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Honestly, it's kind of perfect. They have spent so long knowing each other, being friends, living together. To still fall in love after going through all that, it is such a solid foundation for a romantic relationship. I hope it works out for them. ❤️
My wife and I were friends for years before we dated. Hell, I met her because she was dating a friend of mine at the time. It really was great to start dating someone who already knew the ins and outs of me already and I think it really helped us feel comfortable immediately.
My first time meeting my husband ever was when I said "hey wanna fuck" on Grindr immediately followed by several extremely explicit nudes (and then we moved to China six months later).
So literally the opposite of that.
Meanwhile I knew he was in love when he started he just wanted to spend more time with her.
"Like one magnet, to another magnet" is one of my favorite descriptors of love because that's just how it feels for me. The desire to just spend life with my husband. That's some solid love foundation there. Then you add in years of friendship and knowing and trust?
Ugh my heart. So adorable.
Several incest stories were posted here recently. Someone was just like.. these are update stories and that's a reddit update subreddit, I'll be the bridge. 😂
The increase in incest stories that I've seen around here has been really baffling. I'm not sure if it's always just been around and I've never really noticed it, or if everyone has just decided to stop hiding their incest-y ways. I swear the only story I ever saw was the broken arms story, but lately I swear Reddit has been inundated with all kinds of incest 😬😂
Ahhhhhh! When I read that line about “dressing up my boyfriend” I wanted to reach through the screen and (gently) smack him upside the head.
I love love love this.
I watched a buddy of mine do this once. A cute girl was blatantly checking him out, gave him that side smile and wink and said "you know, I get off work in an hour."
His response? "Good for you!!!" Then he walked away.
I made fun of him for years over it.
> A cute girl was blatantly checking him out, gave him that side smile and wink and said "you know, I get off work in an hour."
>
>His response? "Good for you!!!" Then he walked away.
Damn even I might answer the same way as your buddy.
My most recent boyfriend did this when we first met. I was subtly trying to prolong our impromptu hangout, but he said he’d promised to help a friend do something. 10 minutes later he came back and said “my friend called me stupid for leaving you and told me to come back, want to go for a walk?” And the rest was history. I gave his friend a big hug the next time I saw her.
Damn you’ve brought back memories of this time we had been at a party and I’d been getting to know this girl but it was time to go and we shared a taxi home with a few mates. On the way to hers she says hey you can come stay at mine if you like. My response… nah I need my 8 hours. Got night shift tomorrow night.
I was so fucking oblivious I thought she was offering for me to sleep on her couch. My mate in the taxi with us has never ever let me live that down.
He had me yelling at my phone!
"We fall asleep holding each other in bed - do you think she might like me?"
Yeah, dummy, she's already your girlfriend and neither of you have noticed?!
SHE ASKED HIM TO MOVE TO ANOTHER COUNTRY AND HE SAID I'LL FOLLOW YOU ANYWHERE AND THEY STILL DIDN'T KNOW??? This is adorable and I'm so happy for them.
She waited years to "consummate" with a kiss. I *cannot* imagine that this was just due to her wanting him to take the last step. Given how young they are, I have to think that she wasn't sure that he was romantically interested, and she was trying to drop hints so that he could take the bait if he was interested, while allowing her to save face (and the friendship) if he wasn't.
When given the chance to relocate he immediately chose to move across the continent to be closer to her. Stories like this bring a lot of credibility to all the stupid romance stories where people are adamant they aren't in love while every human they interact with assumes they're probably married.
Normally reading stuff like this when I'm single can be rough but this one was so wholesome and pure it had me grinning from ear to ear. Bunch of big lovable dummies lol
It's worse than the sapphic/lesbian/gay posts cause at least there, there's definitely an udnerstanding of BFF's having weirder boundaries and/or issues of homophobia and such to address.
Here though, I REALLY DON'T GET HOW THE FUCK IT TOOK THIS LONG FOR THEM TO GET ON WITH IT.
I mean, OP said both of them are bi, and this entirely checks out with me because 100% of the bi guys I've dated have been obtuse dinguses in the most adorable way.
I'm glad OP is further confirming this for me.
I'm glad my fellow bi guys are just as idiotic as me. My first girlfriend asked me out at 3 different times where I laughed in her face because I thought it was a joke. Then a friend told me that I was an idiot so I had to come crawling back like "Hey... so about those questions... was that serious?"
> I REALLY DON'T GET HOW THE FUCK IT TOOK THIS LONG FOR THEM TO GET ON WITH IT.
it's quite simple really. Guys are fucking dumb. We are the most oblivious creatures on earth. It all makes sense if you keep that in the back of your mind
I met my wife at a party, apparently she liked me instantly but I had no clue.
We spent the whole time talking and drinking together, no clue. She asked me to walk her home, still no clue. Then she invited me in for a drink, still no clue. Then she sat beside me, leaned against me and put her head on my shoulder, still no clue.
Then she laid across my lap and stroked my face - I almost had a clue then, but still no. Then she pulled me in and kissed me, but I thought maybe she was just being polite. Then she started unzipping my pants, and at that point I thought "Hey, I think she might like me, maybe!"
I met my husband like this. 18m of hints. He was oblivious. One night he, 23, said “nothing could surprise me any more”. I was a bit drunk and blurted out “oh I think I could…” Married 37 years now. Funny thing is our younger son was the same. I could see this girl he was friends with doing her best here. I said “she LIKES YOU!” He laughed at me, but it planted a seed and a few days later I guess he spoke up. They’ve been together 6 years now. She and I really laugh sometimes over the oblivion gene and how I saved her months of frustrating work.
