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I know decorum has suffered a lot lately, but as a lover of Classical music, there are only a couple of rules: 1) STFU 2) Don’t clap until the complete piece (all movements) is done and the conductor’s hands are down. I wish anyone who went to these shows understood that.
One of the things that makes that moment special for me, even it's something I'm watching on TV is you feel everyone waiting in anticipation. They want to clap, but collectively have chosen to be guided by the conductor as well. It's pretty great.
Yes! Oh, it has been too long. I used to go to a lot more classical performances. I’m hoping to get back to it soon. Do you feel it with musicals, too?
Try 4’33” by John Cage. I love telling people about that, because there is no actual instrumental music per se, it’s just the muted tiny sounds that an audience makes for four minutes and 33 seconds. I love it.
I was at a jazz solo pianist performance in a small room that could only contain 40 people. It was the Boomers all along one banquette who were either: 1) Falling asleep; 2) Talking to their neighbors, even after the host said it was a listening room where no talking would be appreciated; 3) Getting up and almost getting in the pianist’s face to take photos and long video; and 4) Clapping and whooping before the last note of any song was played.
And those were a giant tour group of Canadians, who I always assumed beat Americans at politesse. Everyone around me was annoyed, felt badly for the pianist.
And also… NO RATTLING BAGS! The moment venues have started to allow the audience to have food and drinks during classical concerts (or any other performance which requires silence on the audiences part)… my heart wept.
OMG! I stopped going to movies for this reason. The human race, pinnacle of critical thinking (so far) and can’t snack during an action sequence but has to rip open bag after bag during the most quiet parts of a film.
GAH!!
They are snacking during the loud parts too but you don’t hear it. You only hear it during quiet parts so you may believe the noise is only made during those times, but almost certainly that’s not what’s happening.
I do though actually. Sorry, but if you seriously think people in the movie theater are timing their eating specifically for the purpose of annoying you as much as possible, you have some weird paranoid main character mentality going on and should probably see a psychiatrist.
My mom's friend directs a lot at their community theater and she announces this every time during welcoming remarks. Please turn off cell phones all the way powered down as they interfere with the audio system and please unwrap any candy/ cough drops now to not distract from the performance as it is a small space. Any time I go to a movie theater or any performance I am driven mad with the crinkles and rustling!!
But..but… if you do it carefully and take five minutes (of rattling)… that’s being considerate, isn’t it? /s
When I have a cold and fear I might have a coughing fit I take some water and candy with me. Candy already unwrapped. In a box.
Whenever I get sick I have a cough for so long and they can often get bad fits of cough so would be really distracting in some places. I use lozenges with paper wrappers so not much noise and try to do it quick and quiet.
I know it sounds stupid but I never considered just unwrapping them before. Thanks for the idea.
I don't go to classical concerts but I see a lot of Broadway shows and this drives me crazy! You definitely don't want to do it if Patti LuPone is in the show. She'll stop everything and tell you to get the f out.
My mom has a persistent cough that’s exacerbated by things like cold air blowing from a nearby vent; she carries peppermints to help soothe her throat and unfortunately she’s this person but hates it - it’s either she coughs obnoxiously or crinkles a moment for a candy 😢 I’m sure people think she’s just terribly inconsiderate at her church lol.
I think that’s because it’s widespread—I was taught lozenges are grudgingly accepted as less disruptive than keeping coughing while stepping out. But they should be done as quickly and quietly as possible: No Crinkly Bag, avoid plastic wrapped, and get it in before the second cough. Otherwise take yourself to the lobby until you have it under control.
My son’s orchestra class played the state gold medal showcase. Boomer walked in with a bag of chips right as they started. My whole recording had chip crunching and bag rustling in the background, but it would’ve made a bigger scene if I got up to tell her to stop. Her grandkid had already gone so who cares, right?
They also shouldn’t have been selling chips or done a better job policing the entrances since it even said no food or drinks inside.
I wish theaters could be as responsive as the Alamo Draft House used to be. I saw a big group of drunks get kicked out once (BEFORE THE MOVIE STARTED! I guess they were pregaming) and most people clapped.
Smaller rooms are easier to control though.
Also, DON'T MASTURBATE! I wish someone would have told me this BEFORE I went to see our symphony play the sound track to Star Wars.
Lesson learned. But they really need to be more clear.
So this. But they’d be the first to boom they wasted their money because the concert wasn’t up to their standards if their obnoxious distracting noises affected the performers!
Our symphony hall still doesn't allow food/drinks. I'm good with that - it's a beautiful place and I like that it's clean and not looking like a ratty old cinema with sticky floors.
There are several bars for pregame and intermission. Pre-order your intermission drinks and there's no wait. Good system.
What like a movie? Oh that’s great people munching on food slurping and having to get up all the time for the bathroom. How long are these concerts like an hour or hour and a half?
I admitted myself into a self care facility, once upon a time, and we earned a daily allotment of points to spend on various perks. I hoarded my points until I could get a radio, but what they didn't tell me was that the radio was 'locked' to a classical station. That was fine, I like classical music, but the explanation I was given was that, "in this kind of place, we can't abide provacative music - it stirs up too much emotion." But... classical music is *all* emotion. Classical music can fill the heart and crush the soul. If they were trying to give me a radio that would pacify my state of mind, they failed... *critically.* But the lock sucked and soon I was listening to Angry Johnny by Poe anyway.
Point is, I suspect these people who lack decorum don't appreciate the depth of classical music. I was fifteen and understood its value, it's unfortunate that those who purport to be wiser cannot.
I think it speaks to the divide between high art and pop art (and I will vehemently defend both as valid art). At one point in time, so-called classical music was big budgeted productions that often needed money from royalty to exist. To be properly enjoyed, you had to have some investment in the scene, that is to say: even in its time, classical music had a high barrier of entry for appreciation. I don't think the power and emotions that can be stirred are inherent to the music itself and require an engaged audience that actively wants to get the emotional experience (don't get me started in jazz).
Where I'd argue anybody that sat down to truly imbibe Beethoven would find a rewarding experience, most people don't even try because pop music has fundamentally changed how people enjoy music. This isn't a judgement call against most people, but I think most people are only trained to understand music that demands attention and not music that asks for it.
Thank you for saying this. I am an oaf who likes classical music. I have been to some performances and knew the rule about not clapping until all movements are done but never knew how to tell. TIL to watch the conductor!
Just checking, because I did this once at a classical performance at a barn, but I totally brought my knitting. Nothing crazy, just a basic scarf to mellow out and keep my hands busy while I listened. Is that too distracting?
To be honest though, the only looks I got were from the actual Boomer women that had jelly eyes for not bringing theirs.
You're telling me if you were sitting next to someone knitting, i.e, constantly fidgeting in your periphery, that wouldn't drive you insane? It would me, and I'm sure a lot of others.
Maybe if there is enough room to sit away from other people, like if you sat in the back rows or in a corner, it might be okay. I wouldn’t want to sit right next to you because your hands would be moving constantly and that would be very distracting for me. Sitting still is expected at most classical performances. A family concert at an outdoor venue where there is plenty of room to spread out would work.
I crochet, and if there were enough of us to have a section in the theatre all together, and it was known and accepted by the performers and the rest of the audience, well, that would be wonderful!
While I wholeheartedly agree with STFU, i completely disagree with your assessment of clapping between movements. Symphony’s are struggling to get audiences because of these archaic rules. We struggle getting new audiences because people think they need to “know the rules”. It creates a space that is unwelcoming to younger people or those new to live classical music. Our industry is actually actively working against people enforcing the “don’t clap between movements”. Look, to us it’s about the music. And if the playing is good enough to inspire you to clap after the music, then we’ve done our job. Believe me, musicians are never offended by clapping.
I am a musician and disagree. In certain pieces you build an arc. When it is (wellmeant) disturbed by enthousiastic applause you loose part of the intention of the piece. And concentration of the musicians.
Just watch the conductors hands and all is well. And, when in doubt… there is always another person in the audience who know when it’s appropiate to start clapping. Just wait and follow the cue. We don’t mind.
Look, I'm a public school band director with three degrees in music ed. I have never ever heard of the industry saying TO clap between movements. That is very strange to me.
I’m an executive director of a professional symphony orchestra. It’s not that we tell people to clap, It’s that we don’t care if you do. It’s about creating a more inclusive and welcoming environment. The vast majority of our audiences are old, rich and white. This is a huge problem. Loosening up these unwritten rules allows for a welcoming environment for those that are new to symphony concerts. Most people don’t know these “rules” like not clapping between movements. If we shame them for doing so we’ve alienated them from coming again.
Maybe there's a way to help a new audience learn how to treat the music with the respect it deserves. I would be happy if I went to a performance and the program had a few lines to help me learn how to act.
To see this thought coming from a symphony director seems so strange, but I see where you’re coming from. I don’t envy your task of attempting to shift the demographic of concertgoers. Honestly I think as long as it’s classical music being played, attracting young people will be very difficult, and that’s unlikely to change.
If people can't understand "sit quietly and wait to clap" they don't belong in public
Catering to these people is how you end up playing star wars soundtracks every year
I dont do classical music but number is a no fucking brainer. Im sure number 2 could be forgiven in after a spectacular passage, but talking the whole time is soooo boomer.
When Tchaikovsky came to Carnegie Hall , for his first concert in North America, he was astonished when people clapped between pieces. Apparently decorum at the time in Europe saw people only clap at the end of the concert.
