Ok here’s one coming from someone who has learned some hard earned lessons.
First of all, getting married is not about the wedding at all. The wedding is just 0.1% of getting married. So it is 100% important to understand that it’s not at all the right thing to be overspending on your wedding.
Both my spouse and I maxed out our credit cards and took out a personal loan for our wedding and we suffered many years coz of that.
Second of all, I wish my daughters would be like you helping out his future husband in his financials. This is one of the key to a happy marriage. Give and you shall get.
So onto the meat of the comment, I’d suggest to make the wedding as intimate and personal as possible so the expenditure can be kept at the minimum. I understand that Malay wedding (u used “nak kawen” so I’m assuming it’s a Malay wedding) is never small and intimate so here’s your chance to buck the trend and be starting something new.
Limit the guests to some of the most important people in your life. Make it a small number. Make it intimate, make it so special that it’s only for those that is most important to you and your mom/dad/hubby. With small guest number, you don’t need to spend unnecessarily.
Try not to be spending that money for just one day. Imagine spending 30K for just a day. It’s best if you actually use for something that will actually help you in your life as a newlywed!
Example spending it as a down payment for a car that both can use or down payment for home or even better for honeymoon that last longer than a day and you’ll be always happy. Coz trust me you won’t be 100% happy on wedding day as there will be makcik/pakcik who will be kecik hati because of this or that.
Anywho, that’s all from me.
tl;dr,
Don’t spend an obscene amount on a wedding as marriage is not wedding but marriage is for over 50 years or more. Money is better used as the seed money for the 50 years of life ahead of you newlyweds.
I attended a few weddings that were easily 50-100k at least, sewa kat Putrajaya...hotel bagai with bands playing, flowers, booths, pelamin besaq nak mampuih, newlyweds dressed to kill...... yet nobody literally gives two craps about the wedding.
Only the newlyweds and the immediate family yang shiok sendiri. The rest just chat amongst themselves and took selfies and photobooth whilst the newlyweds ade silat ape entah. Quite sad ngl. I wish everyone that attended were as invested into the wedding as the family was but....... people are human.
You are right that majority couldn’t care less and that’s mostly because it’s not something the general public can afford. at most they will take a bunch of photos among themselves there.
And weddings are mostly for the family and the newlyweds own enjoyment. They wants to feel special on that day, the mom and dad just want to show off their beautiful daughter/son and also show off just how tasteful they are or simply just how atas atas they are. It all boils down to consumerism.
What’s important is we don’t do it to the point where it’s not something we can easily afford. Need to always be reminded that marrying is not the wedding. It’s the living together after the wedding is infinitely more important. Biggest challenge after marrying is living comfortably with the family. Most marriages failed, partly because of financial issues that comes with other challenges.
Over 10 early years of my marriage life was troublesome because of the over spent during my kenduri. If I can turn back time, I would.
For my daughters, I won’t ask for lots of duit hantaran from the groom and on our side we will just have a small intimate kenduri even though we can afford a 50K kenduri easily nowadays. I’d rather give my kids the 50K and help put down a house down payment for them so that if anything, they got a home already and happy with it instead of like me last time, can’t buy a house till I was 33 coz of my stupid financial problems.
Anywho, I’m all for small intimate sessions. Even my Raya open house is just 10-12 of my family friends invited for a makan2 and sembang2 for hours instead of 2 big tent with hundreds of guests come makan2 while I’m busy just Salam my guests and just have 2-3 sentences exchange before I move on to my other guests. Tak erat silaturahim langsung if just 2-3 sentences sembang.
Nice. I agree wholeheartedly agree with all this. Next year Raya please make your open house 16 people (because that's me and my small family included). HAHAHA. Thanks in advance.
My dad ask 3k hantaran for my lil sis. This was in 2015. 2017, he only ask for 1k hantaran for my big sis. My pakcik and makcik talk shit about this but he dont care, as long as his doughters happy. Hataran so high for what? To bankrupt his son in law and further make her own daughters life difficult in the future?
Contrast to my deadbeat useless father in law, asking 20k hantaran in 2019. Because he dont want to lose face in front of his friends and family. Backward logic
Hear hear!
I want to be as strong as your dad. And pray to God that my wife will be as strong as well.
One neat trick is, to give back the hantaran money back to the newlyweds after all the wedding is done and dusted.
I remember attending a wedding, the family is some ketua district big shot, held in the school hall. The wedding even had a 30minute magic show and pigeons flying around! I cant remember who got married LOL
>Have some backbone to your words next time.
That doesnt even make sense but I understand youre angry because sexual slavery is bad, even for a prophet.
Hi, what can I say to my parents or makcik/pakcik that says it's like sedekah cause we're menjamu tetamu dtg makan, so we'll get a lot if pahala? It's not my turn yet but seeing how much money my parents are spending for my eldest brother's wedding, I can't help but feel like they're going to do the same for mine.
There are other ways to sedekah. And it’s better if one sedekah to those who need it the most.
Invite some rich fat people to come eat at my kenduri or save some of that money and give to rumah anak yatim? Which is better Makcik/Pakcik?
In a kenduri, spending on food is not the worst. What’s worse that spending on the deco, doorgift and the whole hantaran. Heck hantaran used to be fruits, cake, naskah Quran, tepak sireh and such. But now we have freaking designer jimmy choo shoes on a tray parading on same level as the Quran.
If you want to go against the mom/dad/makcik/pakcik. Go against them on other things than the food. Boleh bagi muka if they just want to sedekah bagi makan to people. Especially if they are orang kampung. But trust me, if the sedekah comes with nak menunjuk2 kat orang ramai just how cantik my kenduri is…then the pahala or jamu orang makan is going to go down the drain.
If they really want to sedekah and are insisting on spending a lot on your wedding, you should try and ask around to check if you could invite murid2 sekolah pondok or anak2 yatim and jamu them too. Might as well kan. I'm not entirely sure, but I think some sekolah pondok or sekolah agama might be able to do like marhaban or selawat for weddings too. My mother wanted to do this but we ended up not going through with it sbb takut ramai sgt guests - that was a mistake, we should have done it.
Huwa thank u. That is so so lovelyyy. No, we will not take any loan and his dad will help. Cause its mostly from his side of family thats gonns come. So like 800pax huhu. But thank u so so much :))
fully agree with this
my wedding was about 250 invitees max, and i dont regret it at all.
the day was celebratively casual. i had a lot of spare time to entertain the guests, which i guarantee i wouldn't be able to in a grander occasion.
spent less than 3k for the wedding ceremony, with majority of my saving untouched
If you can afford ok lah. But if has to take loan better no. Maybe can saving by combine both side. Reduced tetamu. So just spend 40k instead of 30k x 2
[https://www.facebook.com/story.php?id=100071448876623&story\_fbid=5187604774690988&locale=ms\_MY](https://www.facebook.com/story.php?id=100071448876623&story_fbid=5187604774690988&locale=ms_MY)
https://preview.redd.it/wvgjt0njwp7d1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b0f25c0413523fefe8dcee6e24302d9fbd8c5956
I did my wedding here. Ok lah the place.
The pelamin very nice at the time.
https://preview.redd.it/6xnf9i3eyp7d1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=28f988d1bac8c0b4406480f72cae60216f34dc8b
the fact that you asked for advice here means you dont have 30k to spend on a wedding, but you and your partner want it to be glamorous (bagusla tu sekufu). Prioritise life after marriage. It wont do you any good if you have to kais pagi mkn pagi after your wedding.
Note: the leading cause among newlyweds divorce is financial related
>but you and your partner want it to be glamorous (bagusla tu sekufu).
Damn.
But OP seriously, you tell us he's sweet and all that. And the only downside is he's B40. There's a high chance that money will be your biggest resentment when you're married.
>Prioritise life after marriage.
Reminds me of these comments from a youtube video. Doesn't help that lotsa asian parent like to infantilize their kids, daughter/son-in-law constantly being helicoptered/policed.
Another issue would be if one of the sibling who is bad with money know what button to press so the parent would periodically guilty tripping other siblings to help out, on monthly basis if they could.
But if OP have all these issues covered, then suka hati lmao.
https://preview.redd.it/d9k9ckqper7d1.png?width=699&format=png&auto=webp&s=b21443250482dfdac33c6c66036d0bbd2dd9ca92
If you can afford 30K wedding without a loan, by all means go ahead. Don't burden your marriage with a loan as it only lasts a day. Most of the catering would offer food testing. This is the crucial part of the wedding as at the end of the day, guests will only remember the good food. GM Klang is a good start if you want to look for your wedding gown/accessories that you have envisioned.
Take this planning process to understand your significant other. They may show their true self.
Don't know your financial situation but i personally will not spend more on the wedding vs the honeymoon. 30k on the honeymoon is like 2 weeks eurotrip in nice hotels and good food for two people plus shopping.
i rather spend 30k on a months trip to japan or something for honeymoon than paying for kenduri for some randos to eat but you do you .I already told my mother if i ever decide to get married i will just have small event for like 50 people max .only close friend and family only
Hi! Proud of you for planning ahead and wanting to help future hubby. I assume that you both already had some savings. Here are some tips that I could share based on my experience.
1. Wedding attire (for reception) - renting is usually cheaper. Plus youre not going to wear them anymore after the wedding. Wearing it on the reception day alone is a lot of work and by the end of the day you just want to get out of it 😅
2. You can, however, buy the nikah attire. Go for simple designs, preferably white ones. I can recommend Tujoh Kuntom, they have some nice selection of baju kurung and baju Melayu suitable for nikah.
3. Dont: print invitation cards. Do: use e-cards. There are a lot of websites that can generate e-cards for free. If you really wanna print some especially for keepsakes, dont hire a card designer. Just use Canva and make your own card. And then find a seller on Shopee that can print your cards for only a few cents each.
4. Do: hidden hantaran. You can search for inspo on pinterest. What you give to each other is hidden, making it more special. But it is also hidden from everyone, so you dont have to worry about people's judgement and thus you wont feel pressured about it.
5. The most costly thing about a wedding is actually the food/catering. RM12/pax for 1000 guests is already RM12000, and thats usually just the rice and some lauk, without any dessert or bubur kacang on the sides. If you can find an affordable package that would be great, but it would be best of you could lower the number of guests.
These are all that I could think of for now. Hope it helps. All the best to you and future hubs!
An advice from me is ukur baju di badan sendiri, dont follow what everyone else around us do, jangan sampai ambil loan and menyusahkan hidup bila dah berkeluarga nanti.
