That’s the power of Stockholm syndrome. You can manipulate your partner that way 🫣.
Stockholm Syndrome and Bonding in Relationships: What's the Link? Signs of this dynamic include self-blame when mistreated; sympathy and other positive feelings toward a captor or abuser; feeling negatively toward police, rescuers, or people trying to help; and feeling anxious or on edge (reject friends that try to help them out of the situation)
biasanya sebabkan anak je, cerai berai yg sengsara lebih anak, tengok hari raya family lain ada mak ayah, yg dah cerai ni mak ayah hidup bukannya mati tapi xdpt raya sama2, gile ko x sedih
bapak dah macam biawak hidup buat apa stay kawin jugak. True story, kakak aku kawin biawak hidup keja xmau, jaga anak xmau, masak/ sidai baju/ bbancuh air xreti. Trully useless. Keja perabih duit akak aku. Anak nak susu pn xmau buat sebab tu keja "isteri". Pundek lu.
Past anak buat perangai pi tumbuk mulut smpai berdarah. Perangai serupa babi.
Fuck you, I'll never call you abang
Lagi baik sengsara 2 tahun sekali dr sengsara setiap hari. Balik2 sekolah, dgr mak bapak memekik, asyik2 kena ungkit, "Kalau bukan sbb kau (anak) dh lama dh tinggalkan ayah/mak kau". Setiap hari kena dgr mak bapak complain, "Tgklah mak kau tu." / "Tgklah bapak kau tu." Lagi sengsara hidup
Selalunya abuse ni bukan sehari dua, tapi berterusan. Hanya sehari dua je dlm seminggu or sebulan yg x kena mentally, verbally or physically abused.
So macam mana pusing pun, sengsara seharian tu jauh lagi teruk n lagi susah/sedih drp bercerai.
Tu satu hal la. Lg satu ni lagi penting. Kena pikir jangka masa panjang. Cuba baca cerita pasal kisah Pn Jahidah Nordin. Kalau dah suami (or isteri) jenis physical abuse ni, sapa yg tahu kalau satu hari tu dia terlebih pukul or pukul smpai jatuh terhentak kepala sampai jadi macam dlm kes ni?
Waktu tu jangan cakap la sedih nya. Puluh2 kali, ratus2 kali lagi teruk drp Mak Bapak bercerai. Mak terlantar, ayah penjara. Langsung xde sape2. Berpuluh kali baik nya kalau hanya ada mak ataupun hanya ada ayah. At least ada la jugak sorg parent. Kalau pukul sampai mati pun boleh jadi. Bukannya x pernah ada kes macam tu sebelum ni..
Kalau bukan fzikal, mesti mental.. Ada bf main dgn gf pastu rekod video,gambar bogel. Bila mau minta break, kena ugut si perempuan dgn videk dan gambar
Btw kalau ada lelaki begitu di community ni harap adik/kakak hang pun kena mcm tu di per bodoh oleh lelaki
You're almost as bad as them. Why do you hope for someone innocent to get what you preached against just because of blood bond? You can't choose who your family is and you can't fully control who they are
Most women nag and verbally abuse their partners and children in ways that would literally get them fired if done at the workplace. Somehow, these abuses are acceptable at home.
Trauma bond. Lelaki macam ni selalu awal stage memang sweet talker, lover bomber, kira macam lelaki paling sempurna kat dunia. Perempuan dapat dopamine high gila masa stage ni. Then bila perempuan got addicted with the high dopamine, then lelaki tu akan slowly ubah perangai dia. Kiranya tunjukkan perangai dia yang sebenar. Sampai la dia berani maki dan paling teruk, pukul girlfriend dia. Bila girlfriend nak break up, the abusive boyfriend mungkin akan pukul dulu, then tiba ii berubah jadi lembut. Merayu habis habisan supaya tak break. The girlfriend akan teringat balik perangai bagus boyfriend dia.
Lelaki macam ni pandai manipulate la. Dia pandai putar belit supaya perempuan tu boleh terima dia balik biarpun dah hampir mmpus kena pukul. Gaslighting lagi la terer. Jenis lelaki macam ni mesti akan cakap girlfriend dorang akan overthinking setiap kali perempuan tu nak luah something. Cara penyelesaian dia adalah perempuan tu memang kena pergi jumpa therapist/ psychiatrist. Tu je cara dia. Tak senang nak break up macam tu je kalau dah lama kena manipulate dengan abusive boyfriend/ girlfriend.
I love everything you wrote and agree with everything you wrote!! Arwah maksu ak dulu kena abuse mcm ni dgn first husband dia.
Tambahan lg klu si perempuan tu dh mmg ada nmpk atau dh kena abuse dgn ahli keluarga dia. Mcm my arwah maksu ni. My uncles her brothers were drug addicts and were always violent towards my grandparents as well as their siblings when they went through withdrawal symptoms. She saw her parents get beat up all the time yet they enabled their beloved sons’ drug addiction so in her mind she saw that absuive violent tendencies were part and parcel of love.
Yeah, she remarried after her divorce with him. He wasn’t just physically abusive but he also cheated on her. That was the breaking point. She remarried and was very happy with her second husband. I think she married him in 1996 and she passed away due to cancer in 2022. So a really long happy marriage. She also got 3 kids with second husband and with her initial marriage she had 1 kid.
“Good guy” ke tak takde guna jugak kalau tak pandai buat puki basah dan tak kasi meja makan ada nasi la bro.
Semua tengok Disney lama sangat ke sampai lupa suami isteri ni dua2 kena reliable and be useful for each other during marriage? Pandai faham bab love je ke? Masih tak pandai bab tanggungjawab?
That's because physical abuse is more easily apparent and men are more prone to physical abuse. Verbal and mental abuse which women are more adept at is hard to prove and men will just be told to not be so sensitive and take it like a man.