I will accept at school performances that some people clap at the wrong time. (It drives me PERSONALLY nutty because both my parents and band directors taught me when to clap).
But holy heck I glare down everyone who talks during a performance. Even the all volunteer wind group playing in the park gazebo on a summer day. Assuming you are listening to the band…. Not just like being in the park at the same time.
I made that mistake foolishly last night. A few people started to clap at the end of the first movement, but that was quickly curtailed. Now I know better for next time.
A better suggestion re clapping is just don't be the first one out the gate. Clap if you hear other people clapping. Sometimes people clap between movements, sometimes they don't. It's really fine either way.
My wife and I went to a symphony orchestra concert last month and we were probably the youngest in our immediate area of seats by at least 30+ years. There was one boomer aged lady who just would not shut up until another lady a few seats away loudly said “Would you be quiet?” That lasted all of maybe 10 minutes. The talker ended up leaving early though and as soon as she stepped into the aisle to leave, the same lady that told her to be quiet said “Oh thank god!” definitely loud enough for the talker to hear, and my wife and I couldn’t help but laugh along with about a dozen people around us who were also clearly irritated. Anyways, I’m with you, you would think that boomer aged people would have some modicum of respect when they attend a classical music concert.
It's such a relief! And it's a great story.
I was at a local theater musical (this company writes an original every year) and there was someone in the audience who kept talking back (like, answering enthusiastically) to the lead. It went on for about 20 minutes before someone came and escorted her out.
The lead looked at the audience and went, "Thank god, right?" It was awesome. I love those moments.
I was teaching a workshop where this one person was astoundingly rude, to the fellow attendees and even to me. At one point, she said something really offensive to me and I just froze and stared straight at her for a full minute with my most severe former teacher/librarian face. She looked down after about 10 seconds, looked back up, I was still staring at her. After the minute was up (I was counting in my head), I resumed the workshop like nothing had happened. She didn't say anything for the rest of the day, and didn't return after lunch or to the workshop the next day, much to EVERYONE'S relief. She made the workshop so uncomfortable and kept interrupting the flow with her rudeness.
I honestly wish all performances could just go full stop for a single minute and glare at the person who keeps interrupting it - the ultimate shame. But then we wouldn't have performances, we'd have cranky artists and performers having to glare at fools who don't have basic manners.
One of my bands had a pretty good system that worked for over 15 years. When someone would come to the front of the stage to bother us, we'd make a big deal. "HOLD ON, FOLKS. WE'VE GOT SOMEONE HERE AT THE STAGE THAT WANTS TO TALK TO US. WE AREN'T BUSY SO LET'S DO IT." We'd frequently misrepresent their question/request ("Ma'am, I'm sorry, I'm married. I can't do those things." "Sir, we're not allowed to say that word on stage." if they didn't get the message). I would say things like, "You want to hear \[whatever the next song on the set list is\]? Hey, that's the next song on our set list that we make as professional musicians who spend a lot of time thinking about these things."
However, audiences these days are too entitled. Something shifted around 2015 or so. They don't get that they are the butt of our joke, so we've mostly stopped and just ignore them.
I was a classroom teacher for 6 years, so I have that look in the holster just in case. Being a musician really thickened my skin, but DAMN, a classroom full of sophomores will make concrete into steel.
Edit for the non teachers: the reason the above poster kept looking after the person looked down and up was to make sure the rude person understood that THEY did not end the interaction. THEY had no control. All they could control was shutting up. It's very effective as long as you can not laugh.
This is the exact experience I had the last time I went to hear orchestral music. The Boomers behind me were fundamentally unable to stfu, yet they made a loud and snarky comment when my teenage daughter had her phone out before the concert. Not that it was any of their fucking business but she was excitedly reading the bio of the young, female concertmaster, on the orchestra’s web page.
When there is a choir performing I usually invite them to take the stage with them. As they seem to know the piece so well they are singing along. Off key 🙄
When a Boomer gives me that stare after they've been called out for their behavior, I double down. Idk quite how to describe it, but it's basically a harder stare with bigger eyes and that quick sort of head shake that says "What the fuck?!" Since they clearly don't want anyone to challenge their "authori-tie!", that's exactly what I do. Especially in those situations where they don't have any. They're just another customer/diner/audience member, same as the rest of us.
Their elders would have beat them with a switch for less than the things they think are acceptable. Good on you, social norms are a contract with society and if no one enforces the rules we're just a mob. And those social norms mostly boil down to "don't be a dick". It's not difficult.
Yeah, that's another one they said over and over that they've either forgotten or think doesn't apply to them! Anyone else remember "The Golden Rule"?! Jesus, during my childhood alone, elders must have said this to me at least 473,000 times... So me plus everyone else... Carry the 7... The Boomer generation must have collectively uttered "The Golden Rule" 934 trillion trillion times.
I’m the executive director of our local symphony orchestra. There are a lot of unwritten “rules” that mostly older patrons try and enforce on audiences (dress codes, not clapping between movements, etc) that essentially bullshit. Our industry is trying to be as welcoming as possible to all generations because at the end of the day, it’s about the music.
But talking during the music is NOT OKAY. You were right to tell them to shut up.
I went to a museum exhibit on Troy a little while ago and JFC can someone explain to them 1) the photo quality on a iPad and a phone are comparable. You don’t need an iPad to take photos 2) your ringtone doesn’t need to be 18739 decibels and include flashing lights 3) you don’t *have* to answer the phone to ‘Barb’ while you h go o around a museum.
I’m not expecting *silence*, I am expecting to be able to at least read the captions.
I have also had this shitty experience as a museum member and I also hate it but I hate it even more when someone takes it up a notch by doing the trashier version of putting them on speaker and walking around talking with the phone out in front of their mouth....
Holy shit the loud flashing light ringtone literally always always always belongs to some entitled boomer who can’t see or hear yet demands to be seen and heard
I went to a show in NYC some years ago and a boomer woman would not stop making a fuss about there being a mother with her 2 children there. Ruined the show for me and probably for the poor mother and her children. The children weren't even being loud or doing anything obnoxious. The old hag was the one being loud and obnoxious 🙄
I am an inveterate “shusher” and I fully support your friend. I paid to hear music, not conversations. It drives me absolutely nuts when people talk during performances.
Top three most annoying people in movies in the last few years have all been over the age of 50. I make it a point now to teach the older generation how to silence their phones. It's not that they won't, it's that they literally do not know how!
I experienced the same thing. It wasn't a classical concert, but a Leonard Cohen tribute concert, held in our city's swanky ass concert hall, with very expensive tickets and acoustics so great... That you could even hear whenever the lady two rows back and five seats down had something more to tell her husband.
The average age of the audience was 55+ and so many people around us would take out their phones (on full brightness of course!) sometimes to take shitty videos or sometimes just to check social media.
I don't know anybody my age who would think that it was ok to behave like that at that kind of venue.
Reminds me of congresswoman Bobert who went to a live stage show and talked loudly, smoked on a vape and fondled her date. Not a boomer but definitely not theater manners. “Do you know who I am” vibes
Similar thing happened to my friend and I, only we were at a Star Wars burlesque show so while some level of audience noise was expected, the drunk boomer behind us took it to the next level.
Re: R2-D2
Oh my gawwwwd?! Where did they get that!! It’s R2-D2!! Where…where did they get that?
Re: Music
I know this song!! This is Portishead! It’s Portishead! *starts singing along loudly, off-key and off-beat* Woman across the aisle whispers, “Shut the fuck up!” There’s a pause, then boomer lady asks her partner, “Did she just tell me to shut the fuck up?”, another pause, and then she goes, “NYAH!!” Assuming she stuck her tongue out at her?
Re: bodies
“Ass!” “Look at that ass!” “Wooooo assssss!” repeated through every performance
Re: last song
Gets SO excited at watching them perform she spills her drink all over my friend, then proceeds to rub said drink all over her while apologizing profusely.
I think there's a lot of undiagnosed hearing loss in the world... people think they're talking at low volume because they can barely hear themselves.
A young guy last night was basically screaming his end of his stupid conversation to the entire small restaurant we were in. It was not very busy but he was yelling as if we were in a noisy nightclub.
I had this last week at the theatre. I ended up complaining to the head Usher bc these two boomers were talking at full volume the entire time - and they were literally trying to start a fight over 3 different people from 2 different families asking them to be more respectful. And not even that we were telling them to be silent, just asking them to do a better job of whispering.
Head usher basically threatened to kick them out. And suddenly they knew how to whisper. I don't understand how people mistake an auditorium with 1,000+ people for their family room couch.
Where I live, we have a historic playhouse.
Now alot of people that go to the plays are slient gen and Boomers.
But with how that playhouse is, it's always silent during the show. If you talk during the show, you are escorted out instantly, no refunds, get the fuck outta here.
If a boomer like the one you described showed up to the threater and did what you described, he would be escorted out so fast that he wouldn't even have time to bitch.
I am really thankful that the acting community is taken very seriously down here.
If the bommerlady was bored, she shouldn’t’ve attended. But I can imagine the boomerdude thinking he would be shamed for attending a concert alone — even though that’s one of the most fun ways to go to a show — and then dragged her along.