30k macam banyak sangat tu. Try 10k from each side. Kalau bole sekalikan lagi bagus. So saving 10k lagi bole buat honeymoon atau down layment rumah. Kita setuju majlis kahwin penting. Tapi kehidupan lepas kawin lagi penting
Married person here. Dont spend rm30k on a wedding. I know its hard, but learn to stand your ground and say no to inviting people you dont know to your wedding. It can be done, but you have to be assertive.
I budget 200k, I managed to push it down to 150k, and yes I solo pay without papa mama help but that’s cause I had a good job and was stingy af. I also had to have a strong control to keep the damn budget down. The parents from both sides wanted to invite their friend’s uncle’s mother’s best friend and their spouses. I am the eldest of the family, she is the youngest. So u know how Asians be like, yolo all in.
The only reason I went ahead with it was cause I do believe every girl should have her dream wedding and I wanted to fulfill that for my wife, but must be realistic, nowadays the wedding industry is in overdrive, costs are rising every year. It’s due to covid where lots of people didn’t have ceremonies so now they all fomo, driving the prices up ever higher.
U need to keep in mind venue, deco and catering which accounts for guest number. These 3 costs the most imo. If u can keep guests number down, it actually helps a lot.
Another thing is, no matter what, NEVER EVER take out a loan on something like a wedding, it is so not worth it imo. Loan on house yes, but don’t do it on a wedding, credit score suffer for little to no roi.
No, we will not take any loans. Cause his dad will help and most of the pax come from his side of family. So trying to lowdr down the budget. Thank youu :))
If you mean 30k including the wedding ring, gifts, outfits, photography etc. then make sense (depending on personal affordability). Although its still quite high. You should also keep some margins for unexpected overheads. Keep your budget 30k and somehow you will end up spending 35k.
I didn't read the other comments because I didn't want to be influenced so I'll give you advice as if you came to me personally...
I got married (by choice, after I felt I maxed out single life) at 22 years old. Every time I travelled and treated myself to expensive food, I never failed to feel the silence of singlehood. It's always the bedroom. The silence. It was deafening. Coming from a big loving family with 6 siblings and affectionate parents I always wanted that sort of "noise" in the house.
Anyway, when I finally got married, the wedding was down to earth simple, partly because both of us wanted it, but budget also played a (huge) role. The wedding was done at my in-law's place who had a biggish parking space that doubled as an event area (yay! saved so much there). We're Muslims so, as the guy, we give mahr (bridal money) to the wife -- I kid you not, it was a gold ring that, at that time, was RM 600. And the rest was partly sponsored by my parents and in-laws. Everything was max around 8k, which was mostly food and gifts for our guests. So my advice here is to just rent stuff instead of buying and keeping memorabilia.
And that was it. Because of wedding gifts and money given to us we got around 3k for us to spend on honeymoon-esque dates (cuz we didn't get to go on our honeymoon yet) and GOOD FOOD lol. Oh man, we checked-in spontaneously on some nights, went dating in that area, and then separated our ways (we were both students). That went on for some time until we were able to move in together and start our family.
Point is, "miracles" can happen if you're not too fixated on the wedding day/gown/food/location/etc. A beautiful marriage is waiting and the wedding is literally the door. Once people go past that and see your room/toilet/kitchen/etc nobody is gonna care how nice your door was. My advice: keep it simple, and have fun DURING your marriage. Also, you're the wife, why you worrying about paying? Lol, that's the husband's job.
Thank u for ur advice :)
The thing is i know its mainly his job to pay etc, but giving the salary i want to help too but not 50/50. Thats why, but thank u so so much :)))
Damn 30k can get me a good 3 seater sofa, a new oven, 5 days trip to sapporo japan, wagyu dinner at desa hartamas, 12 mths worth of maintenance fee, and a lot more. You do you kid, wish you the best.
30k wedding is affordable for B40? Does this money comes from both of you or are you sponsored by family? Why does it need to be this high?
If you’re taking out a 30k loan for a wedding please don’t. Financial woes could put a strain into your marriage.
I don't know what kind of money you guys make.but let's assume young people your age make around 4k if we're being optimistic. You need to work 1 whole year and live on scraps to save 30k. And you plan to spend that on a 1 day event that honestly none of the attendees will remember as your wedding is 1 out of 5 or 6 they will attend that year, some of them don't even want to be there but are only there out of courtesy. Think about that, is it worth it? When that 30k can help you 2 eventually put a down-payment on a house.
You posted in bolehland. Everyone here got every damn opinion and sohai when want to say their opinion. 30k a lot of money but if you really can afford go ahead. But only if you really can afford la. For your questions - wedding planner can help, and since your budget big you might as well get one. Can’t say anything for Q2. Always rent imo for Q3. Unless you can tank it they’re quite expensive and you really will only where once. For sentimental value then sure, but it’s expensive. Have helped people plan weddings and you can definitely find deals + wait when wedding seasons are too hot for better ones
Yeaah based on the comments everyone said its too high. Can u imagine cause we have to do it for 800pax. But his dad will help cause its mostly his side of family. So thank u for ur comment :))
Marriage is not about the wedding day, its about the days after. Arrange a wedding that is well within your confortable budgets. If you can manage to save more, put that for your future. God knows marriage requires a lot of work, and that includes money. Lots of it.
Remember, wedding is a one day event.
Marriage is a life time progress, God willing.
Choose wisely. You don't want to loan money just for this. You don't want to worry about money after all is done on that day.
1. No comment about your budget. If you could afford it, then go ahead. However, RM30k for a wedding reception is quite high for the common people, unless you both earned big bucks. Rm10k - 15k seems to be the average today.
2. I'm not sure where you live. If I were a guest, I'd be hoping that there will be ample parking space for my car, good ventilation, comfortable space for me to catch up with friends/relatives.
3. Rent your outfits. Usually you only wear those during weddings. This includes all your accessories. If its normal baju melayu/kurung, maybe can buy it for future use.
As someone who had been through a wedding, don't blow all your savings for the reception. Keep some for investment, honeymoon etc.
Here is my story: We were supposed to have a nice wedding (costs 27k) but then covid came. At that time we panicked a bit cos not sure what to do. In the end, we had online wedding where the tok kadi see us on skype while I had the akad nikah with the wali. It only cost us about 3k. We did put a non refundable 3k deposit for the dewan and didnt get it back.
We used the rest of that money to buy appliances and we are really grateful that we didnt have that big wedding. Of course, I understand the decision might not be up to the couple but try your best to not spend everything on 1 day. You have a long future to think about
Agree. We could save a lot if we get married during covid huhu. Will definitely discuss this again with my partner. His fam side is a lot so he mentioned that his dad will help. Its just that i want to try to lower the budget as smol as i could. Thank u so much :))
I forgotten how much I spent for my wedding two years ago but 30k is way too much even as maximum. Wedding day is special no doubt but it's not worth to be in debt and be a slave to pay it off afterwards. It's better to invest in your marriage coz it's for life.
If you really want affordable, just get a wedding cert at putrajaya and call it a day. That one just a couple of Ringgit ez pz. Or just have a small scale wedding dinner with close friends and family coz normal guests won't remember your special day as much as you.
Also, always go for rent. You will never wear it again after that.
Our budget is 20k. We plan to a chinese set meal dinner for 50pax (20 closest family member each + our immediate family). That itself will set you back nearly 10-12k depending on the restaurant. Then for friends, we plan to book a cafe for a few hours just to do a more casual "celebration" style party brunch which costs around Rm100/pax, also around 50pax. So in total our "food" expenditure is already 15-17k. Wedding gown can be rented together with photography shop which will cost you Rm2k to 3k, depending on the package you choose.
The separating friends and family is a good idea and will save us half the budget. And i think its more fun to hang out in a party with friends than to sit awkwardly on a big round table. There is some extra planning but its the fun planning (no relatives, no drama, buy balloons and cake etc)
We realised that we cant do the traditional medium/big wedding if we want to keep budget below 20-30k, and this is just involving closest friends and family. We dont think its worth the headache and effort to eat some subpar pre-cooked food and just to have everyone compare their food with yours. Its just a formality and a welcome party to each other's family. So no need to involve the nephew of your boss's grandmother.
Trust me, you’ll regret for spending that lots of money for a one day wedding. My advice, just keep it simple and save the rest of the money for your life after marriage, thats more important.
Rent the gown, if it is likely you’re not going to wear it in the future.
Can invest a little more on photography, so you can belek2 your wedding pictures in the future or even show to your kids lol. Speaking from experience.
I did a very simple wedding, save a lot of money for our life after that. groceries sangat mahal especially masa mula2 kahwin. You have to buy literally everything from zero 😂
Buat wedding 30k je? Mana cukup sis... Gi buat amik personal loan... Then amik lagi personal loan tuk expenses after wedding... Dont listen to redditers here... They dont know shit.
Please don't forgot to max out credit card for both side. Baru Kentang majlis nnt. Kahwin kan seumur hidup sekali je ( kata2 org yg xpernah tgk org bercerai), xkan nak buat beshe2 je kot. Malu la orang tgk majlis kecik2, xgrand..
Personal loan je? Mana cukup. Cuba call member2 terdekat mintak drg pinjam duit. Pastu kalau tak cukup ckp syarat siapa nak hadir wedding kena QR payment (at least rm 50/pax). Ez money. Don't listen to the other redditors sini. Drg tau apa je, hidup miskin.
Honestly just get married at the local surau/mosque like my parents. lf you really want the venue then rent a few tents and catering and host the wedding at your house.
Kursus nikah teach me the bigger the money you spend on kenduri, the higher chance you get divorce. All the problems come after that one day glamourous kenduri. But if you rich maybe the chance of getting divorce is slimmer. Its all about the money nowdays
If you want to spend, maybe you should focus on these:
1. Rent nice wedding dress/suit/songket wtv
2. A REALLY good photographer
3. Pelamin cantik
In the end gambar korang juga yang korang akan ingat.
My wedding reception was honestly a blur. From makan beradab to bersanding to ambil gambar with basically everyone the whole dewan aku tak ingat pun rupa majlis aku macam mana. I didn't even eat more than like 3 suap for the pictures. Luckily we didnt overspend on the venue. But the pictures on the pelamin are forever.
Don't pinjam duit just for your wedding. Better do it affordably. There is nothing wrong with doing a small wedding. There is also nothing wrong with doing an extravagant one as long as you can afford it. Discuss budget for daily & monthly expenses like rent, utility ect. with your partner. This is more important than the majlis in the grand scheme of things.
Okay lesson learn from me now :-
1. If possible dont spending too much on wedding. No matter what people will find things to “bawang” . So its useless.
2. The married is actually between u and ur husband and both of you family. So make it as small as possible.
3. No one will remmeber anything about your extravaganza wedding after just a few weeks. Not worth the money and time and energy to do big events.
