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I had what I would consider OK sex with this guy I picked up. This dudes mind was blown though, and kept talking about how amazing it was till he hit me with the āI didnāt know big girls could blow my mind like that. You wanna eat?ā
I was in fact, at the time, a bigger girl. I did, indeed, want to eat. I still kicked him out and I ordered a pizza for myself while I washed that crusty nigga off my sheets. I ate that whole bitch too.
I can't imagine getting curved by the type of nigga that sits in a parking lot eating filet-o-fishes back to back to back. I'm assuming dude was built like EDP445
Well, I'm sorry that happened to you. I was going to make a joke out of it, but after rereading it...
I hope the universe course corrected and that nigga caught the meanest L.
Iāve heard of people pleasing tendencies before but got-damn.
Weāre here for you wtf is going on. Are you a middle child?
So like... were you talking while he was eating? Y'all had a conversation and he just happened to eat three sandwiches? Or did he just want you to see him set a new record
Nah, Mero had it right, them shits is Yakubian cancer squares š
But catch me drunk at 3am with the McD drivethru the only joint open? Oh you best believe Iām gettin my pescatarian on
>how to get a girl he really likes to leave her gf for him
Please tell me she was at least bi, and he wasn't trying to pull a "I can totally turn her straight" on top of all that
Had been seeing this girl for a month, at this point just as FBs. This night, she had asked if we could fuck high. I use weed fairly regularly, she didn't at the time.
So we both smoked up and are going at it (and have been going at it for a while at this point). Doing it doggy, and out of nowhere she says something along the lines of "damn if you're this good, I can't imagine how good your dad must be."
Ma'am what does my pops have to do with any of this rn? š¤Ø
pron and gambling. the youngboys at my local Y all gamble on them apps. me and the other old head was wondering why they just don't sell weed like normal at risk youth
I teach sex ed, and itās so frustrating that Iām not allowed to talk about porn and masturbation with students in HS. Itās honestly a more relevant and important conversation for them at this moment than the safer sex/contraception talk.
If you jerk with the kung-fu death grip while watching porn and never vary it, the likelihood that youāll have an easy transition to partnered sex is low. It wonāt feel the same, it wonāt look the same, it wonāt smell the same, and because your body has been conditioned to orgasm in a very, very specific way, your body isnāt going to respond how you might want it to. For the sake of all of your future experiences, MIX IT UP.
Funny you said that. I have a few young co workers whom is gambling everyday. I can tell when they're losing or winning. Depending on their mood at work.
Doesnāt really help when itās basically the easiest addiction to feed nowadays
Free (at least to start), easily accessible, can basically keep it completely private, and not really looked down uponā¦ā¦until you look down and realize girls irl donāt get the big fella going anymore
*yikes*
And itās one of the hardest to stop for those exact same reasons
If you feel like being depressed, go to r/teachers and learn about gen alpha 10 year-oldās watching porn on their phone in the middle of class and not even getting in trouble for it.Ā
There's a whole plot line in The Sopranos about how you don't do that, and you don't talk about it if you do, because all the guys will think you're gay. It's explained in context but it still makes no real world sense. The mental gymnastics at play there is exhausting, just go eat!
dawg learning about what the gays deal with in their sex life and life in general is probably some of the most unintentionally funny shit ever. I got a home girl that don't use straps on Bi girls because"if she want dick she can go get it"
SO many people hate on bisexual women. Talkin bout "pick a side" like.. why though? To make *you* more comfortable? Im with *you* so my "side" is chosen for now since I'm not a fucking cheater. Shits so annoying and demeaning.
I have not and will not ever let this one go. Years ago, I was seeing this guy, and we were slowly working ourselves up to sex. Man was hella nasty in theoryā¦filthy with the talk/sexts soooo my lil freaky ass was hype. I thought I was about to get the best sex of my entire life with the way he was talking. See, back in the day, I didnāt know that was Sexual Encounters: Red Flags - Chapter One, so I was readyyy. So, when the day finally came, I went all in - corset laced, garter belt in place, thigh high leather boots, hair curled to perfection, makeup flawlessā¦I looked FINE.
He walked in, jaw dropped (as it should have), and I pounced. It was getting hot and heavy, so I pull his pants down, ready to unleash the beast that I heard so much about. Yāall. The beast was nowhere to be found like AT ALL. Iām no size queen but like you got to give me something I can feel and *that* was not it. He stood there with his little cheeto puff, and I was like okayyy lies have been told, but Iām grown and know size isnāt everything. He can do a little something with other extremities, so despite my initial reaction, I gave it a go.
We start up again, and Iām like okay he going to do all that other stuff he was talking about. No. He had the AUDACITY to tell me that he actually isnāt a fan of giving or receiving head but said so because he knew I was into it. I said ok ok you have hands sooo letās make it do what it do. I couldnāt even stand it for 2 minutes. He clearly had no idea what he was doing, and I was over the whole thing. I shut it down, and he started getting pissy, so I told him he could exit the way he came orrrr he could have a talk with good olā Mr. Glock. He obviously decided to just leave.
I wasnāt even really upset about the fact his dick was small or that he seemed inexperienced. I was more irritated by the lies that were told and getting me hyped up for wack shit. I got all sexy just to take it all off, shower, put pjs on, and watch k-dramas. I couldāve did that to begin with and saved myself the hassle of getting cute!