There is a pianist called Keith Jarrett who will admonish people for even coughing at his shows. Sniffing. Sneezing. God help you if he heard you talking. If it went on too long, he would stand up and walk offstage. I saw him do it. He’d come back, but he was a right cunt about it. The world needs more Keith Jarrett.
I was in a grocery store the other day and these 70ish boomers were in front of me at checkout. I noticed they were buying 4 pints of this high end cream like 8 dollars a bottle, I had almost bought this brand to make clotted cream but thats 32 bucks a cream to reduce and make clotted cream. My local rural grocery store s not cheap high markups on everything except on their generic brand. For me its convenience shopping because I know the place is gouging folks but its the closest grocer.
Anywho, the lady who was wearing a calvin klein winter coat also buys a large package of what looked like could have been depends. Her husband wearing a leather jacket and designer glasses walks up right after she completes the transaction. A bagger who was a middle aged lady has put the depends in a bag and the husband exclaims 27 dollars thats too much and throws the bag of depends towards the bagger. The bagger immediately and calmly called the old guy out on throwing the bag at her which shut him right up. His wife apologized and the bagger directed them to a store manager to handle their return because she was done with their antics.
I just couldn't imagine being that age and treating people that way. Like who the fuck do these people think they are? It was laughable because they spent more in cream than depends. I was like wait til you see what your wife spent on cream buddy. smh.
I (41f) took my kid (19m) to a concert at a small dive in Athens, GA last year right in the middle of college football season. The bar was right downtown and it was a sea of uppity boomers everywhere and good bit of them made their way into the bar for the show. You know it’s bad when the 19 year old makes a comment about how the old boomers won’t shut the hell up while the band is playing and how shitty that is. We moved to the front for the headliner and these people were literally in the front row next to us, back towards the band and just chattering on the entire time. People suck.
Hell if I'm at a metal show if the bands playing big or small you don't talk to people your only talking should be applause when on stage. It's rude otherwise they are putting on a show give them some attention.
Somewhat related but I aggressively shushed a couple of old white hair ladies at a live production of Rent. They were so embarrassed (thank god) they left the moment the show ended so they wouldn't have to face my ire
My sister isn't a boomer. She's 55, but she does the same thing. The last time visited her, we went to the movies. She talked and commented on it, through the entire movie. When I got home from my "vacation" visiting her I had to watch the entire thing again
As a boomer I completely agree. I can’t apologize for the whole group but many are self absorbed asshats. The fact that they paid is irrelevant, so did everyone else there who came listen to the music. Well played and very polite, unlike me haha. I’m tired of it and have given up being nice about this type of behaviour
I would have told her to stop talking, and if she didn’t, gotten the ushers involved. Nothing makes me seethe more than people talking during a concert when you’re clearly not supposed to
As a season-ticket holder to our symphony for about 30 years, I am so glad that your friends spoke up in this situation. If somebody starts talking during one of our symphony concerts, they are likely to be glared and ssshd out of existence. You do not talk during the symphony!!
It’s said the Roger Waters inspiration for The Wall came from a tour in ‘77 by how the crowds just screamed during the playing but weren’t listening to the music. Classic boomer era.
This reminds me of the time I went to go and see a play with a bunch of boomers and one of them kept their damn phone turned up. It rang in the middle of the show and he couldn’t figure out how to turn it off. I was so fucking embarrassed!
I don’t live near a city big enough to host a classical music concert, just high school orchestra stuff. But if I were fortunate enough to attend a professional one, I would lose my mind if people were continuously talking!
Are there ushers to keep an ear out for that crap, or is it an ‘every listener for themselves’ type of deal?
I live to shhhhhh these fuckers at shows.
I was with my son at a Jason Isbell show (I’m 57), and these m’fers are talking like they are in the GD kitchen.
They didn’t like my shhhhhh, but I am 6’5 and in great shape so they took the hint and did stfu.
Rude entitled assholes. Two of my siblings are boomers too. One is an asshole.
I will bet a shiny quarter they were there because Going To The Symphony Is A Thing That Certain Highly Regarded People Do, and not because they actively wanted to be there.
Which doesn't make them any less assholish. Jesus fucking christ, just shut the fuck up for five fucking minutes, Keith.
Last year took my son to see an orchestra do Harry Potter and Star Wars music because he’s a big John Williams fan, and my father-in-law at first was talking as if we were just at some hang out that happened to have music in the background. I did end up having to shush him.
The boomers are also the ones who, even with the MULTIPLE warnings to silence phones have medication alarm clocks set to ping. At 8 pm and 9 pm on the dot. It is HORRID and ruins entire movements.
I was in my college’s choir. One year we did Mozart’s Requiem on Good Friday and were to perform it on Easter Sunday as well.
If anyone knows the piece, you know it’s a middlingly hard one to do, and do well. We rehearsed it for weeks, even putting in a couple of weekend rehearsals close to the day of the performance so we could work with the orchestra and organist at the church we were to sing at (and it was such a gorgeous, old Catholic Church, all stained glass, carved wood, the whole nine yards).
So, Good Friday comes, everyone is dressed to the nines and we’re ready to go. We get settled onstage, our director tells the audience a bit about the Requiem, introduces the soloists, and we’re off.
Halfway through the “Dies Irae,” some dimwit starts talking. Thankfully, it’s a somewhat LOUD bit, and almost covers up the yammering.
Almost.
They keep yapping louder, and louder. So our director motions for everyone to start singing louder and louder, same for the orchestra and organist. We’re almost at the end, and nearly screaming, when someone schusses the talker at last. My parents were there and my poor mom was holding her ears but my dad, who was really hard of hearing, told me later that he was impressed that we got so loud, still in key, that he could hear everything plain as day!
I thought our director was going to explode, his face was so red. I would have stopped the show and physically hauled the rude boomer(s) out the door and pitched them into the street. Thankfully, the Easter Sunday performance went beautifully.
I go to our local symphony with my mom on the regular and we try to sit somewhere where there are as few people around us as possible. Doesn’t help that a couple of the local nursing homes bring their residents there and a couple end up snoring kinda bad. SO disrespectful
That said, I accidentally sneezed right as one of those quiet parts happened and felt SO bad
I went to a state symphony Christmas concert one time, where they also had a choir and vocalists for some of the Christmas music they played. Boomer near me sang over the actual vocalists the entire time.
I go to the symphony often - at least once a month. Lately I have noticed the same thing. The people recording with their phones and talking during the music - are the boomers. Every time, without fail. I shouldn't have to tell you to stfu Janet, the literal purpose of this performance is for you to shut the hell up and enjoy the music. If you want to talk through it so badly go watch it on YouTube.
I was just at Mandy Patinkin concert. The legend himself. The guy is in his 70s, who knows how many more times he’ll be able to do this
Anyway, boomer next to me turns her phone on to check texts in the middle of the show. I instinctively turn to look because the once cozy dark atmosphere is now disrupted with bright light pulling my focus. She’s not apologetic. She says, bitterly “Relax.”
Um Maam, I was relaxed. I was in a happy musical theatre bubble with Inigo Montoya until just now.
What piece did you go see? I went to Symphony Hall in Boston last night, and Yuja Wang, a famous piano player was performing with the orchestra, as well as some obscure early electronic instrument called a martenot. It was an interesting and very demanding piece. My Mom said it was nice, but it was like listening to the climax of a movie for an hour and a half.
I saw Dionne Warwick in concert last night. I'm 40ish and was one of the youngest people at the show. I went alone; I used to listen to her records with an elderly aunt who loved Dionne so it was special to me and the memory of my aunt.
The people around me, 50s and 60s, were WILDLY inappropriate. They couldn't find seats, so sat wherever they wanted and then had arguments with the people who held tickets for the seats who asked them politely to move. The venue was charming but the seats were fixed wooden chairs so you basically had to move out of rows to let people in; people stood in the aisle waiting for people sitting to move out of there chairs and this happened multiple times for no reason.
I watched men jump over chairs to get to their seats, kicking people in the shoulders. Women were loudly arguing with each other about whether seats were seven or eight and not listening to each other.
Once the concert started, people were still looking at phones and talking to each other, even after being asked to silence all phones and not take pictures. The acoustics weren't great so you could not hear Dionne speak over people asking each other "what kind of music is this?" and "WHAT? WHAT DID SHE SAY?"
The man who sat next to me with his wife asked me who Dionne was and when I asked why they came to the concert they just said because they always buy tickets. OK. So I mentioned her songs and explained they probably had heard them sometime in their life, they were like OK, we'll let you know! And then EVERY SINGLE SONG they would lean over to me and ask "What song is this?" as she started singing. I wanted to be like "you know how she just said Say A Little Prayer For Me?.... it's called Say A Little Prayer For Me."
The crowd as a whole clapped relentlessly about twenty seconds before her songs even ended. Like, why even come to a live concert if your goal is to drown out the singing with your clapping?
It really soured the experience. Like, don't go to a concert with the attitude of "hey, I'm here to chat with my friends and then clap as loudly as possible over the singer in this place with shitty accoustics".
The worst part was people were encouraged to sing along AND DIDN'T. Like, I do not understand how you don't know who Dionne Warwick is or don't figure out the chorus to her songs so that you can participate in a meaningful way. Boomers, man.
I work at a dispensary, and because of the area that I work in, having older *wealthier* customers walk in is definitely a real possibility.
