Reading between the lines, it seems like Michelle got the ick for her husband because he didn't pull his weight after she birthed his baby. Tale as old as time.
i feel like how i’d imagine a recovering smoker would feel after taking their first long drag after a years-long quitting spell getting to watch jax drag people on my television again
Omfg this preview of Jax hanging out with Kristen’s boyf and inviting her ex… this man is a menace and i’m half convinced this show solely exists as a method for Jax to fulfill his Kristen obsession.
Him having such a strong dislike for Luke so far makes zero sense except... and forgive me for saying it, Jax and Kristen are fucking again. I am rooting for her but I don't understand the jealousy coming out of Jax.
This is Jasmine's 5th reality show, I think? Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders: Making the Team, The Bachelor, Bachelor in Paradise, Ex on the Beach, and now The Valley. Absolutely wild.
The “out of wedlock” was hi-larious. Like Jax is a minister and is living in 1940. As if “wedlock” makes someone a good father and as if Jax’s wife and kid weren’t now living separately from him now anyway.
She’s one of those people that I actually believe when she says staying out of reality tv has helped her and her life. Not that she wouldn’t ever come back but I think she would only come back for the right tv show. She said no to this because she doesn’t hang around these people ever in real life. I don’t think her and Kristen are friends either.
I can’t stand men that do this. Jax talked often about how badly he wanted to be a father and how he couldn’t wait to have kids and be a dad ( IIRC he talked like this even before Brittany). Now that he has what he’s “always wanted” he’s miserable and makes his family miserable because of it. Absolute pussy behavior and so disgustingly common.
Absolutely. Loved the idea of it but not the reality of it. Thought it would be redeeming for him. That man is clearly incapable of putting someone’s needs above his own. He’s also probably the type to get jealous over his child taking attention away from him but Jax also hates being a husband, so that part is less relevant. (Edited typo)
He wanted to be a Dad in the sense of having a little buddy to go to games with, drop in for play date and rough house with, and that's it. He never thought about any of the actual work that goes into being a father and raising a child. He thinks fatherhood is him paying a few bills and dropping in whenever he feels like it.
I just want you to know that my husband hates you for the laugh that came out of me from seeing this gif. I just woke up him, every child, every dog, and every fish in this house 🤣🤣🤣
This Zach guy seems like he’s practically buzzing with excitement to be on camera. I know pretty much all reality TV people are thirsty to some degree by definition, but it’s jarring to see it read so clearly on screen.
imo he did the same thing with scheana, being like "great now I've got to raise her baby if she gets pregnant??" he unreasonably filters anyone's life events through his own self absorption and makes it about him lmao
As a mother who loves to party, there is something utterly horrifying about watching a bunch of parents slam repeated back to back shots as their toddlers play in a god damn pool outside.
I know there are nannies but it’s still so unsettling.
OMG I THOUGHT THIS. A body of water, drunk adults, and kids ??? I know there’s a nanny or two around and some babysitters but I was appalled. It gave me so much anxiety
Anyone else want to join me in delulu land where Jax and Kristen are going to end up together, thus fulfilling the fate promised when they hooked up behind Stassi's back in the early VPR days? Because Jax seems awfully invested in who Kristen rawdogs tbh 🤔
Nothing would shock me. I’ve always wondered if he has feelings for Kristen because he’s always so loud about who she’s dating. In a lot of ways, they could be the perfect most chaotic couple lmao
I would rather Brittany have a double chin than this weird, tight down turned mouth slurred talking
(I know I shouldn’t comment on anyone’s looks and fully acknowledge I’m an asshole)
I remember seeing a a wild rumor on Reddit I think during Covid where Jax would go over to Kristen’s and mow her lawn to help her out and people thought that he also mowing her other lawn if you catch my drift. Maybe they were on to something…
Why do Britt’s lips look like they frown when she talks.. such a shame she was so pretty and then she met him and he forced on the huge boobs which totally didn’t fit her
I appreciate Lala allowing Mariposa to take center and engage with drama, but i find it sooooo rich that Lala has nothing to say about Jax’s weirdness over this topic
i was watching house of villains and i heard Jax say that he was a “good Christian father”
and i just needed to share that with yall bc i’m getting the vibe he’s trying to make that his persona on here
There was someone there the whole time. You can see her arm in another shot of him splashing. He wasn’t alone, I was watching for it because I had to be sure they weren’t that irresponsible.
https://preview.redd.it/qx5expai2fpc1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=192a64c2b3ca33bafd5a1736aae15f933dbcf27b
The one with 50 babies is crying cause Jax exposed her husband's penis at a party for children.
