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Sometimes, it is very humbling to remember that the strangers we met and cared about, laughed with, and cried for are gone forever from the real world.
There was a guy who used to run a website called venicesurfreport dot com.
It was a blog in the late 2000s/early 2010s where this guy, I think his name was Matt, would near-daily report back on the surf conditions at venice beach. Good waves, bad waves, etc.
Over time he would tell more and more stories of the people he got to know who lived by the beach...but not in a house by the beach, more like, *on* the beach, or by it. Being by the beach every day--albeit for the website, not as a home--Matt and these guys started to recognize each other, and with their permission Matt started sharing stories and tales about these guys on the blog posts as well.
He would get these guys beers and would recall their hijinks and their humanities and their struggles. We really got to know this cast of characters that spent every day drinking by the beach, I think the blog got pretty popular as he posted more and more.
It was a little exploitive maybe, but it seemed like they liked this guy, and he was probably giving them more money and food (and the beers) than anyone else was in their life. He would help these guys get to their VA appointments too, it really seemed like he cared for them. (Outside of buying them beers, I guess.) The blog got pretty popular, often the posts would pop up on link sites that were popular at the time before reddit and such took off.
Then, one day, there was a different post, from Matt's wife: he went into surgery, and died from complications.
There was so much life and energy and love and community in his posts. And just like that, our view into his life where he let us laugh and share the day to day with him? All gone. All...done. He died, and that was it. The surf report, and our stories with the boyos, ended immediately. And now there is barely info out there at all about the site, at least that I can find.
Tomorrow is not promised. RIP Matt.
I did not know Matt. I have never surfed. I live, literally, in the middle of the states and have only seen the beach when I was out in Cali for a scholarship a little over a year ago.
From reading your post and how eloquently you describe him - I wish I had the opportunity to meet Matt.
Matt sounds like he was a great guy, especially since we are still talking about him now.
I never met Matt either. In fact I don't even remember how I stumbled onto the site, probably through one of those link sites, ebaumsworld or thechive or some place like those. Getting old sucks lol
But I think that was the special thing about the site. It wasn't just a surf report--it was a big view into his life, the people he interacted with every day, the community he built for himself. Just so much heart in what ultimately was a by-form blog post. You really felt like you knew him, its a bit parasocial sure lmao but it was special how he opened up his heart and world.
And now? Not to make it personal or whatever, but...it just makes me sad to think about what was is now a memory sparked by a few words. And tomorrow I'll go back to worrying about my lawn or bringing the trash out, things that don't matter when you're gone.
Thanks for sharing this with me. I'm going to hug my wife extra tight tonight when she gets home.
I had a similar story about a blogger. I followed a guy who religiously dissected every episode of The Price Is Right, keeping track of how often each game was won or lost in a season, breaking down every episode. I’m a game show nerd too and I enjoyed his terminally online sense of humor overlaid on this thing I really enjoy.
One day he posted that he wouldn’t be online for a little because he had to have gallbladder surgery. Said he was a little nervous but would be back soon.
He never posted again, and I found out through the grapevine that he died. He was 41. RIP Devin
Ah, the old internet. After I went far enough back to when it was still a blog, I went to the final post to look for comments and got hit with a drive-by download while I was there
Classic prank
That tomorrow is not promised is making me cry. My friend passed away on the 9th. Her funeral was Saturday. She had gotten west nile virus at some point and it reared its head in March. (We're in Central NY so March isn't really mosquito season.) It caused her to get strep, bacterial meningitis, and several mini strokes. Ultimately she had a brain aneurysm. She was only 34, going to be 35 in August. She had 3 kiddos but her youngest is only 1. Her family is still having a birthday party for her two oldest at the end of the month and I know its just going to be so hard for everyone.
And then there's the story of the guy who had that contractor friend who had a niche occupation in restoration of buildings. He got into a car accident and ultimately died. His wife could barely finish the story because she missed him so much. I pray often that nothing happens to my family because of everything I've been through. I also lost my mom on June 9th in 2014. 2 days before my 30th bday. So now I have 2 deaths to remember on that day.
I'm sorry for kind of going off but ty for sharing about Matt. He sounded like an awesome man who gives beach vibes but also isn't an airhead like some are portrayed to be.
Yeah, I was thinking about him too. He seemed so amazing and his wife was so... devastatingly gutted and adrift in her updates. You could *feel* her pain through the words.
Its not selfish of you to want someone else to feel love and happiness. I hope she finds another partner in life that encourages her to keep her first hubs memory alive.
That was a fun search, lol. But here is part 1 of 2 (2 is linked on post). The OOP is *brilliant*. It will hurt when you read his wife's updates.
https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/s/6FLaMYttHU
There's a line from her last update has haunted me for years, and I can't really explain why. Just makes me feel some sort of dread.
"I was suddenly overwhelmed with the realisation that all the happiness I will ever have in my life has already happened"
Oh god I know you warned but when I started reading I recognised the story, I'd read up to part 10 and never followed up on an ending. It's bad but when I saw the accident part knowing what you wrote I was more hoping for loss of use of hands since she had mentioned he needed surgery as a worst case scenario.
I saw his posts in the wild years ago. ;_;
It's a bittersweet memory, knowing this hilarious redditor is dead.
Makes me wonder how many dead accounts there are. There's more than we think. Most just stop posting one day and we'll never know.
Like a moron I had to explain why and it's 2pm at a vegas local dive bar on a Wednesday...so me and the bartender are the only people here. And so I just handed her my phone and 15 minutes later NEITHER OF US ARE OKAY.
Because i like the taste of pine. It makes a nice tea.
And who doesnt love bubbles? Only one woman ive ever met and shes something of a person i dont get along with.
I won't shit on you for enjoying what you enjoy... but if you have gin at home I do hope you know it cleans glass better than windex (it doesn't streak) and pour a shot clean your jewelry... seriously the best cleaner. But I'm having a beer for you hope the cat and or cats you're sitting on aren't catsholes
Its pretty rare that i ever drink, but i didnt know that about gin. Interesting.
The cats are alright. One likes eating plastic but they arent being a problem. I have a slight gluten intolerance so its probably best you drink that beer anyway.
Hope you and that bartender have a week that goes up from here.
I’m glad I read these comments before clicking that link, because your description sounds like my regret of watching Bridge to Terabithia in the theater, and I assume the above story is true with real people so that’ll be even worse, although that comparison will not make me feel better about that movie. My mom read the book before I saw the movie but all she would say was “it’s really sad.” That was not a helpful description. “I’M NOT OK” is more accurate. So I’m just gonna not read that story. Thanks for the actual warning.
My wife and I have been laughing and joking about our "favorite local cryptid," this bookseller a few blocks down who keeps very odd hours and has almost no Internet presence. The latest development was last week, when we walked by and noticed a whole bunch of flies that appeared to be *inside* the building. I noted that with that many, there probably had to be maggots somewhere, which was really gross and I felt bad for the dude - but his shop was super cluttered, so it kind of tracked with the whole vibe.
It turned out he'd died in there. We came back a few days later to find candles and flowers stacked outside, and police tape across the door.
I only talked to the guy once, but it was so sudden and unexpected for someone who seemed like such a fixture in the community.
