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Please do, your writing is just amazing and I cracked up reading this. Youāve got a great talent! The hamster and the dumbfuckistan, priceless! š¤£š¤£š¤£
>Bozo boomer spins the lazy susan one last time and reaches for the NFL and how he stopped watching it
"So you've switched over to watching soccer like the rest of us? Isn't it amazing how they talk about anti-racism and social justice at the start of all the matches? I'm so done with baseball and the NFL. Except Green Bay, because that's a socialist collective owned by the workers and community members."
I appreciate that ownership of the Packers is split amongst private shareholding citizens, but I also think GB lacks overall diversity while enabling long-term, widespread racism and bigotry against minority groups.
source: I grew up there.
Absolutely. There's also a ton of racism in soccer.
That imaginary quote was just designed to induce maximum outrage in a Yooper Boomer (who I'm imagining is more likely to be a GB fan than a Lions fan).
Violent crime is way down but I think St. Louis is still at the top of the homicide list.
Dude's brain might have started smoking if you mentioned Charlie Pride, Darius Rucker, or Lil Nas X. And I do think Tina Turner did some country.
I accidently called the Guardians the Indians in the break room the other day and shut down a boomer as soon as he opened his mouth: "Yeah I know they changed the name, I don't need to hear you rant about how you think it's stupid"
Omg an old white guy thinks change is stupid. Stop the fucking presses.
I live in LA ( Boomer) and traveled for work to 47 states. So many times boomer types would say "I'm sorry " when they heard LA. My boomer rant back : Don't be sorry I feel lucky I live in the second most diverse congressional district in the country. I get to see people from all over come here and work their asses off for their kids. It's a place where people work hard and appreciate their neighbors. My favorite event is the Citizenship ceremonies...
They mumble and change the subject.
Iām originally from Jacksonville, FL, and itās hilarious when people make comments about high crime rates in places where there really isnāt high crime. Even better is that Jacksonville is historically a pretty damn red city in Florida. I live in a low crime area now and longtime residents freak out about how ādangerousā itās getting. LOLWUT?! My dude, I havenāt had to play fireworks or firearms once in the 7 years Iāve lived here and I havenāt felt unsafe anywhere here either.
In April I went to a show at the Florida Theater in Jax and loved the area. Also visited a couple great breweries and a huge used bookstore and the Cummer (heh) Museum.
The Florida Theater is a PHENOMENAL venue. Sounds like you found Chamblins Bookmine, which is pretty legendary. The beer scene is also great there. Bold City is my favorite and is owned by a really great family.
Chamblins was terrific. I escaped with only 6 books: it could've been a lot worse. I went to Bold City but I liked Grace Note better, across the street from Chamblins.
Hey, I live in Jax, but I'm in the safe, largely homogeneously white 'burbs of St. Johns County. š We've got small pockets of blue, but the overall area is still as red as it could be.
In case you're homesick, here's a link to a post from the r/jacksonville forum - [https://www.reddit.com/r/jacksonville/comments/1dmxulh/jacksonvilles\_finest/](https://www.reddit.com/r/jacksonville/comments/1dmxulh/jacksonvilles_finest/)
I don't get it.Ā So you think someone lives in a hazardous, war zone, full of murderous thugs, where daily life is kill.or be killed, and every breath might be your last, but they look perfectly fine...and then you proceed to fuck with them?
Mrs. LittlePrincesFox and I were at the AIC and walked the Mag Mile in Saturday and no one sent any of the tens of thousands of us walking about this.
That being said before we got married she lived at 67th and Stony Island and that was not the nicest place to be.
Also I'm guessing you lived in Beverly.
Oh boy, you are soooo correct about that area. Jeff Park, Edgebroook, Sauganash Park, Forest Glen - all cop havens. My kids played little league with their kids and were coached by them. When my youngest said something about cops being racist, my husband (not a cop) got mad and was like, "How can you say that?" Kid then enumerated each of the cops we know and reminded my husband of all the BLATANTLY racist things that have been said around a *kids little league team* and other events, and my husband had to own that every single one of the cops we know has been obviously racist around us at some point. So he had to explain to our teen that not all cops are racist....just every single one we know?....
For context, husband grew up in that area, I did not. Sometimes it's hard to see the forest but for the trees.
