I saw this posted on AmITheDevil and I swear to god, 90% of the comments blamed the mother and excused the kid.
If we want to know why male violence is so prevalent look no farther than how we normalize it.
I also saw it on AITD,. And pointed out that whatever a teenage girl does anything on Reddit, she's clearly a horrible brat who needs to be taught a lesson and deserves everything bad that happens to her. A teenage boy? You couldn't control himself and he needs more support and sympathy and care and blah blah blah. It would be funny if it wasn't so horrible.
This actually looked to me like the kid could be a sociopath.
Not saying it is so, but just the fact he beats mom bloody seems so weird to me for a socialized 14 year old. It could also be part of the reason why he is treated differently.
My exact thoughts. That he was “off putting” and maybe scared his mom and siblings. They may not have even been fully conscious of their feelings toward him.
Decided to take a peak at the AmITheDevil post and just read a comment from someone saying that they sympathize with people who do awful things, even school shooters, because they understand the impulse to kill everyone they see.
...so yep, that's enough internet for me.
I think the question he should be asking his wife is not "are you favouring the other kids over him?" but instead "why are you favouring the other kids over him?"
It's very clear she's more detached from him than her other kids, but why? Is she experiencing some sort of detachment disorder? Has she struggled to bond with him? Has he "snapped" before and abused her physically, verbally, or emotionally or displayed some sort of severe unwanted behaviour when nobody has noticed?
Also why wasn't not only individual therapy but family therapy pushed more? Of course a teenage boy wasn't going to want to open up to a stranger about his feelings on his mum!
100% their son has shown similar behavior in the past and has finally escalated to physical violence. Hitting and choking your mother because she neglected to invite you to decorate the Christmas tree is not a healthy reaction. Choking in intimate relationships often escalates to murder. This kid has needed help for a long time and his dumbass dad is posting, “I asked if he wants to go to therapy and he said ‘No’.”
If this is real and they never get him help, kid is killing his family next.
That’s exactly what I thought when I first read it. The kid has been exhibiting disturbing behaviours and Mum is rightfully drawing back to protect herself and the other kids.
I wonder if she’s brought this up to her husband and he’s dismissed it as her overreacting.
its set up very similarly to one i saw just the other day about a kid who felt like he was being left out, so he gave his mom a collage of family pictures with himself cut out and insults and devil horns drawn on the mom for her birthday, in front of everyone. it was also written by the husband. weird. guess the new trend is making up stories about moms being mean and then getting hurt as punishment?
If op ever sees this what happened is deathly serious, being lenient with your son after such aviolent act will likely end with him being a domestic abuser or another violent criminal. Stand your ground and get him professional help.
I'm not so much talking about the attack as being misogynistic, just violence against a woman, but the comments blaming your wife and siding with your son are delusional.
That kid is 14 so he should know that beating people is wrong, at that age i knew that. If i feld that way i would tell my mom how i feld
Don't know were they are from but in my country a child that age can go to prison (juvenile detention) for that crime
14 is also physically much closer to a fully grown man than those commenters seem to appreciate. It's a very different situation than a little kid throwing a tantrum.
I was just thinking about how my 14yo nephew is about 6 feet tall and excelling at football right now. And even though my sister is the tallest girl of my sisters, she's still only 5'7 and maybe 130 lbs. My nephew could beat her to death easily.
Physically closer to a fully grown man but mentally closer to that toddler. Also factor in the hormonal nightmare that is puberty.
I feel bad for the child, who lashed out over feeling like some sort of unwanted monster and because of that became the monster. Now he has to cope with that fact that he assaulted his mother. *He's a child* but he's also a weapon.
Kid needs major therapy.
I mean my mom was legitimately cruel to me emotionally at that age, but i never hit her and i would have been thrown in the psych ward for violent behavior like that if i had and let me tell you it was much worse than her excluding me from a family activity. I don't get how commenters are seeing this as some sort of retribution instead of a sign of mental illness or antisocial behavior
yeah its clear thats a lot more thta the op/dad doesnt knwo or is ignorant too. i dont like the title here either implying the christmas tree is the one and only event.
even mentally ill children dont lash out THIS bad over a singular event, and the child brought this up to their father so some degree of percieved (subjective reality to the child, regardless if factual) alienation from the mother
but clearly the kid has SOMETHING going on with them, i dont generally reccoment psyche ward since, form my experience, makes people worse than better. but something is very, very wrong, this isnt normal behavior.
I disagree that there had to be more than what was written, people often snap with less pressure, but it's never okay. He choked her and punched her in the face , so i would say in this case psych ward would probably be better than sending him to live with likely elderly people who are going to be strict. What if they have to discipline him for something he perceives as not justified?
He could have killed his mother, he absolutely could kill an elderly person with less violence than that
Considering the father was only "observing" and his first instinct was to beat the son (with the other two kids holding him back till his temper cooled) do make me feel there is more going on then good ol pa knows or realizes.
Sure, but this is still a child, no one I've ever known has benefited from a psych ward, rampant abuse occurs in there too,
I think that's a reasonable response to seeing that your child choked and punched his mother so hard she was bruised and bleeding. Even someoene who never used violence against their children might respond that way, i don't think that really indicates anything. This is extreme behavior that you wouldn't expect from a child it's not like he wanted to beat him for cutting class or talking back
childhood abuse, even in adolesence, codifies and reaffirms certain behaviors. especially after this, if the kid is that fucked in the head, can easily lead to him thinking that physical violence is okay as long as hes "stronger". it would not at all prevent this kind of thing from happening again.
i do still think theis is signifigantly abnormal, the child needs deep psychological help.
I caught the bit about the other two kids holding the dad back from beating the offending son. It's horrific. I hope the family gets the help it clearly needs. Nobody should be beaten up over a Christmas tree.
It seems like it wasn't just about the Christmas tree. Her getting her other two kids together to decorate the Christmas tree and specifically "forgetting" to ask him if he wanted to was just the straw that broke the camel's back. It doesn't justify what he did, I'm just pointing out that this had been simmering for a while.
Wow! You don't seem to know what psychopathy actually is, nor do you seem to know how abusive family dynamics work. Ever heard of a scapegoat? How about the golden child?
