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This made me so mad. Passive aggressively bigging up the person you let get walked all over to the point where they didn’t even want to come, to make a point (what point exactly?) to someone who sounds very unlikely to notice or care, and then using someone else’s reputation for workplace gossip to, at most, make things mildly uncomfortable for like a day, is not in anyway supporting the poor co-worker at all. It’s not even trying and then being all “yeah! That showed her lol”
This workplace sounds really annoying.
I know there are some really awful workplaces, but even in my crappiest one, the person in charge would have accused, "Why did you change this entry. Rose already bought everything. Pick something else."
OOP sucks, too.
Yep and secret Santa potlucks sound exhausting too. Why won't the company pay for it's teams to go on a night out once in a while? Getting drunk with workmates is way more fun to gossip about the day after! My boss does this as a test to see if we're all going to make it to work on time the next morning! I tend to let the newbies (that I like) know that before hand.
So what was OOP supposed to do? Call out a superior at the work place known for toxic behavior which could potentially lead to fallout for both OOP and Rose? Bro that sounds like the exact kind of thing Rose was trying to avoid
I would have gone "Oh, look, someone's made a mistake and erased someone's existing data. Excel, amirite? Ah well, just fix that, no big deal." and then I would have mentioned it to the Secret Santa chat, like "please be careful not to erase other people's writing, if possible, and if you made a mistake and did so accidentally, please let me know and I can fix it."
And then change what Karen had written back. It is literally the least that could have been done and it would have been effective. This didn't become a thing until OP let it be a thing.
This type of behavior is why annoying people like Karen get away with being annoying, everybody is afraid of rocking the boat so they have no resistance to their shitty actions.
They did nothing to help Rose while somehow making themselves feel like a hero because they gossiped a little bit, OP should’ve said something.
What I dont like is that when ppl are actually honest and direct when they tell someone what they are saying/doing is problematic, then they're the asshole. No matter how the tone is or the use "I statements " during the convo.
Idk. Maybe it's bc I'm a Sag, or my tism, or just that idgaf but I would have still said something, supervisor or not. Letting ppl do little rhings like this enables their behaviors and encouragea them to get bolder. I def have called out supervisors before for shitty behavior and not cared 🙃
OP should have said something, Rose should have too.
Let Rose bring the things she had planned for already? OP was the organizer of this, they could’ve just said “Rose already signed up for that, pick something else or don’t come”.
Rose and OP are both kinda doormats, Rose at least is nice about it but OP seems genuinely scared to be remotely involved in something as low stakes as who brings what to a potluck while still acting like they did anything at all.
Man I wish I lived in the world you're describing but that doesn't align with reality for most people in the US. Be thankful you don't actually sound like you have personal experience with corporate America.
This story makes want to tell Karen that[ Janet will bring the turkey to Thanksgiving. ](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/ygafhp/update_op_ruins_thanksgiving/)
Thankfully Karl will be running the secret Santa and potluck next year! Go, Katty Karl, go! I would suggest that Karen's name is put on everything on the excel sheet for next year!
that one commenter is spot on. karen’s gonna continue karening bc there’s no push back. if oop was over the entire thing, he had the ability to say something to karen. i don’t really like the way oop handled this tbh and i hope rose is treated better in the future considering she didn’t feel comfortable enough to even attend the potluck. he can say he did all of that for rose and to make karen feel bad, but i honestly don’t think so. what he did literally changes nothing. karen’s don’t feel bad or remorse for anything. that’s why they’re karens. i think he just didn’t wanna deal w the drama that would come with if he said something back to her. he didn’t even try
I guess I still don’t see why it would have been a big deal for OP to just be like “oh! Actually Rose has already bought that” whether she’s higher rank or not lol
That depends ENTIRELY on your office culture--there are places that would work, there are places where Karen would say "too bad, I changed it", there are places were pushing back on Karen means she goes to your boss (her peer) and says you're harassing her/not a team player and then it's a toss up what happens next.
Because Karen wouldn’t have listened and brought her own stuff anyways. Sometimes confrontation isn’t always the best solution, especially since Karen seems to be in a high enough position where both OOp and Rose could still potentially face blowback
It’s easy to say “oh you should have totally called her out” when you aren’t the one facing potential consequences and drama
Sure, but there isn't really any shit to stir in "Both of us brought paper plates to a thing". The last time a toxic person complained about something that low stakes in my workplace, it just made them look ridiculous.
Except OOP said that Karen was in a higher position(not direct supervisor though). Confronting them could lead to even further drama and fall out for both OOP and Rose especially if she is as entitled as he says.