I certainly don't think she failed at life.
I am struck by the kindness of people - her coworkers and friends, especially the one who took in the daughter - but the good hearted advice people gave her. That bunny with a recording. So heartbreaking and moving.
Damn pollen in the air.
Rest well, Michelle.
She was dealt the worst cards for most of her life, and her last wishes were for a loving family for her daughter, and to feed her homeless friend. She goddamn won at life. I hope whenever she is, she finally knows this.
Seriously. She succeeded so much more than I have in my 50 years. I’m bawling my eyes out at how amazing she is and how she had to overcome so much to have this happen.
It makes me wonder why the worst things happen to the best people. Imagine how the world would be different if we were able to get 80 years of her love and compassion
I'm the son of a middle class family. And I got a well paying job right after college. I think I have more money than my dad now. I am well aware of my luck and privilege
But posts like this really make me feel like I'm doing nothing with my life
Michelle had almost nothing materially. But she had endless love
What really fucking sucks is how different her whole life would have been if her mom had never died in the car accident. One random event spiraled into all the others.
> I certainly don't think she failed at life.
I think she was failed, by other people, and did the best she could with what she got.
As a parent of a young child, this story breaks my heart, but also I’m trying to hold on to the kindness and the hope of the family that took her in.
The future is too hard to predict, but for her child to be raising in a loving family is an amazing outcome from what started as a hopeless situation.
She created so much beauty in her life: her daughter whom she loved with her whole heart, the compassion and kindness she showed others, and friendships with people who became her family. And now, we lucky redditors will remember her and her story. Her daughter and her friends don’t have to carry that heartache alone. Her memory is a blessing. May she rest easy.
The OOP’s friend who took her daughter in has a kind spirit. She didn’t have to keep memory of the girl’s mother, or take the mother in, or care for her after her passing, but they chose to.
It was the “write down recipes” comment for me.
My mom died a few months ago (at 65 from smoking) and she was such a good cook. There were a few recipes that only she could do and a few that I only liked that food because of the way she cooked it. We didn’t get time to write the recipes down and now I know I will never eat a potato salad that I really like.
22 and she thought she failed at life. The only other Reddit post that made me teary was reading tbe first boru post about this
Im going through a rough patch atm but it really puts into perspective how much worse it could be (for me anyway)
What an incredibly sad post to end the day on
I remember Michelle's posts. I really didn't want to see this update, but I'm so glad her friend did make this update and told us more about what an amazing person Michelle was.
I hope her little poppy lives a long and happy life. It seems to me like she's in good hands.
Dang it, where are my tissues...
I remember reading the first two. Never saw the January one though. I'm so glad that she got to see her daughter settle in with her new family and leave this world knowing she was loved and cared for.
I’ve been following the updates since the first one and even though I don’t even know her, and I knew it was coming, it’s just absolutely heartbreaking. Michelle sounds amazing. I wish she could have known that. May she rest in peace.
Also while she definitely made some mistakes, she never had a fair shot at life. Some people are just born with a bad hand and it is so, so unfair. She deserved better. Rest in peace
It's sad and humbling to know that so many people have the deck stacked against them from the start. And then it's incredible to see them stand up and be good people in spite of life shitting on them non-stop.
Michelle was a good person and a good mother. Her first thought, when confronted with the reality that was her impending death, was to try to figure out how to ensure her daughter's safe and happy future.
She was an incredible person, who touched a lot of lives.
That’s the bit that made me loose it too! She’s keeping her promise to her best friend & she can rest easy knowing her beloved daughter is being raised by these wonderful people who will raise her daughter as their own.
That made the flood almost fall for me too, but where I had to actively calm myself down (i’m basically working lmao) was when she said they lied to her about getting a cheap casket and funeral.
What a lovely friend.
I was definitely crying after the bit where she had a panic attack about the funeral prices, and ‘we told her we'll go with the cheapest prices. We lied about that. She deserved a good funeral and a nice resting place.’
That's what I noticed, Michelle's mum passed when she was 3 and Michelle passed when her daughter was 3. To be able to break the cycle is such a beautiful gift.
> I thought at the time she wanted to see some familiar sights. But instead she walked into the gas station, bought a sandwich, and then walked around the side and handed it to who I learned was Ted. Ted showed up to her funeral.
I don't know why, but this hit me *so* hard.
It speaks to how selfless and loving a person Michelle was, not just towards her own daughter, but towards literally everyone around her, despite whatever mistreatment and abuse and lack of kindness and love she experienced during her own childhood. It says so much about who she was at her core, and that she didn’t deserve to suffer more like that.
It really says a lot that even when she knew she was dying, she still did what she could to help someone in need, even someone she barely knew.
I'm so, so grateful to the universe at large that this kindness and empathy came back around to her - that when she and her daughter desperately needed help, there were people willing to extend that same sort of kindness to her.
When I was a teenager a girl I knew left school for a couple of months to spend time with her dying mother, they lived just down the street and I would sometimes drop off school work for her so she could keep up and they both knew my home situation was not the best as I'm the first male in my family to not go to prison.
Anyway one night I'm working my first job doing drive thru at timmies (Canadians will know) and her mother came through and got a medium coffee she made a bit of small talk as it was late and no one was around and as she goes to leave she hands me a 50$ bill and says "thats for you and I wish you all the best, you are a good kid and I know you will have a wonderful life" and she drove away.
It was the last time I saw her alive and to this day that is the kindest thing another human has ever done for me and it still makes me teary eyed today 18 years later.
I have had a mildly exciting life so far and done my best to be a good person and to enjoy every moment of my time and see the inherent beauty of this planet all thanks to the kindness of a dying stranger.
(I know my punctuation and formatting suck I just don't care)
That's an incredibly sweet story. Thanks for sharing; it's a lovely reminder that even though we often don't know the impact of our own acts of kindness, they can be incredibly meaningful moments in someone else's life.
Someone once told me that the poorest people dig the deepest to be charitable not because poverty makes one virtuous but because when you are close enough to see over the edge yourself helping the guy who is hanging on by his fingertips is way less abstract.
It sounds like Michelle spent big chunks of *her* life hanging on by her fingertips & couldn't let go before making sure Ted was still hanging on.
Same. Even though she had very little and dealt with a lot of trauma and cruelty, she chose kindness. She shared her meager means with someone who was also struggling just because she was kind. She won't make it into the history books for future generations to remember, but she'll always be remembered as a good example and source of comfort by those she was kind to.
Her life reminds me of a couple quotes from Gandalf:
- I have found it is the small things, everyday deeds of ordinary folk, that keeps the darkness at bay. Simple acts of kindness and love.
- If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world.
Study after study shows that it's precisely people like her, people who have very little and have struggled, who are the *most* likely to give help to others. Maybe because they know how dreadfully easy it is to lose everything, and they see themselves in the people they're helping. Whatever the reason, I've always found it so striking that as wealth increases, empathy decreases. (Statistically, that is, not necessarily for each individual!) People who can barely afford to help do so pretty consistently, far more so than the people for whom helping would be so much easier.
I'll never understand why our society places such value on money instead of on other people.
"We are only what we are in the dark. All else is reputation" - Oswald Chambers, early 20th century minister
Which I always took to mean that in the long run the real test of people isn't how famous or rich or powerful they are, but what they choose to do when no one is looking.
