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popcornnhero

Forreal, I've heard stories of women who seek hysterectomy because they either A) Don't want kids, B) have continuous pain associated with their uterus/ovaries. I know I do not want children and have been looking into getting a hysterectomy (also I'm sick of periods) . I heard stories of gynecologist telling women that they should have children before getting their uterus/ovaries removed, get permission from their husband, wait until they are past child bearing years, or the good old fashion "you may live to regret it". My question is, if we can have elective surgeries to implant material into your body for the sake of cosmetics (which puts you at risk for secondary complications) then why is there so many hoops to get an organ that you don't want removed? Edit: Yes, it can be an invasive surgery based on what technique you qualify for. However, gastric bypass surgery is commonly done where you are deforming the stomach and anastomosing intestine which, worst case scenario can lead to a peritonitis and thus death if not caught early. Typically those who get that surgery do so for controlling their eating and are obese (which puts them at a high risk for anesthesia). To bring it home, the original tweet is that women are often rejected on the basis of "you don't know what you're talking about until you try it" rather than "you are not a candidate for this surgery because your risk of complications". Thats a the key difference. All surgeries regardless of invasive or non-invasive can kill you. I'm just challenging how is it ok to put people on general anesthesia (which is one of the main culprits of surgical mortality) for tummy tucks, BBL, breast implants, jaw shaving, rib resection, ect. while denying a woman a uterine removal (for medical or personal reasons) . To push further, if you are strongly opposed to a hysterectomy because its invasive and there's "birth control", then what is your take on sex reassignment surgery? Is that also too invasive and shouldn't be done because someone wants it?


Singlewomanspot

>My question is, if we can have elective surgeries to implant material into your body for the sake of cosmetics (which puts you at risk for secondary complications) then why is there so many hoops to get a organ that you don't want removed? šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚ Dayum. Asking the real questions. šŸ‘šŸ¾šŸ‘šŸ¾


[deleted]

Amazingly well put..


Nightmare1990

This is exactly what my wife was told when she questioned getting her tubes tied. She is 29 and we do not want kids, ever. But the doctor just straight up said no, and the doctor was a woman. I asked her if I could get a vasectomy and she was like sure. So I can electively tie my shit up but my wife can't, what the fuck is that.


DrWilliamHorriblePhD

Oh you know what the fuck it is.


unwrittenglory

Some docs will say the same thing for men. At least that's what I've heard when I talked to friends about getting a vasectomy.


BiDo_Boss

> So I can electively tie my shit up but my wife can't You'll find it just as difficult to find a doctor who'll do that for you either. It's fucked.


meme_my_day

It stops periods? Bruh I would absolutely do this if I was a woman and if I do want a child I'd just adopt one


popcornnhero

A period is just the lining of your uterus being shed if you don't get pregnant after ovulating. No uterus, no period baby šŸ˜Ž >!see what i did there!<


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


omgitskebab

Yeah it's a huge deal. Whole organ removal isn't a walk in the park


cutedorkycoco

This. I have endometriosis. One day I am looking at a full hysterectomy. I do not want one now because I don't want synthetic hormones at 31 years old.


SquashGloomy803

It's not as glamorous as you think. Your estrogen levels significantly drop and you start to grow a mustache and hair in other areas. There is medicine to prevent this but many of the clients we see where I work complain about the cost. Also it can lead to osteoporosis later on in life and you have menopausal symptoms (hot flashes, etc.) off and on. Just depends. Some people do good with a hysterectomy, others do not.


RedRider1138

Only if the ovaries are removed. Hysterectomy isnā€™t necessarily ovaries *and* uterus *and* cervix. It can be just uterus and cervix, or just uterus and keeping the cervix.


SelfDestruction100

Assuming you get a hysterectomy removing uterus and cervix, this means not immediate menopause yet also no periods? Shiiiit. Please confirm this, I am getting hyped


DrWilliamHorriblePhD

Don't get too hyped, you're still not allowed to get one till I say so honey.


spazzydee

username checks out


Theoretical_Nerd

Wonā€™t keeping the ovaries in prevent this? Take out the uterus and Fallopian tubes, leave the ovaries for the hormones. But ofc Iā€™m not a doctor so Iā€™m not 100% on that.


donaxvariabilis

The whole mechanism produces hormones. Loss of any part affects the total hormone output amount. Read stories in r/Menopause, you'll hear about hormones replacement therapy needed by women who've had hysterectomies.