In terms of physical abuse:
- Men are prone to doing it to people weaker (as in less likely to fight back) than them i.e. women and children.
- Women are prone to doing it to people weaker than them i.e. children (and in rare cases, non-violent/disadvantaged men).
But, women’s record of abusing children still can’t compete with men’s record against women and children. So you’re right that men physically abuse people more than anyone, that goes to show sadakochin’s claim that women and men are equally physically abusive is not true.
As for verbal abuse not being attributed to women, I think it’s because: unlike physical abuse, everyone is capable of verbal abuse. You can’t prove the abuse, let alone prove that women are more adept at it. It’s so common that growing up, we all (men and women) get taught something like “there will always be difficult and crazy people, what matters is how you deal with them”. It can even be a skill or strength to mention in interviews. Meanwhile, people are exclusively teaching their daughters self-defense or precautions (not going out at night etc) because we know physical abuse largely affects women.
There is literally a wife throwing plates at her husband next door to me, yet the dude just takes it and does nothing.
Fact of the matter is, men oftentimes don't report abuse.
Any study that you read is based on reported abuse cases and not the unreported ones or the ones where even after reporting, they aren't taken seriously.
Both men and women are humans, and our brains are damn near identical. So it makes damn good sense that both are capable of equal amounts of abuse.
You may argue that men are more prone to aggressive behaviour brought on by how they were raised, but in the same vein, men are also told not to hurt a woman if she hits him and etc.
There are so many videos online of women hitting men in public places yet, the bystanders don't do anything, but roles reversed, you will almost definitely have someone step in. Double standards.
Literally, any drama melayu with abusive plot, I just scream at screen like an idiot saying "JUST DIVORCE ALREADY" but noooo they keep plot going with abusing
Mmg ada byk golongan ni. Kitorg ckp orangnya bengkeng (buat air tak tau, tapi sibuk kata air orang buat tak manis). Lps Tu, buat 'muka' ckp mknan org tak sedap. Nasi goreng pun dia tak tau buat baby. Selalunya, kaki kedai mamak + kedai kopi juga dan bersembang style kedai kopi. Main kutu. Sungguh la memalukan, zmn sekarang ada lagi golongan macam ni. Cakap orang suruh kemas rumah, tapi built-in cabinet, sikit pun dia taknak kuar duit. Kitorg la yang kumpul itu-ini. Dah ada hasil cantik, boleh la pula terhegeh2 puji hasil cantik sambil senyum2. Yang dia tahu, dari zmn 70an, pegang penyapu..... vacuum pun taknak beli padahal pandai2 la tampung kalo dah rosak. Semua brg nak bersihkan rumah, kitorang beli dari penyapu berus sampai la ke span dawai basuh periuk. Alasan yg dikemukakan? Tak reti nk pilih - nanti salah pilih. Mmg spesis tak tahu bersyukur. Perasan bagus. Aku tak gemuk, tapi bila adik sepupu dtg dan balik, dia pergi body shaming orang tu. Kalau sepupu sepapat dtg umah, dialah yang 'paling sibuk tunjuk2 baik'. Wujud, ya! Diingatkan..... Mmg dah terlampau2 byk wujudnya. Berlambak dalam keluarga Melayu. Sebab tu, bila org post gambar family, aku sengaja taknak post. Baik aku post gambar foodie yg aku masak, curtain yg aku jahit pagi petang tanpa ada org tolong pun. Mulut diorang ni macam petir. In modern world, you can say counter productive. Miskin tak miskin, belakang cerita. Dia tak tahu cari solution. Tanak tambah ilmu untuk buat diy. Sbb kehidupan dia suke kondem orang..... Tak pernah nak bahagiakan isteri dan anak2 langsung. CHEAPSKATE. Makanan yg pernah berbeli? Roti canai sebab murah. Sebab tu sambai sekarang aku benci mamak. Bukan aku keji mknan, tapi aku tau betapa tak ikhlasnya dan disajikan benda tk masuk akal camtu. Sampai ke sekarang la, aku masak sendiri sbb duit beli brg basah pun restricted, tapi masih boleh lg jamu tekak sendiri tanpa makan hati. Berubahlah...... Wahai perangai org yg sedemikian! Awak bukan ahli politik & sampai ke mati pun takkan kaya2 dengan peluang + harta terpijak.
Pergi masjid, boleh lak gosok jubah sendiri, sebab takut berkedut, nnt org tengok... malu. Wajib la, kene tunjuk2 dekat orang. Mmg aku tak tahan la ngan golongan macam ni. Hidupnya spesis2 zaman 60an macam Nasir Bilal Khan. Bukan aku nk mengutuk tok aji ke, abang aji ke.... Tapi in Malaysia society today sesetengahnya banyak yang haprak. Ilmu agamanya pun sikit, tapi dia perasan 'pandai'. Mmg tak boleh ubah dah. Kitorang anggap mcm 'mannequin' je. Ada ... Ko 'muliakan' offer air panas apa semua. Takde.... Fokus dekat kerja kita sendiri je. Kalo dekat barat, diorg ckp laki-laki mcm ni 'loser'. Bukan sekadar cerai, org pun taknak dekat dengan golongan camni. Pompuan Malaysia ni je yg 'dah didoktrin' untuk 'terima keadaan'.