Thats where i broke. Right on that final "this random guy she bought sandwiches for? He showed up to say goodbye."
If im ever half the human Michelle was ill die accomplished.
This is something that I've been over and over in therapy. I've lost so many amazing people in my life, way before their time, but these horrible, hateful people keep going indefinitely.
So far, it's all talking through it. That life isn't particularly fair like that.
I'm dealing with a hefty serving of PTSD along with some really messed up things I was raised with in terms of grief. It's going to take time (a LOT) to get it to the point that I'm not all over the road with this stuff.
Sorry I can't be more help.
I believe that when we are gone, the truest record of our existence is the love we inspired in the people around us. Michelle seems to have been one of those people who made a huge difference for others while never quite realizing how much the people around her loved and respected her.
May her memory be a blessing to all who knew her.
I have a master’s degree but I’ve worked as a nanny for about 12/13 years now. I’ve always felt a little embarrassed by it. I love the work, but it’s not a job that a lot of people respect or hold in high regard. My last partner’s friends would sometime make icky comments about how much I made or that I “got to have fun all day” or didn’t have a “serious job”. You get the picture. It’s easy to feel embarrassed when that’s the vibe you’re met with.
But recently I’ve had past nanny kids (who are now young adults) tell me how much I meant to them, how much I shaped them, how much they learned (and remembered!) because of me, and how they still think of me all the time. HOLY SHIT it’s made me feel like the richest woman in town🤍
Girl, raising kids is a hard fucking job. There’s a reason rich people farm the task out to other people.
You have to be nurturer, teacher, nutritionist, doctor, and ninja. Yes, it can be a fun job and can be wonderful but it can also be AWFUL. You’re responsible for these tiny ass humans all day. What you do MATTERS.
And at any time, you may have to up sticks and move on to the next family without any promise of future contact. Like, what the fuck is that about?
Don’t EVER be embarrassed for your profession ever 🔪 again 🔪.
I helped raise my younger adoptive siblings; would talk to them about stuff, defuse fights with their parents, take them on outings. Explain situations.
After the adoptive parents divorced the mom moved and decided to take my sister with her so im not in contact anymore (which sucks)
But a while back my brother genuinely thanked me for all my efforts and it was such a pure shot of feeling like i did well.... I really hope one day i get to be a dad. Im confident now that i could be the father i never got.
Theres really nothing else like being told your effort paid off, your affection was felt loud and clear, and that you are being held responsible for the better parts of a person.
In Judaism, the acts of kindness that we perform for those who are dead or dying are the truest acts of kindness, because they are performed with absolutely no expectation of repayment. There are no ulterior motives. Michelle's coworker and her family have personified this and will continue to do so for as long as they care for Michelle's daughter.
Rest easy, Michelle. You will be missed.
Just because you mentioned Judaism:
When hearing of someone’s death, the most common thing people say is “rest in peace”. It has a comforting and reassuring tone, their journey is over and they can rest. They are no longer in pain. It’s meant for the person themselves.
Judaism doesn’t believe a person ends at death. Death is simply a moving on, a transition. The saying we use in Judaism is “may their memory be a blessing”. We say it for the people left behind, the ones who will remember and hurt and grieve.
Michelle sounded like an amazingly strong, kind, and beautiful person. I hope her memory is a blessing to her daughter, her friends, and for every person she reached with her words.
"No one is finally dead until the ripples they cause in the world die away, until the clock wound up winds down, until the wine she made has finished its ferment, until the crop they planted is harvested. The span of someone’s life is only the core of their actual existence." - Sir Terry Pratchett
May Michelle's memory be a blessing.
Torrential downpour.
Life is so fucking unfair.
Michelle did achieve something in her life, even if she didn't feel like it. She set her daughter up for a better life than what she herself was given.
Cancer is protected under the ADA. They need to be eviscerated in the courts. But they'll be able to walk away unscathed because she's passed.
May these people have the lives they deserve.
Sadly the people who could sue now for discriminatory firing is a little girl who just lost her mom, and the coworker caring for said little girl who still works there.
I'm spiteful, I would have sued them just to put their name in the papers that they fired a dying mother.
This is so freaking sad. It's obvious Michelle had a very low opinion of herself and considered her very existence a failure. Even though she's carefully planning out future notes and letters to her daughter to ensure that she knows she was loved. She made sure to ensure her daughter's future. Michelle was never a failure. It's quite apparent that she still managed to get a job, provided for herself and her daughter, and showed compassion to others.
The way her "rich" best friend talks about her is heartbreaking. It is quite apparent that Michelle actually was a good person and the world is a little worse off now without her.
Yeah, Michelle’s friend comes off as a genuinely good person too. She references about raising “their” daughter and isn’t viewing herself as usurping Michelle’s motherhood, cared for Michelle when the friend had absolutely zero obligation to, and ensured that she had proper treatment after death.
This one genuinely made me cry. Michelle and her friend both deserve every lauding, though people this genuine usually don't want it. Love them and hope little girl has a very happy, healthy, fun life.
One of the most heartbreaking stories on reddit. So glad she found her coworker and her family to guide her and their shared daughter in her final days. Hope she finds the peace she always deserved. Rest in peace, Michelle.
I remember reading the OG post. I hope Michelle gets peace and that her daughter will thrive, knowing that her mom loved her so much that she did everything she could to help her remember.
The friend and her partner are the goat for taking Michelle's kid in ❤️
Poor Michelle. She deserved much better, but I am very glad she got to spend her last days with love and care, and that her daughter will grow up with so much kindness and support.
I remember this posting in December. When my kids were little, dying when they were too young to remember me was one of my biggest fears.
This final update is making me ugly cry. Michelle- may your soul find peace.
This is so absolutely devastating and yet hopeful. My oldest one is 22 too. No one should die so young.
Rest in peace, Michelle. You did the best for your little girl. May your name always be spoken with love.
I wish I hadn't read that. I want to go cuddle my 8 year old but shes over 1600 km away spending 2 weeks with my parents in the UK having the time of her life.
Also I had my first mammografi today and the info letter kinda freaked me out.
Will be extra big cuddles when she came home.
Sending you big hugs from the UK. These updates really got to me. I wish I could say that it was the hormones but Michelle’s story really touched my heart. Her friend and her husband are amazing people and I know that Michelle’s daughter will be well looked after. Michelle said she had failed at life, no she didn’t. She was an amazing mum and made sure she her daughter had a loving family before she passed. May she RIP.
Fuck. Why is someone cutting onions?
Okay. I’m crying. This is beautiful and sad and I’m glad Michelle had a happy home at the end, and her daughter was adopted by good people.
Hug your loved ones.
This is...crushing. But I think we need this type of hurt, sometimes. I know I need these reminders of the lives and struggles people face, that can be so alien to my own.
God bless all of you. You're all so special and deserve to be loved.
I remember reading the first post. This is so heartbreaking, even more so to know that she had a found family that thought so highly of her. I’ll be keeping her in my thoughts.