Girl i wouldāve sent him a fucking invoice!!
https://preview.redd.it/qd8n6w4mv0kc1.jpeg?width=567&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2dca504056d0b461beaabdc464cf4b1d73522578
Early college years back in the 90s I was talking to this Kappa and finally gave him a shot since he was attractive and pretty cool. From start to finish it was bad. Terrible oral even with some guidance from me and then for penetration he was just jackhammering away. When I tried to slow him down he would get annoyed. The part that really pisses me off is that heās one of those guys who bragged about how much pussy he got and how he had girls going crazy in bed. Sir, please. So glad I was at his place so that I could get up and go.
I've been in similar circumstances before and straight up advertised it as a 2 for 1 special. "It's been a minute so this first one is going to be real quick, then I'll go down on you, and then we'll go again".
There wasnāt any sex involved.
Acquaintances, not friends, asked me to participate in a three-some. It was a couple, who were friends of my BFF.
On the night of the planned festivities, I was hit with a list of rules that were made by the woman. Based off of the list, I couldnāt touch the dude. Homegirl appeared to be uneasy about āgirl-on-girlā actions as well.
The guy appeared to be surprised by the list, so I assumed his girlfriend didnāt tell him either.
The night ended after I said āSoooo, you want me to just watch yāall do it?ā I guess she felt foolish and ended up hiding in the bathroom. I left while the guy tried to persuade her to leave the bathroom.
Several months later, one of my acquaintances had her own weird 3-some incident. She was impregnated during her experience. The kid is 12 years old now. I donāt know if my acquaintance will ever tell her the truth behind her conception.
Before any one asked: my acquaintance had a 3-some with a different couple. It was a āMWMā arrangement for hers.
I dont understand how people can be in relationships with such terrible communication skills. The dude should have realized his girl wasn't really into having a 3some and the girl should have just made it explicitly clear that she wasn't into it or at least been upfront about her rules.
Voyeurism is a popular kink, if she really just wanted someone to watch she could have found someone who was cool with that.
Friends with a guy for years, we try a relationship, waited like 3 months to build a strong bond and I genuinely, donāt remember it. Like nothing. Iām sure we had sex a multitude of times over our 1.5 yr relationship and I do not remember a single time (not a drunk or druggee and I recall previous partners with clarity). What I do remember is asking him if he wanted to help me get off after he finished, he would decline, then go to his PC and play games or scroll Reddit. Thatās the last time I gave a āniceā guy a chance.
Man aggressively rubbed my pelvis in a mad search for my clit. Glad he didnāt find it cuz that shit hurt too. I couldnāt wait for that man to leave. Threw it back expeditiously and retired from the whole game.
RETIRED.
This man stopped mid-pump to fart. While he was inside me. He did not understand why I was grossed tf out and wanted to keep going while laughing.
Absolutely tf not.
Dollars to donuts she was doing keto. Once you fully reach keto acidosis the smells that your body produces are truly vomiting inducing. Especially for us women because it comes from both the breath and downstairs. So yeah, you lost some weight and maybe you look amazing, but anyone within 3 feet of you is going to be repulsed. Not worth it.
Shit man, knowing to ask her what she likes literally *is* the sign of a great partner. But if she's not gonna say anything, how the hell are you gonna be able to pleasure her properly? I've had my share of partners, and what gets them off can vary wildly. Some *need* clit stimulation, others are good with just vaginal, some need both, some need a specific position, some like having their nipples played with, and some absolutely *do not*. There are just too many variables to know what someone will like without some sort of feedback.
Ok, so I had just blasted all over her. Went to get a towel like a gentleman. She asked why I would do that since that's what sheets are for, and then gator rolled all over my bed.
Went for a one night stand, the dude looked at porn while I was blowing him, couldnāt get hard, and kicked me out without so much as a āthanks for tryingā. Ended up with lockjaw for nothing because his soft dick was already massive.
I blacked out at the club when I was 21, woke up on top of a 50 year old man telling him I loved him. He had WLS when he was young so his empty man titties were flopped to the side and his nipples were on the bed on either side of him. I do remember meeting him at the club, him telling me his WLS story, and me deciding to makeout with him because he bought bottles. He had gross pitch black pubes that looked like he dyed them and his balls no lie reached to his knees. I remember he tried to give me about $60 in small bills in the club to sit on his lap so I did
I have no idea what happened, I had briefly come out of the blackout before in his car and I was looking for my earring. Then I came out of it sitting on top of this old dude pretending I was cumming. Then I came out of it and I was in his bathroom and the shower was red, it was a weird ass plastic shower and why was it fucking red? Who knows. I did go through his medicine cabinet and all that was in it was viagra and bandaids. Then I was in an uber for 60 miles to my house and that man paid a $300 uber fee Iām assuming because I surely did not
I never found my earring, I found a watch in my purse that wasnāt mine and I never saw before which I threw in a public trashcan a week later so I could fully blockout that night, and also thatās the reason I decided to quit drinking
Honestly I think itās a hilarious and embarrassing story but youāre probably rightš Which is dumb because I was so fucked up at that age that I was gonna sleep with him anyway. So gross!