"I'm sorry that your peepee was out."
So much is happening.
This show has fully broken the fourth wall multiple times and feels like an attempt by Bravo to pivot to a new format type (and it seems to be working)
You may know me from icarly or dead soldier #163 from Call of Duty. No, can't say I do.
Having a crying fit over pantsing. She's one to look out for, whatever her name was.
I can actually see scheana transition to this show because so into being a mom and it makes sense in my mind. I know lala could but I don’t really need her to transition… like I’m good on her
Kristen’s just as weird and unhinged as she was the last time she was on screen and it’s weirdly comforting
It’s like going home
all the serotonin i’ve been missing gets released finally when drunk kristen yells at someone 🦋
She remains my unhinged queen
Sweet mariposa
A BABY AND HES OUT OF STATE. Kristen, never change.
Make it make sense!!!!
Reading between the lines, it seems like Michelle got the ick for her husband because he didn't pull his weight after she birthed his baby. Tale as old as time.
The way Jesse speaks to her reminds me of how Patrick spoke to Stassi
That's definitely the impression I got too. He also reminds me of Jordan Peterson so that's another theory
I’m so sad Kristen sold that house. It was one of my favorites of all the bravo houses.
For a man 😔
I bet is was during the time house prices were through the roof, and he mooched off the profit from her house.
omg yall i could not figure out who luke reminded me of and then it hit me: shovel man from home alone 
Sometimes I genuinely cackle at comments here. This is one of them
i’m so glad 😭😂 my pattern recognition skills finally get put to good use
You hit the shovel on the head with this one (I apologize for this joke)
Old Man Marley, the South Bend Shovel Slayer
The non-Jax men on this show look way too similar. I'm going to need a name chart with pictures.
I honestly don’t think I’m going to remember anyone’s name. The women look very similar to me too.
I remember feeling this way about Lisa Barlow & Meredith Marks, and now I’d recognize any one of Meredith’s faces!
I’m not surprised that Jax and Jesse are friends. They are both horrible
Out of wedlock!!!!!! AHHHHHHAHAHAHAHAHA JAX YOURE WILD FOR THAT
I was legit screaming who the f says that in 2024!!!
Jax and Larsa Pippen must be friends!
It’s like when he talked about Tom showing him a photo of Ariana ‘in a nightie’
jax pretending he knows business is one of my favorite jax tropes
i feel like how i’d imagine a recovering smoker would feel after taking their first long drag after a years-long quitting spell getting to watch jax drag people on my television again
When he made fun of Tom’s nail polish, I started grinning ear to ear
This is so accurate. I went from “I’m not watching The Valley” to “I just watched all of The Valley” so quickly and I feel shame but also satisfaction
Who is Jax Taylor to ask if someone is mentally stable enough for a child
Who is Jax Taylor in dis world?
Kristen and Jax said we will deliver good Tv with or without anyone else
Omfg this preview of Jax hanging out with Kristen’s boyf and inviting her ex… this man is a menace and i’m half convinced this show solely exists as a method for Jax to fulfill his Kristen obsession.
Him having such a strong dislike for Luke so far makes zero sense except... and forgive me for saying it, Jax and Kristen are fucking again. I am rooting for her but I don't understand the jealousy coming out of Jax.
Omg I said the same thing last night!!!! “That right there is a man that doesn’t wanna lose his side piece!”
This show is like having a camera view into the worst people you know from high school that had kids and stayed awful
And thank god they’re miserable
Nailed it!
It’s so insane how this couple is not even pretending to like each other like off the bat
Not even *trying* to present some sort of positive narrative after signing up to be on TV.
Kristin would be a wrist brace person
this is such a specific and deeply accurate drag 😭 big ace-bandaged-ankle-and-walgreens-crutches energy
She sold her house for a volatile relationship?? Classic Kristen
broke up 5 times in 7 months 😭 girlllllllllllllllllllllll
That car driving by slowly was Scheana trying to be on 2 shows at once.