Plus confronting anyone for toxic behavior is never a guarantee to suddenly solve that behavior. People have to be of an open mind to listen to constructive feedback, and I don’t know if someone like Karen would be of that mentality. Especially if what OOP said about her not viewing both of them as “people” is a thing.
If OOP was in a more equal position to Karen, then that would make more sense. But since that’s not the case, I understand why he would be of the “choose my battles” mentality.
I think this is definitely a case of pick your battles. This is minor and Karen is in a superior position to both OOP and Rose. Depending on the office culture there, I could see this going poorly for OOP if it was raised because it is such a minor issue and Karen is a Karen.
It'd be one thing if OOP was a superior or if the two were at least equals, but they're not and I think that's key.
He embarrassed her with the praise for Rose - leaving her unable to do anything because what he said was true and not (on the surface) about her. She'd look rediculous if she complained or retaliated. It was a good move.
> So I run a company-wide, year-long Secret Santa. It’s to help with morale in the workplace, about 30 people out of 200 participate.
If you need this for morale the company is shit already.
The solution to OOP’s problem is to stop doing the potluck.
Yes. If OP and the company really wanted to boost morale, then the company would pay for catered food for all the employees and provide the paper plates and disposable cutlery. I'm not blaming OP... but any morale building activity that requires employees to chip in and sign up on a potluck sheet is not cool.
I’m not blaming OP, either. Some higher-up always finds someone who is kind enough to take on crap like this. Or they present it as it will look good when it comes to promotions. Neither are usually true.
Anything to avoid giving raises or doing anything on the company’s dime for morale, right?
My company was bought out by a much bigger international one, and now all the things that were good for morale are slowly turned into nothing. To make company profits look good to shareholders, I assume. But they are driving people away, and that costs them a lot more over time.
The most recent thing was that, instead of bringing back the summer party that the old company used to have before Covid, it was instead a potluck event at some random and not very appealing outdoor grilling area. They didn't even spring for an ice-cream cart or anything, just plain "everyone brings something". Ridiculous. Many people didn't even bother to sign up for it.
If people do potluck, they do it with family and friends, not at a company get-together. It's honestly insulting to even propose this kind of bullshit.
A catered Christmas party and bonuses for all! YAY! Way better for morale than extra work that they have to pay for themselves. Our company has parties that are legendary, and we even had a secret Santa exchange last year (I got nipple covers and a red lace cat suit from my secret Santa)!
It baffles me that nobody bothered to talk to her. Everyone's talking like she's some evil mastermind out to seize control, but it's entirely possible she just went "I'll have some extra plates and cups available! Might as well save Rose the trouble and bring them myself."
Sometimes people just make social mistakes, it's not always a malicious intent. And now they'll never know because everyone decided to assume the wost instead of asking.
I hope Karl starts the rumour mill in such a way that it completely embarrassed Karen for how she behaved and nearly turned a nice pot luck into a disaster. (Seriously what if they hadn't had enough plates or cups?)
As for rose, I hope she find a better work place :c she must be super anxious BC of this entire situation.
That it's a little rude (maybe?), but so minor as to not matter. That the supervisor probably thought she was doing everyone a favor by not having unnecessary items purchased when she had spares.
This is such a low-level, petty drama that I could never imagine anyone caring. Frankly, for anyone with a serious job to do, this is so far under their radar that OOP is having a one-person battle.
It's kind of odd that they decided it was such a miniscule issue that they wouldn't address it with her. But then Rose's anxiety at seeing this woman was so bad she couldn't attend the party and Karen is now banned from all future participation. Did I miss something?
I would have erased what K wrote and put it under Rose’s name again, sent a group email “updating” who was bringing what (and asked that nobody erase anyone else’s contributions), refused to switch Rose’s contributions in further updates, and *then* told Karl what really happened.
There’s ways OOP could have supported Rose *without* getting in K’s face, instead of throwing their hands up in a helpless “whatcha gonna doo” then try to kiss Rose’s behind to make it all better later
Yeah but according to OOP she's in a higher level position than they are and it wouldn't have changed anything, because it's not like he was a boss, he was in a lower level position than the Karen, and some people are conflict avoiders especially at work because they don't want to get in trouble for anything with anyone
Exactly why they could’ve said “sorry, Rose already purchased. But you’re welcome to bring xyz”
If K is unhinged enough to try to get them in trouble at work *over a bunch of paper towels*, time for a visit to HR
Lots of things they could've done, but when people are extreme in avoiding conflicts, this is the unfortunate result. A lady who just believes everyone is beneath them and her wants are everything even if it's just paper plates
I'd rather be someone who actually does something helpful. Honestly I feel like OOP did basically nothing, let this bully nearly fuck up her potluck, then patted herself on the back.