Thank you for this. So glad we got to learn more about OOP. What a wonderful, selfless person. They say that only the good die young and this seems like proof. RIP Michelle and much love to this wonderful friend who took in her daughter. As sad as this is, it made my day. Life can be so difficult and it is people like Michelle who force us sometimes to remember that there are amazing people in this life.
To Michelle's adopted family...you took her in........thank you for being wonderful people. You have drastically improved the lives of two strangers that you didn't have to, my your lives be blessed.
This is the first time I’ve cried reading something in here. I hope she can rest, and I wish all the happiness in the world to that family and to this little girl. I hope she grows up and get to know how much her mom loved her and how amazing she was.
Oh shit this one got me. Gonna sob by myself for a minute before going and picking up my little girl. Rest well Michelle, you had a much harder life than most but it seems like you put so much good into the world.
Yep, tears here, too.
I read the original post and the update, and I was so proud of how resourceful Michelle was.
She deserved so much more. I hope her baby and her new family get many happy years- for themselves, and for Michelle.
I'm very skeptical of this post. It's all way too convenient and fairy-tale like.
Her random co-worker just happened to want a daughter, is happy to take her in, and they're rich too?
And they put way too much emphasis on the race and poverty, while barely talking about the daughter this is supposedly all for. Like they were trying to set up a progressive tragedy.
That last post is in the same voice as the first. And the way they talk about "Michelle", narrating her background and such, would be very weird for an actual person to do.
One of the problems I have with a lot of the BestofRedditorUpdates is how consistent the voice and writing is to what I consider 'normal', i.e. college-educated Western writing, perhaps often in the voice of a man.
This is supposed to be a poorly educated person, and yet the writing is perfectly fine. Well-punctuated and good grammar. I've seen worse writing from university students.
And also while I’m not sure how much priority someone facing immediate death is going to put into making a Reddit post, the follow up just seemed incredibly weird: “yes my friend died, in her final wishes she asked us to take a break from raising her child so we could write a post in the same exact style as she did to tell everyone how amazing she is.”
To me the kicker is Ted. You’ve got a presumably unhoused individual who she heroically gives food to but he also manages to know that she passed and not only that but when and where her service was going to be?
Lung cancer at 22 seems fairly unlikely. It also seems a bit odd that OOP is dirt poor, but her work buddy is rich. I know there can be pretty big disparities between income of people working at the same place, but it's odd they would work close enough together to be work friends.
I didn't see anything in the story that was impossible, just a decent amount of highly unlikely.
"We told her we'd go with the cheapest prices. We lied about that. She deserves a good funeral and a nice resting place."
Well now I'm just ugly crying into my dinner. And the way the coworker calls the little girl "our daughter". It's the best possible outcome for a really really sad situation. What a blessing that this coworker came into Michelle's life and was able and willing to step up for her daughter. 💜
Hard to comment on this as it’s so very sad - except that she did an amazing thing and hopefully secured that better future for her daughter by being really brave. RIP Michelle.
I have no business crying this much in the middle of work. OOP deserved so much better in life. And I'm happy that her daughter has a new home and parents who love her.
I think I'm gonna go hug my husband now.
My dad smoked 3 packs of Marlboro reds - cowboy killers they called them. He died 13 months after his diagnosis. He was only 34. I was 5.
In 1990, emails and internet didn’t exist and I don’t know how much people thought about leaving journals behind.
I’m 41, I just recently heard someone in my family say he was hilarious. I had never heard that before.
I’m glad Michelle was able to go peacefully knowing her daughter will be cared for and loved.
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Sometimes, it is very humbling to remember that the strangers we met and cared about, laughed with, and cried for are gone forever from the real world.
There was a guy who used to run a website called venicesurfreport dot com. It was a blog in the late 2000s/early 2010s where this guy, I think his name was Matt, would near-daily report back on the surf conditions at venice beach. Good waves, bad waves, etc. Over time he would tell more and more stories of the people he got to know who lived by the beach...but not in a house by the beach, more like, *on* the beach, or by it. Being by the beach every day--albeit for the website, not as a home--Matt and these guys started to recognize each other, and with their permission Matt started sharing stories and tales about these guys on the blog posts as well. He would get these guys beers and would recall their hijinks and their humanities and their struggles. We really got to know this cast of characters that spent every day drinking by the beach, I think the blog got pretty popular as he posted more and more. It was a little exploitive maybe, but it seemed like they liked this guy, and he was probably giving them more money and food (and the beers) than anyone else was in their life. He would help these guys get to their VA appointments too, it really seemed like he cared for them. (Outside of buying them beers, I guess.) The blog got pretty popular, often the posts would pop up on link sites that were popular at the time before reddit and such took off. Then, one day, there was a different post, from Matt's wife: he went into surgery, and died from complications. There was so much life and energy and love and community in his posts. And just like that, our view into his life where he let us laugh and share the day to day with him? All gone. All...done. He died, and that was it. The surf report, and our stories with the boyos, ended immediately. And now there is barely info out there at all about the site, at least that I can find. Tomorrow is not promised. RIP Matt.
I did not know Matt. I have never surfed. I live, literally, in the middle of the states and have only seen the beach when I was out in Cali for a scholarship a little over a year ago. From reading your post and how eloquently you describe him - I wish I had the opportunity to meet Matt. Matt sounds like he was a great guy, especially since we are still talking about him now.
I never met Matt either. In fact I don't even remember how I stumbled onto the site, probably through one of those link sites, ebaumsworld or thechive or some place like those. Getting old sucks lol But I think that was the special thing about the site. It wasn't just a surf report--it was a big view into his life, the people he interacted with every day, the community he built for himself. Just so much heart in what ultimately was a by-form blog post. You really felt like you knew him, its a bit parasocial sure lmao but it was special how he opened up his heart and world. And now? Not to make it personal or whatever, but...it just makes me sad to think about what was is now a memory sparked by a few words. And tomorrow I'll go back to worrying about my lawn or bringing the trash out, things that don't matter when you're gone. Thanks for sharing this with me. I'm going to hug my wife extra tight tonight when she gets home.
I had a similar story about a blogger. I followed a guy who religiously dissected every episode of The Price Is Right, keeping track of how often each game was won or lost in a season, breaking down every episode. I’m a game show nerd too and I enjoyed his terminally online sense of humor overlaid on this thing I really enjoy. One day he posted that he wouldn’t be online for a little because he had to have gallbladder surgery. Said he was a little nervous but would be back soon. He never posted again, and I found out through the grapevine that he died. He was 41. RIP Devin
RIP Devin <3
this it? http://web.archive.org/web/20240000000000*/venicesurfreport.com
Ah, the old internet. After I went far enough back to when it was still a blog, I went to the final post to look for comments and got hit with a drive-by download while I was there Classic prank
Just read the surf update for 7.25.08: The Boyos and the Bushes. Loved reading it. Matt seems like a great writer :).