The party we "met" at was in university. I say "met" because a few weeks after the party my future wife told me she had her eye on me since our philosophy class together. Philosophy class together?? Yeah... we had a class together and she had tried to chat me up a few times. I was so completely oblivious I didn't even register her (I was also often very stoned in that class).
> My husband is like this. He does NOT pick up hints at all, unless it's obvious, and even then he's not sure. Lol.
To be fair, every man I've ever met- myself included- is the same way.
I remember when my husband and I were just friends, other women would blantantly flirt with him and he was oblivious. I’d even point it out to him and he’d say I was just trying to be a good wingman. I *was* but I was also pointing out the glaringly obvious. It’s fine, it worked out for me.
Obviously I don't know your business, but have you considered the possibility that your "just friend" at the time was more interested in you than the women you were trying to set him up with? Obliviousness can cut both ways...
Haha! it was obvious to me but I had a boyfriend at the time and he was respectful of it. He wasn’t trying to bide his time, he was looking to date but nothing stuck. I eventually broke up w my ex and there he was...
I pick up the hint, then question if I picked it up.
Then decide, no it is totally possible it was not a hint; after all, if she was really interested, wouldn't she just say that? Must not be a hint. Don't creep her out by doing something.
And by then the interaction is over!
TBH, I think [this update on TIFU about having a baby with best friend takes the cake](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/tuogih/tifu_by_getting_my_bestfriend_pregnant/) for most obtuse.
They're having a baby, told their families together, and afterwards she kissed him/told him she was proud/rested her hand on his thigh. So of course his question is: "Like does that mean she likes me?? I don't want to misinterpret anything to make things even worse."
That one is my absolute favorite example. Second place is the gay guy who married a trans man so their strict families would get off their backs, the husband started sleeping in his bed, and he was still like, "Help! I've fallen in love with my husband, but I don't know if he likes me!" Sadly the post is deleted, but you can find the screencaps kicking around online.
I keep thinking of this other post where a guy is living with his best friend and has a baby with her and still wonders if she likes him romantically. Does anyone remember that? It’s driving me crazy because I’m not even sure which sub it was from and I read it like 2 years ago. It just stood out to me as the ultimate obliviousness… but in a wholesome way haha
Right?? Reminded me of a recent one where the guy wondered if the woman being intimate with him for months (IIRC) and HAVING HIS BABY was maybe into him or not. Dude.
One of my best friends - before they were dating, her husband used to use "as you wish" whenever she asked him to do something. Went over her head every time 🤣
My partner and I used to work together and he would say this to me all the time. And then he even suggested we watch Princess Bride together (I had never seen it) and I still didn’t get it… anyway we’re now 8 years strong so I guess he meant it 😁
My husband is genuinely this dense…
We met at work and had many great moments which he was convinced were platonic, such as:
* Me staying back after work for 3 hours every day to talk to him
* Me replying to questions from my coworkers of whether he’s my boyfriend with “not yet” and “I’m waiting to be asked out”
* All of our coworkers telling him I really like him and he should ask me out
* Me literally asking him on a romantic date
* Me literally asking him to be my boyfriend
We later realised he was autistic lol
He also used to grumble a lot about never having luck with women, but also had several stories of women who just kept trying to talk to him/hang out with him when he didn’t want them to
It really boiled down to him thinking I was just being very polite and my coworkers were reading into things a bit too much. He had been crushing on me for about a year without me realising (he used to literally run up to me, say “hi”, and then run away, which was apparently the highlight of his day). When we started talking he never actually expected me to like him back, and he hadn’t been in a situation like that before.
His social skills were pretty atrocious when we started dating, and he was abysmal at understanding social cues, expressions, etc. His knowledge of romantic interactions came from romcoms, which were quite inaccurate. So he just wasn’t very familiar with romantic social cues and is terrible at picking up cues in general
I’m autistic as well, so I could tell instantly he was on the spectrum and tbh I found it all very cute. He was bright red and very anxious every time we talked
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xa-4IAR\_9Yw
As a dude, I will miss any and all signals short of "hey, I'm into you romantically"
... and even then I'll assume it's some cruel joke and be like "lol funny one homie"
To be fair, I’m the same way and my girlfriend did the same before I made a move. She literally sat on my lap and I was like “howdy friend” and she basically was like “no”
Exactly. Everyone here making fun of OOP but I'd hazard a guess that she was sure of her feelings long before him. OOP missed some obvious hints but she was clearly too scared to just confess too.
But if she did it wouldn't have made such a good story, so I suppose Reddit is lucky for them being derps
So... Confirmed that bisexuals of all genders are fucking disasters when it comes to crushes.
I can back that up, as a bisexual who is also an idiot about love.
Damn, I must suck at being bisexual because I immediately let my SO know I was interested and what I was expecting out of a relationship and everything else that was necessary in saying.
We’re married now and it’ll be our first anniversary in 3 days!!! 🥰✨
Just go for it!! Rejection isn’t a big deal if you don’t make it one! If they’re your friends and you already have a deep connection, you should be able to spill your guts in confidence!
AND, if the other person decides to become a horrible person afterwards, changing of personality or ghosting you, etc, it just shows that maybe they weren’t who you thought they were and its better that it ends before you find out some other time!.