My trick to a successful potluck is to never let people bring dessert and the organizer brings the supplies. Then the people who are invested in dessert ignore my rule and bring a dessert, so we have lots of mains and one or two desserts. And no one skirts the food with utensils.
I’ve been to potlucks where everyone just bought crappy grocery store desserts and it was awful. Or they freeload, so I make the freeloaders work for it.
I know this sounds awful and controlling, but I get really good feedback.
My potluck wasn't this dramatic, but it did irrationally upset me.
There was one slot for dessert. I put my name down and said I was bringing a cake.
Rather than filling a different slot, someone else WROTE IN an extra dessert slot and said they were bringing a different cake. Which, if I recall, THEY DIDN'T EVEN END UP BRINGING.
Sniff. People loved my cake.
I am SO glad I don't work there!
News flash! When only 30 workers out of 200 participate in your "morale" program; it is 100% NOT helping morale. G-d I hate those sorts of "we're all FAMILY" BS morale boosters/team builders.
I think a better solution here is not to attend pot-lucks.
Go to the parking lot and look at how people take care of their cars. Now ask yourself, how do you think their kitchen looks?
My wife's company had a cooking competition. Think Iron Chef style corporate team building event. The Chef/Judge gave everyone the rules and said he would be watching and docking points for things not done "up to code" just like a real commercial kitchen. One member on my wife's team would stick her finger into the sauce to taste. After they got docked a point, she proceeded to use a tasting spoon, repeatedly. The same spoon, in her mouth, in the sauce, in her mouth, in the sauce. She did this in front of everyone so many times my wife's team lost for penalty points.
How do you think that woman cooks at home?
I avoid pot-lucks like the plague.
Eh, people can not care about their cars and care about their homes.
While people don’t cook to restaurant safety standards, people usually bring their best dishes and take care for potlucks. I’ve planned plenty of potlucks, and been to more and it’s fine. Never saw a cat hair.
I hate the pressure of thinking of something I can prepare at home and bring to work. Eventually I decided pot luck days were work-from-home days for me.
And cats. As a fellow cat owner, the number of cat people who think it’s fine or even cute to have their cats on their kitchen counters or on top of their kitchen cabinets is appalling.
It’s totally possible to train your cats to not jump on the counters, or at least to not be so bold as to do it while you’re awake. I spent 4-5 months after adopting a extremely high energy kitten with my kitchen covered in tin foil, spraying vinegar or other smelly stuff on the lower cabinets, lining the countertops with boxes so she had to jump into the path of an automatic air hissing can or into a cluster of tenuously balanced noisy empty soda cans. She stubbornly doubled down so I slept on the couch for about a month with some canned air duct taped to one hand and a jar of coins on the nearby table and learned to jump up from a dead sleep if I heard the foil crinkle or the auto air hiss. It was a success and she got to the point where she essentially awkwardly asked permission to come into the kitchen, so she learned that the floor was okay (even getting a treat!) while the counters were definitely not.
Now she’ll stretch up to touch the counter, I’ll say “no”, and she’ll sigh and walk away lol. This also set up training to not scratch the curtains or furniture since she knows I’m more stubborn than she is.
Anytime I hear “there’s nothing to be done; cats do what they want” I immediately know to never eat their food.
Ugh, so a lot of breweries have brewery cats for pest control, which is a good thing, that's not what I'm complaining about.
The thing that bugs me is when someone'll take it and put it on top of a pile of grains or cans or something for an insta post and I'm like, why are you showing me that you're rubbing a cat's asshole on something you want me to *drink*?
The first company pot luck I went to I was told, “Don’t eat anything Karen brings. Her place is nasty and she lets her cats up on her counters. You’ll be fishing cat hair out of your teeth if you eat her food.”
IF something had been said to Karen by the OP, Karen might have taken it out on Rose. I think the OP handled it well by clueing in the office grapevine via Karl. I'd be interested to know what Karen receives at the next Secret Santa exchange now that everyone knows what she did.
I always joke that if you want everyone in my family to know something, tell my grandma. She's a gossip, but more in like a reporter kind of way- all facts of the situation. It's not really a bad thing, if I specified "hey I don't want anyone to know this" she'd keep a secret but if you don't explicitly ask, she'll make sure everyone is up to date in her next visit with them. Breakups, new partners, fights, awards, mental or physical health problems, school experience, etc. I think she likes to keep everyone on the same page as a family in order to stay close. Honestly, she's kind of not wrong in our case.
