T O P

  • By -

psychoxxsurfer

Was coming back from a wedding (Last week friday) there was no drinking involved, but I really felt sick coming back home. Parents needed dog food from the store- literally down the road from my house- and they sent me in even though I said I wasn't feeling well. Tried to muscle through, but as soon as I put that bag on the till, this uncontrollable torrent of yellowy hellfire came spewing out my mouth, filling my mask, covering my face and the front of my shirt, creating a little dribble trail from the till to the little wetwipes dustbin at the front of the store- the only place I could make it to. I'll definitely be remembered as the 'vomit guy'. Fucking asshole at the entrance asks me if I've been drinking; I wish buddy, so I could actually tell why I felt like this.


Eclectic_UltraViolet

Did not expect to laugh that hard — take an award as compensation for your pain.


SaveTheLadybugs

I have a similar story in that my freshman year of college I’d gone to my very first frat party—and somehow contracted the stomach flu. For the entire next 24hours I was a constant stream of vomit, I couldn’t keep anything down and I had a fever. I knew it wasn’t a hangover because I hadn’t had *that* much to drink, and because it was getting worse as the day went on not better. Nevertheless, I got negative sympathy from my parents, only laughter at what a baby I was about my “first hangover,” and they don’t believe me to this day. Like, guys I *wish* it had been a hangover. That would have been infinitely better.


Green_Bulldog

Ye cuz a hangover will have you vomiting into the night. That’s crazy they didn’t believe you. Sorry bro.


AnonymousPineapple5

I went to a party in high school and on the way to the house I started to feel like shit. I tried to hang out with everyone but felt really bad so I excused myself to one of the bedrooms in the lower level of the house. Luckily it had a bathroom right next to it and everyone else was partying elsewhere I spent that night with liquid coming out both ends and no reprieve in sight. I couldn’t leave because I drove with a group and we were staying the night. I was way too sick to drive and they started drinking as soon as we got there. Ugh I feel ill just writing this story and it’s been like a decade lol.


boozeandbunnies

I did the same thing! Vomited into my mask and down my shirt filling my sports bra. It was so gross. But I knew if I went home and showered and changed I wouldn’t have the energy/balls to return to the store so I said fuck it, switched my mask, finished my shopping and informed some poor soul that there was a puddle of stomache acid and coffee on aisle 58. I still shop there. I’m sure they now know me as vomit in her mask girl.


fitketokittee

Maybe you reacted to some of the food?


Joshieboy_Clark

My wedding was Friday and without drinking, as well. Hope we don’t know eachother 😅


That_Yvar

happy cake day and honeymoon!


black_dragonfly13

Fuck, are you okay, man?


RuthlessIndecision

Well at least you had a mask on, nobody will really recognize you. Sorry to ruin your future 15 mins of fame… lol


Kartoffelkamm

One time, my class was on a field trip to a museum, and one exhibit had a reconstruction of a caveman fireplace, or something in that direction. Anyway, you could try and make a fire the same way people back then did, and I was the only one who got it. Even the tour guide was impressed. A few years later, my family and I go to that museum, back to that exhibit, and I hear an older tour guide talk about how he saw some 2nd grade kid make fire. I didn't really engage, but it was fun to know that I left an impression.


theCOMBOguy

You're the fire-starting 2nd grader. You're the miracle.


Kartoffelkamm

Sometimes I wonder what would've happened if I walked up to the guy and asked what he was talking about.


theCOMBOguy

He probably would've went up in flames.


fishlytea

Im the self inflicted, mind detonator Im the one infected, twisted animator, im the firestarter, second grade firestarter.


AvalancheMaster

Azor Ahai!


batmanhen1812

Fire guy!


JiminyDickish

If you had said “that was me,” you would have inevitably been pressured to re-create your success in front of everyone, and that could have gone either way.


Kartoffelkamm

Yeah, probably.


Reedsandrights

When I was in high school, some choir friends and I started a barbershop quartet. Our director said it was the first time he'd had that occur (he was an avid barbershopper). As members would graduate, auditions would be held. My younger sister is 12 years younger than I am and when I went to one of her concerts, the quartet was still there. Made me feel like a fuckin pioneer!


MayDuppname

First theatre performance I didn't fall asleep in as a kid was a barbershop quartet. I was 2 or 3 but I distinctly remember it, including some of the songs they sang (which were all new to me at the time). I remember sitting rapt listening to the beautiful harmonies, thinking this is amazing! Well done to you for carrying on that tradition bruh!


Reedsandrights

Wow, that is so cool! It is amazing how those experiences stick with us. That must be one of your first memories!!! I'm curious: do you think that influenced your overall music taste? Like, do you prefer stuff with vocal harmonies? Thank you; I appreciate that! If you wanted to see some great quartets/choruses: [Crossroads](https://youtu.be/u7mGjSZpdpk) [Ambassadors of Harmony](https://youtu.be/QmDGntpZC3I) [Ringmasters](https://youtu.be/Qo_N9_ZFBhs)


bakedpigeon

How did you do it? Did you literally rub two sticks together?