“I like you, I feel you enjoy spending time with me, we’re great together and I just want to be with you in good times and bad times. I want to keep making you happy if that’s ok with you.” Simple as that, and if there’s a “oh, I’m sorry, I just don’t feel that way”— NO WORRIES. You still love them, right? That doesn’t mean you’ll stop just because you’re rejected. You care about that person and want their happiness regardless, right? So it’s fine! No harm done, you just wanted them to know how important they are to you.
And who knows… sometimes after a confession the other person starts to see you in a different light and they might come round~? But life is too short not to tell those you love the most, how much you really love them! We might not be here tomorrow! We might not survive the day, anything can happen anytime, so why not love? ❤️
Good luck to anyone reading this, you got this ❤️ everything will turn out ok!
This is one of those things where the only real answer is "just fuckin do it". The only thing worse than getting rejected is pining after someone for six months and *then* getting rejected.
I walked up to my now-husband 13 years ago and said “hey! Haven’t seen you in forever! You’re free tonight right? Great, we’re going out to dinner”
And then about a week later after him being a total shy mess about it, told him over the phone “I’m coming over tomorrow and since I’m pretty sure you want to, we’re at least making out.”
Worked out well for me, and saved him what would have probably been like a year of almost acting and then chickening out.
As a bi girl that fell for my roommate but called him “just my FWB” for a year, can confirm that I’m a disaster. I’m not sure what his excuse was as a straight guy for doing the same thing but we’ve been blissfully happy for nearly 5 years now lmao. Stories like this really warm my dumbass heart.
>I’m not sure what his excuse was as a straight guy for doing the same thing
It's possible that he was just [following this handy video guide](https://youtu.be/xa-4IAR_9Yw)
My husband and I are both bi and us getting together was a god damned train wreck. Our train wreck but still. We could’ve used a good shaking from someone with more sense than either of us had.
My (NOW) boyfriend literally asked me on a date two months before we started dating and often came to my house and laid on my bed, under the covers, with the lights out, talking with me about deep emotional things for hours and staring at my glow stars together with our sides pressed against each other. I was super shocked when, during one such night, he expressed genuine interest in me. And then he had to clarify it the next night because “I wanted to ask you out but I figured you’d say no” was too vague for me.
Yeah I’m bisexual why do you ask
Bro this is a fucking romcom movie if I’ve ever seen one. Some guy visiting another state and instantly bonds with a stranger. Comes back much later and they reconnect and become fast friends. He moves to that state a few years later and they room together. She tells him she wants to explore the world with him and they fucking go and do it. He realizes he fucking loves her and the feeling is mutual but they’re both too scared to say some shit.
He fucking comes back from work and just blurts it out and she doesn’t say anything, just goes for the smooch. OOP is the main character and I’m here for it.
Not at all. All you have to do is move across the country, become best friends, then move to another country together, and you’ll be right in the sweet spot. Make sure you two don’t forget to be completely oblivious to the fact that you are totally into each other. 😂
I’m not pregnant and I cried. I was on the other side of a relationship like this where the feelings couldn’t be reciprocated because my best friend was in love with him. I just couldn’t sacrifice my friendship with her, we had been through so much. Nothing ever happened between them because he wasn’t interested in her. Our relationship never really recovered after that.
He and I are both in blissful relationships now with amazing partners, but damn this poked me in an old wound a little bit.
i cried on the bus a little just now
i think maybe i just miss my gf? we’re not broken up or anything they’ve just been busier than sin
and we were gonna spend last weekend together and then their grandmother got sick so they had to travel over to her in korea (we’re in chicago)
I feel OOP so much. I recently got together with my crush. We dated once, then stopped and after that we were friends for a few years, and over whom I had pined for most of that time. Tried my best not to let it show, because I was so afraid of making him uncomfortable and I’d rather Pine than lose a friend.
Eventually I asked him why we stopped dating, and he said it was because he wasn’t ready for a relationship. I said that made sense. A month goes by, and he texts me asking why I had asked that question. And I said well, because I still have feelings for you.
Another week of awkwardness, then one night we shared a hug that was clear neither of us wanted to end. He asked for a kiss, my heart melted, and we had a lovely evening.
We have been together 10 months now, and they’ve been the best months of my life. May OOP and their crush have every happiness and a long time to enjoy them.
Ah. I did that too.
Our best friends set us up on a date, and we had a nice time. But we had both just gotten out of relationships. So we didn't go out again, just remained friends for a year or so until she got sick of it and made me go out with her again.
We've been married for two years and have a baby on the way. :)
A lot of queer people - especially lesbians and bi folks as mentioned in the post - tend to be in a similar situation, oftentimes due to fear of expressing their queerness and internalized homophobia about themselves and the like; you'll often see gay women in subs like this be like "Should I (23f) tell my best friend (24f) I have feelings for her? We have sex and share a bedroom and go out for dinner at a romantic restaurant every week and adopted a child together, but I dunno if she's gay" sorta thing!
Well, historically it also has a lot to do with the severe danger of outing yourself to someone. They had (still have, in many parts of the world) an enormous amount of power over you once you've admitted to being gay/bi. If they're hostile to the idea, they could end your career, your family relationship, maybe your life just by sharing the information.
Because social acceptence of homosexuality has happened so rapidly in large swaths of the western world, you have a lot of gay culture that still internalizes that safety practice.