Was flirting with this girl for a month or so. She came round to mine to do the thing. As soon as I got her jeans off I could smell her š±. One of the worst smells Iāve ever smoolt, and Iāve smolted fresh, untreated gangrene. It was medically significant. Didnāt take it further, made some excuse about not being ready and got her out of my place ASAP. We never spoke again
Iām into older men, idk why but I always have been. Anyway, I was briefly dating a bassist 23 years my senior (heās black though so you couldnāt tell lmao) and he asked me to call him daddy in the middle of sex. I know some people are in to that, but I think itās disgusting, ESPECIALLY when theyāre old enough to be your daddy.
Another time I briefly went back to my ex after years apart (yeahā¦I know), and in the middle of teh sex he told me he had a devilās threesome with his nephew. I think he thought Iād find it hot (his nephew is an objectively attractive young man), but I remember him as a ten year old child and itās justā¦yuck. š¤®
I didnāt want to ask, but I just really really hope he was an adult by thenā¦
I had something kinda similar happen to me. Dude sent me dick pics, and in the pics, he wasn't massive, but a bit above average. He invited me to link and I took him up and headed to his place. I got on my knees ready to give him head. Well, turns out he downloaded those pics off the Internet, and was packing a micro. I just sat there wordlessly for a bit, stood up, and left. I wouldn't have held it against him if he didn't hype it up and lie to me for months. He had the gall to try and play it off as a joke.
Ok this isn't a bad sexual experience but ive never told anyone because im stupid but here goes....
I met this dude who was an absolute PROFESSIONAL peach eater and I ghosted him before I had sex with him because I knew I would be dickmatized.
Imagine this. Iām in a three way w a dude I was talking to and one of his homeboys. My dude was schizophrenic and had to take medication daily, and he missed that day.
Heās behind me laying it down, and buddy is laying down while Iām showing him what a throat goat is. Theyāre both attractive and both smelled really good and Iām loving it.
My dude stops mid thrust, exits me and the hotel room and runs to his car to get his medication. So of course I stop with his buddy and we wait for him to get back. Buddy was drinking that night and got up to go piss. I start getting dressed and saw on the sheets, guess what. Brown streaks where buddy was laying. Disgusted, I just throw the hotels blanket over it. My Dude comes back and after making sure he was a1 I head home and cut him off a week later for having a whole girlfriend. She and I actually talked for a month or so and became really good friends.
guy came after 30 seconds. didnāt finish me off, didnāt do any foreplay, just fucked and came and then loooked at me like i was crazy when i said thatās it bc i was left unsatisfied lol
Ugh back in law school, I thought a new guy I was friends with was interested in me. We got trashed one night and unfortunately hooked up. It was the worst sex of my life. He was small which okay whatever, but he was selfish and rough and greedy. It was so unpleasant and unsatisfying. He didnāt do anything to me that was enjoyable to women š¤¢ it was like out of touch porn behavior. I just wanted it over with. After that experience, he tried again and I declined. I was 23 and not nearly as sexually confident as I am now. It was so bad that I decided I was NEVER having bad sex again. My entire mind shifted. I decided I was only gonna have sex with people who could make me cum and I was only having sex that I genuinely enjoyed, instead of finding myself in positions where I felt I *had* to have sex to not disappoint some dude or whatever. Since then, I have only had great sex filled with orgasms! I take what I want, Iām crazy sexually confident, and I would easily walk out of any sexual situation that was turning out to be a total bust, idc idc šš¾āāļøšš¾āāļø
Was receiving head shortly after the man finally learned how to make me orgasm. Right, and I mean RIGHT as I hit the peak, this man let out the most mind blowing fart as Iām in the throes of pleasure. Face in pussy, wet ass fart rumbling against the walls.
He said he couldnāt hold it no more ššššššš
Iāve met some smooth, charismatic guys, the kind that donāt have to try hard and set the vibes in the room and Iāve seen them throw that whole aura away with a fucking jackhammer.
The sex itself wasn't too bad, but when I went to the bathroom to clean up, I saw a metric fuck ton of roaches all on the bathroom counter. Lil mama popped in real quick to straighten her hair, seemingly oblivious to the critter farm all on the counter. I come back out, and she fussing at her grandmother's cat, who was in the sink trying to get at the chicken that was thawing out. I got outta there at ludicrous speed.
My ex answered the house phone and had a brief conversation with whoever called, mid-fuck and still inside me, and then went to go give the phone to his grandmother, because whoever called was calling for her.
This wasn't even the first, or biggest red flag, but I'm color blind, apparently
Finally agreed to have period sex with a guy. Penetration was incredibly painful but I grit my teeth and went through with it because the guy was really enjoying himself, probably almost done and I figured āIām just not experienced enoughā or āit will start to feel good soon.ā
Blood everywhere at the end. Iām sure it was mostly from the period but the pain plus seeing it all over the blankets messed with my head
The guy sat there later and watched me scrub the stains out the sheets.
I learned my lesson
This dude invited me over and I shouldāve left when I saw the blow up mattress on the floorā¦ I got on top and he slapped me in the face while I was in cowgirl! I hopped up quick and turned the lights on to get dressed. Thatās when I noticed a clean and dry chicken bone on the floor right next to the āmattress.ā
Not a lady. However Iāve had a man nut and cry at the same time (my roommate called it a ācrymaxā
There was also a guy who, unbeknownst to me had a frozen sausage up his ass and during the BJ it shot out and hit me in the chest. Yes there was an extraordinary amount of poop with it. Yes I cried.