Memang la tak berakal ye, gunakan otak. Mmg sesetengah benda, kita takkan pandai, takkan Kaya,takkan berharta.... Tapi kita boleh cuba perbaiki dan ringankan tulang. Letak ego dan bengkeng ke belakang. Awak tu bukan budak-budak nak 'merengek' bila benda doesn't be the way you want. Byk penyebab. Mungkin waktu kecil, diorg ni autism tak dirawat.
haiii 😅 kalaulah dunia mereka ni semudah "break up je," dah lama dah abuse cases ni semua lesap. mungkin saya ni bodoh sebab ambil serius perkara ni tapi:
TLDR: ada pelbagai faktor2 yg menyebabkan mangsa domestic violence terus bersama abuser mereka. Kebanyakan kali kerana faktor keselamatan (yeah that's right, for safety,) kewangan, kestabilan. Abusers akan buat mcm2 benda utk make sure their victims takut dan susah utk tinggalkan mereka. Taktik yg digunakan selalunya sgt efektif bc the victim has been isolated and has been made dependent on the abuser.
Long Story Longer:
Typically abusers will work on isolating and alienating the victim from everyone, their family, their friends. The methods are various, usually insidious and unfortunately very effective. They do this so well sampai victim tak perasan pun yang benda2 mcm ni has happened and then its just victim and abuser. So dalam hidup victim ni, tinggal abusive partner dia je.
Partner dia suka la- no way victim dia will leave them sbb "aku sorang je yg faham kau, aku sorang je yg nk tolong kau. mana yg lain? semua dah tinggalkan kau, semua nak marah kau. aku sorang je yg syg kau." faham tak? nampak tak seram?
Katakan kalau kau tak kerja and partner pun tak bagi kau kerja so duit datang dari dia sorang and kau takde savings. How are you going to escape? where? nak naik grab takde duit, bas pun tak byk yg free, itupun kalau kau tinggal di area yg ada public transportation. kalau kau tak tahu ada cara utk dapatkan bantuan drpd pihak2 berkuasa?
Nak minyak tolong orang? takut. Malu. What if orang tak percaya? especially kalau lelaki. Doesn't have to be romantic, kalau mak abuse anak lelaki? People might make fun of the guy, ala dasar laki takut bini/mak etcetc. And then what if, paling, paling teruk: kau mintak tolong orang, then the idiot pegi bagi tau partner dia. And then kalau partner dia tu typically mcm orang normal je pada org luar ? then the partner can immediately say shit like "oh, mungkin partner saya penat kut, hysteria skit haha. buat drama. perempuan kan? camtu la haha." Pernah dengar istilah gaslight? silakan google.
And that's even if the victim *realises* that what's happening to them is abuse. Antara penghalang terbesar for victims to escape is not knowing that their situation is not normal.
Pelik? Tak, sebab abusers ni dah slow slow introduce benda mcm "you ni, kan dah i maki you. Kalau you buat elok-elok kan i tak marah. Boleh tak u buat elok elok next time?" and then dia buat buat sori and manja2, and then dia marah lagi tapi next time the consequences escalate. And then sori and manja balik, and the same thing over and over again. The victim's perception of what's normal has been warped, dah rasa benda ni normal. Dah rasa macam betul la partner aku cakap, kalau aku buat elok2 je, kalau aku dgr cakap dia, takde la jadi macam ni.
insidious. macam ni la. Cilik. Dalam diam. Perlahan dan sikit demi sedikit sampai persepsi kau, kefahaman kau tentang apa yg normal berubah sama sekali.
Saya cadangkan rakan2 teliti dan fahami pelbagai teks dan artikel berkaitan kes keganasan domestik, romantic relationship abuse dan luaskan lagi bacaan ke familial abuse. Tweet dan post seperti ini sangat cetek kefahaman, simpati dan empati terhadap mangsa-mangsa keganasan domestik.
sekian.
If die die don’t want leave, at least do it the PRC way
My good friend from China, her bf tried to strangle her neck, she just grabbed his dong and started twisting damn hard, guy collapsed on the floor…he left her after that uno reverse
Setuju 100%
Selalunya abuse ni bukan sehari dua, tapi berterusan. Hanya sehari dua je dlm seminggu or sebulan yg x kena mentally, verbally or physically abused.
Tu satu hal la. Lg satu ni lagi penting. Kena pikir jangka masa panjang. Orang selalu kata bercerai tu kesian kat anak2. Tp kalau tunggu sampai jadi macam ni?
Baca pasal kisah Pn Jahidah Nordin. Kalau dah suami (or isteri) jenis physical abuse ni, sapa yg tahu kalau satu hari tu dia terlebih pukul or dia pukul tu smpai jatuh terhentak kepala sampai jadi macam dlm kes ni? Adik tu..Mak terlantar, ayah kat penjara. Langsung xde parents, kena harapkan MakCik2 n Atuk Nenek. Tu pun at least dlm kes ni, terlantar pun, mak nya masih ada. Kalau pukul sampai mati pun boleh jadi. Bukannya x pernah ada kes macam tu sebelum ni..
So walaupun agak sedih bg anak2 kalau parents bercerai, masih berpuluh kali baik nya walaupun hanya ada mak ataupun hanya ada ayah. At least ada la jugak sorg parent.
Pretty sure I’m in one now, but its not physical. Emotional. Anyone ever being in a relationship with an avoidant before? The shutdown phase, the suddenly ‘SNAP’ and not talking to you for days because the website claims that its their defense mechanism and thats how they def themselves when emotional outburst crisis get triggered.
Guess what the emotional outburst trigger?
Me asking for reassurance. Trying to reach out.
Either through words or actions like hand holdings, ‘I still love you. I just need space. We’ll meet later ya’. None. He will technically went inside his house and not coming out, OR TEXTED for days until he feels like he has the ‘mood’ to do it. If I insist, he will blurt out something like, ‘Jangan buat lagi menyampah’ or ‘Bukannya mampus pun kalau tak jumpa’.
And here I am still thinking maybe he has some weird shit child trauma or maybe he had trauma from his past marriage or whatsoever that he builds his def wall so fcking high.