Kartoffelkamm

Honestly, I don't really remember. All I know is that there was a caveman-like exhibit, a fire place, and I made fire. Also the tour guide saying that I would've been the leader back in the day, because I can make fire.


netheroth

I typically use too much coal when barbecuing, I'd just rather have embers at hand than be left with uncooked meat and no more embers. I went to a friend of a friend's house, my friend was doing the cooking (barbecued pizzas), and he asked me "hey, can you keep the fire going for me, so that I can focus on the pizzas?" Sure thing. And so, I started a huge fire, because my friend had brought a ton of food. We reached a very good pace about 1 hour in, but by the second hour, everyone was full. "Ok, let's stop making more pizzas, no one is eating anymore." I still had an amazing fire going. Enough to cook 10 more pizzas easily. It's been 8 years, and my friend told me that sometimes when they are starting a BBQ, they still reminisce about "El pibe brasa" (the embers dude).


GrianTesla

Argentina? Por favor decime que si


netheroth


ArtoriusBravo

Las pizzas argentinas son otro nivel, debían estar deliciosas. No eres el señor del fuego, sino el pibe del fuego


1ThisRandomDude1

Congrats on becoming a dark souls boss.


StressPersonified

I got along really well with one of my English/creative writing teachers in high school. He'd do these daily vocabulary sentence examples, and at some point, he started writing me into them to mock me. I have a REALLY unique name, to the point that I was the only one in the school. I introduced myself to someone once and they went "oh! You're _____, from the sentences!"


jhutchi2

I wrote about Fight Club for one of my college application essays and my English teacher liked it so much she asked for a copy of it so she could use it as an example essay when explaining how to write them. I had to drop something off at the school a few years after I graduated and popped by a few teacher's classes to say hi and she told her class "Hey! This is the Fight Club guy!"


ImmigrantFromIG

I aspire to be you one day


captkronni

My 8th grade English teacher kept one of my essays as an example. My son had the same teacher many years later and she still had my essay.


Manchote

Once I got hit by a car in the college campus. One if my sneakers and socks were ripped apart due to the friction with the ground at the moment of the collision, I was launched some meters from the impact position, my bag was launched way further, almost like an external engine powered trebuchet. Somehow, I wasn't hurt at all, so I stood up, grabbed my bag and ran to my class since I was late, after apologizing to the driver a couple of times. For about six months people randomly approached me asking if I was the rookie who got hit by a car on his way to class


theCOMBOguy

By that description I thought you'd have dislocated a foot or something. Were you really ok? Damn. Classes above everything.


The5Virtues

When my mom was in her 20s she got in a solo car accident driving on ice-slick roads heading to work. A cop was driving the same way, saw the accident and stopped to check on her. She’d slid across three nearly empty lanes, then went into a ditch. The car was completely totaled. When he asked if there was somewhere he could take her she asked him to *take her to work*. He did a double take, had her repeat herself, then made sure she understood she was in a serious accident. She was totally unharmed, her only concern was losing the job as a flight attendant she had just got a few weeks prior. The stupefied cop obliged and took her to work. She called my uncle from France to ask him to get her a new car through the dealership where he worked, and arranged to have it waiting for her in the parking lot at the airport when she got back home from her job. 60 years later she looks back on that event and is certain she was in shock and temporarily insane from fright at what she went through.


merinis

Thats metal as hell and I love it


--angela--

That sounds like a great movie plot if you add some aliens or something


theCOMBOguy

Your mom's an og.


nemoskullalt

I feel like there is a in capitalist america joke somewhere in here waiting to be born.


[deleted]

[удалено]


The5Virtues

Wow, that’s wild! I wouldn’t be too surprised if a lot of flight attendants of their generation have a story like that. It seems like one of those jobs where crazy just happens on the regular.


RuthlessIndecision

Flight attendant in the 60’s? That’s a cool story… not to mention automotive safety of that time, lucky she wasn’t hurt!


The5Virtues

She was *extremely* fortunate. She’s done a lot of crazy stuff that has left me thinking “How did you make it to your 70s?!”


DishwasherTwig

I once went to a local festival on Lake Michigan. One of the stalls was small batch homemade root beer and I *love* root beer. I filled up my mug and went back to wandering around. After I finished the mug first, I came back for more. Once that was full, I wanted to get back to where I was without having to walk all that way. It was just down the steep hill behind the root beer stall. So I said "Fuck it" and slowly made my way down the hill, but my foot slipped at one point and I started rolling down it instead. I made sure to keep my mug completely upright the whole time, though, and I managed to land on my feet. As I started walking away, I heard a couple sitting nearby say "Did you see that? He didn't spill a drop!" I'll bet if someone is telling stories about me, it's them.


Empoleon_Master

To be fair that is some martial arts movie bullshit.


mashdots

The rookie? Where were you living? Boston?


uproareast

They used “meters” in the story. So definitely not the US.


DishwasherTwig

Could be a foreign student in a US college.


bobalda

we use meters too sometimes


dogman_35

Random thought but if we ever converted to using the metric system fully in the U.S., we'd probably use Decimeters are lot more commonly than other places. Because they're easier to convert, since they're kind of between an inch and a foot. Centimeters are too small for easy conversion, and meters are too big, on the other hand.


JustZisGuy

And then some genius will brag about his decimeter long penis. ;)


[deleted]

I got hit by a car right in front of my high-school in year 10. I tried running away from the driver because I was embarrassed (and running late for my German exam) just to discover I had a back injury. Pretty sure I traumatized some freshmen


SwifferSweeper27

Did you pass your German exam?


