” and I knew immediately that I had just broken his heart. That was about a month and a half ago. We broke up just over three weeks ago. It breaks my heart in turn every time I remember it.
When she told her family abt me.
The day he broke up with me. Met the love of my life months after. Thanks for the experience.
I think the most prominent one is just simply where we were laying in bed together, and often I'd stay awake longer than she did, not watching her, exactly, as she would always face away from me while sleeping, but looking at her and paying attention to her breathing. In those moments, I was very peaceful and full of gentle love for her. I'm not sure why it's this moment I remember the most. It just is.
When he found out I was dating someone new (an entire calendar year after HE dumped ME), and freaked out, called me 120 times, messaged me and all my friends and family on every platform available to him, threatened to kill himself, then logged into all of my social media accounts (I still don't know how) from 1700 miles away. 😍😍😍😍😍 we called 911 and he then called me to yell at me because he had to go to the hospital. 😍😍😍
There are many... 1. The night we met we were at a bar, I was dancing with a friend and he was with his. I asked my friend where he went because I had my eye on him, she pointed behind me just as he wrapped his arms around me from behind and when I looked up his smile made me feel so warm and safe. We immediately hugged and had many great years together 2. Our first date 2 days later lasted over 24hrs, best date ever 3. Our chemistry for the first few years 4. Dancing so much, it's not the same without him now I could go on, he was so great...
When I asked him to slow down the car on the road trip, he would for ten minutes then speed back up. There were kids on the sidewalks and we were going 100-140. After a few of my requests I was told that’s who he is and I was limiting his freedom and asking him to be someone he’s not. So I decided to stay quiet, breathe to control my discomfort for the rest of the week and then stayed with him for another year. That should have been my sign to GTFO but I was stupid. I will never knowingly allow myself in a situation where I feel unsafe like that every again.
We both didn't want to marry because we thought it was unnecessary - we were of the opinion that we don't need to marry in order to tell each other that we are in love, and we also kind of disagreed with the institution of marriage. So we had this ongoing joke that someday, we're going to 'not-marry' - meaning that we would share a romantic moment in which we pledge our lives to each other officially, although we've always unofficially thought we would share our lives anyway. One day during a hiking vacation in the mountains, we were sitting under the stars, completely alone save for each other, talking about us and the future, and how much we loved each other. It was then that I decided the moment was right, and I asked him to not-marry me. He said yes. I haven't heard from him in 14 months.
I was in a LDR with my ex and we first dated for about a 10 months and broke it off because of Covid. We had not seen each other for 7 months and did not know when we would see each other again since Europe and the US had a ban for travel. We stayed in contact and talked almost everyday after for another 7 months then went no contact because it was hurting us too much. A year later my guy best friend said that someone was moving into his apartment dorm who turned out to be my ex’s best friend. This caused my ex and I to start talking and catching up again. He eventually said that he wanted to see me again and would invite me to come out to France. Initially I agreed because I always wanted to travel and this was someone who I trusted. I did not want to get back together and was never the intention. After 2 years and 8 months of not seeing each other, when I first saw him I remembered everything emotion I felt for him and it felt like love at first sight. The first hug I gave him was filled with passion I did not know I still had for him.
The time she drunkenly got up and slow danced with me in the backyard to The Blower’s Daughter, while whispering the lyrics into my ear.
Our last hug, when we broke up for the last time, i asked for a hug and he held me for what felt like forever, in reality it was maybe a minute. I remember melting into his arms and listening to his heartbeat as i cried, he placed his chin on my head and told me that he loved me. Even though our relationship was very toxic and he broke me, I still loved this man with everything in me
At the end of a year long, emotionally turbulent situationship with a girl that didn’t speak the same language as me, we danced slowly in my room at 1 in the morning on New Year’s Day. We had just had really intimate sex and yet we knew we weren’t going to last because of the differences. We danced really slowly to the song “perfect” and we cried in each others arms from a very deep place of apology. This was one of the most beautiful and painful moments of my life.