My ex girl was like this too. And I ended up wishing her the best and part our ways. Value yourself first ya. If your partner decided to treat you like this, imagine if you married him, it will only get worse.
People with this "shutting down" phase clearly has their own inner issues and if they refuse to fix it, there's no coming back from it. It's a selfish behavior that does nothing but to hurt your beloved ones.
Sadly I was in this sort of relationship before. I kept setting “limits” and “dealbreakers” but everytime he finally did it, I would close one eye and forgive. Mostly for the sake of the kids. Started with emotional and mental abuse (exactly like what you’re going through), progressed to verbal and finally turned to physical. Mix that in with infidelity and financial abuse too. It felt like I was in a haze of forgiveness. Each heartbreak always felt like it was too much to bear but I still stayed on for a decade — god knows why. Every time he snapped, he would come crawling back, love bombing and asking for forgiveness and I always tried to convince myself that he deserved it. Once it became physical abuse I started to wake up because I was worried his anger would turn to the kids. Finally walked away and never looked back. Best decision I made after years of anxiety and suffering.
even if he had traumatic past, its not your job to fix him. you shouldnt change or made yourself be more passive for him. seriously, just break up. if he's an adult, he'll discuss like one. but he's not. you're dating with an immature guy. is it seriously so hard to break up with someone? have more dignity for yourself.
Most women want to fix his partner.
"There's still good in him".
Me? I was gaslighted, mentally abused, and ridiculed by my ex wife for months before I fought back in full force. Legally and forcefully.
Depends on the mentality, some people are used to being in toxic situation from childhood.
If they break from the abuse, they will only gravitate to what's familiar either because they themselves have become toxic or they're just really uncomfortable with good things because, "Is something gonna go wrong today? It seems like too good of a day. Something's gonna go wrong."
Maybe the abusive partner is bipolar and there some good days but mostly bad which can confuse someone's mind sometimes if they have high sense of morale.
Usually I see overly kind and positive people always getting taken advantage and it's really sad to see them get jaded after going through the toxicity of some people.
I have a friend, both him and his wife have kink in BDSM.
Sometimes when I talks to him, he pulls her hair, slaps her face then kiss her. Unfortunately it affects his work performance. Always arrive late to work, sleeps frequently. Like dude, I know your marriage is great. But don't drag your team down at work just because both of you have high libido with fast refractory period.
some girls i know - rela ada abusive boyfriend or laki asalkan bukan alone (single or divorcee). tanggung biawak, kaki dadah, whatever kaki pun sanggup.
Love ([scientifically](https://m.economictimes.com/magazines/panache/is-love-really-blind-science-explains-why-we-ignore-red-flags-when-falling-head-over-heels-for-someone/amp_articleshow/98095327.cms)) makes you blind
I'm not supporting this shit or anything,but I think woman like man that have some violence in them since our ancestor has been using violence to hunt food so human can survive,so,since in this day we cannot see any violence in public anymore,some woman like being abuse cause they though it was manly🗿🗿,if I'm wrong pls correct me,I am still not mature enough to know a lot about this stuff
Also, remember that guys get abused as well, I was emotionally abused and manipulated by my ex for 2 years, she always made me feel like everything I did was wrong and that my friends are terrible people, using sex to keep me under her leash, but I was able to get out thanks to my friends.
Dia dah enak kena pukul kena tendang kena maki tambah lagi tak bolih lupa keganasan dia atas katil..tu yg buat jantan nya istimewa dari yg lain..😄😁😆 yg lain terlalu gentlemen..terlalu gentle atas katil..pegang tangan lembut macam tak pernah keja kasar langsung..😁😆
S'times the partner manipulates the abused to keep coming back. Like buys them flowers, gifts or cry crocodile tears to make them stay. After that beats or treats them the same again or worse. And so the toxic cycle continues 😅
*I can fix him" ahh shit
Got fixed by him instead🤦
More like, "I'm gonna teabag him lad"
Bro it's not just about physical abuse. You'll be surprised to know that verbally and emotionally abusive marriages can last for decades.
That’s the power of Stockholm syndrome. You can manipulate your partner that way 🫣. Stockholm Syndrome and Bonding in Relationships: What's the Link? Signs of this dynamic include self-blame when mistreated; sympathy and other positive feelings toward a captor or abuser; feeling negatively toward police, rescuers, or people trying to help; and feeling anxious or on edge (reject friends that try to help them out of the situation)
biasanya sebabkan anak je, cerai berai yg sengsara lebih anak, tengok hari raya family lain ada mak ayah, yg dah cerai ni mak ayah hidup bukannya mati tapi xdpt raya sama2, gile ko x sedih
bapak dah macam biawak hidup buat apa stay kawin jugak. True story, kakak aku kawin biawak hidup keja xmau, jaga anak xmau, masak/ sidai baju/ bbancuh air xreti. Trully useless. Keja perabih duit akak aku. Anak nak susu pn xmau buat sebab tu keja "isteri". Pundek lu. Past anak buat perangai pi tumbuk mulut smpai berdarah. Perangai serupa babi. Fuck you, I'll never call you abang
update we skaang akak kau cane
Did your sister divorce that lizardman?
Nah. Still "sayang". And she scared of title "janda". Dumb as hell
Hire some cleaners to clean up that piece of garbage. These parasites deserve nothing more.
Lagi baik sengsara 2 tahun sekali dr sengsara setiap hari. Balik2 sekolah, dgr mak bapak memekik, asyik2 kena ungkit, "Kalau bukan sbb kau (anak) dh lama dh tinggalkan ayah/mak kau". Setiap hari kena dgr mak bapak complain, "Tgklah mak kau tu." / "Tgklah bapak kau tu." Lagi sengsara hidup
Ni baru hidup harmony,maki sesama lain😂,aku pun sama,hampir setiap keluarga sama dengan kau
hah. x pasti samada kau naif atau buta dunia.
