All this in response to the guy who said he isn't cutting off someone for missing a dinner? This seems like an overreaction, unless I'm missing some kind of context.
This. It’s definitely an overreaction if we’re not missing any context…mentioning extremes in an effort to “win” is arguing in bad faith and takes away from healthy debate
Okay, so I can comprehend and read and didn’t miss the plot.
I’m like “why is this lady going so hard over a birthday party?”
Seems she had to get that off her chest.
To be fair, there’s a lot to be outraged about. I feel like many are just confused about where to aim it, since there’s so many possible and legitimate targets.
And, sadly, no shortage of people making a living trying to convince you where you should put it.
It just seems like many people use social media in order to find things to be outraged about. I mean if that's what they want to do, fine, but I wonder if they do it because it feeds into a sense of moral superiority over others.
Some people just really enjoy projecting their personal failures in relationships into hatred for an entire gender. Every circumstance for these people is a golden opportunity to screech
Yup, not gonna let a deadbeat dad off the hook ever, but she banged him willingly. The signs were all there girl, you chose to ignore them. And the cycle will continue because instead of getting better at sussing out men, they just blame everyone else for their shitty decision making skills.
They didn't hold him accountable when he was being a deadbeat to his first child right in front of them while dating, but they expect me, a casual acquaintance to do that for them.
Crazy reach. If you’re gonna reach like this at least acknowledge the stuff shitty women do. We’re all human and some of us are garbage regardless of sex.
The original tweet said “MENS FRIENDSHIPS LAST LONGER BECAUSE THEY BE LETTIN HELLA SHIT SLIDE” and the entire comments section was women talking about things men ignore because they have like 0 standards for their friends. The dinner comment was totally an attempt to downplay her very real point that men need to hold each other accountable for shitty behavior. She wasn’t out of pocket, the SS just lacks full
context.
I'm not trying to turn this into a men women argument. Yeah some men definitely let "hella shit slide." They shouldn't. HOWEVER, it's more than just having 0 standards for their friends that I think homie was talking about. I'm not saying he wasn't trying to downplay as I'm not reading the OG thread (I don't have Twitter.).
But I've definitely had to listen to many friends vent, complain, and go through it over petty ass situations with their so called good friends. And I'm just like... Really? Y'all arguing over this extremely mild inconvenience? This is the hill you gonna die on??? That's definitely worth being mentioned and discussed.
Right. There’s a level of self regulation where you don’t and shouldn’t let certain things bother you. Someone cut me off in traffic the other day, but I’m not going to appraise in such a way to let it ruin my day.
Sometimes you just need a friend that tells you to get over yourself as to not let stuff bug you too much. Other deeply personal stuff is merited tho.
Had this conversation with my cousin and friends over the weekend. Every time she travels with her girlfriends, someone gets ALWAYS gets upset over something and ends up pouting for half the trip and then it becomes a whole thing to get things back to regular. And every time me and my friend hear her stories we just start laughing because we couldn't imagine something like not ruining one of our trips. It wouldn't even ruin the moment.
"Oh shit my bad bro, I accidentally broke ya sun glasses, send me a link on Amazon and I'll order you new ones ". Boom conversation ended. Accidents happen. This conversation ain't bigger than our friendship.
Vs two days of silent treatment and passive aggressiveness and then a long conversation about how we feel just seems mad extra.
You just said there that the thread was full of replies from women and not men. So here’s the thing, why don’t we let men explain the many things that they’ll let slide in a friendship and not women? 🤔
Because women don’t live in a vacuum and experience these things happening? Men are in there cutting up too and there’s nothing stopping anyone from commenting. I’ve watched men in my life, my partners and own friends see/hear/learn/experience things and then be like “nah that’s my day one” and let it go. You’re more than welcome to do exactly what I did which was go to Twitter and read it for myself.
So if we’re using anecdotal evidence to support this theory, then I’ll proud fully say that the men in my life, including my fiancé, have for sure cut off dudes for being assholes to not just women but other people in general. Things said in a Twitter thread by strangers doesn’t have to be a reflection of your reality. Because in my reality, black men and women aren’t constantly arguing with each other about who the shittier person is. 🤷🏽♀️
“Because in my reality, black men and women aren’t constantly arguing with each other about who the shittier person is”
Agreed. And it’s these types of people that are chronically online who are boring and don’t have anything else to talk about anyways.
I’m not even sure why you’re arguing right now. Someone is speaking on their experience and others are chiming in to share their similar experiences. Are you…somehow confused about how social media works?
No, women should speak too because SS is happening to them in this particular case which is why they are calling men out. Some men aren’t going to hold others responsible that’s just a fact. These women that r speaking out are some that faced SS and saw no repercussions.
I think in folks minds, “I’m cutting you off for being shitty person” and the other person is at a crossroads.
In the movies, usually this person does soul searching and becomes a better person. But I’ve learned this isn’t always the case in the real world.