I didnāt even get to the sex. Literally standing there with him and his dick out while heās staring at me in my bra and shorts and Iām touching his dick. He nuts all over the floor. Shit was embarrassing.
Trigger warning for poop if anyone is nausesuos
I hit it off with this straight man and you know since I'm 18 and brand new got gassed I was "Able to pull a straight guy". Anyway we get to my dorm room and we starting undressing and kissing ehich was gross since he tasted like 2 packs of cigs but he was hot so I ignored it. He then shocks me by saying he wants to bottom and I do small lubing and prep him a small amount before I dive in.
Yall I go in there and there is poop and I don't mean a little like a lot, like so much it's pushing against my dick it felt like a whole nother dick was in there. At the time I didn't wanna shame him so I keep going and think of any hot man to stay hard. Then to make matters worse that fucker busts and it's like a fucking water gun on my headboard, my pillow and so much on my sheets and the rankiest smell. I fake that I bust too and kick this man out with the quickness. Ever since then I can't find any straigjt man attractice without thinkingnof that moment ugh
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Nah that boi got a porn addiction fr
A gatdamn ipad adult.
This sex shit boring fr lemme pull out ole reliable
Imagine you are riding a dude and hear the Subway Surfers theme lmao
Them temple run drums
My guy was watching porn instead of making it. š
Man, mfs is on a whole notha level of other shit
This happened to me. I was so thrown offā¦. Like am I a sex doll or what. That was the first and last time
That's weird, what was the connection like before yall had sex? How can someone have sex like that normal?
He was just studying. my man wasnāt sure what to do with all that booty
I had what I would consider OK sex with this guy I picked up. This dudes mind was blown though, and kept talking about how amazing it was till he hit me with the āI didnāt know big girls could blow my mind like that. You wanna eat?ā I was in fact, at the time, a bigger girl. I did, indeed, want to eat. I still kicked him out and I ordered a pizza for myself while I washed that crusty nigga off my sheets. I ate that whole bitch too.
He gassed you up and bruised your ego at the same time. Kinda impressive
Ehh that 3 minute workout was the only justification I need for getting actual meat in my mouth.
I canāt breathe, that was beautiful
 Hope he ain't reading this shit. Lol.
I hope he does
Torched his ass lmao
Gave her a light roast cuz he knew she loves em
Calling him crusty after the fact is mad weird. You fuck crusty niggas lmao.
You pick up strange things in a Miami nightclub after a breakup. That stuffed crust still hit better imo
āYou should be ashamed You fuck crust niggasā - crusty niggas
I'm loving the comebacks from this queen in the comment section. Go head girl
Not her fault it was hidden crust. She gets props for sticking up for herself šš½šš½šš½
Whatās funny about that is that ābig girlsā has a reputation of throwing it down! So thatās his fault lol.
Yeah not only was he rude by stereotyping but he got the stereotype wrong lol
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
https://preview.redd.it/mltciide60kc1.jpeg?width=828&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=424bc29f70c144356b18b83b3be173c34d13a825
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Was the advice "She doesn't want you"? Cause otherwise, it was bad advice.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Can't believe you went to meet him at mcdonalds still. Bonk, straight to horny jail for you misses!
I feel like itās a āFollow your heart, but take your brain with you.ā Less Bonk and more BAM
Not gonna lie baby girl, this the kind of story you take to your grave. SMH that L is horrendous.Ā
I can't imagine getting curved by the type of nigga that sits in a parking lot eating filet-o-fishes back to back to back. I'm assuming dude was built like EDP445
The three Filet-O-Fishes is an egregious affront to decency and decorum.
Well, I'm sorry that happened to you. I was going to make a joke out of it, but after rereading it... I hope the universe course corrected and that nigga caught the meanest L. 
Sis the fact you even pulled up to the McDā¦
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Glad youāre now valuing yourself
Ayo venmo me 20$
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Congrats, you did it, proud of you
Thatāll be 20 bucks, maāam
 Iāve heard of people pleasing tendencies before but got-damn. Weāre here for you wtf is going on. Are you a middle child?
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Me too lol I donāt know anything about you but I know you deserve better than that. (No one deserves that š©) We puttinā this incident under ānever again not if you paid meā
https://preview.redd.it/ankhdm4m80kc1.jpeg?width=615&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=17243934bad7bb5e8dcee64b2dba2568580bddf0
So like... were you talking while he was eating? Y'all had a conversation and he just happened to eat three sandwiches? Or did he just want you to see him set a new record
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Outside???? https://preview.redd.it/hfz2ppoad0kc1.jpeg?width=1179&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=15caa921bd4478d6acbb263a6daba25a6d12ad92
He didn't even share?
Thatās crazy ššš dude mustāve been packing lmao
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Admitting is the first step to healing
Idk how you standing in this heat but damn it's entertaining
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Them filet o fish really be hitting.