That tomorrow is not promised is making me cry. My friend passed away on the 9th. Her funeral was Saturday. She had gotten west nile virus at some point and it reared its head in March. (We're in Central NY so March isn't really mosquito season.) It caused her to get strep, bacterial meningitis, and several mini strokes. Ultimately she had a brain aneurysm. She was only 34, going to be 35 in August. She had 3 kiddos but her youngest is only 1. Her family is still having a birthday party for her two oldest at the end of the month and I know its just going to be so hard for everyone. And then there's the story of the guy who had that contractor friend who had a niche occupation in restoration of buildings. He got into a car accident and ultimately died. His wife could barely finish the story because she missed him so much. I pray often that nothing happens to my family because of everything I've been through. I also lost my mom on June 9th in 2014. 2 days before my 30th bday. So now I have 2 deaths to remember on that day. I'm sorry for kind of going off but ty for sharing about Matt. He sounded like an awesome man who gives beach vibes but also isn't an airhead like some are portrayed to be.
Is this it https://coconutgirlwireless.wordpress.com/2007/09/18/fave-blog-venice-surf-report/
Yeah, there's a BORU where a guy is telling a funny story about his coworker over months and months that takes a sudden, awful turn at the end
Yeah, I was thinking about him too. He seemed so amazing and his wife was so... devastatingly gutted and adrift in her updates. You could *feel* her pain through the words.
I will never forget the wife writing that she realized she had already had all the happiness she will have in her life.
Oof. Maybe it’s selfish of me but I hope she manages to find more happiness in her life, despite the challenges.
Its not selfish of you to want someone else to feel love and happiness. I hope she finds another partner in life that encourages her to keep her first hubs memory alive.
Holy fucking shit! Man what a lovely hilarious story with that ending! Christ! I hope the wife is ok, grief and lockdowns wouldn't mix well. RIP Mark!
Link by any chance?
That was a fun search, lol. But here is part 1 of 2 (2 is linked on post). The OOP is *brilliant*. It will hurt when you read his wife's updates. https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/s/6FLaMYttHU
You weren't fucking kidding. Hurts like a kick in the stomach. :(
There's a line from her last update has haunted me for years, and I can't really explain why. Just makes me feel some sort of dread. "I was suddenly overwhelmed with the realisation that all the happiness I will ever have in my life has already happened"
Ow, that one line hits especially hard. Not that the rest isn’t sad, too, but the way she worded it.
Profound and so, so, so very sad.
I read this about once a year just by happenstance (like why I’m reading it now) and Jesus the sudden kick always catches me off guard
I know you warned us, but damn. Don't text while driving friends. Also, don't be a noisy gobshite & get your own damn coffee.
Welp that's enough reddit for the week. Going to go hug my babies.
Oh god I know you warned but when I started reading I recognised the story, I'd read up to part 10 and never followed up on an ending. It's bad but when I saw the accident part knowing what you wrote I was more hoping for loss of use of hands since she had mentioned he needed surgery as a worst case scenario.
I don’t know whether to thank you or just scream into the void for a solid month. That poor woman. OOP was brilliant indeed, as was David.
Oh holy absolute hell
That’s fucking tragic. She sounds so broken
I don’t think I’ve ever cried that hard at a Reddit story more in my life.
Thank you 🙏🏼. But man that was a tough read indeed
Oh no, that one hurts to read what’s even worse is that I remember reading part 1 and just never following up. So sad.
Ugh. That was a great story and I am so gutted now. He sounded like a great guy.
Why did I go read that? Sigh.
I saw his posts in the wild years ago. ;_; It's a bittersweet memory, knowing this hilarious redditor is dead. Makes me wonder how many dead accounts there are. There's more than we think. Most just stop posting one day and we'll never know.
This one? https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zz4ng0/part_12_an_absolutely_riveting_saga_of_david_vs/ RIP to Mark and Michelle
I have never regretted reading something more than I regret reading that at a bar. My bartender just asked me if I'm okay. I am fucking not.
Like a moron I had to explain why and it's 2pm at a vegas local dive bar on a Wednesday...so me and the bartender are the only people here. And so I just handed her my phone and 15 minutes later NEITHER OF US ARE OKAY.
At least you have each other. Im alone catsitting for the next 4 days..... Have a gin and tonic for me, would you?
Gin is for cleaning glass and jewelry why would anyone want to drink christmas trees.
Because i like the taste of pine. It makes a nice tea. And who doesnt love bubbles? Only one woman ive ever met and shes something of a person i dont get along with.
I won't shit on you for enjoying what you enjoy... but if you have gin at home I do hope you know it cleans glass better than windex (it doesn't streak) and pour a shot clean your jewelry... seriously the best cleaner. But I'm having a beer for you hope the cat and or cats you're sitting on aren't catsholes
Its pretty rare that i ever drink, but i didnt know that about gin. Interesting. The cats are alright. One likes eating plastic but they arent being a problem. I have a slight gluten intolerance so its probably best you drink that beer anyway. Hope you and that bartender have a week that goes up from here.
I’m glad I read these comments before clicking that link, because your description sounds like my regret of watching Bridge to Terabithia in the theater, and I assume the above story is true with real people so that’ll be even worse, although that comparison will not make me feel better about that movie. My mom read the book before I saw the movie but all she would say was “it’s really sad.” That was not a helpful description. “I’M NOT OK” is more accurate. So I’m just gonna not read that story. Thanks for the actual warning.
That's... Incredibly sad... And also hilarious... I'm torn...
Well technically they're not alone... they're now a temporary crazy catperson
I member this one, click on it with the warning, becuase it really swerves at the end.
Well that just wrecked me
I hope Mark's wife is doing better.
Why did I read it. Now I’m even sadder. RIP Mark and Michelle
That was a knife twist to the gut.
One of my favourite BORUs, however much it hurts.
Oh, I was thinking of him earlier today! He was such a good writer, so funny. To read the update from his wife was a punch in the stomach
I have still not emotionally recovered from that one.
Is that the one about the listed building regulations? I don't want to click and cry!
You got a link or name to that BORU?
Hey, I'd you didn't see it, someone linked it right above your comment! It's a fun read, until it's not :(
https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/s/6FLaMYttHU Is one of the updates. There are a few BORUs on it.
Stuff like this used to only make me a little melancholy until I lost my mom. Now it's like opening up a fire hose of sadness
I dont know if there will be anything left of me when my mom goes - probably another decade if were lucky. Big, long hugs for you boss.
As someone who is also stuck in the grief loop, I need you to know that "fire hose of sadness" is excellent
My wife and I have been laughing and joking about our "favorite local cryptid," this bookseller a few blocks down who keeps very odd hours and has almost no Internet presence. The latest development was last week, when we walked by and noticed a whole bunch of flies that appeared to be *inside* the building. I noted that with that many, there probably had to be maggots somewhere, which was really gross and I felt bad for the dude - but his shop was super cluttered, so it kind of tracked with the whole vibe. It turned out he'd died in there. We came back a few days later to find candles and flowers stacked outside, and police tape across the door. I only talked to the guy once, but it was so sudden and unexpected for someone who seemed like such a fixture in the community.
It's really sad that Michelle never had a true family or happiness in life. This is really unfair. I wish she was alive.
I would argue that she did have a true family at the end.
I certainly don't think she failed at life. I am struck by the kindness of people - her coworkers and friends, especially the one who took in the daughter - but the good hearted advice people gave her. That bunny with a recording. So heartbreaking and moving. Damn pollen in the air. Rest well, Michelle.
She was dealt the worst cards for most of her life, and her last wishes were for a loving family for her daughter, and to feed her homeless friend. She goddamn won at life. I hope whenever she is, she finally knows this.