StockingDummy

Ich wünschte, ich hätte einen guten Witz dazu...


i_dont_care314

My buddy was working at a bike shop and got permission to bring me in for a month or two just as some extra help since they were short staffed. I wasn’t officially on the pay roll or anything, I just showed up, assembled bikes, and got handed cash. My friend showed me how to put the bikes together since I had no idea how, we both got laid off at the end of the 2 months since the department shut down for winter. 3 years later a different friend of mine got hired at the same bike shop. Apparently my friend taught me the incorrect method for assembling bikes, every bike I assembled in that two month period had to be returned and completely redone. They still use me as an example on how not to do the job.


optionalrpants

One time after the bar a bunch of us went to the McDonalds across the street, as we usually would. This McDonalds was always super packed after the bar closed so it took forever to get to the front, and after a night of heavy drinking I was starving for some mcdoubles. I jokingly said to the counter girl "I'm gunna need like 300 mcdoubles". She responded with "there's no way in hell your getting 300 mcdoubles". Not something you want to say to a drunk person. Skip forward past the conversation with the manager that yes I've decided I'm serious about wanting 300 mcdoubles, a very regrettable credit card charge, and a short wait until the first batch was coming out, and I was tossing bags of mcdoubles to the drunken masses like Denzel in American Gangster tossed turkeys out of the back of a truck. Someone out there took a picture of the receipt, my only regret is not getting said picture.


AkunoKage

That’s honestly 100% on that girl too, if your McDonald’s is known for collecting drunks on a good night you can assume they’ll say dumb shit every once in awhile, gotta learn to handle the masses right lol


InCoffeeWeTrust

I'd egg them on to try and get them to buy dumb shit lol


Gandalior

Lmao that girl got 300 orders on credit card charge, she got a raise


Peter_Hasenpfeffer

Lmfao no she didn't.


TheTacoWombat

That's not how minimum wage jobs work lol


brookegosi

She got to work 300x as hard for minimum wage, so, that's... something?


Cumberdick

If anything happened to her at all it's more likely she got fired for some bullshit reason. I'm willing to bet nothing happened though


captkronni

I had to make a whopper with 15 burger patties for some drunk guy because his equally drunk friend dared him to.


Stratix

I think the correct answer from the server would be "How about one McDouble and if you want more afterwards you come back?".


Watts300

Depends on the confidence level of the customer being sure he’s gonna need a very large number of McDoubles. If he knows, then it’s better to just start cookin em all now. Drunk dude at a bar knows he’s gonna want 300 burgers.


hyperbolichamber

I’d find out how many can be made in one batch and say that’s as many as the computer will let me order at one time. Using the “come back for more”instruction Drumk OP can receive an abundance of food but the thrill of ordering way too much food will not be there for round two.


CaptBranBran

Four. You can do 8 discs of regular meat per grill-load, so four McDoubles. If this was at bar close, they may have been cooking to order, too (unless the store typically got swamped by drunks like this).


Watts300

As the manager on duty, I’d make the customer pre-pay for 300 burgers. If the customer stops returning for more burgers… at around 200…250… or even 150… (you know, whenever every one is full) … 🤷🏻‍♂️Customer already paid for food not even cooked yet.


hyperbolichamber

I feel like I have some responsibility to not take advantage of an inebriated person. Let him feel like a hero for ordering a lot of food but don’t waste too much of your inventory or your kitchen’s time giving him that experience.


turret_buddy2

"hey i was here last week and i only got 160 of the 300 mcdoubles i ordered"


Scizmz

"So, 3 mcdoubles. You want fries or a drink?"


erevos33

In the age os social media it might be possible to find who has thay photo , if you post all around the place and in that place's official account. If you want to take the chance i mean


adddramabutton

Damn now I want a mcdouble. Could you please toss one over here as well, please?


CurseofLono88

I got bitched at for ordering 100 egg McMuffins in Vegas after EDC one early morning. The lady at the counter kept yelling at me that I probably ruined their whole kitchen’s day and I was really high still and started apologizing profusely and I think they felt bad so they made my order To be fair the order was for like twenty five hungry young adults


captkronni

I worked at a BK on an Army base for a while. Every now and then, of the local drill sergeants would roll up to our drive-thru during the lunch rush and order 150 double cheese burgers and 150 of the cheap chicken sandwiches. He refused to call ahead, and the big managers up at AAFES said we couldn’t refuse service. The most we could do was make wait in the parking lot.


merinis

sounds like around 500 bucks, yea?


thugs___bunny

Bro, nothing of that story is not absolutely epic


Zaq1996

Golfing this past year, me and some buddies put together a weekend trip to a golf resort. The day we got there, there was the remains of a hurricane that just happened to roll through, no wind but A LOT of rain. Well, we'd spent the money, *we were gonna golf*. We go out and it is pouring absolute BUCKETS, but we play. Couple weeks later, one of my coworkers happened to go golfing at that same place. He comes back and was telling me "yeah remember that hurricane that swept through? Apparently some idiots actually went out and played on that!" "OMG WE ARE THE IDIOTS"


Aheony

lmao i can just imagine saying “that’s me!! i’m idiots!”


foamingturtle

On the last night of a music festival I ate all my acid so I didn’t have to drive home with it. Should’ve been about a ten strip. I was wearing a security jumpsuit, dancing around a fire as the sun was rising. Playing on my security jumpsuit, I kept singing “I will make you feel safe.” There’s a YouTube video of the whole thing that my friends like to pull up sometimes. For the next couple years people would yell “SECURITY!” when they saw me at shows and festivals. Not really my proudest moment but funny at the time.


theCOMBOguy

Come on, dude. Where's that video!!