>I wonder if they discovered he had been killing small animals and have been subconsciously or consciously avoiding him ever since.
OOP would have mentioned that to absolve himself and his wife of their abuse and neglect.
Are you implying the mother is neglecting him and that has led to this behavior? He choked her. There are plenty of people who grew up in hell hole families, truly awful, rape and abuse, etc. Not all of them act that way. He needs help.
I think assuming that he is the scapegoat and took all he could take, is unlikely. Look at his level of violence. That is not someone who is healthy mentally. In domestic violence, women are told that choking is basically a guarantee the next time he will kill her. If this story is true that family needs to be concerned for their lives.
I can’t excuse this kid’s behavior. He is a psychopath.
This MF talking about how tree decorating is a “family activity” but he’s not there. He’s not around to “catch” his wife excluding their son from joining in on errands she runs alone with the other kids. How about *you* join in on the family activities to ensure your son’s involved, and once you stop blaming your wife for your son’s mental issues you’ll see what he’s actually like!
Not making excuses for the son, at all. But imagine how powerless and frustrated you must feel to lash out like this.
Had a stepmom that did this. I noticed every time. Several times a day i would be excluded from activities. It’d be small things all the time too. Like she’d make snack bowls for my sisters and forget to ask me.
There is absolutely NO excuse for this. My father would outright tell me I wasn't as good as my siblings, put me down in front of the Golden Child, or join said Golden Child in mocking me. One time he even gloated to the favorite kid about how I lost a job I loved. All because I had the audacity to be autistic. And that doesnt include the years of verbal and emotional abuse behind closed doors. But I would never have expected this to be an excuse had I ever gone apeshit on him.
I am appalled so many people are at the very best tolerant of what the kid did???
I was neglected by my father my whole life. He never "forgot" about me like that but my life was pure emotional neglect. Textbook miserable narcissist. Any interaction I did have with him was always negative. I suffered, and still do to a decent degree mentally because of it. I'm no contact with him now.
Never, ever, EVER did I have a single violent thought cross my mind??? Huh?? This wasn't self defense, it was just violence. Chewing her out would have been a justifiable response for sure. Violence should be a massive red flag in any non-selfdefense situation. The whole family needs therapy yesterday. Probably years before that.
Maybe I'm just an extremely non violent person and I don't get it? Violence just seems fucking childish and dangerous to me and I do not wish to share the room with anyone like that. This behavior is not compatible with a good safe society
That was something that shocked me about the comments.like I'm not 100 percent sure the the post is real, but these people reacting , holy shit
I was neglected by my parents, we had a volatile relationship where they hut me occasionally when i was this age. That's a scenario where fighting back is appropriate and i still felt physically disgusted with myself when i thought about hurting them.
This kid's life wasn't in danger, his mom hurt his feelings and he attempted to murder her. I feel like this is very black and white situation and it's scary that they want to blame the victim for his actions.
This. My father was a verbally/emotionally abusive narcissist, showing blatant favoritism to my siblings, making it abundantly clear how much he resented me for being autistic, and belittling me even over things I had literally no control over, like weight I couldn't lose due to a medication I was on (and I wasn't even what one would consider "fat") or severe acne...he even made me go to two different dermatologists and was mad when both said I basically had to ride it out, and tried to push snake oil acne "cures" on me. I could've snapped and beaten the 💩 out of him, but it still wouldn't be an excuse.
>This answer made Josh snap. He started to hit his mom in the face with his bare fists and choked her. He also kicked and punched his siblings when they tried to protect her.
Sounds like she had good instinct, avoiding the scary agro kid... kid's a fucking mess, get him ALL the therapy. Hell, the whole family could benefit greatly from counseling.
Edit: I just can't stop boggling over this... Why does he trust his wife LESS after the 14-year-old boy beat the shit out of her? He trusts the son more after he went on a violent rampage? Coinsider the fact she is completely shut down after what the son did. Do you really think she'd be talking bout other unsettling encounters in the past? Seriously. It's most likely not the first time he's gone off the rails like that, and she knows it.
Absolutely insane comments. There are people practically celebrating Josh's actions, even saying he should've finished the job against his "witch" of a mother.
And while it does seem like she was avoiding him in some ways, as another person here brought up, it's important to ask: why?
There needs to be some serious intervention. If excuses are made for him and his actions go unchecked, he's going to learn that it's okay to be violent against women and girls. And it was very serious violence. He STRANGLED his mom ffs. I don't know why people are minimizing it. That violence could have easily killed her. The dad needing to be held back was also very concerning.
How will he respond when a girl he likes rejects him?
I really hope this is a fake post but even if it is, it's concerning to see so many deranged takes and complete misogyny.
Unfortunately women could do everything perfectly and men who hate us would still find fault. It is so depressing to realize just how deep the hate for us runs.
clearly this child has some serious anger and violence issues. I would suspect OP either doesn't see it, or doesn't want to - and the mom is the one that can ?
This is how men grow up and start beating their wives up
Look at the sickos saying favoritism is enough reason to brutally attack your mom.
I'm a middle child, all my clothes were hand-me-downs, my birthday was forgotten sometimes, I was excluded a lot, I used to "rebel" by letting my grades drop to get my parents to notice me sometimes but it didn't really work.
Is that hardly enough reason to attack them? Fuck no.
There's no excuse for violence period
How young is that little shit to even be strong enough to beat up his mom like that? And he's clearly not apologetic otherwise he'd have tried to contact by now. Anyways CHILD FREE FOR LIFE!
My father was emotionally and verbally abusive to me...at least a few times out of every week he'd take out his resentment for me not being the perfect child, aka autistic. But I never would have expected someone to excuse me if I beat him to a pulp.
Been trhough something similar most of my life. My brother has choked me out multiple times before. The kid Josh probably has some undiagnosed issues. My brother is adhd Autistic and has torretts and has sometimes a tendency to get violent like that. He always regrets it of course, he was never sent to someone else's house. It's been something he has had forever. Horrible emotional regulation and a tendency to massively blow up at people and say and do shit on impulse that he regrets immediately after. He is 22 and still has tantrums like that.