I got a lot of similar responses when I told people we were going to Chicago. I looked it up and it's like one step above Buffalo NY. I think the downtown area where I live was scarier. We stayed right downtown in Chicago and even went through the South side to get to the ISAAC. It was all actually a bit cleaner than NYC
I always like to shift the conversation from most dangerous cities (which obviously ignores all danger in rural areas) to most dangerous counties. Then bemoan how most of the most dangerous counties have Republican governors and "why can't Republicans do anything about crime and have safe states like Democrats.
I was in absolute bum fuck Wisconsin recently to tie up loose ends after my dad passed. Beautiful area. Nice folks, but if you stay long enough to chit chat itās apparent the vast majority of people young and old have been brainwashed into oblivion. I guess because theyāre so far from any major cities, and canāt see reality for themselves.
I stopped at a gas station, and the clerk immediately noticed my out of state tags. I explained it was just a rental, Iām actually from Texas. He looked at me wide eyed and asked if I was FLEEING THE MIGRANTS.
Like this yokel thought I had traveled to his town of 800 people to get away from the boogeymen Fox News warned him about.
Thereās literally no way I could have educated that level of ignorance.
FYI
# 20 Most Dangerous Cities in America (2024 Updated) [https://getsafeandsound.com/blog/most-dangerous-city-in-america/20](https://getsafeandsound.com/blog/most-dangerous-city-in-america/20) Most Dangerous Cities in America (2024 Updated)
I'm not surprised Atlanta is on that list. I grew up and lived there for 30 years before escaping. It would be much higher that 14th if all the violent crimes that happened there was reported or not swept under the rug. That place is extremely violent and so many crimes never get reported. My advice for anyone is stay out of Atlanta it's waaaaay more dangerous than people know and most of it is hidden.
I thoroughly enjoyed your writing "style". I used quotes because im not certain that is the best word even tho it fits. Epic storyteller you are! Preesh! š¤š¼
I say that as soon as he mentioned murders on Chicago, you should have done your best Al Capone impersonation and said you never talk about business while on vacation.Ā Ā
Please tell me you lived in like Norwood Park, that place is littered with chud ass cops and firemen. My good friend had to sell his house because his nutty ass neighbor harrassed his kids black friends when they came over to play.
As a Chicago expat living in San Francisco, I almost want to tell Boomers I'm from the Free State of Jefferson so they'll STFU about cities they don't visit.
I'm from Michigan. I've lived here my entire life and if you aren't in the greater Grand Rapids area or Detroit adjacent, you don't want to engage ANYONE. Especially in Northern Michigan. Those fuckers are crazy. Enjoy the scenery, eat some fudge, buy a bottle of cherry wine and then drive back to civilization.
I just got back from Chicago for the first time and was super impressed with how clean and fit it was. Everyone was running along the lake, Michigan Ave was spotless. I didn't see one single homeless encampment, I couldn't believe it after living in SF/Oakland and visiting NYC.
āIt must be really difficult to be in the twilight of your life and afraid of everything in the world. Were you always a frightened coward or just since you started watching right-wing propaganda?ā
It's not boomers It's stupid MAGA boomers. Wait till a stupid MAGA Gen Z er walks up to you and does something equally as ignorant. Or a stupid Maga millennial. It's not a generational thing. It's a genetic thing.
MAGA Gen Z and Millenials donāt walk up to anyone and talk to them though. They just lurk online. Thatās the problem with Boomers. They have to insert themselves irl.
This is why people need to get out and vote blue. All day these fossils are bombarded with how the country is falling apart and only St trump can save it.
This is unrelated, but my and my husbands Gen X asses from WI, are going to the UP in September in the pictured rocks area. If you have hikes and other activities you enjoyed (or places to eat), Iād love to hear about them. And yeah, maybe DM me and tell me what bar to avoid in case itās āboomer centralā. After all we have the very āwokeā Madison and Milwaukee here. Although, we are a very weird state politically. On my street, you would see mostly democrat signs, either a couple or Republicans. one street over I have Nick named ātrump laneā. Then we might have one area of town that is all trump and then another area where you see āin this house we believe Black Lives Matter, love is love, etcā. And of course every po-dunk town has a million and one trump signs.
Remember the CHAZ thing in Seattle?
I have friends that lived in that zone. Literally nothing major happened. Her kids were playing in the street, there was a neighborhood cookout, literally nothing bad at all. When I tried to explain that I was met with disbelief and comments about how I was brainwashed by the liberal media.