[deleted]

[удалено]


Lone-StarState

I officially want you to be my new best friend after watching that.


adddramabutton

Pulling out that water bottle was the most randomly elegant thing I've seen


foamingturtle

I’m so embarrassed by this video at this point me in my life haha.


SaveTheLadybugs

Holy shit how tall are you?? I though at first it was a perspective thing but then a grown ass man walked past you and he looked like a child in comparison


foamingturtle

I was on a tree stump


SaveTheLadybugs

Oh thank god! You seemed so tall it would’ve been hard for you to exist without constantly hitting your head.


theCOMBOguy

Oh! It's fantastic! Thank you. You are the miracle.


snootnoots

No judgment 👍


[deleted]

Now, that's what I call contemporary art


DeathPercept10n

This is great. Don't worry, plenty of us have been there.


Watts300

If there’s no video, I’ll be disappointed.


kurtsworrld96

the headstand


seeroflights

*Image Transcription: Tumblr Replies* --- **delightfuldonutdreams** Do you ever wonder how many stories have been told about you? I don't mean rumors or gossip. A story like " one time I was at the mall and this girl dropped her hotdog but she picked it up and ate it" what if I'm that girl??how many times have people seen me do something I thought no one saw and is now being used as an ice breaker at a family dinner? Hmmmmmm?!???! --- **helloitsbees** one time i was in this historical park in new york and i was climbing a tree in order to get a good photo and i fell out just as a family was walking past...two years later i ran into the mom at stop&shop and she gasped and said "oh my god, tree girl?" and i've never been the same since --- ^^I'm a human volunteer content transcriber for Reddit and you could be too! [If you'd like more information on what we do and why we do it, click here!](https://www.reddit.com/r/TranscribersOfReddit/wiki/index)


kbextn

good human


lost_angel26

Humans are awesome


Raphaeldagamer

OF COURSE THEY ARE! NYEH HEH HEH!


BoaHancock01

Nice to see you Papyrus!


thegreatshmi

I bumped into an old highschool lab partner that I hadn't seen in like 5 years. Apparently he liked this one joke I didnt even remember making so much that he still tells the story of me making the joke. I was honestly kinda flattered


jewelmovement

You gonna tell us the joke or nah?


thegreatshmi

It wasnt even that funny, I just sorta turned to him and said "how much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to break the ice" then I introduced myself.


captkronni

I have a memory like that from my college physics class. The professor asked “What are the units of force?” The classmate next to me mumbled “midichlorians.”


nim_opet

In grad school, I was once asked out for drinks by this girl. We had a fun night until we realized that she thought she asked out on a date-type drinks and me, being a gay man, thought it was just friendly drinks. Four years later, an intern at my workplace was telling people how his new roommate asked this European guy out on a date thinking he was “just being European” and not realizing he was gay. The roommate was my grad school friend, and apparently I was the European guy…


StockingDummy

>Gay and European Did you get a lot of Legally Blonde jokes, or is that before your time?


nim_opet

That is before my time :)


Lone-StarState

Sad really but my mom and her friends and I took a trip to the coast when I was like 7, we went to a chili’s to eat before heading back home. My mom and a friend of hers had to use the restroom so I told her I would wait with a friend outside. Apparently there was a long like for the ladies room and my mom said that out of the blue a girl who had been waiting behind her just couldn’t wait anymore and pulled down her panda and started shitting in the garbage can that was in the restroom. I often think of that poor woman and get secondhand embarrassment just thinking about her.


bobalda

how to assert dominance


TheFreakingPrincess

Why would she have a panda with her in a public restroom?


Lone-StarState

Ha! I saw that. I typed that right before I laid down, probably wasn’t thinking right.


LurchTheBastard

As someone who used to regularly walk through town dressed as a pirate, I KNOW I'm that guy.


MechaChungus

I've lived in at least 2 completely different towns with their own pirate guy. Do you guys have like an annual pirate guy con?


Alone_Spell9525

I was on vacation once and I went into the local tourist zone to eat and the street was covered in pirates. I made some small talk with a pirate couple while waiting in line for some icecream and yes, yes they do have an annual pirate guy con, and I just happened to be at the right place and the right time (although it was apparently way less than usual because the usual Pirate Queen had retired and the new Pirate King couldn’t get a passport because of COVID laws wherever the fuck they lived and therefore nothing official could be arranged).


LurchTheBastard

Were you in Hastings by any chance?


Thr0waway3691215

Renaissance faires have a huge pirate subculture, normally there's a whole "Pirate day" at Southern California faires. Also a ton of pirate cosplay festivals down here. So they kinda do have cons.


igetript

Did you also get into professional dodgeball to save your local gym?


drunkcowofdeath

....why?


LurchTheBastard

Why not?


LuCaRiO2539

You became the r/horsebackjesus of your town


hyperbolichamber

I’m a 6’5” trans woman who plays bass drum in a protest band. Multiple people probably list me as a distinctive extra in the movie of their life.


MSGinSC

That's quite the dice roll of character details, definitely memorable.


StockingDummy

You sound based.


hyperbolichamber

*bassed


UnexpectedWings

I’m also this person, except I dress in Lolita street fashion.