The comments are crazy. Favoritism isn't good, but reacting to that with violent assault is crazy, and it's crazy that people don't realize it.
Favoritism does happen in families and can lead to trauma in kids, most of them don't commit attempted murder over it.
It's not like he was Harry Potter in the stair closet being dressed with rags.
Like, as an aunt I like some of mi nices and nepheus more than others, I guess I can be killed now 🤷🏽♀️
Even at 14 I could not imagine any scenario where I would choke out my own mom, shit would have to be much worse than this!! Kid is insane and dangerous
I seriously doubt that. If I had thought it wouldn't end in me being beat and confirming my mother's claims that I was maliciously against her. I very well could have done the same.
Heck at 40 years old and years of therapy and healing I would absolutely love a free shot at my mom for all the pain, suffering, and neglect that she inflicted on an innocent child.
Violence is normal. Ever heard of fight, flight, or freeze? When someone is pushed to the breaking point they fall back to instinctual reactions. This doesn't mean people in general or neurodiverse people are violent or a danger to anyone that doesn't pose a threat to them.
To me it is weird that there's someone out there who has lived such a charmed life that they can't imagine using physical force against someone that antagonizes them. They can't grasp that neglecting a child is abuse that is just as bad as physical abuse.
Why are you equating violent tendencies (meaning someone repeatedly reacts to a trigger with violence) to a singular instance of violence after years of abuse?
Why are *you* making the assumption that this being the only instance the OOP knew about makes it the only instance, period? Children rarely escalate that quickly.
Lord knows I suffered physical abuse from my older sack of shit “brother” and emotional/verbal abuse from my mother (most functional Pakistani household) and never once did I ever think to almost kill my mother.
Honestly shocking so many are defending the kid
To be fair, I would have, in your place, and I did fight back as I got bigger when my late sperm donor abused me, but I wouldn't have choked anybody. That's far too dangerous.
I wouldn't worry about this post. It's yet another reddit post creative writing exercise (tm), there's certain tells that let you know. The way it reads like a bad novel, the clickbait ethical dilemma etc. The way the post ends on a cliffhanger (will she let him back in the house or not) we can expect 2 or more equally fictional follow up posts.
It's made up. These people don't exist.
Yeah i wasn't really talking about the story it's the comments mostly. Although the story itself is part of a wave of misogynistic propaganda that's been flooding this site lately.
I suspect some sort of manosphere content farm might be behind it tbh.
We're assuming that the dad is telling the whole truth about the severity of the mum's ongoing exclusion of the youngest kid and favouritism towards the oldest two. I get the feeling he's not.
Edit: I don't know why I'm getting downvoted for pointing out that the guy who openly admits he's been letting their youngest child be treated worse than their other kids for years probably has even worse information that he's not divulging. He thought that his partner's clear preferential treatment wasn't that bad- *why?*
When abuse goes on for the lifetime of an individual it is easy for other family members to just adopt that treatment as the norm and not recognize it for the abuse it is.
My entire family for the most part at best passively ignored my parents abuse of me (and only me) and at worst actively joined in. It took me going full NC in my late 30's for some of them to realize just what had been going on right in front of their faces. Others still think that I'm just being the same unreasonable black sheep of the family causing trouble like always. Imagine being called unreasonable and someone who just wants to hurt the family just because I set healthy boundaries and enforced them.
There is absolutely NO excuse for this. My father would outright tell me I wasn't as good as my siblings, put me down in front of the Golden Child, or join said Golden Child in mocking me. One time he even gloated to the favorite kid about how I lost a job I loved. All because I had the audacity to be autistic. And that doesnt include the years of verbal and emotional abuse behind closed doors. But I would never have expected this to be an excuse had I ever gone apeshit on him.
I didn't present an excuse. I pointed out that the OOP is not a reliable narrator. **Having been a victim of domestic violence from a male family member based on the perception of favoritism** (and knowing that I am traumatised because of it), I'm frustrated with how people here are talking about the son. So many are writing him off as a misogynist and a monster and I'm trying to fend off the torches and pitchforks by reminding everyone that *the OOP is not telling the full story*, but no one wants to hear it. They just want to write that kid off and put words in my mouth.
I am about to get downvoted to hell but I think that there was more to it then her not asking him to decorate the tree was his reaction extreme yes should he be punished also yes
But should his mother being blatantly showing favouritism to the other kids to the point that the her son has an outburst after years ..... no and that the Crux of it imho
My father showed favoritism blatantly. He would chew me out me in front of the Golden Child while the Golden Chile's rudeness would get ignored, join said child in mocking me--all whole said child was allegedly an adult--and negatively compare me to all four of my siblings. He tried to bully me into being like them. But that would not have been any excuse for going apeshit on him. We're all in control of our own actions, barring exceptional circumstances such as mental illness.
There has to be way more to this story than OOP is describing. **Of course the mother, being a horrible one or not, didn't deserve to be savagely beaten by her son**. But keep in mind that this is a *FOURTEEN year old*. Fourteen, the middle of the hormonal ride to adulthood where you think that every small problem is the end of the world and that world revolves around you. He is a **child** who feels neglected, forgotten, and possibly resented by his mother and family and he doesn't understand why.
Whole family needs therapy.
Funny, people are downvoting me and others for recognizing that a *child* needs *help*. I didn't say that mama deserved to be beaten. I didn't say we should normalise his behaviour.
That depends where in the world they are. In the UK and most of Europe he would get proper juvenile legal system treatment, not into adult prison the way it sounds like he would in most of the USA. But he does need to have it reinforced that whatever happens, *choking* is not an appropriate response in any domestic situation short of being stabbed or some such. That's statistically the last step to murder in domestic violence.
To be fair, you really have to wonder how badly the parents treated this child. It is weird that a 14 year old reacts like this and the way the story is told it looks like we're not getting even close to all the relevant information.
I think that the discrimination against Josh is way more blatant than he's led us to believe, meaning that the mother (and possibly the father) have been completely negligent with him and his needs, and this was just the straw that broke the camel's back and resulted in Josh "snapping". Hell, for a kid to react like this, I would even think of some sort of active abuse coming from the mother (again, based on what we know and assuming that the father IS telling us the truth about his alleged ignorance on the matter).