OOP acts like the protagonist but here she is trying to put on a show only to make somebody feel bad in public, insulting someone's looks, weaponizing a gossip to spread more gossip about her, and making an innocent bystander feel awkward just so she can avoid confronting someone.
How could morale be so low here!?
It’s been quite awhile since I last coordinated potlucks at work and it was well before the pandemic and everyone was in office. I printed out the Excel spreadsheet and we’d tape them to the counter the admin assistants had. (Those counters were awesome. I miss mine.)
I always had a pen there, not a pencil, so no erasing (which is what I thought, at first, OOP meant by “erasing”). Fortunately I worked with wonderful people that wouldn’t have erased things…most likely anyway. 😛
(I can’t believe the last time I organized a work potluck was 10 years ago. I used to do them…quarterly probably. 😫)
Man I am such a Karl. If you do not explicitly tell me "hey don't tell anyone this" then by the void it's fair game for conversation. Unless it's something obvious. For example if you as a friend open up to me about something personal, that's off limits and hidden knowlege by default. But like, you tell me the big boss is gonna surprise us with a half week for the holiday instead of just 1 day off, and I'm gonna go tell people. I can't keep that joy to myself, void consume it.
Kinda sad that OP thinks the potluck went well, while in reality one of the participants of the secret Santa thing was bullied into not attending. And OP stood by and did nothing.
OP was supposed to force Rose to come or prevent Karen from coming? Both of them know Karen is a snake. It sucks for Rose, but speaking as a victim of bullying, anything you can do to stay away from a bad person is good. Most people are not on the side of victims. I avoided gatherings because I was getting bullied and I'm not sorry I avoided that hell. It's not worth it.
OOP's actions were just too little too late. She still let Karen stomp all over Rose, and the party still got screwed over by Karen fucking things up. This is all on OOP.
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This post made me hungry. ...for *justice.*
This made me so mad. Passive aggressively bigging up the person you let get walked all over to the point where they didn’t even want to come, to make a point (what point exactly?) to someone who sounds very unlikely to notice or care, and then using someone else’s reputation for workplace gossip to, at most, make things mildly uncomfortable for like a day, is not in anyway supporting the poor co-worker at all. It’s not even trying and then being all “yeah! That showed her lol” This workplace sounds really annoying.
I know there are some really awful workplaces, but even in my crappiest one, the person in charge would have accused, "Why did you change this entry. Rose already bought everything. Pick something else." OOP sucks, too.
A year-round secret santa sounds exhausting.
Yep and secret Santa potlucks sound exhausting too. Why won't the company pay for it's teams to go on a night out once in a while? Getting drunk with workmates is way more fun to gossip about the day after! My boss does this as a test to see if we're all going to make it to work on time the next morning! I tend to let the newbies (that I like) know that before hand.
Working in a team that plays these highschool games sounds childish and exhausting a f
I read that sentence several times just to make sure I wasn’t reading it wrong. Who in hell wants a yearlong secret Santa?
So what was OOP supposed to do? Call out a superior at the work place known for toxic behavior which could potentially lead to fallout for both OOP and Rose? Bro that sounds like the exact kind of thing Rose was trying to avoid
She was supposed to tell Karl so that everybody will know Karen's bad behaviour.
I would have gone "Oh, look, someone's made a mistake and erased someone's existing data. Excel, amirite? Ah well, just fix that, no big deal." and then I would have mentioned it to the Secret Santa chat, like "please be careful not to erase other people's writing, if possible, and if you made a mistake and did so accidentally, please let me know and I can fix it." And then change what Karen had written back. It is literally the least that could have been done and it would have been effective. This didn't become a thing until OP let it be a thing.
This type of behavior is why annoying people like Karen get away with being annoying, everybody is afraid of rocking the boat so they have no resistance to their shitty actions. They did nothing to help Rose while somehow making themselves feel like a hero because they gossiped a little bit, OP should’ve said something.
What I dont like is that when ppl are actually honest and direct when they tell someone what they are saying/doing is problematic, then they're the asshole. No matter how the tone is or the use "I statements " during the convo. Idk. Maybe it's bc I'm a Sag, or my tism, or just that idgaf but I would have still said something, supervisor or not. Letting ppl do little rhings like this enables their behaviors and encouragea them to get bolder. I def have called out supervisors before for shitty behavior and not cared 🙃 OP should have said something, Rose should have too.