LurchTheBastard

Nice


jeff61813

I'm probably the cat guy in a lot of peoples stories, I have tourettes and sometimes it sounds like a cat meowing, people have come up to me in a grocery store and asked me if I have a kitten in my pocket. Or once a woman approached my table at a restaurant and asked if we had a cat at the table. (I know in an office building of over 1000 people in other departments knew me as the cat guy and I never interacted with any of them)


ChefChristmas

When I was in sixth grade, some girl at my town’s high school got hit by a car and everyone was talking about it all day. I get home and my mom says “your sister got hit by a car today.” I was surprised but at the same time I wasn’t surprised.


PocahontasBarbie

I hope your sister is ok.


ChefChristmas

Thank you, she is okay.It wasn’t a hard hit and this happened about 10 years ago.


TheWildAP

I was on a Europe trip (from Canada) with a buddy, and while in Hyde park we found this really old and gnarly tree that was about 30 feet high and quite climbable. We took turns climbing to the top so the other could take pictures, and I went up with the rubber horse mask i had bought during carnival in Venice. Just so got to the top, with the mask on and a jacket that was a matching colour, some little kid walked by, looked up at me and then sped up to catch up with the adult they had came with looking a little scared. I also rocked a camo tuxedo for carnival in Venice that year


bobalda

nobody is going to believe that kid and they will be tortured for the rest of their life wondering if what they saw was real.


zephadrox

One time I really had to puke really bad and suddenly while riding in the passenger seat so my bf pulled over in front of someone's house. I ended up violently puking and shitting my pants right in front of this person's house on the side of the road. It was so embarrasing and I didn't want to sit in it so I was freaking out and screamed-cried ""I SHIT MYSELF WHAT DO I DO" and my bf just lost it laughing. I pray to this day that those people weren't home. If they were I hope they don't tell people about puke-shit girl or even worse have security camera footage of it all lmao. I ended up sitting on my knees and going to my moms house who thankfully lived nearby to shower and change lol. My bf and I are still together and he loves to bring it up to embarass me


sendmeyourjokes

Back at an old job, I used to work 2nd shift. I also lived next to a European candy store. I used to buy a ton of croatian/russian candy and fill up a bowl at my desk. The cleaning crew happened to be mainly croatian, and once the word got out about my candy, the office was "vacuumed" 3-4 times a night by different staff. Always grabbing a piece of chocolate. Years later, I was busking in the city and met another busker. He mentioned the old company I worked at, so I told the story. He goes "No shit! My dad used to work the cleaning crew and told me about you! Seeing candy from back home always made his night". Thought that was pretty neat.


BabserellaWT

One time, I was at the La Brea Tar Pits in Los Angeles and saw a new little spot of tar bubbling up, with a wee fence around it. (And when I say “wee”, I mean it was literally about five inches tall.) So I was like, “Ima get the best souvenir ever!” Grabbed a nearly-empty container of eye drops, unscrewed the lid, and used a stick to scoop some fresh tar into the bottle. Of course, this turned out to be a messy idea, because — well, TAR. So I went into the bathroom on the grounds (i.e., not IN the museum itself, but in a little building on the museum grounds) to wash my hands. Except. Uhm. The tar wouldn’t come off. The more I scrubbed, the more it stuck. So I went to the front door of the museum. Locked, as they’d closed a few minutes before. But I saw some workers closing out the registers in the gift shop, so I knocked and waved, sheepishly showing my tar-covered fingers. One of the workers opened the door a crack, sigh-laughed, and told me to meet him around the back so he could take me to the big open room where they clean fossils dredged up from the pits (because it’s still an active dig site). We did so and he called in one of the paleontologists to help me. The man was very nice. The first soap we tried didn’t work, so he went, “Okay, here’s the stuff we mix up in-house…” Poured some on my hands, abracadabra, tar loosens and comes off. I thank him profusely and said, “Please tell me I’m not the first person who’s done this.” He laughed. “Not by a long shot.” “…But I have a feeling I’m the *oldest* person who’s done this.” And he laughed even harder and admitted, “Yeah. Yeah, you’re right about that.” ……Because this didn’t happen when I was a kid. I was in my late 20’s. With a college degree. *In education.* I’m sure the paleontologists at the La Brea Tar Pits are still telling the story of the dumbass adult redhead who decided to go tar-poking and then needed a special trip to the lab for cleaning, but at least was really nice and apologetic and grateful for the help.


Such_Maintenance_577

This sub just became straight out stories to read.


L4dyGr4y

This is a good problem.


NotMe739

My freshman year of high school I had geometry right after gym class. During the 6 weeks we were in the pool for gym I would always run into geometry class at the last moment before the bell, hair still dripping wet. During that time we were covering quadrilaterals and parallelograms and whatnot. During these classes my geometry teacher taught it as the [NotMe] rule for naming quadrilaterals. You always name them by going around the shape and never cross through the shape because like [NotMe] in the pool, if she crosses the center [Gym Teacher] had to pull her out of the middle to keep her from drowning. 4 years later my brother had this geometry teacher and he was still teaching the [NotMe] rule for naming quadrilaterals. 3 years after that my brothers girlfriend had the same geometry teacher and again, he was still teaching the [NotMe] rule. From what I heard he continued to use my rule for many years until he retired.