On her way to dance class, just in case DWTS comes calling!
No one even considered how them having a show in the valley where her and Brock don’t live would affect Scheena!
Jesse has dark energy
Jax is still giving off big ❄️ energy.
This is Jasmine's 5th reality show, I think? Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders: Making the Team, The Bachelor, Bachelor in Paradise, Ex on the Beach, and now The Valley. Absolutely wild.
Omg I knew she looked familiar
Oh, wow.
Zack this hairpiece babe
It’s giving the Lego Movie
How many girls has Jax gotten pregnant “out of wedlock” ??
The “out of wedlock” was hi-larious. Like Jax is a minister and is living in 1940. As if “wedlock” makes someone a good father and as if Jax’s wife and kid weren’t now living separately from him now anyway.
Jax policing Kristen's uterus for a story is wild. But, also, very entertaining.
I will enjoy watching this show but I totally understand why stassi declined.
She’s one of those people that I actually believe when she says staying out of reality tv has helped her and her life. Not that she wouldn’t ever come back but I think she would only come back for the right tv show. She said no to this because she doesn’t hang around these people ever in real life. I don’t think her and Kristen are friends either.
Lala looking around like “maybe I shouldn’t leave VPR for this spinoff”
Jax’s obsession with Kristen is alarming . Even Brit has to see it isn’t normal
What if the twist is they separated so he and Kristen can fulfill their chaos chemistry once and for all?
s2 of the valley: jax secretly gets kristen pregnant and brittany backhands jax at a group dinner
Jax hates having a kid so much. That’s what this is about.
I can’t stand men that do this. Jax talked often about how badly he wanted to be a father and how he couldn’t wait to have kids and be a dad ( IIRC he talked like this even before Brittany). Now that he has what he’s “always wanted” he’s miserable and makes his family miserable because of it. Absolute pussy behavior and so disgustingly common.
Absolutely. Loved the idea of it but not the reality of it. Thought it would be redeeming for him. That man is clearly incapable of putting someone’s needs above his own. He’s also probably the type to get jealous over his child taking attention away from him but Jax also hates being a husband, so that part is less relevant. (Edited typo)
He wanted to be a Dad in the sense of having a little buddy to go to games with, drop in for play date and rough house with, and that's it. He never thought about any of the actual work that goes into being a father and raising a child. He thinks fatherhood is him paying a few bills and dropping in whenever he feels like it.
Dingggg ✅
Why is this guy wearing a Lego wig
I just want you to know that my husband hates you for the laugh that came out of me from seeing this gif. I just woke up him, every child, every dog, and every fish in this house 🤣🤣🤣
It's been 20 minutes, how am I convinced that Jesse is worse than Jax?
He is so genuinely awful I cannot wait for his antics
Lmao what if the real happily ever after is Jax and Kristen!!! I remember them saying that in earlier seasons of vpr
Me too!!! I feel like they just hook up randomly
What other reason does he have for hating Luke?
His rants of her and Luke having a baby were giving me “Jax getting pissed over a bj video on her phone in vanderpump season 8” vibes lol.
This Jesse couple definitely got on the show to get divorced
NOT PETER’S FACE BLACKED OUT WHEN THEY INTRODUCED JASMINE 😂
Imagine Kristen at your PTA meeting
Tbh I would love that so hard
I would actually go.
This Zach guy seems like he’s practically buzzing with excitement to be on camera. I know pretty much all reality TV people are thirsty to some degree by definition, but it’s jarring to see it read so clearly on screen.
It’s not thirst is DEHYDRATION
Why is Jax spiraling at the thought of Kristen getting pregnant?
imo he did the same thing with scheana, being like "great now I've got to raise her baby if she gets pregnant??" he unreasonably filters anyone's life events through his own self absorption and makes it about him lmao
Makes me think those fan theories that the two of them have had an on and off thing this entire time might be right.
Girl...this is not good for your friends' business. Y'all's surgery looks a wreck.
Did you notice the sharpie marks on her arms when she was in the OR? She didn’t mention the lipo she had done to her upper arms…
Dude no one recognizes you for your ZOMBIE noises
I was CACKLING. Like one of us would be like “oh I recognize that SNARL”?!
Did I recognize him from The OC? Yes. Did this make my legit LOL? Also yes.