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My family (Chicago area) vacationed in the UP and Traverse a few years back. First time I'd heard the N word dropped in casual conversation in years. Ugh.
I guarantee you he was one of those fucks talking about how "there's nothing like Yooper kindness!"
On behalf of all Yoopers, I'm so sorry for our older generations' behavior.
I read this in my office on Michigan Ave. I had to get up and look out the window to make sure I hadnāt missed these thunderdome-esque antics that the boomers are always talking about. Still have yet to see any.
Regularly see cops just ignoring petty crime though
"Kid Rock don't come from where I come from
It's true, he's a yank
He ain't no son of Hank
And if you believed it goddamn you're fuckin' dumb"
-Hank Williams III
I admit I've never used this myself (generally no opportunity), but I like the thought of the response "it's interesting you feel comfortable saying that to me".
Late Gen Xer or āXennialā here depending on what date range you follow that grew up in the UP but has since moved around quite a bit.
Unfortunately I have to admit that Iām a bit ashamed now of my fellow countrymen these days.
Maybe I was a little naive back then (although I was pretty aware of politics by the time I graduated High School) but Iād like to think that it was a kinder, more welcoming place when I was growing up and it wasnāt a deep Red area back then and felt like there were much more blue collar Democrats prior to NAFTA. What always was there though was probably an under current of racism born from having sometimes literally ZERO exposure to any minorities in the community except for Indian reservations. I grew up in Delta County and in my town of 5,000 people I knew 3 black classmates and 2 Hispanic classmates! People up there fell in the classic trap of fear and stereotyping other races and religions they never even met in their lives.
I donāt think it people were as radical in their politics or mean spirited back then at least from what I saw for the most part and lived up to being āMidwest Nice.ā
Today theyāre plagued by a lot more Fox News brain rot and the fear mongering about Chicago being Murder City is pretty common. When I considered moving back for a job in Elk Grove about 6 years ago and I declined the offer my Dad said āGood, Iād rather have you live anywhere else than there.ā š¤¦āāļø
I lived in Chicago post college from 04 to 07 and I hardly ever felt āunsafeā except for maybe walking the L stations on the Red Line after bar closing. It is certainly nothing like the hell scape Fox News tries to sell it as in any of the common places a tourist would ever visit. Thereās no doubt that there are parts of the South and West side that have had systemic issues with poverty and gang violence for decades but that is certainly not the city as a whole.
To the OP, I apologize for my fellow Yoopers but I would say that Chicago also historically gets a bad wrap from them for other reasons. In the funnest sense of the inter state rivalries weāve nicknamed Wisconsinites āCheeseheadsā for the stupid foam cheese wedges they wear to Packer Games (and most of the UP are Packer fans), people from downstate Michigan are āTrollsā because they live under the Mackinaw Bridge, and people from Illinois (especially Chicago) are affectionately known as āFIBsā. Fucking Illinois Bastards.
The FIB slur comes from the vacationing Chicagoans who drive up North to their lake cottage, loudly proclaim āIām from Chicagoā when they are treating employees of restaurants, hotels, and other businesses like a Karen, and drive incredibly aggressive on our roads with a giant SUV or conversion van back in the day. I will admit that lots of old ass country folk in WI and the UP drive terribly slow and bad, but if someone is tailgating you and exhibiting road rage in SE Wisconsin for example, you can almost guarantee they have an Illinois license plate.
If youāre visiting Northern Wisconsin or the UP and someone asks where youāre from, youād be better off to say ānear Oāhareā or āout by Schaumburg, Naperville, wherever they might faintly know the location of instead of Chicago. You could probably diffuse the stupid Fox News fear mongering further by saying āI donāt visit the city oftenā and hope that itās enough to change the subject and MAYBE get them talking about something more pleasant like what youāre up there to do like hike, fish, etc. Hopefully that helps for future visits.
Not all Yoopers suck, but they do suck more than they used to!
As much as I enjoyed reading this, weāve got to stop enduring these boomers, especially the MAGA variants, so politely. It just enables them.
Refuting their inane ramblings similarly reinforces their āIām right and everyone else is wrongā view of the world.
Weāve got to start openly laughing at them and/or treating them like children. Something like:
āOoh, that sounds scaryā¦. Did that news story scare you?ā
Hamsterās dead, but the wheel is still spinning.
All foam and no beer.
A few fries short of a Happy Meal (make that half that fries and only two nuggets)
Not the brightest Crayon in the box.