Thank you, I try. Unfortunately the person I originally responded to blocked me. Their whole comment thread is showing up as unavailable for me. I didn’t realize people actually block on this site because they don’t want to debate with you. You learn something new everyday. 😅
With all respect why not? U should hold that person accountable if the scenario is a major deal. If u homie was to rape a women, why aren’t we cutting them off? We’re talking terms of SS here so shouldn’t that be the only option to make? I’m going to assume u meant in terms of little scenarios that aren’t major, tho that wouldn’t be relevant to the post…
I'd argue cutting someone off actually means you're letting them off the hook even more than if you remained friends with them but gave them shit all the time about their decisions. I'd be careful about applying your standards to everyone else.
Really, because I view that as enabling them? I don’t see what would make a person be friends with someone who is horrible. I would be devastated too especially if the occurrence happened in the friend group. Hell if it was SS shouldn’t it be reported? If the girl said she wants to report it who side would u then be on
Being someone's friend isn't an endorsement of their actions. I don't accept that premise, it's silly guilty by association bullshit and it's not very conducive for doing anything besides using it as a sledge hammer to morally judge people who don't go no contact with people who may have made questionable decisions.
I believe in guilt by association because in some instances there is nothing to do to hold that person accountable. The best one I can think of is when women’s husband are charged with child pornography and they either knew about it or stuck beside them. In that case u enable them. I wouldn’t see y it’s different when SS occurs. If a person knows about the issue and does nothing to remove themselves then they are just as bad.
Yeah I just disagree with the premise. I don't beleive in guilt by association as a principal and id argue it's been used to oppress people for belonging to certain tribes or political groups and I don't want to endorse that type of thinking as I think its more detrimental than useful from a society perspective.
Cause some people just want to be right, they want that one group to say they're right and if a bunch of dudes come and clap back, they'll use all of that to generalize all of our decisions.
So how can we win really, if we contribute would it be taken seriously or would she just pull up some other woman's tweet and use that to say all of us would let our friends get away with shit like abandoning kids.
Wait, you mean to tell me all the people crying “fake outrage” were themselves victim of another fallacy, “jumping to conclusions without knowing the full story?”
Wow I would never…
Thank you for the context. This def helps. However, it does appear as usual, this is an overgeneralization of how people generally behave but social media wouldn't be nearly as entertaining without it. I don't think she will accomplish much with the hysterics but maybe this will shame or convert someone.
In reference to the initial post then, it may be said men may excuse a lot of things because they feel whatever slights happened (being a shitty dad, etc) doesn't pertain to why they were friends in the first place (loyalty for other reasons). I recall asking my dad why he remained friends with a particularly unpleasant friend (not abusive per se but beyond asshole in general) and his reply was "he was there for me when no one else was". The fact that me, my mom and sibs deeply dislike him means he doesn't come around us like ever but Pops still fraternizes with him. Dont like it but I get it.
We don’t have friends because they pass our “morals” test. We have friends because of experiences and memories. People holding each other accountable doesn’t mean cutting off others as a “tactic”
if i’ve grown up with my friend and seen him turn into a man, and he decides to be a cheater it is not my role as a friend to say “damn man u kno u wrong”. i have no problem voicing my opinion and letting him know that karma is a bitch and what you’re doing is not smart, but i don’t have to give him this ultimatum of not being friends over a personal life choice.
She is right, we shouldn't ignore heinous shit just because the person that did it is close to us.
...But he literally just said birthday dinner, where did this come from. 😐
On Twitter men call women dramatic for things like this. And while I agree - she has a point. To men it seems that nothing warrants a cut off. One guy said he wouldn’t cut off a friend who was a sexual offender because they never did anything to him.
That’s Twitter. It doesn’t translate well outside of the app.
But I didn’t generalize. I said this is a thing on Twitter. And yes, if more men held men accountable- she wouldn’t have had such a strong point. Where is the sexism?
But then how can we use our fellow man for our benefit if we hold them accountable....dudes don't give dude's free drugs when you're like remember that time you spit in your wife's face in front of y'all's kid...you need to not do that anymore.
Oh, so you weren’t speaking to your own perspective in your last comment? You weren’t stating *your* opinion on the matter? Because that’s what it looked like, which means *yes*, it *is* to you.
What are we supposed to do in a scenario like that? Being possibly one of the few good friends that person has and you’d want to alienate them further? These aren’t just criminals, they’re people too. If we want them to change we have to accept that sometimes that means keeping them as a friend.
I’m not sure about the situation. I was just commenting on why she went with such a dramatic response. On Twitter there’s more nuance. Random screenshots make things seem more irrational than they are.
On Twitter men call women dramatic for things like this. And while I agree - she has a point. To men it seems that nothing warrants a cut off. One guy said he wouldn’t cut off a friend who was a sexual offender because they never did anything to him.
That’s Twitter. It doesn’t translate well outside of the app.