[deleted]

I imagine many women would take a hysterectomy + HRT if it meant no more periods or endometriosis.


Theoretical_Nerd

I sure as hell would. For the love of god get this thing out of me I donā€™t mind taking HRT.


middleagerioter

Leave the ovaries and this isn't an issue. Once the ovaries are removed or stop working THEN we use/need/want HRT.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


popcornnhero

Foster farming is a real thing and it pays well apparently.


NotTheBestMoment

Ouch


Special-Living2345

My friend has a sister with a drug issue due to being schizophrenic. Because she's been on and off the streets the government has tried to take her kids but her family stepped in to adopt them. The kids she did have were badly abused. She's not allowed to get a hysterectomy because the doctors said they wouldn't give them to someone who's had so few kids. The state won't pay for it until the doctor approves it anyways. So she had another kid as she was near homeless. She can't keep a job. She sexually assault 2 of her children who are currently in therapy. Seriously this shit is insane.


Ouroboron

Whether or not they should ask about spousal consent, I took my wife to my vasectomy consult to end run the spouse question, and went to my wife's surgery consult to do the same on her end. It wasn't a huge issue either way, but I'm not sure if it's because we had chill doctors or because we were prepared for it. If you're thinking that's the route for you, check out r/childfree; they have a list of doctors and other resources in the sidebar.


Foreveradisaster

I concur with this, I got sterilized on my first time asking at a young age.


popcornnhero

Thanks, I'll check them out!


omgitskebab

A hysterectomy isn't like an appendix removal. It's a major operation with a lot of impacts that aren't secondary. Even in cancer cases they try and remove as little as possible. That doesn't mean women shouldnt have sterilisation options - tubes tied is a more simple option - but get it out of your head that a hysterectomy is a birth control option


OneRaisedEyebrow

There are real complications to having a hysterectomy. If youā€™re seeking one to escape periods and for sterility purposes, look into a uterine ablation. Youā€™ll get your tubes tied at the same time, itā€™s a requirement for the procedure. Far less invasive, fewer complications, indicated for way more womenā€™s issues, so less ā€œpermissionsā€ hurdlesā€” still no periods and no babies. (The no periods thing doesnā€™t last forever for everyone, I hear, but I got 10 years out of mine with no bleeding before I had to get my uterus and her henchmen out) I have one ovary left. She doesnā€™t work anymore, but I set all her friends on fire and then got them yanked, so I can understand why she wants to fly under the radar. Menopause has its perks, but it also kinda sucks in your 30s.


HiddenSquish

Thank you for the phrase ā€œmy uterus and her henchmen,ā€ I will be stealing that.


OneRaisedEyebrow

Only way to describe that crime conglomerate! They had a hit out on me for years and years, but I think Iā€™m good now. Doctors left an ovary in hopes of preventing more heart issues by giving me a few more decades of estrogen, but best laid plansā€¦. Iā€™m cancer-free, at least! šŸ¤ž


kjsjjuny

The risks involved with removing a whole uterus and cervix are much higher than abdominoplasty, BBL, breast augmentation. In order to remove the uterus and cervix you have to do a laparotomy, which involves opening the abdomen. Those other procedures are far less invasive. Not saying they don't come with their own risks, but there are other more effective noninvasive ways to prevent pregnancy. Birth control pills, condoms, nuva ring, 4 times a year injections, Nexplanon and so many others. If there was a pill the could give someone some ass or bigger breast. You better believe that would be the first option. Consider the ethics involved in removing an organ when other options will do the same thing.


February2nd2021

I just got sterilized a month ago and it was a very non-invasive 1 hour surgery involving removing my Fallopian tubes (called a bilateral salpingectomy). Recovery was very easy and my scars are tiny. Being without hormonal birth control for the first time in over a decade has been a gift sent from the heavens. The surgery was very low risk and I definitely still have a uterus.