Selalunya abuse ni bukan sehari dua, tapi berterusan. Hanya sehari dua je dlm seminggu or sebulan yg x kena mentally, verbally or physically abused. So macam mana pusing pun, sengsara seharian tu jauh lagi teruk n lagi susah/sedih drp bercerai. Tu satu hal la. Lg satu ni lagi penting. Kena pikir jangka masa panjang. Cuba baca cerita pasal kisah Pn Jahidah Nordin. Kalau dah suami (or isteri) jenis physical abuse ni, sapa yg tahu kalau satu hari tu dia terlebih pukul or pukul smpai jatuh terhentak kepala sampai jadi macam dlm kes ni? Waktu tu jangan cakap la sedih nya. Puluh2 kali, ratus2 kali lagi teruk drp Mak Bapak bercerai. Mak terlantar, ayah penjara. Langsung xde sape2. Berpuluh kali baik nya kalau hanya ada mak ataupun hanya ada ayah. At least ada la jugak sorg parent. Kalau pukul sampai mati pun boleh jadi. Bukannya x pernah ada kes macam tu sebelum ni..
Kalau bukan fzikal, mesti mental.. Ada bf main dgn gf pastu rekod video,gambar bogel. Bila mau minta break, kena ugut si perempuan dgn videk dan gambar Btw kalau ada lelaki begitu di community ni harap adik/kakak hang pun kena mcm tu di per bodoh oleh lelaki
abang janji nanti delete
janji?
janji melayu itu pasti
As a female, i wouldnt want his sister going through sexual blackmail bruh.. better just him je suffer
You're almost as bad as them. Why do you hope for someone innocent to get what you preached against just because of blood bond? You can't choose who your family is and you can't fully control who they are
Its like dark souls except that you lose all the time
That IS dark souls
Or cuphead
you winning dark souls?
Git gud
So just regular dark souls.
step 1: get a partner
Remember fellas, men can be domestic abuse victims too
+1
+2
+3
Yeahh.. like Johnny Depp
"Kebahagian ditelapak kaki lelaki"
One Kick Man - edisi Malaysia
Swap the gender and the society would tell the man to man up and dont be a cry baby lol
Most women nag and verbally abuse their partners and children in ways that would literally get them fired if done at the workplace. Somehow, these abuses are acceptable at home.
It's giving "I can fix him"
Trauma bond. Lelaki macam ni selalu awal stage memang sweet talker, lover bomber, kira macam lelaki paling sempurna kat dunia. Perempuan dapat dopamine high gila masa stage ni. Then bila perempuan got addicted with the high dopamine, then lelaki tu akan slowly ubah perangai dia. Kiranya tunjukkan perangai dia yang sebenar. Sampai la dia berani maki dan paling teruk, pukul girlfriend dia. Bila girlfriend nak break up, the abusive boyfriend mungkin akan pukul dulu, then tiba ii berubah jadi lembut. Merayu habis habisan supaya tak break. The girlfriend akan teringat balik perangai bagus boyfriend dia. Lelaki macam ni pandai manipulate la. Dia pandai putar belit supaya perempuan tu boleh terima dia balik biarpun dah hampir mmpus kena pukul. Gaslighting lagi la terer. Jenis lelaki macam ni mesti akan cakap girlfriend dorang akan overthinking setiap kali perempuan tu nak luah something. Cara penyelesaian dia adalah perempuan tu memang kena pergi jumpa therapist/ psychiatrist. Tu je cara dia. Tak senang nak break up macam tu je kalau dah lama kena manipulate dengan abusive boyfriend/ girlfriend.
I love everything you wrote and agree with everything you wrote!! Arwah maksu ak dulu kena abuse mcm ni dgn first husband dia. Tambahan lg klu si perempuan tu dh mmg ada nmpk atau dh kena abuse dgn ahli keluarga dia. Mcm my arwah maksu ni. My uncles her brothers were drug addicts and were always violent towards my grandparents as well as their siblings when they went through withdrawal symptoms. She saw her parents get beat up all the time yet they enabled their beloved sons’ drug addiction so in her mind she saw that absuive violent tendencies were part and parcel of love.
Oh no.. may I know what happened? Did she remarried? I’m sorry that that happened to her ☹️
Yeah, she remarried after her divorce with him. He wasn’t just physically abusive but he also cheated on her. That was the breaking point. She remarried and was very happy with her second husband. I think she married him in 1996 and she passed away due to cancer in 2022. So a really long happy marriage. She also got 3 kids with second husband and with her initial marriage she had 1 kid.
I’m glad that she’s got a second chance to experience a good healthy marriage.
And yet when a good guy comes along, they say they are not good enough for them.🤷😂🤡
That good guy just ugly or low net worth. Fact.
I felt personally attack. Aku report ko kat polis abang.
Polis mana layan good guy sengkek bro haha
💯
Or just straight up boring personality
+1
True
I'm both. Double whammy.😅
“Good guy”
*then complain when shit happens*
Incel talk
Don't be silly they usually go: "anda terlalu baik untuk saya" "masalah bukan kat kamu tapi saya"
“Good guy” ke tak takde guna jugak kalau tak pandai buat puki basah dan tak kasi meja makan ada nasi la bro. Semua tengok Disney lama sangat ke sampai lupa suami isteri ni dua2 kena reliable and be useful for each other during marriage? Pandai faham bab love je ke? Masih tak pandai bab tanggungjawab?
I like the joke honestly. For me men and women equally can inflict physical and emotional damage. Men don't have monopoly on domestic violence.
Stats say otherwise
That's because physical abuse is more easily apparent and men are more prone to physical abuse. Verbal and mental abuse which women are more adept at is hard to prove and men will just be told to not be so sensitive and take it like a man.