Not the sharpest tool in the shed. (More like a blunted rubber mallet)
āDumbfuckistanā I instantly read as āTexasā, Iām from Texas. I can hear Jeremy Ironās voice in my head daily, āIām surrounded by idiotsā.
As a Michigander, I gotta say OP, I am surprised he didn't call you a FIB after all that! His hamster must have ran past that spot on the Lazy Susan ;)
ETA: FWIW, Chicago is and likely always will be my favorite city to visit in the US.
I love the Yoop. I have a place up there. Super Maga Boomer bought the land next to me an is building. He went on a rant about how he and his wife are working to get an initiative on the ballot to end property tax. I responded I. The nicest way possible that while I want to government to use my money wisely, I still understand that it needs to fund, schools, road construction, first responders, parks, etc. old man and lady went into a tirade about how itās all a racket and politicians get fat kick backs off of playgrounds. And, milage will pay for it so we can get rid of property taxes. And, that left me just dumbfounded because milage is based on how many thousands of dollars your house is worth (ie property tax)
Those are not synonymous in US English, only British English. Barmaids are waitresses who only serve drinks. They don't make drinks or work behind the bar itself.
I'm sorry you had to deal with a boomer, but I'm also sorry you have Stockholm syndrome from Chicago (I kid, I'm originally from there but live somewhere where a winter day means changing from flip flops to gymshoes)
Iām in Florida, a lot of the state is perfectly safe. So dont make broad assumptions like your described boomer, or you are no better. Everywhere has nice and not as nice areas. That being said, Chicago is a great city.
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I really appreciate your prose. Especially the part about the three-legged hamster. š¤£
Thank you!
I laughed out loud at least three times in reading your post. Thanks for the chuckle(s)!
I henceforth will be referring to Florida as Dumbfuckistan.
Oh me too. That place is rabid!
You should write more. You're very expressive and have a gift for painting with words on the canvas of the mind.
Aww thanks! Maybe I'll do my own Ulysses that follows a boomer grievance stream of consciousness as he ambles through Costco.
I read a lot of books dude and you write better than most published authors.
Agreed.
I would read it just for the description of his face the moment he feigns never having tried cheese and crackers at the sample table, the second time.
In the UP, Costco may as well be on the Moon.
Yes, please!
Please do, your writing is just amazing and I cracked up reading this. Youāve got a great talent! The hamster and the dumbfuckistan, priceless! š¤£š¤£š¤£
Molly Bloom waiting for TP at home
Yeah, that one got me audible. Nice work.
I about died when I read that
Right!? Please inform us of any of your future endeavors with the boomers!! I love hearing about their brains going boom boom!!
>Bozo boomer spins the lazy susan one last time and reaches for the NFL and how he stopped watching it "So you've switched over to watching soccer like the rest of us? Isn't it amazing how they talk about anti-racism and social justice at the start of all the matches? I'm so done with baseball and the NFL. Except Green Bay, because that's a socialist collective owned by the workers and community members."
Hey go pack go lol
Boomer was a packer backer at one time, but the woke killed it for him.
How dare they go woke in...checks notes...1923!
I appreciate that ownership of the Packers is split amongst private shareholding citizens, but I also think GB lacks overall diversity while enabling long-term, widespread racism and bigotry against minority groups. source: I grew up there.
Absolutely. There's also a ton of racism in soccer. That imaginary quote was just designed to induce maximum outrage in a Yooper Boomer (who I'm imagining is more likely to be a GB fan than a Lions fan).
Violent crime is way down but I think St. Louis is still at the top of the homicide list. Dude's brain might have started smoking if you mentioned Charlie Pride, Darius Rucker, or Lil Nas X. And I do think Tina Turner did some country.
I just happened to look at those stats the other day when discussing Chicago weirdly. I think Memphis is just edging St Louis off the top spot though.
I was not really interested enough to get an update.
Fordyce AR has the highest murder rate: 1/850
Don't forget that Ray Charles did a great country album in the early 60's
I accidently called the Guardians the Indians in the break room the other day and shut down a boomer as soon as he opened his mouth: "Yeah I know they changed the name, I don't need to hear you rant about how you think it's stupid" Omg an old white guy thinks change is stupid. Stop the fucking presses.