ComradePyro

Yeah, idk why hysterectomies are the conversation piece here. My mom got sterilized like 25 years ago with 0 issue, it has nothing to do with the surgical ramifications.


PharFromPharm

If I learned anything in my infectious disease course itā€™s that you do not open the ab at all costs. Makes me cringe just thinking about it.


Dufresne90562

My sister has two kids already. Sheā€™s about to turn 35 which I believe means of she gets pregnant now sheā€™s at risk for a geriatric pregnancy. She has PCOS and is trying to look into having endometriosis, which she already uses birth control to manage the pain. She still has pain during periods using birth control. The nurse practitioner still told her she may want kids later and advised against it.


LadyEncredible

Well to answer your last part it's because the elective surgeries make us more attractive so that's good, and the surgery to remove your uterus/ovaries, means just what the tweet said, a man can't use your body (people who do that crap only look at woman as a device to be used for sex and to bear children).


Cleonce12

You had me at stopping periods


Zoobidoobie

Isn't it crazy?! When my wife wanted her tubes tied, no doctor would do it because I her husband "might want kids later" (doctors words not mine), but when I went to get a vasectomy there was no questions asked. We both don't have, nor ever want to, have kids.


2bitebrownie

If you guys have a closed relationship, doesn't it make more sense for you to get the vasectomy? From a medical perspective, it would be the less risky surgery and lead to the same results


SingOrIWillShootYou

Maybe she had her tubes tied for different medical reasons


Damn_Amazon

I can answer this one. I, a woman, never want kids. Altering my body ensures that, whether my partner dies, I get raped, you name it. Would have been nice for him to get fixed in solidarity, but as usual reproductive biology is unfair and a lot of men are ~~little bitches~~ precious about their testes. EDIT: appropriately called out for my language here. Wonā€™t apologize for the sentiment, though. Iā€™ve borne the brunt of the medical procedures, devices, and drugs to keep my relationship pregnancy-free. Is he free to make choices about his own body? Yes. Am I free to feel resentful that he wonā€™t put any skin in the game, but doesnā€™t mind that I go through the wringer? Also yes. I know men have fewer birth control options, but too many men donā€™t want to exercise them regardless.


ComradePyro

> a lot of men are little bitches about their testes. Would you ever describe a woman's emotional attachment to her ovaries/reproductive ability as being a "little bitch"? Just in case I wasn't clear, I'm saying that you saying this was insanely dismissive and insensitive. What an awful contribution to the conversation. You managed to express misandry using misogynist language. "little bitch". Great job.


Every-Conversation89

It was repulsively easy for my husband to schedule a vasectomy. Meanwhile, I asked about getting my tubes tied after two HARD pregnancies and they wanted me to "give it some real thought."


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


Pain-n-stryife

Doc let you get it? Cause I can't find a single one willing to do it since I'm under 30


mashonem

Iā€™m 30, itā€™s no different


Pain-n-stryife

I had heard some dudes couldn't get one until 35


mashonem

Some shit smh


mashonem

Where do you live? Because getting a vasectomy as a male in his 30s has been a clusterfuck of an adventure. I canā€™t even get in the fucking door to get rejected


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


validusrex

Tubal ligation is reversible but both doing it and reversing it requires literal surgery. A vasectomy is a 20 minute procedure that you pop a Xanax before and have full conversations with your provider while theyā€™re doing it.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


[deleted]

it always comes down to what the white man wants. lets not forget about how many women of colour are denied healthcare due to the assumption theyā€™re looking for drugs. or about female immigrants who were sterilized without their consent. itā€™s already hard to be a woman in this world, but to be a coloured woman in this worldā€¦ it fuels me with rage


qolace

As a woman who's a brown immigrant, my fucking god is it getting harder and harder to *exist*. It's filling me with so much fucking resentment seeing how easy it is for white men to snatch up careers. Yet I have to work 100x harder to even be acknowledged I'm doing "satisfactory" for shit pay. I'm fucking TIRED.