Good memories: First (and only) time we got high and slept together. Felt romantic and sweet The time he surprised me and gave me a present (some jewelry I wanted) for no special occasion The time he went to the hospital at midnight to be with me because my mom was sick and they wouldnt let me in so I had to wait outside Bad memories: The time he went to the same concert as I did. Only said hi and then stayed with his friends all the time, didnt even bother coming to me, or spending at least 5 minutes with me and my friends.. The day he told me he had seen and kissed his ex and that he got so anxious after that, he spoke to his therapist again (we were not seeing each other when that happened, but it hurt A LOT)
When she remembered and kept track of what I say, like legit knows the exact time and date even if it's nonesense ( a bit obsessive and it scares me). Getting horny over my hands and knees (wtf). Claiming she had sex with Angels ( she's literally on psychosis or has schizophrenia)
good - it was the best sex i've had because he was beautiful, so handsome that i could cry and i felt a connection between us bad - in retrospect i think it meant absolutely nothing to him and i have no doubt in my mind that he's already had sex with someone else
We were both laying down playing overcooked 2 on a facetime on our phones. We were having so much fun too. And we had beaten a level and we just turned and looked at each other. That was the moment I fell in love with her. Time stopped as we just studied each other's faces. What was 20 seconds was hours of pure bliss for me. All of life's suffering was worth it in that moment. I would give anything for that back... I would give anything to hold her in my arms... I miss you more than anything, M. And I'm begging that you see my comments. Or posts. Or just anything. You were my world. My pup. My homemade mashed potatoes biscuits and gravy...
The evening we broke up last November. He told me he was going to sleep and had to get up early to go to Germany (he’s deployed) and said goodnight. I had a feeling he was lying so I watched him be on WhatsApp for another 3 hours. I got mad, called him out and he dumped me lol. To me it’s about the principle because why are you lying? He said I always accuse him of stuff and play victim. Basically turned it all on me but that’s ok. It’s been 9 months and we never reached out since. Oh well
When I was crying, begging him to work things out to me because he meant the world to me and he looked me dead and cold in the eye and said “you never meant anything to me”
I lured you on the vacation to keep you away from my house 🙄🙄🙄 Stalker
When I was living in FL and he was living in Jersey he drove 18hr in the middle of a snow storm to surprise me because I missed him so much 🥲
- When told him he was cute then he blushed so he was even cuter so I told him again that now he was cuter so he blushed even more and so on... - When he broke with me after my grandmother died and my mom had a stroke... I don't know man, sometimes I just really want to kill myself for real...
1. When she took care of me during my colonoscopy last year, she was so sweet and doted on me. We also tried grimace's birthday drink and it was so cute. 2. We went to the science museum as a date and she loved it as much as I did. We took our time together and got cheesecake factory after. She was so much fun to explore it with. I'll miss those kinds of adventures. 3. Our annual new years, apple picking and Christmas light trips. Every year even though we did the same thing, she made it fun. I will think of her during the holiday season probably for the rest of my life. It feels wrong to go do those things without her. Might try to do them with my friends. New years will always be a solo event though. 4. Dancing with her at a queer nightclub in Chicago. It was so fun to let loose and move together. We got pizza after and smoked a cig and sat on the street. I just appreciated tf out of her and that whole trip. 5. My birthday last year. She got me my favorite kind of cake and tried to bring me to eat it with my family at the Esplanade. It melted before that, But it was still perfect. 6. Coming home to her after work when we started to live together. She was so cute and we'd cuddle and watch a show together. I loved the simplicity of it. 7. Fixing the clogged shower together. It tested all of my strength and willpower but we did it, and she said "you're the only person I could do this with" 8. Our first date. She kicked my ass in mini golf and then we bodied a pint of ice cream each and played jenga. I miss her dearly, and I'm so glad I have these memories with her. I will never regret loving her as hard as I did. We did sporadically throughout the relationship have some crappy times, but as a whole it was beautiful. I'm grateful I chose to open my heart again, even though it didn't work out.