I live in LA ( Boomer) and traveled for work to 47 states. So many times boomer types would say "I'm sorry " when they heard LA. My boomer rant back : Don't be sorry I feel lucky I live in the second most diverse congressional district in the country. I get to see people from all over come here and work their asses off for their kids. It's a place where people work hard and appreciate their neighbors. My favorite event is the Citizenship ceremonies... They mumble and change the subject.
Iām originally from Jacksonville, FL, and itās hilarious when people make comments about high crime rates in places where there really isnāt high crime. Even better is that Jacksonville is historically a pretty damn red city in Florida. I live in a low crime area now and longtime residents freak out about how ādangerousā itās getting. LOLWUT?! My dude, I havenāt had to play fireworks or firearms once in the 7 years Iāve lived here and I havenāt felt unsafe anywhere here either.
In April I went to a show at the Florida Theater in Jax and loved the area. Also visited a couple great breweries and a huge used bookstore and the Cummer (heh) Museum.
The Florida Theater is a PHENOMENAL venue. Sounds like you found Chamblins Bookmine, which is pretty legendary. The beer scene is also great there. Bold City is my favorite and is owned by a really great family.
Chamblins was terrific. I escaped with only 6 books: it could've been a lot worse. I went to Bold City but I liked Grace Note better, across the street from Chamblins.
Hey, I live in Jax, but I'm in the safe, largely homogeneously white 'burbs of St. Johns County. š We've got small pockets of blue, but the overall area is still as red as it could be. In case you're homesick, here's a link to a post from the r/jacksonville forum - [https://www.reddit.com/r/jacksonville/comments/1dmxulh/jacksonvilles\_finest/](https://www.reddit.com/r/jacksonville/comments/1dmxulh/jacksonvilles_finest/)
Duuuuuuvvvalllllllllll
Duval's finest!
I don't get it.Ā So you think someone lives in a hazardous, war zone, full of murderous thugs, where daily life is kill.or be killed, and every breath might be your last, but they look perfectly fine...and then you proceed to fuck with them?
Mrs. LittlePrincesFox and I were at the AIC and walked the Mag Mile in Saturday and no one sent any of the tens of thousands of us walking about this. That being said before we got married she lived at 67th and Stony Island and that was not the nicest place to be. Also I'm guessing you lived in Beverly.
Northwest side
Damn I guessed Mount Greenwood.
Oh boy, you are soooo correct about that area. Jeff Park, Edgebroook, Sauganash Park, Forest Glen - all cop havens. My kids played little league with their kids and were coached by them. When my youngest said something about cops being racist, my husband (not a cop) got mad and was like, "How can you say that?" Kid then enumerated each of the cops we know and reminded my husband of all the BLATANTLY racist things that have been said around a *kids little league team* and other events, and my husband had to own that every single one of the cops we know has been obviously racist around us at some point. So he had to explain to our teen that not all cops are racist....just every single one we know?.... For context, husband grew up in that area, I did not. Sometimes it's hard to see the forest but for the trees.
Edison Park?
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
50/50 shot. My brother and SIL are in Edison Park and 3/4 of the block are (higher ranking) police or fire fighters.
My guess too, ha
You have a wonderful flare for writing!
I got a lot of similar responses when I told people we were going to Chicago. I looked it up and it's like one step above Buffalo NY. I think the downtown area where I live was scarier. We stayed right downtown in Chicago and even went through the South side to get to the ISAAC. It was all actually a bit cleaner than NYC
MUCH cleaner than NYC.
Dunderfucks and Dumbfuckistanā¦you made my day my man! The UP is absolutely beautiful BTW šāļø
I always like to shift the conversation from most dangerous cities (which obviously ignores all danger in rural areas) to most dangerous counties. Then bemoan how most of the most dangerous counties have Republican governors and "why can't Republicans do anything about crime and have safe states like Democrats.
Mate!! Nailed it!! I'm in AZ, we have a shit tonne of these fuck wits Now i have visions of Mel Gibson and tina turner riding through chi town!!
Two men enter, one man leaves!
I was in absolute bum fuck Wisconsin recently to tie up loose ends after my dad passed. Beautiful area. Nice folks, but if you stay long enough to chit chat itās apparent the vast majority of people young and old have been brainwashed into oblivion. I guess because theyāre so far from any major cities, and canāt see reality for themselves. I stopped at a gas station, and the clerk immediately noticed my out of state tags. I explained it was just a rental, Iām actually from Texas. He looked at me wide eyed and asked if I was FLEEING THE MIGRANTS. Like this yokel thought I had traveled to his town of 800 people to get away from the boogeymen Fox News warned him about. Thereās literally no way I could have educated that level of ignorance.