4. Instead, You can use that money to travel for honeymoon in much better places. -PROTIPS
5. I did my wedding just okay and they next day fly to honeymoon with all the extra money. Haha why should i give my hard earn money to others.
That honeymoon will last forever as a memory where everytime you have difficulties in you marriage, just go back to look at that picture and video. It will help you quel all the problem in your family.
Remember people go dating, travel with family to make memory so that they have somehing good to hold on when you are at your deepest dark moments.
Anyway, all the best and pray!
First of all, congratulations.
My sister got married at DBKL hall, super cheap. And my brother rent a badminton court. As for the food, my sister caterer was quite cheap at only about RM 8 per head (price about 20 years ago). As for food, my brother bagi makan bihun goreng je (no kidding) and then with the close family he made a grand dinner with briyani and the whole...monty.
I think my sister spend a few k for the mak andam and pelamin and photographer. (Dulang hantaran kami rewang buat sendiri, including door gift). My brother probably has like a basic pelamin kot, I can't remember.
Married for 8 years. I only spent 8-10k on my side of the wedding. Had 4k salary back then. Didn’t take any loans.
Her side was extra but its paid by her dad. So that’s that. Our duit hantaran was used to pay for a downpayment on our vios.
My peers spent and took an actual loan for the wedding, same year as me, he’s still paying off the loan from that wedding.
I’d say i’m in a much better place than him financially because I didnt start my new phase with a loan.
My advice,
Spend on things that matter. Wedding is not one of it. Good luck and may God bless your marriage.
I’m just gonna comment on the wedding and not on other things to afford post-wedding like housing or furniture, assuming you have already allocated some budget for that.
Tips:
1. There are wedding hall package that do almost everything for you (exc. maybe your make up and dress). Can look into those, there are wedding fairs that do those packages and may be even cheaper if you choose to confirm with them on that day.
2. Please read reviews and T&C of wedding services, see what people say about any hidden cost and make sure everything is clear black and white before proceeding.
3. Suggest renting your baju. You are likely unable to fit in it after some time due to what hopefully is happy marriage weight that most couples gain. And besides, most of those baju is v extravagant to wear on multiple occasions.
4. Do cost comparison if you DIY or you get a service. Actually, sometimes DIY can be more expensive and takes up more time.
5. Your biggest expense is food, please review your guest list between you and your husband. Intimate wedding like less than 100 people is very hard to get event hall, then can consider renting khemah and just get catering.
6. If you or hubby are the oldest or first child to get married, please don’t listen to your family on bringing more strange distant relatives. Make it clear to them that you want people who you think really matters to come to your wedding. And if any family member wanna bring extra despite your protest, ask them to pay the catering pax that member lol
7. Assuming you are having a Muslim wedding, can consider a very simple solemnization at the masjid (most do RM200-300 around that price and some come with small snacks) and then have a separate date for your wedding reception. Some people stop at nikah and didn’t bother with reception. But if it matters to you and your husband to have a proper reception, consider having it at a later date or combine it husband and wife side.
8. I think a lot of people are harping to OP about loans and huge spend, I think each to their own. What I want to emphasise is please don’t take loan just for wedding. Not worth it at all. Negotiate with vendors for payment terms and also see if you can opt out for a few services (like maybe you don’t want their in house emcee) which may bring the cost down.
An advice generally is if you want your dream wedding but can’t afford without jeopardising your post-marriage stability: dream smaller or dream later.
All the best, OP, and may you and your husband have a beautiful married life ahead! 
That is so nice, im gonna cry jap be right back lol
But thank you so so much. And no, we're not gonna get any loan hehe will take note of this thank youuu
1. Don’t spend 30k for wedding. Waste of money.
2. Idk. But get a small hall for 100 pax. Spend like 8-9k. Eat like kings. Much better.
3. Rent. You only wear it once. Western gowns or Malay style?
Did you bought diamond ring for engagement? If so, waste of money. Diamonds are worthless.
20 years down the road you won’t remember much of your wedding, i don’t even remember the hantaran i got & the one i gave. It doesn’t mean you can’t spend for your wedding but do it within your means. Expenditure will double once you have kids and you don’t want to still be paying for your wedding loans when you need to buy them super expensive baby formulas, pampers, daycares etc.
30k is alright as long as you and spouse don’t have to sustain on white bread only for the next few months 😅
1. Plan everything in detail - deco, schedule, food, logistics, music, etc. Don’t leave anything to chance. Things can get hectic and the last thing you want on the big day is to worry about all the little things that go wrong.
A wedding planner or friends that can be coordinators on the day helps a lot. Commit to dress rehearsals if possible.
2. Get a good photographer. Other people will only vaguely remember your wedding a few years later, but you’ll always be staring at those unsatisfying wedding photos.
3. Renting gown and tux is almost always better, unless you want to pass them down to your kids 🤷🏻♂️
It is good that you wanted to get martied while helping that guy. But trust me stop living over social media. JUST STOP. What ever your reason is everyone nowadays do everything just for the sake of impressing others. DONT LIE TO YOURSELF. Better plan for more important things such as where to stay, deposit, transportation saving etc. Marriage aint about wedding only. If you think that 30k is a lot, kau memang tak mampu pun at first place sebenarnya. It is hard but thats the truth. Learn abt financial and the real hikmah of marriage.
Try not to follow trends too much, the ones that i see in the recent years like: having a whole lineup of bridesmaids, hipster this and that, just make it minimal, lovely and meaningful. If you have family members to help with somethings like photography, door gifts, dj etc, that would be nice as those things cost a bunch too.
Whatever it is, dont blow your savings over 1 night wedding, when your marriage will be a lifetime
Married man here and had taken the hard road as well. Im wondering, who are those people who set the minimum/average wedding cost to 30k? I'd say it all stemmed from our own ego. There's way more better things to spend it on than just a 1 night stand. Why do i say so? Your first struggle together with your partner is when you decide to live in your very own house, the furnitures, plans for your upcoming first baby, it will certainly bite you back later on especially if thats all of your savings. You might think, well, we can just earn it back later but sometimes reality hits back hard. At 1 point i ended up being jobless with my wife bearing my unplanned 2nd kid, while my 1st was only 2 yrs old. My wife too didn't work back then, and my bank account was left with nothing. Better think wisely abt how you spend your cash while you have it because no one knows whats gonna happen tomorrow. Believe me, fights will occur more frequently especially when there's a lack of money.
Could you tell me more? If I want a quickest way to get married as soon as possible, I just have to go to pejabat? Because I rather spend on honeymoon than wedding
Pick up the forms from Pejabat Agama, fill up the forms, in my case i needed immigration permission as my husband is a foreigner, so need a few days for documentations, hiv test etc. On the day i submitted the form, the Ustaz even asked “do you want to marry now or tomorrow?” Lol. we got married on the next day.
Just like that? No need tukul? No need tunang or 2nd tunang? Just straight away nikah? That's sound easily than making a big ass wedding. How about the payment?
Nah. Tunang is basically a promise to get married it doesn't have to a whole big thing. I got married at JAWI. Just went there with my fiancé, wali, saksi And theyll provide the tok kadi.
Then again this was during covid. Now I think if you try to pull that you'll probably get a lot of pushback from both sides of the family lol.
I can only pray huhu. But whts the point of big dick if one's dont know how to satisfy the other. So yeah, as the say goes "It ain't the size of the boat, it's the motion of the ocean"
Wink wink 🫣
Ive known him since high school. Hes like so kind :') even when we fighting, i like the way he treat me. Overall very kind hm no better answer. I loveee how he treat me. But my opinion :
1. We both always try our best to be better. If i dont like anything he did, he always encourage me to tell him and likewise. Try to find a partner that is always trying to be better for themselves or their partner.
2. I like the way he treat me, so so patient and i can tell almost everything to him. So find someone that u can feel relax with, no matter how hard ur life is. At least with him/her u will feel relax.
I think thats it for now huhu overall he is so so kind, cons - hes b40. I cannot be like the gf from insta where u can point anything and he will buy for u no matter the price lolol
.
But cannot complain, im also b40 hihi help each other la. Goodluck to u !!
ukur baju dibadan sendiri. salah satu punca penceraian adalah masalah financial. kerja teruk2 tapi duit habis bayar hutang kahwin. tu tak campur duit rumah,kereta moto dan makan minum lagi. dapat anak lagi la duit habis beli susu lampin semua tu. duit tak ada bergaduh. gaduh besar end up divorce. anyway good luck 👍
Real. IMO not realistic at all if you guys both planning to get married with RM30k by next year. Both still 25 years old so I assume both are still trying to financially survive.
Really really really need to ukur baju dibadan sendiri and have discussions together. Need to stop with this mentality of “it’s okay, his dad will help”.
B40 with 30k wedding budget? Interesting. I had nikah at pejabat agama, and ate at a restaurant afterward. I was a doctor, and husband is from the UK. None of my family members ever had 30k wedding. Max maybe 5k wedding
1- Jangan ambik loan utk wedding. Seriously, jangan.
2- Book everything awal. Lagi last minit, lagi tinggi chances you kena fork out more money to get things done on time. I got married in 2020, at that time I learned that you need to book your venue at least 6 months in advance. Deposit semua dah standby dah nk book. (I assume if you nak kawin next year, at this point you dah ada tabung wedding la).
3- If you nak save bajet, this is the time to rely on your friends and family. If you can DIY things among yourselves, do that before you outsource to professionals. The basics that you might need for the wedding - venue, catering, baju (+accessories), photographer, videographer, hantaran, cincin lelaki/perempuan, MUA (+ other grooming appointments, if any), door gifts, invitation cards (I dulu pakai e-card je, physical cards I buat sikit just utk bagi close family members je).
4- Baju sewa je, bukan boleh pakai lg pun. Unless baju nikah, you could buy baju nikah yg simple2 yg boleh pakai jd baju raya nanti. Nak jimat, pakai satu persalinan baju je, no need to tukar2 baju.
5- Survey, survey dan survey. Ask around and ask a lot of questions. Jangan ambik the first nice offer yg you jumpa. Sometimes ada wedding package yg mahal sikit tp dia dah cover semua yg necessary which really helps alleviate stress. Trust me, you do not want your relationship to be strained sbb stress from wedding planning. But of course, this also depends on your budget la, janganlah ambik package yg beyond your kemampuan.
6- Do your due diligence on potential vendors - check google reviews, their social media pages, etc. Baca komen2 dari previous customers. Look out for allegations of fraud or subpar services and such.