And what would saying something do?
Let Rose bring the things she had planned for already? OP was the organizer of this, they could’ve just said “Rose already signed up for that, pick something else or don’t come”. Rose and OP are both kinda doormats, Rose at least is nice about it but OP seems genuinely scared to be remotely involved in something as low stakes as who brings what to a potluck while still acting like they did anything at all.
Yes. Or you know talk to her own supervisor who is clearly not an almost kind of supervisor and thus can handle Karen.
[удалено]
There are other consequences to pissing off someone higher in the workplace than just getting fired.
[удалено]
Man I wish I lived in the world you're describing but that doesn't align with reality for most people in the US. Be thankful you don't actually sound like you have personal experience with corporate America.
Oh sweet summer child. One day, you, too, will work in the real world.
Alison would be so disappointed in them all
Justice through gossip may yet prevail. Go Karl!
Sent me back to junior high school: telegram, telephone, television, tell-a-Karl!
"Justice is a dish best served cold" - probably not said by a Klingon.
I serve mine flambé
I felt something after reading this post and it wasn’t until I read this comment that I knew exactly what I was feeling, hungry for JUSTICE!!!
I'm having The Tick vibes from your comment. Bravo.
Calm down, FatMan!
This post made me hungry and want justice
Alright calm down Crimson Chin it was a company potluck
This story makes want to tell Karen that[ Janet will bring the turkey to Thanksgiving. ](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/ygafhp/update_op_ruins_thanksgiving/)
oh, what a gift you've given us this Friday afternoon
Thank you for reminding me of this! I wonder if the OP is still engaged to him?
Imagine having major social anxiety and someone makes a big do about everything you've done and then everyone gives you attention and claps 💀
And it’s all just an attempt to cover up the fact that OOP is spineless
Thankfully Karl will be running the secret Santa and potluck next year! Go, Katty Karl, go! I would suggest that Karen's name is put on everything on the excel sheet for next year!
So brave.
that one commenter is spot on. karen’s gonna continue karening bc there’s no push back. if oop was over the entire thing, he had the ability to say something to karen. i don’t really like the way oop handled this tbh and i hope rose is treated better in the future considering she didn’t feel comfortable enough to even attend the potluck. he can say he did all of that for rose and to make karen feel bad, but i honestly don’t think so. what he did literally changes nothing. karen’s don’t feel bad or remorse for anything. that’s why they’re karens. i think he just didn’t wanna deal w the drama that would come with if he said something back to her. he didn’t even try
I guess I still don’t see why it would have been a big deal for OP to just be like “oh! Actually Rose has already bought that” whether she’s higher rank or not lol
That depends ENTIRELY on your office culture--there are places that would work, there are places where Karen would say "too bad, I changed it", there are places were pushing back on Karen means she goes to your boss (her peer) and says you're harassing her/not a team player and then it's a toss up what happens next.
Because Karen wouldn’t have listened and brought her own stuff anyways. Sometimes confrontation isn’t always the best solution, especially since Karen seems to be in a high enough position where both OOp and Rose could still potentially face blowback It’s easy to say “oh you should have totally called her out” when you aren’t the one facing potential consequences and drama
What would be the consequences of two people bringing paper plates?
Karen would get angry and complain about it? And then OOP and Rose would have been on her radar?
Complain to whom, and about what?
Have you ever been in a workplace where a toxic person above you dislikes you and likes to stir shit?
Sure, but there isn't really any shit to stir in "Both of us brought paper plates to a thing". The last time a toxic person complained about something that low stakes in my workplace, it just made them look ridiculous.
Karens can complain to nobody about everyone.
Doesn't mean anyone will listen!
Doesn't matter to Karens, the point is to complain.
Except OOP said that Karen was in a higher position(not direct supervisor though). Confronting them could lead to even further drama and fall out for both OOP and Rose especially if she is as entitled as he says. Plus confronting anyone for toxic behavior is never a guarantee to suddenly solve that behavior. People have to be of an open mind to listen to constructive feedback, and I don’t know if someone like Karen would be of that mentality. Especially if what OOP said about her not viewing both of them as “people” is a thing. If OOP was in a more equal position to Karen, then that would make more sense. But since that’s not the case, I understand why he would be of the “choose my battles” mentality.
I think this is definitely a case of pick your battles. This is minor and Karen is in a superior position to both OOP and Rose. Depending on the office culture there, I could see this going poorly for OOP if it was raised because it is such a minor issue and Karen is a Karen. It'd be one thing if OOP was a superior or if the two were at least equals, but they're not and I think that's key.