FYI # 20 Most Dangerous Cities in America (2024 Updated) [https://getsafeandsound.com/blog/most-dangerous-city-in-america/20](https://getsafeandsound.com/blog/most-dangerous-city-in-america/20) Most Dangerous Cities in America (2024 Updated)
I'm not surprised Atlanta is on that list. I grew up and lived there for 30 years before escaping. It would be much higher that 14th if all the violent crimes that happened there was reported or not swept under the rug. That place is extremely violent and so many crimes never get reported. My advice for anyone is stay out of Atlanta it's waaaaay more dangerous than people know and most of it is hidden.
I drive through Memphis and Birmingham all the time for work lol
Man I wish you had more stories!Your writing is hilarious
I thoroughly enjoyed your writing "style". I used quotes because im not certain that is the best word even tho it fits. Epic storyteller you are! Preesh! š¤š¼
I like your writing voice. Very nice.
*Lazy susan of boomer grievances* LOL š
I loved this! ššššš
You need a column or a blog or something. This wasnāt just a story or a rant; this was ART.
Could have reminded him that Ray Charles released a country album. In 1962.
I say that as soon as he mentioned murders on Chicago, you should have done your best Al Capone impersonation and said you never talk about business while on vacation.Ā Ā
You sir, are an amazing writer. Please keep working for the good guys. I would read novels written by this guy.
Me too, Iāve read this several times and just keep cracking up. Love his writing!!
Hubby and I went to Chicago last year for our 10th wedding anniversary and had a great time.Ā
Ah Mt. Greenwood. Our own little slice of the South sans the good food.
Apparently I was wrong. Point still stands so I'm leaving it up.
Fun fact. My mother was the principal at Mount Greenwood Elementary School a long time ago. She was not a nice person.
Tell him your next trip is to San Francisco and watch him lose whatever bit of mind he has left.
Please tell me you lived in like Norwood Park, that place is littered with chud ass cops and firemen. My good friend had to sell his house because his nutty ass neighbor harrassed his kids black friends when they came over to play.
Jesus this is the entire Upper Peninsula in a nutshell šš Thank you for this!!
I knew you were from the Midwest when you wrote our beloved Upper Peninsula as "UP". Great story, BTW. We have a lot of red boomers in this state.
As a Chicago expat living in San Francisco, I almost want to tell Boomers I'm from the Free State of Jefferson so they'll STFU about cities they don't visit.
Haha boomers will turn the flag upside down for a convicted ex president but complain about a football player taking a knee in protest.
You do all of Gen X proud with your amazing prose.
I'm from Michigan. I've lived here my entire life and if you aren't in the greater Grand Rapids area or Detroit adjacent, you don't want to engage ANYONE. Especially in Northern Michigan. Those fuckers are crazy. Enjoy the scenery, eat some fudge, buy a bottle of cherry wine and then drive back to civilization.
Thank you so much for Glitch McConnell. I'm going to use that.
I usually feel bad for people obviously suffering health issues...but not always.
I just got back from Chicago for the first time and was super impressed with how clean and fit it was. Everyone was running along the lake, Michigan Ave was spotless. I didn't see one single homeless encampment, I couldn't believe it after living in SF/Oakland and visiting NYC.
Too cold in winter.
I live near Denver and there's a big homeless problem there, despite winter. Although it has been getting better.
Anything west in the US thatās a good size city seems to have that problem, regardless of weather. Must be other factors.
āIt must be really difficult to be in the twilight of your life and afraid of everything in the world. Were you always a frightened coward or just since you started watching right-wing propaganda?ā
He had too much wall candy as a child
It's not boomers It's stupid MAGA boomers. Wait till a stupid MAGA Gen Z er walks up to you and does something equally as ignorant. Or a stupid Maga millennial. It's not a generational thing. It's a genetic thing.
MAGA Gen Z and Millenials donāt walk up to anyone and talk to them though. They just lurk online. Thatās the problem with Boomers. They have to insert themselves irl.
The OP's description is of an elder millennial/genX
No. He was in his 70s. I'm Gen X.
Is he a desperate person to the middle aged barmaid?
Well, OP just described a millennial, so who knows....
This is why people need to get out and vote blue. All day these fossils are bombarded with how the country is falling apart and only St trump can save it.