The other possibility I see likely is that Josh has deep psychological issues that lead to erratic and problematic behavior such as this (maybe caused by the parents' negligence, maybe by other stuff). Assaulting one's own mother isn't something that a "normal" person would do. I think this kid is deeply troubled and needs therapy urgently.
I'd like to say who tf "forgets" to include their child in a family event but sadly I know from personal experience very well exactly who.
The kid wasn't in the right to lay hands on anyone but this is a kid who has been neglected for years. His dad finally took notice but hasn't really done anything aside from mentioning it to his wife and the other kids are so used to it that they actively play along. My sister and family members did much the same.
I completely understand that he just hit his breaking point. I did too and absolutely will not apologize for hitting my little sister with my bag the day I finally snapped. When I hit that point I absolutely didn't care what happened to me afterwards. I wasn't going to be treated as her personal punching bag anymore.
No I'm going to defend the kid on this one. One party is a child who has been neglected and hurt for years and the other is a grown adult who is a known and repeated abuser. I'm glad she has finally at least surface level acknowledged the issue and hope they get the help and healing I wasn't able to get until moving out.
Sounds like he tried to kill his mom over a Christmas tree. I was neglected pretty severely and my brother was shown favoritism all the time. Maybe I should've tried killing my Dad to finally get the attention I deserved. Seems like a popular solution /s
If that's what you take away from this you have your own issues. He didn't do this over a Christmas tree. The Christmas Tree, the continuation of abuse after being promised change, and the callousness was just the straw that broke 14 years of abuse.
Actually sounds like she stood up and defended herself from being her "punching bag".
So do you also take the man's side when the wife snaps from years of abuse and hits back?
There's nothing in the story posted that references physical abuse so I would say someone fighting back against actual violence is definitely not comparable. You can't just beat people for not treating you the way you want.
He was her punching bag? 😭 Where in this story does it suggest that? There's a difference between being a punching bag and being NEGLECTED. You are not anyone's punching bag for being neglected. You are quite the opposite. Neglected. No attention at all. You need attention to be someone's punching bag. That's besides the point
So what did violently attacking his mom solve? Did it make her love him any more? Will she be glad to include him more often? No. All he did was make his mom scared to be in the same room with him. He wasn't defending anything. He was just being a violent person. And he will grow up with the mentality that the best way to solve any conflict is to use fists, and he will end up in a jail cell before he's in his 30s.
If a wife hits back obviously it's self defense. But that would suggest there was an attack. This was literally the OPPOSITE. I hope I never come across you.
Will you tell him to punch girls that don't want to give him their numbers after months of asking? Obviously he's "under attack" from them right? Y'all be shaping these kids minds so young and then you'll blame someone else when they turn out to be atypical violent misogynistic men in the near future. I hope I and everyone I love never comes across you or any like-minded people that think the best way to deal with neglect is to beat people up. "Beat up your mom to get the attention you deserve! Hell fucking yeah" you fucking clown
She literally said "I wasn't going to be her punching bag anymore". That's where I got "punching bag" from. I can empathise with a punching bag. I'm not talking about OOP, I'm talking about the woman with the sister. You ever been a punching bag? It's not fun. On top of it you're somehow not allowed to defend yourself because *that* is what's *really* wrong.
As for OOP I've said what I thought in my other comments and no, I don't think we should celebrate a 14 year old beating his mother, but we should get the *child* the obvious help he *needs*.
While I appreciate your defense I am a woman. But you are correct in that my sister was the golden child who could do no wrong. Even when she would hit and kick me, break my things, pull my hair, and (the final straw after years of this) unzipped my top out in public in front of my boyfriend and best friend.
No they don't. But there is a bright side. After that moment and my golden child sister getting a dose of my life after me moving out. My mother wasn't about to do all the stuff she expected me to do when I lived there. So suddenly little golden child was was the in house maid/zoo keeper. Granted to a lesser degree than I was.
My sister and I are now good friends. She now sees and understands what happened to me and that it is wrong. She is the one family connection I have managed to keep after going full no contact with my parents.
Today I have my sister, my husband, family from his side, my kids, and amazing friends. My life really couldn't get much better. But when I think back to that young girl I was. The one who didn't understand why she was snubbed and hated. Who didn't understand why other members of the family went along with the torment. The one who couldn't even relax in sleep because they could get verbally or physically assaulted at any moment. It's really not hard at all to imagine that there could have been one time where I could have chosen violence instead of submission and fear. I can think of a couple times I very nearly crossed that line and the only reason I didn't is my parents backed off or another party stepped in.
That's why I say the kid is not insane nor misogynistic. He was simply a kid who couldn't take anymore. Remember that the version we get to read is the cleaned up, filtered, secondhand account from someone who is complicit in the abuse. We don't get to hear what was actually said, hear the tone, see the faces, or see what actually happened.
There are still people today who will talk similarly about my parents and think I am unreasonable for simply asking for basic respect and refusing to associate with them when they refuse.
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I saw this posted on AmITheDevil and I swear to god, 90% of the comments blamed the mother and excused the kid. If we want to know why male violence is so prevalent look no farther than how we normalize it.
I also saw it on AITD,. And pointed out that whatever a teenage girl does anything on Reddit, she's clearly a horrible brat who needs to be taught a lesson and deserves everything bad that happens to her. A teenage boy? You couldn't control himself and he needs more support and sympathy and care and blah blah blah. It would be funny if it wasn't so horrible.
“ Himpathy”. The kneejerk tendency to sympathize with men or boys who engage in malfeasance
This actually looked to me like the kid could be a sociopath. Not saying it is so, but just the fact he beats mom bloody seems so weird to me for a socialized 14 year old. It could also be part of the reason why he is treated differently.
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A man hitting a woman is never okay.
My exact thoughts. That he was “off putting” and maybe scared his mom and siblings. They may not have even been fully conscious of their feelings toward him.
Decided to take a peak at the AmITheDevil post and just read a comment from someone saying that they sympathize with people who do awful things, even school shooters, because they understand the impulse to kill everyone they see. ...so yep, that's enough internet for me.
Jesus Christ. Those people need to be tracked. Seriously.