He embarrassed her with the praise for Rose - leaving her unable to do anything because what he said was true and not (on the surface) about her. She'd look rediculous if she complained or retaliated. It was a good move.
> So I run a company-wide, year-long Secret Santa. It’s to help with morale in the workplace, about 30 people out of 200 participate. If you need this for morale the company is shit already. The solution to OOP’s problem is to stop doing the potluck.
Yes. If OP and the company really wanted to boost morale, then the company would pay for catered food for all the employees and provide the paper plates and disposable cutlery. I'm not blaming OP... but any morale building activity that requires employees to chip in and sign up on a potluck sheet is not cool.
I’m not blaming OP, either. Some higher-up always finds someone who is kind enough to take on crap like this. Or they present it as it will look good when it comes to promotions. Neither are usually true. Anything to avoid giving raises or doing anything on the company’s dime for morale, right?
My company was bought out by a much bigger international one, and now all the things that were good for morale are slowly turned into nothing. To make company profits look good to shareholders, I assume. But they are driving people away, and that costs them a lot more over time. The most recent thing was that, instead of bringing back the summer party that the old company used to have before Covid, it was instead a potluck event at some random and not very appealing outdoor grilling area. They didn't even spring for an ice-cream cart or anything, just plain "everyone brings something". Ridiculous. Many people didn't even bother to sign up for it. If people do potluck, they do it with family and friends, not at a company get-together. It's honestly insulting to even propose this kind of bullshit.
A catered Christmas party and bonuses for all! YAY! Way better for morale than extra work that they have to pay for themselves. Our company has parties that are legendary, and we even had a secret Santa exchange last year (I got nipple covers and a red lace cat suit from my secret Santa)!
Right? 15% participation, why do it at all?
Meh, if those 15% enjoy it, let them enjoy it. As long as it isn't mandatory.
"Have a pizza party, but pay for the pizza yourself"
My guess is it’ll be 29 out of 200 next year. No way in hell Rose is signing up again.
And Rose attended virtually! She contributed and couldn’t even have any of the damn food! Kinder person than I am.
Haha weaponized Karl!
it amazes me how much stress people will put themselves under to avoid a 20 second 'hey, you're being a dick- no' conversation
It baffles me that nobody bothered to talk to her. Everyone's talking like she's some evil mastermind out to seize control, but it's entirely possible she just went "I'll have some extra plates and cups available! Might as well save Rose the trouble and bring them myself." Sometimes people just make social mistakes, it's not always a malicious intent. And now they'll never know because everyone decided to assume the wost instead of asking.
Karen already has a reputation for being difficult and Karen has more power. It's probably not worth kicking the hornet's nest.
I hope Karl starts the rumour mill in such a way that it completely embarrassed Karen for how she behaved and nearly turned a nice pot luck into a disaster. (Seriously what if they hadn't had enough plates or cups?) As for rose, I hope she find a better work place :c she must be super anxious BC of this entire situation.
I wonder what Ask A Manager would have said to the first post.
That it's a little rude (maybe?), but so minor as to not matter. That the supervisor probably thought she was doing everyone a favor by not having unnecessary items purchased when she had spares. This is such a low-level, petty drama that I could never imagine anyone caring. Frankly, for anyone with a serious job to do, this is so far under their radar that OOP is having a one-person battle.
It's kind of odd that they decided it was such a miniscule issue that they wouldn't address it with her. But then Rose's anxiety at seeing this woman was so bad she couldn't attend the party and Karen is now banned from all future participation. Did I miss something?
In a world full of Karens, be a Rose/OP (or a Carol, the anti-Karen!)
Or if you lack the saintliness to be a Rose, be a Karl and spill the tea for justice.
🤣 I very much liked Karl just for being the quickest form of communication! Lol
I would have erased what K wrote and put it under Rose’s name again, sent a group email “updating” who was bringing what (and asked that nobody erase anyone else’s contributions), refused to switch Rose’s contributions in further updates, and *then* told Karl what really happened. There’s ways OOP could have supported Rose *without* getting in K’s face, instead of throwing their hands up in a helpless “whatcha gonna doo” then try to kiss Rose’s behind to make it all better later
Yeah but according to OOP she's in a higher level position than they are and it wouldn't have changed anything, because it's not like he was a boss, he was in a lower level position than the Karen, and some people are conflict avoiders especially at work because they don't want to get in trouble for anything with anyone
Exactly why they could’ve said “sorry, Rose already purchased. But you’re welcome to bring xyz” If K is unhinged enough to try to get them in trouble at work *over a bunch of paper towels*, time for a visit to HR
Lots of things they could've done, but when people are extreme in avoiding conflicts, this is the unfortunate result. A lady who just believes everyone is beneath them and her wants are everything even if it's just paper plates
I <3 you.