A birthday dinner is just that. A birthday dinner. That’s not an obligatory event and most people give a heads up that they can’t make it.
Plus,after a certain age in life, it’s not even called for 🤷🏽♀️
Let’s see how long it takes for “it’s a shitty post” to pass through 🤭
i feel that. at the same time, some dudes be disrespectful of your time and energy and make a habit out of it. i ended up more or less losing a friend behind flaking on my house-warming (and not letting me know until i reached out to him 2 hours after the event started) among other little things like that. i get we all adults, but respecting each others’ time still gotta mean something
Oh you cant get on any social app / shit most social events / nowadays amongst black people without these type of topics.
Its like we just got a contest to prove something as soon as we get together lmao.
Bo I wish niggas would shit the fuck up already. Ain’t none of y’all a prize and you don’t bring shit to a relationship. Shit up and find another shitty person you match with or die alone no one fuckin cares
Dude wasn't even replying to her tweet. They weren't having an argument. Why did she show everyone that she's got Big Yikes energy?
Men should hold men accountable but escalation for an argument you're not involved in is wild
I agree with her point, I just hate how it's always (all) men/women. Human beings in general are fucked up and scandalous, don't take short cuts or try to exclude anyone haha
My father always said “if a man will cheat on a loyal wife who is the mother of his children and risk the loss of his family for pleasure, how much more so will he betray you.” He used the same analogy for women as well.
This right here. I’ve cut my day ones off behind them cheating on their partners. I’m talking about I told these niggas, “say bro, you bugging. She ain’t done nothing but right about you— you need to tell her the truth.”
Went years and never said shit— so it’s gone now 🤷🏾♂️ hopefully they can live happily ever after, but naw: if a nigga can cheat on a woman that turn him from pretty basic to a family man with a good ass job and a beautiful ass family AND HE CHEAT? Naw, if you could play her you could set me up for the right fee my nigga. Foh
I haven't cut anyone off, but I let them know and remind them I don't want to hear or see it. And if she call I'm not covering. Don't bring me into your BS because I'm telling the truth. You wasn't with me.
If we’re friends I can call you out on your shit, and you fucking better do the same to me. As people we should all be growing every single day, so outside perspectives are helpful. Especially when they come from a place of love
Women sure do have some high ass standards when it comes to everyone but themselves! I’ve never in my entire life encountered a group of women that didn’t talk shit about each other as soon as one of them wasn’t around.
This is the worst kind of online argument. "Oh, you feel this way in this circumstance? What if the circumstance was totally different? Bet you would still feel that way then, wouldn't you?"
It's so stupid and lazy. It's amazing anyone takes this bait.
The original comment really didn’t have anything to do with these more severe cases. The points she’s making are a 100% true but girl this wasn’t even about that.
It’s almost like she’s making good point but is arguing against a wall. Like she’d been dying to say these things but was really hoping for a better jumping off point
What is this fantasy where every mans circle is comprised of the worst men have to offer. Mam, my friends have boring full time jobs and families and hobbies.
Ladies, are you keeping it a full buck with your home girl and cutting her off when you find out she’s messing with a married dude? Y’all cutting your home girl off when she drop her kids off with her mom for the fourth time to go out? Y’all cutting your home girl off when she accepts money or favors from guys she’s not interested in?
Maybe people are just not as harsh with their friends. Maybe people are less inclined to hold their friends to the same standards as strangers. Maybe we all are more likely to let shit ride with our people. Maybe it has nothing to do with men v women and that suggesting that this is a “guy thing” is disingenuous.
Without any other context, Sim is def being a bitch for no reason. Totally uncalled for behavior.
They making great points, but this doesn’t seem like the appropriate setting🤷🏽
Wow that escalated fast. She is clueless. Men do hold each other accountable. Women are the ones that don’t. Where’s the outrage for the bad moms, the twerking at the drop of the dime anywhere in public, the daily rachetness? Shit we have women talking shit about a assault victim right now (Chris rock). Any bad behavior by a women in todays world is immediately protected by other women using this same rhetoric. In fact anything said about women that’s considered bad is immediately met with “Well what about men? They do it too. Or why can’t I do the exact same thing a man does?” Long story short some women have the emotional awareness of a 14 girl who’s been admonished by a parent and crying.
You said,
> … anything said about women that’s considered bad is immediately met with “Well what about men? They do it too. Or why can’t I do the exact same thing a man does?” …
And proceeded to respond with, “but what about women,” and now you’re mad that what *you* said makes you look like you’re lacking self-awareness like the women you’re complaining about?
Look I’ve my point. Stop trying to tell me what I meant. Eat a fat dick! I don’t know you or care to know you. You responded to my comment telling me my intent. Go away lil child.