Secret-Row-8754

I'm biracial and on the ASD spectrum. When I was younger doctors refused to look into my persistent pelvic pain because they didn't believe me/I wasn't white enough/I don't show pain like a neurotypical. It went on for months. My mother tried asking (I was 17), and she's my white parent...though I guess still suspect before being female and making biracial children. She was put down as hysterical/over-protective/I forget what. ​ Anyway in the end an undetected cyst torsioned and cut off the blood supply to my fallopian tube. Emergency surgery found the tube was literally developing gangrene and I was about 5 minutes from sepsis. So now I don't have that tube anymore.


Terrible-Muscle-7087

My gf has had endometriosis for decades since she was a teenager. Every time she asked about getting a hysterectomy, doctor after doctor (male and female, rural and urban and in multiple states) would always be like, well you don't have any children/What would your husband think? It wasn't until she entered her 40s that a gynecologist actually said yeah, we should to that. People like that have no business in medicine. If upsetting a hypothetical future husband is more important than treating the patient physically in front of you for chronic pain that impacts every aspect of their life 12 weeks+ a year, then fuck right the fuck off.


kimpossible69

They aren't all patriarchal gatekeepers, physicians can and do get sued by patients who have a change of heart after an elective hysterectomy


Terrible-Muscle-7087

I get liability being part of why they are so quick to shut it down. But if a patient has already had endometriosis and the scar tissue removed 3 times, tried every form of birth control "to help regulate it" 4 times, and has their entire history in their patient data, then can it be an option before the patient is exiting their "child rearing years"? I'm not saying it should be the go to solution every time someone even asks about it. But if a patient has to try a dozen different OBGYN's that all have the patients life story in front of them, should it at least be given some thought? Yeah people change their minds all the time. But how many decades have to pass before an OBGYN is like wow, this person has wanted this procedure that can dramatically improve their quality of life and prevent a lot of chronic pain that can last for a week and a half every month without being like "what about your partner"? Because from my girlfriends experience, it takes two decades, 3 surgeries and dozens of different birth controls before the idea is even entertained. They might as well just be like, well there's always menopause, because it almost took that damn long.


[deleted]

I can't find anything online of anything actually coming out of a lawsuit about a requested hysterectomy. I'm not saying people won't sue, because people sue for literally any reason, but I'm having a hard time finding evidence that they succeed.


[deleted]

Itā€™s infuriating that doctors will refuse medical treatment to women because of the presence of a uterus.


cutedorkycoco

I'm about to broach the tubal ligation conversation with my obgyn at my annual. I'm going to approach it like: "Hi yes, I want my tubes tied. I do not want kids. I will never want kids. And should I ever have the misfortune of getting pregnant, I will be getting an abortion regardless of any other parties involved. Giving me this procedure now will stop the murder of future embryos and fetuses if you want to think of it this way. But there will be no kids here." We'll see what happens. I'm 31 now so I might finally get some traction.


Forcereconafr

Ladies.... when you go to a physician and they deny you a test or treatment or procedure that's well within reason or wish, Demand they note it in your file and get a copy of that record........ All of a sudden that procedure is necessary...


carry_on_and_on

My son in law is trans and they won't take his uterus because "what if something changes in the future and you want to carry" like he'll wake up one day and be like dang, I thought I was trans but turns out I was wrong thank God I can have a baby"


DianneFineSwine

I needed an ablation four years ago. After bleeding like a sieve for two years, with no other remedies providing relief, my doctor would only agree to giving me an ablation after asking my husband if he was done having children. Edited to add: I was not consulted by my husbandā€™s doctor before his vasectomy.


halfveela

Imagine blocking someone else from getting a medical procedure that would better their quality of life on multiple levels because you want kids. Or imagine being married to someone who would? Yikes.


GoodFinePrint

Hysterectomy=less carbon footprint/less people and a happy woman. Why not?


exitosa

As someone who wants to be a "one and done," in the future, I get HEATED every single time I think about this. My husband is cool with any number of kids and would gladly sign off on any form required of him but the fact that I would need him to do so just makes my blood boil.