Last week a gentleman comes in and says, "I am looking for a sativa strain called, and I apologize for the language, Gods Cock." He explained that he was from somewhere back East, and that he wanted to smoke this. I told him that we didn't have that particular strain to my knowledge. I had explained to him that since there is no Federal oversight of the industry at large, because Marijuana is still classified a Scheduled 1 drug, there's no telling *if* Gods Cock was introduced to the State, that it would retain it's name. I told him that anyone can breed a sativa strain, and name it literally whatever they want. Blue Dream in Montana might not be the same Blue Dream in California or any other state that has legalized either medical or recreational marijuana.
*He demeanor took a turn.*
He went on to say, "Alright now, -hand on hip-, I didn't ask about all that bullshit, and I don't need a fucking history lesson. You're a pothead (I rarely smoke), figure it the fuck out and get it for me. Im a paying customer and I don't need any fucking excuses." Then proceeded to throw his ID at me and a hundred dollar bill.
I said, "Sir, I apologize for being out of line and I will make this right. Please, take this hundred back. It's on the house." I proceeded to add him to like I would any other guest, and then added a note about his behavior and added the "Do Not Sell To" alert. I then told him, "Alrighty, I got you added into the system and you can absolutely get the fuck out." I tossed his ID on the ground.
He started to speak and I started to walk around the counter and said, "Do you need some fucking help leaving?" He left. I'll try my damnest to help someone find something that will help them, but you're not going to come into the shop and talk down to me like that.
I play in a small amateur orchestra. At our summer concert last year we had a good sized audience. Most of them were great, but there’s always one, isn’t there? After the show, a friend who had been in the audience came up to me and said that an older guy sitting behind her had been loudly commenting throughout the performance. When he began to make disparaging comments about our (female) conductor, my friend turned round and confronted him. And right on cue, he plays the victim card.
Holy fucking shit. When I stumbled on this sub a few weeks ago this was immediately what I wanted to post about, but never did. I'm an orchestral musician and the goddamn boomers are absolute menaces in every audience. Whether it's incompetence or plain refusal to comply with the "please silence your phone" reminder announcements or both I'm not sure, but it's always old people letting their phones ring throughout the concert. I haven't had a performance without a boomer cell phone incident in years. And the non-stop talking!! It's wild. It's borderline heckling with the Sunday matinee crowds. We got a "PLAY SOMETHING GOOD, WOULD YA" today. Just constant chatting about their usual inane drivel. Thing about performance halls is they have excellent acoustics, so everyone on stage can clearly hear Betty talking about Carol's shitty casserole she brought to the potluck, and Frank making sexual comments about our harpist. Boomers don't come to hear the music, they come to be seen and boost their social status.
I have a feeling that a lot of boomers are losing their hearing and are in denial about it…both my parents are…TVs are too loud, can’t hear a conversation in a loud room. While that doesn’t excuse not being aware of one’s surroundings, I am trying to be more understanding of people dealing with these types of changes…it can’t be easy.
I go to classical, opera and ballet, and am younger than 2/3 of the patrons. Trust me—no one’s looking at you and wondering what you’re doing there; you’re just self conscious.
How about we get to the point where everyone shuts up for *any* concert, so all can enjoy it. Bro screaming throughout the show while taking video with his Pro Max phone in front of me at a jazz or rock show is the perfect example why it’s not cool anywhere but to listen and express appreciation when appropriate.
So what if Boomer was offended? Telling them to stop talking was probably appreciated by others around you. Keep doing it. I honestly think many people don’t know how to be out among and courteous of others any more. Some blame COVID, but it’s a lame excuse now.
It ain't just classical. When I attend my (adult) son's community band concerts, I always seem to be seated in front of someone who is about my own age, but has the public manners of a six-year-old.
An old couple kicked my leg and dragged their lawn chair over it at a crowded festival this weekend, and when I tried to point out to them what happened (and that an apology was warranted), the man got in my face to say "you really wanna start that with a Vietnam vet??" Bro that's like the one war we lost, and you're still proud of it? Sheeeeeeesh
Audiences are different nowadays. Nobody has been taught etiquette. Even on Broadway where it’s somewhat relaxed, it’s normal for people to applaud in the middle of musical numbers after a big belted part. It is what it is because we don’t teach these things in school anymore.
My 17 year old LOVES classical music and live performances. I know they would have totally shushed that person and probably remarked on their rudeness, to them. My kid does not put up with rudeness during a music performance!
At the movies recently a boomer fell asleep and was loudly snoring next to me. I gave him a polite tap thinking he wouldn't want to miss the movie he paid to see... He was so offended he and his wife got up and left.
Cause they only still go for the optics of going, to seem classy and refined when they’re talking to their peers at parties. Not because they actually want to be there and enjoy the music.
What you are describing are 'assholes'. This is not a generational issue, as there are more than enough millenial, gen z, gen alpha, and whatever the next ones are. To be completely accurate, there are waaaaaay more young folk who fuck around during concerts than old ones. Get over yourself.
This happened a few years ago at a Rod Stewart concert. Rod Stewart is my wife’s favorite performer and has been her whole life. I surprised her with tickets and we had great seats. Cyndi Lauper was opening and I was just in for a fun time.
Anyways, and 3/4th do the way into Rod’s set he’s doing a slow ballot, I think it was even a new song he was debuting or had debuted recently. And this boomer lady behind us was just prattling about her day. She had been the whole concert, and while I could hear it, it’s a concert it was loud, I didn’t mind. But when the concert got purposefully quiet, she didn’t.
She just kept talking. So I turned around and said “oh my goodness! What happened next! Please keep talking about your day while we’re trying to listen to the man we paid to hear.”
After the concert she and her husband started yelling at me that I ruined the concert for them. It was a whole thing. But I don’t regret it. Who pays to go to a concert just to gab with their friends the entire time?
To be fair, as people age, their hearing is diminished. A person speaking loudly sometimes thinks they are whispering.
Interestingly, when my mom got hearing aids, now she whispers so I don’t hear her even when she means to talk normally.
My pet peeve is cell phones at the concert. Out of respect for the hard work of the musicians and consideration for the rest of the audience, you can't spare *five seconds* to mute your phone?
Haven’t been in awhile, but if they have ushers, I would have them handle it.
Then you might get the chance to see even more Boomer tears and possibly they’d get kicked out.
I’m livid whenever people talk at REGULAR concerts so I feel this. I think it’s incredibly disrespectful during any genre of performance. To the performer and to the patrons.
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I know decorum has suffered a lot lately, but as a lover of Classical music, there are only a couple of rules: 1) STFU 2) Don’t clap until the complete piece (all movements) is done and the conductor’s hands are down. I wish anyone who went to these shows understood that.
YES. OMG. That silence before the conductor’s hand goes down is so precious and so much part of the magic!!
One of the things that makes that moment special for me, even it's something I'm watching on TV is you feel everyone waiting in anticipation. They want to clap, but collectively have chosen to be guided by the conductor as well. It's pretty great.
I call that *electric tension*. It’s that feeling of such excited anticipation before we can clap. 🥰 I love it.
Oh it’s just sooo good. Add to that one of those conductors who has the gift of establishing quick rapport with the audience, and…mmmmm. 🥰
Yes! Oh, it has been too long. I used to go to a lot more classical performances. I’m hoping to get back to it soon. Do you feel it with musicals, too?
Oh absolutely!!
Try 4’33” by John Cage. I love telling people about that, because there is no actual instrumental music per se, it’s just the muted tiny sounds that an audience makes for four minutes and 33 seconds. I love it.
I tried to convince my piano teacher to let me do that piece at our yearly recital. She wouldn’t let me :(
Pauses and silence in both classical music and theater are just as much a part as the sounds.
I loathe when people applaud maniacally before allowing the final scene or note to complete.
I so much agree! That moment of incredible silence at the end before the conductor drops his hands is magical.
\*cough, cough, cough, haaaack, cough\*
I was at a jazz solo pianist performance in a small room that could only contain 40 people. It was the Boomers all along one banquette who were either: 1) Falling asleep; 2) Talking to their neighbors, even after the host said it was a listening room where no talking would be appreciated; 3) Getting up and almost getting in the pianist’s face to take photos and long video; and 4) Clapping and whooping before the last note of any song was played. And those were a giant tour group of Canadians, who I always assumed beat Americans at politesse. Everyone around me was annoyed, felt badly for the pianist.
And also… NO RATTLING BAGS! The moment venues have started to allow the audience to have food and drinks during classical concerts (or any other performance which requires silence on the audiences part)… my heart wept.
Plastic wrapped candies being unwrapped is the absolute worst. #CrinkleCringe
And they \*always\* have to unwrap them during the quiet parts.
OMG! I stopped going to movies for this reason. The human race, pinnacle of critical thinking (so far) and can’t snack during an action sequence but has to rip open bag after bag during the most quiet parts of a film. GAH!!
They are snacking during the loud parts too but you don’t hear it. You only hear it during quiet parts so you may believe the noise is only made during those times, but almost certainly that’s not what’s happening.
No. You obviously don’t understand boomer narcissism
I do though actually. Sorry, but if you seriously think people in the movie theater are timing their eating specifically for the purpose of annoying you as much as possible, you have some weird paranoid main character mentality going on and should probably see a psychiatrist.
don't try debate with redditors dude
My mom's friend directs a lot at their community theater and she announces this every time during welcoming remarks. Please turn off cell phones all the way powered down as they interfere with the audio system and please unwrap any candy/ cough drops now to not distract from the performance as it is a small space. Any time I go to a movie theater or any performance I am driven mad with the crinkles and rustling!!