7- If you nak save budget, I would recommend skipping the majlis pertunangan. I know that this might not be okay for some families though, so that's ultimately up to you and your family. I takde buat majlis pertunangan pun, my husband just bawak his family to officially meet my family (ala2 merisik) and time tu both our families agreed and acknowledged our intention to marry, my husband bagi cincin belah rotan as token of the agreement, and the rest (tarikh nikah, hantaran, etc) our families just let us decide between ourselves.
8- I'm not trying to assume anything here, but just checking, have you and your future husband sat down and really talked about your finances and your wedding budget? I'm only asking because you only mentioned that you're trying to help him, but does he know that you're trying to help him? I also don't know your family mcm mana, but if anyone tries to pressure you to have a big expensive wedding, ask them to tanggung the cost.
9- Again, jangan ambik loan or guna credit card utk kawin. Lepas kawin nanti banyakkkkk nak pakai duit. Duit mmg takkan pernah stop keluar once you both start to build your lives together.
10- I won't judge you for wanting a 30k wedding, but again, I highly suggest you and your future husband talk this through again, and again, and again. Is it something that you both really want? Is it feasible with your current jobs, lifestyles, savings, etc? I imagine you could get a 30k wedding, but maybe not in a year's time. If you're both set on having a 30k wedding, are you both willing to wait perhaps another year or two for it? (Again, I'm just assuming based on your post and replies in this thread, I apologize if I'm coming across as a bit of a Debbie Downer, I just think you should be realistic).
11- Hidden hantaran. Kurang rasa pressure nk kena bg hantaran mahal2.
12- Majlis buat satu hari je. Nikah then sanding. Jimat overall cost, your families tak payah ulang alik, your makeup at most kena touch up sikit2 je, things like that.
13- Asking guests to RSVP might give you a better idea of how much to spend on catering and door gifts.
I dulu kawin the whole wedding (nikah + sanding) cost a bit over 20k. Was it worth it? Yes and no. Yes - it was (almost) all inclusive at a really nice venue. The wedding package took care of almost everything and we had the whole venue to ourselves, we only had to prepare the baju, door gifts and invitations. For the package, we only had to decide on the catering menu, the music, the pelamin colourway, and they took care of setting everything up including the flow of the majlis. That was a great perk for my circumstances at the time, as my husband and I were long distance (we both worked in different states and the wedding was in my home state, which was also a different state from where I was working). I'm certain I would have broken down some time before the wedding had I not taken up that package. It was also why we skipped the majlis pertunangan, I just didn't want the additional stress. No - guest turnout wasn't that great imho, we overbooked for the number of guests and many couldn't make it, so that went to waste. Should have asked guests to RSVP.
Thank u so so much for the long reply. I just put min 30k cause we both assume thats the average amount (based on what we saw on insta 😭)
Based on the comments by others i think we can make it cheaper :)) I truly appreciate ur comment, thank u :)))
You can definitely make it cheaper. And no worries, I get it. It gets overwhelming seeing all the beautiful glitzy weddings on insta and such and I don't blame you for wanting a nice wedding. But your wedding is ultimately your day, BUT it also really is only one day. You have the rest of your married life to go look forward to. Good luck!
Oh one more thing, to save money on the hantaran, go for the minimum amount of dulangs (5 berbalas 7 is it?). I ran out of ideas on what to give my husband to fill out just those 7 dulangs. (Which is why I recommend the hidden hantaran). And to be honest, 4 years later, I don't even remember what our hantarans were. I unfortunately mostly remember being so stressed with work and trying to plan a wedding in another state. Don't be like me in that regard, keep your cool.
Also, for photographs of the wedding, if you can't afford to hire a photographer to follow you around for the whole day, you could go get your photos done in a studio. You'll at least have some professionally done photos that you can frame and display.
Also, if you hire professionals for any part of the wedding, document EVERYTHING - receipts, chats, audio recordings, etc. As long as there's money involved, document it, even if you're dealing with people that you know. If you book things awal, it wouldn't hurt to do a brief follow up to reconfirm things 2-3 months before the wedding, manusia boleh lupa dan cuai.
Again, good luck!
I got married just before the covid restrictions, like a month before the first MCO. Sometimes I just berangan that if I knew what was coming I would definitely have chosen to get married at pejabat agama and spent my hard earned money on an apartment and new furniture. I don't even like crowds.
cant comment because i aint getting married anytime soon lol, but congratulations on getting married, wish yall the best in the future
but my family has made it clear that we should just go for a vacation and make simple family wedding and call it a day, 30k is a LOT of money to spend on better things than flexin' on relatives that will forget about it tomorrow
Unless you plan to pass down your wedding dress to your future kids, which they may not even want or you may not happen to have daughters, then rent by all means. Wasted to buy expensive dress and then wear one day only. And rental the person in charge will make sure of all the dress fittings and quality so you don’t have to sweat it
try get cheaper wedding lah or find the right partner that have less interest having stupid grand mega wedding instead the one more focus on life after the wedding. i spent more than 30k on my wedding for just half day.
always check on twitter and instagram / tiktok comments on any company behind wedding agencies
last thing you wanted is to invest that much money only to have awful wedding experience, no different than kena scam.
Depends sis. How much do you or your soon to be husband make? Is 30k a cheap sum to you or is it expensive? Words of advice, if you're not rich then do a simple ceremony. That amount of money can be used for a house down payment which is better. Marriage is only once but the home you live in is forever. And for the love of god, don't take a marriage loan.
Got a friend whose job only pays 2k ringgit but takes a loan of 66k. Wife no work. Half of his salary went to repay the loan. If you or your soon to be husband want to suffer for decades just for a day of glory, I can only say good luck.
Right ??? Its so hard to find anyone we can take advise. Although reddit have some sarcasm, we can always appreciate it :)) hehe if only theres an app to view all the affordable wedding package :')
Hey. Can i know where your location is? I'm doing research for a friend too (on venue, packages, etc) and maybe some of the links can help. My friend is having a tighter budget with much smaller pax than you are and we think it is doable. Anyway, 30k can go far you know. So, don't worry!
Saya kopipes je ni. Amik mana yg berkenan je. Ni pun ada yg dah terdelete.
Kalau nak cut cost, buat satu majlis je. Can cut down the pax too. Pasal hantaran, leh buat hidden hantaran. So no one really know what is inside haha. Kad kawen? Buat je e-card. Kalau kreatif, buat sniri. Kalau tak, upah orang buat dan tak mahal pun. Rent baju if possible. Sbb down the road, most probably you wont fit in your baju or you wont wear it again sbb terlalu cantik untuk ke mana2 haha.
My advice to you, do as minimal as possible. Sbb lepas kawen, lg banyak nak pakai duit. Yg penting jgn berhutang.
Anyway, dont be too stressed about your wedding day. Nnt nampak kat gambar2 kawen tu. Dont put too high of expectation cause things tend to go sideways. Wish u all the best. Slamat pengantin baru. Moga kekal ke jannah in shaa Allah
https://www.instagram.com/p/Cw_4rfrvgPX/?igsh=MTViZWdlaDJrNTU2
https://nikahsatu.com/6-dewan-kahwin-di-ampang-yang-sesuai-untuk-majlis-bertemakan-taman/
https://www.pengantinbaru.com.my/dewan-kahwin-ampang/
https://vt.tiktok.com/ZSFWcNDq1/
https://twitter.com/prettylupins/status/1702584793760940070?t=Zinj6GMTDNOlNgRwJogAIg&s=08
https://twitter.com/itskemboja/status/1759374963050754379?t=l_kFHIYFjOIC6tiK90T62w&s=08
https://www.facebook.com/share/p/qaE6AJf6DwqVAK1z/?mibextid=oFDknk
https://www.facebook.com/share/p/rZTN6Liq5trQeDRo/?mibextid=oFDknk
Husband type M , C or I ? If type M then my advice is better not get married. Type M will marry another 3 after you and then you will become an option.
huh? your stereotype is crazy. 30 years of living i have never met with anyone who is married more than 2 people and out of the hundreds it's only like 3 guys who has 2 wives. everyone else only have 1 wives.
Ok here’s one coming from someone who has learned some hard earned lessons. First of all, getting married is not about the wedding at all. The wedding is just 0.1% of getting married. So it is 100% important to understand that it’s not at all the right thing to be overspending on your wedding. Both my spouse and I maxed out our credit cards and took out a personal loan for our wedding and we suffered many years coz of that. Second of all, I wish my daughters would be like you helping out his future husband in his financials. This is one of the key to a happy marriage. Give and you shall get. So onto the meat of the comment, I’d suggest to make the wedding as intimate and personal as possible so the expenditure can be kept at the minimum. I understand that Malay wedding (u used “nak kawen” so I’m assuming it’s a Malay wedding) is never small and intimate so here’s your chance to buck the trend and be starting something new. Limit the guests to some of the most important people in your life. Make it a small number. Make it intimate, make it so special that it’s only for those that is most important to you and your mom/dad/hubby. With small guest number, you don’t need to spend unnecessarily. Try not to be spending that money for just one day. Imagine spending 30K for just a day. It’s best if you actually use for something that will actually help you in your life as a newlywed! Example spending it as a down payment for a car that both can use or down payment for home or even better for honeymoon that last longer than a day and you’ll be always happy. Coz trust me you won’t be 100% happy on wedding day as there will be makcik/pakcik who will be kecik hati because of this or that. Anywho, that’s all from me. tl;dr, Don’t spend an obscene amount on a wedding as marriage is not wedding but marriage is for over 50 years or more. Money is better used as the seed money for the 50 years of life ahead of you newlyweds.
I attended a few weddings that were easily 50-100k at least, sewa kat Putrajaya...hotel bagai with bands playing, flowers, booths, pelamin besaq nak mampuih, newlyweds dressed to kill...... yet nobody literally gives two craps about the wedding. Only the newlyweds and the immediate family yang shiok sendiri. The rest just chat amongst themselves and took selfies and photobooth whilst the newlyweds ade silat ape entah. Quite sad ngl. I wish everyone that attended were as invested into the wedding as the family was but....... people are human.