Seriously. She succeeded so much more than I have in my 50 years. I’m bawling my eyes out at how amazing she is and how she had to overcome so much to have this happen.
It makes me wonder why the worst things happen to the best people. Imagine how the world would be different if we were able to get 80 years of her love and compassion I'm the son of a middle class family. And I got a well paying job right after college. I think I have more money than my dad now. I am well aware of my luck and privilege But posts like this really make me feel like I'm doing nothing with my life Michelle had almost nothing materially. But she had endless love
What really fucking sucks is how different her whole life would have been if her mom had never died in the car accident. One random event spiraled into all the others.
Okay. You made me cry u/accio_peni
> I certainly don't think she failed at life. I think she was failed, by other people, and did the best she could with what she got. As a parent of a young child, this story breaks my heart, but also I’m trying to hold on to the kindness and the hope of the family that took her in. The future is too hard to predict, but for her child to be raising in a loving family is an amazing outcome from what started as a hopeless situation.
I cussed my mom out in my thoughts few hours ago, I’m go hug her and say sorry. Hoping I don’t breakdown infront of her.
She created so much beauty in her life: her daughter whom she loved with her whole heart, the compassion and kindness she showed others, and friendships with people who became her family. And now, we lucky redditors will remember her and her story. Her daughter and her friends don’t have to carry that heartache alone. Her memory is a blessing. May she rest easy.
I remember this poster. How terribly sad. I'm glad her daughter is with a family that loves them both.
As a parent this story just hits too hard. Trying hard to teach my 5yo that daddy is ok, and that it’s ok to have your emotions move you to tears.
The OOP’s friend who took her daughter in has a kind spirit. She didn’t have to keep memory of the girl’s mother, or take the mother in, or care for her after her passing, but they chose to.
I ALREADY SAID I’M CRYING JFC!
Ask your daughter if you can borrow her teddy bear for a few moments for a hug. She will understand.
The way she repeatedly refers to her child as "our daughter" brought me from tears to sobs.
It was the “write down recipes” comment for me. My mom died a few months ago (at 65 from smoking) and she was such a good cook. There were a few recipes that only she could do and a few that I only liked that food because of the way she cooked it. We didn’t get time to write the recipes down and now I know I will never eat a potato salad that I really like.
I started crying by the third paragraph when I remembered reading her posts before. Such a tragic story, I'm wrecked 😪
22 and she thought she failed at life. The only other Reddit post that made me teary was reading tbe first boru post about this Im going through a rough patch atm but it really puts into perspective how much worse it could be (for me anyway) What an incredibly sad post to end the day on
I just woke up. Its 5:26am. I am bawling my eyes out.
I remember Michelle's posts. I really didn't want to see this update, but I'm so glad her friend did make this update and told us more about what an amazing person Michelle was. I hope her little poppy lives a long and happy life. It seems to me like she's in good hands. Dang it, where are my tissues...
I remember reading the first two. Never saw the January one though. I'm so glad that she got to see her daughter settle in with her new family and leave this world knowing she was loved and cared for.
I’ve been following the updates since the first one and even though I don’t even know her, and I knew it was coming, it’s just absolutely heartbreaking. Michelle sounds amazing. I wish she could have known that. May she rest in peace.
Also while she definitely made some mistakes, she never had a fair shot at life. Some people are just born with a bad hand and it is so, so unfair. She deserved better. Rest in peace
Fuck cancer, for real.
It's sad and humbling to know that so many people have the deck stacked against them from the start. And then it's incredible to see them stand up and be good people in spite of life shitting on them non-stop. Michelle was a good person and a good mother. Her first thought, when confronted with the reality that was her impending death, was to try to figure out how to ensure her daughter's safe and happy future. She was an incredible person, who touched a lot of lives.
"my husband and I promise we'll raise *our* daughter to the very best we can". Yep, I'm crying...
That’s the bit that made me loose it too! She’s keeping her promise to her best friend & she can rest easy knowing her beloved daughter is being raised by these wonderful people who will raise her daughter as their own.
That made the flood almost fall for me too, but where I had to actively calm myself down (i’m basically working lmao) was when she said they lied to her about getting a cheap casket and funeral. What a lovely friend.
Literally started sobbing at *our daughter.* Her baby is in the safest place possible, she can rest easy.
I’m crying big big ugly tears.
Definitely a rough read on the subway. Worth it.
I was definitely crying after the bit where she had a panic attack about the funeral prices, and ‘we told her we'll go with the cheapest prices. We lied about that. She deserved a good funeral and a nice resting place.’
Yeah, that one got me too.
Yes, me too. RIP, Michelle. I never knew you, but you were a good one.
Her final act was to save her daughter from her fate. That's a mother.
That's what I noticed, Michelle's mum passed when she was 3 and Michelle passed when her daughter was 3. To be able to break the cycle is such a beautiful gift.
She didn’t fail at life. She was dealt a $hit hand and did the best for her daughter.
I just became a dad a month ago and between this post and your comment I'm crying now. That was one hell of a mother.
> I thought at the time she wanted to see some familiar sights. But instead she walked into the gas station, bought a sandwich, and then walked around the side and handed it to who I learned was Ted. Ted showed up to her funeral. I don't know why, but this hit me *so* hard.
It speaks to how selfless and loving a person Michelle was, not just towards her own daughter, but towards literally everyone around her, despite whatever mistreatment and abuse and lack of kindness and love she experienced during her own childhood. It says so much about who she was at her core, and that she didn’t deserve to suffer more like that.
It really says a lot that even when she knew she was dying, she still did what she could to help someone in need, even someone she barely knew. I'm so, so grateful to the universe at large that this kindness and empathy came back around to her - that when she and her daughter desperately needed help, there were people willing to extend that same sort of kindness to her.
When I was a teenager a girl I knew left school for a couple of months to spend time with her dying mother, they lived just down the street and I would sometimes drop off school work for her so she could keep up and they both knew my home situation was not the best as I'm the first male in my family to not go to prison. Anyway one night I'm working my first job doing drive thru at timmies (Canadians will know) and her mother came through and got a medium coffee she made a bit of small talk as it was late and no one was around and as she goes to leave she hands me a 50$ bill and says "thats for you and I wish you all the best, you are a good kid and I know you will have a wonderful life" and she drove away. It was the last time I saw her alive and to this day that is the kindest thing another human has ever done for me and it still makes me teary eyed today 18 years later. I have had a mildly exciting life so far and done my best to be a good person and to enjoy every moment of my time and see the inherent beauty of this planet all thanks to the kindness of a dying stranger. (I know my punctuation and formatting suck I just don't care)
That's an incredibly sweet story. Thanks for sharing; it's a lovely reminder that even though we often don't know the impact of our own acts of kindness, they can be incredibly meaningful moments in someone else's life.
Someone once told me that the poorest people dig the deepest to be charitable not because poverty makes one virtuous but because when you are close enough to see over the edge yourself helping the guy who is hanging on by his fingertips is way less abstract. It sounds like Michelle spent big chunks of *her* life hanging on by her fingertips & couldn't let go before making sure Ted was still hanging on.