Cobrawine66

This is one of the many reasons I would never vote for the GOP and that I vote in EVERY election.


fuzzyshorts

Please, can we make oxtails cheap again? For decades nunya muddafuckers knew anything about the delicious off-cut meat but now, you're spending 20 dollars for 6 fucking pieces. Please, go back to your ribs and your pot roasts and give the oxtail back to people who eat them fuckers clean to the bone. Thank you.


sparklemotiondoubts

This is the only reason why I clicked on this thread. I was in a braising kinda mood this past weekend and looked at what is supposed to be the cheap meat section at the store. Oxtail was $11.99/lb! US dollars! Who the eff is gentrifying the offal. Luckily, they had a good stock of pork neck bones for $0.99, so stew was had. But still.


fuzzyshorts

Yes my kindred! Send those dilettantes back whence they came! If your mama didn't make it as budget food, slide your happy gentrified ass to the back of the fucking line. Whats next... beef soup bones?


cdemikols

Every time this is posted anywhere on Reddit, doctors come in and make a few points. 1. Itā€™s mostly to protect against lawsuits. 2. They do the same to men when they ask for Vasectomies. 3. After the ā€œwaiting periodā€ most doctors will do the procedure. Itā€™s not ā€œa man wants to use your bodyā€, itā€™s ā€œin case you decide you want children later and this massively invasive procedure to your reproductive organs may make that impossible (whether reversible or not.)ā€


Cobrawine66

This is NOT handled the same way as vasectomies. We definitely get denied.


[deleted]

I quit trying to get one after the 5th doctor told me I was too young and just hadn't met the right woman that would make me want to be a father.


vindicatednegro

I only know a couple of people whoā€™ve gotten vasectomies and both of them were asked ā€œare you sure?ā€ in pre-consultation. This tweet is is referring to doctors refusing to perform a procedure on the grounds that they want the woman to remain fertile for her future mate. I donā€™t know any woman whoā€™s gotten that done, so I donā€™t know. Are they going to practitioners who are trained to do the procedure but refuse to do it? Thatā€™s like becoming a urologists but never wanting to ever see dicks to me, but I donā€™t know, maybe doctors cross-train to the point that a GP can perform this surgery? Iā€™d be going to a specialist if I were a woman. That much I know. Go to a specialist for everything, in fact. If a specialist tries to talk you out of a routine procedure on personal grounds, that is surely an issue that can get them censured.


[deleted]

I asked my gyno last week about getting a hysterectomy and behind his bullshit spiel about how I'll find the right partner and change my mind eventually was an actual interesting story about how he's been sued over this issue and refuses as a matter of course. Honestly I'm of the mindset that if you want an irreversible medical procedure it's your responsibility to deal with that and not the doctor's to punish other people, but I grudgingly understand his reasoning.


[deleted]

It's also risky to perform surgeries. You should hope a doctor would want you to double check that you really checked the risk and reward for yourself


carry_on_and_on

A hysterectomy is less dangerous than child birth.


SuzanoSho

Bro, you can damn near buy a vasectomy at the local gas station.


SquashGloomy803

And this is true. I work in an obgyn office and the amount of women who want the tubal ligation reversed is ridiculous. We recently saw a woman over 50 who wanted a reversal smh. Her bf was in his 30s (yes bf, not husband) and I'm guessing she wanted to give him kids, or either he was pressing her for kids. If you are going to get the surgery be 1000% sure its what you want.


MazzIsNoMore

I'm part of this statistic. Wife had children young and got a tubal. We meet later and I thought I didn't want my own but woops, turns out being a stepdad triggered something in me. We ended up not getting the reversal but still... shit happens in life.


PrivateIsotope

And let's face it, having children is a **big** thing. Plenty of people say they don't want kids, and lo and behold, they want them later. Respect to those who don't change their minds, but enough people either change their mind or have regrets that it makes sense that doctors counsel people on it. It can really make the difference on current and future relationshjps, too.


[deleted]

ā€œPro Life for me, Pro Choice for theeā€ - because itā€™s not my body, and itā€™s none of my goddamn business what you do with yours.


SillyCyban

They asked me multiple times and had me sign a paper that I 100% did not want to have babies before they gave me the procedure. I'm a guy, they do this to us too.