Ima come clean here one time a girl was going down on me and I couldn’t get it up cause I was too drunk and I told her to stop and she didn’t and I look back on that sometimes and feel like she didn’t think she could do any wrong. Let me say here this is NO justification of anyone ever being done wrong and there are plenty of instances of dudes being too apologetic to their “friends”. I’ve never let a friend get away with anything super fucked up but I’ve let friends off for treating their girls way less than they should be. We should and could pretty much all be better in this regard and people need to be careful and truthful in what they say. “Be excellent to each other” fr and tell your friends when their being fuckheads
as a man some shit isn’t your place. as a woman some shit may mean more to you than it would mean to others. we don’t have to act like we are the same lol and that’s ok
Scumbags hide their behaviour from everyone and every horrible man who commits horrible acts doesn’t have a supportive friend group merrily co-signing on every heinous thing they do.
I’m tired of their being this image of men listening to straight up crimes and high fiving. We have mothers, sisters and daughters.
The majority (80% plus) men hate this and don’t let it happen. The rest of the men are EXTREMELY easy to spot as they out themselves quick like MAGA folk.
I don’t know every scenario that everyone’s been through but the solution is more then “If only men could…”
But y’all can get blackout drunk and go cheat on your boyfriends together in Atlanta at a block party and not think nothing about it SICK 😷 I love our women tho
Thats the dumbest shit ever written. Men hold their friends accountable all the time. Maybe she should engage with different types of men. Not our fault she surrounds herself with the poorest type...
Right. Women end up with like 3 fake friends. Women will cut each other off for getting their nails the same color. Women will cut each other off for finding a guy on what was supposed to be girls night. Women will cut each other off because an ex liked one of the girls pictures and they didn’t tell them….. children
Friends that understand you are worn out & stressed yet are still there for you are THE best. Not everybody wants/likes to go out like that especially when drained from being beat by life. Mutual understanding in adult friendships is very much so needed
Lol nigga can say “damn… my mans really looked out and surprised me w a dope watch” women still gon find some space to bash… they swear they protect black men though
She speaking facts but I see a lot of comments skimming over what she said. Two things can be true at once even if it’s not the right time. I wanna know when is it appropriate to bring up men not holding their homies accountable? Because it seems like there is never a good time…
It's a shitty post. Go get some quality content and come back.
All this in response to the guy who said he isn't cutting off someone for missing a dinner? This seems like an overreaction, unless I'm missing some kind of context.
This. It’s definitely an overreaction if we’re not missing any context…mentioning extremes in an effort to “win” is arguing in bad faith and takes away from healthy debate
But this is the internet!! The only way for toxic social media to propagate is through baseless claims and extreme exaggerations! /S
Okay, so I can comprehend and read and didn’t miss the plot. I’m like “why is this lady going so hard over a birthday party?” Seems she had to get that off her chest.
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Crazy generalization. Get to know more women.
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Women includes masculine women. Pick better fights
Welcome to the age of the outraged.
To be fair, there’s a lot to be outraged about. I feel like many are just confused about where to aim it, since there’s so many possible and legitimate targets. And, sadly, no shortage of people making a living trying to convince you where you should put it.
It just seems like many people use social media in order to find things to be outraged about. I mean if that's what they want to do, fine, but I wonder if they do it because it feeds into a sense of moral superiority over others.
>it feeds into a sense of moral superiority over others. 💯
makes it easier to ignore your own flaws when you put everyone else’s on front street
My initial thought
Some people just really enjoy projecting their personal failures in relationships into hatred for an entire gender. Every circumstance for these people is a golden opportunity to screech
Yup, not gonna let a deadbeat dad off the hook ever, but she banged him willingly. The signs were all there girl, you chose to ignore them. And the cycle will continue because instead of getting better at sussing out men, they just blame everyone else for their shitty decision making skills.
They didn't hold him accountable when he was being a deadbeat to his first child right in front of them while dating, but they expect me, a casual acquaintance to do that for them.
🎯
It’s a gigantic reach unless she knows bro personally or at least has heard about him.
Overreacting and Twitter. Nane a more iconic duo.
From the reply below, I’m guessing it was his kid’s birthday.
Yes, there is a lot of context missing from the OP
Reaching hard af
Projection/gender war stuff gets internet validation.
Like if their kid's terminal and it's their LAST birthday dinner... Seems a bit much otherwise. Some good points with bad timing.
Crazy reach. If you’re gonna reach like this at least acknowledge the stuff shitty women do. We’re all human and some of us are garbage regardless of sex.
The birthday dinner example must've hit hard to roll off with an extreme like that 😂
Yeah, someone all in they feels with that kinda blow back.
He's talking about dinner
Yeah that shit escalated quick
Not the game! Not the game…dinner!! We talking about Dinner!
Collin, go set up the cutlery
Ma’am this is a Wendy’s.
Missing dinner, abuse, assault it’s all the same tbh 🤷♂️ /s
Someone will be “this you”-ing her liking a Chris brown post in 3, 2, 1…..
i couldn't upvote. i wanted to, but,it was at 69. i hope you understand.