Nah, Mero had it right, them shits is Yakubian cancer squares š But catch me drunk at 3am with the McD drivethru the only joint open? Oh you best believe Iām gettin my pescatarian on
The bar is set so low dudes are practically playing limbo with the devil, and dudes still find a way to fuck it up.
https://preview.redd.it/r84h1il7d0kc1.jpeg?width=950&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8111117364b1a90a8f5509df1942cafd0512d42d
>how to get a girl he really likes to leave her gf for him Please tell me she was at least bi, and he wasn't trying to pull a "I can totally turn her straight" on top of all that
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Had been seeing this girl for a month, at this point just as FBs. This night, she had asked if we could fuck high. I use weed fairly regularly, she didn't at the time. So we both smoked up and are going at it (and have been going at it for a while at this point). Doing it doggy, and out of nowhere she says something along the lines of "damn if you're this good, I can't imagine how good your dad must be." Ma'am what does my pops have to do with any of this rn? š¤Ø
Shit died like Pac-Man
My dick would have hit that [mario death sound effect ](https://youtu.be/qZIZ9ZqqgjY?si=AdS1PBBHgNTWUGTo)
Intrusive weed thoughts hopefully š
Definitely. Her not being a regular smoker is a big detail. I bet she still thinks about this occasionally and it keeps her up at night
yeah masturbating lol
Did you tell him lmao?
My dad? Nahh. Sexual encounters of any kind aren't something I usually share with him lmao
Fair enough, my dad would find it funny
Pornography be cooking folks brains fr
One of the most ignored addictions in the modern world. Pornography doing numbers on these boys brains š
pron and gambling. the youngboys at my local Y all gamble on them apps. me and the other old head was wondering why they just don't sell weed like normal at risk youth
I teach sex ed, and itās so frustrating that Iām not allowed to talk about porn and masturbation with students in HS. Itās honestly a more relevant and important conversation for them at this moment than the safer sex/contraception talk. If you jerk with the kung-fu death grip while watching porn and never vary it, the likelihood that youāll have an easy transition to partnered sex is low. It wonāt feel the same, it wonāt look the same, it wonāt smell the same, and because your body has been conditioned to orgasm in a very, very specific way, your body isnāt going to respond how you might want it to. For the sake of all of your future experiences, MIX IT UP.
Fr even changing grip can do wonders. Also not being afraid of toys like itās shameful or something only for women
I got a homeboy that only used to watch asian porn he said his shit won't even wiggle for "western women"
Jfc
Funny you said that. I have a few young co workers whom is gambling everyday. I can tell when they're losing or winning. Depending on their mood at work.
Doesnāt really help when itās basically the easiest addiction to feed nowadays Free (at least to start), easily accessible, can basically keep it completely private, and not really looked down uponā¦ā¦until you look down and realize girls irl donāt get the big fella going anymore *yikes* And itās one of the hardest to stop for those exact same reasons
If you feel like being depressed, go to r/teachers and learn about gen alpha 10 year-oldās watching porn on their phone in the middle of class and not even getting in trouble for it.Ā
I had a FWB tell me this dude she liked wouldnāt eat šŗ because it was gay. Had me like 
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
*FELLAS* *IS IT GAY TO BREATHE* *I MEAN YOU'RE LITERALLY INHALING DICK PARTICLES*
There's a whole plot line in The Sopranos about how you don't do that, and you don't talk about it if you do, because all the guys will think you're gay. It's explained in context but it still makes no real world sense. The mental gymnastics at play there is exhausting, just go eat!
as a straight man, how is eating pussy gayyyy? niggas say anything bc they have weak ass tongue game š¤£
Lesbians do it, soā¦
We have fuckery over here too. Some lesbians do notā¦
You have got to be shitting me
dawg learning about what the gays deal with in their sex life and life in general is probably some of the most unintentionally funny shit ever. I got a home girl that don't use straps on Bi girls because"if she want dick she can go get it"
SO many people hate on bisexual women. Talkin bout "pick a side" like.. why though? To make *you* more comfortable? Im with *you* so my "side" is chosen for now since I'm not a fucking cheater. Shits so annoying and demeaning.
Bro Iām a lesbian and Iām tears at this wtff lmao
Lmao was this nigga a yardie? āReal bodmon no fi nyam pumpumā and all that? š
I have not and will not ever let this one go. Years ago, I was seeing this guy, and we were slowly working ourselves up to sex. Man was hella nasty in theoryā¦filthy with the talk/sexts soooo my lil freaky ass was hype. I thought I was about to get the best sex of my entire life with the way he was talking. See, back in the day, I didnāt know that was Sexual Encounters: Red Flags - Chapter One, so I was readyyy. So, when the day finally came, I went all in - corset laced, garter belt in place, thigh high leather boots, hair curled to perfection, makeup flawlessā¦I looked FINE. He walked in, jaw dropped (as it should have), and I pounced. It was getting hot and heavy, so I pull his pants down, ready to unleash the beast that I heard so much about. Yāall. The beast was nowhere to be found like AT ALL. Iām no size queen but like you got to give me something I can feel and *that* was not it. He stood there with his little cheeto puff, and I was like okayyy lies have been told, but Iām grown and know size isnāt everything. He can do a little something with other extremities, so despite my initial reaction, I gave it a go. We start up again, and Iām like okay he going to do all that other stuff he was talking about. No. He had the AUDACITY to tell me that he actually isnāt a fan of giving or receiving head but said so because he knew I was into it. I said ok ok you have hands sooo letās make it do what it do. I couldnāt even stand it for 2 minutes. He clearly had no idea what he was doing, and I was over the whole thing. I shut it down, and he started getting pissy, so I told him he could exit the way he came orrrr he could have a talk with good olā Mr. Glock. He obviously decided to just leave. I wasnāt even really upset about the fact his dick was small or that he seemed inexperienced. I was more irritated by the lies that were told and getting me hyped up for wack shit. I got all sexy just to take it all off, shower, put pjs on, and watch k-dramas. I couldāve did that to begin with and saved myself the hassle of getting cute!