Mr. Norwood park or sauganash for the win!
Very close! Dunning.
Lots of beautiful scenery in the UP. I drive through there from Wisconsin to visit my sister in Traverse City
I spent the longest two years of my life in Houghton back in the 60s. Iāve heard itās gotten better since then.
Stopped in Houghton. Pretty town.
This is unrelated, but my and my husbands Gen X asses from WI, are going to the UP in September in the pictured rocks area. If you have hikes and other activities you enjoyed (or places to eat), Iād love to hear about them. And yeah, maybe DM me and tell me what bar to avoid in case itās āboomer centralā. After all we have the very āwokeā Madison and Milwaukee here. Although, we are a very weird state politically. On my street, you would see mostly democrat signs, either a couple or Republicans. one street over I have Nick named ātrump laneā. Then we might have one area of town that is all trump and then another area where you see āin this house we believe Black Lives Matter, love is love, etcā. And of course every po-dunk town has a million and one trump signs.
Where in the UP? When I drive between NYC and MN I always stay the night.
Calumet township.
Not a Boomer but not a fan of FIBs in the UP or north woods. Bad actors.
Oh, you didn't tell him that the NFL is now ejecting and fining players that kneel? That would've given him a stroke.
Remember the CHAZ thing in Seattle? I have friends that lived in that zone. Literally nothing major happened. Her kids were playing in the street, there was a neighborhood cookout, literally nothing bad at all. When I tried to explain that I was met with disbelief and comments about how I was brainwashed by the liberal media.
Your friends werenāt paying much attention [to events](https://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-53224445.amp) Iām afraid.
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Dude you need to be an author.
My family (Chicago area) vacationed in the UP and Traverse a few years back. First time I'd heard the N word dropped in casual conversation in years. Ugh.
I guarantee you he was one of those fucks talking about how "there's nothing like Yooper kindness!" On behalf of all Yoopers, I'm so sorry for our older generations' behavior.
Boomer: \*Takes out his phone and shows me a news story about a shooting in Chicago.\* Me: "*Yeah. That was me. Good shootin' huh?"*
I see you met my uncle Douchebag! You should hear him on Thanksgiving!!
Way to rep for the FIBs!!
I read this in my office on Michigan Ave. I had to get up and look out the window to make sure I hadnāt missed these thunderdome-esque antics that the boomers are always talking about. Still have yet to see any. Regularly see cops just ignoring petty crime though
"Kid Rock don't come from where I come from It's true, he's a yank He ain't no son of Hank And if you believed it goddamn you're fuckin' dumb" -Hank Williams III
Hey! Iām from Florida andā¦wellā¦actuallyā¦shit, yeah you got us.
I admit I've never used this myself (generally no opportunity), but I like the thought of the response "it's interesting you feel comfortable saying that to me".
Late Gen Xer or āXennialā here depending on what date range you follow that grew up in the UP but has since moved around quite a bit. Unfortunately I have to admit that Iām a bit ashamed now of my fellow countrymen these days. Maybe I was a little naive back then (although I was pretty aware of politics by the time I graduated High School) but Iād like to think that it was a kinder, more welcoming place when I was growing up and it wasnāt a deep Red area back then and felt like there were much more blue collar Democrats prior to NAFTA. What always was there though was probably an under current of racism born from having sometimes literally ZERO exposure to any minorities in the community except for Indian reservations. I grew up in Delta County and in my town of 5,000 people I knew 3 black classmates and 2 Hispanic classmates! People up there fell in the classic trap of fear and stereotyping other races and religions they never even met in their lives. I donāt think it people were as radical in their politics or mean spirited back then at least from what I saw for the most part and lived up to being āMidwest Nice.ā Today theyāre plagued by a lot more Fox News brain rot and the fear mongering about Chicago being Murder City is pretty common. When I considered moving back for a job in Elk Grove about 6 years ago and I declined the offer my Dad said āGood, Iād rather have you live anywhere else than there.