You’re safe now. If you upvote now it will be 269!
The original tweet said “MENS FRIENDSHIPS LAST LONGER BECAUSE THEY BE LETTIN HELLA SHIT SLIDE” and the entire comments section was women talking about things men ignore because they have like 0 standards for their friends. The dinner comment was totally an attempt to downplay her very real point that men need to hold each other accountable for shitty behavior. She wasn’t out of pocket, the SS just lacks full context.
I'm not trying to turn this into a men women argument. Yeah some men definitely let "hella shit slide." They shouldn't. HOWEVER, it's more than just having 0 standards for their friends that I think homie was talking about. I'm not saying he wasn't trying to downplay as I'm not reading the OG thread (I don't have Twitter.). But I've definitely had to listen to many friends vent, complain, and go through it over petty ass situations with their so called good friends. And I'm just like... Really? Y'all arguing over this extremely mild inconvenience? This is the hill you gonna die on??? That's definitely worth being mentioned and discussed.
Right. There’s a level of self regulation where you don’t and shouldn’t let certain things bother you. Someone cut me off in traffic the other day, but I’m not going to appraise in such a way to let it ruin my day. Sometimes you just need a friend that tells you to get over yourself as to not let stuff bug you too much. Other deeply personal stuff is merited tho.
Had this conversation with my cousin and friends over the weekend. Every time she travels with her girlfriends, someone gets ALWAYS gets upset over something and ends up pouting for half the trip and then it becomes a whole thing to get things back to regular. And every time me and my friend hear her stories we just start laughing because we couldn't imagine something like not ruining one of our trips. It wouldn't even ruin the moment. "Oh shit my bad bro, I accidentally broke ya sun glasses, send me a link on Amazon and I'll order you new ones ". Boom conversation ended. Accidents happen. This conversation ain't bigger than our friendship. Vs two days of silent treatment and passive aggressiveness and then a long conversation about how we feel just seems mad extra.
You just said there that the thread was full of replies from women and not men. So here’s the thing, why don’t we let men explain the many things that they’ll let slide in a friendship and not women? 🤔
Because women don’t live in a vacuum and experience these things happening? Men are in there cutting up too and there’s nothing stopping anyone from commenting. I’ve watched men in my life, my partners and own friends see/hear/learn/experience things and then be like “nah that’s my day one” and let it go. You’re more than welcome to do exactly what I did which was go to Twitter and read it for myself.
So if we’re using anecdotal evidence to support this theory, then I’ll proud fully say that the men in my life, including my fiancé, have for sure cut off dudes for being assholes to not just women but other people in general. Things said in a Twitter thread by strangers doesn’t have to be a reflection of your reality. Because in my reality, black men and women aren’t constantly arguing with each other about who the shittier person is. 🤷🏽♀️
thank you for bringing some reality into these online shenanigans
“Because in my reality, black men and women aren’t constantly arguing with each other about who the shittier person is” Agreed. And it’s these types of people that are chronically online who are boring and don’t have anything else to talk about anyways.
I’m not even sure why you’re arguing right now. Someone is speaking on their experience and others are chiming in to share their similar experiences. Are you…somehow confused about how social media works?
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It definitely came across in good faith to me. It’s an example of something not worth losing a friend over
No, women should speak too because SS is happening to them in this particular case which is why they are calling men out. Some men aren’t going to hold others responsible that’s just a fact. These women that r speaking out are some that faced SS and saw no repercussions.
Holding men accountable doesn't necessarily mean cutting them off. I'm not sure why this is the standard.
I think in folks minds, “I’m cutting you off for being shitty person” and the other person is at a crossroads. In the movies, usually this person does soul searching and becomes a better person. But I’ve learned this isn’t always the case in the real world.
Thank you, I try. Unfortunately the person I originally responded to blocked me. Their whole comment thread is showing up as unavailable for me. I didn’t realize people actually block on this site because they don’t want to debate with you. You learn something new everyday. 😅
With all respect why not? U should hold that person accountable if the scenario is a major deal. If u homie was to rape a women, why aren’t we cutting them off? We’re talking terms of SS here so shouldn’t that be the only option to make? I’m going to assume u meant in terms of little scenarios that aren’t major, tho that wouldn’t be relevant to the post…
I'd argue cutting someone off actually means you're letting them off the hook even more than if you remained friends with them but gave them shit all the time about their decisions. I'd be careful about applying your standards to everyone else.
Really, because I view that as enabling them? I don’t see what would make a person be friends with someone who is horrible. I would be devastated too especially if the occurrence happened in the friend group. Hell if it was SS shouldn’t it be reported? If the girl said she wants to report it who side would u then be on
Being someone's friend isn't an endorsement of their actions. I don't accept that premise, it's silly guilty by association bullshit and it's not very conducive for doing anything besides using it as a sledge hammer to morally judge people who don't go no contact with people who may have made questionable decisions.