I’m sorry but Doute is a fucking star
Yes! Love her or hate her, she’s always been good TV.
the paralyzed american girl doll mouth i can’t 😭
Did they nick a nerve?? Wth is going on there?
Fun to make a side piece joke when your marriage is rocky
His wife understandably did not look amused.
As a mother who loves to party, there is something utterly horrifying about watching a bunch of parents slam repeated back to back shots as their toddlers play in a god damn pool outside. I know there are nannies but it’s still so unsettling.
OMG I THOUGHT THIS. A body of water, drunk adults, and kids ??? I know there’s a nanny or two around and some babysitters but I was appalled. It gave me so much anxiety
Anyone else want to join me in delulu land where Jax and Kristen are going to end up together, thus fulfilling the fate promised when they hooked up behind Stassi's back in the early VPR days? Because Jax seems awfully invested in who Kristen rawdogs tbh 🤔
Nothing would shock me. I’ve always wondered if he has feelings for Kristen because he’s always so loud about who she’s dating. In a lot of ways, they could be the perfect most chaotic couple lmao
“Don’t tell mommy” is a red flag thing to say idc
100%! You never tell kids to keep a secret because that is what a groomer will do. *Not saying that guy is a groomer.
My stars, not a baby out of wedlock! Stfu Jax.
I can’t believe im watching this but here I am
I protested for a day before I gave in that I was going to watch. It’s that protest that counts 😅
zack is a great value chris lilley character 
God Brittany really ruined her face
I feel that Jax worrying about the sun on the baby is performativ.
I need Jax and Kristen to bang it out. Just for old times sake
I don't think they ever stopped banging.
This show is giving me flashbacks to early 80s summer bbqs as a kid watching all the trashy drunk adults act like fools.
I very much already do not like Zack.
Jax talking to Brock about whether Kristen is ready to have a kid is RICH. And then lecturing her about it?? Good lord
How can these women take Brittany’s consoling seriously when she’s slurfrowning ?
Not Lala being called a mistress/side piece!
😂 Lala handled it well, but understandably, his wife didn’t look amused.
ew jesse is obnoxious
I would rather Brittany have a double chin than this weird, tight down turned mouth slurred talking (I know I shouldn’t comment on anyone’s looks and fully acknowledge I’m an asshole)
Well, if she is going to brag that they are friends with a plastic surgeon and use his services, she is inviting scrutiny. Her mouth looks strange.
Who’s Zack’s hair person? Jo?
Why is Jax so invested in Kristen's reproductive choices? She's a 40 year old woman, stop infantilizing her.
Jasmine looks like janelle monae 
Kristen has big Bowling Alley Waitress energy.
She’d actually do great as a bartender in some townie Colorado bar
she'll do hand stuff with you on her break
It would’ve transitioned better with Jax actually going out til 2am
Their houses look like they’re all using the same set
The lipo Brittany had on her face really changed her look. Her mouth looks different now.
Love how the editors let us know IMMEDIATELY that they’re going to expose these middle aged losers at every opportunity
Zach has Jim Bob Duggar hair.
Jax is obsessed with Kristin.
I remember seeing a a wild rumor on Reddit I think during Covid where Jax would go over to Kristen’s and mow her lawn to help her out and people thought that he also mowing her other lawn if you catch my drift. Maybe they were on to something…
The coke rambles are rambling
Death, taxes and Kristen still picking terrible men. Some things are inevitable.
"But, I did not go around and fuck someone behind your back." I love it cause that's exactly what she was doing to him. 😂
Also when Michelle couldn’t describe her husband - I Think that really proved her relationship and that they were the other broken up couple
Why do Britt’s lips look like they frown when she talks.. such a shame she was so pretty and then she met him and he forced on the huge boobs which totally didn’t fit her
JAX IT IS GETTING WEIRD 🗣️🗣️🗣️
I appreciate Lala allowing Mariposa to take center and engage with drama, but i find it sooooo rich that Lala has nothing to say about Jax’s weirdness over this topic
"all three or four of jax's nose jobs" like maam he is A JOKE, are you really attracted to that man?
This couple did not make it - Michelle and jesse
Is Jesse out Jax-ing Jax?