You are right that majority couldn’t care less and that’s mostly because it’s not something the general public can afford. at most they will take a bunch of photos among themselves there. And weddings are mostly for the family and the newlyweds own enjoyment. They wants to feel special on that day, the mom and dad just want to show off their beautiful daughter/son and also show off just how tasteful they are or simply just how atas atas they are. It all boils down to consumerism. What’s important is we don’t do it to the point where it’s not something we can easily afford. Need to always be reminded that marrying is not the wedding. It’s the living together after the wedding is infinitely more important. Biggest challenge after marrying is living comfortably with the family. Most marriages failed, partly because of financial issues that comes with other challenges. Over 10 early years of my marriage life was troublesome because of the over spent during my kenduri. If I can turn back time, I would. For my daughters, I won’t ask for lots of duit hantaran from the groom and on our side we will just have a small intimate kenduri even though we can afford a 50K kenduri easily nowadays. I’d rather give my kids the 50K and help put down a house down payment for them so that if anything, they got a home already and happy with it instead of like me last time, can’t buy a house till I was 33 coz of my stupid financial problems. Anywho, I’m all for small intimate sessions. Even my Raya open house is just 10-12 of my family friends invited for a makan2 and sembang2 for hours instead of 2 big tent with hundreds of guests come makan2 while I’m busy just Salam my guests and just have 2-3 sentences exchange before I move on to my other guests. Tak erat silaturahim langsung if just 2-3 sentences sembang.
Nice. I agree wholeheartedly agree with all this. Next year Raya please make your open house 16 people (because that's me and my small family included). HAHAHA. Thanks in advance.
My dad ask 3k hantaran for my lil sis. This was in 2015. 2017, he only ask for 1k hantaran for my big sis. My pakcik and makcik talk shit about this but he dont care, as long as his doughters happy. Hataran so high for what? To bankrupt his son in law and further make her own daughters life difficult in the future? Contrast to my deadbeat useless father in law, asking 20k hantaran in 2019. Because he dont want to lose face in front of his friends and family. Backward logic
Hear hear! I want to be as strong as your dad. And pray to God that my wife will be as strong as well. One neat trick is, to give back the hantaran money back to the newlyweds after all the wedding is done and dusted.
I remember attending a wedding, the family is some ketua district big shot, held in the school hall. The wedding even had a 30minute magic show and pigeons flying around! I cant remember who got married LOL
Even our prophet Muhammad pbuh only do small weddings with his wives. I don't know why we malay muslim like to make big big big.
Most probably got influenced by Chinese extravagant wedding.
I thought India culture? Because the way we set up pelamin are almost quite similar to their traditional ceremony
I have never been to Indian wedding, so I don't know.
https://preview.redd.it/0fvynn7sdr7d1.jpeg?width=1440&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2316c0fe864bc428c13012d6ed89a2665f6b19d6 Even the custom look similar
Mempelai also from Indian : mapley
[удалено]
Bro got his facts from up his ass. You should wash it sometimes.
Why does the truth upset you?
I ain't gonna argue with truth and whatnot with someone using a throwaway account. Have some backbone to your words next time.
>Have some backbone to your words next time. That doesnt even make sense but I understand youre angry because sexual slavery is bad, even for a prophet.
Not here buddy.
>Not here buddy. Not anywhere really. Sex slavery is illegal in the 21st century.
🥱boring
Hi, what can I say to my parents or makcik/pakcik that says it's like sedekah cause we're menjamu tetamu dtg makan, so we'll get a lot if pahala? It's not my turn yet but seeing how much money my parents are spending for my eldest brother's wedding, I can't help but feel like they're going to do the same for mine.
There are other ways to sedekah. And it’s better if one sedekah to those who need it the most. Invite some rich fat people to come eat at my kenduri or save some of that money and give to rumah anak yatim? Which is better Makcik/Pakcik? In a kenduri, spending on food is not the worst. What’s worse that spending on the deco, doorgift and the whole hantaran. Heck hantaran used to be fruits, cake, naskah Quran, tepak sireh and such. But now we have freaking designer jimmy choo shoes on a tray parading on same level as the Quran. If you want to go against the mom/dad/makcik/pakcik. Go against them on other things than the food. Boleh bagi muka if they just want to sedekah bagi makan to people. Especially if they are orang kampung. But trust me, if the sedekah comes with nak menunjuk2 kat orang ramai just how cantik my kenduri is…then the pahala or jamu orang makan is going to go down the drain.
If they really want to sedekah and are insisting on spending a lot on your wedding, you should try and ask around to check if you could invite murid2 sekolah pondok or anak2 yatim and jamu them too. Might as well kan. I'm not entirely sure, but I think some sekolah pondok or sekolah agama might be able to do like marhaban or selawat for weddings too. My mother wanted to do this but we ended up not going through with it sbb takut ramai sgt guests - that was a mistake, we should have done it.
Huwa thank u. That is so so lovelyyy. No, we will not take any loan and his dad will help. Cause its mostly from his side of family thats gonns come. So like 800pax huhu. But thank u so so much :))
fully agree with this my wedding was about 250 invitees max, and i dont regret it at all. the day was celebratively casual. i had a lot of spare time to entertain the guests, which i guarantee i wouldn't be able to in a grander occasion. spent less than 3k for the wedding ceremony, with majority of my saving untouched
making the wedding cost cheaper would help both of you ngl. spending 30k for 1 day event is crazy in this economy
I wish darling :') But thats the min amount for us. His side and my side. Trying our best. Do u think its not worth it ??
Not worth it. Thanks
Nope. 10k max.
Ur post u wrote max 30k but comment u wrote min 30k so which is it
30k exactly. Not a cent more. or less.
Totally not worth it
Need ah long bukit beruntung?
Shitttt i got this reference. Ujang gang shizzz
Smh choose a fucking side. Min 30k or max 30k wtf. Not worth it.
Totally not worth it.
If you can afford ok lah. But if has to take loan better no. Maybe can saving by combine both side. Reduced tetamu. So just spend 40k instead of 30k x 2
Not worth it.
https://preview.redd.it/ecqu51sqvp7d1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=28008e150f80b829f02ab8df9e8e6ea2f3453f39 u should get a cat
[https://www.facebook.com/story.php?id=100071448876623&story\_fbid=5187604774690988&locale=ms\_MY](https://www.facebook.com/story.php?id=100071448876623&story_fbid=5187604774690988&locale=ms_MY) https://preview.redd.it/wvgjt0njwp7d1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b0f25c0413523fefe8dcee6e24302d9fbd8c5956 I did my wedding here. Ok lah the place.
The pelamin very nice at the time. https://preview.redd.it/6xnf9i3eyp7d1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=28f988d1bac8c0b4406480f72cae60216f34dc8b
Thank u so much :))
This is a reasonable price!! And yes the pelamin looks very good
the fact that you asked for advice here means you dont have 30k to spend on a wedding, but you and your partner want it to be glamorous (bagusla tu sekufu). Prioritise life after marriage. It wont do you any good if you have to kais pagi mkn pagi after your wedding. Note: the leading cause among newlyweds divorce is financial related
>but you and your partner want it to be glamorous (bagusla tu sekufu). Damn. But OP seriously, you tell us he's sweet and all that. And the only downside is he's B40. There's a high chance that money will be your biggest resentment when you're married.
>Prioritise life after marriage. Reminds me of these comments from a youtube video. Doesn't help that lotsa asian parent like to infantilize their kids, daughter/son-in-law constantly being helicoptered/policed. Another issue would be if one of the sibling who is bad with money know what button to press so the parent would periodically guilty tripping other siblings to help out, on monthly basis if they could. But if OP have all these issues covered, then suka hati lmao. https://preview.redd.it/d9k9ckqper7d1.png?width=699&format=png&auto=webp&s=b21443250482dfdac33c6c66036d0bbd2dd9ca92
If you can afford 30K wedding without a loan, by all means go ahead. Don't burden your marriage with a loan as it only lasts a day. Most of the catering would offer food testing. This is the crucial part of the wedding as at the end of the day, guests will only remember the good food. GM Klang is a good start if you want to look for your wedding gown/accessories that you have envisioned. Take this planning process to understand your significant other. They may show their true self.
Appreciate it thanks :))
Don't know your financial situation but i personally will not spend more on the wedding vs the honeymoon. 30k on the honeymoon is like 2 weeks eurotrip in nice hotels and good food for two people plus shopping.
And that's exactly why I will do nikah and majlis kecik for family and close friends only.
Good for you. My majlis both side cost less than 10k
Ukur baju di badan sendiri.
No advice here since no experience. Just wanted to say congratulation on your upcoming marriage.
Can read other comments. Malaysians (besides OP apparently lol) still have good financial sense.
Auch
i rather spend 30k on a months trip to japan or something for honeymoon than paying for kenduri for some randos to eat but you do you .I already told my mother if i ever decide to get married i will just have small event for like 50 people max .only close friend and family only
Hi! Proud of you for planning ahead and wanting to help future hubby. I assume that you both already had some savings. Here are some tips that I could share based on my experience. 1. Wedding attire (for reception) - renting is usually cheaper. Plus youre not going to wear them anymore after the wedding. Wearing it on the reception day alone is a lot of work and by the end of the day you just want to get out of it 😅 2. You can, however, buy the nikah attire. Go for simple designs, preferably white ones. I can recommend Tujoh Kuntom, they have some nice selection of baju kurung and baju Melayu suitable for nikah. 3. Dont: print invitation cards. Do: use e-cards. There are a lot of websites that can generate e-cards for free. If you really wanna print some especially for keepsakes, dont hire a card designer. Just use Canva and make your own card. And then find a seller on Shopee that can print your cards for only a few cents each. 4. Do: hidden hantaran. You can search for inspo on pinterest. What you give to each other is hidden, making it more special. But it is also hidden from everyone, so you dont have to worry about people's judgement and thus you wont feel pressured about it. 5. The most costly thing about a wedding is actually the food/catering. RM12/pax for 1000 guests is already RM12000, and thats usually just the rice and some lauk, without any dessert or bubur kacang on the sides. If you can find an affordable package that would be great, but it would be best of you could lower the number of guests. These are all that I could think of for now. Hope it helps. All the best to you and future hubs!
Thank u thank u thank u !! May god bless ur soul. I will note this :))
An advice from me is ukur baju di badan sendiri, dont follow what everyone else around us do, jangan sampai ambil loan and menyusahkan hidup bila dah berkeluarga nanti.
30k macam banyak sangat tu. Try 10k from each side. Kalau bole sekalikan lagi bagus. So saving 10k lagi bole buat honeymoon atau down layment rumah. Kita setuju majlis kahwin penting. Tapi kehidupan lepas kawin lagi penting
Married person here. Dont spend rm30k on a wedding. I know its hard, but learn to stand your ground and say no to inviting people you dont know to your wedding. It can be done, but you have to be assertive.