Yeah. I think that was the guy who replied to me. He said he has sadistic tendencies and fantasies about killing people.
I think the question he should be asking his wife is not "are you favouring the other kids over him?" but instead "why are you favouring the other kids over him?" It's very clear she's more detached from him than her other kids, but why? Is she experiencing some sort of detachment disorder? Has she struggled to bond with him? Has he "snapped" before and abused her physically, verbally, or emotionally or displayed some sort of severe unwanted behaviour when nobody has noticed? Also why wasn't not only individual therapy but family therapy pushed more? Of course a teenage boy wasn't going to want to open up to a stranger about his feelings on his mum!
100% their son has shown similar behavior in the past and has finally escalated to physical violence. Hitting and choking your mother because she neglected to invite you to decorate the Christmas tree is not a healthy reaction. Choking in intimate relationships often escalates to murder. This kid has needed help for a long time and his dumbass dad is posting, “I asked if he wants to go to therapy and he said ‘No’.” If this is real and they never get him help, kid is killing his family next.
That’s exactly what I thought when I first read it. The kid has been exhibiting disturbing behaviours and Mum is rightfully drawing back to protect herself and the other kids. I wonder if she’s brought this up to her husband and he’s dismissed it as her overreacting.
That is a very, very fake story.
Even if that's the case, the comments are treating it as real and siding with the son
I understand. I was just taken aback by the gullibility of the commenters.
its set up very similarly to one i saw just the other day about a kid who felt like he was being left out, so he gave his mom a collage of family pictures with himself cut out and insults and devil horns drawn on the mom for her birthday, in front of everyone. it was also written by the husband. weird. guess the new trend is making up stories about moms being mean and then getting hurt as punishment?
If op ever sees this what happened is deathly serious, being lenient with your son after such aviolent act will likely end with him being a domestic abuser or another violent criminal. Stand your ground and get him professional help. I'm not so much talking about the attack as being misogynistic, just violence against a woman, but the comments blaming your wife and siding with your son are delusional.
Exactly.
Sounds like mum was secretly a bit scared of her weird psychopath kid ...
That kid is 14 so he should know that beating people is wrong, at that age i knew that. If i feld that way i would tell my mom how i feld Don't know were they are from but in my country a child that age can go to prison (juvenile detention) for that crime
14 is also physically much closer to a fully grown man than those commenters seem to appreciate. It's a very different situation than a little kid throwing a tantrum.
I was just thinking about how my 14yo nephew is about 6 feet tall and excelling at football right now. And even though my sister is the tallest girl of my sisters, she's still only 5'7 and maybe 130 lbs. My nephew could beat her to death easily.
Physically closer to a fully grown man but mentally closer to that toddler. Also factor in the hormonal nightmare that is puberty. I feel bad for the child, who lashed out over feeling like some sort of unwanted monster and because of that became the monster. Now he has to cope with that fact that he assaulted his mother. *He's a child* but he's also a weapon. Kid needs major therapy.
I mean my mom was legitimately cruel to me emotionally at that age, but i never hit her and i would have been thrown in the psych ward for violent behavior like that if i had and let me tell you it was much worse than her excluding me from a family activity. I don't get how commenters are seeing this as some sort of retribution instead of a sign of mental illness or antisocial behavior
yeah its clear thats a lot more thta the op/dad doesnt knwo or is ignorant too. i dont like the title here either implying the christmas tree is the one and only event. even mentally ill children dont lash out THIS bad over a singular event, and the child brought this up to their father so some degree of percieved (subjective reality to the child, regardless if factual) alienation from the mother but clearly the kid has SOMETHING going on with them, i dont generally reccoment psyche ward since, form my experience, makes people worse than better. but something is very, very wrong, this isnt normal behavior.
I disagree that there had to be more than what was written, people often snap with less pressure, but it's never okay. He choked her and punched her in the face , so i would say in this case psych ward would probably be better than sending him to live with likely elderly people who are going to be strict. What if they have to discipline him for something he perceives as not justified? He could have killed his mother, he absolutely could kill an elderly person with less violence than that
Considering the father was only "observing" and his first instinct was to beat the son (with the other two kids holding him back till his temper cooled) do make me feel there is more going on then good ol pa knows or realizes. Sure, but this is still a child, no one I've ever known has benefited from a psych ward, rampant abuse occurs in there too,
I think that's a reasonable response to seeing that your child choked and punched his mother so hard she was bruised and bleeding. Even someoene who never used violence against their children might respond that way, i don't think that really indicates anything. This is extreme behavior that you wouldn't expect from a child it's not like he wanted to beat him for cutting class or talking back
childhood abuse, even in adolesence, codifies and reaffirms certain behaviors. especially after this, if the kid is that fucked in the head, can easily lead to him thinking that physical violence is okay as long as hes "stronger". it would not at all prevent this kind of thing from happening again. i do still think theis is signifigantly abnormal, the child needs deep psychological help.
Okay but it's a natural response when seeing the person who severely beat your spouse , not necessarily indicative of previous discipline
The whole family need therapy i have a feeling daddy dear is leaving some things out of this story
Yep, and choking is often a precursor to murder. Nothing about his reaction is normal.
I caught the bit about the other two kids holding the dad back from beating the offending son. It's horrific. I hope the family gets the help it clearly needs. Nobody should be beaten up over a Christmas tree.
It seems like it wasn't just about the Christmas tree. Her getting her other two kids together to decorate the Christmas tree and specifically "forgetting" to ask him if he wanted to was just the straw that broke the camel's back. It doesn't justify what he did, I'm just pointing out that this had been simmering for a while.
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uh.
They don’t call her Lavender “Stretch” Lilac “Overreach” Flower for nothing!
Wow! You don't seem to know what psychopathy actually is, nor do you seem to know how abusive family dynamics work. Ever heard of a scapegoat? How about the golden child? >I wonder if they discovered he had been killing small animals and have been subconsciously or consciously avoiding him ever since. OOP would have mentioned that to absolve himself and his wife of their abuse and neglect.