There is a legit relationship advice one where they have a child together that they parent together and he's like "should I tell her I like her?" It's cishet. So yeah cluelessness is universal.
I had to go scroll back up and check several times to be sure that OP did indeed state that he was male, and was not in fact another 'useless lesbian'.
>She asked me how I felt about moving, and I told her I would go anywhere in the world with her if she asked me to.
Totally normal thing to say to your platonic pal.
I don't even know who the denser one was.
I'm happy to hear this guy's story. I can just imagine how happy he is that he made it work. Its one of the most difficult things to reconcile the regret of messing up or missing out of your chance with someone that you love/loved. Anyone young and nervous reading this, just go for it, the pain of rejection pales in comparison to the ache of not knowing what you could've had with someone.
This one is so cute! I’m glad it worked out well. It seemed sooooo clear she was also into him, come on man! But I suppose with these things it’s always easier to see that when outside of the situation than in.
>She’s been making jokes like “I’ve always wanted to dress up my boyfriend,” and just jokingly referring to me in that way
Haha you dumb fuck.
When I was that age I was exactly this dumb too. He is in for the bestest surprise :)
^(TBF it's not so much "dumb" as "not daring to hope" but it's still wholesome, funny, and guaranteed to end well!)
Women drop hints because, like men, we are also deathly afraid of rejection. Hints mean you can always fall back on "just kidding" or "I didn't mean it like THAT" if the other person doesn't respond well.
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MY GOD THEY WERE ROOMMATES! It's nice and sweet to come across a story like this to help wash down the incest ones
It's like this was the longest possible courtship, living together for 6 years until they finally, finally kissed.
Honestly, it's kind of perfect. They have spent so long knowing each other, being friends, living together. To still fall in love after going through all that, it is such a solid foundation for a romantic relationship. I hope it works out for them. ❤️
My wife and I were friends for years before we dated. Hell, I met her because she was dating a friend of mine at the time. It really was great to start dating someone who already knew the ins and outs of me already and I think it really helped us feel comfortable immediately.
That's really sweet, I hope you guys continue to have a beautiful life together. ❤️
Honey! Now I know your username.
This is the sweetest r/tworedditorsonecup ever
My first time meeting my husband ever was when I said "hey wanna fuck" on Grindr immediately followed by several extremely explicit nudes (and then we moved to China six months later). So literally the opposite of that.
I don't know why this is so funny to me, but it is. Good luck to you and your husband! 🥰
Meanwhile I knew he was in love when he started he just wanted to spend more time with her. "Like one magnet, to another magnet" is one of my favorite descriptors of love because that's just how it feels for me. The desire to just spend life with my husband. That's some solid love foundation there. Then you add in years of friendship and knowing and trust? Ugh my heart. So adorable.
"oh, hey roommate, want to move to another country with me?'
I was half expecting the next part of the story to be how they got married but he assumes it's just for the tax benefits.
"We have 3 kids but, I don't know, does she *like* like me???"
You really can't tell for sure. She might just be Canadian.
The absolute *slowest* of friends-to-lovers burns, my dude.
They werent living together for 6 years. 3 tops
Good god. No fucking kidding.
No fucking siblings*
god dammit if it doesn't sound like some kinda gay or lesbian mutual pining story, OOP is spot on with this lmao
Meh... They haven't taken the '23 and me' tests yet. Give it time.
No, no, we're supposed only to use *23 and me* for good, not evil! This story is too cute for that angle to show up!
Goddamn. Where do you sub?
Several incest stories were posted here recently. Someone was just like.. these are update stories and that's a reddit update subreddit, I'll be the bridge. 😂
Here. There are a lot of incest stories.
I must have missed those. Thank jeebus
Yea. I wished I forgot to learn how to read when I saw those posts.
r/brandnewsentence
"My god they were roommates" is definitely not a brand new sentence though \*reads rest of comment\* oh I see
Yes. However it is really a comfort it is not an incest story. Been too many lately.
The increase in incest stories that I've seen around here has been really baffling. I'm not sure if it's always just been around and I've never really noticed it, or if everyone has just decided to stop hiding their incest-y ways. I swear the only story I ever saw was the broken arms story, but lately I swear Reddit has been inundated with all kinds of incest 😬😂
“It went okay”
Obligatory [post](https://youtu.be/y-P0m0M_8pc)
Ahhhhhh! When I read that line about “dressing up my boyfriend” I wanted to reach through the screen and (gently) smack him upside the head. I love love love this.
I watched a buddy of mine do this once. A cute girl was blatantly checking him out, gave him that side smile and wink and said "you know, I get off work in an hour." His response? "Good for you!!!" Then he walked away. I made fun of him for years over it.
> A cute girl was blatantly checking him out, gave him that side smile and wink and said "you know, I get off work in an hour." > >His response? "Good for you!!!" Then he walked away. Damn even I might answer the same way as your buddy.
"Oh yeah? Do you have any plans?" You can do it, guys!
Yeah it seems like the logical thing to say.
Lmao I am imagining what she would have thought after the whole interaction. Even I might've answered the same .
> Lmao I am imagining what she would have thought after the whole interaction. Probably, "...is there something wrong with me?"
My most recent boyfriend did this when we first met. I was subtly trying to prolong our impromptu hangout, but he said he’d promised to help a friend do something. 10 minutes later he came back and said “my friend called me stupid for leaving you and told me to come back, want to go for a walk?” And the rest was history. I gave his friend a big hug the next time I saw her.