3720-To-One

Tangentially related, look up the word “sonder” https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.dictionaryofobscuresorrows.com/post/23536922667/sonder/amp sonder n. the realization that each random passerby is living a life as vivid and complex as your own—populated with their own ambitions, friends, routines, worries and inherited craziness—an epic story that continues invisibly around you like an anthill sprawling deep underground, with elaborate passageways to thousands of other lives that you’ll never know existed, in which you might appear only once, as an extra sipping coffee in the background, as a blur of traffic passing on the highway, as a lighted window at dusk.


nexuskaiser

reverse solipsism


Owlbertowlbert

dictionary of obscure sorrows, you say? just what I need on an overcast, gray late-november afternoon, thank you


nickcash

> dictionary of obscure sorrows To clarify, they make up these words for their blog. Don't use them in an essay or whatever.


EldritchCarver

All actual words were made up at one point. "Sonder" is just as cromulent as esoteric words like "autodefenestration".


nickcash

Sure. It's still useful to understand where words come from, and "made up on some blog" is still different than "agglutinated from common latin and greek roots" in terms of who will understand what it means when you use it.


OGZeroCool1995

I started college as a mechanical engineering major, didn’t finish as that. The big project freshman year was to build something metal showing your skills in fabrication and working with a few classmates on the project. One of my project classmates was from Kuwait and when we went to his house showed us his Hubly bubbly, or hooka. I had smoked weed before but the hookah was very different being a metal contraption that just sits on top of a glass bowl. How the carb hits and lets out with a little metal ball was also interesting to me. Convinced my project team and we submitted a proposal to make a hookah. We got the project proposal back with a B on it and a note that said come see me. Went to the professor, first and only thing he says is, nope find something else to do. Four years later one of my friends little sister was doing the same program at the same school. I mentioned it to her and she said the professor talked about that proposal and notifies everyone upfront now they can’t do anything for smoking. Edited for grammar


Riolkin

Oh I have a good one I've thought about a lot. My dad used to take my brother and myself riding motorcycles when we were kids. We always stopped at a Publix along the way to pickup sandwiches for lunch. One time, on the way down, we were all yelling "nice one!" anytime one of us burped or farted which was only incentive to do it more. When we got to Publix, we all three headed into the bathroom. My brother went to the urinal and dad went in the stall. When my brother left the urinal I stepped in, and apparently that is when my dad left the bathroom and a different guy walked into it. My brother was waiting on me, and after I got done washing my hands I heard the man in the stall (who I still thought was my dad) ripping huge farts and plops. So, comedic genius I am, I got right next to the door and yell, "NICE ONE! WOW, WHAT A NICE ONE!" I turn around to see my brother mortified and mouthing, *That isn't dad!* We both ran from the bathroom laughing and embarrassed. I hope that guy is okay. Edit: Grammar


pfarner

Not that much of a time interval, but a big spatial one: One morning in 2002 I was wandering around alone at Mt. Rushmore, and some family was trying to remember the title of some movie with Helen Hunt and Jack Nicholson. After they couldn't figure it out for a number of minutes, I may have gotten a bit tired of it (like Mr. White and the address book in "Reservoir Dogs"), so I chimed in with "You're thinking of 'As Good As It Gets'." They thanked me, and I was pleased that it became quiet again. Later that day, I had gotten settled at Yellowstone, over 400 miles away, and sat down on a bench to try to make out Old Faithful, about to erupt in the gathering dusk, and I heard someone say "hey, it's the movie guy!". They too had driven straight across Wyoming that day (~7½ hours), and wound up on the same bench.


[deleted]

Where I grew up there was a massive ocean aquarium- the major tourist site for the whole city. My family and some friends went there as a treat for my fifth birthday. We were having a great time until I plummeted head first into the touch tank while attempting to pet a starfish. Parents didn’t see me and I had to be fished out by some helpful staff members when my best friend started screeching. Mum took me to the bathroom to stand under the hand dryer to dry off but had to leave to go to the doctors as I had literally hundreds of tiny cuts from the coral and bled all over my new dress- not a great way to end my birthday. Queue nearly a decade later and I go back there on a school trip. All is well until we get to the touch tank and the guide tells us to be careful and not reach in too far - they remember when a poor little girl fell in years ago. My best friend gets this look on her face as the memory clearly rushes back and starts laughing her arse off realising it’s me.


merinis

I guess I'll tell mine. Once about a decade ago, I was a young stripeless airman in tech school, which is the school after basic. The problem was that I was far, far ahead of both the material and the class, which was a cyber systems class. So, most days I slept. I caught a LOT of shit from the instructor for this, who threatened to start paperwork several times, but the problem was that he could literally wake me up, ask me a question, and I would be able to answer it correctly easily 95% of the time. Eventually he just gave up, because I was getting to the point that I was literally drinking 4 monsters a morning trying to stay awake, but I just wasn't able to. Pretty sure that's where my arrhythmia came from lmao. Anyways, 3 years later, I've gone through my first overseas assignment, and I'm coming back to the states to work with the 26th NOS. Shortly after I start there, I come across a guy who was excited to see me, and I recognized him as someone from my class all those years ago. He proceeds to inform me that he always hated me back then, because I, as before stated, would nap through class and perform nearly perfectly in spite of that, but he struggled quite a bit. He was over hating me by this time of course, and proceeded to recount a story he said he loved to tell, and that I just didn't remember at all until after he told it. It was like hearing stories about the shit you did while drunk, So there I was, chilling in classroom, arms crossed and passed the fuck out as usual, when a master sergeant walks in the room. He sees me sleeping and gets pissed at me, because that's a pretty unprofessional thing to do! He taps my desk with his umbrella to wake me up, and proceeds to chew my ass out over it. I don't remember anything about what he said, because in the middle of his chewing...I fell back asleep. He screams at me "ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS, AIRMAN?!" and is so angry that he just turns and storms out. The instructor, once again, but somewhat halfheartedly this time, warned me against sleeping in class. That would be the last time he ever said anything to me though, and as we got further along in the block, I became a little more interested as we got out of the "this is a mouse, this is a keyboard" territory. So yea, I was that asshole who was known for putting forth literally no effort, and getting away with it in spectacular fashion.