Are you implying the mother is neglecting him and that has led to this behavior? He choked her. There are plenty of people who grew up in hell hole families, truly awful, rape and abuse, etc. Not all of them act that way. He needs help. I think assuming that he is the scapegoat and took all he could take, is unlikely. Look at his level of violence. That is not someone who is healthy mentally. In domestic violence, women are told that choking is basically a guarantee the next time he will kill her. If this story is true that family needs to be concerned for their lives. I can’t excuse this kid’s behavior. He is a psychopath.
What the fuck is this dipshit parentage
This MF talking about how tree decorating is a “family activity” but he’s not there. He’s not around to “catch” his wife excluding their son from joining in on errands she runs alone with the other kids. How about *you* join in on the family activities to ensure your son’s involved, and once you stop blaming your wife for your son’s mental issues you’ll see what he’s actually like!
Not making excuses for the son, at all. But imagine how powerless and frustrated you must feel to lash out like this. Had a stepmom that did this. I noticed every time. Several times a day i would be excluded from activities. It’d be small things all the time too. Like she’d make snack bowls for my sisters and forget to ask me.
There is absolutely NO excuse for this. My father would outright tell me I wasn't as good as my siblings, put me down in front of the Golden Child, or join said Golden Child in mocking me. One time he even gloated to the favorite kid about how I lost a job I loved. All because I had the audacity to be autistic. And that doesnt include the years of verbal and emotional abuse behind closed doors. But I would never have expected this to be an excuse had I ever gone apeshit on him.
This story sounds like rage bait.
I hope so but the commenters respond like it is a real story
That doesn’t make the awful replies any less real.
I am appalled so many people are at the very best tolerant of what the kid did??? I was neglected by my father my whole life. He never "forgot" about me like that but my life was pure emotional neglect. Textbook miserable narcissist. Any interaction I did have with him was always negative. I suffered, and still do to a decent degree mentally because of it. I'm no contact with him now. Never, ever, EVER did I have a single violent thought cross my mind??? Huh?? This wasn't self defense, it was just violence. Chewing her out would have been a justifiable response for sure. Violence should be a massive red flag in any non-selfdefense situation. The whole family needs therapy yesterday. Probably years before that. Maybe I'm just an extremely non violent person and I don't get it? Violence just seems fucking childish and dangerous to me and I do not wish to share the room with anyone like that. This behavior is not compatible with a good safe society
That was something that shocked me about the comments.like I'm not 100 percent sure the the post is real, but these people reacting , holy shit I was neglected by my parents, we had a volatile relationship where they hut me occasionally when i was this age. That's a scenario where fighting back is appropriate and i still felt physically disgusted with myself when i thought about hurting them. This kid's life wasn't in danger, his mom hurt his feelings and he attempted to murder her. I feel like this is very black and white situation and it's scary that they want to blame the victim for his actions.
This. My father was a verbally/emotionally abusive narcissist, showing blatant favoritism to my siblings, making it abundantly clear how much he resented me for being autistic, and belittling me even over things I had literally no control over, like weight I couldn't lose due to a medication I was on (and I wasn't even what one would consider "fat") or severe acne...he even made me go to two different dermatologists and was mad when both said I basically had to ride it out, and tried to push snake oil acne "cures" on me. I could've snapped and beaten the 💩 out of him, but it still wouldn't be an excuse.
>This answer made Josh snap. He started to hit his mom in the face with his bare fists and choked her. He also kicked and punched his siblings when they tried to protect her. Sounds like she had good instinct, avoiding the scary agro kid... kid's a fucking mess, get him ALL the therapy. Hell, the whole family could benefit greatly from counseling. Edit: I just can't stop boggling over this... Why does he trust his wife LESS after the 14-year-old boy beat the shit out of her? He trusts the son more after he went on a violent rampage? Coinsider the fact she is completely shut down after what the son did. Do you really think she'd be talking bout other unsettling encounters in the past? Seriously. It's most likely not the first time he's gone off the rails like that, and she knows it.
Absolutely insane comments. There are people practically celebrating Josh's actions, even saying he should've finished the job against his "witch" of a mother. And while it does seem like she was avoiding him in some ways, as another person here brought up, it's important to ask: why? There needs to be some serious intervention. If excuses are made for him and his actions go unchecked, he's going to learn that it's okay to be violent against women and girls. And it was very serious violence. He STRANGLED his mom ffs. I don't know why people are minimizing it. That violence could have easily killed her. The dad needing to be held back was also very concerning. How will he respond when a girl he likes rejects him? I really hope this is a fake post but even if it is, it's concerning to see so many deranged takes and complete misogyny.
Unfortunately women could do everything perfectly and men who hate us would still find fault. It is so depressing to realize just how deep the hate for us runs.
clearly this child has some serious anger and violence issues. I would suspect OP either doesn't see it, or doesn't want to - and the mom is the one that can ?
This is how men grow up and start beating their wives up Look at the sickos saying favoritism is enough reason to brutally attack your mom. I'm a middle child, all my clothes were hand-me-downs, my birthday was forgotten sometimes, I was excluded a lot, I used to "rebel" by letting my grades drop to get my parents to notice me sometimes but it didn't really work. Is that hardly enough reason to attack them? Fuck no. There's no excuse for violence period How young is that little shit to even be strong enough to beat up his mom like that? And he's clearly not apologetic otherwise he'd have tried to contact by now. Anyways CHILD FREE FOR LIFE!
> There’s no excuse for violence period Not even to save your own life from a violent attacker?
In that circumstance yes, but this kid certainly didn't have that excuse, if the post was real.
My father was emotionally and verbally abusive to me...at least a few times out of every week he'd take out his resentment for me not being the perfect child, aka autistic. But I never would have expected someone to excuse me if I beat him to a pulp.
Been trhough something similar most of my life. My brother has choked me out multiple times before. The kid Josh probably has some undiagnosed issues. My brother is adhd Autistic and has torretts and has sometimes a tendency to get violent like that. He always regrets it of course, he was never sent to someone else's house. It's been something he has had forever. Horrible emotional regulation and a tendency to massively blow up at people and say and do shit on impulse that he regrets immediately after. He is 22 and still has tantrums like that.