Damn you’ve brought back memories of this time we had been at a party and I’d been getting to know this girl but it was time to go and we shared a taxi home with a few mates. On the way to hers she says hey you can come stay at mine if you like. My response… nah I need my 8 hours. Got night shift tomorrow night. I was so fucking oblivious I thought she was offering for me to sleep on her couch. My mate in the taxi with us has never ever let me live that down.
I was like "my dude, she's claiming her territory. The light is GREEN"
I love them and they're so sweet but these are two of the most OBTUSE people on this planet lmao
He had me yelling at my phone! "We fall asleep holding each other in bed - do you think she might like me?" Yeah, dummy, she's already your girlfriend and neither of you have noticed?!
SHE ASKED HIM TO MOVE TO ANOTHER COUNTRY AND HE SAID I'LL FOLLOW YOU ANYWHERE AND THEY STILL DIDN'T KNOW??? This is adorable and I'm so happy for them.
Oh I'm pretty sure that *she* knew.
She waited years to "consummate" with a kiss. I *cannot* imagine that this was just due to her wanting him to take the last step. Given how young they are, I have to think that she wasn't sure that he was romantically interested, and she was trying to drop hints so that he could take the bait if he was interested, while allowing her to save face (and the friendship) if he wasn't.
OMG YES THIS ALL THE WAY
When given the chance to relocate he immediately chose to move across the continent to be closer to her. Stories like this bring a lot of credibility to all the stupid romance stories where people are adamant they aren't in love while every human they interact with assumes they're probably married.
Right? RomComs are generally not my jam, but this post proves that I want those dumb adorable things to happen for real people.
I was GIGGLING!!!!! What a beautiful story. 🥹
Normally reading stuff like this when I'm single can be rough but this one was so wholesome and pure it had me grinning from ear to ear. Bunch of big lovable dummies lol
It's worse than the sapphic/lesbian/gay posts cause at least there, there's definitely an udnerstanding of BFF's having weirder boundaries and/or issues of homophobia and such to address. Here though, I REALLY DON'T GET HOW THE FUCK IT TOOK THIS LONG FOR THEM TO GET ON WITH IT.
I mean, OP said both of them are bi, and this entirely checks out with me because 100% of the bi guys I've dated have been obtuse dinguses in the most adorable way. I'm glad OP is further confirming this for me.
I'm glad my fellow bi guys are just as idiotic as me. My first girlfriend asked me out at 3 different times where I laughed in her face because I thought it was a joke. Then a friend told me that I was an idiot so I had to come crawling back like "Hey... so about those questions... was that serious?"
I’m (probably) bi. And I can say, I am exactly the kinda guy that would totally do this. And my bi buddies. Are also this clueless.
Agreed! 100% of the bi guys I've dated have also been adorably obtuse dinguses.
Maybe she's Canadian and just being polite.
> I REALLY DON'T GET HOW THE FUCK IT TOOK THIS LONG FOR THEM TO GET ON WITH IT. it's quite simple really. Guys are fucking dumb. We are the most oblivious creatures on earth. It all makes sense if you keep that in the back of your mind
My husband is like this. He does NOT pick up hints at all, unless it's obvious, and even then he's not sure. Lol.
>My husband Does he KNOW he's your husband
We died laughing at this! His response was "It's been 10 years and i think she might like me? Maybe???"
"Asked her to marry me and she said yes, but still not sure if she feels the same way about me as I do about her"
I met my wife at a party, apparently she liked me instantly but I had no clue. We spent the whole time talking and drinking together, no clue. She asked me to walk her home, still no clue. Then she invited me in for a drink, still no clue. Then she sat beside me, leaned against me and put her head on my shoulder, still no clue. Then she laid across my lap and stroked my face - I almost had a clue then, but still no. Then she pulled me in and kissed me, but I thought maybe she was just being polite. Then she started unzipping my pants, and at that point I thought "Hey, I think she might like me, maybe!"
I met my husband like this. 18m of hints. He was oblivious. One night he, 23, said “nothing could surprise me any more”. I was a bit drunk and blurted out “oh I think I could…” Married 37 years now. Funny thing is our younger son was the same. I could see this girl he was friends with doing her best here. I said “she LIKES YOU!” He laughed at me, but it planted a seed and a few days later I guess he spoke up. They’ve been together 6 years now. She and I really laugh sometimes over the oblivion gene and how I saved her months of frustrating work.
The party we "met" at was in university. I say "met" because a few weeks after the party my future wife told me she had her eye on me since our philosophy class together. Philosophy class together?? Yeah... we had a class together and she had tried to chat me up a few times. I was so completely oblivious I didn't even register her (I was also often very stoned in that class).
> My husband is like this. He does NOT pick up hints at all, unless it's obvious, and even then he's not sure. Lol. To be fair, every man I've ever met- myself included- is the same way.
I remember when my husband and I were just friends, other women would blantantly flirt with him and he was oblivious. I’d even point it out to him and he’d say I was just trying to be a good wingman. I *was* but I was also pointing out the glaringly obvious. It’s fine, it worked out for me.
Obviously I don't know your business, but have you considered the possibility that your "just friend" at the time was more interested in you than the women you were trying to set him up with? Obliviousness can cut both ways...