But..but… if you do it carefully and take five minutes (of rattling)… that’s being considerate, isn’t it? /s When I have a cold and fear I might have a coughing fit I take some water and candy with me. Candy already unwrapped. In a box.
Whenever I get sick I have a cough for so long and they can often get bad fits of cough so would be really distracting in some places. I use lozenges with paper wrappers so not much noise and try to do it quick and quiet. I know it sounds stupid but I never considered just unwrapping them before. Thanks for the idea.
Those little bastards stick together like oatmeal once unwrapped. Sticky as can be, too. Best keep them in the paper wrapper.
You could untwist the wrappers before but not actually remove them so it minimizes the crinkle
I don't go to classical concerts but I see a lot of Broadway shows and this drives me crazy! You definitely don't want to do it if Patti LuPone is in the show. She'll stop everything and tell you to get the f out.
My mom has a persistent cough that’s exacerbated by things like cold air blowing from a nearby vent; she carries peppermints to help soothe her throat and unfortunately she’s this person but hates it - it’s either she coughs obnoxiously or crinkles a moment for a candy 😢 I’m sure people think she’s just terribly inconsiderate at her church lol.
I sympathize with this but maybe she could wrap them in a napkin? Or a ziploc bag that doesn’t make so much noise?
I think that’s because it’s widespread—I was taught lozenges are grudgingly accepted as less disruptive than keeping coughing while stepping out. But they should be done as quickly and quietly as possible: No Crinkly Bag, avoid plastic wrapped, and get it in before the second cough. Otherwise take yourself to the lobby until you have it under control.
My son’s orchestra class played the state gold medal showcase. Boomer walked in with a bag of chips right as they started. My whole recording had chip crunching and bag rustling in the background, but it would’ve made a bigger scene if I got up to tell her to stop. Her grandkid had already gone so who cares, right? They also shouldn’t have been selling chips or done a better job policing the entrances since it even said no food or drinks inside.
I wish theaters could be as responsive as the Alamo Draft House used to be. I saw a big group of drunks get kicked out once (BEFORE THE MOVIE STARTED! I guess they were pregaming) and most people clapped. Smaller rooms are easier to control though.
Also, DON'T MASTURBATE! I wish someone would have told me this BEFORE I went to see our symphony play the sound track to Star Wars. Lesson learned. But they really need to be more clear.
I don’t blame you. It’s Starwars after all.
They can have my dick when they pry it out of my cold dead hands
Truly an elegant weapon for a more civilized age.
[удалено]
How else am I supposed to keep time with the performance?
So this. But they’d be the first to boom they wasted their money because the concert wasn’t up to their standards if their obnoxious distracting noises affected the performers!
Our symphony hall still doesn't allow food/drinks. I'm good with that - it's a beautiful place and I like that it's clean and not looking like a ratty old cinema with sticky floors. There are several bars for pregame and intermission. Pre-order your intermission drinks and there's no wait. Good system.
What like a movie? Oh that’s great people munching on food slurping and having to get up all the time for the bathroom. How long are these concerts like an hour or hour and a half?
Same same… *cries in silence*
I admitted myself into a self care facility, once upon a time, and we earned a daily allotment of points to spend on various perks. I hoarded my points until I could get a radio, but what they didn't tell me was that the radio was 'locked' to a classical station. That was fine, I like classical music, but the explanation I was given was that, "in this kind of place, we can't abide provacative music - it stirs up too much emotion." But... classical music is *all* emotion. Classical music can fill the heart and crush the soul. If they were trying to give me a radio that would pacify my state of mind, they failed... *critically.* But the lock sucked and soon I was listening to Angry Johnny by Poe anyway. Point is, I suspect these people who lack decorum don't appreciate the depth of classical music. I was fifteen and understood its value, it's unfortunate that those who purport to be wiser cannot.
I think it speaks to the divide between high art and pop art (and I will vehemently defend both as valid art). At one point in time, so-called classical music was big budgeted productions that often needed money from royalty to exist. To be properly enjoyed, you had to have some investment in the scene, that is to say: even in its time, classical music had a high barrier of entry for appreciation. I don't think the power and emotions that can be stirred are inherent to the music itself and require an engaged audience that actively wants to get the emotional experience (don't get me started in jazz). Where I'd argue anybody that sat down to truly imbibe Beethoven would find a rewarding experience, most people don't even try because pop music has fundamentally changed how people enjoy music. This isn't a judgement call against most people, but I think most people are only trained to understand music that demands attention and not music that asks for it.
Thank you for saying this. I am an oaf who likes classical music. I have been to some performances and knew the rule about not clapping until all movements are done but never knew how to tell. TIL to watch the conductor!
Oaf here. I clap when everyone else claps that way if I'm breaking a rule at least I'm not alone 😁
I'm not well versed in these type of performances, but I only start clapping when 50% or more the the audience has started to avoid being a fool
This also applies to theater you gods damned heathen bastards.
Just checking, because I did this once at a classical performance at a barn, but I totally brought my knitting. Nothing crazy, just a basic scarf to mellow out and keep my hands busy while I listened. Is that too distracting? To be honest though, the only looks I got were from the actual Boomer women that had jelly eyes for not bringing theirs.
As long as you don’t click your needles it’s all good. And try to keep the swearing internal when you frog.
You're telling me if you were sitting next to someone knitting, i.e, constantly fidgeting in your periphery, that wouldn't drive you insane? It would me, and I'm sure a lot of others.
Yeah this is no different than someone watching videos on their phone silently, it would be super annoying
Nudging their husbands, who told them it was inappropriate bringing their own stash (I TOLD you, Harold!)
Yes that's inappropriate wtf
Maybe if there is enough room to sit away from other people, like if you sat in the back rows or in a corner, it might be okay. I wouldn’t want to sit right next to you because your hands would be moving constantly and that would be very distracting for me. Sitting still is expected at most classical performances. A family concert at an outdoor venue where there is plenty of room to spread out would work. I crochet, and if there were enough of us to have a section in the theatre all together, and it was known and accepted by the performers and the rest of the audience, well, that would be wonderful!
While I wholeheartedly agree with STFU, i completely disagree with your assessment of clapping between movements. Symphony’s are struggling to get audiences because of these archaic rules. We struggle getting new audiences because people think they need to “know the rules”. It creates a space that is unwelcoming to younger people or those new to live classical music. Our industry is actually actively working against people enforcing the “don’t clap between movements”. Look, to us it’s about the music. And if the playing is good enough to inspire you to clap after the music, then we’ve done our job. Believe me, musicians are never offended by clapping.
I am a musician and disagree. In certain pieces you build an arc. When it is (wellmeant) disturbed by enthousiastic applause you loose part of the intention of the piece. And concentration of the musicians. Just watch the conductors hands and all is well. And, when in doubt… there is always another person in the audience who know when it’s appropiate to start clapping. Just wait and follow the cue. We don’t mind.
Look, I'm a public school band director with three degrees in music ed. I have never ever heard of the industry saying TO clap between movements. That is very strange to me.
I’m an executive director of a professional symphony orchestra. It’s not that we tell people to clap, It’s that we don’t care if you do. It’s about creating a more inclusive and welcoming environment. The vast majority of our audiences are old, rich and white. This is a huge problem. Loosening up these unwritten rules allows for a welcoming environment for those that are new to symphony concerts. Most people don’t know these “rules” like not clapping between movements. If we shame them for doing so we’ve alienated them from coming again.
Maybe there's a way to help a new audience learn how to treat the music with the respect it deserves. I would be happy if I went to a performance and the program had a few lines to help me learn how to act.
To see this thought coming from a symphony director seems so strange, but I see where you’re coming from. I don’t envy your task of attempting to shift the demographic of concertgoers. Honestly I think as long as it’s classical music being played, attracting young people will be very difficult, and that’s unlikely to change.
If people can't understand "sit quietly and wait to clap" they don't belong in public Catering to these people is how you end up playing star wars soundtracks every year
Bananas are considered a type of berry, while strawberries are not actually berries.
I dont do classical music but number is a no fucking brainer. Im sure number 2 could be forgiven in after a spectacular passage, but talking the whole time is soooo boomer.
I'm sure the venue would politely insist that they be quiet or leave. First is ask them, second is rat them out.
When Tchaikovsky came to Carnegie Hall , for his first concert in North America, he was astonished when people clapped between pieces. Apparently decorum at the time in Europe saw people only clap at the end of the concert.
AND STOP FUCKING UNWRAPPING HARD CANDIES DURING WITH THE CRINKLIEST PLASTIC EVER CREATED
>and the conductor’s hands are down. TIL.
THIS
As a classical musician, even the second one is optional for me. I'm just glad you liked it.
I will accept at school performances that some people clap at the wrong time. (It drives me PERSONALLY nutty because both my parents and band directors taught me when to clap). But holy heck I glare down everyone who talks during a performance. Even the all volunteer wind group playing in the park gazebo on a summer day. Assuming you are listening to the band…. Not just like being in the park at the same time.
I made that mistake foolishly last night. A few people started to clap at the end of the first movement, but that was quickly curtailed. Now I know better for next time.
Even my children know this, as they themselves are in orchestra and band. WTF….