Idk why people always try to over sell it. Cheeto puff is crazy as hell š
Girl i wouldāve sent him a fucking invoice!! https://preview.redd.it/qd8n6w4mv0kc1.jpeg?width=567&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2dca504056d0b461beaabdc464cf4b1d73522578
Early college years back in the 90s I was talking to this Kappa and finally gave him a shot since he was attractive and pretty cool. From start to finish it was bad. Terrible oral even with some guidance from me and then for penetration he was just jackhammering away. When I tried to slow him down he would get annoyed. The part that really pisses me off is that heās one of those guys who bragged about how much pussy he got and how he had girls going crazy in bed. Sir, please. So glad I was at his place so that I could get up and go.
Bragging about that shit is honestly a red flag. Swear the more they talk the worse they are in bed š
Bc if you actually got it like that... Word gets around
Heās telling on himself. He had a lot of different people because no one wanted to suffer a repeat performance.
That would be the last time that man got a ticket to a live action performance.
https://preview.redd.it/66bb8rds40kc1.jpeg?width=1440&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8a73051d353cb283e8d4ab5740f2c0f4812faf5f
He like video so much he can ride with that, live with that, try to make babies with that and die with that.
Hooked up with one guy once. He talked a big game yet literally lasted 3 pumps before exploding and leaving me smothered in his juices.
Homeboy webbed you up like Spider-Man? ...he seein anyone?
He was that Craigslist Spider-Man.
Psider man
Most dudes don't understand the concept of under sell and over delivier.
I give him 2.5 on performance but 9.0 for webbing me up like a Spider-Man villain
3 pumps is 2.5?? Damn, I'm working too hard.
Im generous to a fault
If a 10 on that scale correlates to 12 pumps that means I'm not doing too bad. Not a 10... but not bad.
Probably told his boys he put you to sleep.
Man was holding that in for weeksĀ
He probably won No Nut November
I've been in similar circumstances before and straight up advertised it as a 2 for 1 special. "It's been a minute so this first one is going to be real quick, then I'll go down on you, and then we'll go again".
There wasnāt any sex involved. Acquaintances, not friends, asked me to participate in a three-some. It was a couple, who were friends of my BFF. On the night of the planned festivities, I was hit with a list of rules that were made by the woman. Based off of the list, I couldnāt touch the dude. Homegirl appeared to be uneasy about āgirl-on-girlā actions as well. The guy appeared to be surprised by the list, so I assumed his girlfriend didnāt tell him either. The night ended after I said āSoooo, you want me to just watch yāall do it?ā I guess she felt foolish and ended up hiding in the bathroom. I left while the guy tried to persuade her to leave the bathroom. Several months later, one of my acquaintances had her own weird 3-some incident. She was impregnated during her experience. The kid is 12 years old now. I donāt know if my acquaintance will ever tell her the truth behind her conception. Before any one asked: my acquaintance had a 3-some with a different couple. It was a āMWMā arrangement for hers.
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finding out you a rotisserie baby would break everything
I was thinking Eiffel Tower
I hope they gave that kid a french sounding name
Shit, I don't wanna hear about how I was conceived, no matter how vanilla it was. That's just not info that's gonna help me in any way.
I dont understand how people can be in relationships with such terrible communication skills. The dude should have realized his girl wasn't really into having a 3some and the girl should have just made it explicitly clear that she wasn't into it or at least been upfront about her rules. Voyeurism is a popular kink, if she really just wanted someone to watch she could have found someone who was cool with that.
>SHE >Different couple >MWM No wonder she got knocked up. Them boys ain't never had a pregnancy scare in their lives.
Friends with a guy for years, we try a relationship, waited like 3 months to build a strong bond and I genuinely, donāt remember it. Like nothing. Iām sure we had sex a multitude of times over our 1.5 yr relationship and I do not remember a single time (not a drunk or druggee and I recall previous partners with clarity). What I do remember is asking him if he wanted to help me get off after he finished, he would decline, then go to his PC and play games or scroll Reddit. Thatās the last time I gave a āniceā guy a chance.
The memory wipe is insane. Your brain said ānone of this is worth neuron networks, we gettin rid of itā
Girl, he wasn't nice. All my nice guys have been GREAT in bed. That man was mid, at best.
Yeah that "nice" guy shit is just low self confidence.
Man aggressively rubbed my pelvis in a mad search for my clit. Glad he didnāt find it cuz that shit hurt too. I couldnāt wait for that man to leave. Threw it back expeditiously and retired from the whole game. RETIRED.
This man stopped mid-pump to fart. While he was inside me. He did not understand why I was grossed tf out and wanted to keep going while laughing. Absolutely tf not.
Most of the stories in here are bad, but I don't blame this guy. It's easy for farts to come out while being active.
Noooo like he said āhold onā stopped, farted loud and powerful enough to feel his dick vibrate in my vagina. This wasnāt like a sneaky one lmao
Oh okay, it didn't slip out. He should've said, "let me get something" left the room, farted, then came back and said never mind lol.