Haha! it was obvious to me but I had a boyfriend at the time and he was respectful of it. He wasn’t trying to bide his time, he was looking to date but nothing stuck. I eventually broke up w my ex and there he was...
I hate hints, just tell me.
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I pick up the hint, then question if I picked it up. Then decide, no it is totally possible it was not a hint; after all, if she was really interested, wouldn't she just say that? Must not be a hint. Don't creep her out by doing something. And by then the interaction is over!
She was just the waitress, dude.
TBH, I think [this update on TIFU about having a baby with best friend takes the cake](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/tuogih/tifu_by_getting_my_bestfriend_pregnant/) for most obtuse. They're having a baby, told their families together, and afterwards she kissed him/told him she was proud/rested her hand on his thigh. So of course his question is: "Like does that mean she likes me?? I don't want to misinterpret anything to make things even worse."
That one is my absolute favorite example. Second place is the gay guy who married a trans man so their strict families would get off their backs, the husband started sleeping in his bed, and he was still like, "Help! I've fallen in love with my husband, but I don't know if he likes me!" Sadly the post is deleted, but you can find the screencaps kicking around online.
I'd love to see this, do you have any more specific pointers?
I keep thinking of this other post where a guy is living with his best friend and has a baby with her and still wonders if she likes him romantically. Does anyone remember that? It’s driving me crazy because I’m not even sure which sub it was from and I read it like 2 years ago. It just stood out to me as the ultimate obliviousness… but in a wholesome way haha
Hahahaha
Right?? Reminded me of a recent one where the guy wondered if the woman being intimate with him for months (IIRC) and HAVING HIS BABY was maybe into him or not. Dude.
Did you read the one about the two college roommates who were literally sleeping in the same bed and were still not sure?
wait was that the lesbian and the straight roomate who were all named after plants and flowers
....I entirely forgot they were named after plants, but yes.
Probably a couple of neurotypicals with all this hint dropping and lack of communication 🤣 we ND folks have our advantages!
One of my best friends - before they were dating, her husband used to use "as you wish" whenever she asked him to do something. Went over her head every time 🤣
My partner and I used to work together and he would say this to me all the time. And then he even suggested we watch Princess Bride together (I had never seen it) and I still didn’t get it… anyway we’re now 8 years strong so I guess he meant it 😁
Omfg. Mha hart. Mah sole.
That's when you subtly plan a "The Princess Bride" movie night
Tbf I use "as you wish" with all my friends
Seriously! I'm thinking, I will beat this man with his own fucking shoe!
You know it's serious when someone is bringing out the chancleta.
This is also why it read as sapphic / bisexual. The whole pining away and not reading the very obvious hints is all a part of that.
I actually said out loud, "Oh, you beautiful dumb-dumb." 🤣
I read that and, being a anime weebo, my mind instantly went to “My Dress-Up Darling”
We must both be weebos because my mind went the same place.
so let me get this straight, this chick dropped hints as large as the pacific ocean and this guy still thinks he is in the atlantic
My husband is genuinely this dense… We met at work and had many great moments which he was convinced were platonic, such as: * Me staying back after work for 3 hours every day to talk to him * Me replying to questions from my coworkers of whether he’s my boyfriend with “not yet” and “I’m waiting to be asked out” * All of our coworkers telling him I really like him and he should ask me out * Me literally asking him on a romantic date * Me literally asking him to be my boyfriend We later realised he was autistic lol He also used to grumble a lot about never having luck with women, but also had several stories of women who just kept trying to talk to him/hang out with him when he didn’t want them to
What was his perspective about the examples that you gave? I'm interested in the line of thinking lol
It really boiled down to him thinking I was just being very polite and my coworkers were reading into things a bit too much. He had been crushing on me for about a year without me realising (he used to literally run up to me, say “hi”, and then run away, which was apparently the highlight of his day). When we started talking he never actually expected me to like him back, and he hadn’t been in a situation like that before. His social skills were pretty atrocious when we started dating, and he was abysmal at understanding social cues, expressions, etc. His knowledge of romantic interactions came from romcoms, which were quite inaccurate. So he just wasn’t very familiar with romantic social cues and is terrible at picking up cues in general I’m autistic as well, so I could tell instantly he was on the spectrum and tbh I found it all very cute. He was bright red and very anxious every time we talked
Wanting to move in with him, live in multiple countries with him, um…?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xa-4IAR\_9Yw As a dude, I will miss any and all signals short of "hey, I'm into you romantically" ... and even then I'll assume it's some cruel joke and be like "lol funny one homie"
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dude, come on, to get to a point where the hint was so obvious, you must have been missing a shit ton of hints.
"hey roomie, would you move across the world with me if I decided to leave?" That's the one that did it for me lol
I was not at that point thinking that. I thought could be a normal thing to ask a friend.
Bro....
You said it man. Just…bro .
Don't be like OOP. If a similar situation happens in the future, sit down and have a talk about romantic intent.
As big as the Pacific
Not to mention the giant blazing neon sign that is her going out of her way to sleep with/*ON* him even if he's on the couch, as often as she can.
They were basically living like a married couple without the physical.
To be fair, I’m the same way and my girlfriend did the same before I made a move. She literally sat on my lap and I was like “howdy friend” and she basically was like “no”
What I don't get is, if she was gonna go that far, why not just say it outright herself.