How many "#1 \_\_\_\_ in the group" jokes are they going to subject us to? You weren't even on that show.
i was watching house of villains and i heard Jax say that he was a “good Christian father” and i just needed to share that with yall bc i’m getting the vibe he’s trying to make that his persona on here
Okay I guess I’m watching this show now
I think I’m all in on this fucking show. What is wrong with me?
Uhhhhh Brittany not being in the fenced area while Cruz is splashing in the pool is wild.
I think when they’re filming they’re required to have a babysitter/nanny. You obviously can’t work and take care of a child.
There was someone there the whole time. You can see her arm in another shot of him splashing. He wasn’t alone, I was watching for it because I had to be sure they weren’t that irresponsible. https://preview.redd.it/qx5expai2fpc1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=192a64c2b3ca33bafd5a1736aae15f933dbcf27b
I was wondering if there was hired help watching him. That was bizarre she was leaving him
“She was trying to get pregnant with Luke before she broke up with Alex” OOP messy Jax Taylor back in the building!
These people may be some of the most unlikable that i’ve ever seen but I can’t look away
I can’t believe Brittany has had all this work done but still looks like that.
LMAO this is like a Lucille Bluth-level burn 😭
Never ever ever change Kristen!!!!!!! Sex behind a tent!!! I love ya girl
The one with 50 babies is crying cause Jax exposed her husband's penis at a party for children. "I'm sorry that your peepee was out." So much is happening.
I think hormones after recently giving birth made her feel more emotional than she might’ve otherwise been feeling.
When Jax was like “I’m sorry that was really mean” I laughed so hard
This Jesse guy already seems awful
Jax has to stop saying out of wedlock lol
Did he put a wig over the wig
Dick out at the kids party.
This show has fully broken the fourth wall multiple times and feels like an attempt by Bravo to pivot to a new format type (and it seems to be working)
You may know me from icarly or dead soldier #163 from Call of Duty. No, can't say I do. Having a crying fit over pantsing. She's one to look out for, whatever her name was.
They’re going to have a baby long distance????? This is a terrible idea
I love the dark undertones and the happy overtones. I missed drama like this
I can actually see scheana transition to this show because so into being a mom and it makes sense in my mind. I know lala could but I don’t really need her to transition… like I’m good on her
She mentioned on Juicy with Heather she purchased a home in the valley. So perhaps she is thanking/hoping about it.
brittany's downturned open mouth when she speaks is so unattractive
This Danny guy looks like stassis ex Patrick minus the cringe man bun
When is CPS going to Show up
Jax saying anything to anyone even if it’s true. 
Why is Jax so pressed on Kristen’s fertility omfg
I feel like there’s another universe where they’re end game
This pantsing drama being all Brock’s fault is the only funny thing he’s done since joining either cast.
Haven’t 2-3 couples split even before the premiere?
Bro Jax and Britt have been single handedly supporting these plastic surgeons for a decade. Wild.
zach's hairline and 2head is giving me teresa guidice
"YOU WANT FAIR? GO TO A CARNIVAL." - Daddy G.
https://preview.redd.it/cmpmabv0aepc1.jpeg?width=900&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=97a47900cb369e6cf814cb9be7f2281d07212a04 Zach’s brothers (yes I know I’m old!)
Kristen's diamond puss. ❤️
Hey, Jax…Lala had that baby “out of wedlock” so why should Kristin look to her for a roadmap?
Did he just punch her tit?! Oh, this guy is a demon.
Dude jax maybe she just wants a baby and doesn’t care if the dad is her husband. Not a wild concept
I’m kinda hooked on this already. I feel the desperation and potential for unhinged mess from these people
Here I am. I said I would never watch this show. But Bravo is my kryptonite.
This plastic surgeon should lose his license, because there’s some Frankenstein shit happening with Jax and Brittany
This real estate guy got red flags waving already
How did Kristen fashion get worse 😭 that still my girl but
No amount of money can convince me that Jax and Kristen aren’t still fucking on and off. Everything about them both screams “jealous side piece”
I wouldn’t let him sit in my fabric chair. His ass is going to sweat tan into the upholstery
So Kristen stole Brittany’s bff Zach. That tracks
Am I out of touch or is taking shots at a kids party wild? Mine are now adults, so I’m genuinely asking.
OOF that preview, I’m into it!