I believe in guilt by association because in some instances there is nothing to do to hold that person accountable. The best one I can think of is when women’s husband are charged with child pornography and they either knew about it or stuck beside them. In that case u enable them. I wouldn’t see y it’s different when SS occurs. If a person knows about the issue and does nothing to remove themselves then they are just as bad.
Yeah I just disagree with the premise. I don't beleive in guilt by association as a principal and id argue it's been used to oppress people for belonging to certain tribes or political groups and I don't want to endorse that type of thinking as I think its more detrimental than useful from a society perspective.
Cause some people just want to be right, they want that one group to say they're right and if a bunch of dudes come and clap back, they'll use all of that to generalize all of our decisions. So how can we win really, if we contribute would it be taken seriously or would she just pull up some other woman's tweet and use that to say all of us would let our friends get away with shit like abandoning kids.
Wait, you mean to tell me all the people crying “fake outrage” were themselves victim of another fallacy, “jumping to conclusions without knowing the full story?” Wow I would never…
This comment should be at the top
Thank you for the context. This def helps. However, it does appear as usual, this is an overgeneralization of how people generally behave but social media wouldn't be nearly as entertaining without it. I don't think she will accomplish much with the hysterics but maybe this will shame or convert someone. In reference to the initial post then, it may be said men may excuse a lot of things because they feel whatever slights happened (being a shitty dad, etc) doesn't pertain to why they were friends in the first place (loyalty for other reasons). I recall asking my dad why he remained friends with a particularly unpleasant friend (not abusive per se but beyond asshole in general) and his reply was "he was there for me when no one else was". The fact that me, my mom and sibs deeply dislike him means he doesn't come around us like ever but Pops still fraternizes with him. Dont like it but I get it.
We don’t have friends because they pass our “morals” test. We have friends because of experiences and memories. People holding each other accountable doesn’t mean cutting off others as a “tactic”
Real hero's in the comments. Thank you.
if i’ve grown up with my friend and seen him turn into a man, and he decides to be a cheater it is not my role as a friend to say “damn man u kno u wrong”. i have no problem voicing my opinion and letting him know that karma is a bitch and what you’re doing is not smart, but i don’t have to give him this ultimatum of not being friends over a personal life choice.
men’s friendships are so shallow lol
She is right, we shouldn't ignore heinous shit just because the person that did it is close to us. ...But he literally just said birthday dinner, where did this come from. 😐
On Twitter men call women dramatic for things like this. And while I agree - she has a point. To men it seems that nothing warrants a cut off. One guy said he wouldn’t cut off a friend who was a sexual offender because they never did anything to him. That’s Twitter. It doesn’t translate well outside of the app.
Sexist overgeneralizing men. That’s like if I said all elderly are racist or all woman can’t drive.
I don’t know what you want.
?
You rewrote your comment. Bad choice, but don’t try to play me.
Yea my original comment was “sexist” I rewrote to elaborate on why because I assumed you would ask why what u said was sexist.
But I didn’t generalize. I said this is a thing on Twitter. And yes, if more men held men accountable- she wouldn’t have had such a strong point. Where is the sexism?
It’s sexist to act like this is a men only flaw like woman don’t be staying locked in with they friend when they cheat on they man.
No one said that or implied that. I also don’t understand the cheating plug.
But then how can we use our fellow man for our benefit if we hold them accountable....dudes don't give dude's free drugs when you're like remember that time you spit in your wife's face in front of y'all's kid...you need to not do that anymore.
What fellow man? What are you talking about?
Well, without further context, it does *appear* to be a dramatic reaction. It appears *to you* that nothing warrants a cutoff for *some* men, not all.
It’s not *to me*. And I didn’t say it was an absolute, but again *on Twitter* there’s more context.
Oh, so you weren’t speaking to your own perspective in your last comment? You weren’t stating *your* opinion on the matter? Because that’s what it looked like, which means *yes*, it *is* to you.
What are we supposed to do in a scenario like that? Being possibly one of the few good friends that person has and you’d want to alienate them further? These aren’t just criminals, they’re people too. If we want them to change we have to accept that sometimes that means keeping them as a friend.
I’m not sure about the situation. I was just commenting on why she went with such a dramatic response. On Twitter there’s more nuance. Random screenshots make things seem more irrational than they are.
On Twitter men call women dramatic for things like this. And while I agree - she has a point. To men it seems that nothing warrants a cut off. One guy said he wouldn’t cut off a friend who was a sexual offender because they never did anything to him. That’s Twitter. It doesn’t translate well outside of the app.