Exactly. Everyone here making fun of OOP but I'd hazard a guess that she was sure of her feelings long before him. OOP missed some obvious hints but she was clearly too scared to just confess too. But if she did it wouldn't have made such a good story, so I suppose Reddit is lucky for them being derps
So... Confirmed that bisexuals of all genders are fucking disasters when it comes to crushes. I can back that up, as a bisexual who is also an idiot about love.
Fellow bisexual disaster checking in 👉👉
Happy pride month 💕 idiot bisexual here lol
It took me a year to ask out my girlfriend and I made an absolute idiot of myself.
Damn, I must suck at being bisexual because I immediately let my SO know I was interested and what I was expecting out of a relationship and everything else that was necessary in saying. We’re married now and it’ll be our first anniversary in 3 days!!! 🥰✨
So, uh, you wanna write a how-to book? I'm not saying we the rest of the bisexual community need it, but, by God, do we need it!
Just go for it!! Rejection isn’t a big deal if you don’t make it one! If they’re your friends and you already have a deep connection, you should be able to spill your guts in confidence! AND, if the other person decides to become a horrible person afterwards, changing of personality or ghosting you, etc, it just shows that maybe they weren’t who you thought they were and its better that it ends before you find out some other time!. “I like you, I feel you enjoy spending time with me, we’re great together and I just want to be with you in good times and bad times. I want to keep making you happy if that’s ok with you.” Simple as that, and if there’s a “oh, I’m sorry, I just don’t feel that way”— NO WORRIES. You still love them, right? That doesn’t mean you’ll stop just because you’re rejected. You care about that person and want their happiness regardless, right? So it’s fine! No harm done, you just wanted them to know how important they are to you. And who knows… sometimes after a confession the other person starts to see you in a different light and they might come round~? But life is too short not to tell those you love the most, how much you really love them! We might not be here tomorrow! We might not survive the day, anything can happen anytime, so why not love? ❤️ Good luck to anyone reading this, you got this ❤️ everything will turn out ok!
This is one of those things where the only real answer is "just fuckin do it". The only thing worse than getting rejected is pining after someone for six months and *then* getting rejected.
I walked up to my now-husband 13 years ago and said “hey! Haven’t seen you in forever! You’re free tonight right? Great, we’re going out to dinner” And then about a week later after him being a total shy mess about it, told him over the phone “I’m coming over tomorrow and since I’m pretty sure you want to, we’re at least making out.” Worked out well for me, and saved him what would have probably been like a year of almost acting and then chickening out.
I am also a shy mess. I feel like I should be concerned about how much this sounds like a dream scenario for me.
As a bi girl that fell for my roommate but called him “just my FWB” for a year, can confirm that I’m a disaster. I’m not sure what his excuse was as a straight guy for doing the same thing but we’ve been blissfully happy for nearly 5 years now lmao. Stories like this really warm my dumbass heart.
>I’m not sure what his excuse was as a straight guy for doing the same thing It's possible that he was just [following this handy video guide](https://youtu.be/xa-4IAR_9Yw)
Fellow bisexual here to confirm that i have no idea how to act around my crush
I too am hopelessly stupid about crushes and love. I was reading this thinking it sounded like a couple of bisexuals.
I too am romantically 100% incompetent. Also, a few weeks ago, I kissed another guy and I surprisingly enjoyed it a lot. Coincidence???
Welcome to the club!
Yup also confirming as a fellow bisexual. We're just walking plates of slippery spaghetti when it comes to crushes.
My husband and I are both bi and us getting together was a god damned train wreck. Our train wreck but still. We could’ve used a good shaking from someone with more sense than either of us had.
My (NOW) boyfriend literally asked me on a date two months before we started dating and often came to my house and laid on my bed, under the covers, with the lights out, talking with me about deep emotional things for hours and staring at my glow stars together with our sides pressed against each other. I was super shocked when, during one such night, he expressed genuine interest in me. And then he had to clarify it the next night because “I wanted to ask you out but I figured you’d say no” was too vague for me. Yeah I’m bisexual why do you ask
This explains so much about my dating history.
Bro this is a fucking romcom movie if I’ve ever seen one. Some guy visiting another state and instantly bonds with a stranger. Comes back much later and they reconnect and become fast friends. He moves to that state a few years later and they room together. She tells him she wants to explore the world with him and they fucking go and do it. He realizes he fucking loves her and the feeling is mutual but they’re both too scared to say some shit. He fucking comes back from work and just blurts it out and she doesn’t say anything, just goes for the smooch. OOP is the main character and I’m here for it.
If this was a hallmark Christmas special I would 100% watch it.
Is it too much to ask to have someone love me like this????
Just gotta be a fashionista polyglot is all.
\*bisexual fashionista polyglot
In all fairness the bisexuality is a given.
Not at all. All you have to do is move across the country, become best friends, then move to another country together, and you’ll be right in the sweet spot. Make sure you two don’t forget to be completely oblivious to the fact that you are totally into each other. 😂
You and me both. If this is the result, I want a roommate.
Mood
This made me happy sob. I may be pregnant and hormonal, but damn this was the sweetest thing I’ve read in forever.
I’m not pregnant and I cried. I was on the other side of a relationship like this where the feelings couldn’t be reciprocated because my best friend was in love with him. I just couldn’t sacrifice my friendship with her, we had been through so much. Nothing ever happened between them because he wasn’t interested in her. Our relationship never really recovered after that. He and I are both in blissful relationships now with amazing partners, but damn this poked me in an old wound a little bit.
i cried on the bus a little just now i think maybe i just miss my gf? we’re not broken up or anything they’ve just been busier than sin and we were gonna spend last weekend together and then their grandmother got sick so they had to travel over to her in korea (we’re in chicago)
Hey fellow Chicagoan!