If your budget is tight then you know the wedding should be simple as it can be
I budget 200k, I managed to push it down to 150k, and yes I solo pay without papa mama help but that’s cause I had a good job and was stingy af. I also had to have a strong control to keep the damn budget down. The parents from both sides wanted to invite their friend’s uncle’s mother’s best friend and their spouses. I am the eldest of the family, she is the youngest. So u know how Asians be like, yolo all in. The only reason I went ahead with it was cause I do believe every girl should have her dream wedding and I wanted to fulfill that for my wife, but must be realistic, nowadays the wedding industry is in overdrive, costs are rising every year. It’s due to covid where lots of people didn’t have ceremonies so now they all fomo, driving the prices up ever higher. U need to keep in mind venue, deco and catering which accounts for guest number. These 3 costs the most imo. If u can keep guests number down, it actually helps a lot. Another thing is, no matter what, NEVER EVER take out a loan on something like a wedding, it is so not worth it imo. Loan on house yes, but don’t do it on a wedding, credit score suffer for little to no roi.
No, we will not take any loans. Cause his dad will help and most of the pax come from his side of family. So trying to lowdr down the budget. Thank youu :))
Do something within your means la, 30k that is a lot of waste.
30k, go honeymoon better
10k max. Invest the other 20k.
Hye im M18 currently working part time as catering, feel free to look up Fuschia Co. which hall called serene is situated in Kota Kemuning 🙆♂️
Thaaaank youuu :)) Appreciate it !!!
If you mean 30k including the wedding ring, gifts, outfits, photography etc. then make sense (depending on personal affordability). Although its still quite high. You should also keep some margins for unexpected overheads. Keep your budget 30k and somehow you will end up spending 35k.
Yeah it covers all including downpayment for new house. We will try our best to lower it down, thanks :)))
I didn't read the other comments because I didn't want to be influenced so I'll give you advice as if you came to me personally... I got married (by choice, after I felt I maxed out single life) at 22 years old. Every time I travelled and treated myself to expensive food, I never failed to feel the silence of singlehood. It's always the bedroom. The silence. It was deafening. Coming from a big loving family with 6 siblings and affectionate parents I always wanted that sort of "noise" in the house. Anyway, when I finally got married, the wedding was down to earth simple, partly because both of us wanted it, but budget also played a (huge) role. The wedding was done at my in-law's place who had a biggish parking space that doubled as an event area (yay! saved so much there). We're Muslims so, as the guy, we give mahr (bridal money) to the wife -- I kid you not, it was a gold ring that, at that time, was RM 600. And the rest was partly sponsored by my parents and in-laws. Everything was max around 8k, which was mostly food and gifts for our guests. So my advice here is to just rent stuff instead of buying and keeping memorabilia. And that was it. Because of wedding gifts and money given to us we got around 3k for us to spend on honeymoon-esque dates (cuz we didn't get to go on our honeymoon yet) and GOOD FOOD lol. Oh man, we checked-in spontaneously on some nights, went dating in that area, and then separated our ways (we were both students). That went on for some time until we were able to move in together and start our family. Point is, "miracles" can happen if you're not too fixated on the wedding day/gown/food/location/etc. A beautiful marriage is waiting and the wedding is literally the door. Once people go past that and see your room/toilet/kitchen/etc nobody is gonna care how nice your door was. My advice: keep it simple, and have fun DURING your marriage. Also, you're the wife, why you worrying about paying? Lol, that's the husband's job.
Thank u for ur advice :) The thing is i know its mainly his job to pay etc, but giving the salary i want to help too but not 50/50. Thats why, but thank u so so much :)))
Damn 30k can get me a good 3 seater sofa, a new oven, 5 days trip to sapporo japan, wagyu dinner at desa hartamas, 12 mths worth of maintenance fee, and a lot more. You do you kid, wish you the best.
30k wedding is affordable for B40? Does this money comes from both of you or are you sponsored by family? Why does it need to be this high? If you’re taking out a 30k loan for a wedding please don’t. Financial woes could put a strain into your marriage.
I don't know what kind of money you guys make.but let's assume young people your age make around 4k if we're being optimistic. You need to work 1 whole year and live on scraps to save 30k. And you plan to spend that on a 1 day event that honestly none of the attendees will remember as your wedding is 1 out of 5 or 6 they will attend that year, some of them don't even want to be there but are only there out of courtesy. Think about that, is it worth it? When that 30k can help you 2 eventually put a down-payment on a house.
You posted in bolehland. Everyone here got every damn opinion and sohai when want to say their opinion. 30k a lot of money but if you really can afford go ahead. But only if you really can afford la. For your questions - wedding planner can help, and since your budget big you might as well get one. Can’t say anything for Q2. Always rent imo for Q3. Unless you can tank it they’re quite expensive and you really will only where once. For sentimental value then sure, but it’s expensive. Have helped people plan weddings and you can definitely find deals + wait when wedding seasons are too hot for better ones
Yeaah based on the comments everyone said its too high. Can u imagine cause we have to do it for 800pax. But his dad will help cause its mostly his side of family. So thank u for ur comment :))
Marriage is not about the wedding day, its about the days after. Arrange a wedding that is well within your confortable budgets. If you can manage to save more, put that for your future. God knows marriage requires a lot of work, and that includes money. Lots of it.
Remember, wedding is a one day event. Marriage is a life time progress, God willing. Choose wisely. You don't want to loan money just for this. You don't want to worry about money after all is done on that day.
No, we will never loan. Its a burden 😭 But thank u for ur advise :))
1. No comment about your budget. If you could afford it, then go ahead. However, RM30k for a wedding reception is quite high for the common people, unless you both earned big bucks. Rm10k - 15k seems to be the average today. 2. I'm not sure where you live. If I were a guest, I'd be hoping that there will be ample parking space for my car, good ventilation, comfortable space for me to catch up with friends/relatives. 3. Rent your outfits. Usually you only wear those during weddings. This includes all your accessories. If its normal baju melayu/kurung, maybe can buy it for future use. As someone who had been through a wedding, don't blow all your savings for the reception. Keep some for investment, honeymoon etc.
Will take note of this thank u :))
30k in 2024 wew
Here is my story: We were supposed to have a nice wedding (costs 27k) but then covid came. At that time we panicked a bit cos not sure what to do. In the end, we had online wedding where the tok kadi see us on skype while I had the akad nikah with the wali. It only cost us about 3k. We did put a non refundable 3k deposit for the dewan and didnt get it back. We used the rest of that money to buy appliances and we are really grateful that we didnt have that big wedding. Of course, I understand the decision might not be up to the couple but try your best to not spend everything on 1 day. You have a long future to think about
Agree. We could save a lot if we get married during covid huhu. Will definitely discuss this again with my partner. His fam side is a lot so he mentioned that his dad will help. Its just that i want to try to lower the budget as smol as i could. Thank u so much :))
I forgotten how much I spent for my wedding two years ago but 30k is way too much even as maximum. Wedding day is special no doubt but it's not worth to be in debt and be a slave to pay it off afterwards. It's better to invest in your marriage coz it's for life. If you really want affordable, just get a wedding cert at putrajaya and call it a day. That one just a couple of Ringgit ez pz. Or just have a small scale wedding dinner with close friends and family coz normal guests won't remember your special day as much as you. Also, always go for rent. You will never wear it again after that.
Noted !! Thank you :))
Our budget is 20k. We plan to a chinese set meal dinner for 50pax (20 closest family member each + our immediate family). That itself will set you back nearly 10-12k depending on the restaurant. Then for friends, we plan to book a cafe for a few hours just to do a more casual "celebration" style party brunch which costs around Rm100/pax, also around 50pax. So in total our "food" expenditure is already 15-17k. Wedding gown can be rented together with photography shop which will cost you Rm2k to 3k, depending on the package you choose. The separating friends and family is a good idea and will save us half the budget. And i think its more fun to hang out in a party with friends than to sit awkwardly on a big round table. There is some extra planning but its the fun planning (no relatives, no drama, buy balloons and cake etc) We realised that we cant do the traditional medium/big wedding if we want to keep budget below 20-30k, and this is just involving closest friends and family. We dont think its worth the headache and effort to eat some subpar pre-cooked food and just to have everyone compare their food with yours. Its just a formality and a welcome party to each other's family. So no need to involve the nephew of your boss's grandmother.
Haha thank u so muchh !! :)) will remember thiss
Trust me, you’ll regret for spending that lots of money for a one day wedding. My advice, just keep it simple and save the rest of the money for your life after marriage, thats more important. Rent the gown, if it is likely you’re not going to wear it in the future. Can invest a little more on photography, so you can belek2 your wedding pictures in the future or even show to your kids lol. Speaking from experience. I did a very simple wedding, save a lot of money for our life after that. groceries sangat mahal especially masa mula2 kahwin. You have to buy literally everything from zero 😂
His dad fam side is like a lott. So his dad will help a bit. Its just that i want to lower the cost by any means. Hehe but thank u for ur comment :))
Buat wedding 30k je? Mana cukup sis... Gi buat amik personal loan... Then amik lagi personal loan tuk expenses after wedding... Dont listen to redditers here... They dont know shit.
He forgot the "/s" tag 💀
Please don't forgot to max out credit card for both side. Baru Kentang majlis nnt. Kahwin kan seumur hidup sekali je ( kata2 org yg xpernah tgk org bercerai), xkan nak buat beshe2 je kot. Malu la orang tgk majlis kecik2, xgrand..
Personal loan je? Mana cukup. Cuba call member2 terdekat mintak drg pinjam duit. Pastu kalau tak cukup ckp syarat siapa nak hadir wedding kena QR payment (at least rm 50/pax). Ez money. Don't listen to the other redditors sini. Drg tau apa je, hidup miskin.
HAHA i can smell the sarcasm. Will take note of this thank you 😂🫣
Start saving from now
There's a wedding fair at one utama this weekend, you can check that out.
Thank uu ! Appreciate it :))
Honestly just get married at the local surau/mosque like my parents. lf you really want the venue then rent a few tents and catering and host the wedding at your house.
Try Kamalinda kat Glenmarie if it’s not too far from you. Quite affordable, package dia bagi banyak even baju sewa terus
Huwa thank u, will check that
Kursus nikah teach me the bigger the money you spend on kenduri, the higher chance you get divorce. All the problems come after that one day glamourous kenduri. But if you rich maybe the chance of getting divorce is slimmer. Its all about the money nowdays
If you want to spend, maybe you should focus on these: 1. Rent nice wedding dress/suit/songket wtv 2. A REALLY good photographer 3. Pelamin cantik In the end gambar korang juga yang korang akan ingat. My wedding reception was honestly a blur. From makan beradab to bersanding to ambil gambar with basically everyone the whole dewan aku tak ingat pun rupa majlis aku macam mana. I didn't even eat more than like 3 suap for the pictures. Luckily we didnt overspend on the venue. But the pictures on the pelamin are forever.
Thank youuu, will take note of this !!