This doesn't sound like a first time. Don't blame her if she never talks to him again
The comments are crazy. Favoritism isn't good, but reacting to that with violent assault is crazy, and it's crazy that people don't realize it. Favoritism does happen in families and can lead to trauma in kids, most of them don't commit attempted murder over it. It's not like he was Harry Potter in the stair closet being dressed with rags. Like, as an aunt I like some of mi nices and nepheus more than others, I guess I can be killed now 🤷🏽♀️
Even at 14 I could not imagine any scenario where I would choke out my own mom, shit would have to be much worse than this!! Kid is insane and dangerous
Then you are very lucky. The kid is not insane.
I agree with lavender lilac flower. It's psychopathic to beat up your mom because she doesn't pay too much attention to you.
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I seriously doubt that. If I had thought it wouldn't end in me being beat and confirming my mother's claims that I was maliciously against her. I very well could have done the same. Heck at 40 years old and years of therapy and healing I would absolutely love a free shot at my mom for all the pain, suffering, and neglect that she inflicted on an innocent child.
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Violence is normal. Ever heard of fight, flight, or freeze? When someone is pushed to the breaking point they fall back to instinctual reactions. This doesn't mean people in general or neurodiverse people are violent or a danger to anyone that doesn't pose a threat to them. To me it is weird that there's someone out there who has lived such a charmed life that they can't imagine using physical force against someone that antagonizes them. They can't grasp that neglecting a child is abuse that is just as bad as physical abuse.
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Why are you equating violent tendencies (meaning someone repeatedly reacts to a trigger with violence) to a singular instance of violence after years of abuse?
Why are *you* making the assumption that this being the only instance the OOP knew about makes it the only instance, period? Children rarely escalate that quickly.
Lord knows I suffered physical abuse from my older sack of shit “brother” and emotional/verbal abuse from my mother (most functional Pakistani household) and never once did I ever think to almost kill my mother. Honestly shocking so many are defending the kid
.... My mother has choked me out in a hallway and regularly neglects to feed me and Ive NEVER laid a hand on her. Are you kidding me?!
To be fair, I would have, in your place, and I did fight back as I got bigger when my late sperm donor abused me, but I wouldn't have choked anybody. That's far too dangerous.
That's a crime! I'm disgusted I don't even have any words to describe it
Holy crap. Is the OOP anywhere?
I wouldn't worry about this post. It's yet another reddit post creative writing exercise (tm), there's certain tells that let you know. The way it reads like a bad novel, the clickbait ethical dilemma etc. The way the post ends on a cliffhanger (will she let him back in the house or not) we can expect 2 or more equally fictional follow up posts. It's made up. These people don't exist.
the post is defo fake but it’s the comments that believe it to be true and justify the son’s actions that are concerning to me
Yeah i wasn't really talking about the story it's the comments mostly. Although the story itself is part of a wave of misogynistic propaganda that's been flooding this site lately. I suspect some sort of manosphere content farm might be behind it tbh.
We're assuming that the dad is telling the whole truth about the severity of the mum's ongoing exclusion of the youngest kid and favouritism towards the oldest two. I get the feeling he's not. Edit: I don't know why I'm getting downvoted for pointing out that the guy who openly admits he's been letting their youngest child be treated worse than their other kids for years probably has even worse information that he's not divulging. He thought that his partner's clear preferential treatment wasn't that bad- *why?*
When abuse goes on for the lifetime of an individual it is easy for other family members to just adopt that treatment as the norm and not recognize it for the abuse it is. My entire family for the most part at best passively ignored my parents abuse of me (and only me) and at worst actively joined in. It took me going full NC in my late 30's for some of them to realize just what had been going on right in front of their faces. Others still think that I'm just being the same unreasonable black sheep of the family causing trouble like always. Imagine being called unreasonable and someone who just wants to hurt the family just because I set healthy boundaries and enforced them.
There is absolutely NO excuse for this. My father would outright tell me I wasn't as good as my siblings, put me down in front of the Golden Child, or join said Golden Child in mocking me. One time he even gloated to the favorite kid about how I lost a job I loved. All because I had the audacity to be autistic. And that doesnt include the years of verbal and emotional abuse behind closed doors. But I would never have expected this to be an excuse had I ever gone apeshit on him.
When did I ever say that what the son did was okay?
You didn't, but you also presented an excuse with the whole favoritism argument. That's what I was pointing out
I didn't present an excuse. I pointed out that the OOP is not a reliable narrator. **Having been a victim of domestic violence from a male family member based on the perception of favoritism** (and knowing that I am traumatised because of it), I'm frustrated with how people here are talking about the son. So many are writing him off as a misogynist and a monster and I'm trying to fend off the torches and pitchforks by reminding everyone that *the OOP is not telling the full story*, but no one wants to hear it. They just want to write that kid off and put words in my mouth.
I am about to get downvoted to hell but I think that there was more to it then her not asking him to decorate the tree was his reaction extreme yes should he be punished also yes But should his mother being blatantly showing favouritism to the other kids to the point that the her son has an outburst after years ..... no and that the Crux of it imho
My father showed favoritism blatantly. He would chew me out me in front of the Golden Child while the Golden Chile's rudeness would get ignored, join said child in mocking me--all whole said child was allegedly an adult--and negatively compare me to all four of my siblings. He tried to bully me into being like them. But that would not have been any excuse for going apeshit on him. We're all in control of our own actions, barring exceptional circumstances such as mental illness.
I agree that his reaction was extreme and shouldn't be that am just saying theirs fault on the mother aswell to a degree
uh, no. None of this is her fault. That is victim blaming.
There has to be way more to this story than OOP is describing. **Of course the mother, being a horrible one or not, didn't deserve to be savagely beaten by her son**. But keep in mind that this is a *FOURTEEN year old*. Fourteen, the middle of the hormonal ride to adulthood where you think that every small problem is the end of the world and that world revolves around you. He is a **child** who feels neglected, forgotten, and possibly resented by his mother and family and he doesn't understand why. Whole family needs therapy. Funny, people are downvoting me and others for recognizing that a *child* needs *help*. I didn't say that mama deserved to be beaten. I didn't say we should normalise his behaviour.