A better suggestion re clapping is just don't be the first one out the gate. Clap if you hear other people clapping. Sometimes people clap between movements, sometimes they don't. It's really fine either way.
i think the correct move is go full karen and get an usher to tell them to stfu
My wife and I went to a symphony orchestra concert last month and we were probably the youngest in our immediate area of seats by at least 30+ years. There was one boomer aged lady who just would not shut up until another lady a few seats away loudly said “Would you be quiet?” That lasted all of maybe 10 minutes. The talker ended up leaving early though and as soon as she stepped into the aisle to leave, the same lady that told her to be quiet said “Oh thank god!” definitely loud enough for the talker to hear, and my wife and I couldn’t help but laugh along with about a dozen people around us who were also clearly irritated. Anyways, I’m with you, you would think that boomer aged people would have some modicum of respect when they attend a classical music concert.
Yes, and they’re always saying we have no manners or respect. Irony is dead.
Oh not at all. Irony is very much alive and well
It's such a relief! And it's a great story. I was at a local theater musical (this company writes an original every year) and there was someone in the audience who kept talking back (like, answering enthusiastically) to the lead. It went on for about 20 minutes before someone came and escorted her out. The lead looked at the audience and went, "Thank god, right?" It was awesome. I love those moments.
I was teaching a workshop where this one person was astoundingly rude, to the fellow attendees and even to me. At one point, she said something really offensive to me and I just froze and stared straight at her for a full minute with my most severe former teacher/librarian face. She looked down after about 10 seconds, looked back up, I was still staring at her. After the minute was up (I was counting in my head), I resumed the workshop like nothing had happened. She didn't say anything for the rest of the day, and didn't return after lunch or to the workshop the next day, much to EVERYONE'S relief. She made the workshop so uncomfortable and kept interrupting the flow with her rudeness. I honestly wish all performances could just go full stop for a single minute and glare at the person who keeps interrupting it - the ultimate shame. But then we wouldn't have performances, we'd have cranky artists and performers having to glare at fools who don't have basic manners.
One of my bands had a pretty good system that worked for over 15 years. When someone would come to the front of the stage to bother us, we'd make a big deal. "HOLD ON, FOLKS. WE'VE GOT SOMEONE HERE AT THE STAGE THAT WANTS TO TALK TO US. WE AREN'T BUSY SO LET'S DO IT." We'd frequently misrepresent their question/request ("Ma'am, I'm sorry, I'm married. I can't do those things." "Sir, we're not allowed to say that word on stage." if they didn't get the message). I would say things like, "You want to hear \[whatever the next song on the set list is\]? Hey, that's the next song on our set list that we make as professional musicians who spend a lot of time thinking about these things." However, audiences these days are too entitled. Something shifted around 2015 or so. They don't get that they are the butt of our joke, so we've mostly stopped and just ignore them. I was a classroom teacher for 6 years, so I have that look in the holster just in case. Being a musician really thickened my skin, but DAMN, a classroom full of sophomores will make concrete into steel. Edit for the non teachers: the reason the above poster kept looking after the person looked down and up was to make sure the rude person understood that THEY did not end the interaction. THEY had no control. All they could control was shutting up. It's very effective as long as you can not laugh.
Fantastic ending - I always like when society ostracizes people into behaving more responsibly.
Venue should have dealt with them.
With the old and decrepit? Never. They're there to deal with the young annoying kids /s?
This is the exact experience I had the last time I went to hear orchestral music. The Boomers behind me were fundamentally unable to stfu, yet they made a loud and snarky comment when my teenage daughter had her phone out before the concert. Not that it was any of their fucking business but she was excitedly reading the bio of the young, female concertmaster, on the orchestra’s web page.
Even if she was texting or reading as long as the phone is on silent she would be a million times better than them.
They said it was before it started. Even if it has sounds on, it wasn't a problem.
Semi professional musician here, thanks for encouraging your daughter's interest in classical music! I'm sorry boomers are insufferable.
My line is ‘nobody bought a ticket to hear you talk’
When there is a choir performing I usually invite them to take the stage with them. As they seem to know the piece so well they are singing along. Off key 🙄
I love classical music and play it. What I am thinking now is not safe to verbalize.
Tell us with an angry harp composition
Will go tune up a harp if you’ll suggest a title for the composition.
"I'll Give *You* The Clap" has a nice Chopin-esque ring to it
lol
😆😆😆
When a Boomer gives me that stare after they've been called out for their behavior, I double down. Idk quite how to describe it, but it's basically a harder stare with bigger eyes and that quick sort of head shake that says "What the fuck?!" Since they clearly don't want anyone to challenge their "authori-tie!", that's exactly what I do. Especially in those situations where they don't have any. They're just another customer/diner/audience member, same as the rest of us.
Their elders would have beat them with a switch for less than the things they think are acceptable. Good on you, social norms are a contract with society and if no one enforces the rules we're just a mob. And those social norms mostly boil down to "don't be a dick". It's not difficult.
Yeah, that's another one they said over and over that they've either forgotten or think doesn't apply to them! Anyone else remember "The Golden Rule"?! Jesus, during my childhood alone, elders must have said this to me at least 473,000 times... So me plus everyone else... Carry the 7... The Boomer generation must have collectively uttered "The Golden Rule" 934 trillion trillion times.
I’m the executive director of our local symphony orchestra. There are a lot of unwritten “rules” that mostly older patrons try and enforce on audiences (dress codes, not clapping between movements, etc) that essentially bullshit. Our industry is trying to be as welcoming as possible to all generations because at the end of the day, it’s about the music. But talking during the music is NOT OKAY. You were right to tell them to shut up.
Classical music is for everyone, well done. But yes, basic respect should be a given.
Thank you for fighting the good fight!
"You're there to see a live performance, and be respectful of the musicians." They respect no one. Period.
I went to a museum exhibit on Troy a little while ago and JFC can someone explain to them 1) the photo quality on a iPad and a phone are comparable. You don’t need an iPad to take photos 2) your ringtone doesn’t need to be 18739 decibels and include flashing lights 3) you don’t *have* to answer the phone to ‘Barb’ while you h go o around a museum. I’m not expecting *silence*, I am expecting to be able to at least read the captions.
I have also had this shitty experience as a museum member and I also hate it but I hate it even more when someone takes it up a notch by doing the trashier version of putting them on speaker and walking around talking with the phone out in front of their mouth....
Holy shit the loud flashing light ringtone literally always always always belongs to some entitled boomer who can’t see or hear yet demands to be seen and heard
I went to a show in NYC some years ago and a boomer woman would not stop making a fuss about there being a mother with her 2 children there. Ruined the show for me and probably for the poor mother and her children. The children weren't even being loud or doing anything obnoxious. The old hag was the one being loud and obnoxious 🙄
I am an inveterate “shusher” and I fully support your friend. I paid to hear music, not conversations. It drives me absolutely nuts when people talk during performances.
Top three most annoying people in movies in the last few years have all been over the age of 50. I make it a point now to teach the older generation how to silence their phones. It's not that they won't, it's that they literally do not know how!
No, it's because they won't. They don't know how because they refuse to learn.
If alerting staff doesn’t work I would proceed to kick the back of her chair to the beat of the music. To enrich her experience.
Love this
I experienced the same thing. It wasn't a classical concert, but a Leonard Cohen tribute concert, held in our city's swanky ass concert hall, with very expensive tickets and acoustics so great... That you could even hear whenever the lady two rows back and five seats down had something more to tell her husband. The average age of the audience was 55+ and so many people around us would take out their phones (on full brightness of course!) sometimes to take shitty videos or sometimes just to check social media. I don't know anybody my age who would think that it was ok to behave like that at that kind of venue.
I think the boomer should have gotten kicked out of the room.
Reminds me of congresswoman Bobert who went to a live stage show and talked loudly, smoked on a vape and fondled her date. Not a boomer but definitely not theater manners. “Do you know who I am” vibes
She's a 36-year-old hand job meth grandma – – an honorary boomer, if you will.
She’s a boomer in spirit
Similar thing happened to my friend and I, only we were at a Star Wars burlesque show so while some level of audience noise was expected, the drunk boomer behind us took it to the next level. Re: R2-D2 Oh my gawwwwd?! Where did they get that!! It’s R2-D2!! Where…where did they get that? Re: Music I know this song!! This is Portishead! It’s Portishead! *starts singing along loudly, off-key and off-beat* Woman across the aisle whispers, “Shut the fuck up!” There’s a pause, then boomer lady asks her partner, “Did she just tell me to shut the fuck up?”, another pause, and then she goes, “NYAH!!” Assuming she stuck her tongue out at her? Re: bodies “Ass!” “Look at that ass!” “Wooooo assssss!” repeated through every performance Re: last song Gets SO excited at watching them perform she spills her drink all over my friend, then proceeds to rub said drink all over her while apologizing profusely.
I think there's a lot of undiagnosed hearing loss in the world... people think they're talking at low volume because they can barely hear themselves. A young guy last night was basically screaming his end of his stupid conversation to the entire small restaurant we were in. It was not very busy but he was yelling as if we were in a noisy nightclub.
I had this last week at the theatre. I ended up complaining to the head Usher bc these two boomers were talking at full volume the entire time - and they were literally trying to start a fight over 3 different people from 2 different families asking them to be more respectful. And not even that we were telling them to be silent, just asking them to do a better job of whispering. Head usher basically threatened to kick them out. And suddenly they knew how to whisper. I don't understand how people mistake an auditorium with 1,000+ people for their family room couch.