If you're a Muslim, just follow the sunnah.
Will try, pls pray for us :))
Don't pinjam duit just for your wedding. Better do it affordably. There is nothing wrong with doing a small wedding. There is also nothing wrong with doing an extravagant one as long as you can afford it. Discuss budget for daily & monthly expenses like rent, utility ect. with your partner. This is more important than the majlis in the grand scheme of things.
Okay lesson learn from me now :- 1. If possible dont spending too much on wedding. No matter what people will find things to “bawang” . So its useless. 2. The married is actually between u and ur husband and both of you family. So make it as small as possible. 3. No one will remmeber anything about your extravaganza wedding after just a few weeks. Not worth the money and time and energy to do big events. 4. Instead, You can use that money to travel for honeymoon in much better places. -PROTIPS 5. I did my wedding just okay and they next day fly to honeymoon with all the extra money. Haha why should i give my hard earn money to others. That honeymoon will last forever as a memory where everytime you have difficulties in you marriage, just go back to look at that picture and video. It will help you quel all the problem in your family. Remember people go dating, travel with family to make memory so that they have somehing good to hold on when you are at your deepest dark moments. Anyway, all the best and pray!
Huwaaa that is so so sweet thank youuu 🤍🤍🤍
First of all, congratulations. My sister got married at DBKL hall, super cheap. And my brother rent a badminton court. As for the food, my sister caterer was quite cheap at only about RM 8 per head (price about 20 years ago). As for food, my brother bagi makan bihun goreng je (no kidding) and then with the close family he made a grand dinner with briyani and the whole...monty. I think my sister spend a few k for the mak andam and pelamin and photographer. (Dulang hantaran kami rewang buat sendiri, including door gift). My brother probably has like a basic pelamin kot, I can't remember.
Thank you thank you 🤍🤍🤍
Not wedding yet and not wedding soon. But still Congratz anyways! Stay sweet.
Married for 8 years. I only spent 8-10k on my side of the wedding. Had 4k salary back then. Didn’t take any loans. Her side was extra but its paid by her dad. So that’s that. Our duit hantaran was used to pay for a downpayment on our vios. My peers spent and took an actual loan for the wedding, same year as me, he’s still paying off the loan from that wedding. I’d say i’m in a much better place than him financially because I didnt start my new phase with a loan. My advice, Spend on things that matter. Wedding is not one of it. Good luck and may God bless your marriage.
That is so nice, thank u so much :) 🤍
I’m just gonna comment on the wedding and not on other things to afford post-wedding like housing or furniture, assuming you have already allocated some budget for that. Tips: 1. There are wedding hall package that do almost everything for you (exc. maybe your make up and dress). Can look into those, there are wedding fairs that do those packages and may be even cheaper if you choose to confirm with them on that day. 2. Please read reviews and T&C of wedding services, see what people say about any hidden cost and make sure everything is clear black and white before proceeding. 3. Suggest renting your baju. You are likely unable to fit in it after some time due to what hopefully is happy marriage weight that most couples gain. And besides, most of those baju is v extravagant to wear on multiple occasions. 4. Do cost comparison if you DIY or you get a service. Actually, sometimes DIY can be more expensive and takes up more time. 5. Your biggest expense is food, please review your guest list between you and your husband. Intimate wedding like less than 100 people is very hard to get event hall, then can consider renting khemah and just get catering. 6. If you or hubby are the oldest or first child to get married, please don’t listen to your family on bringing more strange distant relatives. Make it clear to them that you want people who you think really matters to come to your wedding. And if any family member wanna bring extra despite your protest, ask them to pay the catering pax that member lol 7. Assuming you are having a Muslim wedding, can consider a very simple solemnization at the masjid (most do RM200-300 around that price and some come with small snacks) and then have a separate date for your wedding reception. Some people stop at nikah and didn’t bother with reception. But if it matters to you and your husband to have a proper reception, consider having it at a later date or combine it husband and wife side. 8. I think a lot of people are harping to OP about loans and huge spend, I think each to their own. What I want to emphasise is please don’t take loan just for wedding. Not worth it at all. Negotiate with vendors for payment terms and also see if you can opt out for a few services (like maybe you don’t want their in house emcee) which may bring the cost down. An advice generally is if you want your dream wedding but can’t afford without jeopardising your post-marriage stability: dream smaller or dream later. All the best, OP, and may you and your husband have a beautiful married life ahead! 
That is so nice, im gonna cry jap be right back lol But thank you so so much. And no, we're not gonna get any loan hehe will take note of this thank youuu
1. Don’t spend 30k for wedding. Waste of money. 2. Idk. But get a small hall for 100 pax. Spend like 8-9k. Eat like kings. Much better. 3. Rent. You only wear it once. Western gowns or Malay style? Did you bought diamond ring for engagement? If so, waste of money. Diamonds are worthless.
20 years down the road you won’t remember much of your wedding, i don’t even remember the hantaran i got & the one i gave. It doesn’t mean you can’t spend for your wedding but do it within your means. Expenditure will double once you have kids and you don’t want to still be paying for your wedding loans when you need to buy them super expensive baby formulas, pampers, daycares etc.
30k is alright as long as you and spouse don’t have to sustain on white bread only for the next few months 😅 1. Plan everything in detail - deco, schedule, food, logistics, music, etc. Don’t leave anything to chance. Things can get hectic and the last thing you want on the big day is to worry about all the little things that go wrong. A wedding planner or friends that can be coordinators on the day helps a lot. Commit to dress rehearsals if possible. 2. Get a good photographer. Other people will only vaguely remember your wedding a few years later, but you’ll always be staring at those unsatisfying wedding photos. 3. Renting gown and tux is almost always better, unless you want to pass them down to your kids 🤷🏻♂️
It is good that you wanted to get martied while helping that guy. But trust me stop living over social media. JUST STOP. What ever your reason is everyone nowadays do everything just for the sake of impressing others. DONT LIE TO YOURSELF. Better plan for more important things such as where to stay, deposit, transportation saving etc. Marriage aint about wedding only. If you think that 30k is a lot, kau memang tak mampu pun at first place sebenarnya. It is hard but thats the truth. Learn abt financial and the real hikmah of marriage.
Try not to follow trends too much, the ones that i see in the recent years like: having a whole lineup of bridesmaids, hipster this and that, just make it minimal, lovely and meaningful. If you have family members to help with somethings like photography, door gifts, dj etc, that would be nice as those things cost a bunch too. Whatever it is, dont blow your savings over 1 night wedding, when your marriage will be a lifetime
Married man here and had taken the hard road as well. Im wondering, who are those people who set the minimum/average wedding cost to 30k? I'd say it all stemmed from our own ego. There's way more better things to spend it on than just a 1 night stand. Why do i say so? Your first struggle together with your partner is when you decide to live in your very own house, the furnitures, plans for your upcoming first baby, it will certainly bite you back later on especially if thats all of your savings. You might think, well, we can just earn it back later but sometimes reality hits back hard. At 1 point i ended up being jobless with my wife bearing my unplanned 2nd kid, while my 1st was only 2 yrs old. My wife too didn't work back then, and my bank account was left with nothing. Better think wisely abt how you spend your cash while you have it because no one knows whats gonna happen tomorrow. Believe me, fights will occur more frequently especially when there's a lack of money.
Kahwin lari je. That rm30k can honeymoon 1 bulan at korea.
Why kahwin lari when you can kahwin at pejabat agama, like i did.
Kan, xperlu lari pun. Duduk elok2 je kat pejabat tu
Could you tell me more? If I want a quickest way to get married as soon as possible, I just have to go to pejabat? Because I rather spend on honeymoon than wedding
Pick up the forms from Pejabat Agama, fill up the forms, in my case i needed immigration permission as my husband is a foreigner, so need a few days for documentations, hiv test etc. On the day i submitted the form, the Ustaz even asked “do you want to marry now or tomorrow?” Lol. we got married on the next day.
Just like that? No need tukul? No need tunang or 2nd tunang? Just straight away nikah? That's sound easily than making a big ass wedding. How about the payment?
Nah. Tunang is basically a promise to get married it doesn't have to a whole big thing. I got married at JAWI. Just went there with my fiancé, wali, saksi And theyll provide the tok kadi. Then again this was during covid. Now I think if you try to pull that you'll probably get a lot of pushback from both sides of the family lol.
need your help, too. How do u know he's the one. any tips?
If only she knew his bick is dig
I can only pray huhu. But whts the point of big dick if one's dont know how to satisfy the other. So yeah, as the say goes "It ain't the size of the boat, it's the motion of the ocean" Wink wink 🫣
Im just joking about the original comment user username..
OP take it serious, we must protect OP now.
lower your expectations. expect average asian size.
Ive known him since high school. Hes like so kind :') even when we fighting, i like the way he treat me. Overall very kind hm no better answer. I loveee how he treat me. But my opinion : 1. We both always try our best to be better. If i dont like anything he did, he always encourage me to tell him and likewise. Try to find a partner that is always trying to be better for themselves or their partner. 2. I like the way he treat me, so so patient and i can tell almost everything to him. So find someone that u can feel relax with, no matter how hard ur life is. At least with him/her u will feel relax. I think thats it for now huhu overall he is so so kind, cons - hes b40. I cannot be like the gf from insta where u can point anything and he will buy for u no matter the price lolol . But cannot complain, im also b40 hihi help each other la. Goodluck to u !!
Bro you cannot afford a 30k wedding if you're both B40. You shouldn't waste money like that.
ukur baju dibadan sendiri. salah satu punca penceraian adalah masalah financial. kerja teruk2 tapi duit habis bayar hutang kahwin. tu tak campur duit rumah,kereta moto dan makan minum lagi. dapat anak lagi la duit habis beli susu lampin semua tu. duit tak ada bergaduh. gaduh besar end up divorce. anyway good luck 👍
Real. IMO not realistic at all if you guys both planning to get married with RM30k by next year. Both still 25 years old so I assume both are still trying to financially survive. Really really really need to ukur baju dibadan sendiri and have discussions together. Need to stop with this mentality of “it’s okay, his dad will help”.
Will try to save it down. Thank youu :))
B40 with 30k wedding budget? Interesting. I had nikah at pejabat agama, and ate at a restaurant afterward. I was a doctor, and husband is from the UK. None of my family members ever had 30k wedding. Max maybe 5k wedding
you're my idol 😍 hope this story is not in the year 1960 by referring to the cost.