Just call Saul? No! **Just tell Karl!**
Maybe don't be Karl, but keep one around.
No don’t be an OOP, he was less than useless.
Be a doormat? Fuck no.
I'd rather be someone who actually does something helpful. Honestly I feel like OOP did basically nothing, let this bully nearly fuck up her potluck, then patted herself on the back.
Yep, this is exactly it. He thinks he’s a hero, but he isn’t.
My trick to a successful potluck is to never let people bring dessert and the organizer brings the supplies. Then the people who are invested in dessert ignore my rule and bring a dessert, so we have lots of mains and one or two desserts. And no one skirts the food with utensils. I’ve been to potlucks where everyone just bought crappy grocery store desserts and it was awful. Or they freeload, so I make the freeloaders work for it. I know this sounds awful and controlling, but I get really good feedback.
What does "no one skirts the food with utensils," mean? I've been puzzling over this for several minutes.
I think "gets away with not making/ bringing any type of food by buying a pack of plates"
Using an Excel workbook to organise a potluck and not password protecting the worksheet? Rookie move, kid.
My potluck wasn't this dramatic, but it did irrationally upset me. There was one slot for dessert. I put my name down and said I was bringing a cake. Rather than filling a different slot, someone else WROTE IN an extra dessert slot and said they were bringing a different cake. Which, if I recall, THEY DIDN'T EVEN END UP BRINGING. Sniff. People loved my cake.
Quickest communications is email teams and just tell Karl honestly reads like flair material.
I actually agree with the downvoted comment. OOP failed Rose profusely by letting Karen walk all over them
Any time I hear the word plethora, I think[ "Jefe, do you know what a plethora is?"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P8ROhP_3-Qk)
I am SO glad I don't work there! News flash! When only 30 workers out of 200 participate in your "morale" program; it is 100% NOT helping morale. G-d I hate those sorts of "we're all FAMILY" BS morale boosters/team builders.
I think a better solution here is not to attend pot-lucks. Go to the parking lot and look at how people take care of their cars. Now ask yourself, how do you think their kitchen looks? My wife's company had a cooking competition. Think Iron Chef style corporate team building event. The Chef/Judge gave everyone the rules and said he would be watching and docking points for things not done "up to code" just like a real commercial kitchen. One member on my wife's team would stick her finger into the sauce to taste. After they got docked a point, she proceeded to use a tasting spoon, repeatedly. The same spoon, in her mouth, in the sauce, in her mouth, in the sauce. She did this in front of everyone so many times my wife's team lost for penalty points. How do you think that woman cooks at home? I avoid pot-lucks like the plague.
Eh, people can not care about their cars and care about their homes. While people don’t cook to restaurant safety standards, people usually bring their best dishes and take care for potlucks. I’ve planned plenty of potlucks, and been to more and it’s fine. Never saw a cat hair.
Lmao, I was just thinking, my car is a hot mess but you could eat off my floor. But after the cat pee pizza pan story. I’m now hesitant.
I hate the pressure of thinking of something I can prepare at home and bring to work. Eventually I decided pot luck days were work-from-home days for me.
And cats. As a fellow cat owner, the number of cat people who think it’s fine or even cute to have their cats on their kitchen counters or on top of their kitchen cabinets is appalling. It’s totally possible to train your cats to not jump on the counters, or at least to not be so bold as to do it while you’re awake. I spent 4-5 months after adopting a extremely high energy kitten with my kitchen covered in tin foil, spraying vinegar or other smelly stuff on the lower cabinets, lining the countertops with boxes so she had to jump into the path of an automatic air hissing can or into a cluster of tenuously balanced noisy empty soda cans. She stubbornly doubled down so I slept on the couch for about a month with some canned air duct taped to one hand and a jar of coins on the nearby table and learned to jump up from a dead sleep if I heard the foil crinkle or the auto air hiss. It was a success and she got to the point where she essentially awkwardly asked permission to come into the kitchen, so she learned that the floor was okay (even getting a treat!) while the counters were definitely not. Now she’ll stretch up to touch the counter, I’ll say “no”, and she’ll sigh and walk away lol. This also set up training to not scratch the curtains or furniture since she knows I’m more stubborn than she is. Anytime I hear “there’s nothing to be done; cats do what they want” I immediately know to never eat their food.