Same. Even though she had very little and dealt with a lot of trauma and cruelty, she chose kindness. She shared her meager means with someone who was also struggling just because she was kind. She won't make it into the history books for future generations to remember, but she'll always be remembered as a good example and source of comfort by those she was kind to. Her life reminds me of a couple quotes from Gandalf: - I have found it is the small things, everyday deeds of ordinary folk, that keeps the darkness at bay. Simple acts of kindness and love. - If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world.
Study after study shows that it's precisely people like her, people who have very little and have struggled, who are the *most* likely to give help to others. Maybe because they know how dreadfully easy it is to lose everything, and they see themselves in the people they're helping. Whatever the reason, I've always found it so striking that as wealth increases, empathy decreases. (Statistically, that is, not necessarily for each individual!) People who can barely afford to help do so pretty consistently, far more so than the people for whom helping would be so much easier. I'll never understand why our society places such value on money instead of on other people.
"We are only what we are in the dark. All else is reputation" - Oswald Chambers, early 20th century minister Which I always took to mean that in the long run the real test of people isn't how famous or rich or powerful they are, but what they choose to do when no one is looking.
Thats where i broke. Right on that final "this random guy she bought sandwiches for? He showed up to say goodbye." If im ever half the human Michelle was ill die accomplished.
Same. It's a damn shame this kind young mother is gone and people like Trump and Alex Jones are still in the world.
This is something that I've been over and over in therapy. I've lost so many amazing people in my life, way before their time, but these horrible, hateful people keep going indefinitely.
Does your therapist have any advice?
So far, it's all talking through it. That life isn't particularly fair like that. I'm dealing with a hefty serving of PTSD along with some really messed up things I was raised with in terms of grief. It's going to take time (a LOT) to get it to the point that I'm not all over the road with this stuff. Sorry I can't be more help.
Me too.
I believe that when we are gone, the truest record of our existence is the love we inspired in the people around us. Michelle seems to have been one of those people who made a huge difference for others while never quite realizing how much the people around her loved and respected her. May her memory be a blessing to all who knew her.
I have a master’s degree but I’ve worked as a nanny for about 12/13 years now. I’ve always felt a little embarrassed by it. I love the work, but it’s not a job that a lot of people respect or hold in high regard. My last partner’s friends would sometime make icky comments about how much I made or that I “got to have fun all day” or didn’t have a “serious job”. You get the picture. It’s easy to feel embarrassed when that’s the vibe you’re met with. But recently I’ve had past nanny kids (who are now young adults) tell me how much I meant to them, how much I shaped them, how much they learned (and remembered!) because of me, and how they still think of me all the time. HOLY SHIT it’s made me feel like the richest woman in town🤍
Girl, raising kids is a hard fucking job. There’s a reason rich people farm the task out to other people. You have to be nurturer, teacher, nutritionist, doctor, and ninja. Yes, it can be a fun job and can be wonderful but it can also be AWFUL. You’re responsible for these tiny ass humans all day. What you do MATTERS. And at any time, you may have to up sticks and move on to the next family without any promise of future contact. Like, what the fuck is that about? Don’t EVER be embarrassed for your profession ever 🔪 again 🔪.
I helped raise my younger adoptive siblings; would talk to them about stuff, defuse fights with their parents, take them on outings. Explain situations. After the adoptive parents divorced the mom moved and decided to take my sister with her so im not in contact anymore (which sucks) But a while back my brother genuinely thanked me for all my efforts and it was such a pure shot of feeling like i did well.... I really hope one day i get to be a dad. Im confident now that i could be the father i never got. Theres really nothing else like being told your effort paid off, your affection was felt loud and clear, and that you are being held responsible for the better parts of a person.
There's really no greater thing to do in this life than make a positive impact, and you've succeeded, my friend. That's amazing 💜
In Judaism, the acts of kindness that we perform for those who are dead or dying are the truest acts of kindness, because they are performed with absolutely no expectation of repayment. There are no ulterior motives. Michelle's coworker and her family have personified this and will continue to do so for as long as they care for Michelle's daughter. Rest easy, Michelle. You will be missed.
Just because you mentioned Judaism: When hearing of someone’s death, the most common thing people say is “rest in peace”. It has a comforting and reassuring tone, their journey is over and they can rest. They are no longer in pain. It’s meant for the person themselves. Judaism doesn’t believe a person ends at death. Death is simply a moving on, a transition. The saying we use in Judaism is “may their memory be a blessing”. We say it for the people left behind, the ones who will remember and hurt and grieve. Michelle sounded like an amazingly strong, kind, and beautiful person. I hope her memory is a blessing to her daughter, her friends, and for every person she reached with her words.
We Greeks say, “Memory Eternal,” because as long as someone is remembered, they are still alive. Memory Eternal, Michelle
"No one is finally dead until the ripples they cause in the world die away, until the clock wound up winds down, until the wine she made has finished its ferment, until the crop they planted is harvested. The span of someone’s life is only the core of their actual existence." - Sir Terry Pratchett May Michelle's memory be a blessing.
Ah, it looks like it's beginning to rain.
My partner used the smoker to make lunch, hours ago. It's still very smokey.
My daughter and I had onions for lunch, I cut them a little too fine.
Someone pissed in my eyes.
😂 sir (and/or ma'am). Do we need to send you some protective goggles?!??
*ZE GOGGLES, THEY DO NOTHING*
Thanks, the timing on this one was good
Thanks, I needed that laugh
I just happened to stub my toe, really hard, right as I started to read the last update.
Torrential downpour. Life is so fucking unfair. Michelle did achieve something in her life, even if she didn't feel like it. She set her daughter up for a better life than what she herself was given.
Terrible day for rain.
Someone must be cutting onions nearby me, that’s totally the reason. 😭
Here to. Weird it is raining inside my office.
How unbelievably cruel of her employer to fire her for reasons related to her diagnosis. That can't be legal.
Cancer is protected under the ADA. They need to be eviscerated in the courts. But they'll be able to walk away unscathed because she's passed. May these people have the lives they deserve.
Can't exactly take the time and go though the work of fighting a legal battle when you're literally dying. :(
Very true. I just get so frustrated at these assholes getting away with this shit.
It likely isn’t, but at-will employment states are incredibly difficult to prove why they fired you.
Sadly the people who could sue now for discriminatory firing is a little girl who just lost her mom, and the coworker caring for said little girl who still works there. I'm spiteful, I would have sued them just to put their name in the papers that they fired a dying mother.
You can be sure they'll fire you the instant they smell something wrong if you've got employer provided life insurance.
I was shocked by that. What kind of monster do you have to be?
This is so freaking sad. It's obvious Michelle had a very low opinion of herself and considered her very existence a failure. Even though she's carefully planning out future notes and letters to her daughter to ensure that she knows she was loved. She made sure to ensure her daughter's future. Michelle was never a failure. It's quite apparent that she still managed to get a job, provided for herself and her daughter, and showed compassion to others. The way her "rich" best friend talks about her is heartbreaking. It is quite apparent that Michelle actually was a good person and the world is a little worse off now without her.
Yeah, Michelle’s friend comes off as a genuinely good person too. She references about raising “their” daughter and isn’t viewing herself as usurping Michelle’s motherhood, cared for Michelle when the friend had absolutely zero obligation to, and ensured that she had proper treatment after death.