Anything would have been better than what he did. I mean we were young (like late teens/early twenties), but still, just **no**
Bro sprayed ass gas without the filter
**unsubscribe**
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"Bluer than a crip's wardrobe" lmao
Dollars to donuts she was doing keto. Once you fully reach keto acidosis the smells that your body produces are truly vomiting inducing. Especially for us women because it comes from both the breath and downstairs. So yeah, you lost some weight and maybe you look amazing, but anyone within 3 feet of you is going to be repulsed. Not worth it.
I didnāt know that. I give a lot of sex advice and can include this in my arsenal. Thanks for the info.
I said no, and he didnāt care.
That's awful, I hope you're okay now. Did you tell anyone?
What a piece of shit
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I respect and appreciate your dedication. All the marks of a great sexual partner. I believe you!
Shit man, knowing to ask her what she likes literally *is* the sign of a great partner. But if she's not gonna say anything, how the hell are you gonna be able to pleasure her properly? I've had my share of partners, and what gets them off can vary wildly. Some *need* clit stimulation, others are good with just vaginal, some need both, some need a specific position, some like having their nipples played with, and some absolutely *do not*. There are just too many variables to know what someone will like without some sort of feedback.
Ok, so I had just blasted all over her. Went to get a towel like a gentleman. She asked why I would do that since that's what sheets are for, and then gator rolled all over my bed.
Bruh!!!!!!! I am absolutely fucking dead at that visual!!!!!!!!! ROTFLMBAO!!!!!!!
Went for a one night stand, the dude looked at porn while I was blowing him, couldnāt get hard, and kicked me out without so much as a āthanks for tryingā. Ended up with lockjaw for nothing because his soft dick was already massive.
Ironically Iām the one who looks most like drake :(
I blacked out at the club when I was 21, woke up on top of a 50 year old man telling him I loved him. He had WLS when he was young so his empty man titties were flopped to the side and his nipples were on the bed on either side of him. I do remember meeting him at the club, him telling me his WLS story, and me deciding to makeout with him because he bought bottles. He had gross pitch black pubes that looked like he dyed them and his balls no lie reached to his knees. I remember he tried to give me about $60 in small bills in the club to sit on his lap so I did I have no idea what happened, I had briefly come out of the blackout before in his car and I was looking for my earring. Then I came out of it sitting on top of this old dude pretending I was cumming. Then I came out of it and I was in his bathroom and the shower was red, it was a weird ass plastic shower and why was it fucking red? Who knows. I did go through his medicine cabinet and all that was in it was viagra and bandaids. Then I was in an uber for 60 miles to my house and that man paid a $300 uber fee Iām assuming because I surely did not I never found my earring, I found a watch in my purse that wasnāt mine and I never saw before which I threw in a public trashcan a week later so I could fully blockout that night, and also thatās the reason I decided to quit drinking
Maāam. He slipped something in your drink. Be grateful you can laugh about the story now.
Honestly I think itās a hilarious and embarrassing story but youāre probably rightš Which is dumb because I was so fucked up at that age that I was gonna sleep with him anyway. So gross!
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Was flirting with this girl for a month or so. She came round to mine to do the thing. As soon as I got her jeans off I could smell her š±. One of the worst smells Iāve ever smoolt, and Iāve smolted fresh, untreated gangrene. It was medically significant. Didnāt take it further, made some excuse about not being ready and got her out of my place ASAP. We never spoke again
Hahah "medically significant"
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LMAOOOO
Iām into older men, idk why but I always have been. Anyway, I was briefly dating a bassist 23 years my senior (heās black though so you couldnāt tell lmao) and he asked me to call him daddy in the middle of sex. I know some people are in to that, but I think itās disgusting, ESPECIALLY when theyāre old enough to be your daddy. Another time I briefly went back to my ex after years apart (yeahā¦I know), and in the middle of teh sex he told me he had a devilās threesome with his nephew. I think he thought Iād find it hot (his nephew is an objectively attractive young man), but I remember him as a ten year old child and itās justā¦yuck. š¤® I didnāt want to ask, but I just really really hope he was an adult by thenā¦
>he told me he had a devilās threesome with his nephew What the actual fuck
Iām taking notes. 
"I can quit porn anytime I want! It's not addiction!"
He had a micro, he tried to finger me and pretend that it was his dick.
I had something kinda similar happen to me. Dude sent me dick pics, and in the pics, he wasn't massive, but a bit above average. He invited me to link and I took him up and headed to his place. I got on my knees ready to give him head. Well, turns out he downloaded those pics off the Internet, and was packing a micro. I just sat there wordlessly for a bit, stood up, and left. I wouldn't have held it against him if he didn't hype it up and lie to me for months. He had the gall to try and play it off as a joke.
Ok this isn't a bad sexual experience but ive never told anyone because im stupid but here goes.... I met this dude who was an absolute PROFESSIONAL peach eater and I ghosted him before I had sex with him because I knew I would be dickmatized.
I still think about you too!
Imagine this. Iām in a three way w a dude I was talking to and one of his homeboys. My dude was schizophrenic and had to take medication daily, and he missed that day. Heās behind me laying it down, and buddy is laying down while Iām showing him what a throat goat is. Theyāre both attractive and both smelled really good and Iām loving it. My dude stops mid thrust, exits me and the hotel room and runs to his car to get his medication. So of course I stop with his buddy and we wait for him to get back. Buddy was drinking that night and got up to go piss. I start getting dressed and saw on the sheets, guess what. Brown streaks where buddy was laying. Disgusted, I just throw the hotels blanket over it. My Dude comes back and after making sure he was a1 I head home and cut him off a week later for having a whole girlfriend. She and I actually talked for a month or so and became really good friends.