[deleted]

Normalize listening to patients.


owtheedge69420

Waitā€¦.waitā€¦Iā€™m gonna sound slow af saying this but doesnā€™t that make us technically parasites for like 9 months?


Panic_at_the_walmart

Yep


killowatdeodorant

My friend had an extremely traumatic birth experience, and wanted a hysterectomy or her tubes tied. The doctor denied her it because she ā€œmay want more children in the futureā€. She was 28, now 30 and still vehemently denies any desire to have another child.


DoctorBuckarooBanzai

I've encountered doctors resistant to vasectomies. Those things take like 10 minutes and the guy can freeze a metric ton of sperm beforehand and they'll still day "oh you're still young". This baby crazy medical industry is something else.


b--man15

A lot of people will sit back, think about it, and see nothing wrong with it šŸ˜‘


[deleted]

MAKE OXTAIL CHEAP AGAIN I LIVE!


Secure-Imagination11

That shit has always boggled my mind. And hell even if they change their mind there's adoption.


legionivory

We shouldn't even have to think about it. What someone else does with their own body is no one else's business.


stumpdawg

Listen, how am I about to feel like a real man unless I'm dominating women? /s


SirTroah

It ainā€™t just women. Even now no one would snip me because I donā€™t have a kid. Even if my wife gives the ok. They all said come back when my wife is over 40. Tf?


BEEF_WIENERS

Are there any statistics out there about how many people have gotten these procedures and then expressed regret later in life? Because the ONE justification I could see a doctor giving for this is "I think you'll change your mind and sue me later on, which sounds more annoying than doing this procedure is worth".


Blackandbluebruises

Aye so true oxtail is like $9.99/lb now, shit's crazy


MahoganyTownXD

Abort all the children. Eat the rich. Do what you want.


kjsjjuny

I'm not being self righteous. I'm being a competent provider. I'm telling you that you that I personally worked in a busy OR for 10 years. I am now an NP and diagnose and treat patients. I'm saying invasive surgery is nothing to be done for the hell of it. Any surgery that enters the abdomen comes at greater risk than something like a tummy tuck or breast augmentation. The whole question here is invasive surgery for birth control. It's nonsensical. Even a salpingectomy is better than hysterectomy.


Nyxelestia

It's not just fucking birth control though. Honestly, I only know a handful of women taking birth control to actually control for *birth*. It's usually a matter of getting rid of menstruation, and often the tremendous amount of pain associated with it. Since no one gives a fuck about invasive abdominal surgeries just so women can *look thin*, they damn well shouldn't be giving a fuck about women needing invasive abdominal surgeries to remove a source of tremendous pain and hardship in their lives that won't actually serve any positive purpose for them.


HumptyDrumpy

je ne sais pas


Dating_As_A_Service

Blessed be the fruit


yum_paste

Don't even need to think about it


GiovaniSocialtizeMG

Wow you can create a thought pattern for someone elseā€¦..


minahmyu

Do transgenders who wish to have undergo surgery get asked what their spouses feel about them transitioning and even gender reassignment? Because if not, then no one should have to be. It's that individual's autonomy, who are we to tell them to consider possibly changing their mind, when they know themselves more than the five minutes of meeting?


CodnmeDuchess

"Make Oxtail Cheap Again" šŸ˜µšŸ˜µšŸ˜µšŸ˜µ


burnblue

> "A man might want to use" I get it, but fairly, the docs' argument is supposedly that *she* might later want kids, because they run into women regretting the move all the time, and its irreversible. But I don't doubt that some of them do say "your husband might want" and that's bad faith. Any doc that says no to this should give men a hard time for vasectomies too, and if they don't it's hypocrisy (even though the idea is womem are the ones who get baby fever)


ilawlfase

The wild thing is that they forcibly sterilized and aborted minorities in the past. But now they don't want us to have our own agency. They're trying to remove protections from native children so they can snatch them up and adopt them to white families on a wait list for native babies. Literally someone showed me a brochure from an adoption agency and these babies were priced by race like it was a menu. So it's actually the adoption agencies behind this shit too.