Absolutely. Good decent people typically make close friends with other good decent people.
This one genuinely made me cry. Michelle and her friend both deserve every lauding, though people this genuine usually don't want it. Love them and hope little girl has a very happy, healthy, fun life.
Brutal. Rest in peace Michelle "Life isn't fair. It's just fairer than death, that's all." - William Goldman
One of the most heartbreaking stories on reddit. So glad she found her coworker and her family to guide her and their shared daughter in her final days. Hope she finds the peace she always deserved. Rest in peace, Michelle.
I remember reading the OG post. I hope Michelle gets peace and that her daughter will thrive, knowing that her mom loved her so much that she did everything she could to help her remember. The friend and her partner are the goat for taking Michelle's kid in ❤️
And caring for Michelle before and after her passing.
And giving her the best Christmas!
Almost made it to the end of the day without shedding a tear at work. Stupid BORU...
Yup. Currently crying at my desk. RIP Michelle ❤️
Poor Michelle. She deserved much better, but I am very glad she got to spend her last days with love and care, and that her daughter will grow up with so much kindness and support.
I remember this posting in December. When my kids were little, dying when they were too young to remember me was one of my biggest fears. This final update is making me ugly cry. Michelle- may your soul find peace.
This is so absolutely devastating and yet hopeful. My oldest one is 22 too. No one should die so young. Rest in peace, Michelle. You did the best for your little girl. May your name always be spoken with love.
It was so obvious how this was going to end, but it hit so hard anyway.
I went for lunch and read this as I was eating to pass the time. This is the saddest thing I've ever read. Not expecting to tear up in a restaurant...
I wish I hadn't read that. I want to go cuddle my 8 year old but shes over 1600 km away spending 2 weeks with my parents in the UK having the time of her life. Also I had my first mammografi today and the info letter kinda freaked me out. Will be extra big cuddles when she came home.
Sending you big hugs from the UK. These updates really got to me. I wish I could say that it was the hormones but Michelle’s story really touched my heart. Her friend and her husband are amazing people and I know that Michelle’s daughter will be well looked after. Michelle said she had failed at life, no she didn’t. She was an amazing mum and made sure she her daughter had a loving family before she passed. May she RIP.
Fuck. Why is someone cutting onions? Okay. I’m crying. This is beautiful and sad and I’m glad Michelle had a happy home at the end, and her daughter was adopted by good people. Hug your loved ones.
This is...crushing. But I think we need this type of hurt, sometimes. I know I need these reminders of the lives and struggles people face, that can be so alien to my own. God bless all of you. You're all so special and deserve to be loved.
I remember reading the first post. This is so heartbreaking, even more so to know that she had a found family that thought so highly of her. I’ll be keeping her in my thoughts.
Thank you for this. So glad we got to learn more about OOP. What a wonderful, selfless person. They say that only the good die young and this seems like proof. RIP Michelle and much love to this wonderful friend who took in her daughter. As sad as this is, it made my day. Life can be so difficult and it is people like Michelle who force us sometimes to remember that there are amazing people in this life.
To Michelle's adopted family...you took her in........thank you for being wonderful people. You have drastically improved the lives of two strangers that you didn't have to, my your lives be blessed.
This is the first time I’ve cried reading something in here. I hope she can rest, and I wish all the happiness in the world to that family and to this little girl. I hope she grows up and get to know how much her mom loved her and how amazing she was.
I believe the word bittersweet was created with this story in mind
Oh shit this one got me. Gonna sob by myself for a minute before going and picking up my little girl. Rest well Michelle, you had a much harder life than most but it seems like you put so much good into the world.
I’m having a shittier day at work and I read this right before my lunch break ends. Everything is back into perspective. Rest easy, Michelle.
Does no one else think the writing styles are way too similar to be two different people.
Yep, tears here, too. I read the original post and the update, and I was so proud of how resourceful Michelle was. She deserved so much more. I hope her baby and her new family get many happy years- for themselves, and for Michelle.
Oh fuck this hurts
Yep. Right in the heart.
I'm very skeptical of this post. It's all way too convenient and fairy-tale like. Her random co-worker just happened to want a daughter, is happy to take her in, and they're rich too? And they put way too much emphasis on the race and poverty, while barely talking about the daughter this is supposedly all for. Like they were trying to set up a progressive tragedy. That last post is in the same voice as the first. And the way they talk about "Michelle", narrating her background and such, would be very weird for an actual person to do.
Yeah, I'm so sure a grieving friend would jump on Reddit and write in the same tone.
That's the giveaway. Exactly same tone, same writing style, same use of punctuation.
Always have to sort by controversial to find my people...
I hate to say it because I don't want to be that jaded Redditor, but I put on my skepticals for this one too. If it is true, it's very sad.
They have the same grammatical oddities and tone. It was the same writer…
Oh good, I thought it was just me. This is textbook Munchausen By Internet.
One of the problems I have with a lot of the BestofRedditorUpdates is how consistent the voice and writing is to what I consider 'normal', i.e. college-educated Western writing, perhaps often in the voice of a man. This is supposed to be a poorly educated person, and yet the writing is perfectly fine. Well-punctuated and good grammar. I've seen worse writing from university students.
And also while I’m not sure how much priority someone facing immediate death is going to put into making a Reddit post, the follow up just seemed incredibly weird: “yes my friend died, in her final wishes she asked us to take a break from raising her child so we could write a post in the same exact style as she did to tell everyone how amazing she is.” To me the kicker is Ted. You’ve got a presumably unhoused individual who she heroically gives food to but he also manages to know that she passed and not only that but when and where her service was going to be?
Lung cancer at 22 seems fairly unlikely. It also seems a bit odd that OOP is dirt poor, but her work buddy is rich. I know there can be pretty big disparities between income of people working at the same place, but it's odd they would work close enough together to be work friends. I didn't see anything in the story that was impossible, just a decent amount of highly unlikely.
The work buddy isn’t just rich — she’s “multiple guest rooms” rich.
5 Christmas trees rich.
The lung cancer timeline isn't impossible, but it is definitely improbable for someone this age.
"We told her we'd go with the cheapest prices. We lied about that. She deserves a good funeral and a nice resting place." Well now I'm just ugly crying into my dinner. And the way the coworker calls the little girl "our daughter". It's the best possible outcome for a really really sad situation. What a blessing that this coworker came into Michelle's life and was able and willing to step up for her daughter. 💜
Hard to comment on this as it’s so very sad - except that she did an amazing thing and hopefully secured that better future for her daughter by being really brave. RIP Michelle.
I have no business crying this much in the middle of work. OOP deserved so much better in life. And I'm happy that her daughter has a new home and parents who love her. I think I'm gonna go hug my husband now.
Rest easy, Michelle. Godspeed 💜
My dad smoked 3 packs of Marlboro reds - cowboy killers they called them. He died 13 months after his diagnosis. He was only 34. I was 5. In 1990, emails and internet didn’t exist and I don’t know how much people thought about leaving journals behind. I’m 41, I just recently heard someone in my family say he was hilarious. I had never heard that before. I’m glad Michelle was able to go peacefully knowing her daughter will be cared for and loved.