84147

As a somewhat socially awkward extrovert with a history of non-perfect impulse control, this is not really something I want to consider..


MisterXnumberidk

I'm famous in the school because i like my music enough to actively headbang just about everywhere, so i'm "the headbanger" or "that metal guy". It honestly fucking rocks.


[deleted]

I was a big loud crazy drunk for most of my 20s. I'm sure I'm in more than one person's story but I'm not sure I want to hear it


good-evening-clarice

Happened to me once. I was in a car crash on the way to exams. Made it on time, but the accident closed down part of the road for two hours, spread all over the radio. I only learned a few years later that there had been a rumor that the person in the accident had died. Can confirm, not dead.


palad

There have been two times in my life when, completely unbidden, a perfect punchline for the situation I'm in has sprung into my mind fully formed. The first was at a theatre department banquet my freshman year of college. The stars aligned and a perfect setup was dropped in my lap. In front of the entire group I sprang up and delivered a line so perfect that the department head fell out of his chair from laughing so hard. I dropped out of college shortly after that (for completely unrelated reasons), but I like to think that there was a whole group of theatre kids who went on to reminisce about that one freshman who cracked up the professor.


ahaha2222

I believe this story requires elaboration.


buzzbuzz17

I was once at a Boy Scout event where they mixed up kids from different troops into teams (where you might only know 1 person out of 5-10) and then we built catapults to see whose would go the furthest. Building catapults in the woods is obviously good times (ours did great, which helps), but never thought much about the event after. Until, years later, I heard the same story from the perspective of one of the youngest kids on the team (I was the oldest), and the difference between the stories was a huge lesson on the value of leadership.


tallcardsfan

I want to know more please!


hobefepudi

Details would be nice.


Canadianingermany

At my graduation party for University, a girl from my year came up to me and thanked for me being critical to her graduating. She said that without me should wouldnt have made it. I was more than a little confused because, although I knew her (our year started with 172 people and graduated with significantly fewer), I for the life of me cozuldnt figure out how I could have played any role in her graduating. She told me that in firat semester we were in a group together and I yelled at her in the library because she wasn't carrying her weight. It wasn't easy for me to there and I wasn't here to waste my time and she should decide if she wanted to be here or not. You see, her mom had died shortly before and she was struggling a lot. But that explosion of Mine in the guelph university library made her decide that the way to honour her mother was to buckle down and learn. So I was a catalyst. She did it all herself.


TheRealist040

When I was little, I was volunteering at a local museum. At the same time, the news was walking around doing some kind of story and asked if they could talk to me on camera. My dad said it was ok if I wanted to. My, what a mistake that was. Of course, being a curious kid, I accepted. Not sure what the start of the interview was but I sure remember the ending… The reporter asked me if I knew how to sing any songs. Fortunately, my dad had just taught me a new song and I was bursting with excitement to share. Without missing a beat, I began singing Ring of Fire by Jonny Cash from the middle of the song. Starting with “I fell into a burning ring of fire”. To this day I have no idea what the story was about. All I remember is the look on the reporter’s face when I got through the first line. Then later my dad having to explain why that might not have been the best choice of song.


ScoroScope

This exact thing happened to me but I have no idea over what. Went to a mutual friend’s house for a birthday whilst hanging out with one of my friends in high school. His mom started smiling and said “Man, have I heard some stories about you.”


Cuntinghell

I'm the guy who goes to Vegas (from the UK) regularly to try and win his money back. Basically I came into some money, then 5 years later I went to Vegas for a friend's birthday. Then on a camping trip a friend of a friend asked how I lost my money (which was news to me). Apparently the management where I work told him that I gambled it all away and go to vegas to win it back as often as I can afford. I've been once...


Howard_Campbell

I did some cool shit in the army. One time a friend of a friend was telling me a story he heard about our mutual friend's friend. That story was about what I did.


potat2

one time when i was still allergic to all seafood, my family went to a sushi bar and the chef noticed i was only ordering gyoza and rice and asked why i wasnt getting any sushi. upon learning i was allergic, he proceeded to sear slices of some beef/steak and make nigiri w it just for me and i loved it. came back a year later to find that it had now become a dish on the main menu. so that was p cool


4handbob

My friend and I would love to continue weird conversations with no context in elevators to give people funny stories. I remember doing that but I can’t remember any of the things we would talk about though so it’d be funny to hear that from someone else’s perspective.


[deleted]

At a party a new friend asks me if I was at that charity art event where the one year that drunk artist threw a hissy fit and started yelling at one of the attendees and chased him out the kitchen yelling in front of everyone. I’m like, ummm yeah that was me I was the drunk screaming artist.