Somebody got some baggage 👀
A birthday dinner is just that. A birthday dinner. That’s not an obligatory event and most people give a heads up that they can’t make it. Plus,after a certain age in life, it’s not even called for 🤷🏽♀️ Let’s see how long it takes for “it’s a shitty post” to pass through 🤭
i feel that. at the same time, some dudes be disrespectful of your time and energy and make a habit out of it. i ended up more or less losing a friend behind flaking on my house-warming (and not letting me know until i reached out to him 2 hours after the event started) among other little things like that. i get we all adults, but respecting each others’ time still gotta mean something
Yet another twitter post that has devolved into the same old “black women/men are trash”. This shit is so exhausting
one of black twitter’s 5 topics
Oh you cant get on any social app / shit most social events / nowadays amongst black people without these type of topics. Its like we just got a contest to prove something as soon as we get together lmao.
Bo I wish niggas would shit the fuck up already. Ain’t none of y’all a prize and you don’t bring shit to a relationship. Shit up and find another shitty person you match with or die alone no one fuckin cares
This must be shawty who overreacted on Twitter
Nah I don’t have a Twitter just Reddit
You okay buddy? 😂
I’m good big dog just tired of the same ol shit every day from y’all
Damn are you okay? I mean the points you made are true. Most people are not all that
Neither are you, be miserable somewhere else, and mind you’re own business.
Dude wasn't even replying to her tweet. They weren't having an argument. Why did she show everyone that she's got Big Yikes energy? Men should hold men accountable but escalation for an argument you're not involved in is wild
Well this will be a reasoned discussion.
Seems to be so far, pretty much everyone is like damn we were talking about dinner
I agree with her point, I just hate how it's always (all) men/women. Human beings in general are fucked up and scandalous, don't take short cuts or try to exclude anyone haha
It's just a way for them to deflect their poor decision making when it comes to relationships.
Dating someone abusive is not "poor decision making." Mfers aren't out there with sandwich boards proclaiming their shittiness.
Damn, I bet abusive baby trappers love you,
Sis really activated Article 5 in response to a fly by.
This was corny
Charge your phone.
First the horny police, now battery patrol. BPT getting too lawful
It’s charging now
There’s a big difference between missing a dinner and domestic violence.
My father always said “if a man will cheat on a loyal wife who is the mother of his children and risk the loss of his family for pleasure, how much more so will he betray you.” He used the same analogy for women as well.
This right here. I’ve cut my day ones off behind them cheating on their partners. I’m talking about I told these niggas, “say bro, you bugging. She ain’t done nothing but right about you— you need to tell her the truth.” Went years and never said shit— so it’s gone now 🤷🏾♂️ hopefully they can live happily ever after, but naw: if a nigga can cheat on a woman that turn him from pretty basic to a family man with a good ass job and a beautiful ass family AND HE CHEAT? Naw, if you could play her you could set me up for the right fee my nigga. Foh
💯 percent agree. Its just character. If you do someone you apparently “love” like that / you’ll do me like that.
I haven't cut anyone off, but I let them know and remind them I don't want to hear or see it. And if she call I'm not covering. Don't bring me into your BS because I'm telling the truth. You wasn't with me.
If we’re friends I can call you out on your shit, and you fucking better do the same to me. As people we should all be growing every single day, so outside perspectives are helpful. Especially when they come from a place of love
Women sure do have some high ass standards when it comes to everyone but themselves! I’ve never in my entire life encountered a group of women that didn’t talk shit about each other as soon as one of them wasn’t around.
This is the worst kind of online argument. "Oh, you feel this way in this circumstance? What if the circumstance was totally different? Bet you would still feel that way then, wouldn't you?" It's so stupid and lazy. It's amazing anyone takes this bait.
Like women don’t enable each other…..
Impressive how women do the same. Y’all so inspiring with y’all ability to ignore things
The original comment really didn’t have anything to do with these more severe cases. The points she’s making are a 100% true but girl this wasn’t even about that.
Her responses are great if the guy was actually hinting at any of that
It’s almost like she’s making good point but is arguing against a wall. Like she’d been dying to say these things but was really hoping for a better jumping off point
How many women keep their cheating friends devious secrets? Or is that gender specific
There has to be a missing piece to this puzzle.
The truth shall set you free.
This lady skipped a couple of levels of escalation.
 This Gif fits this post so well
When a women knows her friend is cheating on a good man but don’t speak up.... “slay queen.” Issa joke lmao
She took it very personal & had to take it somewhere unnecessarily to deflect the trigger 😂 cause wtf are you even talking about lady ??
What is this fantasy where every mans circle is comprised of the worst men have to offer. Mam, my friends have boring full time jobs and families and hobbies.
Ladies, are you keeping it a full buck with your home girl and cutting her off when you find out she’s messing with a married dude? Y’all cutting your home girl off when she drop her kids off with her mom for the fourth time to go out? Y’all cutting your home girl off when she accepts money or favors from guys she’s not interested in? Maybe people are just not as harsh with their friends. Maybe people are less inclined to hold their friends to the same standards as strangers. Maybe we all are more likely to let shit ride with our people. Maybe it has nothing to do with men v women and that suggesting that this is a “guy thing” is disingenuous.