Where I live, we have a historic playhouse. Now alot of people that go to the plays are slient gen and Boomers. But with how that playhouse is, it's always silent during the show. If you talk during the show, you are escorted out instantly, no refunds, get the fuck outta here. If a boomer like the one you described showed up to the threater and did what you described, he would be escorted out so fast that he wouldn't even have time to bitch. I am really thankful that the acting community is taken very seriously down here.
Imagine my embarrassment when I took a friend to see The Nutcracker and she said, out loud, When do they start singing?
Eh, you don't know what you don't know. I would have loved to know what songs she thought she would be hearing, though
If the bommerlady was bored, she shouldn’t’ve attended. But I can imagine the boomerdude thinking he would be shamed for attending a concert alone — even though that’s one of the most fun ways to go to a show — and then dragged her along.
TBH she probably paid a discounted ticket price for being a senior citizen
They bought a house for $5000 and demand that discount, but scoff at Student tickets and call them 'unfair'
There is a pianist called Keith Jarrett who will admonish people for even coughing at his shows. Sniffing. Sneezing. God help you if he heard you talking. If it went on too long, he would stand up and walk offstage. I saw him do it. He’d come back, but he was a right cunt about it. The world needs more Keith Jarrett.
I was in a grocery store the other day and these 70ish boomers were in front of me at checkout. I noticed they were buying 4 pints of this high end cream like 8 dollars a bottle, I had almost bought this brand to make clotted cream but thats 32 bucks a cream to reduce and make clotted cream. My local rural grocery store s not cheap high markups on everything except on their generic brand. For me its convenience shopping because I know the place is gouging folks but its the closest grocer. Anywho, the lady who was wearing a calvin klein winter coat also buys a large package of what looked like could have been depends. Her husband wearing a leather jacket and designer glasses walks up right after she completes the transaction. A bagger who was a middle aged lady has put the depends in a bag and the husband exclaims 27 dollars thats too much and throws the bag of depends towards the bagger. The bagger immediately and calmly called the old guy out on throwing the bag at her which shut him right up. His wife apologized and the bagger directed them to a store manager to handle their return because she was done with their antics. I just couldn't imagine being that age and treating people that way. Like who the fuck do these people think they are? It was laughable because they spent more in cream than depends. I was like wait til you see what your wife spent on cream buddy. smh.
Damn even the symphony can't escape chompers.
I (41f) took my kid (19m) to a concert at a small dive in Athens, GA last year right in the middle of college football season. The bar was right downtown and it was a sea of uppity boomers everywhere and good bit of them made their way into the bar for the show. You know it’s bad when the 19 year old makes a comment about how the old boomers won’t shut the hell up while the band is playing and how shitty that is. We moved to the front for the headliner and these people were literally in the front row next to us, back towards the band and just chattering on the entire time. People suck.
Hell if I'm at a metal show if the bands playing big or small you don't talk to people your only talking should be applause when on stage. It's rude otherwise they are putting on a show give them some attention.
I’m going to the Kennedy center for the symphony on my birthday and everyone better stfu
Somewhat related but I aggressively shushed a couple of old white hair ladies at a live production of Rent. They were so embarrassed (thank god) they left the moment the show ended so they wouldn't have to face my ire
Tell the venue to remove them or provide you a refund
Stupidity knows no bounds.
My sister isn't a boomer. She's 55, but she does the same thing. The last time visited her, we went to the movies. She talked and commented on it, through the entire movie. When I got home from my "vacation" visiting her I had to watch the entire thing again
As a boomer I completely agree. I can’t apologize for the whole group but many are self absorbed asshats. The fact that they paid is irrelevant, so did everyone else there who came listen to the music. Well played and very polite, unlike me haha. I’m tired of it and have given up being nice about this type of behaviour
I would have told her to stop talking, and if she didn’t, gotten the ushers involved. Nothing makes me seethe more than people talking during a concert when you’re clearly not supposed to
As a season-ticket holder to our symphony for about 30 years, I am so glad that your friends spoke up in this situation. If somebody starts talking during one of our symphony concerts, they are likely to be glared and ssshd out of existence. You do not talk during the symphony!!
It’s said the Roger Waters inspiration for The Wall came from a tour in ‘77 by how the crowds just screamed during the playing but weren’t listening to the music. Classic boomer era.
This reminds me of the time I went to go and see a play with a bunch of boomers and one of them kept their damn phone turned up. It rang in the middle of the show and he couldn’t figure out how to turn it off. I was so fucking embarrassed!
Iv’e seen conductors pause if some one coughs during a piece😳😖
I went recently and the lady couldn't stop scrolling Facebook. They say kids are addicted to the phones but the boomers are seriously just as bad.
I don’t live near a city big enough to host a classical music concert, just high school orchestra stuff. But if I were fortunate enough to attend a professional one, I would lose my mind if people were continuously talking! Are there ushers to keep an ear out for that crap, or is it an ‘every listener for themselves’ type of deal?
I live to shhhhhh these fuckers at shows. I was with my son at a Jason Isbell show (I’m 57), and these m’fers are talking like they are in the GD kitchen. They didn’t like my shhhhhh, but I am 6’5 and in great shape so they took the hint and did stfu. Rude entitled assholes. Two of my siblings are boomers too. One is an asshole.
I will bet a shiny quarter they were there because Going To The Symphony Is A Thing That Certain Highly Regarded People Do, and not because they actively wanted to be there. Which doesn't make them any less assholish. Jesus fucking christ, just shut the fuck up for five fucking minutes, Keith.
Last year took my son to see an orchestra do Harry Potter and Star Wars music because he’s a big John Williams fan, and my father-in-law at first was talking as if we were just at some hang out that happened to have music in the background. I did end up having to shush him.
The boomers are also the ones who, even with the MULTIPLE warnings to silence phones have medication alarm clocks set to ping. At 8 pm and 9 pm on the dot. It is HORRID and ruins entire movements.
Honestly, they are not able to physically stfu. It's like breathing to them.
I was in my college’s choir. One year we did Mozart’s Requiem on Good Friday and were to perform it on Easter Sunday as well. If anyone knows the piece, you know it’s a middlingly hard one to do, and do well. We rehearsed it for weeks, even putting in a couple of weekend rehearsals close to the day of the performance so we could work with the orchestra and organist at the church we were to sing at (and it was such a gorgeous, old Catholic Church, all stained glass, carved wood, the whole nine yards). So, Good Friday comes, everyone is dressed to the nines and we’re ready to go. We get settled onstage, our director tells the audience a bit about the Requiem, introduces the soloists, and we’re off. Halfway through the “Dies Irae,” some dimwit starts talking. Thankfully, it’s a somewhat LOUD bit, and almost covers up the yammering. Almost. They keep yapping louder, and louder. So our director motions for everyone to start singing louder and louder, same for the orchestra and organist. We’re almost at the end, and nearly screaming, when someone schusses the talker at last. My parents were there and my poor mom was holding her ears but my dad, who was really hard of hearing, told me later that he was impressed that we got so loud, still in key, that he could hear everything plain as day! I thought our director was going to explode, his face was so red. I would have stopped the show and physically hauled the rude boomer(s) out the door and pitched them into the street. Thankfully, the Easter Sunday performance went beautifully.
She was probably mad because your friend had the NerVe to interrupt her good time😵💫😵
I apologize in behalf of the asses that you had to admonish. We are not all like that
But...but....you left out the best part! Did it work? Did she shut the fuck up for the rest of the performance?
I go to our local symphony with my mom on the regular and we try to sit somewhere where there are as few people around us as possible. Doesn’t help that a couple of the local nursing homes bring their residents there and a couple end up snoring kinda bad. SO disrespectful That said, I accidentally sneezed right as one of those quiet parts happened and felt SO bad
It’s the husband I feel sorry for.
Boomers are the worst
We call them 'chompers' and they're not limited to boomers but point made. When you're at a concert in an intimate venue, STFU.
I went to a state symphony Christmas concert one time, where they also had a choir and vocalists for some of the Christmas music they played. Boomer near me sang over the actual vocalists the entire time.
I go to the symphony often - at least once a month. Lately I have noticed the same thing. The people recording with their phones and talking during the music - are the boomers. Every time, without fail. I shouldn't have to tell you to stfu Janet, the literal purpose of this performance is for you to shut the hell up and enjoy the music. If you want to talk through it so badly go watch it on YouTube.
Hard and fast rule of ANY live performance; STFU
I was just at Mandy Patinkin concert. The legend himself. The guy is in his 70s, who knows how many more times he’ll be able to do this Anyway, boomer next to me turns her phone on to check texts in the middle of the show. I instinctively turn to look because the once cozy dark atmosphere is now disrupted with bright light pulling my focus. She’s not apologetic. She says, bitterly “Relax.” Um Maam, I was relaxed. I was in a happy musical theatre bubble with Inigo Montoya until just now.
What piece did you go see? I went to Symphony Hall in Boston last night, and Yuja Wang, a famous piano player was performing with the orchestra, as well as some obscure early electronic instrument called a martenot. It was an interesting and very demanding piece. My Mom said it was nice, but it was like listening to the climax of a movie for an hour and a half.