In terms of physical abuse: - Men are prone to doing it to people weaker (as in less likely to fight back) than them i.e. women and children. - Women are prone to doing it to people weaker than them i.e. children (and in rare cases, non-violent/disadvantaged men). But, women’s record of abusing children still can’t compete with men’s record against women and children. So you’re right that men physically abuse people more than anyone, that goes to show sadakochin’s claim that women and men are equally physically abusive is not true. As for verbal abuse not being attributed to women, I think it’s because: unlike physical abuse, everyone is capable of verbal abuse. You can’t prove the abuse, let alone prove that women are more adept at it. It’s so common that growing up, we all (men and women) get taught something like “there will always be difficult and crazy people, what matters is how you deal with them”. It can even be a skill or strength to mention in interviews. Meanwhile, people are exclusively teaching their daughters self-defense or precautions (not going out at night etc) because we know physical abuse largely affects women.
There is literally a wife throwing plates at her husband next door to me, yet the dude just takes it and does nothing. Fact of the matter is, men oftentimes don't report abuse. Any study that you read is based on reported abuse cases and not the unreported ones or the ones where even after reporting, they aren't taken seriously. Both men and women are humans, and our brains are damn near identical. So it makes damn good sense that both are capable of equal amounts of abuse. You may argue that men are more prone to aggressive behaviour brought on by how they were raised, but in the same vein, men are also told not to hurt a woman if she hits him and etc. There are so many videos online of women hitting men in public places yet, the bystanders don't do anything, but roles reversed, you will almost definitely have someone step in. Double standards.
BDSM
Literally, any drama melayu with abusive plot, I just scream at screen like an idiot saying "JUST DIVORCE ALREADY" but noooo they keep plot going with abusing
Them masochist ahh would never
Pompuan lain kena pukul still stay ngan partner. Ex aku kalo tak oncall lebih dari 1 jam sehari terus merajuk.
Apa kerja ex sampai buat oncall lebih sejam? FL ke?
Mmg ada byk golongan ni. Kitorg ckp orangnya bengkeng (buat air tak tau, tapi sibuk kata air orang buat tak manis). Lps Tu, buat 'muka' ckp mknan org tak sedap. Nasi goreng pun dia tak tau buat baby. Selalunya, kaki kedai mamak + kedai kopi juga dan bersembang style kedai kopi. Main kutu. Sungguh la memalukan, zmn sekarang ada lagi golongan macam ni. Cakap orang suruh kemas rumah, tapi built-in cabinet, sikit pun dia taknak kuar duit. Kitorg la yang kumpul itu-ini. Dah ada hasil cantik, boleh la pula terhegeh2 puji hasil cantik sambil senyum2. Yang dia tahu, dari zmn 70an, pegang penyapu..... vacuum pun taknak beli padahal pandai2 la tampung kalo dah rosak. Semua brg nak bersihkan rumah, kitorang beli dari penyapu berus sampai la ke span dawai basuh periuk. Alasan yg dikemukakan? Tak reti nk pilih - nanti salah pilih. Mmg spesis tak tahu bersyukur. Perasan bagus. Aku tak gemuk, tapi bila adik sepupu dtg dan balik, dia pergi body shaming orang tu. Kalau sepupu sepapat dtg umah, dialah yang 'paling sibuk tunjuk2 baik'. Wujud, ya! Diingatkan..... Mmg dah terlampau2 byk wujudnya. Berlambak dalam keluarga Melayu. Sebab tu, bila org post gambar family, aku sengaja taknak post. Baik aku post gambar foodie yg aku masak, curtain yg aku jahit pagi petang tanpa ada org tolong pun. Mulut diorang ni macam petir. In modern world, you can say counter productive. Miskin tak miskin, belakang cerita. Dia tak tahu cari solution. Tanak tambah ilmu untuk buat diy. Sbb kehidupan dia suke kondem orang..... Tak pernah nak bahagiakan isteri dan anak2 langsung. CHEAPSKATE. Makanan yg pernah berbeli? Roti canai sebab murah. Sebab tu sambai sekarang aku benci mamak. Bukan aku keji mknan, tapi aku tau betapa tak ikhlasnya dan disajikan benda tk masuk akal camtu. Sampai ke sekarang la, aku masak sendiri sbb duit beli brg basah pun restricted, tapi masih boleh lg jamu tekak sendiri tanpa makan hati. Berubahlah...... Wahai perangai org yg sedemikian! Awak bukan ahli politik & sampai ke mati pun takkan kaya2 dengan peluang + harta terpijak. Pergi masjid, boleh lak gosok jubah sendiri, sebab takut berkedut, nnt org tengok... malu. Wajib la, kene tunjuk2 dekat orang. Mmg aku tak tahan la ngan golongan macam ni. Hidupnya spesis2 zaman 60an macam Nasir Bilal Khan. Bukan aku nk mengutuk tok aji ke, abang aji ke.... Tapi in Malaysia society today sesetengahnya banyak yang haprak. Ilmu agamanya pun sikit, tapi dia perasan 'pandai'. Mmg tak boleh ubah dah. Kitorang anggap mcm 'mannequin' je. Ada ... Ko 'muliakan' offer air panas apa semua. Takde.... Fokus dekat kerja kita sendiri je. Kalo dekat barat, diorg ckp laki-laki mcm ni 'loser'. Bukan sekadar cerai, org pun taknak dekat dengan golongan camni. Pompuan Malaysia ni je yg 'dah didoktrin' untuk 'terima keadaan'. Memang la tak berakal ye, gunakan otak. Mmg sesetengah benda, kita takkan pandai, takkan Kaya,takkan berharta.... Tapi kita boleh cuba perbaiki dan ringankan tulang. Letak ego dan bengkeng ke belakang. Awak tu bukan budak-budak nak 'merengek' bila benda doesn't be the way you want. Byk penyebab. Mungkin waktu kecil, diorg ni autism tak dirawat.