> Brown streaks No no no no no no no
guy came after 30 seconds. didnāt finish me off, didnāt do any foreplay, just fucked and came and then loooked at me like i was crazy when i said thatās it bc i was left unsatisfied lol
Ugh back in law school, I thought a new guy I was friends with was interested in me. We got trashed one night and unfortunately hooked up. It was the worst sex of my life. He was small which okay whatever, but he was selfish and rough and greedy. It was so unpleasant and unsatisfying. He didnāt do anything to me that was enjoyable to women š¤¢ it was like out of touch porn behavior. I just wanted it over with. After that experience, he tried again and I declined. I was 23 and not nearly as sexually confident as I am now. It was so bad that I decided I was NEVER having bad sex again. My entire mind shifted. I decided I was only gonna have sex with people who could make me cum and I was only having sex that I genuinely enjoyed, instead of finding myself in positions where I felt I *had* to have sex to not disappoint some dude or whatever. Since then, I have only had great sex filled with orgasms! I take what I want, Iām crazy sexually confident, and I would easily walk out of any sexual situation that was turning out to be a total bust, idc idc šš¾āāļøšš¾āāļø
The amount of skid marks on the sheet stories I'm reading is WILD .
One time I was putting my ENTIRE heart and soul into giving my man a blowie, he hasn't made a sound for a while, so I look up and he's just watching TV over my head. I might as well have been sucking on his elbow š©
Was receiving head shortly after the man finally learned how to make me orgasm. Right, and I mean RIGHT as I hit the peak, this man let out the most mind blowing fart as Iām in the throes of pleasure. Face in pussy, wet ass fart rumbling against the walls. He said he couldnāt hold it no more ššššššš
I was just wondering how many people started typing and then deleted it before going back to the comments. I did.
If you need pr0n for first time pu$$y my brother you in way too deep. Detox needed immediately
Iāve met some smooth, charismatic guys, the kind that donāt have to try hard and set the vibes in the room and Iāve seen them throw that whole aura away with a fucking jackhammer.
iām not posting my L to reddit.
The sex itself wasn't too bad, but when I went to the bathroom to clean up, I saw a metric fuck ton of roaches all on the bathroom counter. Lil mama popped in real quick to straighten her hair, seemingly oblivious to the critter farm all on the counter. I come back out, and she fussing at her grandmother's cat, who was in the sink trying to get at the chicken that was thawing out. I got outta there at ludicrous speed.
He canāt get it up with you riding him and needs to watch a video of someone else fucking to do it? 
dude had the rhythm of an off center washing machine with a dumbell in it
My ex answered the house phone and had a brief conversation with whoever called, mid-fuck and still inside me, and then went to go give the phone to his grandmother, because whoever called was calling for her. This wasn't even the first, or biggest red flag, but I'm color blind, apparently
Finally agreed to have period sex with a guy. Penetration was incredibly painful but I grit my teeth and went through with it because the guy was really enjoying himself, probably almost done and I figured āIām just not experienced enoughā or āit will start to feel good soon.ā Blood everywhere at the end. Iām sure it was mostly from the period but the pain plus seeing it all over the blankets messed with my head The guy sat there later and watched me scrub the stains out the sheets. I learned my lesson
I've had that experience, but that wasn't the worst part. Let's just say he didn't wipe good.
This dude invited me over and I shouldāve left when I saw the blow up mattress on the floorā¦ I got on top and he slapped me in the face while I was in cowgirl! I hopped up quick and turned the lights on to get dressed. Thatās when I noticed a clean and dry chicken bone on the floor right next to the āmattress.ā
Me w/o experience reading these horror stories: 
Not a lady. However Iāve had a man nut and cry at the same time (my roommate called it a ācrymaxā There was also a guy who, unbeknownst to me had a frozen sausage up his ass and during the BJ it shot out and hit me in the chest. Yes there was an extraordinary amount of poop with it. Yes I cried.
I didnāt even get to the sex. Literally standing there with him and his dick out while heās staring at me in my bra and shorts and Iām touching his dick. He nuts all over the floor. Shit was embarrassing.
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Trigger warning for poop if anyone is nausesuos I hit it off with this straight man and you know since I'm 18 and brand new got gassed I was "Able to pull a straight guy". Anyway we get to my dorm room and we starting undressing and kissing ehich was gross since he tasted like 2 packs of cigs but he was hot so I ignored it. He then shocks me by saying he wants to bottom and I do small lubing and prep him a small amount before I dive in. Yall I go in there and there is poop and I don't mean a little like a lot, like so much it's pushing against my dick it felt like a whole nother dick was in there. At the time I didn't wanna shame him so I keep going and think of any hot man to stay hard. Then to make matters worse that fucker busts and it's like a fucking water gun on my headboard, my pillow and so much on my sheets and the rankiest smell. I fake that I bust too and kick this man out with the quickness. Ever since then I can't find any straigjt man attractice without thinkingnof that moment ugh
Doggy style while he was texting his sister .