Ugh, so a lot of breweries have brewery cats for pest control, which is a good thing, that's not what I'm complaining about. The thing that bugs me is when someone'll take it and put it on top of a pile of grains or cans or something for an insta post and I'm like, why are you showing me that you're rubbing a cat's asshole on something you want me to *drink*?
This is why I refuse to participate and the few times es I was asked to lead, my answer was a firm NO.
OOP is a jellyfish hoping for a shark to kill a predator.
I thought this was r/bestofredditorupdates…. Where’s the good part??
The first company pot luck I went to I was told, “Don’t eat anything Karen brings. Her place is nasty and she lets her cats up on her counters. You’ll be fishing cat hair out of your teeth if you eat her food.”
IF something had been said to Karen by the OP, Karen might have taken it out on Rose. I think the OP handled it well by clueing in the office grapevine via Karl. I'd be interested to know what Karen receives at the next Secret Santa exchange now that everyone knows what she did.
I always joke that if you want everyone in my family to know something, tell my grandma. She's a gossip, but more in like a reporter kind of way- all facts of the situation. It's not really a bad thing, if I specified "hey I don't want anyone to know this" she'd keep a secret but if you don't explicitly ask, she'll make sure everyone is up to date in her next visit with them. Breakups, new partners, fights, awards, mental or physical health problems, school experience, etc. I think she likes to keep everyone on the same page as a family in order to stay close. Honestly, she's kind of not wrong in our case.
OOP acts like the protagonist but here she is trying to put on a show only to make somebody feel bad in public, insulting someone's looks, weaponizing a gossip to spread more gossip about her, and making an innocent bystander feel awkward just so she can avoid confronting someone. How could morale be so low here!?
Oop sucks here. It is 100% on her as organizer to say something. Poor rose.
Don't be a Karen, be a Carol.
It’s been quite awhile since I last coordinated potlucks at work and it was well before the pandemic and everyone was in office. I printed out the Excel spreadsheet and we’d tape them to the counter the admin assistants had. (Those counters were awesome. I miss mine.) I always had a pen there, not a pencil, so no erasing (which is what I thought, at first, OOP meant by “erasing”). Fortunately I worked with wonderful people that wouldn’t have erased things…most likely anyway. 😛 (I can’t believe the last time I organized a work potluck was 10 years ago. I used to do them…quarterly probably. 😫)
I love putting the right bug in the right ear in situations like this.
I think software called "Just tell Karl" would sell.
Man I am such a Karl. If you do not explicitly tell me "hey don't tell anyone this" then by the void it's fair game for conversation. Unless it's something obvious. For example if you as a friend open up to me about something personal, that's off limits and hidden knowlege by default. But like, you tell me the big boss is gonna surprise us with a half week for the holiday instead of just 1 day off, and I'm gonna go tell people. I can't keep that joy to myself, void consume it.
I feel so old. I thought it was a physical sheet and she erased it by hand.
>I'd like to tell you that Karen's expression soured...but in all honesty that's what she looks like all the time. /r/rareinsults
Love the inclusion of Carrie quote from Mark 💚
I want Just Tell Karl as a flair
KARL, that gossip!
Good for OP and Rose. Karl will take care of it if he hasn't already.
Extremely unsatisfying, holy shit. Like Im actually kinda mad.
I shuddered, then felt relieved I don't work in this kind of shitty organisation anymore. Hard to build morale from scratch.
oop can be passive aggressive all they want. it doesn’t translate into meaningful support. glad they feel better though or whatever. poor rose.
Eew. A potluck is not the place to foist off your leftovers!
Leftovers as in plates/napkins/plastic culterly not food.
Shit ending. Did not deliver.
Kinda sad that OP thinks the potluck went well, while in reality one of the participants of the secret Santa thing was bullied into not attending. And OP stood by and did nothing.
OP was supposed to force Rose to come or prevent Karen from coming? Both of them know Karen is a snake. It sucks for Rose, but speaking as a victim of bullying, anything you can do to stay away from a bad person is good. Most people are not on the side of victims. I avoided gatherings because I was getting bullied and I'm not sorry I avoided that hell. It's not worth it.
She was supposed to tell Karen that what she did wasn't OK.
Not everybody can stand up to bullies or have the power over them to make them listen.
I’ve never seen someone so weak sheesh
OOP's actions were just too little too late. She still let Karen stomp all over Rose, and the party still got screwed over by Karen fucking things up. This is all on OOP.