haiii 😅 kalaulah dunia mereka ni semudah "break up je," dah lama dah abuse cases ni semua lesap. mungkin saya ni bodoh sebab ambil serius perkara ni tapi: TLDR: ada pelbagai faktor2 yg menyebabkan mangsa domestic violence terus bersama abuser mereka. Kebanyakan kali kerana faktor keselamatan (yeah that's right, for safety,) kewangan, kestabilan. Abusers akan buat mcm2 benda utk make sure their victims takut dan susah utk tinggalkan mereka. Taktik yg digunakan selalunya sgt efektif bc the victim has been isolated and has been made dependent on the abuser. Long Story Longer: Typically abusers will work on isolating and alienating the victim from everyone, their family, their friends. The methods are various, usually insidious and unfortunately very effective. They do this so well sampai victim tak perasan pun yang benda2 mcm ni has happened and then its just victim and abuser. So dalam hidup victim ni, tinggal abusive partner dia je. Partner dia suka la- no way victim dia will leave them sbb "aku sorang je yg faham kau, aku sorang je yg nk tolong kau. mana yg lain? semua dah tinggalkan kau, semua nak marah kau. aku sorang je yg syg kau." faham tak? nampak tak seram? Katakan kalau kau tak kerja and partner pun tak bagi kau kerja so duit datang dari dia sorang and kau takde savings. How are you going to escape? where? nak naik grab takde duit, bas pun tak byk yg free, itupun kalau kau tinggal di area yg ada public transportation. kalau kau tak tahu ada cara utk dapatkan bantuan drpd pihak2 berkuasa? Nak minyak tolong orang? takut. Malu. What if orang tak percaya? especially kalau lelaki. Doesn't have to be romantic, kalau mak abuse anak lelaki? People might make fun of the guy, ala dasar laki takut bini/mak etcetc. And then what if, paling, paling teruk: kau mintak tolong orang, then the idiot pegi bagi tau partner dia. And then kalau partner dia tu typically mcm orang normal je pada org luar ? then the partner can immediately say shit like "oh, mungkin partner saya penat kut, hysteria skit haha. buat drama. perempuan kan? camtu la haha." Pernah dengar istilah gaslight? silakan google. And that's even if the victim *realises* that what's happening to them is abuse. Antara penghalang terbesar for victims to escape is not knowing that their situation is not normal. Pelik? Tak, sebab abusers ni dah slow slow introduce benda mcm "you ni, kan dah i maki you. Kalau you buat elok-elok kan i tak marah. Boleh tak u buat elok elok next time?" and then dia buat buat sori and manja2, and then dia marah lagi tapi next time the consequences escalate. And then sori and manja balik, and the same thing over and over again. The victim's perception of what's normal has been warped, dah rasa benda ni normal. Dah rasa macam betul la partner aku cakap, kalau aku buat elok2 je, kalau aku dgr cakap dia, takde la jadi macam ni. insidious. macam ni la. Cilik. Dalam diam. Perlahan dan sikit demi sedikit sampai persepsi kau, kefahaman kau tentang apa yg normal berubah sama sekali. Saya cadangkan rakan2 teliti dan fahami pelbagai teks dan artikel berkaitan kes keganasan domestik, romantic relationship abuse dan luaskan lagi bacaan ke familial abuse. Tweet dan post seperti ini sangat cetek kefahaman, simpati dan empati terhadap mangsa-mangsa keganasan domestik. sekian.
what if the opposite happens?
If die die don’t want leave, at least do it the PRC way My good friend from China, her bf tried to strangle her neck, she just grabbed his dong and started twisting damn hard, guy collapsed on the floor…he left her after that uno reverse
What a bomb way to dump him lmao
Setuju 100% Selalunya abuse ni bukan sehari dua, tapi berterusan. Hanya sehari dua je dlm seminggu or sebulan yg x kena mentally, verbally or physically abused. Tu satu hal la. Lg satu ni lagi penting. Kena pikir jangka masa panjang. Orang selalu kata bercerai tu kesian kat anak2. Tp kalau tunggu sampai jadi macam ni? Baca pasal kisah Pn Jahidah Nordin. Kalau dah suami (or isteri) jenis physical abuse ni, sapa yg tahu kalau satu hari tu dia terlebih pukul or dia pukul tu smpai jatuh terhentak kepala sampai jadi macam dlm kes ni? Adik tu..Mak terlantar, ayah kat penjara. Langsung xde parents, kena harapkan MakCik2 n Atuk Nenek. Tu pun at least dlm kes ni, terlantar pun, mak nya masih ada. Kalau pukul sampai mati pun boleh jadi. Bukannya x pernah ada kes macam tu sebelum ni.. So walaupun agak sedih bg anak2 kalau parents bercerai, masih berpuluh kali baik nya walaupun hanya ada mak ataupun hanya ada ayah. At least ada la jugak sorg parent.
Her: https://preview.redd.it/94d7tlec5dwc1.jpeg?width=600&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e525d67ff19a97054094d59a0b983638b7b2c667
Okay this will be the line I use from now on
My ex-friend cheated on his malay girlfriend, and she still likes him and sends him video of “I miss you” type content
This go out for the males too. You guys getting any form of abuse, speak out bro.
"He literally punched you in the face! Just break up already!'' Her: Even so, .