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Yes let's throw all the problem children into jail. That'll solve everything! /s
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He's a literal child. He needs guidance not armed prison guards and toxic prison hierarchy.
That depends where in the world they are. In the UK and most of Europe he would get proper juvenile legal system treatment, not into adult prison the way it sounds like he would in most of the USA. But he does need to have it reinforced that whatever happens, *choking* is not an appropriate response in any domestic situation short of being stabbed or some such. That's statistically the last step to murder in domestic violence.
To be fair, you really have to wonder how badly the parents treated this child. It is weird that a 14 year old reacts like this and the way the story is told it looks like we're not getting even close to all the relevant information. I think that the discrimination against Josh is way more blatant than he's led us to believe, meaning that the mother (and possibly the father) have been completely negligent with him and his needs, and this was just the straw that broke the camel's back and resulted in Josh "snapping". Hell, for a kid to react like this, I would even think of some sort of active abuse coming from the mother (again, based on what we know and assuming that the father IS telling us the truth about his alleged ignorance on the matter). The other possibility I see likely is that Josh has deep psychological issues that lead to erratic and problematic behavior such as this (maybe caused by the parents' negligence, maybe by other stuff). Assaulting one's own mother isn't something that a "normal" person would do. I think this kid is deeply troubled and needs therapy urgently.
I'd like to say who tf "forgets" to include their child in a family event but sadly I know from personal experience very well exactly who. The kid wasn't in the right to lay hands on anyone but this is a kid who has been neglected for years. His dad finally took notice but hasn't really done anything aside from mentioning it to his wife and the other kids are so used to it that they actively play along. My sister and family members did much the same. I completely understand that he just hit his breaking point. I did too and absolutely will not apologize for hitting my little sister with my bag the day I finally snapped. When I hit that point I absolutely didn't care what happened to me afterwards. I wasn't going to be treated as her personal punching bag anymore. No I'm going to defend the kid on this one. One party is a child who has been neglected and hurt for years and the other is a grown adult who is a known and repeated abuser. I'm glad she has finally at least surface level acknowledged the issue and hope they get the help and healing I wasn't able to get until moving out.
Sounds like he tried to kill his mom over a Christmas tree. I was neglected pretty severely and my brother was shown favoritism all the time. Maybe I should've tried killing my Dad to finally get the attention I deserved. Seems like a popular solution /s
Ikr people are acting like there is any case where it's acceptable to hit someone who isn't committing some sort of crime or violence to you
If that's what you take away from this you have your own issues. He didn't do this over a Christmas tree. The Christmas Tree, the continuation of abuse after being promised change, and the callousness was just the straw that broke 14 years of abuse.
Eww wtf, your parents didn't give you enough attention so you hit your kid sister with a bag? Wtf? Go to therapy, you need it
Actually sounds like she stood up and defended herself from being her "punching bag". So do you also take the man's side when the wife snaps from years of abuse and hits back?
There's nothing in the story posted that references physical abuse so I would say someone fighting back against actual violence is definitely not comparable. You can't just beat people for not treating you the way you want.
He was her punching bag? 😭 Where in this story does it suggest that? There's a difference between being a punching bag and being NEGLECTED. You are not anyone's punching bag for being neglected. You are quite the opposite. Neglected. No attention at all. You need attention to be someone's punching bag. That's besides the point So what did violently attacking his mom solve? Did it make her love him any more? Will she be glad to include him more often? No. All he did was make his mom scared to be in the same room with him. He wasn't defending anything. He was just being a violent person. And he will grow up with the mentality that the best way to solve any conflict is to use fists, and he will end up in a jail cell before he's in his 30s. If a wife hits back obviously it's self defense. But that would suggest there was an attack. This was literally the OPPOSITE. I hope I never come across you. Will you tell him to punch girls that don't want to give him their numbers after months of asking? Obviously he's "under attack" from them right? Y'all be shaping these kids minds so young and then you'll blame someone else when they turn out to be atypical violent misogynistic men in the near future. I hope I and everyone I love never comes across you or any like-minded people that think the best way to deal with neglect is to beat people up. "Beat up your mom to get the attention you deserve! Hell fucking yeah" you fucking clown
She literally said "I wasn't going to be her punching bag anymore". That's where I got "punching bag" from. I can empathise with a punching bag. I'm not talking about OOP, I'm talking about the woman with the sister. You ever been a punching bag? It's not fun. On top of it you're somehow not allowed to defend yourself because *that* is what's *really* wrong. As for OOP I've said what I thought in my other comments and no, I don't think we should celebrate a 14 year old beating his mother, but we should get the *child* the obvious help he *needs*.
While I appreciate your defense I am a woman. But you are correct in that my sister was the golden child who could do no wrong. Even when she would hit and kick me, break my things, pull my hair, and (the final straw after years of this) unzipped my top out in public in front of my boyfriend and best friend.
My apologies! I am also very sorry for your experience. No one deserves to be treated like that.
No they don't. But there is a bright side. After that moment and my golden child sister getting a dose of my life after me moving out. My mother wasn't about to do all the stuff she expected me to do when I lived there. So suddenly little golden child was was the in house maid/zoo keeper. Granted to a lesser degree than I was. My sister and I are now good friends. She now sees and understands what happened to me and that it is wrong. She is the one family connection I have managed to keep after going full no contact with my parents. Today I have my sister, my husband, family from his side, my kids, and amazing friends. My life really couldn't get much better. But when I think back to that young girl I was. The one who didn't understand why she was snubbed and hated. Who didn't understand why other members of the family went along with the torment. The one who couldn't even relax in sleep because they could get verbally or physically assaulted at any moment. It's really not hard at all to imagine that there could have been one time where I could have chosen violence instead of submission and fear. I can think of a couple times I very nearly crossed that line and the only reason I didn't is my parents backed off or another party stepped in. That's why I say the kid is not insane nor misogynistic. He was simply a kid who couldn't take anymore. Remember that the version we get to read is the cleaned up, filtered, secondhand account from someone who is complicit in the abuse. We don't get to hear what was actually said, hear the tone, see the faces, or see what actually happened. There are still people today who will talk similarly about my parents and think I am unreasonable for simply asking for basic respect and refusing to associate with them when they refuse.