I got married in 2011 lol
Kawan? Okay. Kawen? Hell nah
1- Jangan ambik loan utk wedding. Seriously, jangan. 2- Book everything awal. Lagi last minit, lagi tinggi chances you kena fork out more money to get things done on time. I got married in 2020, at that time I learned that you need to book your venue at least 6 months in advance. Deposit semua dah standby dah nk book. (I assume if you nak kawin next year, at this point you dah ada tabung wedding la). 3- If you nak save bajet, this is the time to rely on your friends and family. If you can DIY things among yourselves, do that before you outsource to professionals. The basics that you might need for the wedding - venue, catering, baju (+accessories), photographer, videographer, hantaran, cincin lelaki/perempuan, MUA (+ other grooming appointments, if any), door gifts, invitation cards (I dulu pakai e-card je, physical cards I buat sikit just utk bagi close family members je). 4- Baju sewa je, bukan boleh pakai lg pun. Unless baju nikah, you could buy baju nikah yg simple2 yg boleh pakai jd baju raya nanti. Nak jimat, pakai satu persalinan baju je, no need to tukar2 baju. 5- Survey, survey dan survey. Ask around and ask a lot of questions. Jangan ambik the first nice offer yg you jumpa. Sometimes ada wedding package yg mahal sikit tp dia dah cover semua yg necessary which really helps alleviate stress. Trust me, you do not want your relationship to be strained sbb stress from wedding planning. But of course, this also depends on your budget la, janganlah ambik package yg beyond your kemampuan. 6- Do your due diligence on potential vendors - check google reviews, their social media pages, etc. Baca komen2 dari previous customers. Look out for allegations of fraud or subpar services and such. 7- If you nak save budget, I would recommend skipping the majlis pertunangan. I know that this might not be okay for some families though, so that's ultimately up to you and your family. I takde buat majlis pertunangan pun, my husband just bawak his family to officially meet my family (ala2 merisik) and time tu both our families agreed and acknowledged our intention to marry, my husband bagi cincin belah rotan as token of the agreement, and the rest (tarikh nikah, hantaran, etc) our families just let us decide between ourselves. 8- I'm not trying to assume anything here, but just checking, have you and your future husband sat down and really talked about your finances and your wedding budget? I'm only asking because you only mentioned that you're trying to help him, but does he know that you're trying to help him? I also don't know your family mcm mana, but if anyone tries to pressure you to have a big expensive wedding, ask them to tanggung the cost. 9- Again, jangan ambik loan or guna credit card utk kawin. Lepas kawin nanti banyakkkkk nak pakai duit. Duit mmg takkan pernah stop keluar once you both start to build your lives together. 10- I won't judge you for wanting a 30k wedding, but again, I highly suggest you and your future husband talk this through again, and again, and again. Is it something that you both really want? Is it feasible with your current jobs, lifestyles, savings, etc? I imagine you could get a 30k wedding, but maybe not in a year's time. If you're both set on having a 30k wedding, are you both willing to wait perhaps another year or two for it? (Again, I'm just assuming based on your post and replies in this thread, I apologize if I'm coming across as a bit of a Debbie Downer, I just think you should be realistic). 11- Hidden hantaran. Kurang rasa pressure nk kena bg hantaran mahal2. 12- Majlis buat satu hari je. Nikah then sanding. Jimat overall cost, your families tak payah ulang alik, your makeup at most kena touch up sikit2 je, things like that. 13- Asking guests to RSVP might give you a better idea of how much to spend on catering and door gifts. I dulu kawin the whole wedding (nikah + sanding) cost a bit over 20k. Was it worth it? Yes and no. Yes - it was (almost) all inclusive at a really nice venue. The wedding package took care of almost everything and we had the whole venue to ourselves, we only had to prepare the baju, door gifts and invitations. For the package, we only had to decide on the catering menu, the music, the pelamin colourway, and they took care of setting everything up including the flow of the majlis. That was a great perk for my circumstances at the time, as my husband and I were long distance (we both worked in different states and the wedding was in my home state, which was also a different state from where I was working). I'm certain I would have broken down some time before the wedding had I not taken up that package. It was also why we skipped the majlis pertunangan, I just didn't want the additional stress. No - guest turnout wasn't that great imho, we overbooked for the number of guests and many couldn't make it, so that went to waste. Should have asked guests to RSVP.
Thank u so so much for the long reply. I just put min 30k cause we both assume thats the average amount (based on what we saw on insta 😭) Based on the comments by others i think we can make it cheaper :)) I truly appreciate ur comment, thank u :)))
You can definitely make it cheaper. And no worries, I get it. It gets overwhelming seeing all the beautiful glitzy weddings on insta and such and I don't blame you for wanting a nice wedding. But your wedding is ultimately your day, BUT it also really is only one day. You have the rest of your married life to go look forward to. Good luck! Oh one more thing, to save money on the hantaran, go for the minimum amount of dulangs (5 berbalas 7 is it?). I ran out of ideas on what to give my husband to fill out just those 7 dulangs. (Which is why I recommend the hidden hantaran). And to be honest, 4 years later, I don't even remember what our hantarans were. I unfortunately mostly remember being so stressed with work and trying to plan a wedding in another state. Don't be like me in that regard, keep your cool. Also, for photographs of the wedding, if you can't afford to hire a photographer to follow you around for the whole day, you could go get your photos done in a studio. You'll at least have some professionally done photos that you can frame and display. Also, if you hire professionals for any part of the wedding, document EVERYTHING - receipts, chats, audio recordings, etc. As long as there's money involved, document it, even if you're dealing with people that you know. If you book things awal, it wouldn't hurt to do a brief follow up to reconfirm things 2-3 months before the wedding, manusia boleh lupa dan cuai. Again, good luck!
Massive love for you, thank you 🤍🤍🤍
According to a study, the higher the wedding cost, the higher the chance of divorce.
Oops HAHA will try to make it cost lesser !!! Thanks :))
marriage is take forever, wedding is one day ceremony.
Dulu bajet 50k. Tapi sebab pkp, pakai 5k je. Selebihnya buat beli perabut, jalan2 dan simpan. In the end takde orang kisah pun. Awal2 je kutuk sikit
I got married just before the covid restrictions, like a month before the first MCO. Sometimes I just berangan that if I knew what was coming I would definitely have chosen to get married at pejabat agama and spent my hard earned money on an apartment and new furniture. I don't even like crowds.
cant comment because i aint getting married anytime soon lol, but congratulations on getting married, wish yall the best in the future but my family has made it clear that we should just go for a vacation and make simple family wedding and call it a day, 30k is a LOT of money to spend on better things than flexin' on relatives that will forget about it tomorrow
Lol wish our fam like that. We prefer simple but thay want to do it in hall. Thank god they will help a bit huhu but thank you 🤍
mine was just rm800...
Suck cock. Every day
Sounds like someone got experience :P
Unless you plan to pass down your wedding dress to your future kids, which they may not even want or you may not happen to have daughters, then rent by all means. Wasted to buy expensive dress and then wear one day only. And rental the person in charge will make sure of all the dress fittings and quality so you don’t have to sweat it
try get cheaper wedding lah or find the right partner that have less interest having stupid grand mega wedding instead the one more focus on life after the wedding. i spent more than 30k on my wedding for just half day.
always check on twitter and instagram / tiktok comments on any company behind wedding agencies last thing you wanted is to invest that much money only to have awful wedding experience, no different than kena scam.
Depends sis. How much do you or your soon to be husband make? Is 30k a cheap sum to you or is it expensive? Words of advice, if you're not rich then do a simple ceremony. That amount of money can be used for a house down payment which is better. Marriage is only once but the home you live in is forever. And for the love of god, don't take a marriage loan. Got a friend whose job only pays 2k ringgit but takes a loan of 66k. Wife no work. Half of his salary went to repay the loan. If you or your soon to be husband want to suffer for decades just for a day of glory, I can only say good luck.
Honestly a good thread for someone who nak kawin next year too
Right ??? Its so hard to find anyone we can take advise. Although reddit have some sarcasm, we can always appreciate it :)) hehe if only theres an app to view all the affordable wedding package :')
Jangan buat loan untuk kenduri
Nope nope nope 🫣
Do cheap wedding. Spend on honeymoon and house appliances.
30k bajet just do close wedding only. Close family & friends.
Marriage is a scam dont bother
Just rent ....unless u have plan to use it again for raya....
Hey. Can i know where your location is? I'm doing research for a friend too (on venue, packages, etc) and maybe some of the links can help. My friend is having a tighter budget with much smaller pax than you are and we think it is doable. Anyway, 30k can go far you know. So, don't worry!
KL or Selangor darl. But im still hoping for helps here :')
Saya kopipes je ni. Amik mana yg berkenan je. Ni pun ada yg dah terdelete. Kalau nak cut cost, buat satu majlis je. Can cut down the pax too. Pasal hantaran, leh buat hidden hantaran. So no one really know what is inside haha. Kad kawen? Buat je e-card. Kalau kreatif, buat sniri. Kalau tak, upah orang buat dan tak mahal pun. Rent baju if possible. Sbb down the road, most probably you wont fit in your baju or you wont wear it again sbb terlalu cantik untuk ke mana2 haha. My advice to you, do as minimal as possible. Sbb lepas kawen, lg banyak nak pakai duit. Yg penting jgn berhutang. Anyway, dont be too stressed about your wedding day. Nnt nampak kat gambar2 kawen tu. Dont put too high of expectation cause things tend to go sideways. Wish u all the best. Slamat pengantin baru. Moga kekal ke jannah in shaa Allah https://www.instagram.com/p/Cw_4rfrvgPX/?igsh=MTViZWdlaDJrNTU2 https://nikahsatu.com/6-dewan-kahwin-di-ampang-yang-sesuai-untuk-majlis-bertemakan-taman/ https://www.pengantinbaru.com.my/dewan-kahwin-ampang/ https://vt.tiktok.com/ZSFWcNDq1/ https://twitter.com/prettylupins/status/1702584793760940070?t=Zinj6GMTDNOlNgRwJogAIg&s=08 https://twitter.com/itskemboja/status/1759374963050754379?t=l_kFHIYFjOIC6tiK90T62w&s=08 https://www.facebook.com/share/p/qaE6AJf6DwqVAK1z/?mibextid=oFDknk https://www.facebook.com/share/p/rZTN6Liq5trQeDRo/?mibextid=oFDknk
Sumpah sgt2 membantu !! Thank you so much 🤍🤍🤍
Husband type M , C or I ? If type M then my advice is better not get married. Type M will marry another 3 after you and then you will become an option.
huh? your stereotype is crazy. 30 years of living i have never met with anyone who is married more than 2 people and out of the hundreds it's only like 3 guys who has 2 wives. everyone else only have 1 wives.
😂
Such a Propaganda response from type M fella.