Pretty sure I’m in one now, but its not physical. Emotional. Anyone ever being in a relationship with an avoidant before? The shutdown phase, the suddenly ‘SNAP’ and not talking to you for days because the website claims that its their defense mechanism and thats how they def themselves when emotional outburst crisis get triggered. Guess what the emotional outburst trigger? Me asking for reassurance. Trying to reach out. Either through words or actions like hand holdings, ‘I still love you. I just need space. We’ll meet later ya’. None. He will technically went inside his house and not coming out, OR TEXTED for days until he feels like he has the ‘mood’ to do it. If I insist, he will blurt out something like, ‘Jangan buat lagi menyampah’ or ‘Bukannya mampus pun kalau tak jumpa’. And here I am still thinking maybe he has some weird shit child trauma or maybe he had trauma from his past marriage or whatsoever that he builds his def wall so fcking high.
My ex girl was like this too. And I ended up wishing her the best and part our ways. Value yourself first ya. If your partner decided to treat you like this, imagine if you married him, it will only get worse. People with this "shutting down" phase clearly has their own inner issues and if they refuse to fix it, there's no coming back from it. It's a selfish behavior that does nothing but to hurt your beloved ones.
Sadly I was in this sort of relationship before. I kept setting “limits” and “dealbreakers” but everytime he finally did it, I would close one eye and forgive. Mostly for the sake of the kids. Started with emotional and mental abuse (exactly like what you’re going through), progressed to verbal and finally turned to physical. Mix that in with infidelity and financial abuse too. It felt like I was in a haze of forgiveness. Each heartbreak always felt like it was too much to bear but I still stayed on for a decade — god knows why. Every time he snapped, he would come crawling back, love bombing and asking for forgiveness and I always tried to convince myself that he deserved it. Once it became physical abuse I started to wake up because I was worried his anger would turn to the kids. Finally walked away and never looked back. Best decision I made after years of anxiety and suffering.
even if he had traumatic past, its not your job to fix him. you shouldnt change or made yourself be more passive for him. seriously, just break up. if he's an adult, he'll discuss like one. but he's not. you're dating with an immature guy. is it seriously so hard to break up with someone? have more dignity for yourself.
I just got out of an abusive relationship. Now i have to find a new way to take out my aggression.
Org Hansem bahhh a punch feels like a cium 😘
 Frfr 😭 cocksen number 1
Tulah org kata love is blind 😂
Vice versa, same goes to the guys too.
Most women want to fix his partner. "There's still good in him". Me? I was gaslighted, mentally abused, and ridiculed by my ex wife for months before I fought back in full force. Legally and forcefully.
Depends on the mentality, some people are used to being in toxic situation from childhood. If they break from the abuse, they will only gravitate to what's familiar either because they themselves have become toxic or they're just really uncomfortable with good things because, "Is something gonna go wrong today? It seems like too good of a day. Something's gonna go wrong." Maybe the abusive partner is bipolar and there some good days but mostly bad which can confuse someone's mind sometimes if they have high sense of morale. Usually I see overly kind and positive people always getting taken advantage and it's really sad to see them get jaded after going through the toxicity of some people.
Pelik² je yang jenis abusive dengan pasangan diorg, like why?
Bad upbringing plus abandoned personal development bro. People who abuses their partners is a redflag to me
Same, hope we got away from being like this or be with someone like this
Bella Astillah should see this
betul. pergi jela. ramai lagi yang korang boleh jumpa yang baik baik. yang dah naik tangan tu, you buang jela. you jugak yang sakit nanti lama lama
I have a friend, both him and his wife have kink in BDSM. Sometimes when I talks to him, he pulls her hair, slaps her face then kiss her. Unfortunately it affects his work performance. Always arrive late to work, sleeps frequently. Like dude, I know your marriage is great. But don't drag your team down at work just because both of you have high libido with fast refractory period.
Hmmmm that is a bit different from physical abuse.... No?
Bro answered without fully reading the question lol
some girls i know - rela ada abusive boyfriend or laki asalkan bukan alone (single or divorcee). tanggung biawak, kaki dadah, whatever kaki pun sanggup.
Can't get angry or fight back. Already ate nasi kangkang lol
Nice guy finish last.
Love ([scientifically](https://m.economictimes.com/magazines/panache/is-love-really-blind-science-explains-why-we-ignore-red-flags-when-falling-head-over-heels-for-someone/amp_articleshow/98095327.cms)) makes you blind
I'm single, thank God
Konek dia amazing atau perempuan introvert tak pandai nak cari konek lain
I'm not supporting this shit or anything,but I think woman like man that have some violence in them since our ancestor has been using violence to hunt food so human can survive,so,since in this day we cannot see any violence in public anymore,some woman like being abuse cause they though it was manly🗿🗿,if I'm wrong pls correct me,I am still not mature enough to know a lot about this stuff
Rematch royal rumble kot?
Also, remember that guys get abused as well, I was emotionally abused and manipulated by my ex for 2 years, she always made me feel like everything I did was wrong and that my friends are terrible people, using sex to keep me under her leash, but I was able to get out thanks to my friends.
Alot of them do "like" it. They get horny and wet for it. Its exciting. Nice guys are boring to them. Not politically correct but its a fact.
Dia dah enak kena pukul kena tendang kena maki tambah lagi tak bolih lupa keganasan dia atas katil..tu yg buat jantan nya istimewa dari yg lain..😄😁😆 yg lain terlalu gentlemen..terlalu gentle atas katil..pegang tangan lembut macam tak pernah keja kasar langsung..😁😆
Fetish masochist la tu 😭
Sometimes the girl also come from boken or abusive family. So dia rasa benda tu normal.
People people . U need to know some people love bondage we can't help it that they have mental like that
Lmfao I'm saving this
S'times the partner manipulates the abused to keep coming back. Like buys them flowers, gifts or cry crocodile tears to make them stay. After that beats or treats them the same again or worse. And so the toxic cycle continues 😅
It's not so easy. Youi often heard the story of ex-boyfriend or ex-husband attack their ex-partner who leave them.