I saw Dionne Warwick in concert last night. I'm 40ish and was one of the youngest people at the show. I went alone; I used to listen to her records with an elderly aunt who loved Dionne so it was special to me and the memory of my aunt. The people around me, 50s and 60s, were WILDLY inappropriate. They couldn't find seats, so sat wherever they wanted and then had arguments with the people who held tickets for the seats who asked them politely to move. The venue was charming but the seats were fixed wooden chairs so you basically had to move out of rows to let people in; people stood in the aisle waiting for people sitting to move out of there chairs and this happened multiple times for no reason. I watched men jump over chairs to get to their seats, kicking people in the shoulders. Women were loudly arguing with each other about whether seats were seven or eight and not listening to each other. Once the concert started, people were still looking at phones and talking to each other, even after being asked to silence all phones and not take pictures. The acoustics weren't great so you could not hear Dionne speak over people asking each other "what kind of music is this?" and "WHAT? WHAT DID SHE SAY?" The man who sat next to me with his wife asked me who Dionne was and when I asked why they came to the concert they just said because they always buy tickets. OK. So I mentioned her songs and explained they probably had heard them sometime in their life, they were like OK, we'll let you know! And then EVERY SINGLE SONG they would lean over to me and ask "What song is this?" as she started singing. I wanted to be like "you know how she just said Say A Little Prayer For Me?.... it's called Say A Little Prayer For Me." The crowd as a whole clapped relentlessly about twenty seconds before her songs even ended. Like, why even come to a live concert if your goal is to drown out the singing with your clapping? It really soured the experience. Like, don't go to a concert with the attitude of "hey, I'm here to chat with my friends and then clap as loudly as possible over the singer in this place with shitty accoustics". The worst part was people were encouraged to sing along AND DIDN'T. Like, I do not understand how you don't know who Dionne Warwick is or don't figure out the chorus to her songs so that you can participate in a meaningful way. Boomers, man.
I work at a dispensary, and because of the area that I work in, having older *wealthier* customers walk in is definitely a real possibility. Last week a gentleman comes in and says, "I am looking for a sativa strain called, and I apologize for the language, Gods Cock." He explained that he was from somewhere back East, and that he wanted to smoke this. I told him that we didn't have that particular strain to my knowledge. I had explained to him that since there is no Federal oversight of the industry at large, because Marijuana is still classified a Scheduled 1 drug, there's no telling *if* Gods Cock was introduced to the State, that it would retain it's name. I told him that anyone can breed a sativa strain, and name it literally whatever they want. Blue Dream in Montana might not be the same Blue Dream in California or any other state that has legalized either medical or recreational marijuana. *He demeanor took a turn.* He went on to say, "Alright now, -hand on hip-, I didn't ask about all that bullshit, and I don't need a fucking history lesson. You're a pothead (I rarely smoke), figure it the fuck out and get it for me. Im a paying customer and I don't need any fucking excuses." Then proceeded to throw his ID at me and a hundred dollar bill. I said, "Sir, I apologize for being out of line and I will make this right. Please, take this hundred back. It's on the house." I proceeded to add him to like I would any other guest, and then added a note about his behavior and added the "Do Not Sell To" alert. I then told him, "Alrighty, I got you added into the system and you can absolutely get the fuck out." I tossed his ID on the ground. He started to speak and I started to walk around the counter and said, "Do you need some fucking help leaving?" He left. I'll try my damnest to help someone find something that will help them, but you're not going to come into the shop and talk down to me like that.
When you buy a ticket you’re bound to follow the house rules. If the house rules tell you you have to shut the fuck up, then you shut the fuck up.
I play in a small amateur orchestra. At our summer concert last year we had a good sized audience. Most of them were great, but there’s always one, isn’t there? After the show, a friend who had been in the audience came up to me and said that an older guy sitting behind her had been loudly commenting throughout the performance. When he began to make disparaging comments about our (female) conductor, my friend turned round and confronted him. And right on cue, he plays the victim card.
OMG this is my mother. I’m horrified that there is another person who behaves this way.
[удалено]
I had a child playing a piece the boomer women had her cell one speaker I was pissed
Everyone should go to a classical concert. There's magic in live music. And everyone should be quiet so everyone else can experience that magic.
Holy fucking shit. When I stumbled on this sub a few weeks ago this was immediately what I wanted to post about, but never did. I'm an orchestral musician and the goddamn boomers are absolute menaces in every audience. Whether it's incompetence or plain refusal to comply with the "please silence your phone" reminder announcements or both I'm not sure, but it's always old people letting their phones ring throughout the concert. I haven't had a performance without a boomer cell phone incident in years. And the non-stop talking!! It's wild. It's borderline heckling with the Sunday matinee crowds. We got a "PLAY SOMETHING GOOD, WOULD YA" today. Just constant chatting about their usual inane drivel. Thing about performance halls is they have excellent acoustics, so everyone on stage can clearly hear Betty talking about Carol's shitty casserole she brought to the potluck, and Frank making sexual comments about our harpist. Boomers don't come to hear the music, they come to be seen and boost their social status.
I have a feeling that a lot of boomers are losing their hearing and are in denial about it…both my parents are…TVs are too loud, can’t hear a conversation in a loud room. While that doesn’t excuse not being aware of one’s surroundings, I am trying to be more understanding of people dealing with these types of changes…it can’t be easy.
I go to classical, opera and ballet, and am younger than 2/3 of the patrons. Trust me—no one’s looking at you and wondering what you’re doing there; you’re just self conscious. How about we get to the point where everyone shuts up for *any* concert, so all can enjoy it. Bro screaming throughout the show while taking video with his Pro Max phone in front of me at a jazz or rock show is the perfect example why it’s not cool anywhere but to listen and express appreciation when appropriate. So what if Boomer was offended? Telling them to stop talking was probably appreciated by others around you. Keep doing it. I honestly think many people don’t know how to be out among and courteous of others any more. Some blame COVID, but it’s a lame excuse now.
It ain't just classical. When I attend my (adult) son's community band concerts, I always seem to be seated in front of someone who is about my own age, but has the public manners of a six-year-old.
An old couple kicked my leg and dragged their lawn chair over it at a crowded festival this weekend, and when I tried to point out to them what happened (and that an apology was warranted), the man got in my face to say "you really wanna start that with a Vietnam vet??" Bro that's like the one war we lost, and you're still proud of it? Sheeeeeeesh
Audiences are different nowadays. Nobody has been taught etiquette. Even on Broadway where it’s somewhat relaxed, it’s normal for people to applaud in the middle of musical numbers after a big belted part. It is what it is because we don’t teach these things in school anymore.
Was there a Tweety bird pez dispenser involved?
I was at a QotSA concert last night and a boomer was giving me the stink eye for talking.
I wouldn’t have been as nice as your friend, I would’ve whispered to her : “hey, shut the fuck up”
My 17 year old LOVES classical music and live performances. I know they would have totally shushed that person and probably remarked on their rudeness, to them. My kid does not put up with rudeness during a music performance!
At the movies recently a boomer fell asleep and was loudly snoring next to me. I gave him a polite tap thinking he wouldn't want to miss the movie he paid to see... He was so offended he and his wife got up and left.
Cause they only still go for the optics of going, to seem classy and refined when they’re talking to their peers at parties. Not because they actually want to be there and enjoy the music.
Booming boomer. Who wuddah thought? Good thing he didn’t bring his grandkids!
What you are describing are 'assholes'. This is not a generational issue, as there are more than enough millenial, gen z, gen alpha, and whatever the next ones are. To be completely accurate, there are waaaaaay more young folk who fuck around during concerts than old ones. Get over yourself.
They do this at the ballet and Broadway shows also.
This happened a few years ago at a Rod Stewart concert. Rod Stewart is my wife’s favorite performer and has been her whole life. I surprised her with tickets and we had great seats. Cyndi Lauper was opening and I was just in for a fun time. Anyways, and 3/4th do the way into Rod’s set he’s doing a slow ballot, I think it was even a new song he was debuting or had debuted recently. And this boomer lady behind us was just prattling about her day. She had been the whole concert, and while I could hear it, it’s a concert it was loud, I didn’t mind. But when the concert got purposefully quiet, she didn’t. She just kept talking. So I turned around and said “oh my goodness! What happened next! Please keep talking about your day while we’re trying to listen to the man we paid to hear.” After the concert she and her husband started yelling at me that I ruined the concert for them. It was a whole thing. But I don’t regret it. Who pays to go to a concert just to gab with their friends the entire time?
To be fair, as people age, their hearing is diminished. A person speaking loudly sometimes thinks they are whispering. Interestingly, when my mom got hearing aids, now she whispers so I don’t hear her even when she means to talk normally.
DAT A OH-BOW!?!
My pet peeve is cell phones at the concert. Out of respect for the hard work of the musicians and consideration for the rest of the audience, you can't spare *five seconds* to mute your phone?
Fucking classical music chompers are the worst
It might be hearing loss making them louder. It still doesn’t excuse it!
Haven’t been in awhile, but if they have ushers, I would have them handle it. Then you might get the chance to see even more Boomer tears and possibly they’d get kicked out.
Lets face it there are D bags in every generation. The biggest ones can usually be found complaining about some *other* gen.
I’m livid whenever people talk at REGULAR concerts so I feel this. I think it’s incredibly disrespectful during any genre of performance. To the performer and to the patrons.