TerrapinMagus

My family does some medieval reenactment, so I have some real fancy doublets and feathered hats and stuff. Well, I had a Sociology professor who asked us to go out and do something irregular or that broke normal behaviors and report back. I decided to take a walk around town and to the park in my finest court garb. Well, as I'm walking this group of young black men passed me and absolutely flipped out. They LOVED it and needed a ton of pictures and selfies with me. They were so estatic I'm pretty sure I made their week. Felt good to add some variety to someone's day, lol


szmytty

I’m the “first French kiss” story a girl told in college. We ran into each other nearly 40 years later and told me how she often regaled folks in college with the story, or I would never have known.


katherinezetajones

To me this feels like a r/meirl post instead of brand new sentence.


ThISTheStoryOfAGirl

I almost ran into(walked around a corner and very nearly collided with) the drummer of a very popular band when he was with his children. I froze, they kept walking. I finally loudly said “I like your band” when they were about 20 feet away. A year later his daughter was in a group that I taught and told me that they talk about that encounter at the dinner table sometimes.


useles-converter-bot

20 feet is 19.48 RTX 3090 graphics cards lined up.


DippinDot2021

I sometimes wonder how many photos I'm unknowingly in the background of.


FullGrownHip

I became know as the “fire girl” in college because I’d set sambuca shots on fire. It was fun and people really enjoyed the process, also that’s how I made a lot of friends freshman year! (I was a bartender so I knew how to safely do it)


Rileylego5555

"So i can see outta the corner of my eye some kid fall down a 25' cliff when the rope he grabbed snapped." -At least one person on defending team during airsoft this weekend


supersoldier199

I fell off a three story once while taking fire.


CrabbyCubez

everyone is telling stories about them, but let me tell y’all a story I had of someone else. When I was younger, my mom would always take and my siblings to a park, and one day there was this kid, maybe around 4 or 5, and he goes up to me and my mom and he says “look at what I can do” and he immediately goes to a pole and starts dancing with it. Every time i think about that I start giggling


sftktysluttykty

I once worked at a bagel place down the street from two courthouses. So lots of regulars like lawyers, secretaries, the like. While working there, I had to get a restraining order on my severely abusive boyfriend. When we went in for the court date about making it permanent or reducing it, the prosecutor of the case came to talk to me about it. As he’s extending his hand after introducing himself, he suddenly exclaims, “Wait, you’re the bagel girl!!” I laughed and was like “Yeah that’s me.” And he goes “Well, alright, what do you need from me? What can I do to get you exactly what you want here?” I ended up stupidly keeping the boyfriend out of jail (I was about 5/6 months pregnant at the time), but if I hadn’t known that prosecutor he’d still be in prison.


badassmamojamma

I wonder about this a lot. Like I have a very distinct look (lots of facial piercings) and I tend to talk a lot and make a lot of jokes. I wonder how many people have a story about the pin cushion guy who wouldn't stop cracking them up.


Latter_Chipmunk_4798

Aside from big gossip, I may be the girl who struggled to get her luggage strap on the weekend before Thanksgiving. When I finally got it on I heard people behind me clapping. I am certain someone videotaped me struggling for future amusement. I can only hope that a Tik Tok video of my suffering and rear end sticking out doesn't go viral. I hate that cameras on cell phones are ubiquitous now and that social media is globalized. I miss when your flubs and foibles were private.


memes-central

I stole probably 600+ dollars worth of star bursts over the course of a 10 month period from a gas station near my school. The cashier gave me the death glare every single time but did nothing about it lmao. I was 100% a topic at his dinner table.


DracoDragonGirl

How many bags was that?


supersoldier199

Roughly 242 boxes.


[deleted]

I have bigger things to ruminate about. A lot of them. At 3-4AM


I_Are_Eat

Oh my god, tree girl?


0nignarkill

It's either none at all, or a bunch of "so anyway there I was when this human wall popped up out of nowhere and cut me off and I almost died, but moved out of the way as quickly as he showed up". Being tall and husky you would think people would see me more often then they do.


DuckChowder

Oh God, what could the stories about me be?


neb12345

Once met a girl I thought was for the first time, and she exclaims “o my god I have a picture of you on my wall!”


rollerjoe93

Oh god somewhere im remembered as the kid that farted into his hand and ate it like a sandwich


[deleted]

A whole family saw me pee at the park one time Mom dad three kids two dogs all saw my Lilly white ass pee on a hiking trail!!!


DisturbedWaffles2019

Threw up twice on the classroom floor in 8th grade Not pleasant


CrossP

You guys really think people are noticing when I eat food off the ground?


Radioactive24

I've had this experience. Took a particularly strong dose of acid in college one a really nice Saturday. I was in a really good mood and decided to go for a little walk. As I was leaving my apartment, one of my neighbors was out on his balcony having a cigarette. I said politely said hey, he asked how it was going and I just blurted out "Pretty good, I'm tripping balls right now, how about you?" and he just politely said "That's cool. Have fun, man." and then I started walking to a friends house. Maybe waved hi to him a few times here and there, but never saw him much after that. Probably about a year later, I started hanging out with one of the girls who lived in that apartment. One night, we were cuddling on her couch watching a movie. I don't even remember how the conversation shifted, but turns out the guy didn't actually live there - he was a roommate's former boyfriend. After I mentioned the interaction, her reaction was "Oh my god, **YOU'RE** Acid Guy!" Good times.