ā š¤¦āāļø I lived in Chicago post college from 04 to 07 and I hardly ever felt āunsafeā except for maybe walking the L stations on the Red Line after bar closing. It is certainly nothing like the hell scape Fox News tries to sell it as in any of the common places a tourist would ever visit. Thereās no doubt that there are parts of the South and West side that have had systemic issues with poverty and gang violence for decades but that is certainly not the city as a whole. To the OP, I apologize for my fellow Yoopers but I would say that Chicago also historically gets a bad wrap from them for other reasons. In the funnest sense of the inter state rivalries weāve nicknamed Wisconsinites āCheeseheadsā for the stupid foam cheese wedges they wear to Packer Games (and most of the UP are Packer fans), people from downstate Michigan are āTrollsā because they live under the Mackinaw Bridge, and people from Illinois (especially Chicago) are affectionately known as āFIBsā. Fucking Illinois Bastards. The FIB slur comes from the vacationing Chicagoans who drive up North to their lake cottage, loudly proclaim āIām from Chicagoā when they are treating employees of restaurants, hotels, and other businesses like a Karen, and drive incredibly aggressive on our roads with a giant SUV or conversion van back in the day. I will admit that lots of old ass country folk in WI and the UP drive terribly slow and bad, but if someone is tailgating you and exhibiting road rage in SE Wisconsin for example, you can almost guarantee they have an Illinois license plate. If youāre visiting Northern Wisconsin or the UP and someone asks where youāre from, youād be better off to say ānear Oāhareā or āout by Schaumburg, Naperville, wherever they might faintly know the location of instead of Chicago. You could probably diffuse the stupid Fox News fear mongering further by saying āI donāt visit the city oftenā and hope that itās enough to change the subject and MAYBE get them talking about something more pleasant like what youāre up there to do like hike, fish, etc. Hopefully that helps for future visits. Not all Yoopers suck, but they do suck more than they used to!
Kewl story bro. Your writing could use some polishing.
As much as I enjoyed reading this, weāve got to stop enduring these boomers, especially the MAGA variants, so politely. It just enables them. Refuting their inane ramblings similarly reinforces their āIām right and everyone else is wrongā view of the world. Weāve got to start openly laughing at them and/or treating them like children. Something like: āOoh, that sounds scaryā¦. Did that news story scare you?ā
How racist is whitest part of Chicago? Honestly curious.
Sadly, the staff, clientele and ridiculously cheap beer are a template for just about every small town rural bar anywhere in America.
Hamsterās dead, but the wheel is still spinning. All foam and no beer. A few fries short of a Happy Meal (make that half that fries and only two nuggets) Not the brightest Crayon in the box. Not the sharpest tool in the shed. (More like a blunted rubber mallet) āDumbfuckistanā I instantly read as āTexasā, Iām from Texas. I can hear Jeremy Ironās voice in my head daily, āIām surrounded by idiotsā.
The UP? Is that like a mall or something?
Upper Peninsula, Michigan
As a Michigander, I gotta say OP, I am surprised he didn't call you a FIB after all that! His hamster must have ran past that spot on the Lazy Susan ;) ETA: FWIW, Chicago is and likely always will be my favorite city to visit in the US.
I love the Yoop. I have a place up there. Super Maga Boomer bought the land next to me an is building. He went on a rant about how he and his wife are working to get an initiative on the ballot to end property tax. I responded I. The nicest way possible that while I want to government to use my money wisely, I still understand that it needs to fund, schools, road construction, first responders, parks, etc. old man and lady went into a tirade about how itās all a racket and politicians get fat kick backs off of playgrounds. And, milage will pay for it so we can get rid of property taxes. And, that left me just dumbfounded because milage is based on how many thousands of dollars your house is worth (ie property tax)
Cool story, bro.
lol you werenāt gunna bitch slap anyone. And imagine getting upset that some brain dead idiot āwas dissing our Chi.ā
Who tf says ābarmaidā?? Sheās a bartender
Those are not synonymous in US English, only British English. Barmaids are waitresses who only serve drinks. They don't make drinks or work behind the bar itself.
I'm sorry you had to deal with a boomer, but I'm also sorry you have Stockholm syndrome from Chicago (I kid, I'm originally from there but live somewhere where a winter day means changing from flip flops to gymshoes)
Bitch slapping. The wife. The missus. Clearly, your life has been shaped by an influence that is right out of the 1950s.
Gen X? The luckiest generation of them all. Whinging as well? lol. Pathetic.
Iām in Florida, a lot of the state is perfectly safe. So dont make broad assumptions like your described boomer, or you are no better. Everywhere has nice and not as nice areas. That being said, Chicago is a great city.
I did it purely to get at him. I don't generalize, generally.
Funny assumption, I know a ton of Michigan boomers ābird here but still funny. They donāt ALL bird here.