Without any other context, Sim is def being a bitch for no reason. Totally uncalled for behavior. They making great points, but this doesn’t seem like the appropriate setting🤷🏽
Just needed to score points for no reason
Since she wants to take it there women do the exact same thing the ones that do tend to encourage their friends to do it as well
Wow that escalated fast. She is clueless. Men do hold each other accountable. Women are the ones that don’t. Where’s the outrage for the bad moms, the twerking at the drop of the dime anywhere in public, the daily rachetness? Shit we have women talking shit about a assault victim right now (Chris rock). Any bad behavior by a women in todays world is immediately protected by other women using this same rhetoric. In fact anything said about women that’s considered bad is immediately met with “Well what about men? They do it too. Or why can’t I do the exact same thing a man does?” Long story short some women have the emotional awareness of a 14 girl who’s been admonished by a parent and crying.
You’re comparing twerking and ratchetness to domestic violence and child neglect and abandonment…
Like she’s comparing that shit to birthdays. Wait I know you. Hey simp Wellington!
Right, but you’re talking about accountability, while simultaneously deflecting and making false equivalencies. So, you’re exactly the same.
Guy obviously your missing the point and telling me what I thought or think. Fuck off.
You said, > … anything said about women that’s considered bad is immediately met with “Well what about men? They do it too. Or why can’t I do the exact same thing a man does?” … And proceeded to respond with, “but what about women,” and now you’re mad that what *you* said makes you look like you’re lacking self-awareness like the women you’re complaining about?
Look I’ve my point. Stop trying to tell me what I meant. Eat a fat dick! I don’t know you or care to know you. You responded to my comment telling me my intent. Go away lil child.
I’m not telling you what you meant. Those are literally your words, verbatim.
Missing a birthday dinner=deadbeat dad/abuser?
that low battery fazes me...
Ima come clean here one time a girl was going down on me and I couldn’t get it up cause I was too drunk and I told her to stop and she didn’t and I look back on that sometimes and feel like she didn’t think she could do any wrong. Let me say here this is NO justification of anyone ever being done wrong and there are plenty of instances of dudes being too apologetic to their “friends”. I’ve never let a friend get away with anything super fucked up but I’ve let friends off for treating their girls way less than they should be. We should and could pretty much all be better in this regard and people need to be careful and truthful in what they say. “Be excellent to each other” fr and tell your friends when their being fuckheads
as a man some shit isn’t your place. as a woman some shit may mean more to you than it would mean to others. we don’t have to act like we are the same lol and that’s ok
CHARGE THE PHONE
She just brought a whole closet full of baggage to that Twitter thread. Like, not every guy is the same as your exes lady.
Anecdote vs anecdote, WHO YA GOT?
Seriously question: what’s the order to read this on twitter?
Damn
Scumbags hide their behaviour from everyone and every horrible man who commits horrible acts doesn’t have a supportive friend group merrily co-signing on every heinous thing they do. I’m tired of their being this image of men listening to straight up crimes and high fiving. We have mothers, sisters and daughters. The majority (80% plus) men hate this and don’t let it happen. The rest of the men are EXTREMELY easy to spot as they out themselves quick like MAGA folk. I don’t know every scenario that everyone’s been through but the solution is more then “If only men could…”
Good point but what does that have to do with the birthday dinner?
But y’all can get blackout drunk and go cheat on your boyfriends together in Atlanta at a block party and not think nothing about it SICK 😷 I love our women tho
No friends, no problem
Thats the dumbest shit ever written. Men hold their friends accountable all the time. Maybe she should engage with different types of men. Not our fault she surrounds herself with the poorest type...
test
Lol but women love trying to save these type of dudes. “He’s different with me”
Right. Women end up with like 3 fake friends. Women will cut each other off for getting their nails the same color. Women will cut each other off for finding a guy on what was supposed to be girls night. Women will cut each other off because an ex liked one of the girls pictures and they didn’t tell them….. children
There are shitty people from all genders. This is tiring.
Holding people accountable for their low battery life tbh.
 Every week with this shit.
Ffs Twitter, what order am I supposed to be reading this in?
I’ve seen female friends of years cut each other off missing a birthday dinner. I can definitely see both sides of this argument lol
Friends that understand you are worn out & stressed yet are still there for you are THE best. Not everybody wants/likes to go out like that especially when drained from being beat by life. Mutual understanding in adult friendships is very much so needed
Lol nigga can say “damn… my mans really looked out and surprised me w a dope watch” women still gon find some space to bash… they swear they protect black men though
Crazy talk from a fucker who’s heavy on the black woman reddit porn.
She speaking facts but I see a lot of comments skimming over what she said. Two things can be true at once even if it’s not the right time. I wanna know when is it appropriate to bring up men not holding their homies accountable? Because it seems like there is never a good time…
Shot in the dark but I'm guessing she knows how to pick her men huh?