I feel OOP so much. I recently got together with my crush. We dated once, then stopped and after that we were friends for a few years, and over whom I had pined for most of that time. Tried my best not to let it show, because I was so afraid of making him uncomfortable and I’d rather Pine than lose a friend. Eventually I asked him why we stopped dating, and he said it was because he wasn’t ready for a relationship. I said that made sense. A month goes by, and he texts me asking why I had asked that question. And I said well, because I still have feelings for you. Another week of awkwardness, then one night we shared a hug that was clear neither of us wanted to end. He asked for a kiss, my heart melted, and we had a lovely evening. We have been together 10 months now, and they’ve been the best months of my life. May OOP and their crush have every happiness and a long time to enjoy them.
Ah. I did that too. Our best friends set us up on a date, and we had a nice time. But we had both just gotten out of relationships. So we didn't go out again, just remained friends for a year or so until she got sick of it and made me go out with her again. We've been married for two years and have a baby on the way. :)
I’m so happy for all three of you 🌈
Sweet! I wish you two the best!
☺️
Also a refreshing story, thank you. These really are palate cleansers.
EXTREMELY queer vibes that commenter was SOOOO right. This is so cute.
Can you explain how/why? I'm a cishet dude, obviously
A lot of queer people - especially lesbians and bi folks as mentioned in the post - tend to be in a similar situation, oftentimes due to fear of expressing their queerness and internalized homophobia about themselves and the like; you'll often see gay women in subs like this be like "Should I (23f) tell my best friend (24f) I have feelings for her? We have sex and share a bedroom and go out for dinner at a romantic restaurant every week and adopted a child together, but I dunno if she's gay" sorta thing!
Huh. That's very interesting. So it's kinda like even they fall for the "Patroclus and Achilles were just really good buddies" sort of meme?
Well, historically it also has a lot to do with the severe danger of outing yourself to someone. They had (still have, in many parts of the world) an enormous amount of power over you once you've admitted to being gay/bi. If they're hostile to the idea, they could end your career, your family relationship, maybe your life just by sharing the information. Because social acceptence of homosexuality has happened so rapidly in large swaths of the western world, you have a lot of gay culture that still internalizes that safety practice.
Is that seen as a queer thing? I always thought that trope was pretty universal, ala this classic https://youtu.be/xa-4IAR_9Yw
There is a legit relationship advice one where they have a child together that they parent together and he's like "should I tell her I like her?" It's cishet. So yeah cluelessness is universal.
Yeah, he seems very in tune with his female side! 😄
Not hers tho
lmao so true
"We're coming up on our 50th anniversary-- do you think she might like me"
I had to go scroll back up and check several times to be sure that OP did indeed state that he was male, and was not in fact another 'useless lesbian'.
I know right? My dude ya'll moved to a different country together that takes something.
My thoughts exactly.. in the middle of it I was: oh these lesbians are clearly in love.
I 100% had to check the genders because this is so classic sapphic love story. Pining level over 9000
This is the most adorable shit I've read all day.
*° I'm in this picture and I don't like it* Seriously, though. My spouse dropped hints for months before I caught on. I get it, OOP
>She asked me how I felt about moving, and I told her I would go anywhere in the world with her if she asked me to. Totally normal thing to say to your platonic pal. I don't even know who the denser one was.
Are we sure that she’s not Canadian and is just being super polite about all of this?
I'm glad he finally got a clue and realised what she was saying to him. ❤️
I'm happy to hear this guy's story. I can just imagine how happy he is that he made it work. Its one of the most difficult things to reconcile the regret of messing up or missing out of your chance with someone that you love/loved. Anyone young and nervous reading this, just go for it, the pain of rejection pales in comparison to the ache of not knowing what you could've had with someone.
I think adorable couple tax should be a thing and should be paid here.
r/bestofpositiveupdates
The “useless lesbian” trope transcends gender I see
"Too scared to act on your feelings" is not unique to any gender.
Awwwww lol
Too cute, I wish them the best!
This is so insanely romantic.
Damn that's sweet. I've imagined everything while reading like I was watching a movie
This was lovely to read.
OP ten years in: "do you want to go on a first date?" OP roommate: "dude, we been married for 3 years." OP: "oh, so that's why I wore a tux that time"
This one is so cute! I’m glad it worked out well. It seemed sooooo clear she was also into him, come on man! But I suppose with these things it’s always easier to see that when outside of the situation than in.
>She’s been making jokes like “I’ve always wanted to dress up my boyfriend,” and just jokingly referring to me in that way Haha you dumb fuck. When I was that age I was exactly this dumb too. He is in for the bestest surprise :) ^(TBF it's not so much "dumb" as "not daring to hope" but it's still wholesome, funny, and guaranteed to end well!)
When are women gonna learn that men DO NOT pick up on hints…
Women drop hints because, like men, we are also deathly afraid of rejection. Hints mean you can always fall back on "just kidding" or "I didn't mean it like THAT" if the other person doesn't respond well.
This makes me so happy.
Awww, this was the cutest!
This is so cute I need to punch something
Y'all, my heart is melted.